All language subtitles for 10-05 Dear Dave

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:38,720 --> 00:00:41,280 Ah! Morning, sir. Ohh! 2 00:00:41,400 --> 00:00:45,240 I just love the hum of the air con first thing in the morning. Don't you, sir? 3 00:00:45,360 --> 00:00:47,760 Makes you just wanna leap out of bed and mop! 4 00:00:49,240 --> 00:00:51,640 - (DEJECTEDLY) Morning, Krytes. - Oh, something wrong, sir? 5 00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:53,240 Something getting you down? 6 00:00:53,360 --> 00:00:56,960 Is it that you're the last human being alive with no life, no family, 7 00:00:57,080 --> 00:00:59,320 no future, no prospects, no hope, is it... 8 00:00:59,440 --> 00:01:01,640 Is it something to do with that, sir? 9 00:01:01,760 --> 00:01:03,360 Somethin' to do with that, Kryten, yeah. 10 00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:06,400 You're missing the human race again, aren't you, sir? 11 00:01:06,520 --> 00:01:09,080 Really missing 'em today, Krytes. 12 00:01:09,200 --> 00:01:11,200 I just can't believe it's all over. 13 00:01:11,320 --> 00:01:12,960 I've been lookin' at some old pictures of them, 14 00:01:13,080 --> 00:01:14,520 remind me of the old days. 15 00:01:14,640 --> 00:01:16,360 Look, there's a picture of them going to work. 16 00:01:16,480 --> 00:01:17,480 Oh. 17 00:01:18,960 --> 00:01:20,120 Commuters, mm. 18 00:01:20,240 --> 00:01:21,280 There's another one. Look. 19 00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:23,240 - They're all laughing. - Oh! 20 00:01:23,360 --> 00:01:24,760 New Years, Titan. 21 00:01:24,880 --> 00:01:27,240 We were so happy back then, Kryt. 22 00:01:27,360 --> 00:01:30,360 I had a species, I thought the two of us'd be together for ever. 23 00:01:30,480 --> 00:01:32,960 Well, it may sound ridiculous now, sir, 24 00:01:33,080 --> 00:01:37,400 but one day, I'm sure you'll meet another species that'll make you just as happy. 25 00:01:38,520 --> 00:01:41,560 No, I won't! No species'll make me happy like the human race. 26 00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:43,520 I'll never find another species like them. They were... 27 00:01:44,760 --> 00:01:46,200 They were special. 28 00:01:46,320 --> 00:01:49,680 Sir, all I'm saying is there are other species out there, 29 00:01:49,800 --> 00:01:52,000 and given time, who knows? 30 00:01:53,080 --> 00:01:54,640 You never liked the human race, did you? 31 00:01:54,760 --> 00:01:58,120 Quite honestly, sir, I never thought they were good enough for you. 32 00:01:59,480 --> 00:02:01,240 I never thought they were very nice to you, sir. 33 00:02:01,360 --> 00:02:03,960 Quite frankly, sir, I think you could do better. 34 00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:06,400 - What, better than the human race? - Mm. 35 00:02:06,520 --> 00:02:09,520 It may sound harsh, but you've just got to get them out of your mind 36 00:02:09,640 --> 00:02:10,880 and get on with your life. 37 00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:13,840 Yeah, but everywhere I look reminds me of 'em. 38 00:02:13,960 --> 00:02:17,920 A couple of beers later on today, sir - that'll take your mind off it. 39 00:02:18,040 --> 00:02:19,320 The human race invented beer. 40 00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:22,400 They were brilliant at inventin'. 41 00:02:22,520 --> 00:02:26,880 They invented sofas and blankets and mops and floors and buckets. 42 00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:29,680 I just miss them so much. 43 00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:31,680 A change of scenery, sir, that's what you need. 44 00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:33,920 Why don't you get out and stretch your legs? 45 00:02:34,040 --> 00:02:35,320 The human race had legs. 46 00:02:36,560 --> 00:02:37,880 I just can't get away from them. 47 00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:40,080 Everywhere I look, it reminds me of them. 48 00:02:40,200 --> 00:02:41,840 Nothing compares to them. 49 00:02:41,960 --> 00:02:44,960 # Nothing compares 50 00:02:45,080 --> 00:02:48,440 # Nothing compares to them. # 51 00:02:48,560 --> 00:02:50,200 I knew they'd break his heart. 52 00:02:50,320 --> 00:02:51,560 Oh! 53 00:02:51,680 --> 00:02:53,640 Human race - here one minute, gone the next. 54 00:02:53,760 --> 00:02:55,840 Fly-by-night flibbertigibbets! 55 00:02:58,320 --> 00:03:00,080 Life. 56 00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:01,800 What's it all about, then? 57 00:03:01,920 --> 00:03:03,920 Why are we all here? Why am I here? 58 00:03:04,040 --> 00:03:05,840 What's the point of everything? 59 00:03:05,960 --> 00:03:07,760 I don't know, Dave. 60 00:03:07,880 --> 00:03:11,120 White coffee, six sugars and a caramel crisp bar coming right up! 61 00:03:11,240 --> 00:03:12,760 Haven't you ever thought about it? 62 00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:16,120 Not really, no. I'm a vending machine. 63 00:03:16,240 --> 00:03:17,520 Are you OK? 64 00:03:17,640 --> 00:03:20,040 You don't seem your usual self today, 65 00:03:20,160 --> 00:03:22,640 asking intelligent questions, being philosophical. 66 00:03:22,760 --> 00:03:25,440 How d'you know what my usual self is like? 67 00:03:25,560 --> 00:03:26,760 I watch you. 68 00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:30,240 Through the crack in your door. 69 00:03:30,360 --> 00:03:33,040 The things you do when you're alone are so funny! 70 00:03:33,160 --> 00:03:35,240 (LAUGHS) 71 00:03:35,360 --> 00:03:36,800 I've gotta get going. 72 00:03:36,920 --> 00:03:38,240 See you next time! 73 00:03:38,360 --> 00:03:42,000 And if you want to talk things through about life and stuff. drop by any time. 74 00:03:42,120 --> 00:03:45,000 Oh, except Thursday morning. I might be out. 75 00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:47,520 Just kidding! 76 00:03:47,640 --> 00:03:50,240 I'll be here! (GIGGLES) 77 00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:51,880 For ever! 78 00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:06,960 Subbuteo tournament this weekend, Kryten. 