Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,400 --> 00:00:07,409
Hi, Mr. Mosby. I can't talk now. Working
on a very important hotel problem.
2
00:00:07,410 --> 00:00:08,610
I was just going to say hi.
3
00:00:08,611 --> 00:00:09,969
There's no time for that.
4
00:00:09,970 --> 00:00:13,749
You'll say hi, I'll say hi. You'll say,
how's it going? I'll say, fine. Then
5
00:00:13,750 --> 00:00:17,360
I'll feel compelled to ask you, how's it
going? Even though I don't care.
6
00:00:17,430 --> 00:00:21,410
Then suddenly I'm listening to you drone
on and on and on and on.
7
00:00:23,370 --> 00:00:25,910
Hey, Mom, can I have an advance on my
allowance?
8
00:00:26,270 --> 00:00:29,640
Another one? You've already gotten
advances through retirement.
9
00:00:29,970 --> 00:00:31,250
Okay, in that case...
10
00:00:31,550 --> 00:00:33,530
Can I have an advance on my inheritance?
11
00:00:35,030 --> 00:00:37,320
Oh, come on, you're not going to live
forever.
12
00:00:37,321 --> 00:00:40,109
Keep asking me for money and neither
will you.
13
00:00:40,110 --> 00:00:43,070
Well, please, it's for something really
important.
14
00:00:43,071 --> 00:00:44,129
What's that?
15
00:00:44,130 --> 00:00:45,690
An enchanted sorcerer wand.
16
00:00:46,450 --> 00:00:48,920
Oh, well, as long as it's not for
something silly.
17
00:00:49,730 --> 00:00:51,870
It's for this new online video game.
18
00:00:52,460 --> 00:00:56,559
Medieval Magic Quest, where you exist in
a computer -generated world and
19
00:00:56,560 --> 00:00:58,100
interact with virtual people.
20
00:00:58,420 --> 00:01:01,730
Oh, good. Then you can get your virtual
mother to give you the money.
21
00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:04,440
Please, Mom. This game is pure fun and
fantasy.
22
00:01:04,959 --> 00:01:06,009
There are no mothers.
23
00:01:07,820 --> 00:01:11,310
Fine. Maybe you can use your magic wand
to get Mr. Mosby to give me a raise.
24
00:01:11,900 --> 00:01:13,240
Oh, thanks, Mom.
25
00:01:13,600 --> 00:01:14,650
I'd love it.
26
00:01:15,400 --> 00:01:16,540
You already bought it?
27
00:01:16,600 --> 00:01:19,070
Yeah, I didn't want to wait, so I used
my own money.
28
00:01:19,850 --> 00:01:21,130
Now I can pay myself back.
29
00:01:22,750 --> 00:01:24,370
I think I have a virtual headache.
30
00:01:25,870 --> 00:01:26,970
No, no, it's real.
31
00:02:26,700 --> 00:02:27,750
I doubt that.
32
00:02:27,780 --> 00:02:31,659
The internet is a global network of
fiber optic backbones with fail -safe
33
00:02:31,660 --> 00:02:33,640
points and redundant router protocols.
34
00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:36,980
The internet's broken!
35
00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:41,540
All right, well, here, let me try ending
some system processes.
36
00:02:44,480 --> 00:02:46,320
There! You're back online.
37
00:02:46,760 --> 00:02:48,740
Were you trying to search for yourself?
38
00:03:01,290 --> 00:03:02,970
you can't, but everybody else can.
39
00:03:04,270 --> 00:03:06,770
London Tipton.
40
00:03:08,550 --> 00:03:10,390
Wow. Over a million hits.
41
00:03:10,391 --> 00:03:13,949
Let's look at Portia to see how much
less popular she is than me.
42
00:03:13,950 --> 00:03:15,000
All right.
43
00:03:15,670 --> 00:03:17,390
Portia Tannenbaum.
