Original subtitles

Bye. Yes?

Will we be home before nightfall?

I don't want the baby's first car to be traumatic.

She failed.

All right, all right.

Horrid traffic's all gone.

Oh.

Oh, no more screaming.

He's a weeping mother.

Oh, look at the flower.

Nice cup of tea?

Love one, and God.

Look.

I want to call her something, Frank.

She needs a name.

You can't keep calling her it or the baby.

You hadn't been so convinced she was going to be a boy.

Well, why don't we wait a few days, see what she looks like?

She looked like an angry tomato.

Tom? You know what I mean.

Daddy can't help it. He's very old.

His brain cells are dying at the rate of a million a day.

Right. Kettle's on.

Anything else I can get you?

I'm not a guest. I live here, thank.

I know.

It just seems different somehow.

It is.

Look, I don't want to come between a mother and her firstborn, but how about

cuddle?

I can't get over you being thin again. I'm not thin. My stomach's a baggie.

You're thin enough for me.

Look at that.

That's our baby, that is.

I certainly hope so.

Where is it?

Bit early to start a manicure regime, isn't it?

We can take the neighbour off now.

We're not going to give her back, are we?

Well, I'm very proud of you. I always knew you had it in you.

Stop it!

I'm late.

So we're going out?

I am.

Where? Out.

Where? Family business.

Come with you.

Not a good idea.

Why? Because you haven't met my father.

Ah. Good enough, eh?

OK, then, fine.

Meet the family.

Oh,

damn, Papa. Yuck!

It's time to hang on the questions, Pastor. Come here, let me have a go.

Oh, another thing.

Why didn't you warn me about the sore nipples?

What about them?

Well, you just imagine having some greedy little creature sucking away at

for hours on end. Mummy didn't mean that, darling.

Well, Helen never had a problem with Jade.

Well, whoopee for us, Mother.

Right, now, I'm going to just go and show her a new home.

You have a rest.

Come on, my darling.

My daddy's going to get rid of that nasty poo -poo. Ooh, yuck, smelly.

This is one of the two cartoons.

Listen, I want to eat a cold food.

For example, this is one of the two cartoons. Very cold food.

Look,

fish fingers.

I bet you didn't know that fish had fingers, did you?

And here comes Mummy. The magic word, shall we?

Well, it wasn't fish fingers.

Oh,

Helen.

She used to put jade by the washing machine and the vacuum cleaner. Helen

it soothed her.

Helen, thanks for the helpful hints from our ex -wife.

Yes?

Tacked, Frank.

It's what raises us above the beasts of the field.

I know that face. No, don't. Look.

What are you doing?

My pelvic floor exercises.

How is your pelvic floor?

I think it's got subsided.

I know her face.

The moment I saw her, I recognised her. She looks like you.

And you.

How is that possible?

Magic.

She's a pretty little girl. She's the most beautiful girl in the world, eh?

You know, before, I used to see proud parents cooing over their new babies.

I just wanted to throw up.

Hey, Frankie.

I really know you beautiful thing.

Yes, yes.

Hi,

Dad. Hi, darling.

Dad, this is Nick.

Nick's my dad.

Hello. We haven't called at a bad time, have we?

Wait, you might have phoned.

Tess is very tired, you know. I'm fine, honestly.

Tess.

Hello. Hello, Angel.

There she is. Hello.

Tess, this is Nick. Hello, Nick. Hi.

Let me do something about hair, and then we can all have a drink.

Can you drink?

I thought you weren't allowed to if you were breastfeeding.

I'm allowed one glass a day, any more than that, and the baby gets drunk.

Might not be such a bad idea.

I bought this for my little sister.

Oh, Jade.

It's wonderful.

She'll love it. Look, Frank.

That's very nice, Jade.

Tell you what, we'll keep it for her till she's a bit older, eh?

You know those dolls were only produced from 1930 to 1950?

Really? Yeah, I looked it up.

Are you a collector?

No, I just like looking things up.

Nick's a DJ.

Oh, really?

On the radio?

In clubs, Dad.

He's got the best equipment in London.

Sound equipment.

God, if it was me, I'd have all the pain relief.

Glowing gas, air, morphine, epidural.

