Original subtitles

Oh, man.

Beauty, ain't she?

I got her on loan for the planet's anniversary celebration.

Chief, is this what they used to drive when you were my age?

Well, son, you know, I may have gray hair, but that's for my job.

I wasn't even born when this car was built.

What's wrong with this one?

Oh, when I came in last night, I couldn't seem to get it to shift out of

Well, let's see what I can do, huh? Okay.

Hey.

Y 'all got the keys to my car?

You, uh, you want to run that by me again?

Oh, it's not that confusing, Pops. You see, this here's my car, and I want it

back.

So hand him over.

I don't know what your game is, pal, but this car is on loan from a collector to

my newspaper.

Newspaper man, huh?

Man, you boys always were gutsy.

Bonnie?

Too bad I never much cared for Gutsy.

The car ain't got much gas.

You two are following up quite a resume.

Carjacking, armed robbery.

When the feds catch up with you, both of you are going to go away for a long

time. We already been away a long time.

Feds, you think I'm afraid of Hoover?

What would a vacuum cleaner company want with them? Jimmy.

J. Edgar Hoover, head of the FBI.

48 years.

Never heard of him. They got any money? No, just some pictures and a bunch of

these horror things.

Gold card.

Hell, it is.

Well, I guess we'll get our gas the old -fashioned way. We'll steal it.

Do we have to kill him, Clive? Kid's kind of cute.

Well, make it easy on yourselves, boys. Just sit back, relax, and breathe deep.

How does this thing work here? Just push the button.

Ah!

How do you like that?

Think I'm gonna like the 90s

If

I

could somehow present my head

I knew we'd find a way out.

A little higher, a little higher to the right. Good.

Ah, come on, come on. If we are going to turn this dreary little workplace into

a grand ballroom by Friday, we can't sit around sipping cafe latte. Hello?

Lois! Clark!

In my office now.

What's up, Chief?

You're not going to believe what happened to us this morning. We were

killed. I saved us. What?

The kid's leaving out a few details, but the bottom line is... we were

carjacked. Are you all right?

Yeah, sure.

But they got away with that vintage car we're going to use for the celebration.

Let me tell you how I saved us. Picture this. We're locked in the garage. Hey,

hey, hey, Jimmy.

Go splash some cold water on your face.

I'll tell you about later.

Did you get a good look at him, Chief? Oh, yeah, sure.

Gave a very detailed description to the police.

Then they looked at me like I had three heads.

Why? Because I told them we'd been carjacked, but...

Bonnie and Clyde.

Gee, Bonnie and Clyde died over 60 years ago.

Well, I know that, Lois.

They took my car, not my senses.

But believe me, they did quite a job.

Costumes, makeup, the whole shebang.

Do you remember anything specific about the costumes?

Well, you know, Lois, I'm not real big on fashion accessories, especially when

there's a gun pointed at me. Yeah, it's just that there was a call that came in

over the police scanner last week. A man in a brown felt fedora and alligator

spats held up a gun collector.

That's right. He got away with an arsenal of antique weapons. Tommy guns,

45 automatics. There could be some connection.

We'll see what you can dig up. That car was a piece of this paper's history.

It belonged to one of our great publishers.

But more importantly, it's not insured.

That's right, he's a dead ringer for Elvis.

Of course, before he died.

Have a seat, folks, I'll be right with you.

This is the last one of these places I'll let you drag me into. I don't think

carjackers register with beach.

Lois, who would know better than a look -alike agency about famous

impersonators? Right, right, child.

Her name's Sammy.

So, what can I do for you nice folks?

I'm Clark Kent, and this is my partner, Lois Lane. We're from Vegas, right, huh?

No. Oh, wait. Don't tell me. I'll get it. I'll get it. I never forget an act.

uh... Got it.

Kutcher's the Catskills, right?

We're reporters from the Daily Planet.

Reporters. Oh.

A babe with a face like yours should be in show business.

Show business?

Me? Hey, I know talent when I see it. You throw on a wig, you slap on a beauty

mark, and you're a dead ringer for... Madonna.

Hmm?

