Original subtitles

Okay, do we all know what we have to say?

Yeah. And Samia, make it super dramatic, y'know?

About your heart condition.

Don't forget you're meant to be telling us for the first time.

-Mm-hm. No problem. -Hollywood-level acting. We got one shot.

Has to be realistic if we want Paul to buy it.

Question. Apart from checking my account, do I say anything?

No. And make sure you wait for my signal.

-Okay? -Okay.

Oh, and, uh, don't forget, make sure you don't look at the camera.

Well, yeah. Of course we won't.

Samia, why didn't you tell us about your heart?

I don't know, man. I was struggling.

Plus, what was I gonna say?

"Hey, guys. My life is over."

"I could drop dead from a heart attack any second."

"How are things with you?"

Right. I guess, when you put it like that, well…

Yeah, I get it.

And on top of everything else…

Speaking of, how's the account, Vic?

Uh, hold on, let me check.

No word yet.

Could you ask Paul about it, Sam?

-I already did, he hasn't called me back. -Fuck…

Well, I mean, there's nothing we can do for now.

-He did seem pretty confident about it. -Well, then why didn't it go through?

He said it would in a few days, right?

Chill out, David. Like… It's no use getting worked up, all right?

I'm sick of going from hobo to millionaire every four seconds. It's driving me crazy.

Fuck!

Hey! What's with the yelling?

Oh. You're already here.

Hello.

Are you okay, sweetie?

No, not really.

I haven't been totally honest with you, and…

That's why I proposed this, uh, little rock-top meeting, y'know?

So we can talk and shit.

I'm listening.

Well, uh…

I can't even look at myself in the mirror without wanting to…

…spit in my own face.

-Like… -What's going on, baby?

Y'know…

I don't want us to be like those bad romantic comedies, where…

at the height of passion, they discover something

that destroys everything in its path, like… a tsunami, you know?

Like the one in Thailand. I don't know how many people that killed.

Like 300,000.

Fuck. Huh.

Oh my God. Not the best day at the beach, huh?

No.

But, um…

Look, I'm sorry you have to find out like this.

They wanted to double-cross you from the start.

But after Mr. Pivot's accident, they had no choice but to go to you.

Paul!

I'm coming in, we need to talk.

Because it turns out we're victims. We both are.

Wait, hold on, what are you talking about?

We are nothing but pawns to them!

First, they tried to cut me out of the lottery win.

They only brought me in because they had no choice.

And to make it worse, they had Tom follow me,

and I, stupid as I am, thought he actually fell for me.

Okay, I just… I don't understand why you're telling me all this.

Come on, drop the act.

I know you're the one behind the threats and everything.

What threats? What are you even talking about?

Stop lying already.

I know, okay? They told me it was you, I know it was.

What was me? Explain it for me.

The blackmailer.

They know it's you.

They know you're filming them.

None of you what saw is true. It was all staged.

They found your little camera in the leopard's eye.

So? Do you believe me?

They want you to let your guard down.

But they… they wanna play you, y'know?

I mean, they want revenge. Okay?

So, what are you gonna do?

I don't know.

It was all for nothing anyway.

And the money?

I was gonna give it back, actually.

I just wanted to get Samia back, but that's not gonna happen.

The money was just the only way to get to them, y'know?

Well, I know their real plan, if you're interested.

But I want half of the 17 million.

And why should I believe you?

I could give you a little something to sweeten the deal.

So you see I'm not bullshitting you.

Okay, I'm listening.

Okay. Tomorrow Samia will visit you here.

Come in, it's open.

Hi, sweetie, how are ya?

She'll act like she's in love with you, but the truth is,

she's in love with Léo.

Sorry I was a total mess last time, but I missed you so much.

I missed you too.

Then she'll make up a reason to get you to leave her by herself.

Oh, you know, I'm so hungry.

I never got to taste one of your omelets, right?

-Sure, I'll make you one. -Thanks.

Once she's alone, she's gonna go into your room with a hard drive.

Then she's gonna go through your laptop

and get all the proof you have against them.

Oh, and by the way… she knows your cloud password.

Their plan is to hand it all to the police.

That way you'll be busted for cyber-harassment and extortion.

I don't get it. Aren't they worried they'll never get the money back?

No. They don't care anymore.

No, they'll do anything to bring you down.