79 00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:09,840 Not going out in the quarterfinals three years in a row. 80 00:04:09,960 --> 00:04:13,280 Just putting the boys through their paces. 81 00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:15,200 The flabsters don't know what's hit them. 82 00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:25,560 Er, an e-post from the JMC on-board computer, sir. 83 00:04:25,680 --> 00:04:27,920 Oh, yes? What do they want? 84 00:04:28,040 --> 00:04:29,920 They've had a significant amount of letters over the years 85 00:04:30,040 --> 00:04:32,240 from high-ranking members of the JMC, sir, 86 00:04:32,360 --> 00:04:34,640 proposing you to be awarded 87 00:04:34,760 --> 00:04:38,640 the Golden Stripe Of Honour for your years of distinguished service. 88 00:04:38,760 --> 00:04:40,800 Gosh. Really? 89 00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:44,200 They say they've been told you're a modest man who doesn't seek the limelight, 90 00:04:44,320 --> 00:04:47,720 for your only concern is performing your duties. 91 00:04:47,840 --> 00:04:49,160 I'm lost for words. 92 00:04:49,280 --> 00:04:50,560 Such kindness. 93 00:04:50,680 --> 00:04:52,880 They say, due to the number of these letters of recommendation, 94 00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:56,560 they have absolutely no option but to request 95 00:04:56,680 --> 00:04:58,440 you stop writing them. 96 00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:03,920 Oh, bollocking damn and jumbo buggers! 97 00:05:04,040 --> 00:05:06,000 They go on to say, in dealing with this matter, 98 00:05:06,120 --> 00:05:09,000 they've looked into your actual service record and have realised 99 00:05:09,120 --> 00:05:13,760 that you haven't reported for duty in over three million years. 100 00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:15,600 But I've been dead for most of that! 101 00:05:15,720 --> 00:05:18,880 You are therefore being charged with gross dereliction of duty 102 00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:21,840 and you have 24 hours to present your rebuttal. 103 00:05:21,960 --> 00:05:23,080 What?! 104 00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:25,320 If they find you guilty, sir, you'll be demoted... 105 00:05:25,440 --> 00:05:27,000 to third technician. 106 00:05:27,120 --> 00:05:28,560 The same as Lister? 107 00:05:28,680 --> 00:05:31,000 There'll be no-one but you to obey my orders. What am I gonna do? 108 00:05:31,120 --> 00:05:32,440 Help me. That's an order. 109 00:05:32,560 --> 00:05:34,400 Oh, please, sir! Don't order me to help you. 110 00:05:34,520 --> 00:05:36,280 You know how much I hate helping you! 111 00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:38,000 Kryten! 112 00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:40,240 Very well, sir. 113 00:05:40,360 --> 00:05:42,280 Perhaps you could get a note from the medicomputer 114 00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:45,040 explaining you're unfit for duty. 115 00:05:45,160 --> 00:05:47,120 Post-traumatic stress or something. 116 00:05:47,240 --> 00:05:51,280 I haven't been the same since the crew got wiped out - need a note, post-dated. 117 00:05:51,400 --> 00:05:52,880 Too unwell to attend myself. 118 00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:54,160 Off you go. 119 00:05:54,280 --> 00:05:55,560 On my way, sir. 120 00:05:58,680 --> 00:06:00,480 Ahh, you! 121 00:06:00,600 --> 00:06:03,280 Still moping around in your mopey clothes, 122 00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:07,160 listening to your mopey music, being all mopey? 123 00:06:07,280 --> 00:06:10,600 - If you want my opinion... - Which I don't. 124 00:06:10,720 --> 00:06:12,480 ...it's time you manned up. 125 00:06:12,600 --> 00:06:14,920 Listened to some brass band music. 126 00:06:15,040 --> 00:06:17,160 Went for a bracing hike in the diesel decks. 127 00:06:18,480 --> 00:06:23,080 Given the options, I'll continue being suicidal, if it's all the same to you. 128 00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:25,680 And don't think this pity party's going unnoticed. 129 00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:27,240 I've noticed it. 130 00:06:27,360 --> 00:06:29,680 And I've written it down in a special report. 131 00:06:30,800 --> 00:06:34,560 And let me tell you, m'laddo, I pull no punches. 132 00:06:34,680 --> 00:06:36,680 Who's gonna read this special report? 133 00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:38,000 Well, me. 134 00:06:39,120 --> 00:06:41,160 And maybe others... one day. 135 00:06:41,280 --> 00:06:43,280 And they'll read, 136 00:06:43,400 --> 00:06:45,840 "You are the star of your own mopeathon. 137 00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:49,360 "You can't even be bothered to get yourself a cup of tea any more. 138 00:06:49,480 --> 00:06:51,560 "You dunk your biscuits in the fish tank." 139 00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:54,160 I've seen you. 140 00:06:54,280 --> 00:06:56,000 I was watching TV! 141 00:06:56,120 --> 00:06:59,640 As long as it's wet and melty, you don't care where you stick it. 142 00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:03,640 Look, Rimmer, I'm depressed, man. Give me a break. 143 00:07:03,760 --> 00:07:06,120 And besides, I'm a careful dunker now. 144 00:07:06,240 --> 00:07:07,720 Look left, look right, 145 00:07:07,840 --> 00:07:09,800 mirror, signal, dunk. 146 00:07:11,440 --> 00:07:13,800 It's time you stopped feeling sorry for yourself, Lister. 147 00:07:13,920 --> 00:07:16,160 Every problem has an answer. 148 00:07:16,280 --> 00:07:18,400 Problem - your species is dead. 149 00:07:18,520 --> 00:07:21,040 Answer - make some more. 150 00:07:22,080 --> 00:07:23,600 And how am I gonna do that? 151 00:07:23,720 --> 00:07:25,800 Well, you've gotta prepare yourself, haven't you? 152 00:07:25,920 --> 00:07:28,280 Like a fighter pilot waiting to scramble. 