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1
00:00:13,713 --> 00:00:16,516
[metal grinder buzzing]
2
00:00:22,188 --> 00:00:24,457
- Oh, yeah.
You're ready to murder.
3
00:00:27,660 --> 00:00:29,062
[knocks]
4
00:00:40,073 --> 00:00:41,041
[ratchet clicking]
- Come on, dammit.
5
00:00:41,141 --> 00:00:42,809
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
6
00:00:42,909 --> 00:00:44,377
- [Axel]
Stress wrenching, huh?
7
00:00:44,477 --> 00:00:46,146
I figured you was
over here wrenching
8
00:00:46,246 --> 00:00:48,014
because of your
fine-ass sister,
9
00:00:48,114 --> 00:00:49,983
which I get.
10
00:00:50,083 --> 00:00:52,852
But now that I see
your sorry-ass face,
11
00:00:52,952 --> 00:00:54,988
it ain't all grief.
12
00:00:55,088 --> 00:00:56,156
You lookin' guilty
as a motherfucker.
13
00:00:56,256 --> 00:00:58,124
- Whoa, whoa, whoa,
all right?
14
00:00:58,224 --> 00:01:00,026
I did something
behind Quiet's back.
15
00:01:00,126 --> 00:01:02,095
- So?
- So?
16
00:01:02,195 --> 00:01:03,263
I don't know what
I'm gonna do about it, man.
17
00:01:03,363 --> 00:01:05,532
I never lied to her before.
- Hold up.
18
00:01:05,632 --> 00:01:07,867
You saying you never lied
to your girl before?
19
00:01:07,967 --> 00:01:09,803
- No.
20
00:01:09,903 --> 00:01:11,404
Hey!
What you doing, man?
21
00:01:11,504 --> 00:01:12,972
- Just checking to see
if your bitch ass
22
00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:15,241
got any nuts down there.
23
00:01:15,342 --> 00:01:16,843
- [John Doe] You're going
to get your answer
24
00:01:16,943 --> 00:01:18,778
when I smoke
your rusty ass.
25
00:01:18,878 --> 00:01:20,413
[belches]
26
00:01:20,513 --> 00:01:22,716
- You make a run at me,
I will end you.
27
00:01:22,816 --> 00:01:26,486
Coroner gonna list your cause
of death as everything.
28
00:01:26,586 --> 00:01:27,487
Feel me?
29
00:01:27,587 --> 00:01:28,221
- Mm-hmm.
30
00:01:33,593 --> 00:01:34,561
- Mine.
31
00:01:37,964 --> 00:01:39,699
- Heh,
good morning, Quiet.
32
00:01:39,799 --> 00:01:41,267
- Sorry, I slept in.
33
00:01:41,368 --> 00:01:42,736
I forgot how good
a pillow feels.
34
00:01:42,836 --> 00:01:44,137
Is that our gun?
35
00:01:44,237 --> 00:01:46,706
- Ah, don't worry about it.
We'll get another one.
36
00:01:46,806 --> 00:01:48,408
Roadkill was begging
for some upgrades,
37
00:01:48,508 --> 00:01:50,310
so I figured
I'd just jump on it.
38
00:01:50,410 --> 00:01:52,879
- You're in a very good mood.
It's weird.
39
00:01:52,979 --> 00:01:54,314
- I'm just excited
to get out there
40
00:01:54,414 --> 00:01:57,584
and show these losers
what Quohn can do.
41
00:01:57,684 --> 00:02:00,186
It's Quiet and John.
42
00:02:00,286 --> 00:02:03,056
- No, I will not be
participating in Quohn.
43
00:02:03,156 --> 00:02:05,558
- Th-th-that's fine.
Quohn's in the rearview.
44
00:02:05,658 --> 00:02:06,593
Fuck Quohn!
45
00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:12,132
Roadkill
is ready to go.
46
00:02:12,232 --> 00:02:14,000
The last thing
we need to figure out
47
00:02:14,100 --> 00:02:15,735
is the boomerang blast.
48
00:02:15,835 --> 00:02:17,037
Now do we mount it,
49
00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:19,706
or do we keep it in the back
for emergencies?
50
00:02:19,806 --> 00:02:21,441
- [both] Back.
51
00:02:21,541 --> 00:02:24,310
[scraping]
52
00:02:27,180 --> 00:02:29,149
- It's going to be
very hard to kill someone
53
00:02:29,249 --> 00:02:30,550
with a gun that heavy.
54
00:02:30,650 --> 00:02:32,919
- I'll have you know,
I've killed tons of people
55
00:02:33,019 --> 00:02:34,921
with a gun
just like this,
56
00:02:35,021 --> 00:02:36,322
dozens of dudes.
57
00:02:36,423 --> 00:02:38,525
I'm a frickin'
murder slut.
58
00:02:38,625 --> 00:02:39,325
[scoffs]
59
00:02:41,561 --> 00:02:42,462
[scraping]
60
00:02:42,562 --> 00:02:44,230
- [John Doe]
So should we, uh--
61
00:02:44,330 --> 00:02:46,399
- No, no, she's not
our responsibility.
62
00:02:46,499 --> 00:02:48,301
We just have to focus
on the mission.
63
00:02:48,401 --> 00:02:50,603
- Right, the mission.
64
00:02:56,443 --> 00:02:58,378
- Damn, there are some
tight buttholes in here.
65
00:02:58,478 --> 00:03:00,380
- We will be killing
each other soon.
66
00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:03,049
- You're outsiders.
So what else is new?
67
00:03:03,149 --> 00:03:04,951
Hey, Stretch Armstrong.
68
00:03:05,051 --> 00:03:07,087
What's your
sicky little wishy?
69
00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:08,388
- Bitch, I ain't
telling you shit.
70
00:03:08,488 --> 00:03:10,256
What if it's
birthday cake rules?
71
00:03:10,357 --> 00:03:12,425
If I say my wish,
it won't come true.
72
00:03:12,525 --> 00:03:13,660
- Hmm.
73
00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:15,128
- [Deacon] We wish for
the same thing as all parents.
