Original subtitles

Hail Caesar.

Alchemist, let me see it.

Does it have the power?

Great Caesar, with this breastplate you will be invincible. No living man can

slay the one who has it.

How confident are you of this?

I will stake my life on it.

And so you shall.

Put it on.

You have done well, alchemist.

There are still a few adjustments remaining, Caesar. Very well.

Finish them and bring the armor to my home this evening.

Whoa!

Whoa, where are the last two numbers?

Seventeen and three, I think.

You think?

Well, I'm sorry.

It was a little difficult to understand with him speaking Spanish and dying at

the same time.

And not to mention the gunfire.

I guess I'll have to give it a shot.

All right.

We're out of the line of fire.

They've stopped shooting.

They're in the building.

Hey, it's me.

Claudia, this is not the time.

Look, it's important.

Claudia!

Hi, Sid.

It's Roger.

Listen, I think I found a guy who can decode the alchemist text. That's great.

Can we talk about this another time?

No, I gotta get a flight out to Rome today. I need you to take the pages with

me. Have Claudia give them to you.

Thanks.

So, um, you gonna take a little time off before you come back?

Doesn't look like it.

Here they are, all Greek to me. Actually, it's most likely a variation

but with transpositions of key letters based on a mathematical formula, based

alchemical principles of transformation.

I love it when you talk that way.

Caesar's breastplate.

Amazing.

Did you realize it was supposed to make any man who wore it invincible?

I thought Caesar was murdered.

Yeah, unfortunately, Brutus and his accomplices struck him down before the

breastplate was delivered.

Bummer.

Yeah.

Do you have something we can put them in?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, right here.

Perfect. You're so great. Really?

What aspect of me do you like best?

Well, if I had a little more time, we could discuss it over dinner, but I have

6 p .m. flight to Rome.

Well, I always carry my passport, and I love pasta.

You wouldn't happen to have a

canister of oxygen, would you?

I've never seen you run that fast.

I've never been so highly motivated.

Who are

you

talking to, anyway?

Roger Penrose.

He wanted the Caesar text to take to a cryptographer in Rome.

You did remember that I sent the last two pages for carbon date testing,

you?

They're still at the science department.

I completely forgot.

The text will be useless without it. I better call him.

Now?

I can get the pages, but Roger's probably already at the airport.

I'll have to take them to him there.

I'm sure he'll appreciate it.

A lot.

Okay, go give it to him. All right, then.

ticket please i don't know i'm not getting on a plane i just wanted to know

whether professor penrose has already boarded the flight to rome i'm sorry

not allowed to give out any information about a passenger so you're saying he is

a passenger i'm not saying that you're saying he's not a passenger i'm not

saying that either and what are you saying i'm not saying anything dear next

there is no night

Thank you, sir.

Boarding pass, please.

I've got to talk to that man who just went through security.

I'm sorry, but only passengers are allowed past that point. But I've got

something to give to Professor Penrose. It goes with what's in the tube.

All right, well, let's have a look. Maybe I'll take it to him. No, not to

He's not Professor Penrose. He's got Professor Penrose's tube. Why? I don't

know. But I'd like to know. You realize you make absolutely no sense, dear.

Okay, let me explain.

The man who just went through the machine is not Professor Penrose, but

Professor Penrose's tube. You know, Professor Penrose would never let anyone

else have the tube because he knows how valuable it is. And anyway, where is

Professor Penrose and where is that man going with Professor Penrose's tube?

Never mind, I'll just call Sidney. She'll know what to do.

Are there any seats left on the flight to Rome? How nice to see you again.

Just a minute.

We're all full.

Actually, there is one seat available in first class.

Piazza del Popolo, per favore.

Por favor, yo quiero una... That's Spanish, it's not Italian.

Oh.

Do you speak English?

Yes.

Sorry.

Well,

I couldn't help but overhearing where you were going, and, well, you know,

really close to where I'm going. Oh, where is that?

The hotel near the pizza del...

Paul, where are you going?

What a coincidence. Enjoy your time in Rome.

Oh, um, but there's no taxis.

And I'm in a really big hurry.

Well, you shouldn't be in a hurry in Rome, okay?

Wait, um, I was thinking maybe we could share a taxi.

You know, you and me, together.

Or is what I hear about Italian men all wrong?

Oh, all right then. Where's your luggage?

Uh, I don't have any.

None at all? No.

I like to shop.

Whenever I travel, it's always first class, and I always buy everything new.

It's more fun that way.

What's that, then?

My shopping list.

Thanks.