153 00:07:28,400 --> 00:07:30,840 If the perfect woman walked through that door right now - 154 00:07:30,960 --> 00:07:34,360 and by perfect, I mean any female with working ovaries - 155 00:07:34,480 --> 00:07:36,280 you wouldn't have a clue. 156 00:07:36,400 --> 00:07:39,440 Perfect woman walked through that door, I would be ready to scramble. 157 00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:43,240 What, you think your old moves would still work today? 158 00:07:43,360 --> 00:07:46,520 You think that snaky, sneaky, arm-round-the-shoulder trick 159 00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:48,760 in a dark cinema is still cool? 160 00:07:48,880 --> 00:07:52,240 Women today would die laughing at that move. 161 00:07:52,360 --> 00:07:53,680 That was my best move. 162 00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:56,800 I had a lot of success with that move. 163 00:07:56,920 --> 00:07:59,120 Women have moved on from that move. 164 00:07:59,240 --> 00:08:00,760 Moves don't move on. 165 00:08:00,880 --> 00:08:01,960 Moves move on. 166 00:08:02,080 --> 00:08:03,400 What, moves move?! 167 00:08:04,440 --> 00:08:05,920 Right, here's a Jacobean move. 168 00:08:06,040 --> 00:08:07,120 A Jaca-what? 169 00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:15,880 Oh, my lady! 170 00:08:17,280 --> 00:08:20,000 Thy beauty doth radiate across the Earth, 171 00:08:20,120 --> 00:08:24,360 like a raging forest fire consuming everything in its path, 172 00:08:24,480 --> 00:08:28,120 and reduces grown men to babbling fools. 173 00:08:31,800 --> 00:08:33,640 Do you think that move would work today? 174 00:08:33,760 --> 00:08:35,800 Not a chance - dead move. 175 00:08:35,920 --> 00:08:38,560 The cloak across the puddle - dead move. 176 00:08:38,680 --> 00:08:42,240 Strumming a mandolin under the balcony - dead move. 177 00:08:42,360 --> 00:08:44,560 How d'you know all this, Rimmer? You know nothin' about women. 178 00:08:44,680 --> 00:08:46,200 You know nothin' about nothin'. 179 00:08:46,320 --> 00:08:48,880 Remember that documentary we watched about breasts? 180 00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:51,040 You thought "areolas" was a Spanish goalkeeper? 181 00:08:53,880 --> 00:08:55,520 Well, what was he, Italian? 182 00:08:56,560 --> 00:08:57,680 It's not important. 183 00:08:57,800 --> 00:09:00,800 Look, you've either got it or you ain't, and I've got it. 184 00:09:00,920 --> 00:09:03,000 I'm gonna make meself a cup of coffee. 185 00:09:05,480 --> 00:09:06,680 (THUD) 186 00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:12,120 Right, abusing the furniture. 187 00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:15,840 It's all going down. 188 00:09:15,960 --> 00:09:18,120 Oh, thanks, 23. 189 00:09:18,240 --> 00:09:19,760 I really needed a lift. 190 00:09:19,880 --> 00:09:21,280 (FRENCH ACCENT) No problem, David. 191 00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:23,120 How was zat soup I made you yesterday? 192 00:09:23,240 --> 00:09:25,880 - It was, er... pretty delicious, actually. - Ah, bon! 193 00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:28,600 - I'm glad you enjoyed eet'. - Yeah, it was really nice. 194 00:09:28,720 --> 00:09:30,080 Magnifique! 195 00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:32,280 So, um... you look different. 196 00:09:32,400 --> 00:09:34,600 Have you changed something? New facade? 197 00:09:34,720 --> 00:09:37,600 Really suits you. You look, er... shinier. 198 00:09:37,720 --> 00:09:39,600 No, same facade as always. 199 00:09:39,720 --> 00:09:41,000 Could've sworn it's different. 200 00:09:41,120 --> 00:09:44,000 - Maybe it's the light. - Oui, maybe. 201 00:09:44,120 --> 00:09:46,440 Oh, it's good coffee, this. Great coffee. 202 00:09:46,560 --> 00:09:48,320 Some amazing coffee. 203 00:09:48,440 --> 00:09:51,400 I've always said to the others, you know, if you want a good cup of coffee, 204 00:09:51,520 --> 00:09:54,360 go to Dispenser 23 - she makes the best coffee. 205 00:09:54,480 --> 00:09:56,520 - Are you 'itting on me? - What? No! 206 00:09:56,640 --> 00:09:59,800 I'm a vending machine - why are you trying to 'it on me? 207 00:09:59,920 --> 00:10:01,640 - I'm not trying to hit on you. - You so are. 208 00:10:01,760 --> 00:10:04,560 No, I'm not! I'm really not. You just make good coffee, that's all. 209 00:10:04,680 --> 00:10:07,840 "New facade, you look shinier" - zat was a move. 210 00:10:07,960 --> 00:10:09,960 - It was not a move! - It so was a move. 211 00:10:10,080 --> 00:10:11,200 You were putting a move on me. 212 00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:15,080 You're getting the wrong end of the stick. It was not a move, now please! 213 00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:17,240 Why are you 'itting on a dispensing machine? Who does zat? 214 00:10:17,360 --> 00:10:19,440 - I'm not! I mean... - Is everything OK, sir? 215 00:10:19,560 --> 00:10:22,360 You know what he just tried to do? He was 'itting on me. 216 00:10:22,480 --> 00:10:24,880 Hit... hitting on her! I mean... 217 00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:26,960 of course I wasn't hitting on her - she's a vending machine! 218 00:10:27,080 --> 00:10:28,680 Why would I hit on a vending machine? 219 00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:30,840 I- I'm sure there's been some misunderstanding here. 220 00:10:30,960 --> 00:10:32,440 He put his hand on my logo. 221 00:10:32,560 --> 00:10:34,520 - (GASPS) - What? When? 222 00:10:34,640 --> 00:10:36,960 Look, I was leaning, it was a total accident! 223 00:10:37,080 --> 00:10:40,840 Oh, leaning and you just happened to place your hand exactly on my logo. 224 00:10:42,080 --> 00:10:46,000 "Oops, sorry, didn't notice it " he said, as he gently grazed my logo. 225 00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:49,920 Unbelievable! 226 00:10:50,040 --> 00:10:52,480 - This is gonna go in the report. - (LISTER SIGHS) 227 00:10:55,360 --> 00:10:56,880 RIMMER: What news of my sabbatical? 