Original subtitles

? I'M GOING DOWN TO SOUTH PARK ?

? GONNA HAVE MYSELF A TIME ?

? FRIENDLY FACES EVERYWHERE ?

? HUMBLE FOLKS WITHOUT TEMPTATION ?

? GOING DOWN TO SOUTH PARK ?

? GONNA LEAVE MY WOE'S BEHIND ?

? AMPLE PARKING DAY OR NIGHT ?

? PEOPLE SPOUTING, "HOWDY NEIGHBOR" ?

? HEADED ON UP TO SOUTH PARK ?

? GONNA SEE IF I CAN'T UNWIND ?

( mumbling )

? SO COME ON DOWN TO SOUTH PARK ?

? AND MEET SOME FRIENDS OF MINE ?

? SCHOOL DAYS, SCHOOL DAYS ?

? TEACHER...

MY LITTLE BROTHER'S TRYING TO FOLLOW ME

TO SCHOOL AGAIN.

IKE, YOU CAN'T COME TO SCHOOL WITH ME !

YEAH, GO HOME, YOU LITTLE DILDO !

DUDE DON'T CALL MY BROTHER A DILDO !

WHAT'S A DILDO ?

I DON'T KNOW.

AND I'LL BET CARTMAN DOESN'T KNOW EITHER.

I KNOW WHAT IT MEANS !

WELL, WHAT ?

I'M NOT TELLING YOU.

WHAT'S A DILDO KENNY ?

( mumbling )

THAT'S WHAT KYLE'S LITTLE BROTHER IS ALRIGHT.

DUDE, THAT KICKS ASS !

YEAH, CHECK THIS ONE OUT !

READY IKE, KICK THE BABY.

DON'T KICK THE BABY.

KICK THE BABY.

AHH...

WHOA CARTMAN,

LOOKS LIKE YOU DIDN'T GET MUCH SLEEP LAST NIGHT.

THAT'S BECAUSE I WAS HAVING THESE BOGUS NIGHTMARES.

REALLY, WHAT ABOUT ?

WELL, I DREAMT THAT I WAS LYING IN MY BED,

IN THE DARK.

WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN

THIS BRIGHT BLUE LIGHT FILLED THE ROOM.

AND SLOWLY MY BEDROOM DOOR BEGAN TO OPEN.

AND THEN THE NEXT THING I REMEMBER,

I WAS BEING DRAGGED THROUGH A HALLWAY.

THEN I WAS LYING ON A TABLE,

AND THESE SCARY ALIENS WANTED TO OPERATE ON ME.

AND THEY HAD BIG HEADS AND BIG BLACK EYES.

DUDE, TOTALLY ! VISITORS !

WHAT ?

THAT WASN'T A DREAM CARTMAN,

THOSE WERE VISITORS !

NO, IT WAS JUST A DREAM,

MY MOM SAID SO.

VISITORS ARE REAL.

THEY ABDUCT PEOPLE AND THEY MUTILATE COWS.

SHUT UP YOU GUYS,

YOU'RE JUST TRYING TO MAKE ME SCARED.

AND IT'S NOT WORKING.

HELLO THERE CHILDREN.

HEY CHEF. HEY CHEF.

WHAT'S GONNA BE FOR LUNCH TODAY CHEF ?

TODAY IT'S SALISBURY STEAK WITH BUTTERED NOODLES.

AND A CHOICE OF GREEN BEAN CASSEROLE

OR VEGETABLE MEDLEY.

KICK ASS.

DID ANY OF YOU CHILDREN

SEE THE ALIEN SPACESHIP LAST NIGHT ?

YEAH, FAT BOY SAW IT.

NO, THAT WAS JUST A DREAM.

AND I'M NOT FAT I'M BIG BONED !

WAS IT THE ONES WITH THE BIG LONG HEADS

AND THE BLACK EYES ?

OH !

THEY TOOK HIM ON THEIR SHIP.

OH, DID THEY GIVE YOU AN ANAL PROBE ?

WHAT'S AN ANAL PROBE ?

THAT'S WHEN THEY PUT THIS BIG METAL HOOP-A-JOOP

UP YOUR BUTT.