Oh.

What do you do?

I run my own business.

Oh, that's very interesting.

I thought maybe you were an architect.

Why? Oh, that tube there. It looks like it might contain blueprints or

something. I guess not. No?

No. So what do you do? I'm a secretary.

And on a secretary's salary, you fly around the world to go shopping? My

gives me an allowance.

Oh, wow. He's a nice daddy, eh?

Yeah.

Well, you know what? If you'll excuse me, I have to catch 30 wings, okay?

40. Huh?

40 wings.

Well, I suppose you could say 30 if you weren't going to sleep for very long,

but... Okay.

Now that the Isle of Quetzalcoatl is back where it belongs, you know what I

to do this weekend?

What? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. When I'm done doing nothing, I'm going to do

some more nothing.

Sounds good to me.

I thought you didn't pick up the mail.

The door's locked. The lights are on.

Claudia? Claudia?

I wonder where she is.

Strange. There are a dozen messages on the machine.

Maybe she's sick.

Try calling her at home.

There are tickets here for that band she's always talking about.

They're dated for last night.

No answer at her house.

Not like her not to leave a note.

Where could she be?

Oh, wow, look, the Coliseum. All lit up.

Oh, I've seen it before.

Oh, yeah. I suppose you would have.

It's a shame half of it's missing.

Sidney, you're back.

Dean Wormer. You'll be happy to know that the Eye of Quetzalcoatl is safely

in the hands of Señor Perez of Cartagena.

Something the matter?

Do you know where Claudia is?

As a matter of fact, no.

Why are you looking for her? I'm not.

The police are.

The police?

Something to do with Roger Penrose. Yes, Claudia was helping him with a project

we were working on.

Well, according to the police...

Roger Penrose appointment book lists his last meeting with her here at the

university. He was here yesterday. He should be in Rome by now. I don't think

so. The police found his body this morning at the airport.

He was murdered.

Where do you want the cop to take you?

Oh, no, no, it's fine. I'm staying really close to here. I can just walk.

Thanks for being so kind.

Wow.

Lovely. Do you own a rent?

I mean, I assume that you live here.

Americans are very inquisitive, eh?

Quirky little habit of mine.

I hope you don't think it's rude.

Yeah, well, I hope you enjoy your time in Rome.

Thanks.

Thanks again for the ride.

Oh, um, look, there's a really good explanation for all this. Yeah?

Um, jet lag.

Her father called, wanting to know what's going on.

Do you know how much money he donates to this university every year? I'm really

not concerned with how much money he donates, sir. I'm concerned with

What does her father know?

Did the police call him?

No, but he's had a call from his bank about the credit card he lets her use.

They wanted to know if he'd authorized a first -class ticket to Rome.

Did you tell Claudia to go to Rome?

No. Then what's she doing there?

I have no idea.

Sydney. She's your employee. You have a responsibility to keep an eye on her.

Her father expects us to... To keep a better track of her than he does? In all

due respect, sir, Claudia is a responsible, mature adult.

Well, I mean... Look, I'm sorry, but her father's a man who's used to getting

his own way, and he never stops reminding me about how much he donates.

Underneath all that, he just wants to know that his daughter is safe.

Now, what can you do?

Rome's a big city. How are we going to find Claudia?

Well, the last conversation I had with her, she was taking the alchemist's text

to Penrose.

Now Penrose is dead. I think we have to follow that lead.

The text?

Yeah, who would want the pages so badly? Who would kill to get Caesar's

breastplate? I think I know where to start.

Vittoria. He's a policeman?

No, he's a crook.

Well, he's more of a rogue, but he knows everything about the antiquities black

market.

If she's just gone on impulse, top of her product collection, I'm going to be

very annoyed.

I swear, I thought this was my friend's place.

Really? Do you always climb over your friend's fences?

Oh, well, that's just a little game that we play.

Okay. You look nervous. I'm going to get you a drink.

Thanks.

Just something diet, please.

There you go.

Do

you

have tornadoes here in Rome?

No.

then I must be really, really drunk.

Nico, how fast can you get here?

Sid, how much further is it?

Hey. Oh, Sidney.

Ciao. Bella.

What are you doing in Rome?

I'm Victoria, my associate, Nigel Bailey.

Excuse me.

Ciao. Please, Sidney, come with me. I want to show you what I'm working.

There it is.

I've been working on it quite some time now.

What's it supposed to be?

It's supposed to be Harrod's sword.

Not your best work, Victoria.

Well, I'm not finished.

It needs a little aging. You'll see.