74
00:03:15,228 --> 00:03:16,796
For our child
to grow up happy, loved,
75
00:03:16,896 --> 00:03:17,997
and wanting for nothing.
76
00:03:18,098 --> 00:03:19,466
Nothing except
the end of this world
77
00:03:19,566 --> 00:03:21,901
and the rise of a new reality
formed from his image.
78
00:03:22,002 --> 00:03:22,969
- How about you?
79
00:03:23,069 --> 00:03:25,939
Let me guess.
A complexion?
80
00:03:26,039 --> 00:03:29,142
- I wish to feel warm again.
81
00:03:29,242 --> 00:03:30,677
- Well, you might if you
stop lugging around
82
00:03:30,777 --> 00:03:33,446
those massive fucking igloos.
Holy shit.
83
00:03:33,546 --> 00:03:35,315
- [Dave] You guys talking
about wishes? Overrated.
84
00:03:35,415 --> 00:03:36,449
I don't even want one.
You know why?
85
00:03:36,549 --> 00:03:38,251
'Cause I'm living
the fucking dream.
86
00:03:38,351 --> 00:03:39,719
I told my bestie over here,
and I was like,
87
00:03:39,819 --> 00:03:42,455
I don't want the pressure.
You make the wish.
88
00:03:42,555 --> 00:03:45,125
I don't want to be
on the hook for it.
89
00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:47,260
- And my wish--
- Guess what I wished for!
90
00:03:47,360 --> 00:03:50,296
I wished to exterminate
humanity,
91
00:03:50,397 --> 00:03:52,465
let somebody else
take over for once.
92
00:03:52,565 --> 00:03:54,601
- Now you see the shit
I gotta put up with?
93
00:03:54,701 --> 00:03:57,404
This freak got me smelling
like Raid cologne.
94
00:03:57,504 --> 00:04:00,140
- I wished for
the ability to fly.
95
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:02,308
Pretty sick, right?
[chuckles]
96
00:04:02,409 --> 00:04:05,345
I was going to wish
for a girthy ten-incher,
97
00:04:05,445 --> 00:04:08,548
but, you know, I've never
had any complaints.
98
00:04:08,648 --> 00:04:10,016
- I find that
hard to believe.
99
00:04:10,116 --> 00:04:11,451
- So what did you
wish for then?
100
00:04:11,551 --> 00:04:15,288
- [Raven] Oh, yes,
I'm dying to know.
101
00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:21,027
- To bring down
the city walls.
102
00:04:21,127 --> 00:04:22,829
- Which walls?
- Of which cities?
103
00:04:22,929 --> 00:04:23,830
- All of them.
104
00:04:23,930 --> 00:04:26,833
When we win, all the walls
will come down.
105
00:04:28,902 --> 00:04:31,604
- Damn. You're making us all
look bad over here.
106
00:04:31,705 --> 00:04:33,373
- We just think
insiders and outsiders
107
00:04:33,473 --> 00:04:35,342
should finally be on
an even playing field.
108
00:04:35,442 --> 00:04:37,010
- Yeah. It's time for
the outsiders
109
00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:38,311
to get their fair share.
110
00:04:38,411 --> 00:04:40,280
- I knew you two
were stupid,
111
00:04:40,380 --> 00:04:42,082
but I didn't realize
you were naive.
112
00:04:42,182 --> 00:04:44,584
It'd be cute
if it weren't so sad.
113
00:04:44,684 --> 00:04:46,319
- It's not naive to fight
for a better world.
114
00:04:46,419 --> 00:04:47,487
- [Raven]
Oh, listen to yourself.
115
00:04:47,587 --> 00:04:49,189
Do you think you're
some kind of superhero?
116
00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:51,057
Not with that
greasy hair.
117
00:04:51,157 --> 00:04:53,393
- O-kay, I think
you look great.
118
00:04:53,493 --> 00:04:56,196
And that's not objectifying.
I'm just supporting.
119
00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:59,399
- People need walls.
It simplifies things.
120
00:04:59,499 --> 00:05:02,502
You're either one or the other,
inside or out.
121
00:05:02,602 --> 00:05:04,270
- [Mayhem]
Look, all of your wishes
122
00:05:04,371 --> 00:05:06,072
are fucking stupid,
okay?
123
00:05:06,172 --> 00:05:07,807
Me, I'm gonna be
invincible.
124
00:05:07,907 --> 00:05:10,377
[laughing]
125
00:05:10,477 --> 00:05:14,748
- Ooh, widdle baby
wants to be invincible?
126
00:05:14,848 --> 00:05:17,951
Hey, hey, why don't you
wish for a diaper,
127
00:05:18,051 --> 00:05:20,286
so you don't shit yourself
and run away?
128
00:05:20,387 --> 00:05:22,022
- Hey, we got plenty of diapers
if you need 'em.
129
00:05:22,122 --> 00:05:22,889
- Fuck off!
130
00:05:22,989 --> 00:05:24,324
- Welcome!
131
00:05:24,424 --> 00:05:27,227
To the much anticipated
first round
132
00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:30,630
of the Twisted Metal
tournament.
133
00:05:30,730 --> 00:05:34,267
12 cars will enter
my labyrinth,
134
00:05:34,367 --> 00:05:37,037
but alas, there are
only eight exit passes
135
00:05:37,137 --> 00:05:38,805
hidden throughout.
136
00:05:38,905 --> 00:05:40,407
Be sure to snag one,
137
00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:43,109
because if you attempt
to leave the area without it,
138
00:05:43,209 --> 00:05:45,645
well, you'll be
killed instantly.
139
00:05:45,745 --> 00:05:50,817
This is warehouse
district warfare.
140
00:05:54,220 --> 00:05:55,255
You'll know where
a pass is hidden
141
00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:57,557
by the pillars
of red smoke.
142
00:05:57,657 --> 00:06:00,360
All except for you,
John and Quiet.