Madonna. Oh, yeah.

That's it. I'm gone.

Lois, wait.

Sammy, we were wondering if you represented any Bonnie and Clyde

Bonnie and Clyde. Bonnie and Clyde.

Nope, nope, nope. Sorry.

But it's funny you should ask about them. Had a guy out a couple of weeks

looking for some gangster costumes.

Do you remember his name or what he looked like? Sure.

I keep records of all my business transactions. How do you think I got

am today, huh?

One can only wonder.

Oh, there it is.

Uh, Emil Hamilton rented an entire rack of gangster costumes. Now, I usually

don't let my costumes go out the door without one of my... Superman?

What are you doing here?

Ha -ha! I love it, I love it! Get them every time! Vote!

Say hello to Barry!

Barry?

He's a look -alike?

How you doing?

Lady, don't ask me to fly out no windows, okay?

Got some new 8x10s.

Those are pretty close, but Superman's hair is a lot shorter.

See? Whoa.

You carry a picture of Superman in your purse?

Well, no.

I mean, yeah.

It's just that it came with the wallet.

Oh. Lois, I have to go downstairs to put some more money in the meter.

Be right back.

So, uh, what's your name?

Huh? That's it. That's all of it. All right.

Take a good look, sister.

All of you, take a look.

This is the face that's going to be smiling back at you from your evening

The face of John H. Dillinger.

Hey, what is taking so long? I am getting wrinkles waiting out there.

Aren't you boys a little late for Halloween?

Look who's talking.

Are you supposed to be Little Boy Blue?

Put down those guns.

My, he is one hunk of a man.

What is this, a cap gun?

Jeez, you couldn't hit the broad side of a bun.

That's far enough, pal. I ain't gonna miss this close.

Happy birthday.

I better get you to a hospital.

Nice of you to show up. While you were putting money in the parking meter, the

bank was robbed by someone posing as John Dillinger.

Oh, and Bonnie and Clyde put in an encore performance as well.

What's that?

Tickets, though, from the Cineplex.

Could be a clue.

Do you know how many people were in here today? It could belong to anybody.

Dillinger dropped it.

How do you know that?

Um, I saw Superman on the way back here. He told me. Where's he make him all

this? Believe me, Lois, he's as baffled as I am.

C .K., Lois, I've got some information you're gonna love.

You know that vintage car the chief borrowed? I found out it once belonged

the real Clyde Barrow, so that got me thinking. I called the cemeteries where

they're buried. Jack. I know it sounds weird, but get this.

Both cemetery directors...

said that a few years ago a scientist had their bodies dug up and took bone

hair samples.

That's pretty creepy, huh?

Did you get the scientist's name?

Yeah, it was Hamilton.

Professor Emil Hamilton?

Yeah, how'd you know?

Yep, we got a pretty sweet future in this town, so long as we don't keep

into that clown with the blue tights.

Well, I'd be happy to keep him occupied any time you boys want to run out.

Knock over a few more banks.

That's enough.

What have you done? You were to go nowhere without me. What are you talking

about? I'm talking about the news report I've just heard. Don't you realize you

could have ruined years of my work?

Pipe down, would you?

I will not pipe down. This experiment is the most significant scientific

breakthrough in modern history.

Oh, look, this new fangle box can play cartoons. I will not be ignored.

I did not give up 17 years of my life to bring you back so you could rob banks.

Don't be mad, Professor.

Please. Your perfume, it's killing me, my allergies.

Well, you can't keep us locked up here forever. What is it that girl sings on

the radio? Girls just want to have fun. Don't you understand? I brought you back

so that you could help civilization, not hurt it. Well, we got to do something,

Professor. I mean, we're sitting here going nuts watching this.

Contraption. I'm sorry, but until I complete the genetic altering of your

personalities, I cannot let you back out into society.

Until then, you will just have to abide by my rules.

The rules have changed.

No one makes the rules for Al Capone but Al Capone.

Now that I'm back.

I'm thinking of taking over Metropolis.

Un moment, s 'il vous plaît.