What's that story about Mum yelling at the doctor to knock her on the head and

be done with it?

I don't remember that one.

Jane thinks a childbirth is just a way to cut hold of a load of free legal

drugs.

Are we joking?

God, look at the time.

Have you picked a name for her yet?

Well, we did collect a lot of boys' names. We were going to call her

No, we weren't. I like old -fashioned names, like Maiden or Primrose. I think

they're sweet.

Or Marigold. What do you think about Marigold? There's no way we're going to

name our baby after a pair of rubber gloves.

Why did you call me Jade?

I didn't. It was your mother.

You know what a hippie she is.

I mean, I like the name.

Do you know, if I ever do her, I'm going to call it Blanche Flower.

After Danny.

Danny Blanche Flower.

I wonder

what

sort of plonker she's going to bring home, eh?

I can't imagine what she'll be like next week, let alone all grown up.

She's eight days old already.

We haven't even started on the flat cards yet.

Nothing's ever going to be the same again.

Tess, I don't suppose... No.

Just check him.

He never used to be a light sleeper. I know.

God, I thought you'd stopped breathing or something.

I don't reckon anyone's asleep with her lying there so totally dependent.

They're right.

She'll be all right.

If she wants anything, she'll soon let us know.

It's so bad.

She knows us.

Yeah, isn't she lucky?

Now, come on, you can't stay awake for 20 years.

Is that how long it takes before you stop worrying?

That's how long it takes before you think you ought to stop worrying.

In 20 years, you'll be 73.

In 20 years, you'll be lying about your age.

Yeah.

Yeah.

All right, I'll pop in a bit later. Sign a few checks.

But no meetings, all right?

Oh, hang on. There's somebody at the door.

Yeah, let's all go here.

Midwife's here.

Well, she's going to come back later.

I'm glad to see you're taking my advice and getting plenty of rest.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I should have been up.

We had a bad night.

She cried from one o 'clock till five. Every time I got her to sleep and back

into the crib, she started again.

I don't know what's wrong.

She wasn't like this in the hospital.

Well, they never are in hospital. They wouldn't get taken home if they behaved

like that there.

No, stay where you are. I can feel your stomach in bed. I have things to do.

Well, there's nothing so important as taking care of yourself.

You don't mind if the house is a bit untidy for a while, do you? No, of

he doesn't. He knows a new baby takes some getting used to, especially for

moms.

I've work to do.

Exactly.

Now, try and use your own phones, will you?

Get them for a couple of months, a couple of years off.

She won't listen to me.

Actually, I kept working with my children.

I've got four.

How about in the afternoon?

We'll do it with them. All right, then.

I'll try. I can take it out for you. No, no, no. I'll take it. She wants her.

OK. Bye -bye, baby.

Bye. Thank you for coming. Thank you.

Foiled again, Carver. She has four.

But she took maternity leave. I'm taking maternity leave. Look, taking maternity

leave means staying at home looking after yourself and the baby.

Not running the Boundback Foundation from the front room. Stop worrying. I'm

fine. I can cope.

We can both cope.

What do you think of Celeste as a name?

Terrible. Me too.

Hello? Hello, Laverne, yes.

Yeah, I'm working hard.

Well, that was the plan.

No, she's fast asleep.

You in?

Yeah, yeah.

How's it going, then?

Not bad.

No, it's going very well.

I mean, Tessa and I are totally knackered and the baby's got leather

but... Yeah, I'm enjoying it.

Got a name for her yet?

No, not yet.

But we're definitely not calling her Maxine, so don't get yourself

Right, that's me done for the day.

You fancy a swift half before you go back to the treadmill?

Not today, Max.

Oh.

What?

Well, I sort of promised someone.

It's important.

Honest.

Up we come.

There, there, there.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

There's a good girl.

So, the bottom line is, she's got to sell the business.

And she needs someone a bit sharp to look out for her.

So he just keeled over, eh? He didn't exactly keel over. He was under a car.

Was he?

He slid under on one of those skateboard jobs.

So check it out.

Well, he'd been under there the best part of an hour or so.

So somebody thought it was a bit strange.

And they hauled him out.

And he was as stiff as his skateboard.

Heart attack.

And he was only 55.

Makes you think, doesn't it?