143
00:06:00,460 --> 00:06:04,130
You two finished last
in my qualifier,
144
00:06:04,230 --> 00:06:06,466
so I decided
to spice things up a bit
145
00:06:06,566 --> 00:06:08,401
and give you two
a small advantage
146
00:06:08,501 --> 00:06:10,904
for today's
bloody festivities.
147
00:06:11,004 --> 00:06:13,440
This is a radar
148
00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:17,444
displaying the precise location
of all eight passes.
149
00:06:17,544 --> 00:06:20,980
[overlapping grumbling]
- Cheaters!
150
00:06:21,081 --> 00:06:22,315
- And that's not all.
151
00:06:22,415 --> 00:06:25,151
You'll also be getting
a one minute head start.
152
00:06:25,251 --> 00:06:27,520
[clapping]
- This is bullshit!
153
00:06:29,522 --> 00:06:31,858
- Do you have a problem
154
00:06:31,958 --> 00:06:34,794
with the way
I'm running my game, Raven?
155
00:06:39,032 --> 00:06:40,133
Good.
156
00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:42,769
I hope you and your vehicles
are ready, my drivers,
157
00:06:42,869 --> 00:06:47,707
because it's time
for the tournament to begin!
158
00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:58,251
**
159
00:06:58,351 --> 00:07:01,454
[engine revving]
160
00:07:03,223 --> 00:07:05,458
[engine revving]
161
00:07:08,962 --> 00:07:11,097
[engine revving]
162
00:07:11,197 --> 00:07:23,643
**
163
00:07:23,743 --> 00:07:25,545
- So, what do you think,
it's like a compass,
164
00:07:25,645 --> 00:07:27,247
one of those
arrow things?
165
00:07:27,347 --> 00:07:28,648
Yo, maybe it's a line
166
00:07:28,748 --> 00:07:31,151
that shows you
what road to drive down.
167
00:07:31,251 --> 00:07:32,452
That'll be sick!
168
00:07:32,552 --> 00:07:33,753
- Whatever it is,
I don't think it's worth
169
00:07:33,853 --> 00:07:35,321
the target
you put on our backs.
170
00:07:35,422 --> 00:07:36,790
- Come on.
Giving us an advantage
171
00:07:36,890 --> 00:07:39,459
is like giving a lion
a submachine gun.
172
00:07:39,559 --> 00:07:41,528
We're going to crush
this round.
173
00:07:41,628 --> 00:07:43,063
And the next round
we're going to destroy,
174
00:07:43,163 --> 00:07:43,863
and the round
after that
175
00:07:43,963 --> 00:07:46,032
better kiss
its sorry ass goodbye.
176
00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:48,702
- Okay, well, let's just focus
on this round first.
177
00:07:48,802 --> 00:07:49,502
- Focus?
178
00:07:56,643 --> 00:07:59,279
- [Quiet] I thought
she should come with us.
179
00:07:59,379 --> 00:08:01,247
[echoing]
To remind us of the mission.
180
00:08:01,348 --> 00:08:03,483
She would want
to be here.
181
00:08:03,583 --> 00:08:05,085
[beeping]
Here we go.
182
00:08:05,185 --> 00:08:06,920
[engine starts and revs]
183
00:08:07,020 --> 00:08:10,557
- [Calypso] Roadkill,
your one minute begins now!
184
00:08:10,657 --> 00:08:11,524
- Let's tear this shit up.
185
00:08:11,624 --> 00:08:14,260
[tires squealing,
engine revving]
186
00:08:14,361 --> 00:08:15,328
Okay.
187
00:08:15,428 --> 00:08:17,797
Looks like
the closest pass is east.
188
00:08:20,367 --> 00:08:22,235
Turn right here.
189
00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:23,269
- [JOHN DOE] Got it.
190
00:08:23,370 --> 00:08:24,471
[beeping]
191
00:08:24,571 --> 00:08:26,239
- Dude, turn!
- Got it!
192
00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:28,074
- [Quiet]
Not left, right!
193
00:08:28,174 --> 00:08:30,543
[tires squealing]
194
00:08:30,643 --> 00:08:33,013
Shit, John.
Take the next left.
195
00:08:33,113 --> 00:08:33,813
- Got it.
196
00:08:38,485 --> 00:08:39,352
- [Quiet] John!
197
00:08:39,452 --> 00:08:43,189
[brakes squealing]
198
00:08:43,289 --> 00:08:44,791
[panting]
199
00:08:44,891 --> 00:08:46,393
John, you good?
- [John Doe] Yeah.
200
00:08:46,493 --> 00:08:47,594
I have a great idea.
201
00:08:47,694 --> 00:08:49,396
How about you drive
and I do the map thing?
202
00:08:49,496 --> 00:08:51,631
- But I drove last time.
- I know, but, uh,
203
00:08:51,731 --> 00:08:54,467
this is really important,
and I really love maps.
204
00:08:54,567 --> 00:08:55,935
- All right.
- Okay.
205
00:08:56,036 --> 00:09:00,140
- Ow. Jeez, ow! Oh, fuck.
What the fuck, John?
206
00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:01,741
- My bad.
[groaning]
207
00:09:04,911 --> 00:09:06,146
- Jesus.
208
00:09:06,246 --> 00:09:08,114
[tires squealing]
209
00:09:10,083 --> 00:09:11,651
We can't blow
this head start.
210
00:09:19,626 --> 00:09:21,061
- Stand down, Stu.
211
00:09:21,161 --> 00:09:23,463
- Oh, good, 'cause we're
running out of this stuff.
212
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:24,864
- No, this isn't
about conservation.
213
00:09:24,964 --> 00:09:26,933
Yesterday,
I really lost my cool.
214
00:09:27,033 --> 00:09:30,337
But you've inspired me
to not hold grudges.
215
00:09:30,437 --> 00:09:32,372
- So you don't hate
Grimm anymore?
216
00:09:32,472 --> 00:09:33,907
- Oh, no. I want
to rip out his spine,
217
00:09:34,007 --> 00:09:35,909
but that does nothing
for my legacy.
218
00:09:36,009 --> 00:09:38,678
History remembers
the winner, Stuart.
