Original subtitles

Could be a plate of porridge.

No, look, there's some.

Are you sure?

Of course I'm not sure. What do you think it is?

A skateboard?

Hey, I can see it's a cobbl... Excuse me.

I mean, I think it's a boy.

It is, isn't it?

A second ago you said it looked like a plate of porridge.

It's ridden me.

Ever

helped you to

control the pain is the right thing for you to do, believe me.

And if that's deep breathing, use it, or clutching a bedpost, anything.

Okay.

Now, imagine the contraction is reaching its peak, and it

really hurts now.

Close your eyes.

Really imagine it.

Guys, if you want to give your partners a good pinch, it'll help them to

visualize. Sorry.

Sorry.

Come on, let me see that pinching.

Come on. Sorry, Emily. Whatever missed. Feel the pain.

Feel this now.

Okay.

Relaxation time.

Sit down.

Now.

Why don't you try that new talent?

Sorry, I can't. Too much paperwork.

Here, take it easy.

All right, I will.

It's got a lot to catch up on before this emerges.

It's all right.

I'm not ill. I'm just having a baby.

What do you mean, just?

Yeah, what happened to you?

Sorry. I got halfway to Tottenham Park when I realised where you'd been

chipping.

Hey, come upstairs and I want to show you something.

Show me down there.

No, I can't.

Down.

Marshall's coming over.

Here? God forbid, no.

He wants to set up a meeting for tomorrow.

My punks must have been pregnant.

Better warn the man.

Get on with the papers.

Forget bound black. Now, come on upstairs. I want to show you what a good

I am. I know what a good daddy you are. Hey, have I told you lately that I love

you?

Occasionally.

Oh, God, I can't wait till we can get back to normal.

Don't be so unadventurous, Frank.

Oh.

Oh.

I'm getting my own back. Now, come upstairs.

Okay, now, I hate this. I hate this.

Okay, open them.

Ah, that's the plan.

Right now I'm more interested in being a very spoiled expectant mother.

Nice cup of tea?

Lovely. Then you can rub anti -stretchmark cream all over my vast

What about all your paperwork?

You rub, I'll read.

Malcolm.

I am not a number. I am a free man.

I cannot let Marshall hear you talking like that.

Thank you, Malcolm.

Was it good for you?

Wonderful.

Relaxing and happy and wonderful.

Malcolm. Well, you managed to escape then. Did you get those quarterly

reports finished, Livonne?

Naturally. Great.

One for me, one for you, one for Malcolm and one for Mr. Baumblatt.

Baumblatt? He's not... Not till this afternoon.

Good thing he didn't arrive a day early.

Finding company faculty playing hooky at a prisoner convention. I did mean to

come back yesterday, but I allowed myself to be persuaded to stay an extra

night. Oh?

What's her name?

Who?

Malcolm.

Andrew.

So, was it a weekend of passion on the windswept Welsh coast, or are your

destinies enfolded to be entwined forever?

I thought you'd given up reading Mills and Boone.

Well, they're all right now. They've got some sex in them.

Actually, I am going to see her again.

She lives in Chalk Farm.

Better get ready for Baumblatt, I suppose.

Poor Malcolm.

Poor Malcolm, he was dying to tell her.

That's a lot of merchandise.

No, no, I'm still interested. I think I can shift it, yes.

Oh, very funny, Stanley. You should stick that in a cracker.

That's all right. Carry on.

It won't be long from now.

Wonderful.

The dance company is not only dancers, technicians,

composers, costume, transport.

The state cannot pay for it.

But bone -blood funding can save 40 jobs.

Is that pushy enough for you?

Entirely.

Worth $100 ,000 of any foundation's money, I say.

She's great.

Dad, Dad.

Who did this remind you of?

Max.

Do you know, Tessa would have loved this.

Why didn't she come?

Oh, business pressures.

Surprise, surprise.

Would you still work if you're eight months gone?

I suppose it all depends how indispensable I am by then.

Yeah, well, that's Tessa's problem.

Indispensability. I blame it all on Maggie Thatcher. Really?

No, not really.

Talking of indispensability, I closed a really good deal. Oh, look at that.

Isn't that beautiful?

A baby will love this.