44
00:03:19,830 --> 00:03:21,590
Wow. Five million hits.
45
00:03:22,210 --> 00:03:24,330
Gasp. How could she have more hits than
me?
46
00:03:24,690 --> 00:03:25,910
She has her own web show.
47
00:03:26,210 --> 00:03:27,260
A web show?
48
00:03:27,610 --> 00:03:29,190
She has her own web show?
49
00:03:31,820 --> 00:03:32,870
What's a web show?
50
00:03:33,920 --> 00:03:36,360
Take that, ogre. Take that, troll.
51
00:03:36,580 --> 00:03:37,630
Take that.
52
00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:40,850
Lamp.
53
00:03:40,891 --> 00:03:42,819
Hey, Zach.
54
00:03:42,820 --> 00:03:44,020
I'm back from the market.
55
00:03:44,180 --> 00:03:45,340
Ah, rations.
56
00:03:45,760 --> 00:03:47,420
Making me a sandwich, wench.
57
00:03:48,500 --> 00:03:49,550
Excuse me?
58
00:03:50,300 --> 00:03:51,350
Please?
59
00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:55,070
Seem to be enjoying this game more than
the math game I got you.
60
00:03:55,071 --> 00:03:56,339
Multiplication celebration.
61
00:03:56,340 --> 00:03:57,390
Easy as pie.
62
00:03:58,020 --> 00:03:59,240
Oh, that's not true.
63
00:04:03,760 --> 00:04:04,810
That sorcerer?
64
00:04:04,820 --> 00:04:07,560
That's me, Multak Firewind.
65
00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:11,780
I've joined an alliance with another
player who calls himself Jango
66
00:04:12,220 --> 00:04:13,360
He's a shadow knight.
67
00:04:14,140 --> 00:04:15,320
So many questions.
68
00:04:16,140 --> 00:04:18,610
I think I'll start with, what's a shadow
knight?
69
00:04:18,980 --> 00:04:20,620
Hello, a dark paladin.
70
00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:24,230
A warrior.
71
00:04:25,060 --> 00:04:26,500
Man, he's incredible.
72
00:04:38,280 --> 00:04:40,820
hold of reality and taketh it for a
ride, shall we?
73
00:04:42,180 --> 00:04:45,070
Enough with the game. You need some
fresh air and sunlight.
74
00:04:45,360 --> 00:04:46,860
Yeah, Mom, I get plenty of that.
75
00:04:47,160 --> 00:04:49,680
Ah! Close it! Close it! It burns!
76
00:04:55,640 --> 00:04:59,999
Okay. Everything is set up for your web
show. Now, I'm going to count backwards
77
00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:03,010
from five. You don't have to show off.
You already have the job.
78
00:05:40,080 --> 00:05:41,400
me bedroom, where me sleep.
79
00:05:43,940 --> 00:05:48,179
Later, my special guest will be the man
responsible for Portia Tenenbaum's last
80
00:05:48,180 --> 00:05:51,240
three nose jobs, Dr. Fred Zippinpickle.
81
00:05:51,580 --> 00:05:53,690
Hi, London. I'm really glad...
Zippinpickle.
82
00:05:57,160 --> 00:06:00,120
Dr. Z is going to show us how to pick
your nose.
83
00:06:01,920 --> 00:06:02,970
Boy.
84
00:06:04,360 --> 00:06:07,260
But first, let's hear our theme song.
85
00:06:57,870 --> 00:06:58,920
Just anyone.
86
00:07:27,320 --> 00:07:29,430
Thank you, unless you're wearing a
skirt.
87
00:07:30,060 --> 00:07:31,960
No, I am not wearing a skirt.
88
00:07:33,300 --> 00:07:35,420
Not even for money. I can't be bought.
89
00:07:37,700 --> 00:07:38,900
But I can be rented.
90
00:07:45,260 --> 00:07:47,260
Honey, are you still playing that game?
91
00:07:47,480 --> 00:07:48,920
You need to get some exercise.