WHOA, THEY GAVE YOU AN ANAL PROBE CARTMAN ?

NO, I MEAN... WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT ?

DUDE THEY DID, HUH ?

ALIENS STUCK STUFF UP YOUR ASS !

NO !

ANAL PROBE.

SHUT UP DILDO !

WELL, I GOT TO GET TO THE CAFETERIA.

YOU CHILDREN WATCH THAT FAT BOY NOW,

HE CAN BE UNDER ALIEN CONTROL.

WE TOLD YOU THEY WERE REAL, CARTMAN.

SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR ASS.

GODAMMIT, THEY DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO MY ASS !

IT WAS JUST A DREAM !

WHY YOU WALKING SO FUNNY CARTMAN ?

SHUT UP !

NO IKE, GO HOME.

THIS IS IT,

THIS ONE'S FOR THE GAME.

KICK THE BABY.

GOOD MORNING MISS CRABTREE.

SIT DOWN, WE'RE RUNNING LATE !

DAMMIT, HE'S STILL THERE.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT HIM.

NO DUDE,

IF SOMETHING HAPPENS TO HIM,

MY PARENTS ARE GONNA BLAME ME.

SIT DOWN BACK THERE !

AHH !

YEAH WHATEVER, YOU FAT BITCH.

WHAT DID YOU SAY ?!

I SAID I HAVE A BAD ITCH.

OH !

OH MY GOD !

VISITORS.

( mumbling )

IKE !

STOP THE BUS !

MISS CRABTREE, YOU HAVE TO STOP THIS BUS !

DO YOU WANT AN OFFICE REFERRAL ?

NO.

THEN SIT DOWN !

BUT I...

AHH !

AH !

AHH !

AH !

CARTMAN, ARE THOSE THE SAME VISITORS YOU SAW ?

SHUT UP YOU GUYS, IT'S NOT WORKING.

WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING.

WE CAN'T DO ANYTHING FOR NOW

THAT FAT BITCH WON'T LET US.

WHAT DID YOU SAY ?

I SAID THAT RABBITS EAT LETTUCE.

WELL YES, THEY CERTAINLY DO.

WHAT AM I GONNA DO ?

MY LITTLE BROTHER HAS BEEN ABDUCTED BY ALIENS.

( farting )

YOU FARTED.

SOMEBODY IS BAKING BROWNIES.

THAT'S THE THIRD COW THIS MONTH.

AT THIS RATE,

ALL MY CATTLE ARE GONNA DIE BEFORE THE WINTER'S THROUGH.

THIS IS NOTHING OUT OF THE UNUSUAL.

COWS TURN THEMSELVES INSIDE OUT ALL THE TIME.

PEOPLE BEEN SAYING

THEY'VE BEEN SEEING UFO'S AROUND.

UFO'S ?

YEAH, AND BLACK ARMY CIA HELICOPTERS AND TRUCKS.

THAT'S THE SILLIEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD.

WHAT WAS THAT ?

THAT WAS A PIGEON.

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO ?

JUST STAND HERE AND WATCH MY COWS

GET MUTILATED ONE BY ONE ?

( whistling )

HEY, MY CATTLE !

YOU SEE ?

THERE IS SOMETHING FUNNY GOING ON.

THERE'S NOTHING FUNNY GOING ON.

I'LL GET THOSE COWS BACK.

AND NOW CHILDREN,

OUR FRIEND MR. HAT IS GOING TO TELL US

ABOUT CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS.

THAT'S RIGHT MR. GARRISON,

CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DISCOVERED AMERICA,

AND WAS THE INDIAN'S BEST FRIEND.

HE HELPED THE INDIANS WIN THEIR WAR AGAINST

FREDERICK DOUGLAS,

AND FREED THE HEBREWS FROM NAPOLEON.

AND DISCOVERED FRANCE.

I CAN'T JUST SIT HERE.

I HAVE TO HELP MY STUPID BROTHER.

I'LL COME HOME WITHOUT HIM

AND MY DAD WILL START YELLING.

"WHERE'S YOUR BROTHER, KYLE !?"