No childhood's complete without a rocking horse.

I've never had one.

No, well, when you were born, you were living in two rooms in a shared

This time it's going to be different. This baby's going to have the lot.

Is that it?

Are we all done, gentlemen?

£600.

£650.

£700.

£700 I am offered.

Are we all done, gentlemen?

Sold for £700 to number 720.

Thank you, Mr Carver, sir.

£700 for a rocking horse? Well, what does money matter when you really want

something? Come on, let's go. Not yet.

There might be something I want to buy.

These are not toy shop prices, you know.

and I'm not earning pocket money.

Mine?

Fursa! Marshal!

You're looking radiant. Is that the correct term? You look radiant, too.

So, how are you feeling, huh? Everything okay?

Look, if it all gets too much for you... Marshal, I'm fine. If it weren't for

this medicine ball on my jumper and visiting the loo twice an hour, you'd

know who's pregnant.

It looks like we're in pretty good shape.

Thank you.

There's just one other thing I'd like to discuss with Mr. Morrison.

Go ahead.

Did you see my fax on the Modern Dance Company of Poland?

Rings no bells.

But before you start your sales pitch, did you get my fax about no new

It's only a question of a few thousand.

I'm sorry, Tiff, but I can't support any new projects until interest rates start

going up.

Isn't that a little drastic, Marshal?

I still have money in the contingency fund.

Maybe you'll need it.

Look, when I started this thing, our money was making 11 .5 on the money

Now it's making 6 .0.

So what about the dance company?

I told them.

You shouldn't have.

You knew I was flying in.

I'm sorry, Marshall.

I just assumed as director of the foundation I had a certain amount of

discretion.

Hey, easy mistake to make.

Ah, why are pregnant women so...

You're still running the foundation.

Just in a climate of increased financial prudence, that's all.

Besides, does the world really need a bunch of Polacks and baggy tights

converting to musique concrète?

Are you forbidding me even putting the project before the board?

Of course not.

That would be unwarranted interference.

Put it to the board, then I'll put my point of view.

125, 150.

175.

Let it go. It's not worth it.

It doesn't matter when you really want something.

200 pounds.

200 pounds I am offered.

Sold at 200 pounds to number 721.

Can we go now? Yes.

You know you was brought, don't you?

I'll tell you what, let this one be on me, huh?

Dad, you don't buy me dolls anymore.

And as I'm paying for it, I don't think the price is anything.

I'm going to have to get used to having this high -earning daughter, aren't I?

Look, I've got to make tracks.

Would you like me to drop you somewhere?

No, I'm fine.

Sure? Yeah.

Lovely.

Oh, it's wonderful.

It is, isn't it?

You were right, and so was Marshall. I am working too hard, and now I'm

hallucinating. Well, don't you like them? Flares are back in fashion, you

So I heard.

Your feet have disappeared.

I know. Well, they are a bit long, aren't they?

So, so what's the deal?

Bankrupt stock.

I should have guessed.

No, no, a pal of mine.

He bought a couple of warehouses and found 25 ,000 of these gathering dust.

So I think I can sell 24 ,999 to India.

Right, I'll go for it.

What happened to the other one?

Well, I didn't want to disappoint the Victorian Albert Museum.

It's a bit Arthur Daly for you, Frank.

No, it's just a commodity test, something to buy from yourself.

This little deal of mine's going to make more money than you'll earn in a year.

Is this your unsubtle way of telling me you'd like me to give up work and become

an old -fashioned mum?

No. No, no, of course not.

Unless you want to.

I don't.

Ah, that's fine.

Well, I thought you'd slip upstairs and get into something less groovy, then.

Unless, of course, you'd like to come out and take advantage of me while I'm

my boxer shorts.

I'd love to.

But I have to finish this report for tomorrow's meeting.

I see.

It's all right, then.

Sorry, love, but I can't go into the ring with Marshall without feeling

completely brief.

No.

You'll go in completely shattered, though, can't you?

Look, he's determined to give me a hard time.

I almost think he's hoping I'll resign in a fit of pique. Well, I won't. No,

you'll stay on in a fit of pique, though.

Look.

He knows you're good.

Of course he does.

But I've been unfaithful, haven't I?