219
00:09:38,778 --> 00:09:41,815
And much like the one-eyed
Admiral Horatio Nelson,
220
00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:43,850
I've got my eye
on the prize.
221
00:09:43,950 --> 00:09:45,485
- Yeah, well, we could
all live our lives
222
00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:47,087
a little more
like Horatio Nelson.
223
00:09:51,524 --> 00:09:53,026
- [John Doe]
Make a left, I think.
224
00:09:53,126 --> 00:09:56,062
[tires squealing]
225
00:09:56,162 --> 00:09:57,497
[beeping]
Oh, shit!
226
00:09:57,597 --> 00:09:58,665
You should have
went right.
227
00:09:58,765 --> 00:10:00,734
- Jesus, John,
we have the advantage.
228
00:10:00,834 --> 00:10:01,968
Get it together.
229
00:10:02,068 --> 00:10:03,503
- [John Doe] I'm sorry.
There's so many triangles.
230
00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:06,106
[loud booming]
231
00:10:06,206 --> 00:10:07,040
What was that?
232
00:10:07,140 --> 00:10:08,208
[booming]
233
00:10:08,308 --> 00:10:09,776
- [Quiet]
Our minute's up.
234
00:10:09,876 --> 00:10:11,811
There goes
our head start.
235
00:10:15,915 --> 00:10:18,351
[Mayhem muttering]
- Don't fuck me now!
236
00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:21,554
[tires squealing]
[gunfire]
237
00:10:21,654 --> 00:10:23,790
- Outta my way, kids!
238
00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:27,827
[tires squealing]
239
00:10:29,362 --> 00:10:30,497
Beep, beep!
240
00:10:30,597 --> 00:10:32,165
Axel coming through!
241
00:10:38,505 --> 00:10:39,939
[Mayhem screaming]
[gunfire]
242
00:10:42,342 --> 00:10:43,943
[tires squealing]
243
00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:49,916
- Yes.
- Thank god.
244
00:10:50,016 --> 00:10:53,453
**
245
00:10:53,553 --> 00:10:54,988
[brakes squealing]
246
00:11:01,761 --> 00:11:03,596
Oh! Whose hand
is that?
247
00:11:03,697 --> 00:11:04,698
- Who cares?
Let's just get the pass
248
00:11:04,798 --> 00:11:05,832
and get out of here.
- Relax.
249
00:11:05,932 --> 00:11:06,900
Look, even with
the radar,
250
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:08,134
it took us a while
to find this place.
251
00:11:08,234 --> 00:11:09,402
So it's going to take
the others just as--
252
00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:10,136
- [Deacon]
Hey, there!
253
00:11:11,738 --> 00:11:12,939
[baby cooing]
254
00:11:13,039 --> 00:11:15,775
Four of us going after one
hot ticket?
255
00:11:15,875 --> 00:11:18,511
Reminds me of the blow bang
Where I met Brenjamin.
256
00:11:18,611 --> 00:11:20,914
[popping]
My jaw still clicks.
257
00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:23,450
- Well, looks like
we're having a party.
258
00:11:23,550 --> 00:11:26,119
And what's a party
without a clown?
259
00:11:26,219 --> 00:11:27,520
- Two clowns!
260
00:11:27,620 --> 00:11:28,888
[Raven laughing]
261
00:11:28,988 --> 00:11:30,990
- Keep your hands
off the hand, you weirdo.
262
00:11:31,091 --> 00:11:33,326
It's mine!
263
00:11:33,426 --> 00:11:36,463
[Outkast's "B.O.B."
playing]
264
00:11:36,563 --> 00:11:39,599
* One two
one two three yeah *
265
00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:41,167
* Inslumnational
underground *
266
00:11:41,267 --> 00:11:42,569
* Thunder pounds
when I stomp the ground *
267
00:11:42,669 --> 00:11:44,838
* Like a million elephants
or silverback orangutans *
268
00:11:44,938 --> 00:11:45,972
* You can't stop a train *
269
00:11:46,072 --> 00:11:47,640
* Who wants some
don't come unprepared *
270
00:11:47,741 --> 00:11:48,508
* I'll be there
but when I leave there *
271
00:11:48,608 --> 00:11:50,076
No, no!
272
00:11:50,176 --> 00:11:51,478
* Weatherman telling us
it ain't gonna rain *
273
00:11:51,578 --> 00:11:53,646
* So now we sitting in
a drop top soaking wet *
274
00:11:53,747 --> 00:11:54,848
* In a silk suit
trying not to sweat *
275
00:11:54,948 --> 00:11:56,349
* Hit somersaults
without the net *
276
00:11:56,449 --> 00:11:58,318
* But this'll be the year
that we won't forget *
277
00:11:58,418 --> 00:12:00,320
- Fly, my little penguin!
278
00:12:00,420 --> 00:12:01,588
* Be what you wanna be *
279
00:12:01,688 --> 00:12:04,224
* Long as you know consequences
are given for living *
280
00:12:04,324 --> 00:12:05,291
- Stop him, Preacher!
281
00:12:09,396 --> 00:12:09,796
[cocks gun]
282
00:12:09,896 --> 00:12:11,331
- That baby's got a gun!
283
00:12:11,431 --> 00:12:13,333
[gunshot]
[yelps]
284
00:12:13,433 --> 00:12:14,100
[baby giggling]
285
00:12:15,602 --> 00:12:16,569
- [Quiet] Yes!
286
00:12:16,670 --> 00:12:18,038
Whoo! I got it!
287
00:12:18,138 --> 00:12:19,639
Go, go, go, go, go.
[laughing]
288
00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:20,707
- [Raven]
Get your hands off, bitch.
289
00:12:20,807 --> 00:12:22,308
I called dibs!
290
00:12:22,409 --> 00:12:23,243
[gunshots]
291
00:12:26,212 --> 00:12:28,248
- Come on, Stuart,
let's scoot out of--
292
00:12:28,348 --> 00:12:29,182
[yelps]
293
00:12:29,282 --> 00:12:31,451
[groaning]
294
00:12:31,551 --> 00:12:32,652
- Oh, man,
I messed up.