"YOU WEREN'T LOOKING OUT FOR YOUR LITTLE BROTHER, KYLE."

OKAY, LET'S DITCH SCHOOL AND GO FIND HIM.

"YOU KNOW HE CAN'T THINK ON HIS OWN, KYLE."

"BRUSH AND FLOSS, KYLE."

"WHERE HAS THAT FINGER BEEN, KYLE ?"

DUDE !

IS THERE A PROBLEM BOYS ?

YES MR. GARRISON, I HAVE TO GO NOW.

OH REALLY, KYLE.

WHAT IS IT THIS TIME, ANOTHER PROSTATE TUMOR ?

NO, MY LITTLE BROTHER'S BEEN ABDUCTED BY ALIENS.

IT'S TRUE, ASK CARTMAN.

THEY GAVE HIM AN ANAL PROBE.

THAT'S A LITTLE JOKE.

MR. GARRISON, SERIOUSLY, I HAVE TO GO.

CAN I PLEASE BE EXCUSED FROM CLASS ?

I DON'T KNOW KYLE, DID YOU ASK MR. HAT ?

I DON'T WANT TO ASK MR. HAT.

I'M ASKING YOU !

I THINK YOU SHOULD ASK MR. HAT.

MR. HAT, MAY I PLEASE BE EXCUSED FROM CLASS ?

WELL KYLE, NO !

YOU HEAR ME ? YOU GO TO HELL !

YOU GO TO HELL AND YOU DIE !

I GUESS YOU'LL HAVE TO TAKE YOUR SEAT.

DAMMIT !

HA, HA, MR. HAT YELLED AT YOU.

OW, MY ASS !

DAMN CARTMAN.

OW, MY ASS !

DUDE, HE'S FARTING FIRE.

IT'S THE ALIEN ANAL PROBE !

IT'S SHOOTING FIRE FROM CARTMAN'S RECTUM !

THAT WAS JUST A DREAM.

ERIC, DO YOU NEED TO SIT IN THE CORNER

UNTIL YOUR FLAMING GAS IS UNDER CONTROL ?

NO MR. GARRISON, I'M FINE.

OWW !

HEY, YOU COWS CAN'T GET ON THIS TRAIN.

THIS IS A PEOPLE TRAIN.

YOU COWS HAVE NO BUSINESS ON A PEOPLE TRAIN, ALRIGHT ?

'CAUSE YOU'RE COWS.

NO, NO, NO.

DON'T TRY ANY OF THAT COW HYPNOSIS ON ME, ALRIGHT ?

'CAUSE IT'S NOT GONNA WORK.

HOLD IT RIGHT THERE COWS.

COME BACK HERE !

( chatter )

AHH !

I SURE AM HUNGRY.

HOW CAN YOU EAT WHEN YOU'RE FARTING FIRE ?

SHUT UP DUDE, YOU'RE BEING TOTALLY IMMATURE.

HEY LOOK, THERE'S WENDY TESTABERGER.

WHERE ?

( romantic music )

? STAN WANTS TO KISS, WENDY TESTABERGER ?

SHUT UP FAT ASS, I DON'T EVEN LIKE HER !

I'M NOT FAT AND YOU OBVIOUSLY LIKE HER

BECAUSE YOU THROW UP EVERY TIME SHE TALKS TO YOU.

I DO NOT.

HI, GUYS.

HI, WENDY. HI, WENDY.

HERE STAN, THIS IS FOR YOU.

EWW !

BYE, BYE, WENDY. WENDY.

DUDE, WHAT DOES THE NOTE SAY ?

HOLY CRAP,

IT SAYS SHE WANTS TO MEET ME AT STARK'S POND

AFTER SCHOOL.

WHOA, MAYBE YOU CAN KISS HER.

OR SLIP HER THE TONGUE.

( mumbling )

WHAT, HOW DO YOU KNOW SHE HAS A CAT ?

COME ON YOU GUYS,

WE NEED TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO GET OUT OF SCHOOL

SO WE CAN GET MY LITTLE BROTHER BACK.

HELLO THERE CHILDREN.

HEY CHEF.