92
00:07:49,020 --> 00:07:51,680
Oh, I am. Feel the muscle on my one arm.
93
00:07:52,900 --> 00:07:55,910
I mean, this one, this one just kind of
dangles, but this one...
94
00:07:56,941 --> 00:08:00,899
Fighting monsters is quite the workout.
95
00:08:00,900 --> 00:08:04,840
This game is more than just fighting
monsters.
96
00:08:05,420 --> 00:08:09,739
As Multac, I'm learning valuable skills
like blacksmithing, alchemy, and jewel
97
00:08:09,740 --> 00:08:10,790
enchanting.
98
00:08:13,300 --> 00:08:15,100
Honey, I want you off this computer.
99
00:08:16,400 --> 00:08:17,840
Right, hold that thought.
100
00:08:17,841 --> 00:08:22,059
Jango was counting on me to guide him
through the plane of despair.
101
00:08:22,060 --> 00:08:24,579
Honey, there's always going to be a
reason to keep playing.
102
00:08:24,580 --> 00:08:25,980
I knew you'd understand.
103
00:08:28,840 --> 00:08:34,298
battling an ogre army headed by an evil
gorgon legend has it she could destroy a
104
00:08:34,299 --> 00:08:39,158
man with one deathly gaze honey i'm
concerned you're getting addicted to
105
00:08:39,159 --> 00:08:43,779
game oh please mom i could stop anytime
i want okay how about now i said anytime
106
00:08:43,780 --> 00:08:50,599
i want welcome to london tipton's yay me
starring
107
00:08:50,600 --> 00:08:54,440
london tipton with your host and star
london tipton
108
00:08:59,980 --> 00:09:01,100
to start here. Sorry.
109
00:09:03,220 --> 00:09:04,270
Here's London!
110
00:09:27,141 --> 00:09:32,749
making Yay Me the third most watched
show on the internet.
111
00:09:32,750 --> 00:09:36,090
Right behind Exploding Soda Can and
Monkey Performs Surgery.
112
00:09:38,430 --> 00:09:42,789
Okie dokie. My first guest today is
someone who's not as rich or as pretty
113
00:09:42,790 --> 00:09:45,850
am. Please welcome my good friend
Chelsea Brimmer.
114
00:09:46,130 --> 00:09:47,730
Chelsea! Yay! Chelsea!
115
00:09:47,970 --> 00:09:49,830
Yay! That's enough. It's just Chelsea.
116
00:09:51,910 --> 00:09:55,790
Thanks for having me on your show,
London. I understand you brought us a
117
00:09:55,970 --> 00:09:57,020
That's right.
118
00:09:58,670 --> 00:10:00,070
and shaped like a butterfly.
119
00:10:00,810 --> 00:10:04,240
Can I show everyone how hideous it looks
on that little blonde nerd?
120
00:10:05,310 --> 00:10:06,890
Hey! No.
121
00:10:07,210 --> 00:10:11,270
This little blonde nerd still has
blisters from those heels you made me
122
00:10:11,271 --> 00:10:13,769
Don't worry. We're not going to dress
you.
123
00:10:13,770 --> 00:10:17,350
Good. Today, we're talking about what
girls look for in a guy.
124
00:10:17,570 --> 00:10:19,550
Can I get a volunteer from the audience?
125
00:10:19,551 --> 00:10:20,669
Uh -oh.
126
00:10:20,670 --> 00:10:21,720
You, sir!
127
00:10:23,970 --> 00:10:26,270
London, I really don't want to do this.
Okay.
128
00:10:26,510 --> 00:10:30,630
Imagine I... Set you up on a blind date
with Cody. Ew, he's poor.
129
00:10:32,390 --> 00:10:33,750
I know, just pretend.
130
00:10:34,470 --> 00:10:36,970
Now, where would you take a girl on a
first date?
