Original subtitles

Previously...

Your father died

without naming someone to follow in his stead.

Most of the tanists and the chiefs

arriving for the gathering seem torn,

which of you to choose as laird.

We'll stand before all Clan MacKenzie,

and they'll swear allegiance to one of us.

MacKinney's not hiding his intentions very well.

He's not here to pay respects.

On occasion, our laird can be most attentive.

Try not to linger in his presence.

Won't be showing for a few more months.

No!

Father, it wisnae her. I convinced her to go.

Dinna fash, Ma. 'Tis only a few lashes.

There'll be more obstacles ahead.

Many, nae doubt.

Where do we go from here?

Your father promised her she'd never have to marry

for the sake of the clan.

My father is dead, and so is his word.

Tell me this is real.

There.

You feel that?

What do you think now?

That I am yours forever.

You stole me away.

Did I no' tell you I would?

I'd go to the very ends of the Earth for you,

Ellen MacKenzie.

Tell me what you want,

how to please you.

There.

Are you ready?

Truly ready?

Time to say your daily prayers.

...daily prayers.

Oh, Glenna!

Oh, Lord, over the coming days at this gathering,

bless Clan MacKenzie.

Bless Lady Ellen, who's still abed

though she should be readying herself to tend to her guests.

Bless Colum and Dougal, and please,

I beg you, let one of them be chosen as laird.

Alright, your turn.

And hurry. There's much to be done.

'Tis more than fitting for the occasion.

Pure and chaste.

Beautiful.

Mm, I was thinking something a wee bit more daring.

-The crimson. -The crimson?

It is becoming, is it not?

It is indeed.

Then the crimson it shall be.

Here.

This good cheer wouldna have anything to do

with the attentions of a certain suitor,

now, would it?

Glenna Fitzgibbons, why would you think that?

Oh, such blessed tidings, my dear.

He's a good man.

I was worried you'd disapprove.

You willna tell anyone, will you?

Oh, lass, 'tis a wee bit late, I'm afraid.

All of Leoch is alive with the happy news

that Ellen MacKenzie is to be betrothed

to Malcolm Grant.

♪ Long the way ♪

♪ O'er the bridge I crossed ♪

♪ For my love ♪

♪ For my love that's lost ♪

♪ By the brae ♪

♪ In the verdant moss ♪

♪ Where I watch Where I wait ♪

♪ For my love that's lost ♪

♪ Hi a bho ♪

♪ Hoireann eile o ♪

♪ Hi a bho ♪

♪ Fair a leo fair a lè ♪

♪ Hi a bho ♪

♪ Hoireann eile o ♪

♪ 'S tu mo run 'S tu mo ghràdh ♪

♪ Agus m' eudail o ♪

Tell me it isn't true.

Be thankful.

There are worse suitors.

It will do much to mend the damage between our clans.

How could you do this to me

without consulting me,

without asking me?

Dougal is to blame for the Grants' displeasure.

Why am I being punished for his sins?

Da's passing weakened us.

And Dougal beating Malcolm Grant

only diminished our position further.

I am more valuable to you here.

Can you not see that?

I can offer counsel, guidance.

I'll help you as I helped Da.

'Tis no secret that he favored you.

But you're a fool to think he did anything but humor you.

Counsel?

And what counsel can you offer?

I'll think of a way to improve our position

through trade, I swear.

To align ourselves with the Grants,

cut any challenge from MacKinney off at the knees.

You're not yet laird, Colum.

Da hasn't been gone for a month,

and you're going against all that he promised.

He would never have agreed to this.

And you know that full well, Colum MacKenzie.

Da's promises died with him,

and so did your privileges.

What happened, mo bhràthair?

Of all of us, we were closest of heart and mind

in all matters.

I thought we remain so.

I took care of you.

I nursed you when you were broken.

You stand here because of me.

He's dead.

And I'm grateful to you.

But now I must do what's best for the clan.

And so should you.

Where have you been?

Went to find some food at the gathering.

There's a woman by the river

selling a fine clootie dumpling.

We should leave.

There's no reason to linger.

Tried your damnedest to persuade me to come.

Now you want to leave already?

Can we not stay a wee bit longer?

And what was it you told me?

For the feasting and the lassies?

Aye, lassies.

Like I said, there's no reason to be here.

Not anymore.

What's ailing you?

How would you feel if you discovered

the woman you're in love with was promised to another?

As if I'd been stabbed through the heart, but...

Exactly.

Oh, but you canna mean...

Ellen MacKenzie?