Allowed myself to become impregnated. I mean, if I was utterly devoted to the

Foundation and him, I wouldn't be having a baby, would I? Well, then why don't

you just chuck it in?

I mean, go in tomorrow and tell them you're leaving. That's it. You don't

to see Bambler anymore.

But I don't want to leave.

Frank, when we first met, what was the thing that really attracted you to me?

Your bum.

It was my independence.

The fact that I had a career.

Wasn't a demanding, dependent female.

Well, of course, that.

Plus your bum.

Then you'll know having a baby isn't enough.

Unless I make that choice.

It's not me.

I mean, would you give up work to look after it full -time with any man?

Oh, don't be daft.

Of course I wouldn't.

I want our life to be perfect.

And having this job, a job I feel is valuable.

Well, I don't know. I just want it all, I suppose.

Hey, I'll tell you what.

Why don't you go through your report?

I'll massage you every inch of your body.

The report might...

You may have had a slight show, but you don't seem to be having any

contractions.

You'll be happy to know there's no foetal distress.

Pags of parental distress, though, Ed.

We can take you off the machine now.

Oh, good. I won't be too late for my meeting.

I'm sorry, Mrs. Carver, but I would like to keep you in for 24 hours, so we can

keep an eye on you.

At your age, we like to be careful.

I'm afraid you'll have to stay on the ward.

She has a private room available at the moment.

Doctor, may I have a word?

Well,

we made love last night. You don't think I could have brought things on, do you?

Not especially.

Personally, I recommend sex in pregnancy.

God knows it's rare enough afterwards.

Ring Laverne and tell her to get over here straight away.

Oh, and I'll need a phone.

I suppose there's a fax machine around here somewhere.

They probably sell office equipment in a hospital gift shop. Frank, you don't

honestly expect me to lie here all day and do nothing, do you? Yes, I do,

actually. You heard what the doctor said. Quote, at your age, you've got to

very careful. I'm fine.

Yeah, that's why you're here in the National Health Bed.

Exactly. What harm can befall me?

Terrible things will happen to you.

Don't ring Laverne and get me a blood and telephone.

In fact, give me yours.

I haven't got mine.

I never go anywhere. No, I haven't got it. I left it at home. I don't believe

you. I left it at home. Stop it. Stop it.

I'll get you a telephone.

Thank you.

See you later.

Hello. Hello.

Is that your hubby?

Yes, that's right.

Frank.

My hubby.

Have you had difficult pregnancies before, then?

This is my first.

Really?

Been trying a long time, have you? A friend of mine tried for years and

He tried everything, even the test tube thingy.

In the end, they put their names down for adoption and, of course, bang, she

in the club.

Really?

Were you trying a long time?

Not really.

Oh, I hope you don't think I'm nosy.

Only I've been in here nearly a month and it's so nice to have someone new to

talk to.

She never speaks.

You've been here a month?

Well, I always have really difficult pregnancies.

This is my fourth baby.

I lost two, so they keep me in now.

Oh, how awful.

Oh, you get used to it.

At least I get a break from the others.

Actually, I had the last one private.

But my Alan's cash flow isn't so hot, you know, what with the recession.

And our medical insurance doesn't cover what they call chronic conditions.

Like not having a proper floor to your room.

How long are you in for?

Just overnight.

They say.

Still, you never know, though, do you?

It might pop out this afternoon.

Well, I don't have a lot to do with the fashion business, but these came to me

as a job lot. That's how I like to get rid of them.

Of course, price is negotiable.

They're a very good price, Mr Carver. Very fine quality.

There is one problem, though.

Nobody in India is wearing flared trousers anymore. It's, er, very old

-fashioned.

Well, that one's lovely there, with the footmark.

Mm.

Shall I put these in the autobahn for you?

Oh, highlight of the day, lunch.

But I didn't order any. You get what the girl who had your bed yesterday

ordered.

She was very partial to liver.

Thank you.

Hardly ever eats and never speaks.

You'll get used to the food.

You have to if you don't want to starve.

It was funny once.

One of the mums got so cheesed off, she phoned pizza call and ordered 25.

They had to send a fleet of bikes.

At last!

I was beginning to think Frank hadn't run you.