295
00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:34,754
- Nope, not gonna
dwell on this.
296
00:12:34,854 --> 00:12:36,856
There's still
a few passes left.
297
00:12:36,956 --> 00:12:39,092
- What is this ice
made of?
298
00:12:45,465 --> 00:12:46,332
[missile whooshing]
299
00:12:48,034 --> 00:12:49,302
- [Mayhem]
Who the fuck shot that?
300
00:12:52,305 --> 00:12:53,306
[screaming]
301
00:12:58,545 --> 00:13:01,147
[panting]
302
00:13:04,584 --> 00:13:06,319
Oh, yeah, baby!
303
00:13:06,419 --> 00:13:21,368
**
304
00:13:28,842 --> 00:13:30,810
[Chuckie laughing]
305
00:13:30,910 --> 00:13:32,679
- Oh...
[beeping]
306
00:13:32,779 --> 00:13:34,014
Looking for this?
307
00:13:34,114 --> 00:13:36,616
- Yeah.
And I'm gonna take it.
308
00:13:36,716 --> 00:13:38,752
[chuckles]
- I'd like to see you try.
309
00:13:38,852 --> 00:13:40,920
You know, I'm not afraid
to hit a girl.
310
00:13:41,021 --> 00:13:43,623
- Good. 'Cause I'm not afraid
to smash a pussy.
311
00:13:43,723 --> 00:13:45,625
[scoffs]
312
00:13:45,725 --> 00:13:47,260
[screams]
313
00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:48,962
[grunting]
314
00:13:49,062 --> 00:13:50,997
[yelps]
[pass clatters]
315
00:13:52,499 --> 00:13:55,368
[grunting]
316
00:13:55,468 --> 00:13:56,369
[laughs]
317
00:13:56,469 --> 00:13:58,138
[yelps]
318
00:13:58,238 --> 00:14:02,509
[grunting]
319
00:14:02,609 --> 00:14:03,376
[yelps]
320
00:14:03,476 --> 00:14:04,744
[panting]
321
00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:08,114
[laughs]
- You done yet?
322
00:14:08,214 --> 00:14:10,450
- No, just needed
a hand.
323
00:14:10,550 --> 00:14:11,451
[squelches]
324
00:14:11,551 --> 00:14:13,820
[grunts]
[teeth cracking]
325
00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:16,856
[snarls]
- Wait!
326
00:14:16,956 --> 00:14:19,225
[screaming]
[crashes]
327
00:14:22,062 --> 00:14:23,129
- Oh my God.
328
00:14:28,902 --> 00:14:32,706
Oh my God,
I fucking killed him.
329
00:14:32,806 --> 00:14:34,507
Oh my God.
330
00:14:34,607 --> 00:14:35,308
[yelps]
331
00:14:39,913 --> 00:14:42,716
- [Announcer]
Sixth pass has been secured.
332
00:14:42,816 --> 00:14:45,085
Two remain.
333
00:14:45,185 --> 00:14:47,087
- What the hell
happened to you!
334
00:14:47,187 --> 00:14:49,823
- It turns out Vermin
can really fight.
335
00:14:49,923 --> 00:14:51,591
I can't believe
the creepy crawler lady
336
00:14:51,691 --> 00:14:52,726
got the pass.
337
00:14:52,826 --> 00:14:54,994
Shit.
It was in my hand.
338
00:14:55,095 --> 00:14:58,198
[tires squealing,
engine revving]
339
00:15:00,867 --> 00:15:02,669
- Jesus, what the fuck
is going on today?
340
00:15:02,769 --> 00:15:04,070
- It's my fault.
I'm tilting.
341
00:15:04,170 --> 00:15:05,271
- What the hell
is tilting?
342
00:15:05,372 --> 00:15:07,674
- You make a few mistakes,
then you get in your head.
343
00:15:07,774 --> 00:15:09,109
- No more superstitious
bullshit.
344
00:15:09,209 --> 00:15:10,844
We're a team, right?
So we fix this.
345
00:15:10,944 --> 00:15:12,645
- [John Doe] You're right.
Hey, there are two more passes.
346
00:15:12,746 --> 00:15:13,947
One's a few blocks away.
347
00:15:14,047 --> 00:15:15,348
- All right,
I'm taking a shortcut.
348
00:15:15,448 --> 00:15:17,617
[tires squealing]
349
00:15:17,717 --> 00:15:19,486
[both screaming]
350
00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:21,187
Come on!
351
00:15:21,287 --> 00:15:23,857
Now your superstitious bullshit
is rubbing off on me.
352
00:15:23,957 --> 00:15:27,093
[tires squealing]
353
00:15:36,703 --> 00:15:37,771
- Fuck!
354
00:15:37,871 --> 00:15:39,806
[distant gunfire]
355
00:15:39,906 --> 00:15:41,541
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
356
00:15:44,778 --> 00:15:46,780
[keys jingling]
Yes!
357
00:15:46,880 --> 00:15:49,149
[car alarm chirps]
358
00:16:01,461 --> 00:16:02,328
[beeping]
359
00:16:02,429 --> 00:16:03,730
- [Quattro] Welcome back,
Chuckie Floop.
360
00:16:03,830 --> 00:16:05,131
- Holy shit,
who said that?
361
00:16:05,231 --> 00:16:06,900
- [Quattro]
New driver detected.
362
00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:08,301
Would you like me
to create a new profile?
363
00:16:08,401 --> 00:16:11,738
- Fuck! Fine,
start a new profile! Go.
364
00:16:11,838 --> 00:16:12,872
- [Quattro]
Acknowledged.
365
00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:14,274
New primary driver
accepted.
366
00:16:14,374 --> 00:16:15,141
Please state your name.
367
00:16:15,241 --> 00:16:17,944
- Fucking Mayhem.
Just come on!
368
00:16:18,044 --> 00:16:19,813
- [Quattro] Welcome aboard,
Fucking Mayhem.
