Original subtitles

Yeah, I just went home.

No, yeah, for my business trip, I was extremely stressed. I can't believe the

shit I'm dealing with.

Yeah, I know.

Oh, did I mention that I tried that app Bumble? Yeah, it's supposed to be almost

just like Tinder, but for, you know, professionals. I was thinking, yes,

finally, I could so use a good lay.

And nothing.

Literally nothing. I mean, this is completely absurd. I just... I just

know what to fucking do anymore.

Between work... And home, and now this.

I feel like at least one half -blood would be great.

Yeah, a drink sounds good. Maybe later on this week?

Yeah, I'm about to walk in here in a minute.

You've got to be fucking kidding me. There's truly beer now, too, so now I'm

probably not going to get any sleep.

It's one thing after another.

I just hope my freaking stepson took care of the place.

Yeah, I told you he moved in with me for a while.

With his dog, no less.

Cute, but it's a puppy. It's going to tear the place up if he doesn't watch

All I know is that I just can't wait to get inside and just relax.

All right.

I'll call you later. I'm about to walk in, okay?

All right.

Bye.

What if the laundry went away?

You've got to be fucking kidding me. That goddamn dog Rambo.

You know, this is just the fucking icing on the cake.

Yo, Mom, Dad.

Oh, hey, what's up?

Mm -hmm.

So, just made it back, huh?

Yeah, you think?

How was your trip? Oh. Yeah, you want to explain to me about what fucking

happened to my second couch?

Okay, okay, I can explain.

See, what happened is I left. No, I don't want to hear your excuses.

What you're going to do for me right now after I've had a fucking horrible week

is sit your goddamn ass down.

Okay, you don't have to be so mean. Right now.

fucking idea what my week has been like? Seriously?

I don't. I don't.

Look, I can... Yeah, no.

Let me finish.

I've had a miserable fucking week with work from stress.

Not only that, we won't get into the situation with your father.

I couldn't even get laid on a fucking app that's like pretty much promoting

easy it is to get laid.

And then all I want to do when I come home is just fucking relax.

And this is the second goddamn brand new couch that I've purchased.

And I come home to this. You know I'm doing you a fucking favor by having you

here with your lovely dog.

But no, no, no, no.

That's too much to ask for.

Seriously.

You know, come to think of it, unless you want to pay for

a new couch,

Obviously, since I'm helping you out, you don't have the funds and means by

which to buy me a lovely new couch.

And since I need some kind of outlet, okay?

I need some kind of relief.

You're going to help me with that.

That is what we're going to do.

What do you... What? What do you mean that's what we're... What do you mean

we're going to do? What are you doing right now? I'm sorry, do you have the

means by which to pay for another couch? I don't fucking think so, last time I

checked. You're here on my basis.

Right? Okay. My rule.

You're not dead.

What if you guys... You realize that we've been divorced for a while, right?

And what part... What part did I just mention about not being able to get laid

on my business trip? Don't you understand?

That's my problem.

Okay, okay.

I'm sorry. Is this my problem? I know, I know, I know.

You don't have to bring it up. Did you see the other side? You know what? That

doesn't matter. Exactly.

Okay, what do you want? You have option A, to move out and pay for the couch, or

B, help me out.

So what are you going to decide?

Okay.

You're right.

You're fucking crazy, but you're right.

I'm always right.

Don't remember that, I know.

You're already hard.

Do you like it when I get mad at you?

I mean, your mother always does know best, doesn't she?

You already put a smile on your mother's face. Don't you feel proud about that?

Fuck!