So you've gotta clean out your entire laptop

so there's nothing for her to find.

If you don't, well… you're in for a police search.

Got it?

Mm-hmm.

Fuck me, shit.

What're you doing?

I, uh… I, um… I lost a bracelet, so I was just checking if it might be here.

Yeah, I-I didn't find it, so… Yeah.

I'm so sorry, but I've gotta dip now.

Ditching me again?

No! No, no. It's just, uh…

My dad called me, and, uh, I have… he needs help right now.

Hm.

But I'd really love for us to go to David's birthday party together.

-Yeah, sure. -Awesome.

Paul, Paul. You're late. Sit down.

You okay?

Jesus… No, Paul. It's a mess.

-It's just-- -What's wrong?

I didn't call because I think your phone's bugged already.

What do you mean? How?

Well, Samia didn't find anything, but they went to the police anyway.

They gave them your offshore account details,

your name, your address, y'know, everything they had on you.

God damn it. What do I do?

You need to go to Panama,

clean out the account,

pack all the cash into suitcases, and hide them somewhere, right?

That would be hell. I'm not going to Panama by myself.

I figured you'd be more on top of things.

I guess it'll have to be me.

-We need to get some help. -Shh, shh, shh.

You sure it's completely untraceable?

Absolutely. I spent all night on it.

Oh, was I wondering why you weren't looking your best, Jean-Yves.

So, this Mr. Dacosta is our straw man in the Caymans?

Yes, and one of your partners.

You won't be shareholders in the company…

But part of its structure will belong to another structure…

Which will also belong to yet another structure, which,

after about 30 degrees of separation,

will belong to your business.

And so Hypnos Corp is the one we each own half of, right?

That's right.

Perfect.

Once you sign,

we'll be good to transfer your funds from Panama to the Caymans.

That way, you'll be able to close your accounts,

and you'll be untraceable.

Once you're safe, we'll proceed with dissolving all these bullshit companies,

and you will get your capital back then.

Now we can relax.

They'll be leading the cops to nothing, fucking hilarious.

Yep.

Now we need to humiliate them.

What do you mean?

Uh, I mean, we should also get our revenge, right?

Sure. We should, but…

Do you still have the videos?

The stuff at the hospital, the stuff with Pivot, all that.

Do you still have it?

-No. -What?

No. You told me to clean out my laptop and the cloud.

Oh no, why would you do that?

It's okay, I'm kidding. I've got it here. What do you take me for?

-Oh wow! You're the shit! -That's right.

Uh, by the way, don't keep that at home, right?

Just in case, y'know? We don't want the cops to find it.

-Don't worry. I'll hide it tonight. -Yeah. Okay.

Because there'll be a giant screen at David's party.

And that is how we'll expose them.

I can't wait to see their faces when we show everyone who they really are.

My beauties!

-Welcome to my home. -Oh man, David.

-But the weather's so crappy, right? -Nah, don't worry!

Did you check? It's not looking good.

Yeah, I checked. It'll be better in an hour.

Okay, David. Question.

Are you cutting your dick in front of everyone?

My, uh… Yeah. I am, sure.

My dude.

Babe…

-Babe, no, he's already circumcised. -Really?

-How do you know? Have you seen his dick? -I mean, no. He just told me.

Anyway, guys. You know what I'm dying to see tonight?

Paul's face when we drop the bomb on him.

And please, don't leave me alone with him.

Makes sense.

Tonight is gonna be the shit.

Everybody remembers what we gotta do, right?

-Yeah. -Yeah.

We got this. Everything's ready.

L'chaim!

L'chaim!

-Mm. -Oh!

-Whoo! -Come on, bro.

Fuck, man! Crazy party!

-Hello. Hello, hello. Hello. -'Sup?

-How are you? -Hey. Hey.

-Oh, wow. -Hey, what's up?

Everyone, this is Pacôme.

-Nice to meet you. -Likewise, bro. Have a seat, join us.

-Oh, thanks. -Welcome.

Not gonna lie, bro… I'm loving that grandpa drip, for real.

Yeah…

No, yeah, I know.

I'm, uh… I'm way off. I don't know, I just thought bar mitzvahs were fancy.

What's up, guys?

-Oh, Paul. How's it going, dude? -I'm good, you? All good?

-Great. -All right.

-What's up? -Hey.