131
00:10:37,430 --> 00:10:40,710
Probably somewhere fun -ducational.
Like, like this aquarium.
132
00:10:41,030 --> 00:10:43,950
To picnic in the glow of the
phosphorescent lantern eye.
133
00:10:44,410 --> 00:10:45,460
Boring.
134
00:10:45,730 --> 00:10:48,490
Okay, where would you take a girl on a
second date?
135
00:10:49,370 --> 00:10:50,770
Well. Ha, trick question.
136
00:10:51,030 --> 00:10:54,940
You wouldn't get a second date because
you're nerdy, boring, and dress badly.
137
00:10:54,941 --> 00:10:58,099
I'm not going to stand here and be
insulted.
138
00:10:58,100 --> 00:11:00,870
Then sit down. Because we're about to
start makeup tips.
139
00:11:01,080 --> 00:11:02,130
Pucker up.
140
00:11:02,260 --> 00:11:04,120
I'm not the one to put lipstick on.
141
00:11:04,440 --> 00:11:06,300
Especially that trashy shade.
142
00:11:07,560 --> 00:11:10,180
I'm a producer, not a dress -up doll.
143
00:11:10,700 --> 00:11:14,659
Well, I don't need a producer. I need a
puckerer. Yeah, well, now you don't have
144
00:11:14,660 --> 00:11:17,160
a producer or a puckerer. Because I
quit.
145
00:11:17,380 --> 00:11:21,699
You can't quit. Oh, yeah? Then what do
you call me leaving and never coming
146
00:11:21,700 --> 00:11:23,810
back? This is no time for trick
questions.
147
00:11:40,080 --> 00:11:42,190
And you have a five o 'clock cheesy
shadow.
148
00:11:43,520 --> 00:11:45,200
You know what? That's it. Game over.
149
00:11:45,240 --> 00:11:49,300
No. Mom, no, no, no, no. Mom, you're
using up all my fire poop.
150
00:11:50,740 --> 00:11:51,790
Mom, no.
151
00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:55,060
Silence, Moltar. It's Moltak, the mighty
sorcerer.
152
00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:58,050
Moltar is good, too.
153
00:11:59,420 --> 00:12:04,319
Bed. No, no, no. Just five more minutes.
I can't abandon Django when he's
154
00:12:04,320 --> 00:12:08,980
surrounded by lizard demons. I am sure
Django's mommy wants him in bed, too.
155
00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:17,050
Walter? Walter?
156
00:12:18,100 --> 00:12:19,150
Where did you go?
157
00:12:21,060 --> 00:12:23,160
Oh! Holy hobgoblins!
158
00:12:23,640 --> 00:12:24,690
Lizard demons!
159
00:12:25,080 --> 00:12:26,130
Help!
160
00:12:26,131 --> 00:12:31,079
Don't touch me! Don't touch me! Don't
touch me! Don't touch me! Don't touch
161
00:12:31,080 --> 00:12:32,480
Don't touch me!
162
00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:39,760
Okay, it's been 12 hours since I
played...
163
00:12:39,761 --> 00:12:46,419
I'm talking to myself, but, you know, at
least I'm not thinking about Medieval
164
00:12:46,420 --> 00:12:47,470
Magic Quest.
165
00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:49,780
I can't believe London.
166
00:12:50,280 --> 00:12:54,040
You know, I do everything to get her
show off the ground and make her look
167
00:12:54,080 --> 00:12:56,140
and all she does is make me look bad.
168
00:12:56,920 --> 00:12:57,970
Oh, boo!
169
00:12:58,780 --> 00:13:00,620
You know what?
170
00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:05,380
You don't know what it's like to have
something you love taken away from you.
171
00:13:05,381 --> 00:13:06,499
Oh, yeah?
172
00:13:06,500 --> 00:13:08,720
Last week, you stole my biology
homework.
173
00:13:10,340 --> 00:13:12,510
I'm talking about something that
matters.