HOW ARE YOU DOING ? BAD.

WHY BAD ?

CHEF, HAVE YOU EVER HAD SOMETHING HAPPEN TO YOU

BUT NOBODY BELIEVED YOU ?

OH CHILDREN, CHILDREN.

THAT'S A PROBLEM WE'VE ALL HAD TO FACE

AT SOME TIME OR ANOTHER.

HERE, LET ME SING YOU A LITTLE SONG.

IT MIGHT CLEAR THINGS UP.

? I'M GONNA MAKE LOVE TO YOU WOMAN ?

? GONNA LAY YOU DOWN BY THE FIRE ?

? AND CARESS YOUR WOMANLY BODY ?

? MAKE YOU MOAN AND PERSPIRE ?

? GONNA GET THOSE JUICES FLOWING ?

? WE'RE MAKING LOVE, BABY ?

? LOVE BABY, LOVE, LOVE, BABY... ?

CHEF !

HUH ?!

DO YOU FEEL BETTER ?

NO.

OH CHILDREN, WHAT CAN BE SO BAD ?

IT'S SALISBURY STEAK DAY.

VISITORS TOOK KYLE'S BABY BROTHER.

WHAT ?!

WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING

IN SCHOOL EATING SALISBURY STEAK ?

GO FIND HIM, DAMMIT !

MR. GARRISON WON'T LET US OUT OF SCHOOL.

HE THINKS WE'RE MAKING IT UP.

YOU ARE MAKING IT UP !

WHOA.

WHAT ?

THAT WAS COOL.

IT'S SOME KIND OF SYMBIONIC METAMORPHOSEDEVICE.

THIS CAN MEAN THE VISITORS WANT TO COMMUNICATE WITH US.

OH I SEE.

NOW YOU'RE GONNA JOIN IN ON THE LITTLE JOKE.

IT'S NO JOKE CHILDREN, THIS IS BIG.

PLEASE CHEF, IF I DON'T GET OUT OF SCHOOL

AND GET MY BROTHER BACK FROM THE ALIENS,

MY PARENTS ARE GONNA DISOWN ME.

HOLD ON, HOLD ON NOW.

YOU GOT TO HELP THE CHILDREN.

HEY, YOU GUYS SURE ARE GOING A LONG WAY

TO TRY AND SCARE ME.

I WANT MY SALISBURY STEAK.

FIRE DRILL, FIRE DRILL !

EVERYBODY OUT !

OKAY CHILDREN, THIS IS YOUR CHANCE.

KILLER, THANKS CHEF.

MAN, OH MAN.

FIRST CONTACT WITH THE ALIEN VISITORS !

I'VE GOT TO GET MYSELF READY.

? WE GOT OUT OF SCHOOL ?

? NO MORE SCHOOL TODAY ?

? WE GOT OUT OF SCHOOL... ?

OH, YOU GUYS MY ASS, SERIOUSLY !!

OKAY CARTMAN

YOU CAN STOP FARTING FIRE NOW.

I WOULD IF I COULD YOU SON-OF-A-BITCH !

SO HOW DO WE GET MY LITTLE BROTHER BACK ?

WOULD YOU STOP GOING ON ABOUT YOUR LITTLE BROTHER ?!

I KNOW IT WAS JUST A DREAM !

I KNOW I DIDN'T HAVE AN ANAL PROBE !

AND I KNOW THAT I'M NOT UNDER ALIEN CONTROL !

? I LOVE TO SINGA

? ABOUT THE MOONA AND THE JUNA AND THE SPRINGA ?

? I LOVE TO SINGA

? ABOUT A SKY OF BLUE OR TEA FOR TWO...?

WHAT THE HELL WASTHAT?!

HEISUNDER ALIEN CONTROL.

THAT THING IN HIS BUTT

IS LINKED UP TO THE VISITORS !

SON-OF-A-BITCH !

YOU GUYS SHUT UP,

I'M NOT UNDER ALIEN CONTROL !

HEY, IF YOU VISITORS CAN HEAR ME,

BRING ME BACK MY LITTLE BROTHER,

GODAMMIT !