Who else? Have I ever wavered?

Have I ever spoken to you of any other lass?

No, but you have not said as much as good day to her.

Not yet.

I was biding my time till I found the courage.

When you say promised to another...

Betrothed, sworn, pledged, call it whatever you like.

My auntie told me Lady Ellen is to be married

to Malcolm Grant.

Thank you.

Clean as a whistle.

Have I done something wrong?

-I can make a bed. -I'll ask you to your face.

Have you anything to confess?

Nothing.

But surely, in your position, you'll be wanting to...

..."bring down the flowers," so to speak.

The flowers?

Oh, my dear.

You say you hail from London, and yet you're as innocent

as a newborn babe yourself.

I ken you have a bellyful.

Why would you think that?

To be here more than a month and never once

bloody your skirts or bedclothes...

...you're with child.

Every woman's different.

There could be plenty of reasons why I haven't bled.

Come with me.

'Tis used to flavor the gin.

And in quantity, us women can use it

to "bring down the flowers."

Savin.

You think I need to restore my blood?

'Tis worse the longer you wait.

Well, then you should let me go.

Go?

Go where?

Think of your station in life, my dear.

A servant without a penny to your name.

Husband disappeared.

But he...

Perhaps one day, you'll marry again.

Who's to say?

Rare is the man who wants to raise another man's bastard.

Folk will assume you're unmarried,

that the bairn was born out of wedlock.

Be treated no better than dirt on folk's shoes.

Would I be treated better here?

There'd certainly be no chance of it

if you don't take matters into your own hands.

Another mouth to feed

and a hindrance to you and your work,

not to mention the scandal.

The laird wouldna find that the least bit desirable.

You didn't bring down the flowers.

I've heard Brian call you Ma.

He is your son out of wedlock.

Brian is the laird's son.

Lord Lovat's son.

And he Kent it.

'Tis your only choice.

I've no doubt he'll want to keep you.

And if you choose not to take it,

he'll get rid of the bairn himself.

I have no use for that.

I'm not with child.

Lady Ellen, I-I was... taking my leave.

Oh.

Seems we're all of us unlucky in love.

You can blame yourself for your bad luck.

How dare you?

If you weren't so reckless, attacking Malcolm Grant...

I was acting for your honor.

I swear it.

And exactly how far would you go for my honor, Dougal?

Save your breath to cool your parritch.

Dinna add insult to injury.

You despise that family.

You would have used any excuse to pick a fight with them.

I did make a mistake,

aye,

but that was Colum who promised you to Malcolm Grant.

Does it matter?

I'm the one paying the price.

But as it stands, Colum has no right

to commit Clan MacKenzie to an agreement with the Grants.

He's made their injury a problem so that he

can provide the solution.

-I see no problem to solve. -What are you saying?

If you were chief,

you'd rescind the offer he made?

Break his word?

You have a bonnie face.

And Malcolm wants ye. I'm certain of it.

And the Grants have money.

But they dinna stand to gain much from an alliance with us

aside from a hopefully modest dowry.

Glad you think so highly of me and our family, Dougal.

I'm saying what more are the Grants after,

huh, agreeing to this alliance?

They canna be trusted.

Do you believe you'll become laird of Clan MacKenzie?

Are you not concerned

the line of men trailing MacKinney

grows by the day?

My men will back me.

And the clan will back my men.

You'd do well to recognize that.

Rank beggar, oyster-dredger,

dismal debtor on the lawn,

bard baiter, thief of nature,

false traitor, devil's spawn.

The Earth should tremble,

the firmament should shake,

and all the devils of hell for terror quake

to hear what I shall write with pen and ink.

For when I flyte, this man for shame should sink.

Marcus MacRannoch.

Long live the Stuarts.

...craven coward and common thief,

thou purposed...

The Jacobite faithful will miss Seumas Ruadh.

Your father's contributions to the cause

were greatly appreciated.

High sovereign lord...

Am I right to assume that Clan MacKenzie

will continue in their loyalty?

I will fight to restore a Catholic king

to the throne, aye.

My brother's sentiments, however,

are changeable as a weather vane.

...carry this cankered...

He has extended his favor to the Grants, ye ken.

Promised our sister Ellen to Malcolm Grant.

For shame none such should e'er be called a Scot...

A great shame.

A radiant face such as hers could have healed

a thousand hearts for our cause.

Thou begged with a pardon in all the kirks

-while under night... -It still could.

...stole thou stags and stirks.

Because of that...

If I were to be made chief,

I would have the power to select

a more suitable match for our Ellen.