Fambler had me running about all morning.

Well, he's got his own secretary with him, but no, he wants to keep her fresh

for the board meeting.

What? But he's got to postpone it. I mean, if I can't be there... That's what

told him.

Did you?

Well done.

What did he say? He promised not to do anything you'd hate him for.

Slippery as ever.

Anyway, how are you? How's the bump?

Fine, fine.

Fed up.

I hope you brought me something besides flowers.

I knew I should have got you grapes.

No, today's post.

The agenda for the meeting. Yes, yes, it's all in my bag. Good, I thought

Frank had accidentally told me to forget it all.

Sorry, sorry, would you mind? Does your boss expect you to work while you're in

here?

I am the boss.

The next item on the agenda is the funding of new projects.

Tessa and I have agreed to disagree on this one, but I don't want to appear to

bully you all to support my position in her absence.

So what do you say we shelve this item until the meeting after next?

She should be back by then, I trust?

How are you feeling?

OK. A bit of a stomach ache.

What? Rigid for liver.

Really? Lunch. Liver.

Had one mouthful, one for many.

You won't be feeling hungry then? I'm ravenous.

Good.

How did you... Working class. Know about hospital food.

Probably why I love you.

Street cred.

Not Indian, is it?

Relax.

Spring rolls, rice, chicken and black bean sauce, green sprouts.

Oh, not forgetting.

Looks like you only forgot one thing.

Sorry. Couldn't bring China tea without spilling it.

Where's my phone?

You have brought me one.

Great.

Honestly, anybody think you've been shipwrecked for ten years?

Laverne, it's me. What happened?

He did what?

We're postponing discussion for two months with Pantamount to signing the

company's death warrant.

We should get her to calm down a bit.

Can't we do no blood pressure any good? Nor mine.

No, let me speak to him. No, I'll hold.

Tessa. What?

Eat.

She'll call you later.

I'm going to have to talk to him, Frank. Just leave it, huh?

Look, you're going to see him tomorrow.

It doesn't do any good getting into a row when you're really angry.

Yeah.

Maybe it's best not to talk to him now.

I'd only tell him where to stick his job.

What?

Oh, I'm sorry, would you like some?

Oh, no, no, no, I couldn't. Oh, go on, there's loads.

Oh, well, maybe one of them spring rolls.

Sorry about my fingers.

May I?

Yeah.

She's quite a character, isn't she?

Yeah, she is.

Only don't tell her I said that. Only encourage her.

Been reading your notes?

Pay no attention to the bit about being an elderly prima gravida.

That's any first -time mother over the age of 18.

According to this, you're not a first -time mother, though, are you?

You've had a baby.

He never told me.

I had a baby.

What did you have then? An abortion?

Something like that.

Okay, yes, an abortion.

Why

didn't

you tell me?

We've been together two years.

Been married twice.

I had to read about it in your notes.

I never told you because I don't think it's anything to do with you, Frank.

You told the doctors, though.

Oh, don't be so... Well, why did we get married?

Why did we decide to have a family if you're nothing to do with me?

All right.

I had an abortion. It was a long time ago.

I thought about it a lot and decided it was for the best. I still... Think I did

the right thing.

But it was me.

It's nothing to do with us.

You wouldn't have told me about this if I hadn't read about it in your notes.

Obviously not.

Well, how is that supposed to make me feel, huh?

It's not supposed to make you feel any particular way.

Well, I'm sorry.

But I do feel something.

What?

I don't know, Tessa.

I don't know.

Everything okay?

Fine, thank you.

Louise?

Are you OK?

What do you think?

No.

They want to induce me tomorrow.

I'm two weeks late.

So she does talk.

Yeah, I heard her tell you.

She hardly eats, never speaks.

Never speak to her.

She gets right on my tits. Oh.

So is your partner going to be pregnant?

Could he?

I mean, I haven't seen him visit, have I?

No, he doesn't want to know.

As soon as I told him I was pregnant, he was out of it.

He said I should get rid of it.

We'd be okay if I got rid of it.

But you can't say that. to someone.

I mean, it's just blackmail, isn't it?

I wasn't trying to trap him.

I just wanted to go through with it.

I wish I hadn't.

I mean, what am I going to do with a baby?