THAT HURTS YOU BUTT LICKER !

KYLE LOOK, IT'S THEM.

GIVE ME BACK MY BROTHER !

OH MY GOD, THEY KILLED KENNY !

YOU BASTARDS, COME BACK HERE !

COME BACK !

DAMMIT, WE WERE SO CLOSE !

HEY LOOK, I THINK KENNY'S OKAY.

( mumbling )

OH !

( sirens )

WOW, POOR KENNY.

NOWDO YOU BELIEVE US CARTMAN ?

NO.

CARTMAN, THEY KILLED KENNY !

HE'S NOT DEAD.

DUDE, KENNY IS DEAD.

SEE ?

SHUT UP YOU GUYS.

HE'S DEAD CARTMAN !

GODAMMIT, I DIDN'T HAVE AN ANAL PROBE !

SCREW YOU GUYS, I'M GOING HOME !

GO ON AND GO HOME YOU FAT CHICKEN !

DILDO !

YOU'RE ALL I HAVE LEFT, STAN.

SORRY DUDE, I GOTTA GO MEET WENDY.

YOU CAN'T.

POOR IKE MUST BE SO SCARED.

UP THERE ALL ALONE.

YOU GOTTA HELP ME DUDE.

DUDE, LIKE CHEF SAYS,

I GOTTA GET A PIECE OF LOVING

WHILE THE GETTING'S HOT.

RATS !

HELLO ERIC.

HI MOM.

HOW ARE YOU DOING ?

WELL, I'M PISSED OFF

HERE, I MADE YOU POWDERED DONUT PANCAKE SURPRISE.

I DON'T WANT POWDERED DONUT PANCAKE SURPRISE !

ALL THE KIDS IN SCHOOL CALL ME FAT.

YOU'RE NOT FAT, YOU'RE BIG BONED.

THAT'S WHAT I SAID.

YOU CAN HAVE AN EENSY-WEENSYBIT, CAN'T YOU ?

NO !

JUST AWEENSY-EENSY WOO-WOO?

NO, LEAVE ME ALONE MOM !

HOW ABOUT A NICE CHOCOLATE CHICKEN POT PIE THEN ?

WELL, THAT SOUNDS PRETTY GOOD.

MOM ?

YES HON ?

IF ANYBODY CALLS OR COMES OVER,

I'M NOT HERE, OKAY ?

SURE, HON.

YOU WANT SOME CHEESY POOFS TOO ?

YEAH, I WANT CHEESY POOFS.

WELL, LOOKS LIKE SHE'S NOT GONNA SHOW UP STAN.

LET'S GO LOOK FOR THE VISITORS NOW.

BUT HER NOTE SAID SHE'D BE HERE.

HI, STAN.

EW.

YOU CAN'T TALK TO STAN, WENDY,

HE THROWS UP WHEN YOU DO.

BUT WHY STAN ?

EW.

COULD YOU GUYS JUST GET DOWN TO BUSINESS

SO WE CAN FIND MY LITTLE BROTHER ?

HUH ?

JUST MAKE SWEET LOVE DOWN BY THE FIRE.

WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR LITTLE BROTHER ?

As the reports of UFO sightings increase,

more mysterious crop circle patters are appearing

in fields all around South Park.

These crop circles when viewed from above,

form strange patterns.

HEY, THAT KIND OF LOOKS LIKE,

TOM SELLECK.

Could it be that aliens are trying to

make contact with us, here on earth ?

MEOW.

NO KITTY, THIS ISMYPOT PIE !

MEOW.

NO, BAD KITTY.

NO KITTY, THIS IS MY POT PIE !

MOM, KITTY'S BEING A DILDO !

WELL THEN I KNOW A CERTAIN KITTY KITTY

WHO'S SLEEPING WITH MOMMY TONIGHT.

WHAT ?!

AND NOW I HAVE TO GO HOME WITHOUT HIM

AND MY PARENTS ARE GONNA HAVE ME KILLED !

WHY DIDN'T YOU GO GET THE FAT KID ?

WHY ?

IF THE FAT KID HAS SOMETHING IMPLANTED IN HIS ASS,

MAYBE THE VISITORS ARE USING HIM

AS PART OF THEIR PLAN.