Here, bro. Let's raise a glass.

I'm glad you're here.

Old-school style. Hey, we're counting on you, all right?

It'll be great to get the money back, honestly.

I know. Trust me, I've got a surprise.

Happy to hear it.

Can't wait.

Can't wait.

What! What! What! Yeah, I love it.

Keep dancing like that all night, bro! I'm loving it.

Hey, Karim. It's one pair each, dude.

Relax, they're for the fam, bro!

-Yeah, family. Sure. -You know me.

Come on, it's easy. One, two, three, a whole lime, 12 points.

Uh… A lime wedge, six points.

That gives you… Okay, 30 points.

A whole lime, you have to drink.

Yeah, no, I'm not sure I get all that.

Oh, yeah?

Well, okay.

When I say "top," you drink.

-Okay? -Okay. Sounds good.

One, two… top!

Top!

Oh, wow!

Oh.

Awesome, I love being knocked sideways by a strong shot like that.

Makes me wanna puke my shrimp risotto all over your jacket.

-Glad you like it. -Well done, sir.

Whoa! Boner alert!

Well, nothing gets past you.

So, tell me, do you recycle or not?

-Kinda, y'know. -Kinda?

Fuckin' A.

My man, please keep that bow tie straight, okay?

Hey, you wanna go somewhere quiet?

Uh, no, I'm good. Come dance with me.

I think we need to talk.

What, now?

Come on.

You got the condom on, right?

-Yeah, don't worry. -Okay.

No messing around on that front.

Okay, well, come on, let's go!

Okay.

-Oh yeah, that's fucking great. -Yeah?

You fucking rule, Carla. For real, it is gonna be lit.

We got blue, red, green…

It's gonna be a wild finale.

So I give you the green light, and you set off the fireworks, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm not gonna fuck it up.

No? Okay, cool.

-Sweet! -Karim, Karim.

-Yeah? -Have you seen Samia?

Uh, she was on the dance floor with Paul, I think, bro.

Okay.

You wanna sit?

I know the last few weeks, uh, have been super crazy.

Honestly, all of this…

Well, I feel like it's brought us closer.

Yeah.

Do you know why I managed to forgive you?

No.

Because I realized it's normal to hurt each other when you love too much.

You'd forgive me too if I hurt you out of love, right?

Mm-hmm.

Jess?

-Oh boy. Sorry. -What is it?

I can't find Samia.

You think I'm stupid? The cake arriving, the cake not arriving.

Fireworks, no fireworks. You think I can't manage that shit?

-Yeah, of course you can… -David!

-What's up? -We need your help, we can't find Samia.

-What? -I mean, we don't know where she is.

Come on, David.

That's all I ask, you know?

I just wanted to be alone with you.

Mm-hmm.

Paul!

-Shit, you scared me! -You okay?

Yeah, what is it?

Oh, nothing, you know, I just wanted to see the view.

How are you, Samia?

Yeah, fine, I'm just, like, super thirsty, so…

What are you doing?

Nothing.

Come on, nothing?

You know it's too late to back out now, don't you?

-Are you thinking about flaking? -Of course not.

Don't let Samia get the better of you.

-That's ridiculous. -Hey, she's screwing with you.

Didn't you see how happy she was to get away?

No, she's… just shy, that's all.

You're so blind, aren't you?

Let me show you something. Let's go. Come on.

There, look.

Shy, huh?

That fucking bitch.

And so it begins.

Good evening.

Cut the music. Yo, cut the music, please.

Excuse me, everyone. Gather round!

Come closer.

Real quick, two seconds!

I've got something to show you.

Everyone gather round, come on.

You in the back, come on. I've got something to show you.

I promise it won't take long, okay?

Are you ready?

Game over.

48H BEFORE THE PARTY

We didn't want to give you your share, so we asked Mr. Pivot.

Then we were accused of stealing the ticket.

Why are you telling me all this?

Because we were touched by what you did for us.

You didn't hesitate to send the money to the blackmailer.

And we felt really bad for not being honest with you.

So then, who?

It's Paul. My ex.

My God.

Anyhow, will you help us get the money back?

And get our revenge?

36H BEFORE THE PARTY

Look, I'm sorry you have to find out like this.

They wanted to double-cross you from the start.

But after Mr. Pivot's accident, they had no choice but to go to you.