Especially with his youngest, still in primary school.

Hello? Marshall?

No, no, I was just going through them.

Now?

Yeah, it's 20.

Yeah, got that.

Sorry,

I didn't quite get what you said.

I'll text that to you later.

Fine.

Fine, Marge.

OK. Bye.

Hello, Max.

Hello, love.

Francis Kelly.

This is Frank, my friend I told you about.

Hello, Francis. Nice to meet you.

I've filled him in on your situation.

Yes, I'm sorry to hear about your husband. It must have been an awful

Oh, it was terrible, Mr Carver.

But it's very good of you to offer to help me out. Very Christian.

It's my pleasure.

May I have a look around?

Yes, of course.

Yes, not a bad sight, actually.

Quite a bit of undeveloped land round the back.

Oh, well, just give me a couple of guesstimates.

Just so I've got something to work on.

Yeah.

Thanks, Ken.

OK. Will you fax them to me at home?

Thank you.

Busy day?

I don't know who wanted the most attention, Marshall or the baby.

We just got up.

Not just.

Is pasta with garlic and tomatoes all right? I haven't had a chance to think

about shopping.

Yeah, fine by me.

How do you think she's going to take a cold plate of more?

Oh, that reminds me. Could you pop up to the chemist and get me some calendula

cream? For the pasta?

My cracked nipples.

Cracked? They were only sore yesterday.

It's progress, Frank.

Look. Why don't you let me get you a nanny?

We've talked about this.

Yeah, but now she's home, I thought you might... Can I change my mind?

She's my baby. I can take care of her. I want to take care of her.

And I can take care of the foundation as well.

What?

Is swanning around the kitchen half -naked your idea of taking care of me?

Because it works.

Welcome to Bound, Blackwell.

Yes, welcome to Bound.

Hi.

Tessa!

Oh, you brought the baby!

You noticed.

You look well.

Leaving the rat race, obviously, 50.

It's very relaxing. You ought to try it.

Me? No, thanks. I'm hopeless with babies. You didn't stop me.

Oh, sorry, Tessa.

We're going to have a nice drink of milk in Mummy's office.

Mm -hm.

Yes, it's a very interesting proposal, but funds are quite restricted at the

moment.

Well, it used to be money, darling.

Yeah, OK.

I'm acting for Mrs Kelly.

No, not a solicitor, just a friend who knows a bit about the motor trade.

Yeah, I understand you're interested in inquiring the site last year.

Well, Mrs Kelly's ready to do a deal now.

Yes.

I know property prices have softened.

But you want to increase your market share.

And you did pay $750 ,000 for a similar site in Acton last month.

Yeah.

Yeah, softening would be fine.

I'm going to have to talk to Marshall about the creche facility.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, um... Yeah, look, I'll call you back, all right? Yeah.

No, no, no, don't get up, Malcolm. You look so sad.

I wasn't expecting you.

No, I just popped in to show the baby off.

Perhaps I should have run. Everyone was so busy.

Well, I'm glad to see her.

She's asleep now.

Oh, she's beautiful.

Well, I think so. You don't have to agree.

I was wondering how you were all coping without me.

You seem to be coping very well, Malcolm.

Um, Marshall asked me to keep an eye on the foundation in your absence.

Not anything more than checking the post, really.

What does he mean, in my absence?

I'm working at home, as he very well knows. He's on the phone to me all day.

Why didn't he mention this?

Maybe he thought... Maybe he thought it would piss me off. Well, he's right. It

does.

Sorry, Tess.

Don't get too comfortable I shall return

Hello, baby. I'm your new friend.

You missed your meeting.

How do you know?

I rate facts from Benetton Sharp Limited.

Oh, well.

Just have to hope they think I'm playing hard to get.

How's the foundation?

Still there.

Still ticking over.

Try not to sound so disappointed.

I'm still running the foundation, Frank, even though I'm not in the office.

Let me hold her. You wash her. OK.

Come on, my darling. I haven't seen you all day, have I? Come on, baby, yes.

Oh, yes.

You hold her bum.

Uh -huh. And I'll hold her head.

Yeah. Do you think she likes it? She's not bawling yet, is she?

I just

felt

out of place going in there today.

Well, you're not the same.

You're a mother now.