Mr. White, I know you have a paper to run, but I have a reputation to uphold.

Now, I just need a decision.

Oh, no, no, look, Jacques, I don't care what kind of napkins you use.

Just make sure my guests don't have to wipe their mouths with their sleeves.

Warning.

Got some information on Hamilton.

He's a real science nerd. Spends 24 hours a day working in his lab. No

no friends. Every penny he puts into funding experiments.

Well, I'm not surprised.

DNA modification is very expensive.

DNA modification?

I found an article in the library.

Hamilton believed that he could restructure DNA and short -circuit

behavior. He hoped to eliminate all antisocial impulses in man.

Did he ever say anything about bringing criminals back to life? Not directly,

but he did say that they'd be the best people to experiment on.

He even claimed that he'd found a way to accelerate the maturation process of

the embryos. Really?

The people I talked to said his theories outraged the scientific community.

Maybe that's why he dropped out of sight.

Hey, guys, get a load of this. Just came over on the fax.

The police got a definite make on the bank robbers. The fingerprints are an

exact match with the real John Dillinger.

Clyde Barrow and Bonnie Parker.

What are we dealing with here? The Jurassic Park of human beings?

Let's go find Bobby Big Mouth. I mean, if Hamilton created these, whatever it

he might have created, Bobby would be the one person to know.

Don't forget to show that fax to Perry.

Holy elevator, please.

Hey, kid.

Point me in the direction of Perry White.

He, uh, might be in his office.

Do you have an appointment?

Al Capone don't need no appointment.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. We can't have you smoking this nasty little thing in

here. Do you have any idea the effect this cigar will have on my hair? Do you

have any idea the effect this fist will have on your face?

Perry White?

Al Capone? All great shapes of Elvis are coming out of the woodwork now.

Who's Elvis?

Who's Elvis?

Look, pal, I don't know what kind of charade you're pulling here, but... Hey,

that any way to talk to a guy who just came by to do you a favor?

The coop.

Out back.

Washed and waxed.

Sorry about Clyde. He was still making payments when they got him.

Found this under the front seat.

I think it belongs to you.

What is this?

Come on, Mr. White. You're an editor, I'm a businessman.

Let's just say we both know how to run an organization.

And we both know that it's the grease that keeps the presses flowing.

You see, I could use someone like you to say the right things about me in the

paper. Look, I've just about had enough of Masterpiece Theater for one day.

Why don't you take this dirty money and that phony scar and get out of my

office?

Wouldn't you like to think about this for a couple of days? No, I thought

it.

Curtain's down.

Show's over.

You know, Mr. White, I really enjoy your paper.

I'd hate to see it shut down over union problems.

I

can't

believe you just did that. What do you mean? All it did was throw out the

garbage.

Yeah, but I mean, that's Al Capone.

Come on. Jimmy, that guy's nothing but a con artist.

Uh, Chief, I have a fact you might want to see.

This rabbit really smells great.

Lois? It's for Bobby. He won't know.

Oh, yeah, right.

Remember what happened last time you tried to pick some of the cheese off his

pizza? He got all pouty. He wouldn't tell us anything.

Still don't know how he knew the cheese was missing. I was very careful not to

disturb the pepperoni.

Oop.

That's the office.

Better go call Ann.

Uh -uh -uh.

Hey. Oh.

Bobby, how did you get back there? Trade secret.

And how... How dare you eavesdrop on my conversation?

Come on, I can't help it. I'm a professional snitch. Now, what did you

today? A wide variety of culinary delights as usual.

Do I detect an attitude here? Uh -huh.

Well, look, you know, I don't have to snitch for you anymore.

There's a reporter at the Star who is going to give me my own chef if I start

working for him.

Hi, Clark.

That was Jimmy.

You're not going to believe this.

Al Capone just paid Perry a visit.

How many of these characters are there out there?

I don't know, but Capone tried to bribe him. Apparently the mayor got the same

offer. Bobby, what do you know about these people?

Look, all I know is it's an experiment gone bad.

Hamilton really did it. And this regenerated Capone character? Not a big

the no smoking laws.

What else?