...in all the kirks

while under night thou stole thou stags and stirks.

Because of that, Scotland of thy begging irks.

Can Clan MacKenzie afford to make an enemy of the Grants?

English and loyal shall squeal and skirle...

Wars have been fought over less.

Foul mismade mytting,

give here your purse.

I do not fear war.

...devoid this loathly lown...

'Tis the lengths to which my brother would go

to maintain peace that worries me.

Judge ye now who got the worse.

He canna lead our clan to glory if he's bent at the knee.

Deceitful Jacobite serpent's tongue...

I will make it known.

Any clansmen who desires a Stuart king

champion you as the laird.

English and loyal shall squeal and skirle.

Foul mismade mytting, give here your purse.

Leave off thy flyting, come kiss my erse!

Judge ye now who got the worse.

Eh!

From Malcolm Grant, that you may be fitted for a gown

in his clan's colors.

Grant ladies wear this in their hair

on special occasions.

It's not so dreadful.

Do you think you could make it look half decent?

Oh, left to my own devices, there'd be

birds nesting up here.

You'll take me with you when you're married?

Aye... if I marry.

Oh, Colum's of the mind that a Grant alliance

earns him favor.

But if MacKinney is made laird,

could he not offer you to the Grants as well?

What choice do you have?

None, perhaps.

Not really.

Like a piece on a chessboard,

I'm stuck in this game

with the duty to play it.

But there are still moves to be made.

Spoken as a true MacKenzie.

That's a good question.

As laird, I'd serve you with courage and compassion,

for my heart is made of the same steel as my sword.

Now, as you know, I'll be looking

for as many votes as possible.

And anything you can bring in my direction

would be well appreciated.

Enjoy the rest of the day, gentlemen.

Has MacKinney won you over, then?

I'm surprised he'd take the time

to speak with the women.

The men are already converted.

But if any of them are still wavering,

their wives will be convincing them tonight.

I'd like to see him try to convince me.

He's cunning.

I doubt he'll keep his promises.

He's not the man to carry on our father's legacy.

The clan comes first.

You may resent Colum for offering you to the Grants

to secure an ally to the south.

But Dougal is no better.

My John is intimate with the Jacobites and their leaders.

And he heard this morning that Dougal

offered you in secret to MacRannoch

to form his own alliance.

Surely our brother wouldna be so brazen.

Well, suppose we'll have to wait and see

who will be laird

and which alliance will be honored.

-Gentlemen. -Mr. MacKinney.

How are you?

It's very good to see you.

Welcome home.

I hope you've something for us to eat.

-I'm starving. -No surprises there.

But it pleases me that you laddies

still have an appetite.

Murtagh.

I was worried when the laird sent you

to the MacKenzie gathering.

Relieved to see you untouched.

Dinna fash, Mistress Porter.

I wouldna see him harmed.

Bless you, Murtagh.

You two lads must look after one another.

I've done as the laird asked.

There's much he'll want to hear,

much we're eager to share.

We are?

He'll be pleased with you, Brian.

We must no' keep him waiting.

I'll have Julia follow you in with a tray of refreshments.

I, uh... I dinna want the laird distracted.

All the septs were in attendance.

And of course, some clans came to pay their respects.

The Camerons, uh, MacDonagh, MacLeods,

many Jacobite supporters.

Seumas Ruadh was always sympathetic to the cause,

happy to bleed his clans dry.

Have his sons taken up the cause as well?

Dougal, uh, spoke with several Jacobites.

But Colum received each guest in-in equal measure,

including the Grants.

Aye.

Was my old friend Isaac there?

Well, he was never truly bound to the Stuart cause.

He commits only to what's advantageous to himself.

It's why we get along so well.

Aye, he was...

and his son Malcolm.

Dougal's attitude being what it is,

he managed to affront the Grants.

Right, believing his sister was taken by Malcolm Grant,

Dougal beat him mercilessly.

He was wrong, but the damage was done.

Isaac would have wanted his head, I'm sure.

Aye, but Colum devised a way

to appease Isaac

by promising his sister Ellen to Malcolm.

Isaac Grant is my ally.

If the MacKenzies dare turn him against me...

The marriage will only serve to strengthen their bond.

Aye.

But they're not married yet.

An engagement can be broken.

There must be a reason why she hasn't wed

as her sisters have.

A stain on her reputation?

I'll write to Isaac at once.

The loss of a reputation is...

is no small thing.

Well, you think I don't know that,

that the MacKenzies cared about that

when they saw me fall from grace?