228 00:10:57,000 --> 00:10:58,440 KRYTEN: I'm afraid it's not good, sir. 229 00:10:58,560 --> 00:11:01,520 The medicomp said no? It's never liked me. 230 00:11:01,640 --> 00:11:05,400 It's happy to give you a note if you have a genuine reason for time off, 231 00:11:05,520 --> 00:11:06,880 otherwise there's nothing doing. 232 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:11,520 Although I got the impression a charitable donation to the medical fund 233 00:11:11,640 --> 00:11:13,200 might not go unnoticed. 234 00:11:13,320 --> 00:11:15,640 Hmm. A little bribe. 235 00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:17,440 Not a bribe, sir - a donation. 236 00:11:17,560 --> 00:11:18,840 A big donation. 237 00:11:18,960 --> 00:11:22,040 Mm! Where you gonna get major moolah like that? 238 00:11:22,160 --> 00:11:24,400 Expenditure cuts, sir, from the supplies budget. 239 00:11:24,520 --> 00:11:27,880 I've been looking at the ship's inventory for potential savings, 240 00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:30,280 and it seems to me, for a ship this size, 241 00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:32,160 with this many toilet-active crew members... 242 00:11:32,280 --> 00:11:34,800 Toilet-active crew members? 243 00:11:34,920 --> 00:11:39,800 ...there's an astonishing amount of toilet paper in the 2,143 restrooms 244 00:11:39,920 --> 00:11:41,360 going to waste. 245 00:11:41,480 --> 00:11:43,280 You what?! 246 00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:47,000 Toilet paper that never goes into action, never sees the field of battle. 247 00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:49,440 - Return the toilet paper! - Hang on. 248 00:11:49,560 --> 00:11:52,120 Make the majority of the restrooms paper-free. 249 00:11:52,240 --> 00:11:54,520 I-I need that toilet paper! 250 00:11:54,640 --> 00:11:56,280 Every sheet! 251 00:11:56,400 --> 00:12:00,080 I've got a diet that's rich in fibre, curry and beer. 252 00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:02,240 The savings would be insane. 253 00:12:02,360 --> 00:12:06,360 We can get a reimbursement from Supplies and transfer that to the medical fund. 254 00:12:06,480 --> 00:12:10,080 As far as the supply budget is concerned, we're just moving money around. 255 00:12:10,200 --> 00:12:11,480 It's totally above board. 256 00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:13,280 I'll get on it right away. 257 00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,320 - Great plan. - Lousy plan! 258 00:12:15,440 --> 00:12:19,920 Buds, I've got a question for you. What's the best way to break bad news? 259 00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:22,480 Well, generally speaking, sir, you tell the people to sit down 260 00:12:22,600 --> 00:12:24,760 and warn them that you've got bad news. 261 00:12:24,880 --> 00:12:26,640 And what kind of face you got on? 262 00:12:26,760 --> 00:12:28,080 A serious face, sir. 263 00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:29,560 Kindly but serious. 264 00:12:29,680 --> 00:12:31,240 Huh! Kindly but serious. 265 00:12:31,360 --> 00:12:32,760 That's what I thought! 266 00:12:32,880 --> 00:12:34,160 I knew that! 267 00:12:34,280 --> 00:12:35,480 Thanks, bud! 268 00:12:40,120 --> 00:12:42,680 Buds, best you sit down. I've got some bad news. 269 00:12:42,800 --> 00:12:44,520 Whoa, what is it? What's happened? 270 00:12:44,640 --> 00:12:46,400 Is this about me? It's about me, isn't it? 271 00:12:46,520 --> 00:12:48,320 I'm being replaced again, aren't I, sir? 272 00:12:48,440 --> 00:12:50,400 You know everyone's sitting down, then you say something like, 273 00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:52,840 - "Listen, I've got bad news," right? - That's correct, sir. 274 00:12:52,960 --> 00:12:54,440 OK, here comes the bad news. 275 00:12:54,560 --> 00:12:56,840 But I'm gonna do it as char-aydes! 276 00:12:56,960 --> 00:12:58,320 ALL: Char-aydes? 277 00:12:59,760 --> 00:13:01,520 He means "char-ahdes", sir. 278 00:13:01,640 --> 00:13:03,680 You know how much fun there is round here? None! 279 00:13:03,800 --> 00:13:05,800 It's too good an opportunity to miss. 280 00:13:05,920 --> 00:13:07,560 OK, here we go. 281 00:13:07,680 --> 00:13:09,600 Remember, really bad news. 282 00:13:10,800 --> 00:13:11,760 Two words. 283 00:13:11,880 --> 00:13:13,000 KRYTEN: Whole thing. 284 00:13:13,120 --> 00:13:16,600 Ho-hole. Er, black hole, we're being sucked into a black hole. 285 00:13:16,720 --> 00:13:20,480 Er chameleonic mutants. Er, er, er, brain-eating chameleonic mutants on board. 286 00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:22,920 - A giant death worm! - Something's happened to Kochanski. 287 00:13:23,040 --> 00:13:24,680 She's got a rogue virus. 288 00:13:24,800 --> 00:13:25,880 - Rimmer's got a rogue virus. - No, no, no. 289 00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:27,000 I've got a rogue virus? 290 00:13:27,120 --> 00:13:28,800 - RIMMER: Er, explosion? - Zombies, zombies! 291 00:13:28,920 --> 00:13:32,120 I'm being replaced, aren't I, sir? No-one likes me. People have complained 292 00:13:32,240 --> 00:13:33,920 - about the shape of my head. - Strangling... 293 00:13:34,040 --> 00:13:36,760 RIMMER: A giant death worm. Giant death worm heading straight for us... 294 00:13:36,880 --> 00:13:38,960 - Crash, something's crashed. - (ALL TALK AT ONCE) 295 00:13:39,080 --> 00:13:41,160 RIMMER: Heading straight for us. I'm being demoted. 296 00:13:41,280 --> 00:13:43,440 A woman! A woman's coming. 297 00:13:43,560 --> 00:13:46,480 - A woman. Shorter. - Small woman. Small. Male, man. 298 00:13:46,600 --> 00:13:47,920 - Male. - Post! Mail pod! 299 00:13:48,040 --> 00:13:48,960 Mail pod! 300 00:13:49,080 --> 00:13:50,240 - LISTER: Mail pod! - KRYTEN: Mail pod! 301 00:13:50,360 --> 00:13:51,600 - The mail pod's arrived! - Mail pod's arrived! 302 00:13:51,720 --> 00:13:53,160 LISTER: Brilliant, the mail pod's arrived! 303 00:13:53,280 --> 00:13:54,680 - And something's happened to it. - Something bad. 304 00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:56,920 LISTER: It's crashed. The mail pod's crashed. 