174
00:13:13,971 --> 00:13:16,019
It's just a game.
175
00:13:16,020 --> 00:13:17,860
Oh, dude, it's just a game.
176
00:13:18,100 --> 00:13:21,940
How do you know it's not real and all
this is just a game?
177
00:13:22,900 --> 00:13:25,160
Because I'm not from the planet Zoltar.
178
00:13:26,440 --> 00:13:27,760
Well, yeah, obviously.
179
00:13:28,140 --> 00:13:30,700
Everyone knows the Zoltarians are
amphibious.
180
00:13:31,940 --> 00:13:35,560
Zoltar? Zoltar, where are you? The orcs
are upon us. What?
181
00:13:35,840 --> 00:13:39,959
Can't you see I'm busy, you filthy
peasant? I just wanted an extra room
182
00:13:39,960 --> 00:13:40,819
extra room.
183
00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:44,520
Oh, let me put that down.
184
00:13:44,750 --> 00:13:48,789
Yes, it's room key. Of course, I'm so
sorry. You know that filthy peasant
185
00:13:48,790 --> 00:13:51,790
remark? Merely part of our medieval
theme week.
186
00:13:52,310 --> 00:13:53,360
Huzzah!
187
00:13:55,050 --> 00:13:59,690
Welcome to Yay Me!
188
00:14:00,070 --> 00:14:01,630
Starring London Tipton!
189
00:14:04,810 --> 00:14:06,310
You're supposed to say...
190
00:14:34,600 --> 00:14:36,780
You're lucky I made sure I was here.
191
00:14:38,540 --> 00:14:39,590
Never mind.
192
00:14:40,300 --> 00:14:43,790
Ivana's at the spa getting her tail
waxed, so Chelsea's gonna fill it.
193
00:14:44,040 --> 00:14:45,090
What?
194
00:14:48,460 --> 00:14:51,860
Now, when I clap my hands, you eat this
biscuit.
195
00:14:52,140 --> 00:14:53,540
But it's for dog.
196
00:14:54,140 --> 00:14:55,400
And it's carbs.
197
00:14:57,700 --> 00:14:59,700
But it's low -carb.
198
00:15:00,120 --> 00:15:01,170
Oh.
199
00:15:03,080 --> 00:15:04,130
Wait.
200
00:15:04,839 --> 00:15:06,140
Wait. Good girl.
201
00:15:06,420 --> 00:15:07,470
Now.
202
00:15:10,440 --> 00:15:13,220
Bad dog. Cody would have eaten that.
203
00:15:13,780 --> 00:15:16,010
And Cody would have made sure Ivana was
here.
204
00:15:46,410 --> 00:15:47,850
Questions from our audience.
205
00:16:18,280 --> 00:16:19,360
and sleeping grandma.
206
00:16:19,740 --> 00:16:20,790
How do you know?
207
00:16:21,260 --> 00:16:22,940
Because I'm watching her webcast.
208
00:16:24,860 --> 00:16:26,940
The fly just went up her nose.
209
00:16:31,760 --> 00:16:32,810
Ew!
210
00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:39,650
Okay, maybe I'll log on for just a
minute.
211
00:17:27,819 --> 00:17:28,869
in Django Darkwood?
212
00:17:29,440 --> 00:17:30,600
Well, how do you know?
213
00:17:30,820 --> 00:17:32,740
Because I'm Multac Firewind.
214
00:17:33,580 --> 00:17:38,940
How could this possibly be?
215
00:17:39,300 --> 00:17:41,960
Holy hobgoblins, I thought I'd never see
you again.
216
00:17:47,040 --> 00:17:48,440
Hail and wellment!
217
00:17:48,680 --> 00:17:49,730
Huzzah!
218
00:17:50,260 --> 00:17:51,310
How's my kingdom?
219
00:17:52,040 --> 00:17:56,240
Alas, I wish I had better tidings. It's
been overrun by blood giants.