I'll see her name dragged through the mud before I feel

an ounce of compassion towards that family.

But, Father, there must be another way, a...

a more honorable way.

You have much to learn, boy.

I couldna tell why you were so keen

on speaking to your da.

But now I understand.

Wouldna have thought of it myself.

You Kent your da wouldna permit the marriage.

I didna think he'd tarnish a lady's character.

I know it's a great shame

for the lady to lose her reputation.

But if Malcolm refuses Ellen,

I may yet have a chance of winning her hand.

Suppose I should be thanking you.

Ken you had to do as Colum asked.

Will you do the same for Dougal if he becomes laird?

Arrange all the particulars of my marriage

to Marcus MacRannoch?

Dougal offered your hand?

To secure his own alliance with the Jacobites

and undermine Colum.

Those damned fools.

Now that your brothers have divided their support,

MacKinney has an even clearer path.

I-I was at your father's side when he ousted Donald

and took over Clan MacKenzie.

And it was as peaceful a process

as such things tend to be on the surface.

But...

whenever a new laird is installed,

mysteriously their adversaries,

they seem to fall away.

My brothers,

our family,

we're the ones who will disappear

if MacKinney becomes laird.

I have been trying to persuade one of your brothers

to concede to the other, but neither will yield.

Stubborn as mules.

I promised Red Jacob I would serve his family well.

I hope I haven't failed him.

I must say,

sometimes grief, it feels a lot like fear.

Are you not joining the cattle raid tonight, Da?

Your brothers have been learning the ways

of the cateran since they were wee.

Now they must succeed on their own.

But without you there to guide them,

to light the way...

Young men are transformed into true caterans

under cover of darkness.

School of the Moon.

Well, perhaps there's room in this school for one more pupil

and I can go and fetch my horse.

Aye, you're a fine horsewoman, a leannan.

But I wouldna want you to lose one of your pretty little ears

on a raid.

Colum's task is clear.

He must lead a band of our warriors

to another clan's land

and lift their cattle without any hindrance.

Colum's eager to display his courage.

Ah, the endeavor shows his bravery,

but a safe return proves his skill.

We'll ken his worth soon enough.

If Colum can demonstrate he has the qualities

of a true cateran, we'll have proof of his valor.

Should he become chief,

he will be held up by the warriors of our clan.

Never fear the darkness, m'annsachd.

Sheds a light on who we really are.

What the hell happened?

Colum's horse startled, threw him clear off.

I think his leg is broken, sir.

He canna walk.

Alec helped him back on his horse

and we rode straight back.

Are you telling me you abandoned the raid?

We didna make it to where we were meant to go.

You didna make it?

You didna make it?

Why is it whenever I pair you two together,

everything turns to shite?

I'll go fetch Davie Beaton.

Stop your squealing.

Help your brother to his bed.

You can manage that, can you no'?

Go.

I knew from our walks how much you'd miss observing them.

Resilient creatures, eh?

Always a song to sing.

A full moon past, and you're still not out of your bed?

'Tis naught but a scrape.

You should be out on your feet by now.

Beaton says my leg is still healing, Da.

But he swore I'd be well by Hogmanay.

I intended to heed your advice, Da,

and lead us towards the Lowlands.

But Dougal wanted to capture a bounty from the MacDonalds.

When he broke off, many of the raiders followed.

As we neared the MacDonalds' lands,

they rang the kirk bell and gave chase.

In the valley, they caught up to us.

Why did you no' tell me this before?

Would you have thought any better of me?

And when they caught up with you,

did you stand and fight man-to-man?

One of the MacDonalds shot a fusil

and my horse reared.

I couldna stand, much less fight.

If Dougal hadn't led the men astray...

Why did the men choose to follow Dougal

to MacDonald's lands?

Did they have no faith in you as a leader?

It's of no consequence now.

You're naught but a cripple.

Da.

Da!

Colum, no.

-No, no! -I'm fine.

Let me help you.

I'm not a cripple.

Da.

Da?

Colum!

Da?

Da!

Help your brother back to his bed.

Da!

Shh.

Think you can do better than your taxman, Colum?

Come, we'll have a go.

Enjoy your win.

I'd take a moment to catch your breath.

I'm needed in the great hall.

I'm teasing, Colum.

I'd never expect you to face me in a game of strength.

Who's next?

I'll walk with you, Colum.

You must be enjoying this.

Seeing me humbled when promising you to Malcolm.

Your callousness wounded me.

I'll not deny it.