Vittorio, I need your help, and it's urgent.

So what is the problem?

You've heard of a text written in code by the alchemist who created a

breastplate for Caesar?

Of course.

Supposedly it would make him invincible.

Well, a colleague of mine thought he had found someone who could decode it.

Now he's been murdered and my assistant is missing.

We have reason to believe she came to Rome, but that's all we know.

If this breastplate exists, then the person who finds it will be able to sell

for millions of dollars. Sydney, if we three find it, we could split the money.

Right, and I'm only interested in finding my assistant.

Now, who would want this breastplate? Who would have the interest and the

I know of many, but only one in Rome who could afford it. Who would that be?

That would be Count Raffaello Nofre.

His collection of Caesarian artifacts is superior to that of any museums, and

he's also one of the richest men in Europe.

He's chased the legend of the breastplate before, but with no success.

You know everyone. Can you get us an introduction?

Did you not want to see the Count, unless the Count wants to see them? I

try, but it would take time. We don't have time.

The only thing I can think of is the Count's monthly AIDS party.

AIDS party?

Yes, today is the 15th. The 15th of every month, the Count has a big party

entertainment, but it's by invitation only.

You have to get us in.

I see.

I might be able to arrange something.

Tell me, Sydney, how good are you with Roman weapons?

I give you Calpurnia,

the first woman gladiator.

You could have just tried making an appointment.

Calpurnia.

dare to challenge our reigning champion?

Probably some kind. There's a few flashy tricks.

I give you judoka.

All six feet, eight inches.

The

bigger

they are, the harder they fall, right?

My friends, that's the great thing.

I wish to keep you entertained.

And as the ancient Romans, you are easily bored.

You have seen these fights before, but tonight we introduce a new element.

Tonight it will be a battle to the death.

Eh?

Are they authentic?

They appear to be.

But until I can do the actual translation, I must take these with me.

have all my references in my office.

How long will it take?

I will be done by midnight.

Bye, Presto.

I thought I would be doing my translations for Professor Penrose.

I hope he will not be angry with me. He's not going to mind, okay?

Okay. Ciao. Go.

Thumbs up or thumbs down, my friend?

Thumbs up!

Although the audience is

cruel, I believe that you, like the great Caesar, are merciful.

I would spare my most worthy opponent in your honor, Count Onofre.

Very well spoken, my dear.

Very well, in my honor.

Forgive him.

Don't go away. I want to speak to you later.

I get it. We're playing a game.

Let's see what's behind door number two.

Okay.

I give up.

You win.

I'm not very good at this game.

I trust you have some good news for us. Yes.

It's translations?

They're going to be done by midnight. And I'm confident I'm going to be able

deliver the breastplate to you very soon.

I have dreamed of it all my life.

Your reward will be beyond imagination.

The cryptographer, can we trust him?

Nico, he's not a problem. He's a frightened little man.

I think some kind of orgy is getting started.

There is no other impediment.

Barry's a woman, but she's not going to be a problem much longer.

They just mentioned a woman. I think they're talking about Claudia.

You wanted to see me?

Call me as soon as you hear anything.

You were spectacular, Calpurnia.

It was an honor to fight for your countenance.

Who are you, really?

Where did you learn to fight like that?

I prefer to maintain an air of mystery.

I believe men find that more intriguing, no?

Bravo. You're right.

Maybe you and I could get together later.

Ah, nothing would give me greater pleasure.

But I'm afraid I'm quite exhausted.

I prefer to return when I am more energetic.

Sydney! Success!

I appreciate you getting us into the party, but... But what?

I knew it. I knew you were better than Leo Braxi.

Who? What's he calling himself this week? Judicus?

Count on all for his personal trainers.

Vittorio, there was a man at the party.

We think he may know where Claudia is.

Unfortunately, we couldn't follow him, but he did mention a name. Nico.

There are many Nicos in Rome, my friend. This one's a cryptographer.

He's deciphering the alchemist's text.

That would be Nicodonati.

He's the best. Then you know where to find him.

Not really.

You do, don't you? Look, Sidney, I still have to do business in this town.

I won't dump it. Nothing to get Claudia back. Do you understand me?

Let me make a call, okay?

Please.

You did it.

A few difficult places, but... Okay. On a cedar, the breastplate is buried at

the catacomb?

According to the text.

It is made like a map. Uh -huh. It tells you exactly where to turn left, where

to turn right to get to the secret tomb.

You are pleased?

Oh, I'm pleased.

I'm pleased.

This is only half.