220
00:17:56,960 --> 00:17:59,180
I tried to stop them, but they're giant.
221
00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:01,540
Where did you go?
222
00:18:02,100 --> 00:18:03,580
My mother made me quit.
223
00:18:04,520 --> 00:18:06,480
She thinks the game is addictive.
224
00:18:07,700 --> 00:18:08,750
Ridiculous, right?
225
00:18:11,320 --> 00:18:12,370
Huh?
226
00:18:17,160 --> 00:18:18,240
I think she's right.
227
00:18:18,740 --> 00:18:21,100
I mean, I haven't done any work in a
fortnight.
228
00:18:21,560 --> 00:18:23,080
Plus, I just said fortnight.
229
00:18:24,340 --> 00:18:27,110
Yeah, I haven't done any homework in
like... three months.
230
00:18:27,510 --> 00:18:29,190
Game's only been out for two weeks.
231
00:18:30,430 --> 00:18:31,480
What's your point?
232
00:18:33,510 --> 00:18:36,990
Perhaps with each other's help, we can
kick this filthy habit.
233
00:18:38,110 --> 00:18:40,350
It's so fun. It's so, so fun.
234
00:18:42,010 --> 00:18:43,060
No, no, no.
235
00:18:43,430 --> 00:18:45,530
We must stay strong, young Malta.
236
00:18:46,150 --> 00:18:47,970
As you wish, Lord Darkblade.
237
00:19:20,680 --> 00:19:22,000
But somebody needs a trim.
238
00:19:22,840 --> 00:19:24,540
I wish Cody would come back.
239
00:19:25,080 --> 00:19:29,419
Why don't you just apologize to him? But
I can't. Daddy says there are two
240
00:19:29,420 --> 00:19:30,740
things a tipton never does.
241
00:19:31,060 --> 00:19:32,260
Apologize and pay taxes.
242
00:19:32,600 --> 00:19:36,660
Oh, my daddy told me the same thing the
last time I visited him in prison.
243
00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:41,270
If I wanted to apologize, I wouldn't
know where to start.
244
00:19:41,560 --> 00:19:45,979
Oh, I've seen people do it in movies,
and I think that they list things that
245
00:19:45,980 --> 00:19:47,030
they did wrong.
246
00:19:54,120 --> 00:19:59,079
thought of that now anyway all i know is
that the show was at its best when he
247
00:19:59,080 --> 00:20:05,999
was here he was the yay and yay me look
cody
248
00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:09,379
if you're out there and happen to be
watching this really bad show produced
249
00:20:09,380 --> 00:20:11,100
chelsea
250
00:20:35,500 --> 00:20:37,360
apology now come on we have a show to do
251
00:21:17,870 --> 00:21:21,930
It got so bad, I found myself dreaming
about orcs.
252
00:21:22,290 --> 00:21:24,410
Yeah, I used to dream about girls.
253
00:21:25,990 --> 00:21:27,150
I hear you, buddy.
254
00:21:30,770 --> 00:21:33,230
My name is Marion, and I'm a video game
addict.
255
00:21:33,950 --> 00:21:37,550
I'm out of control, okay?
256
00:21:37,930 --> 00:21:40,630
I mean, I started building a moat in my
backyard.
257
00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:48,490
I'm Django.
258
00:21:49,320 --> 00:21:52,240
Django? Oh, please. Yeah, that's right.
259
00:21:52,680 --> 00:21:53,730
Django Darkblade.
260
00:21:54,340 --> 00:21:58,160
You know, I noticed when we came in, the
security guard had a laptop.
261
00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:00,050
Oh?
262
00:22:00,940 --> 00:22:04,120
No, wait, wait. No, no, no, no.
263
00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:05,980
You mustn't.
264
00:22:06,440 --> 00:22:07,490
Just stay.
265
00:22:08,300 --> 00:22:09,350
Because I called...
266
00:22:09,370 --> 00:22:13,920
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