But I understand why you need the Grants

to side with you over MacKinney.

Invite Malcolm to the oath-taking.

Do what you can to improve your standing before it's too late.

I dinna need your aid.

Pride goeth before a fall.

Mind what happened the last time you refused my help.

Dinna fash. I'll never forget.

Nor the way Da looked at me.

As if I might as well be dead to him.

So leave me be, and take your pitying looks with you.

Colum, that's not what I meant.

I don't pity you.

I never have.

How could I?

Because I canna compete in a simple game of maide-leisg,

as you damn well know,

much less expected to be named as laird.

Being a warrior is not what makes a good laird.

Cattle and commerce, tenants, dues.

You know this.

What use is a sword when what's needed is a pen?

I'm glad you think so.

Was it Da who told you that or your precious Aristotle?

Explain it to them, the folk backing MacKinney.

Let's see how your powers of persuasion serve you then.

See how it feels to be found lacking.

Colum.

I should drag you in front of all of our kinsmen

and have you atone.

But I'll no' humiliate us both.

Should you ever put our kin or clan in danger again,

then God help you.

How many lashes have I earned?

I'll no' stop until you've bled.

I don't understand.

How have I disobeyed you?

Huh?

Are the MacDonalds no' our rivals?

Should the MacKenzie name no' be feared?

Feared, aye, but no' disgraced, son.

By stripping them of their dignity,

you only deepen their hatred of us.

Aye, but a dozen or so kine.

If Colum had been more capable,

that's what we would have gotten away with.

No?

You blame your brother?

Aye.

You're a fool, Dougal.

You're a bloody fool.

Come on.

I couldna beat any sense into you if I try.

Well, have you heard?

Seems Colum was humiliated by MacKinney

in a game of maide-leisg.

What I would have given to have seen his face.

If you're not loyal to your own family, Dougal,

how can we trust you to lead the clan?

I heard about your arrangement with MacRannoch.

Well, Colum's no' the only MacKenzie

who kens how to snoove his way.

Always putting your own selfish whims first,

no matter the cost to anyone else.

What are you talking about?

The School of the Moon.

The cattle raid.

Marauding MacDonald land.

What's that got to do with it?

Are you blaming me for Colum's fall?

I-I canna help it if God made him lame.

Better that Da should learn then

that Colum wasna fit to be laird.

Well, you ken that Da never made his thoughts known.

Never declared that Colum should be his successor.

Aye.

That raid served another purpose.

'Twas also when Da decided

that you weren't fit to be laird.

He Kent you'd never learn to put the clan above of yourself.

Da lost faith in you.

Did he tell you that?

'Twas plain to see.

Da didn't name you his heir either.

Yeah, well, 'tis up to the clan now

who they want as their chief.

How can you be so blind?

You're so busy trying to prove Colum wrong,

you haven't noticed that MacKinney's

been courting the Grants as well.

If MacKinney prevails, where will we be?

He'll be the Grants' puppet.

They'll have charge of us all.

Is that what you want?

Enter.

You wanted to see me?

I need you to reason with my brothers again.

They might be more receptive now.

Receptive to what, exactly?

The matter concerning MacKinney.

I have a notion of how to resolve it.

I need to know if it's possible.

Lady Ellen, here.

I'll say another wee prayer for us.

Lady Ellen.

You look well.

I'm glad to see the color in your cheeks returned.

Thank you.

I'm feeling much better now.

I see you received my gift.

I assume the new arrangement is to your liking?

Aye.

I couldn't have dreamt of a more favorable match.

I should join my sisters up in the balcony.

Of course.

Shall we?

I hope your wedding is this well attended.

No sign of our brothers yet.

Not yet.

My father has sat at the head of Clan Grant for so long,

I havena been to an oath-taking ceremony.

It's a true testament to your...

your father's sway and fortitude.

Whoever is named your laird today,

I hope we can both keep our heads.

MacKinney.

May I introduce you to Malcolm Grant,

who is, of course, betrothed to our Ellen.

Tulach Ard.

Tulach Ard!

I stand before ye,

as the eldest son of Seumas Ruadh,

to pledge myself to you

as the laird of Clan MacKenzie.

Aye!

My body is broken.

My spirit never will be.

Therefore, I ken I am a leader.

My strength is in what I have learned

and what I continue to learn.

It is in Clan MacKenzie.

Aye!

I'll no' lie to you.

I'm brave, but I canna be a warrior.

My legs willna allow it.

Though I can protect the clan from crises

we may face,

I canna lead the clan alone.