YOU SHOULD USE THE FAT KID AS BAIT

TO BRING THEM BACK.

HEY, YOU'RE RIGHT WENDY.

COME ON STAN, WE HAVE TO GO GET CARTMAN.

COME ON STAN.

EW !

HEY WAIT.

WHEN DO I GET TO MAKE SWEET LOVE ?

MEOW.

NO KITTY, YOU CAN'T HAVE ANY !

MEOW.

NO KITTY, THIS IS MY POT PIE !

BAD KITTY.

EXCUSE ME KITTY.

ERIC, LOOK WHO'S HERE.

GOOD GRIEF MOM !

COME ON, WE'RE GONNA PLAY AT THE BUS STOP.

I CAN'T, MY MOM SAYS...

THAT'S OKAY ERIC,

I THINK YOU NEED TO SPEND TIME

WITH YOUR LITTLE FRIENDS.

But mom, I don't want to spend time...

DON'T BE DIFFICULT ERIC !

NOW YOU GO OUT AND PLAY IN THE FUN SNOW.

GODAMMIT !

YOU GUYS, I HAVE TO GET HOME.

DON'T BE SUCH A FRAIDY CAT CARTMAN.

THIS ROPE WILL MAKE SURE

THEY CAN'T TAKE YOU ON BOARD AGAIN.

MAN, THIS SUCKS !

HOW COME THE VISITORS AREN'T COMING FOR HIM ?

I THINK WE HAVE TO SIGNAL THEM SOMEHOW.

OWW !

HEY, HE'S LIKERUDOLPH.

ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS FART SOME MORE CARTMAN

AND THE VISITORS ARE SURE TO COME.

REALLY ?!

I DON'T THINK I HAVE TO FART ANYMORE TONIGHT.

SURE YOU DO.

COME ON CARTMAN, FART !

I DON'T WANNA !

HE CAN'T HOLD IT IN FOREVER.

FART, DAMN YOU !

OKAY, THAT DOES IT !

NOW LISTEN,

WHY IS IT THAT EVERYTHING TODAY

HAS INVOLVED THINGS EITHER GOING IN

OR COMING OUT OF MY ASS ?!

I'M SICK OF IT !

IT'S COMPLETELY IMMATURE !

HEY, IT'S HAPPENING AGAIN.

WHOA, LOOK AT THAT.

NOW DO YOU BELIEVE US CARTMAN ?

YOU GUYS CAN'T SCARE ME.

I KNOW YOU'RE MAKING IT ALL UP.

THERE'S AN 80 FOOT SATELLITE DISH

STICKING OUT OF YOUR ASS !

SURE YOU GUYS, WHATEVER.

OH BOY,

THE ALIENS ARE GOING TO MAKE FIRST CONTACT.

HEY, DOWN HERE !

WE ARE READY FOR YOUR WISDOM.

AND YOU ONLY GOT 20 MINUTES

BEFORE "SANFORD AND SON" IS ON !

YOU GUYS, I AM SERIOUSLY

GETTING PISSED OFF RIGHT NOW.

I KNOW THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS ALIENS !

GODAMMIT !

I TELL YOU,

THERE'S CRAZY STUFF GOING ON IN THIS TOWN.

YOU CAN SAY THAT AGAIN MR. GARRISON.

COME DOWN HERE YOU STINKING ALIENS !

UH, UH...

GO ON KYLE,

ASK THEM FOR YOUR LITTLE BROTHER BACK.

VISITORS,

THIS MORNING YOU TOOK MY BROTHER IKE.

HE'S THE LITTLE FRECKLED KID

THAT LOOKS LIKE A FOOTBALL.

AT FIRST I WAS HAPPY YOU TOOK HIM AWAY.

BUT I'VE LEARNED SOMETHING TODAY.

THAT HAVING A LITTLE BROTHER

IS A PRETTY SPECIAL THING.

HECK MR. VISITORS,

I'M JUST A KID ALL ALONE IN THIS CRAZY WORLD.