369
00:16:19,913 --> 00:16:23,416
[engine revving]
370
00:16:28,221 --> 00:16:30,423
- Holy shit,
a car that talks, okay.
371
00:16:30,523 --> 00:16:31,791
God damn it.
372
00:16:31,891 --> 00:16:33,893
God, murder makes you
extra sweaty!
373
00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:36,129
- [Quattro] Initiating AC.
[blowing]
374
00:16:36,229 --> 00:16:38,598
- Ah, thanks!
375
00:16:38,698 --> 00:16:40,767
Okay, you can turn off!
376
00:16:40,867 --> 00:16:42,836
Turn off!
Turn the fuck off!
377
00:16:42,936 --> 00:16:43,603
- [Quattro]
Acknowledged.
378
00:16:45,271 --> 00:16:47,073
- All right,
you got a name?
379
00:16:47,173 --> 00:16:48,208
- [Quattro] My current
designation VIN
380
00:16:48,308 --> 00:16:51,111
is number 4, B as in Boy, 1,
Q as in quattro--
381
00:16:51,211 --> 00:16:53,213
- Yeah, Quattro's fine!
You got to move faster.
382
00:16:53,313 --> 00:16:56,383
- [Quattro]
Designation updated, Quattro.
383
00:17:02,288 --> 00:17:04,290
[groans]
Exterior damage sustained.
384
00:17:04,391 --> 00:17:06,326
Shall I initiate
autonomous navigation?
385
00:17:06,426 --> 00:17:07,260
- No, I don't need
your help.
386
00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:09,095
I just need
to get out of here.
387
00:17:10,930 --> 00:17:14,267
- [Quattro] Shall I initiate
autonomous navigation?
388
00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:16,136
- Fine! If you think
you're so good at driving,
389
00:17:16,236 --> 00:17:17,003
just do it!
390
00:17:17,103 --> 00:17:18,271
- [Quattro]
Acknowledged.
391
00:17:21,741 --> 00:17:22,976
[engine revving]
392
00:17:23,076 --> 00:17:24,277
- Oh, hell, yeah.
393
00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:39,259
**
394
00:17:43,863 --> 00:17:44,531
Keep it steady,
395
00:17:44,631 --> 00:17:46,199
and I'll smoke
all these losers.
396
00:17:49,836 --> 00:17:50,804
What?
397
00:17:50,904 --> 00:17:52,038
Wait, this is the end?
398
00:17:52,138 --> 00:17:53,673
How'd you do that?
399
00:17:53,773 --> 00:17:55,675
- [Quattro] Maps.
- Hmm.
400
00:17:58,545 --> 00:18:00,714
- Check it out, Stu.
We're about to win.
401
00:18:00,814 --> 00:18:02,382
And I didn't think
about Grimm even once,
402
00:18:02,482 --> 00:18:04,150
not even his
dinky little bike.
403
00:18:04,250 --> 00:18:05,852
I can still hear
it buzzing in my head.
404
00:18:05,952 --> 00:18:08,355
[engine revving]
405
00:18:17,497 --> 00:18:19,466
What the hell?!
- Oh, shit!
406
00:18:19,566 --> 00:18:20,700
[Mr. Grimm in British voice]
- Hello, chaps!
407
00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:22,969
[horn honks]
408
00:18:23,069 --> 00:18:25,171
[brakes squealing]
409
00:18:25,271 --> 00:18:27,807
[German voice]
Thanks for the lift, Marcus.
410
00:18:27,907 --> 00:18:28,942
- Son of a bitch.
411
00:18:29,042 --> 00:18:30,210
That's not in the spirit
of competition.
412
00:18:30,310 --> 00:18:32,545
I'm going to file
a complaint.
413
00:18:32,645 --> 00:18:34,047
Goddamn it!
414
00:18:34,147 --> 00:18:36,016
If that son of a bitch
didn't get in our way
415
00:18:36,116 --> 00:18:37,550
we would've
come in first.
416
00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:42,889
- [Stu] They, um--
- No, Stu.
417
00:18:42,989 --> 00:18:44,157
No words.
418
00:18:46,493 --> 00:18:47,894
- Not trying to add
any pressure,
419
00:18:47,994 --> 00:18:49,896
but FYI,
there's one pass left.
420
00:18:49,996 --> 00:18:51,431
This is our last shot.
421
00:18:51,531 --> 00:18:53,066
- Fuck!
422
00:18:53,166 --> 00:18:57,070
Ah, shit! Those holy assholes
beat us to it.
423
00:18:57,170 --> 00:18:58,838
- It's almost time
for Preacher's ba-ba.
424
00:18:58,938 --> 00:19:01,341
[brakes squealing]
425
00:19:01,441 --> 00:19:03,710
And no one fucks
with ba-ba time!
426
00:19:03,810 --> 00:19:05,745
[gunshots]
427
00:19:10,150 --> 00:19:11,451
- I'm getting
that goddamned pass.
428
00:19:11,551 --> 00:19:12,285
Cover me.
429
00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:15,989
[gunfire]
430
00:19:16,089 --> 00:19:17,190
[door slams]
431
00:19:19,759 --> 00:19:21,361
[grunting]
432
00:19:25,198 --> 00:19:26,833
- You look mad.
- It's been a shit day.
433
00:19:26,933 --> 00:19:28,435
Give me that pass.
434
00:19:28,535 --> 00:19:29,536
[yelps]
435
00:19:30,837 --> 00:19:33,006
[clicking]
436
00:19:33,106 --> 00:19:34,607
- Shit!
437
00:19:39,646 --> 00:19:41,948
I really should have tested
this shit before now.
438
00:19:42,048 --> 00:19:44,851
[grunting]
439
00:19:44,951 --> 00:19:46,786
[yelps]
440
00:19:46,886 --> 00:19:47,921
- My milking titty.
441
00:19:48,021 --> 00:19:49,422
- Ew, it got on my hand!
442
00:19:53,159 --> 00:19:54,027
- Where the hell
did he go?