I think they're coming every three minutes now.

Shall we call the midwife? No, no.

In a minute.

Try to breathe through it.

Don't hold your breath. Try to relax.

Does it get worse?

I don't know.

This is your first.

God, you're brave at your age.

That's good, that's good. Now, come on.

Try to keep moving. Gravity helps.

I only went to one antenatal class.

I hated being on my own.

And all my mates were saying, you're never going to get another bloke.

Not with a baby.

How's it going?

Too bloody quickly.

All right, let's get you on to delivery then and have a good look at you. Come

on. Can you come with me?

No. I'm sorry, it's not really allowing me. No, I don't want to do it on my

place. You'll be fine.

You'll be fine, Louise.

Come on.

I'll phone your mum.

She thinks I'm a stupid cow. She won't come.

I bet she does.

Morning, Tricia.

Oh, morning, Mr Virgil.

Good morning, Mrs... Oh, why here? I missed all the excitement last night.

And she too?

Yes, just like Carver.

Ah, Mrs Carver.

Hello, how are you? If you'd just like to pop into bed, we'll see about sending

you home.

Pop?

Any word on Louise?

Three -hour labour, seven -pound baby boy, mother and baby doing well. Oh,

My favourite cliché.

100 ,000 centimille.

Va bene.

Ciao.

It's amazing.

I can't actually describe it.

I've never felt anything like this before.

Postnatal elation?

Must be.

Do you want to hold him? May I? Yeah.

Come here, you.

Oh, welcome.

Welcome.

Did you

start

without me?

The cat belongs to Louise.

He's beautiful.

We're having a boy.

I saw his watch. It's on the scan.

Let's go home, eh?

Yeah. Thanks.

Bye.

I tried to phone you last night.

I tried to phone you last night.

Look, about the abortion.

You're right, it's got nothing to do with me.

If it had been mine, would you have told me?

If it had been yours, I wouldn't have had it.

The abortion, I mean.

You'd have had the baby?

Yeah.

Even if you found out you were expecting after we split up?

Yeah.

Am I

an

idiot?

Jade's asked me out for lunch today. She's feeling fussed. Do you want to

along, or do you want to go home and rot?

Neither. You're not going back to work?

No point. I've had enough of Bandluck for one week.

No, I'm going shopping.

Listen, there is no way you're lugging carrier bags around Bolstreet in your

condition.

Here, Tess.

What about these?

You put them on its little feet... And when it waggles them around, its bells

ringing.

Do you want me to find out if they make them in your size, Max?

Is everything all right, sir?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, fine. Thank you.

Don't you like the food, Dad?

Yes, I do. The food's great.

So's the company.

I just didn't get much sleep last night at all.

Jess is OK, though, isn't she?

Oh, yeah, she's fine.

Just another force of love.

Anyway, not long now.

All those sleepless nights and smelly nappies. Bet you can't wait.

Listen, I may not have been the most prolific nappy changer when you were a

baby, but I'm prepared to give it a go or two.

What was I like?

What? When I was a baby.

Fine.

No, you weren't.

You were great.

Great big eyes, red hair, great big scream. Oh, my God.

Yeah, you could scream.

I remember I used to drive you round and round the streets at night and the car

trying to get you to sleep.

I suppose the first baby is always a bit special.

Yeah.

Mind you, it's been so long now. This one feels like the first one.

Max!

Max!

What?

My waters are broken.

Are you sure?

No, of course I'm bloody sure.

What shall I do? Find a taxi if you don't want to deliver it yourself.

God, where's the loo?

Behind Cuddly Toys.

I'll call a cab for you, shall I?

Oh, don't worry. This sort of thing happens here all the time.

Mr Carver, there's an urgent telephone call.

No, I'm not all right. No, no, no, it's all right. No, I'm at the hospital.

Okay. No, Max is with me.

What?

What? I can't hear you.

Hello, Frank.

We've just arrived at a hospital.

Everything's under control.

Get here as soon as you can.

Frank, I can't remember how to breathe.

No.

Tessa, sleep on this girl, okay?

And then up on the couch. Right. I won't be a minute. Right.

Mr Carver can help you.

Out.

Sorry.

Excuse me.