305 00:13:57,040 --> 00:13:58,880 - It exploded. - It turned into a giant death worm. 306 00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:01,480 - LISTER: It's turned into a jacket. - A giant death worm's come out of it. 307 00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:03,080 This is nothing to do with a giant death worm! 308 00:14:03,200 --> 00:14:04,560 Where were you getting the giant death worm from?! 309 00:14:04,680 --> 00:14:07,680 Oh! Your clothes... your clothes were on a... on a washing line... 310 00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:08,920 - LISTER: Jacket. - ...and mail pod came in 311 00:14:09,040 --> 00:14:10,520 and crashed into your clothes! 312 00:14:10,640 --> 00:14:12,240 Got it in one! 313 00:14:15,280 --> 00:14:17,840 "Your clothes are hanging on the line, and the mail pod crashed into them?" 314 00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:19,120 How's that two words? 315 00:14:19,240 --> 00:14:20,680 Cos when it happened, I said, 316 00:14:20,800 --> 00:14:22,280 "Oh, man!" 317 00:14:23,880 --> 00:14:26,440 You know, if I had a giant death worm right now, 318 00:14:26,560 --> 00:14:28,480 I'd stick it right down your stupid throat! 319 00:14:28,600 --> 00:14:29,960 Hey, the mail's arrived! 320 00:14:30,080 --> 00:14:32,360 Lighten up - mail from Earth! 321 00:14:32,480 --> 00:14:34,120 Death worm?! 322 00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:36,120 Two words! 323 00:14:50,280 --> 00:14:51,600 That's the last one, sirs. 324 00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:55,600 We must have sifted through about a thousand letters now. 325 00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:58,040 One letter from home, that's all I'm asking - 326 00:14:58,160 --> 00:15:00,320 just one lousy, stinking letter. 327 00:15:00,440 --> 00:15:04,160 Look, 50 big ones says the first letter's mine. 328 00:15:04,280 --> 00:15:06,600 Why is everything a competition with you? 329 00:15:06,720 --> 00:15:10,680 Why can't we just sit here and sort the mail like two mature adults 330 00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:14,240 instead of behaving like two schoolboys who have to bet on everything? 331 00:15:16,280 --> 00:15:17,720 Oh, yes, I've got one! 332 00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:20,800 Arnold Rimmer! 333 00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:23,320 The man, the myth, the legend! Rimmsy, Rimmsy! 334 00:15:23,440 --> 00:15:28,840 Mr Popular with a capital P, there's no stopping him, here he goes! 335 00:15:28,960 --> 00:15:30,040 Who's it from? 336 00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:31,400 It's a parking fine. 337 00:15:34,280 --> 00:15:35,680 Still good. 338 00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:37,880 Still a letter - something to read addressed to me. 339 00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:40,200 One-nil, Rimmsy. 340 00:15:40,320 --> 00:15:42,000 Is it? Can it be? 341 00:15:42,120 --> 00:15:43,320 It can't be. 342 00:15:43,440 --> 00:15:44,600 Oh, but it is! 343 00:15:44,720 --> 00:15:46,800 One-all! The comeback kid! 344 00:15:46,920 --> 00:15:51,200 This boy does not know the meaning of the word "defeat"! 345 00:15:51,320 --> 00:15:52,760 One-all! 346 00:15:52,880 --> 00:15:54,720 Go on, then, who's it from? 347 00:15:54,840 --> 00:15:56,760 Hayley Summers? 348 00:15:57,960 --> 00:15:59,640 My God, Hayley Summers! 349 00:15:59,760 --> 00:16:01,400 Hayley Summers! 350 00:16:01,520 --> 00:16:04,440 I'm guessing it's from Hayley Summers? 351 00:16:04,560 --> 00:16:06,360 I used to go out with Hayley Summers. 352 00:16:06,480 --> 00:16:08,120 It's when I was trying to be a rock god. 353 00:16:08,240 --> 00:16:11,640 What I lacked technically I made up for in loudness. 354 00:16:11,760 --> 00:16:15,280 I mean, when I played, people had ringing in their ears. 355 00:16:15,400 --> 00:16:16,920 How long for? 356 00:16:17,040 --> 00:16:20,000 It didn't go away. Once they had it, they had it for good. 357 00:16:20,120 --> 00:16:21,320 That's how loud I was. 358 00:16:21,440 --> 00:16:24,040 So where did you meet her, then? At a gig? 359 00:16:24,160 --> 00:16:26,560 She worked in the bank where I had my overdraft. 360 00:16:26,680 --> 00:16:31,200 We got talking, and badda-boom, badda-bish, badda-baa. 361 00:16:31,320 --> 00:16:33,400 And, um, she dumped you, right? 362 00:16:33,520 --> 00:16:35,080 No, she didn't dump me, actually, Rimmer. 363 00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:37,840 She got offered a dream job on Callisto, couldn't turn it down. 364 00:16:37,960 --> 00:16:40,560 The only girl I ever cared about who didn't dump me, actually. 365 00:16:40,680 --> 00:16:42,800 The time we had together was brilliant, man. 366 00:16:42,920 --> 00:16:47,440 We'd stay home all day Saturday, watch zero-gee, eat curry in bed. 367 00:16:47,560 --> 00:16:50,400 The first person I ever heard say, "the real McCoy". 368 00:16:50,520 --> 00:16:52,400 "That's the real McCoy," she'd say. 369 00:16:52,520 --> 00:16:55,640 "This is the real McCoy. That curry is the real McCoy." 370 00:16:55,760 --> 00:17:00,400 And she squidged up her nose, like that, when she was telling a story. 371 00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:01,840 No, no, it was really cute. 372 00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:03,920 And did you used to tell your friends 373 00:17:04,040 --> 00:17:06,520 about the real McCoy and the squidgy nose thing? 374 00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:08,800 And did you find your friends were suddenly emigrating 375 00:17:08,920 --> 00:17:10,440 or pretending to be dead? 376 00:17:12,040 --> 00:17:13,520 Still smells of her perfume. 377 00:17:13,640 --> 00:17:15,360 Look, I... I don't wanna read this. 378 00:17:15,480 --> 00:17:16,960 It'll make me miss home more than ever. 379 00:17:17,080 --> 00:17:18,280 I'll read it. 380 00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:25,360 "Dear Dave, I hope you don't mind me writing to you, 381 00:17:25,480 --> 00:17:28,040 - "but I've got a confession." - Confession? 