BUT IF YOU CAN FIND IT IN YOUR HEARTS

OR WHATEVER YOU HAVE

TO GIVE MY BROTHER BACK TO ME,

IT SURE WOULD MAKE MY LIFE BRIGHTER AGAIN.

THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL DUDE.

DID IT WORK ?

NOPE, THEY'RE LEAVING.

HEY YOU SCRAWNY ASSED %$#@!...

WHAT THE %$& IS WRONG WITH YOU ?

YOU MUST BE SOME KIND OF &%$#@

TO BE ABLE TO IGNORE A CRYING CHILD !

WHOA, DUDE !

YOU KNOW WHAT YOU &%$#@ LIKE ?

YOU LIKE TO %$#@&$...

( beeped out )

HEY WENDY, WHAT'S A &%$#@ ?

IKE, JUMP DOWN, NOW !

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD IKE, JUMP !

DON'T HURT ME...

( mooing )

MOO.

COME ON IKE,

I PROMISE I'LL BE NICE TO YOU FROM NOW ON.

DON'T KICK THE BABY.

WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT ?

IKE !

IKE !

DO YOUR IMPERSONATION OF DAVID CARUSO'SCAREER.

IT'S MY TURN.

YOU GUYS GET ME DOWN FROM HERE.

HELP !

HELP... !

DILDO !!

I'M SURE GLAD THAT'S OVER WITH.

YEAH, BOY, AM I GLAD TO SEE YOU IKE.

FLY IN THE SKY.

WAIT !

WHERE ARE YOU GOING ALIEN VISITORS ?

COME BACK !

WELL CHEF, WHERE'S THIS AMAZING THING

YOU WERE GONNA SHOW US ?

WELL, IT'S IN THE BEDROOM, LADIES.

COME ON IN.

COME ON IKE,

WE CAN MAKE IT IN TIME FOR DINNER.

THANKS FOR YOUR HELP WENDY.

WHATEVER DUDE.

HEY, I DIDN'T THROW UP !

COOL.

( romantic music )

EW !

SORRY.

HEY LOOK, A FRENCH FRY.

COOL.

AND WHAT IS THAT ?

I THINK IT'S PART OF A CHEESY POOF.

HEY, WHAT'S THAT ?

THAT'S A HAMBURGER.

THAT'S FROM LIKE TWO DAYS AGO.

HEY, WHAT ABOUT THAT ?

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL THAT IS !

GEE, THE BUS WILL BE HERE ANY MINUTE.

AND CARTMAN STILL ISN'T AROUND.

YEAH, WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF FRIENDS.

I WONDER WHAT THAT THING WAS

THAT THE VISITORS GAVE THE COWS ?

COWS, I GOT YOU CORNERED.

LET'S SEE YOU GET AWAY NOW.

? I LOVE TO SINGA

? ABOUT THE MOONA AND THE JUNA AND THE SPRINGA ?

? I LOVE TO SINGA

? ABOUT A SKY OF BLUE OR TEA FOR TWO...?

OH, HEY CARTMAN.

WOW CARTMAN.

THE VISITORS DROPPED YOU OFF

JUST IN TIME TO GO TO SCHOOL.

OH MAN,

I HAD THIS CRAZY NIGHTMARE LAST NIGHT.

REALLY, WHAT ABOUT ?

WELL I WAS STANDING OUT IN A FIELD

AND I HAD THIS HUGE SATELLITE DISH

STICKING OUT OF MY BUTT.

AND THEN THERE WAS HUNDREDS OF COWS AND ALIENS

AND THEN I WENT UP ON THE SHIP

ANDSCOTT BAIO GAVE ME PINK EYE.

THAT WASN'T A DREAM, CARTMAN.

THAT REALLY HAPPENED.

OH, RIGHT.

WHY DON'T I HAVE PINK EYE THEN ?

CARTMAN, YOU DOHAVE PINK EYE.

SON-OF-A-BITCH !

CAPTIONS COPYRIGHT 1997 HOME BOX OFFICE

A DIVISION OF TIME WARNER ENTERTAINMENT COMPANY, L.P.

Captioned by HBO COMMUNICATIONS CENTER

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0