Yes, but that shouldn't change anything.

But it does, doesn't it?

Changes everything.

Who's a good girl. All lovely and clean for a special visitor tomorrow.

Oh.

Sorry, they're black. We've run out of milk.

That's all right.

There's some long life in the cupboard, Frank.

No, no, I'll get it.

So, what do you think about your granddaughter, then?

You know, I'd forgotten how small they are.

Very rarely I get the chance to hold a baby these days.

She's perfectly charming, isn't she? Yeah.

Tess was looking peaky.

Yeah, well, she's a bit tired, you know. So am I, come to that.

New baby, up all night, all that stuff, you know.

She's probably absolutely exhausted.

She's not exactly a young mother, is she?

God, blimey, don't you let her hear you say that.

Oh,

that's lovely, aren't you?

Talk to her.

I want to wake her up.

Oh, here's Mum. No, no, no, no.

No.

She has your eyes, Tess.

She does that thing with her mouth that you used to do.

Yeah, picket looks, carve a brain. It's a good combination.

I had a brain once.

I think it came out with the afterbirth.

Sorry,

Daddy. Come on, let me put her down after you for a rest.

Should we let her sleep?

I mean, maybe if we keep her awake all day, she wouldn't keep us awake all

night. No.

Say goodbye to Grendith. Bye -bye, Grendith.

Bye -bye, Mummy.

Adorable.

Not bad for 53.

I don't want to embarrass you too much, but...

Well done, Tessa.

Jolly well done.

How do you know she's got enough milk?

Sorry?

Sometimes she sucks and sucks, and I feel there's nothing there.

Other times... Oh, my experience makes new mothers worry about that.

It's a case of perseverance.

At times like this, a girl misses her mother.

Why couldn't I have done this when Mummy was still alive?

Seems so unfair she'll never know.

I do miss her.

I like to think she does know.

There.

That's better.

We don't normally dress for dinner in Bohemian Chiswick, do we?

Oh.

I say, Tessa, I'm awfully sorry. I forgot to tell you, didn't I?

I'm going out tonight.

Going out?

Yes. My friend, the friend who brought me down here, we

thought we'd go and have a look at a show. You know, nothing ever comes to

You don't like shows.

Yes, I do.

That's probably for me.

I've come for Dr. Pickett.

Oh, come in.

Olivia, my dear, you look splendid.

Thank you, Archie.

This is Frank, my son -in -law.

I hope I'm not too early.

Not at all, not at all.

This is Terence, my daughter.

I'd like you both to meet Olivia Truckle.

My, um... Partner in crime.

Hello.

Of course, my leading lady days are well behind me, but I usually play a small

comedy role.

I'm trying to persuade Archie to read for our next production, Annie.

Don't you think he's Daddy Warbucks? She's teasing me, Tessa. She's heard my

singing voice.

No, I'll stick with the scene shifting, thank you.

We missed the treat here. You didn't tell me your dad was into amateur

I didn't know.

You are leading a busy life these days, Dad.

Well, Tessa, I... I don't feel my life so empty

anymore.

I, um... Well, If you'll excuse me, I have to get on with it. Just a moment,

Tessa. You'd better hurry. If you don't want to miss your show, you won't find

anywhere to park.

Right, yes.

I suppose you really had better.

You ready?

Quite.

It was nice meeting you, Tessa. Sorry I missed the baby. Perhaps another time?

Yes.

Good night, Tess.

Don't wait up.

Not so dramatic.

My mother took up violin lessons once, and the comments she had to endure about

middle -aged women with artistic pretensions, she gave up in the end.

Well, he seems to be happy.

I don't care. He shouldn't be... I know it must seem strange to you to see your

dad out with a lady friend.

I don't suppose he wanted to see a baby at all. He wanted to see a West End

show. Don't be so bloody stupid.

Look, your mother's been gone two years.

She must be lonely. Don't you think I am?

She was always there.

She hung on my nerves.

And I didn't phone, but she was always... And then she wasn't anymore

didn't really make any difference because I didn't phone her anyway.

But I didn't know what it was like before being a mother. I didn't know.

Come. God, what a bloody good mother she was.

Oh, come on.

I want her back.

Now

I

know why they think God's a man.