Oh, Tessa. They'll take me to the labour board.

Blimey, I haven't missed it. No, no, they'll just check in.

This is getting to be a habit.

Well, here we are again.

Another false alarm for Mrs Carver. She's rapidly becoming the laughingstock

the hospital.

Probably not even pregnant. It's probably just wind.

Are you all right?

I'm fine.

I panicked, Frank.

I was losing water and I thought... It's nothing. It's just a little

perforation, they think. I'm going to have a scan and then I'll be home.

Do you want me to wait with you?

No need. Could take hours.

You sure?

I'm fine.

Only... About that abortion... Don't worry about it. I think I understand

now. No, no, I mean... I just hope all these false alarms don't have anything

do with... Well, you know, the abortion messing up my inside somehow or other.

Don't be daft.

I know it's silly, but I can't help it.

We had all the tests. You saw the scan.

You'll be as perfect as his mother. I'm not perfect, I'm...

Have

the baby.

I love you.

She'll be all right, won't she?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

They're just doing a scan.

Now, Max, you remember those plaid suits?

It'd be hard to forget them.

You don't expect me to buy one. No, no, no. They're all sold.

Eh? To Albania.

There's maybe old turban in India back, but they're all the rage in Toronto.

And they paid you? Well, no, not exactly, but they will.

Now, listen, that's where you come in.

Now, remember that old biker's cut?

No. Yeah, you remember.

One by your mum's.

That place?

Hello. Tessa, what are you doing back here?

I've had a scan.

Another false alarm.

How is he?

He is great.

He changes all the time.

We had another visitor today. Guess who came to see us?

Steve. Daddy wanting to see his little boy.

Oh. My mum called his mum.

Anyway, in he came, kissed me, held him, said maybe we should make a go of it

after all.

Good? I don't know.

I mean, he let me go through this all by myself.

And now I'm Tessie. I'll just get fed up and piss off again.

And he won't just be leaving me this time.

He'll be leaving both of us.

I can't let that happen.

So, I told him no thanks.

Bravo.

God knows what I'm letting myself in for, though.

Look, I hope you don't think...

But, I mean, if you need a part -time job or anything, I'm your money wife.

Thanks, but... No, what about him?

I couldn't leave him.

No, I have to be with my baby.

I don't want to miss anything.

I'll get it.

Carver?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, come on. Come on in.

Does ABC come before or after, Abba? After.

Darling, this is... Oh, oh, craps, craps.

Hi.

Maxi Tatlow said you wouldn't see us.

Yeah, that's right. I've got a proposition for you.

Chromium.

I've got a shipment coming in from Albania in exchange for a commodity that

I'm...

exporting there.

These lads are in the customised bike business?

Yeah.

We strip them down, chrome plate the frames, bit of artwork on the old tank,

you know what I mean.

Yeah, well, now look, if you're interested, I think I can do a very good

for you on chrome plate.

Make a deal, then.

Oh, great.

May I get you something?

We don't drink.

All right, if I'll get a number together.

Oh, I don't think I... Oh, well, look, she's... My old lady went right off

when she was pregnant.

Yeah, I bet it won't be long now, eh, love?

I've got another three weeks, actually.

Yeah, but you're nesting.

Sorry?

It's like an age -old impulse, you know what I mean? Like some cats, they go in

a corner and make a nest before they drop them.

Some women, they get this compulsion, like, to clean and organise things.

Just like is Lorraine.

She stripped down three Olly Davisons just before she went into labour.

Frank?

What?

There's nothing.

Just a twinge.

Probably psychosomatic.

That's it.

That's it. That's it. That's it.

That's it.

Good, good,

yes, that's good.

Good, very good.

Good,

good, good, nearly there.

Nearly there.

Push if you want.

He's got a

head, sir. Oh, God.

He's got a head. Oh, God.

Come on, come on, one more here.

Isn't she pretty?

I'm sure I saw the cobblers on the scan.

Baby.

Now, Antetra, I expect you could both do with a nice cup of tea.

Got to do this again, you know.

It can leave you crying, love hurts.

It can turn you upside down, oh how love hurts.

So you'd better run and hide, but remember,

love hurts, you just hurt.

I'll put you just the same.