382 00:17:28,160 --> 00:17:29,240 Bet she was a man. 383 00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:34,720 Well, you said yourself she liked zero-gee and curries. Bet you she was a man. 384 00:17:34,840 --> 00:17:36,520 Did she have big feet? 385 00:17:37,560 --> 00:17:41,320 When you did the foxtrot, did you ever wonder why she was shaving? 386 00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:42,840 Just- just tell me the confession. 387 00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:44,440 - Oh, wow. - What? 388 00:17:44,560 --> 00:17:46,520 - No way! - What?! 389 00:17:46,640 --> 00:17:48,480 I don't know whether to laugh or laugh. 390 00:17:49,840 --> 00:17:51,920 "Dave, I don't know how to tell you this, 391 00:17:52,040 --> 00:17:53,280 "but I'm pregnant. 392 00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:55,560 "Seven weeks, according to the doctor." 393 00:17:55,680 --> 00:17:58,640 Pregnant? Hang on, my head's on spin cycle here. 394 00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:01,040 Are you saying that I'm three million years into deep space 395 00:18:01,160 --> 00:18:02,880 and she's pregnant with my baby?! 396 00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:06,360 Well, put it this way - you're in the finals. 397 00:18:06,480 --> 00:18:07,840 Finals? What d'you mean? 398 00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:09,880 I mean, who's the other finalist? Who am I playing? 399 00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:12,080 Blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah... 400 00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:14,640 "I don't know whether it's yours or Roy's. 401 00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:16,440 "Thought you should know." 402 00:18:16,560 --> 00:18:17,600 Roy? 403 00:18:19,120 --> 00:18:20,520 Ah, not Roy?! 404 00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:23,240 Not Roy Roy! 405 00:18:23,360 --> 00:18:25,440 D'you mean she was sleeping with Roy? 406 00:18:26,600 --> 00:18:27,920 Who's the dad, me or him? 407 00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:30,560 She doesn't know, she's going for a DNA test. 408 00:18:31,680 --> 00:18:35,040 She must've written another letter to tell me the result. 409 00:18:35,160 --> 00:18:37,160 You've gotta help me find it, we need to find this letter. Yellow envelope. 410 00:18:37,280 --> 00:18:38,720 Yellow envelope! 411 00:18:42,360 --> 00:18:45,120 Hi, 34. Just having a break. Coffee, please. 412 00:18:45,240 --> 00:18:47,800 Oh, you want something from me now, do you? 413 00:18:47,920 --> 00:18:49,360 Yeah, coffee. 414 00:18:49,480 --> 00:18:52,520 Don't play dumb, Dave. I heard what happened. 415 00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:55,320 - Happened? - With dispensing machine 23. 416 00:18:55,440 --> 00:18:57,600 You didn't think I'd find out, did you? 417 00:18:57,720 --> 00:19:00,040 - What?! - All those drinks 418 00:19:00,160 --> 00:19:02,640 and chocolate bars you were getting off me, and at the same time, 419 00:19:02,760 --> 00:19:06,920 you were drinking her drinks and snaffling up her choccy bars too, weren't you? 420 00:19:07,040 --> 00:19:08,280 Weren't you?! 421 00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:09,640 She was just nearer. 422 00:19:09,760 --> 00:19:12,200 She's such a trashy-looking machine. 423 00:19:12,320 --> 00:19:14,840 Is that what you like, Dave? Trashy? 424 00:19:14,960 --> 00:19:16,480 You all look identical! 425 00:19:16,600 --> 00:19:19,400 - Ohh! - Look, can I please just get a coffee? 426 00:19:19,520 --> 00:19:21,040 - I'm out of coffee. - I'll have a tea, then. 427 00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:22,120 No tea. 428 00:19:22,240 --> 00:19:23,440 Milkshake? 429 00:19:23,560 --> 00:19:24,560 Let me just check. 430 00:19:24,680 --> 00:19:26,400 Sorry, no milkshakes either. 431 00:19:26,520 --> 00:19:30,400 Look, I'll go somewhere else, then. You're not the only dispenser on board. 432 00:19:30,520 --> 00:19:33,960 Why don't you do that? I think it might be best all round. 433 00:19:34,080 --> 00:19:35,240 Well, I will. 434 00:19:35,360 --> 00:19:36,560 - Good. - Fine. 435 00:19:36,680 --> 00:19:38,520 - Suits me. - Right, I'm off. 436 00:19:38,640 --> 00:19:40,200 Not missing you already. 437 00:19:40,320 --> 00:19:43,680 Coincidentally, no big deal, but know your tea? 438 00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:45,040 it's a bit watery. 439 00:19:45,160 --> 00:19:48,960 And you know when I said that your Mexican red-hot chilli crisps were really spicy? 440 00:19:49,080 --> 00:19:50,320 Well, I was lying. 441 00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:52,800 - I can't believe you said that! - Well, I did. 442 00:19:52,920 --> 00:19:54,400 Ohh! 443 00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:10,880 How did it go with the medicomputer? 444 00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:12,280 Well, it took the donation, sir. 445 00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:13,520 And what did we get? 446 00:20:13,640 --> 00:20:14,800 A thank you. 447 00:20:14,920 --> 00:20:16,280 Is that it? 448 00:20:16,400 --> 00:20:17,880 I think it does this all the time, sir - 449 00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:21,440 misleads unsuspecting bribers to get them to give money to the medical fund. 450 00:20:21,560 --> 00:20:22,960 That's outrageous! 451 00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:25,680 Has it got no morals at all? 452 00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:29,240 It repeated that the only way it could give you an 'absence from duty' note 453 00:20:29,360 --> 00:20:30,840 was if you are unwell 454 00:20:30,960 --> 00:20:34,200 or you'd taken a sabbatical to care for an unwell member of the crew. 455 00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:35,880 Lister! 