What else? What, for this?

You didn't even bring me dessert. Come on.

Boys.

Towards. Way to go, girl.

You redeemed yourself.

Now call.

Look.

There's this guy.

He's got this illegal gaming club downtown on Hob Street.

His name is Georgie Hairdo.

Capone's thugs have been leaning on him pretty hard. What's Capone's interest in

the club?

Oh, come on, come on. He wants a piece of the action, just like the old days.

Oh.

Anybody want this pickle?

Look, something's going down at the club tonight.

That's all I know.

I gotta run.

Oh, and by the way, next time, bring me something to drink, huh? And I don't

mean none of that imported water. Something American.

So what do you think?

I think this pickle's awful.

I think we should visit that club.

Pretty classy crowd for an illegal gambling club.

Isn't that Congressman Haynes and his wife?

Nice to see how our taxes are being spent.

Let's go.

You think they're going to just let us walk in there?

Give me some credit, Clark.

I got enough smarts to get around some stupid bouncers.

Yeah? Hi. Uh, we have reservations.

We don't take reservations.

What's her password?

Joe sent me.

Uh -uh.

The eagle has landed?

Uh -uh.

Swordfish?

Swordfish?

I saw that Marx Brothers movie too, lady. Nice try.

She's just kidding.

The fat lady sings.

I saw it in an old Untouchables episode.

We're here to work.

Take a few more nickels. I just got them warmed up.

Four at the point.

Seven.

Seven out.

New shooter coming out.

Yeah, hard ways out, please. Hard ways out.

So, you come here often? I haven't been here in years.

Actually, I haven't been anywhere in years.

Uh, what can I get you to drink?

Why don't you surprise me?

Uh, can I get a white wine for the lady, and I'll have a club soda, please?

So, you seem a little wound up.

Why don't you loosen your tie and relax?

Nothing, no. I just get a little shy sometimes.

I like to show people my underwear.

Aren't you Georgie hairdo?

Do I look like a dead bald guy to you? I beg your pardon?

Georgie hairdo. He was found floating in the Hobbs River a couple hours ago.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Well, I'm not.

I owed him 20 large.

Do you live nearby?

Now, that's a pretty forward question for a man who won't show me his

Hey, back off, pretty boy.

Ladies, take it. Knock it off, Clyde.

You're supposed to be watching a dog.

Look, it was nice meeting you, both of you.

I have to go and find someone.

Excuse me.

Clark, I just found out George's hairdo is dead. Bonnie and Clyde are both here.

We've got to call the police. Come on. You go. I got to find a gray -haired

with a bucket of my nipples.

My apologies, ladies and gentlemen, for this little interruption.

I just dropped by to inform you that Georgie hairdo has wisely decided to

from the hospitality business.

So from this day forward, this joint is owned by Al Capone. Hey, Al.

Maybe we can make this little cutie our head hostess.

I was always partial to a lady in red.

Leave her alone.

Who are you, a big brother?

You

moron.

What did you do that for?

Now we gotta get out of here.

Joey, pick up the stiff.

I can't be linked to a murder.

Oh, come on in, Jimmy.

I'm, uh... I'm sorry to bother you, Chief.

I don't know what... This can't be happening.

Don't check out in your 20s.

That's not I.

I know it's hard to accept, son. Clark was, uh... Well, he was something

special.

You know, I remember the first time he came in here looking for a job.

Full of that confidence that you get when you don't know any better.

Mr. White, the caterer's on the phone. He wants to know when we're going to

reschedule the party.

We're not rescheduling.

Party's on for tonight.

I don't think anybody's in the mood for a party, Chief.

Let me tell you something, Jimmy.

Daily Planet's a lot more than just paper and ink.

Now, by honoring the planet tonight, we honor Clark.

Everything he stood for.

Now, Jimmy, I want you to run this down to the press room.

We still got a newspaper to get out.

Lois, you didn't have to come in today.

I couldn't stay home.

I just kept thinking about Clark.

Lying there.

I feel like it's all my fault that he was killed.

Oh, honey, you can't blame yourself. You had no way of knowing what was going to

happen. No.