443
00:19:54,127 --> 00:19:55,495
[yelps]
444
00:19:55,595 --> 00:19:57,497
[grunting]
445
00:20:01,334 --> 00:20:02,502
- I got the pass!
[laughing]
446
00:20:02,602 --> 00:20:03,169
- Go, go!
447
00:20:03,269 --> 00:20:06,606
[tires squealing]
448
00:20:08,575 --> 00:20:10,477
[wincing]
449
00:20:10,577 --> 00:20:12,379
- [John Doe]
Quiet, we gotta go!
450
00:20:18,084 --> 00:20:19,953
- Go, go, go, go, go, go!
Fuck!
451
00:20:20,053 --> 00:20:22,288
John, this is it.
452
00:20:22,389 --> 00:20:23,656
If we don't get that pass,
it's over.
453
00:20:26,626 --> 00:20:27,994
[laughing and cheering]
454
00:20:28,094 --> 00:20:37,804
**
455
00:20:37,904 --> 00:20:38,805
- Shit, he's fast.
456
00:20:46,446 --> 00:20:49,115
- Preacher, we could really use
your guidance right now.
457
00:20:49,215 --> 00:20:50,817
- Kill them.
458
00:20:53,286 --> 00:20:55,822
- He is risen!
[laughing and cheering]
459
00:21:00,393 --> 00:21:03,830
I kill them in your name,
Preacher!
460
00:21:03,930 --> 00:21:04,831
- Oh my God.
461
00:21:08,802 --> 00:21:10,837
[sputtering]
462
00:21:10,937 --> 00:21:12,305
[whooshing]
463
00:21:14,607 --> 00:21:16,676
- Our father who art a baby,
hallowed be thy dick--
464
00:21:20,113 --> 00:21:21,915
[brakes squealing]
465
00:21:29,055 --> 00:21:31,458
- Huh, boomerang blast.
466
00:21:38,631 --> 00:21:43,203
*
467
00:21:43,303 --> 00:21:44,771
- Do you see the pass?
468
00:21:44,871 --> 00:21:46,439
- I hope he didn't
blow it up.
469
00:21:46,539 --> 00:21:48,375
[baby crying]
470
00:22:00,420 --> 00:22:04,991
[straining]
[giggling]
471
00:22:05,091 --> 00:22:06,760
- Just take it.
It's a baby.
472
00:22:06,860 --> 00:22:08,194
- I'm trying.
473
00:22:08,294 --> 00:22:10,330
He's fuckin' strong.
474
00:22:10,430 --> 00:22:12,732
Fuck you, Preacher!
475
00:22:12,832 --> 00:22:13,566
- John!
476
00:22:22,242 --> 00:22:26,913
[crying]
477
00:22:29,783 --> 00:22:30,984
[horn honks]
478
00:22:31,084 --> 00:22:32,819
- [Announcer]
Round over.
479
00:22:35,055 --> 00:22:36,556
[ratchet clicking]
480
00:22:38,658 --> 00:22:40,994
- No more unwanted
back door visitors.
481
00:22:41,094 --> 00:22:42,262
Seal her up.
482
00:22:42,362 --> 00:22:43,697
[torch hissing]
483
00:22:43,797 --> 00:22:45,098
- Are you sure you don't
want me to do it?
484
00:22:45,198 --> 00:22:47,300
I have thumbs
and hands.
485
00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:48,368
- Harold's got it.
486
00:22:48,468 --> 00:22:51,571
Stu, I've been
thinking.
487
00:22:51,671 --> 00:22:53,306
You know everything
I said before?
488
00:22:53,406 --> 00:22:55,008
Eh, forget it all.
489
00:22:55,108 --> 00:22:57,143
Grudges are back
on the menu.
490
00:22:57,243 --> 00:22:59,145
So are blood feuds
and vendettas.
491
00:22:59,245 --> 00:23:01,414
And when it comes
to killing,
492
00:23:01,514 --> 00:23:03,383
I just gotta
lead with my heart.
493
00:23:03,483 --> 00:23:04,951
You know?
- [Stu] Yeah.
494
00:23:05,051 --> 00:23:06,519
[metal clangs]
495
00:23:06,619 --> 00:23:08,088
- Oh, shit.
Harold dropped the torch.
496
00:23:08,188 --> 00:23:09,422
Don't pick it up.
It's hot!
497
00:23:11,925 --> 00:23:14,294
- [Mayhem] Damn.
498
00:23:14,394 --> 00:23:15,762
You really do
know how to drive.
499
00:23:15,862 --> 00:23:20,300
I hope that we can,
well, you know, if you're down,
500
00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:22,836
team up again
in the next round.
501
00:23:22,936 --> 00:23:24,938
- [Quattro] Saving
Fucking Mayhem presets.
502
00:23:25,038 --> 00:23:25,839
[beeping]
503
00:23:25,939 --> 00:23:28,608
Fucking Mayhem
presets saved.
504
00:23:30,710 --> 00:23:33,613
- Hey, Quattro,
could I, uh--
505
00:23:33,713 --> 00:23:36,216
could I maybe ask
for your advice?
506
00:23:36,316 --> 00:23:37,417
- [Quattro]
Interface battery at 10%.
507
00:23:37,517 --> 00:23:38,485
Entering sleep mode.
508
00:23:38,585 --> 00:23:40,453
- Yeah, okay.
Yeah.
509
00:23:42,989 --> 00:23:45,325
Thanks for saving my ass
out there, Quattro.
510
00:23:45,425 --> 00:23:46,793
- [Quattro]
Acknowledged.
511
00:23:46,893 --> 00:23:48,028
[beeps]
512
00:23:57,637 --> 00:24:00,340
- Is there a lost and found
for human children?
513
00:24:00,440 --> 00:24:03,109
- I'll take the baby.
514
00:24:03,209 --> 00:24:04,477
What?
515
00:24:04,577 --> 00:24:05,779
The child will be
safe with me.
516
00:24:05,879 --> 00:24:08,815
Unless you would prefer
to care for him.
517
00:24:08,915 --> 00:24:10,450
- No, no, you have--
- Abso-fucking-lutely not.