Mom.

Mud, glorious mud, nothing quite like it for cooling the

mud. So follow me, follow, down to the hollow, and

there let us wallow in glorious mud.

Yours were turned off.

Nonsense. You used to love me singing to you.

You must promise to bring her up soon for a good long visit.

Will Olivia be going back with you?

No, she had to go on to Exeter, some varsity gathering.

So she didn't have to come up to London?

I suppose not, really.

I, um... Wanted me to meet her.

Yes.

More to the point, wanted you to like her.

I'll try.

I'm very happy, Tessa.

Much happier than I've been for a very long time.

Much happier than you were with me.

I didn't make her happy either, I know.

I'm a bit of a shit to her, putting it bluntly.

I wish I hadn't been.

Hello. Darling.

She's very quiet.

Grandad's got the muck.

I'll leave you to it.

What?

Well, normally I'd expect the baby to have regained her birth weight by now.

Regained? Yes, they all lose a pound or two the first week, but then they put it

back on again.

Are you having trouble feeding her?

No, not really.

Maybe you could do with some help.

Lovely. It's not the end of the world, Tess.

Millions of babies are bottle -fed.

What do you know about it, Daddy? You didn't even realise she was underweight.

You were bottle -fed, you know.

It doesn't mean your mother didn't love you.

I know.

Here we are.

The answer to your prayer.

One breast pump.

I suppose there are instructions with it.

Well, it's fairly straightforward.

You sort of place it over the... It's common sense, really.

Well, come on, then. Give it a whirl.

Well, if it doesn't work, you're doing the 3M food cover.

Did I ever tell you that I was a Boy Scout?

That'll be my taxi.

You think my parents stayed together because of me?

Don't ask me.

It's not just us now, is it?

I couldn't just walk out and say, that's it, I never want to see you again.

Well, neither could I.

Do you want to?

No, of course not.

Why, do you?

Only sometimes.

Hello?

Yeah. Hold on.

Thank it for you.

I rate Bennett and Sharp Motors.

Come on.

Hello, Frank Carver.

Oh, yeah. Didn't you get my message?

Well, I told your secretary I couldn't make the meeting.

Well, she said she was your secretary.

Yeah.

Well,

actually, I don't think there's much point anymore.

We've had another very interesting offer.

Oh, please.

I'm acting for a widowed family friend.

Now, would I risk trying to bluff an international company?

No, it's just that they've offered more than you were prepared to give last

year.

Well, if you don't think it's a waste of time.

Ten o 'clock tomorrow?

Yeah, fine.

Bye.

Lying hound, Frank Carver.

Hi. Sorry, I'll wait here.

It's all right.

She sounds happy.

You know, I don't know about this breastfeeding cable, but if this is

like it.

Alice.

What?

Alice through the looking glass.

Alice.

I like that.

Alice, come.

Yeah, I like it.

Thank God for that.

What about a middle name?

Oh, Frank.

Mrs.

Kelly.

Frank?

Okay.

Done. Fine. Thank you.

How did you get them to pay so much?

By playing hard to get.

I don't suppose there's any chance of a discount on a new motor.

We won't stay long, will we?

We don't have to go at all if you don't want to. No, I don't want to disappoint

Malcolm. Oh, rubbish.

You're burning my curiosity to see this woman he's fallen for.

Maybe we should take Alice with us. No, no.

Now, come on.

We need a rest.

Jade's got the number of the restaurant. If there's any problem, she'll ring us.

We can call her, too. Yes, we can call her.

No, no, come on.

Well, I don't know much about boxing, but I used to be a mud wrestler.

This conversation's stopping.

It was years ago.

Girlfriend and I were travelling around America. We were completely broke.

Seemed like a good idea at the time.

We were useless.

We kept getting the giggles.

Well, can you imagine me in a skimpy little leotard rolling around in the

I have no problems with that concept.

Of course, I'm now a thoroughly responsible shop owner.

Responsible? You're always forgetting to go to work. Oh, isn't he a slave to

industry? But I'm going to convert him.

So this is the first time that you've been out without the baby, then, Tessa?

Feels very odd. I could come out without a limb or something. I know. I keep

looking as if there's anything missing.

Have you got any kids?