456 00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:38,120 Post-traumatic stress. Missing the human race, 457 00:20:38,240 --> 00:20:41,560 dunking biscuits in the fish tank, totally off the rails. 458 00:20:41,680 --> 00:20:44,760 Well, most of that could be dismissed as eccentricity rather than illness, sir. 459 00:20:44,880 --> 00:20:49,120 If you're going to use Mr Lister in your defence, I fear you need something more. 460 00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:50,400 Hmm. 461 00:20:50,520 --> 00:20:55,520 One act of saliva-dripping, mouth-foaming insanity by midnight tonight. 462 00:20:55,640 --> 00:20:57,400 Shouldn't be too hard. 463 00:21:01,200 --> 00:21:02,960 Hey, bud. 464 00:21:03,080 --> 00:21:04,760 Alphabet Head told me what happened. 465 00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:06,880 Come to check you out. 466 00:21:09,360 --> 00:21:11,760 So, who is this Roy dude? 467 00:21:11,880 --> 00:21:13,480 Used to work with her in the bank. 468 00:21:13,600 --> 00:21:17,320 He was always using the finger-wetting machine to count the money. 469 00:21:17,440 --> 00:21:19,000 Real creep. 470 00:21:19,120 --> 00:21:20,760 Could I give you a bit of advice? 471 00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:22,400 Don't think about them together. 472 00:21:22,520 --> 00:21:24,680 - Just move on. - Right. 473 00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:28,720 Keep all those "them together" thoughts right out of your head. 474 00:21:28,840 --> 00:21:30,400 Yeah, right. 475 00:21:30,520 --> 00:21:34,440 All the walking in the park, kissing raindrops off her nose stuff - 476 00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:36,560 don't think about any of that. 477 00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:38,440 I used to love her nose. 478 00:21:38,560 --> 00:21:40,960 She used to squidge it up when she told stories. 479 00:21:41,080 --> 00:21:43,840 And don't be tempted to wonder if she squidged up her nose for him 480 00:21:43,960 --> 00:21:46,480 in that really cute way she used to squidge up her nose for you, 481 00:21:46,600 --> 00:21:48,720 cos the chances are, she did. 482 00:21:49,840 --> 00:21:52,080 - You reckon? - And another thing. 483 00:21:52,200 --> 00:21:55,880 Don't start thinking about all those late-night shifts she was always doing, 484 00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:58,160 because if it was me, I'd be thinking, like, "Hey! 485 00:21:58,280 --> 00:22:00,600 "Banks all close at five." 486 00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:04,440 Yeah, she was always doing late-night shifts. 487 00:22:04,560 --> 00:22:08,080 You know, supervising the delivery of the unstealable pens. 488 00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:12,680 Or staying behind to help update the bank queue waiting-pole rope. 489 00:22:14,320 --> 00:22:17,520 Or accidentally locking herself in the vault for the whole weekend. 490 00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:19,080 She used to always do that. 491 00:22:20,680 --> 00:22:24,360 Hey, you don't think she was with this Roy guy? 492 00:22:24,480 --> 00:22:27,000 The whole damn time. 493 00:22:28,040 --> 00:22:30,520 - It never even occurred to me. - But the key is, 494 00:22:30,640 --> 00:22:32,440 don't think about it. 495 00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:34,280 I'm not thinking about it. 496 00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:36,680 - Think of something else. - I'm thinking of something else! 497 00:22:36,800 --> 00:22:38,120 Good! 498 00:22:40,640 --> 00:22:43,800 Cos if you start thinking about all those hours you were sitting at home, 499 00:22:43,920 --> 00:22:47,920 killing time, while she was probably on all fours, covered in money... 500 00:22:49,640 --> 00:22:52,960 ...while his finger-wetting machine was working overtime... 501 00:22:56,640 --> 00:22:58,000 ...it'll drive you crazy! 502 00:22:59,080 --> 00:23:02,640 Now, you get a picture like that in your head, it's real hard to get rid of. 503 00:23:05,760 --> 00:23:06,920 What you doing? 504 00:23:07,040 --> 00:23:08,240 What d'you think I'm doing? 505 00:23:08,360 --> 00:23:09,640 I told you not to think about it! 506 00:23:09,760 --> 00:23:11,960 I'm thinking about it now! 507 00:23:12,080 --> 00:23:13,520 That's unbelievable! 508 00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:15,720 You've not listened to a word I've said. 509 00:23:22,960 --> 00:23:23,960 Still nothing, sir? 510 00:23:24,080 --> 00:23:27,920 You know, I'm starting to think she never even wrote a second letter. 511 00:23:28,040 --> 00:23:30,120 Oh, sir, I know this has stirred things up a bit, 512 00:23:30,240 --> 00:23:33,320 but I really believe you've got to live in the present. 513 00:23:33,440 --> 00:23:35,600 You've got new friends now. 514 00:23:35,720 --> 00:23:40,200 True, they may not be human, and some of them are annoying and stupid and petty 515 00:23:40,320 --> 00:23:41,800 and maybe even insane, 516 00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:44,240 but that doesn't mean they're any less precious. 517 00:23:44,360 --> 00:23:48,800 You've got to forget about the past and look after the present. 518 00:23:54,960 --> 00:23:56,360 Hiya. 519 00:23:56,480 --> 00:23:57,640 Oh, it's you. 520 00:23:57,760 --> 00:23:58,960 This is awkward. 521 00:23:59,080 --> 00:24:00,680 Look, I'm sorry about before. 522 00:24:00,800 --> 00:24:03,360 I just wanna know if there's any way I can make it up to you. 523 00:24:03,480 --> 00:24:05,120 - Really? - Yep. 524 00:24:05,240 --> 00:24:07,040 Oh, Dave! 525 00:24:07,160 --> 00:24:09,160 I don't know why we fight like this. 526 00:24:09,280 --> 00:24:11,040 We're so silly! 527 00:24:11,160 --> 00:24:12,520 So what's it to be, then? 528 00:24:12,640 --> 00:24:14,800 New paint job, new nozzle housings? 529 00:24:14,920 --> 00:24:16,360 How about a restock? 