Should the day come when our fighting men must draw iron...

...I will defer to my brother, Dougal,

as war chieftain.

My brother speaks honestly.

So I will do the same.

Our fighting men ken my valor,

but they may no' ken my loyalty.

Let this prove where my allegiance lies.

I vow before all MacKenzie men here today...

...to be my brother Colum's legs

and sword arm in the field.

I swear to wield my holy iron

to defend the clan's honor in wartime and in peace.

I give you my fealty...

...pledge you my loyalty

in the name of Clan MacKenzie.

Help me, brother.

And I give my fealty to you, in times of war,

in the name of Clan MacKenzie.

Aye!

With my brother and I at the helm,

'tis a foolish man who would threaten Clan MacKenzie!

Aye!

There can be only one laird

of the Clan MacKenzie.

And as I am capable of fulfilling all the duties

of chieftain,

I call into question the legitimacy

of the brothers' arrangement.

I- I believe I could help shed some light on the matter.

It-it is possible for Colum and Dougal MacKenzie

to share leadership through separate duties.

Peacetime laird and war chieftain

are titles that have precedent in other clans.

But for Clan MacKenzie, it is the oath-taking here today

that will determine whether we do the same.

I swear by the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ

and by the holy iron that I hold

to give you my fealty and pledge you my loyalty

to the name of the Clan MacKenzie.

If ever shall my hand be raised against you

in rebellion,

I ask that this holy iron pierce my heart.

I swear by the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ

and to the holy iron that I hold.

And you will be our trusted counsel, MacKinney.

Is this your handiwork, Ellen?

I believe it was Ned who verified the legality.

You've managed it artfully,

as Da would've.

The MacKenzies will stand by their word.

Colum wouldn't have made the offer lightly.

Good.

Well, Isaac now sees value in the arrangement,

and his son is determined

to have Ellen MacKenzie's hand in marriage.

Yes, well, he will not be disappointed.

It will be a beneficial union.

Mm.

Are you lonely?

Would you like some company?

You'll no' find yourself a good woman here.

I do not expect to find a good woman here, Mr. Bug.

I'll be waiting outside, then, whilst you...

carry on with your business.

Mr. Henry Grant, I present Una Hay.

Uh, Mistress Hay has the finest

collection, shall we say,

of ladies in the Highlands.

Right.

If there's a woman alone in Inverness,

she will have come across her.

Describe the woman you seek.

I...

She is an Englishwoman.

uh, soft brown hair;

pale, piercing blue eyes,

but they are kind eyes.

She can make everything seem right in the world

when she looks at you.

Her name is Julia.

A woman like that, she'll stand out.

It may take a wee bit of time

and a wee bit of money.

Well, whatever the cost, I would pay.

I'll send word when I find her.

Right.

Well, I mustn't keep Mr. Bug waiting.

A bit different, that one.

-Aye. -Mm.

So... your usual?

Oh, that would be lovely.

"The best stories always have"

the most unexpected twists and turns,

including this horror story I am living, apparently.

I don't think I can hide the baby much longer.

The housekeeper has a keen supposition.

I've kept her at bay thus far,

but I'll have to tread carefully.

Every day brings with it incessant toll,

drudgery with no relent.

But it is not being forced to work that will break me,

for I believe I'm strong

in spite of my somewhat delicate condition.

Rather, it is the strain of worry that takes its toll,

of being watched,

fearing punishment for my mistakes

or anything that comes remotely close to defiance

or disobedience

in whatever ways that is defined by my keeper.

I am in a prison.

It may not be the conventional kind.

It has no walls as such.

It is made not of stone or bricks or bars

but of vast moors, unpredictable weather...

Hurry, lass.

There's still much to be done in the kitchen.

...and more so by the rules

that govern this time,

a world that is unkind-

hostile, even

to a woman who dares find herself alone in it.

I was foolish to think I could escape from here, Henry.

I've tried more than once. But where can I go?

To a worse fate elsewhere?

I want so desperately to believe what I told you

about the raindrop that becomes an ocean.

Yet I am drowning in a monsoon's worth of tears.

But I am determined that our baby will live

and that Claire will one day meet her sibling

and that somehow we will all be reunited.

It is hard to foresee a happy ending in these circumstances,

but we've overcome so much.

I will keep writing to you,

keep putting one foot in front of the other,

keep holding on to hope until that time comes.

I can't bring myself to let go of the only piece of you

I have left here, my love.

So, forgive me

"for what I'm about to do."

Come and warm yourself, my English rose.