He died trying to protect me.

In one...

Lousy second.

I lost my partner.

And my best friend.

He died without ever knowing.

I never told.

Miss Lane, I'm sorry to bother you. I'm Detective Wolf Homicide.

I need to get your signature on the statement that you gave last night.

You guys got any leads on these animals?

Not yet, but we will. Detective Wolf, there's a call for you in line two.

Wolf, yeah.

That's been confirmed?

Look, we have 14 possibles on Capone's whereabouts.

Okay, just add a few.

Listen, we're going to work on this day and night.

I'll keep you posted.

Honey, you want to go grab some coffee?

Talk about this.

I didn't know what else to do.

I had to pretend I was dead or everyone would know that I'm Superman.

And now everything that I've worked for, my job, my friends, my

life, it's over.

Mr. White called while you were in the shower.

Did he say anything about Lois?

Just that she was taking it really hard.

I guess that should make me feel a little better.

But it doesn't.

I wish I could be there for her. Clark, you can.

Superman.

Dad, Superman doesn't work at the Daily Planet.

He doesn't go to ball games with Jimmy and Perry.

He hasn't listened to Lois go off on some weird tangent and secretly love it.

But you'll still be able to see them.

Yeah, but not the way I want.

They all treat me so differently as Superman, especially Lois. All we can

a lot of people you care about are still in danger.

And Metropolis needs Superman.

Yeah, well, I wouldn't even know where to start looking for them. All I have to

go on is a ticket stub that Dillinger dropped.

A ticket stub?

Clark, don't you know, that's how they caught him 60 years ago. He was coming

out of a theater.

Dillinger is a big movie buff.

Professor Hamilton?

Lois Lane, Daily Planet.

The press?

Are the police with you?

No.

Is it true?

Did you create Capone and the others?

I'm afraid so.

I can't control them anymore.

They're... they've... they've... Professor, why are you locked in here?

It's... it's Capone.

He's making me regenerate more of his gang.

What's in the vat?

Babyface Nelson.

Or at least it will be.

Oh, Miss Lane, you must believe me. I wasn't supposed to be this way.

I wanted to benefit mankind.

Hollywood's created a dozen versions of Frankenstein and you still didn't get

the point.

Come on, we gotta get you out of here.

Come on.

You know where they are now? They never tell me anything.

What's the matter with this town?

The Boy Scouts take it over?

They offer a hundred grand that nobody's interested in selling out.

I remember when you put about three congressmen and a judge for half of

Yeah. Guess they call them the good old days.

No reason.

Well, I'm true playing nicey -nice with these people.

If I can't bite them, then I'm gonna eliminate them. I see here what I'm

a little get -together at the planet tonight.

Anybody worth owning is going to be there.

You still think it's bad manners to crash the party?

Not if you bring a gift.

Figure three slugs apiece ought to be enough.

Well,

well, well.

The little lady in red from the casino.

You know, I locked the professor up in the lab for a reason, Tut.

The morals of this country have absolutely gone to pot.

What the?

When did people start to fly?

Not long before they started coming back from the dead. Enjoy the movie?

How'd you find me?

Same way the FBI found you 60 years ago coming out of the Biograph Theater.

I guess old habits die hard, huh?

Where's Capone and the rest of the thugs?

I don't rat.

Really?

One more time.

Where's Capone?

Hey, who are you kidding?

I know you good guys don't hurt nobody.

That was before you killed Clark Kent.

He was a very good friend of mine.

Oh.

I didn't know you two guys were so close.

As close as two people can get.

Now, where's Capone?

I, uh... I don't remember.

Well, maybe it'll come to you on the way down.

Do you remember now?

I have been known to miss on occasion.

I call you out. I think you're making a mistake, sir.

I mean, without me, who are you going to get to bring back more of your friends?

Luckily, Professor, you wrote everything down.

I think I can find an egghead a lot easier to work with than you.

Next.

Capone, I can help you get to Perry White. We're very close. I'm his top

reporter.

What's that?

What's that noise?

It's my beeper.