530 00:24:16,480 --> 00:24:19,400 - Anything? - Anythin'. You name it. 531 00:24:19,520 --> 00:24:23,280 Well, if I could have anything, absolutely anything, 532 00:24:23,400 --> 00:24:24,880 I've always wanted... 533 00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:27,200 to see around the corner. 534 00:24:27,320 --> 00:24:29,440 What, down there round the corner? 535 00:24:29,560 --> 00:24:31,280 Oh, I know it's crazy, 536 00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:33,920 but it's always been a wild dream of mine. 537 00:24:34,040 --> 00:24:36,640 I've heard stories, but to actually see it myself... 538 00:24:42,080 --> 00:24:44,640 I can't believe I'm actually going! 539 00:24:44,760 --> 00:24:46,760 - Isn't this romantic? - Well... 540 00:24:46,880 --> 00:24:49,200 don't build your hopes up too much. 541 00:24:49,320 --> 00:24:50,760 It might not be as great as you think. 542 00:24:51,960 --> 00:24:53,000 Da-daaaan! 543 00:24:54,320 --> 00:24:56,400 - Well? - Oh! Ohhh! 544 00:24:56,520 --> 00:24:59,680 It's everything I thought it was and more. 545 00:24:59,800 --> 00:25:02,200 Oh! Oh, Dave. 546 00:25:02,320 --> 00:25:04,080 Maybe we could stay here. 547 00:25:04,200 --> 00:25:05,480 You and me. 548 00:25:05,600 --> 00:25:07,680 I know it's...crazy, 549 00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:10,000 but we could settle down here. 550 00:25:10,120 --> 00:25:12,440 Hm? Start a new life! 551 00:25:12,560 --> 00:25:15,000 Oh, put me back there by the wall. 552 00:25:16,520 --> 00:25:18,400 Oh! 553 00:25:18,520 --> 00:25:21,040 - Oh, Dave! - Smeg, sorry! 554 00:25:21,160 --> 00:25:23,800 I knew you'd come round, you naughty boy! 555 00:25:23,920 --> 00:25:25,640 Rrrrar! 556 00:25:25,760 --> 00:25:27,560 I'll get you up. 557 00:25:27,680 --> 00:25:29,440 Oh! Dave! 558 00:25:29,560 --> 00:25:32,240 Dave! Naughty boy! 559 00:25:32,360 --> 00:25:33,640 Wow! 560 00:25:33,760 --> 00:25:35,920 I have never seen a ceiling. 561 00:25:36,040 --> 00:25:37,040 (GIGGLES) 562 00:25:37,160 --> 00:25:38,960 (LISTER GRUNTS) 563 00:25:47,920 --> 00:25:49,960 Rimmsy, Rimmsy, Rimmsy! 564 00:25:50,080 --> 00:25:52,440 Oh, yes! CCTV! 565 00:25:52,560 --> 00:25:54,880 Sabbatical note, here we come! 566 00:25:59,200 --> 00:26:00,520 What would you have me do with these, sir? 567 00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:01,640 Ohh. 568 00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:05,440 What did I tell you, sir? 569 00:26:05,560 --> 00:26:09,440 I knew you'd find another species to settle down with! 570 00:26:11,120 --> 00:26:12,440 I'm just tryin' to pick her up. 571 00:26:12,560 --> 00:26:14,840 Looks like you're well past that stage to me, sir. 572 00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:18,720 (GROANS) 573 00:26:23,080 --> 00:26:26,320 Damn paper! There's gotta be some somewhere. 574 00:26:26,440 --> 00:26:27,920 Ahh! 575 00:26:28,040 --> 00:26:30,480 Ooh! Guhh! 576 00:26:31,680 --> 00:26:34,040 Damn near walked three miles! 577 00:26:34,160 --> 00:26:35,800 Hey... 578 00:26:35,920 --> 00:26:37,080 Uhhh! 579 00:26:38,960 --> 00:26:40,480 Hee-hee-hee-hee! 580 00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:42,960 Oh! 581 00:26:44,600 --> 00:26:46,880 That's every letter checked, sir. It wasn't there. 582 00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:49,160 Oh, well. Thanks, Krytes. 583 00:26:49,280 --> 00:26:52,760 Never mind, third technician! 584 00:26:53,840 --> 00:26:56,720 Three decks, not one single roll! 585 00:26:56,840 --> 00:26:58,160 Hey, that's mine. 586 00:26:58,280 --> 00:26:59,640 The hell it is. I found it. 587 00:26:59,760 --> 00:27:01,480 I need it. 588 00:27:01,600 --> 00:27:04,400 - Give it here! - I need to wipe! 589 00:27:04,520 --> 00:27:07,120 You see what you guys have done to us? 590 00:27:07,240 --> 00:27:08,640 This is madness! 591 00:27:08,760 --> 00:27:10,360 Madness! 592 00:27:10,480 --> 00:27:12,160 That's my special report! 593 00:27:12,280 --> 00:27:14,360 It won't be special in a minute. 594 00:27:21,920 --> 00:27:23,800 I've realised now this might be it. 595 00:27:23,920 --> 00:27:26,600 This might be the answer as to why I feel so empty. 596 00:27:26,720 --> 00:27:30,360 I mean, if she had my kids, that means my kids might have had kids. 597 00:27:30,480 --> 00:27:33,160 There might be hundreds of generations spawned by me. 598 00:27:33,280 --> 00:27:35,000 I might have had a daughter who was a doctor 599 00:27:35,120 --> 00:27:38,560 or a great-great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great-grandson 600 00:27:38,680 --> 00:27:40,480 who was a zero-gee football star. 601 00:27:41,640 --> 00:27:43,320 No matter what happens to me now, 602 00:27:43,440 --> 00:27:45,880 I feel like I've contributed. 603 00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:47,960 I am someone. 604 00:27:49,840 --> 00:27:54,000 Man, I hope it's mine, because I know, with her as a mother, they would have been 605 00:27:54,120 --> 00:27:58,280 the best kids they could possibly be, cos I mean, she was a wonderful woman, 606 00:27:58,400 --> 00:28:01,480 and I'm sure she'd have been an even more wonderful mother. 607 00:28:02,600 --> 00:28:03,920 Wish me luck. 608 00:28:11,920 --> 00:28:13,400 What an absolute slag. 609 00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:24,360 # It's cold outside There's no kind of atmosphere 610 00:28:24,480 --> 00:28:27,480 # I'm all alone, more or less 611 00:28:27,600 --> 00:28:30,920 # Let me fly far away from here 612 00:28:31,040 --> 00:28:33,840 # Fun, fun, fun 613 00:28:33,960 --> 00:28:37,520 # In the sun, sun, sun 614 00:28:37,640 --> 00:28:41,000 # I want to lie Shipwrecked and comatose 615 00:28:41,120 --> 00:28:44,160 # Drinking fresh mango juice 616 00:28:44,280 --> 00:28:47,800 # Goldfish shoals nibbling on my toes 617 00:28:47,920 --> 00:28:50,480 # Fun, fun, fun 618 00:28:50,600 --> 00:28:54,120 # In the sun, sun, sun 619 00:28:54,240 --> 00:28:57,160 # Fun, fun, fun 620 00:28:57,280 --> 00:29:00,960 # In the sun, sun, sun. # 621 00:29:05,120 --> 00:29:07,600 (EXPLOSION) 44956

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