No, to be quite honest, I never wanted any.

Perhaps I'm selfish, but I always thought the children would get in the

me being me.

Oh, God, does it have to be like that?

In a funny sort of way, I feel complete now.

Completely knackered.

Where are we going after this?

Home. Oh, come on, Nick.

I just want to go home.

Honey, I've arranged to meet some people.

What people?

Jez and Simon and that crowd.

They're all right.

Don't get all defensive.

You're going to go where they're going, aren't you?

You won't get round me like that.

Where is your shop? In Camden Passage. Oh, please, let me... Excuse me. I do

60s stuff. You know, clothes, records, badges, toys.

Toys? Hey, you haven't got a chitty -chitty bang -bang car, have you? Afraid

haven't. It'd be worth a fortune if I did.

Lovely dinner. Thank you, Malcolm.

You're welcome.

Did you get my fax from the Braski Institute?

Yes. I was... What?

Sorry. I was going to be a bit boring and talk shop.

I bet you'd like to forget all about the Foundation now, wouldn't you?

No.

You don't know how I long for someone to talk shop to me.

I thought Baumblatt satisfied your requirements on that front.

Marshall is just pestering me, hassling me, provoking me.

What I really need is to be back in that office, getting on with things, and not

just...

Guilt.

You know what I mean?

Did you enjoy yourself?

No need to ask if you did.

I'll go and see if Alice is all right.

Do you think we just forgot about her?

No, we're just not used to leaving her yet.

Expect she was the same with you.

No, he didn't have any problems leaving me.

Jade, you know how much your father thinks of you.

Of course.

Come on, Nick, we've got to go.

Fast asleep.

Good. I'm sorry, Dad. I didn't realise we were supposed to sit over the cradle.

Shut up, Jade.

It's OK.

Father knows I'm only joking, don't you, Father?

I hope so.

What is it with Jade, eh?

She's different so now these days. I don't like it.

She's probably feeling insecure with you. There's the new baby. She's not the

little girl anymore. She's 22.

I mean, she's got a great job. She's got her own home.

He's bothered with Alice.

There's something else.

Him, probably. Nick.

I don't like him.

He's changed her.

She should have been looking after Alice, not cavorting about on a bloody

What is this? The Vice Squad?

Do you fancy a bit of advice?

Not really, but don't let that stop you. Oh, I'm sorry, of course, I forgot.

Six weeks ban. There's no need to make me feel guilty about it. You don't mind

making me feel guilty, do you? And insensitive.

I mean, as if I'd try to pressurise you into anything.

I never said anything about pressurising. I want to do it as much as

Oh.

Really? Well, that changes everything, doesn't it? Come on, you wanted it.

Come on, let's do it.

Hey, hey, all I really wanted to do is to hold you close.

As seductions go, that's a better line.

Have you let me walk around all night with only one earring?

I thought it was rather fetching.

Oh, my God, what Malcolm must have thought of me.

Here I am trying to show the world how well I'm coping, and I can't even

remember to put my other earring on. What a giveaway, eh?

I'm sure the world thinks you're doing fine.

I should be.

I don't know what's so difficult in theory. In practice, nothing makes sense

anymore.

And then there's this constant fear that if I'm not very careful, I'm just going

to explode.

There's not just cracked nipples.

I won't let anything bad happen.

Look, you can't do it all yourself.

It's not a sign of weakness or failure. It's a fact.

So, why don't I stay at home and look after her for a couple of days a week?

You can go into the office.

What?

You stay at home and look after Alice?

Yeah. Well, why not?

I mean, you saw what a fantastic garros deal I pulled off because I couldn't

remember to make a meeting.

Anyway.

When I look at this little thing, I try to remember what Jay looked like at this

age.

There's nothing to remember.

I don't want that to happen again.

Will it work?

Why not?

Tell you what, we'll do it on the rotor system.

Three days at work, two at home. On weekends, we'll all be together, all of

It'll work if you stop feeling guilty.

It's just that simple.

Oh, Alan Marshall.

You can explain it all to him in the morning.

It's a six -week thing.

You know what the doctors advise?

It's not compulsory.

It can turn you upside down Oh, how love hurts So you'd better run and

hide But remember Love hurts you just the same

Love

hurts you you

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