Someone's trying to contact me. Can I use your phone?

This dame's one for the books.

Annoying little thing.

All right, start her up. Listen, Capone.

Perry respects me. He trusts me. I could get him to work for you.

Doesn't this broad ever stop yammering?

Superman. I guess you heard about C .K. being murdered.

Yes, I did.

In fact, I have some news about that for Lois. Do you know where she is?

No, she left.

She seemed pretty upset.

I've been trying to reach her, but she hasn't answered a page.

Do me a favor.

Page her again, and keep paging her. You got it.

with DNA, you should have found a cure for allergy.

I'd take you home, but there's something I have to do first.

Superman, wait!

I can't believe this is happening.

First they take Clark away from me.

Now if Capone and his gang have his way, I'll never see Perry or Jimmy again. I

can't tell you how sorry I am about your partner.

Superman found me after they dumped my body.

He froze me with his super breath to preserve my tissue. Then he took me to

Hamilton's lab and followed the procedures in his manuscript. Of course,

freezing the tissue means no permanent damage.

So it's as if I never died. Exactly. Oh, Clark, I don't care for you. It's

crazy, Lou. You're bad.

Oh, Mr. Kent, I can't tell you how glad I am you're alive.

I mean, thank God my work has finally come to some good.

Oh, Clark.

The planet.

We've got to warn them. Capone and his gang are going to kill everybody at the

party tonight.

You two go. There's something I have to do.

Lois, you go ahead. I'll meet you there. Oh, no. Don't even think about it. I'm

not letting you out of my sight. Come on.

Ladies

and

gentlemen, if I could have your attention, please.

There's too quiet in here. You know what this place means?

What?

Fireworks.

A man who was an inspiration to all of us and who was one of the best damn

reporters ever to have a byline on this newspaper.

To Clark Kent.

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. My name is Al Capone.

Now, we'd appreciate it if you would all line up.

What are you doing? This party is bedding up without you. Get out. Or

you would like to stay for some hors d 'oeuvres?

The one who killed C .K.

Hey, everybody, this is the guy who killed Clark. Shut up.

Call the police. I'll meet you upstairs.

Mr. Capone, this is not 1940.

The police are probably already downstairs in the lobby.

Don't make things worse for yourself.

The only person things are going to get worse for is you, Chief.

Capone, no!

You again.

Looking for these?

That's for CK.

Aha! That's for crashing a jackpotty.

What's going on here?

Alcatraz is closed, Capone. But I'm sure they'll find something nice for you.

All right, come on. You have the right to remain silent if you give up that

right. Have you guys seen Clark?

Now, Lois, you've been through a horrible ordeal.

We all have.

But Clark is gone, honey.

I don't know about that, Chief.

I'm going to start jogging again.

C .K.!

How? I mean, what? It's a long story, Chief.

Wow, that's an incredible story.

Jerry, come on, son. I'll drive you home.

I'll see you tomorrow, C .K. Yeah, tomorrow.

Mr. Kent.

Mr. Lane.

Professor Hamilton, what happened?

I burned up my lab. I destroyed all my research.

I realized that playing around with life and death, those are things best left

to nature.

Professor Hamilton, if you don't mind, I'd like to ask you a few questions.

Actually, a lot of questions. As long as it's not about DNA.

You're not pressing charges against him, are you?

For an error in judgment?

I don't think so. If you'll excuse me, I have to get back downtown.

It seems that Dillinger's already got himself a lawyer and he's willing to

testify against Capone.

Oh, by the way.

You're my first homicide case that ever solved itself.

Thanks.

So, I guess I'll see you tomorrow.

You want to lift home?

Yeah, sure.

Being dead really takes it out of you.

Clark, when I thought you were gone, I did some thinking about my life.

You know, what it would be like without you in it.

Yeah. I know what you're thinking.

Gee, Lois, how self -centered can you be? But just hear me out.

I know our relationship has always been difficult

to define.

But when I thought about how much I missed you, how much I was

going to miss you, for the rest of my life.

Well, I started to think maybe there's more to our relationship

than just friendship.

Or maybe not.