518
00:24:10,550 --> 00:24:11,418
- More square footage.
519
00:24:11,518 --> 00:24:12,819
- Oh, look at you.
520
00:24:12,919 --> 00:24:15,755
You'll want for nothing
with Daddy Calypso.
521
00:24:18,925 --> 00:24:21,895
Congratulations
on surviving the first round.
522
00:24:21,995 --> 00:24:23,363
Enjoy the moment.
523
00:24:23,463 --> 00:24:25,465
Things only get
harder from here.
524
00:24:25,565 --> 00:24:27,534
Now, if you'll excuse me,
525
00:24:27,634 --> 00:24:29,436
I've got this little animal
to delouse.
526
00:24:29,536 --> 00:24:32,405
[baby cooing]
527
00:24:32,505 --> 00:24:36,009
- So you guys didn't die?
528
00:24:36,109 --> 00:24:37,043
Good job.
529
00:24:37,143 --> 00:24:38,645
- Thanks. You too.
530
00:24:44,317 --> 00:24:45,819
- Guess I'll go clean up.
531
00:24:48,922 --> 00:24:49,622
- You good?
532
00:24:49,723 --> 00:24:53,093
You seem...
different.
533
00:24:53,193 --> 00:24:54,527
- I'm good.
534
00:24:56,496 --> 00:25:01,468
Um, I just...
535
00:25:01,568 --> 00:25:04,037
well, I-I killed
someone today.
536
00:25:08,508 --> 00:25:11,444
- Oh.
Was it your first?
537
00:25:11,544 --> 00:25:15,148
Oh, I just assumed--
- I had a big body count?
538
00:25:15,248 --> 00:25:17,484
No. I mean,
I've done, like,
539
00:25:17,584 --> 00:25:19,686
you know, hand stuff,
like stabbing and shit,
540
00:25:19,786 --> 00:25:23,089
but never went
all the way
541
00:25:23,189 --> 00:25:24,557
until today.
542
00:25:26,493 --> 00:25:29,329
- Wow. Okay, um, uh,
543
00:25:29,429 --> 00:25:31,031
tell me everything.
544
00:25:31,131 --> 00:25:31,865
Who was it?
545
00:25:36,202 --> 00:25:37,270
- Don't laugh.
546
00:25:37,370 --> 00:25:39,706
[sighs]
Chuckie Floop.
547
00:25:39,806 --> 00:25:42,509
And it was
kind of whatever.
548
00:25:42,609 --> 00:25:44,210
- Mm-hmm,
I'm not laughing.
549
00:25:44,310 --> 00:25:45,445
- I guess
I just thought
550
00:25:45,545 --> 00:25:49,649
that my first kill
would be,
551
00:25:49,749 --> 00:25:53,286
I don't know,
with someone special?
552
00:25:53,386 --> 00:25:54,754
- Ugh, no.
It's better this way.
553
00:25:54,854 --> 00:25:56,056
For your first
you want to kill someone
554
00:25:56,156 --> 00:25:56,923
you barely care about
555
00:25:57,023 --> 00:25:57,957
and then never think
about them again.
556
00:25:58,058 --> 00:25:59,859
You know, just get it
out of the way.
557
00:25:59,959 --> 00:26:03,463
- How old were you
when you had your first kill?
558
00:26:03,563 --> 00:26:06,800
- Well,
I was a late bloomer.
559
00:26:06,900 --> 00:26:10,203
There was this
blueberry picker in the O.C.
560
00:26:10,303 --> 00:26:11,338
that just kept
hassling me,
561
00:26:11,438 --> 00:26:12,739
so I got him
with my hatchet.
562
00:26:12,839 --> 00:26:14,908
Although he didn't die
right away,
563
00:26:15,008 --> 00:26:17,043
so I'm not sure
it officially counts.
564
00:26:17,143 --> 00:26:18,678
It was just the tip.
565
00:26:21,014 --> 00:26:23,016
[door opens]
566
00:26:23,116 --> 00:26:25,151
- How's the kid?
567
00:26:25,251 --> 00:26:29,022
- Uh, fine.
568
00:26:29,122 --> 00:26:31,825
John...
Ow.
569
00:26:31,925 --> 00:26:35,195
We can't afford
another day like this.
570
00:26:35,295 --> 00:26:37,063
This is life and death.
571
00:26:37,163 --> 00:26:40,033
- It was just a bad day.
I mean, shit happens.
572
00:26:40,133 --> 00:26:44,838
- Not like today.
I've never seen you like this.
573
00:26:44,938 --> 00:26:47,507
- Well, maybe the stress
of the round got to me.
574
00:26:47,607 --> 00:26:49,676
Like you said,
it is life or death.
575
00:26:49,776 --> 00:26:52,412
- But you were fine
in the qualifier,
576
00:26:52,512 --> 00:26:55,215
With missiles
falling from the sky.
577
00:26:57,217 --> 00:26:58,084
So what changed?
578
00:27:00,987 --> 00:27:01,821
John?
579
00:27:04,290 --> 00:27:05,658
What's going on?
580
00:27:10,363 --> 00:27:11,664
Is it us?
581
00:27:13,733 --> 00:27:15,402
Is it me?
- [John Doe] No.
582
00:27:15,502 --> 00:27:18,138
It's me.
583
00:27:18,238 --> 00:27:19,806
It's all me.
584
00:27:21,841 --> 00:27:24,344
I'm sorry.
- Sorry for what?
585
00:27:24,444 --> 00:27:26,279
- For today,
586
00:27:26,379 --> 00:27:27,514
for screwing up
the radar,
587
00:27:27,614 --> 00:27:28,848
for being so clumsy
588
00:27:28,948 --> 00:27:33,253
on the smoothest fucking ice
in the world,
589
00:27:33,353 --> 00:27:35,021
for coming
with you at all.
590
00:27:39,559 --> 00:27:41,094
I lied to you, Quiet.
591
00:27:47,500 --> 00:27:49,369
I made my own wish.
592
00:27:49,469 --> 00:27:56,176
**
37378
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