Oh, I already know about all this, hon.

Huh?

Yeah, that's right, they wanted to--

I need this moment of truth where I just say things, y'know?

Do you mind if I, uh, do my entrance again?

And, uh, you just sit there and let me talk?

Or play along, y'know?

-Of course, sounds great. -Yeah? Really?

-Yeah. -Sick.

Go on, then.

Hey! What's with the yelling?

Oh. You're already here.

Hello.

Are you okay, sweetie?

No.

24H BEFORE THE PARTY

-Got it all here. What do you take me for? -Wow! You're the shit!

That's right.

Uh… By the way, don't keep that at home, right?

-Don't worry. I'll hide it somewhere. -Yeah. Okay.

-So? -Ah…

Okay. He's burying the hard drive.

My God, you're killing it! Well done.

Wait, wait, look out.

-Okay, he's gone. Let's go. -Okay.

Did you guys find it?

17 SECONDS BEFORE THE KISS

-You okay? -Yeah. I'm okay.

-Shit, I was worried. -Yeah, me too.

-Okay. Ready? -Okay.

-Are they coming or not? -Hold on.

There, look.

Okay.

-That was good. -Yeah.

Yeah, it was good. It, um… It looked real, right?

-Right, yeah. -Yeah.

But… But were you just pretending?

-Uh, uh… -I've got something to show you.

-Let's go, it's happening. -Yeah.

NOW

I don't know what the hell this is.

Anyway, if you think you know David and his friends, you don't!

They're thieves!

They're fucking thieves! They stole 17 million!

Game over.

Hey, Paul.

That was a pretty nice surprise, huh?

Laugh all you want.

Meanwhile, I'll be having a fucking blast with your money.

And you… I promise I'll think of your stupid face with every euro I spend.

Oh yeah?

Well, you won't be thinking of me very often.

What?

Did you even look at what you signed?

And he signed it!

Yes! You're the best!

Move! Move! Victoire!

Victoire! Victoire! Victoire!

Wait, don't do that!

Nobody pick her up. Don't pick up Victoire!

Hey you are badass, Victoire!

-Nah, no way. -That's cool, this is great, but…

I'm not sure I get this paperwork thing, so if you don't mind explaining…

It's pretty straightforward.

That asshole thought what he was signing for was 50% of the company.

Except he didn't realize he wasn't signing for 50%.

It was 50 shares.

But that's a lot, though.

It's not, sweetie.

There are 10,000 shares.

So 50 shares make, what, uh, 8,000?

-Whoa. -Wow!

Pretty good score for a piece of shit like him, right?

-You're gonna regret this, you hear me? -Hey, hey, hey, that's enough. Back off.

You lost, okay?

Now get out of here.

Yeah, and don't even think about messing with us again.

You know I just did all this for you, Samia.

Enough. You're being pathetic.

David! David! David!

Maybe I've got a little surprise of my own.

Make some noise for the DJ!

Okay, okay, okay, are you ready, my lovely people?

-Make some noise! -Yeah, yeah, yeah, brother!

Thanks, everyone. Thank you for coming. Means the world to me. Thank you so much.

If you're here tonight, that means I love you.

And if you love me,

then you probably know that my passion, my great passion in life is music.

So tonight, I'd like to present a new artist

who's gonna blow your minds.

His UFO crashed on Mars.

And you're getting it here first,

his debut single.

We've been working on this for weeks on the down-low.

-I hope you're ready for this. -Yeah!

DJ Bounce, hit it.

Roll out the toilet paper Shit's about to get wild

I'm gonna take the day off every day

And enjoy my moolah

No more construction work for me

I'm gonna suck on the breast of joy

No disputes

Only accounts in Switzerland

Motherfucker, I'm going double cheese On triple cheese

Vacation in Marbella

With Victoire, my bella

I'm moving in with Margiela With my team of pretty boys

You're my gem, my friend

The sixth lottery number

This is my declaration of love, habiba

I smoked a joint and took flight

I wanted loads of cash

Still dreaming of buying Fonfon

Oh, yeah, yeah I'm Fonfon

Oh, yeah, yeah

Make some fucking noise!

…and took flight

I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck!

Still dreaming of buying Fonfon

Oh, yeah, yeah I'm Fonfon

Oh, yeah, yeah

Bingo.