Yeah. You're going to get the second half when I find the breastplate. But we

had an agreement.

Hey.

You remember what happened to your cousin Bernini last month?

I will wait for your call.

Do that.

Hey, wake up there, sleeping beauty.

Hey! Isn't it time to go to school?

No. Well, yeah, sure. Okay, kind of.

It's time for you to learn a lesson.

What?

Okay, I'm going to take you on a little trip.

Where are we going?

We're going to go to a historic part of Rome.

That's romantic.

Yeah. Well, I like it.

Oh, I hope so. You're going to be there a long time.

Oh. Yeah.

Sid.

Don't you think we ought to talk about... it?

Talk about what?

Um, about... what happened.

What happened?

Um... you know... it.

Touching our body.

Pressing together.

There was no pressing involved.

Were you pressing, Nigel? No, no, no, not at all. No, no, no pressing,

absolutely not. I mean, I would never even presume to press.

Sorry, I brought it up.

You really think people will believe that that's Harrod's sword?

People will believe what they want to believe.

But I guarantee you I will have fire beating against one another for this.

Ah, Nico -cha.

Thank you very much for coming at such a late hour.

No problem.

You mentioned an emergency job?

Extra pay?

Si.

What's this about?

We're looking for a young woman. Her name's Claudia.

I don't know any Claudia.

If you don't have a job for me, I must go.

Good night, Vittorio.

Arrivederci, America.

Let's start with who hired you to translate the text of Caesar's

Alchemist?

That's just an old legend. I'm sure there's nothing... My friend Claudia's

danger. I don't have time to play games with you. You understand me? I

understand. But I don't know what you're talking about.

Alchemist? Text?

Claudia? I know nothing.

He doesn't understand.

What are you doing?

Nigel, help. What is that?

A kiln.

I lost something in there. I was hoping you'd help me find it. What do you want

me to find? Your memory.

Stop. Let me go.

I remember.

I did the translations for a man named Gianni Piacci. Did you have the last two

pages? Yes, he gave me the full text. Then Gianni has Claudia. Was there an

American woman there?

No.

I didn't see anybody.

I swear it. Where do we find this Gianni? I think you will find him at the

catacombs.

The catacombs, why?

Because that's where the breastplate of Caesar is hidden.

Do the right way.

Towards the lower.

Come on.

No. No.

I don't want to be here. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I ever even got in that cab with

you. Let's go. Come on. Keep walking.

My dad has a lot of money. I don't care about that.

Well, I could call him. He could send you some money if you let me go. No.

on now. Come on.

I think I twisted my ankle. Get up. I can't. I need help.

I never told her how much I really like her.

We're all sparring, but deep down... We'll find her, and she'll be fine.

I know, but I still wish I'd said something.

Ian, you'll have your chance when we find her.

Burial chambers of Roman soldiers.

Perhaps to guard the spirit of an emperor buried nearby.

Good night, my little American.

Sick to death.

That's Claudia.

She's close by.

Another letter's coming from down here.

Gianni Piacci.

Is he wearing what I think he's wearing?

Where's Claudia?

the breastplate, Nigel. But that's a legend.

The

prophecy

says that no living man can hurt the one who wears the breastplate. I guess that

means women too.

A living man can't kill the one who has the breastplate of Caesar.

But a dead man could.

Claudia.

It's coming from here.

We're here, Claudia.

We'll get you out. Hold on.

This must be the lock.

Watch your head.

Oh, no.

Well,

Teaser's breastplate will be the centerpiece of the museum's collection

heavily guarded.

They offered us a million lira reward.

Wow. Oh, I told them to give it to a good cause.

But we could have been millionaires.

Claudia, a millionaire is worth about $500.

Oh.

Nigel, don't you think this is a good time to say to Claudia what you've

been meaning to say?

Me? Um, well, I don't know. I mean, well, you know.

Nigel likes you very much and cares for you a great deal.

Ew. You don't have a crush on me, do you?

Certainly not. No, I just mean I'm very fond of you in a brotherly sort of way.

Nigel, that's great.

It is?

Yeah, because it means you can help me.

That's what friends are for, right?

Help you what?

Well, you can countersign my credit card application.

My dad took my old one away.

Oh, I just remembered an important appointment.

Welcome back, Claudia.

I've just been on the phone with your father.

He's a very relieved man.

Fortunately, not relieved enough to give me my credit card back.

And Professor Fox, you might just be hopping a plane to Rome.

Really? Why? The University Museum has just been offered an incredible find. I

want you to go there and authenticate it.

What is it?

Herod's sword.