Live as a young millionaire

-I'm king of the world! -Die old and broke

Straight out of the dealership

And I already scratched the car

THC in my brain

I think my cock is dirty

Move over, it's nasty

Move over, it's nasty Nasty

I've got my bison-skin parka

I think Tiki-Taka sucks

My belly is full of money

I need more for the concert

To poverty, baby We say bye-bye

My baby, oh my

I smoked a joint and took flight

I wanted loads of cash

Still dreaming of buying Fonfon

Oh, yeah, yeah I'm Fonfon

Oh, yeah, yeah

-Found another bottle. -Oh, Bombay Sapphire! Nice.

Stop, stop. Stop it, Tom.

-Okay, I won't. -Can you believe it?

Guys, we've got the money. We did it!

It is amazing.

Seriously, what an awesome night.

Yeah, it was crazy.

At one point, I found Karim throwing up and shitting at the same time.

Thanks for that, Tom.

Apart from Karim's explosive butt saga, uh, what's the latest drama?

-Huh? Any gossip? -Not really, no.

No, no. Nothing. Uh, nothing much, right?

Nothing at all? Nothing to talk about?

Nothing here. No news on my end.

Shit.

Oh yeah. We made love in a tree at one point.

-Oh! -Cool.

Yeah. Pretty wild.

-I had splinters on my balls, dude. -Tom!

Yeah, okay. Thanks. We get the picture.

Oh, right. Uh… So, David, did you any get nice gifts?

Uh…

No. Nothing crazy, y'know?

Really? Are you sure?

Yeah.

Then what's that over there? I mean…

For real?

Oh my God, a puppy? Seriously?

Look at that.

Oh, wow, hello!

Happy birthday, my friend!

-Oh, wow! -Mazel tov, brother!

-Aw! -Oh my God, thanks!

This is amazing.

Yeah! Happy birthday, dude!

-I think we should-- -I will never abandon you. Okay?

Oh, oh wait. David! You should name him Pivot.

How about that? There they fucking are.

Way to mess up the timing.

I forgot about 'em. She sets them for 7 a.m.? Fucking idiot.

Hey, you know what, David?

It's not a problem. The timing was perfect.

It's not a problem? That's a lot of pollution.

-Plus, it scares the birds. -Léo!

Guys, it's the hospital.

So, you're, uh, finally awake.

Yeah.

Well, uh… We brought you some chouquettes.

They smell nice.

Nope. Forget about it.

His brain's just toast. Nobody in the cockpit, right?

Hmm.

But, come on, look on the bright side.

I don't think you need to bother giving him the money you owe, right?

-Whoa. Who touched what? -Whoa.

Oh, wow.

-Um… -Crazy!

Call an exorcist, right?

Boo!

You should've seen your faces.

Ha! Thought I was a vegetable, right? But no. I'm all recovered.

I'm out of the coma, I'm back.

Um, well, we're…

We're really happy to see you again, for sure.

I'm happy to see you too.

You know, I still remember our little arrangement.

-Yeah, right… -Oh, right, well, speaking of…

But now you actually owe me two million.

Two million? Uh… One million.

Hey, hey, hey. Let's just call it three months' coma interest.

I'm sorry to interrupt you, sir.

But, uh, Vicky and I… We're heading out, because, I mean…

-We're not into negotiating, -No.

To be honest.

-Yeah. -Go ahead. Of course.

Please do, go on ahead.

-Bye. -Either way, there's nothing to negotiate.

Two million means two million, right?

There you go.

-Jess, what are you doing? -Yeah, coming.

I was just sending a selfie to Pacôme.

-Oh, sending a selfie to Pacôme! -She's in love.

Aw, so cute.

Oh, my goodness! You're so sweet, my little Mozzie!

-I love you! -Aw, he's so cute!

Hey, guys. Now that the drama's over, what do we do with our winnings?

Well, I propose we take a nice nap, and then we come up with a business plan.

-Oh yeah? I'm down, yeah. Yeah. -Mm-hmm.

And by the way, I've got an idea already.

-What is it? -What idea?

Ahh… No. You're not ready.

-Yes we are! -Come on! Tell us what it is!

Do we tell them, little guy?

Think we should tell them, little man?

Not yet, am I right? Not yet!

Go on!

David! Tell us already!

You suck!