Original subtitles

You don't mind?

I don't mind. We thought we were getting eight and we've got ten.

There's overnight accommodation for the original eight. Grace and Max are

getting another. I really don't mind.

They're going to the country tomorrow, aren't they?

One kid for one night.

I can't object.

Anyway, I like kids.

Kids like me.

Frank.

You come to the farm?

For a couple of days.

Sure, why not?

Bit of fresh air.

Get Sandra to get us a list of hotels with plenty of stars and cross knives

forks. That's not how it works, Frank.

The kids are under canvas, we'll be under canvas.

Oh.

Well, never mind.

I have to get Fortnum's to send a few hampers.

Kids have arrived.

Kids, chop, chop.

Catch that lift before it goes. Come on, this way.

Kostya, what is the matter with you? You've always got the hump.

Oh,

sling your hook. Come on.

A word of Russian.

All right?

I'm going to put these on here.

Everybody can just settle in here and we'll have a look at the play again in a

minute. All right then.

Great. I said all right then.

Yeah. Lots of luck. Speak any Russian?

Perfectly. Me too.

Practice me accent.

Shouldn't there be an interpreter or something?

Oh, in theory, most of you speak English.

And in theory, I speak Russian.

See you.

All right, now, tomorrow you're going to go to the farm, but today we're going

to play some games, OK? Can you say that in Russian for me?

OK? Right, so everybody can get their game out of here.

Now, you have to be very slow, because there aren't enough games for all of

There we are.

Not exactly a barrel of laughs, are they?

What? The kids.

One or two of them looked at me as if I'd just cancelled Christmas.

I thought this job was going to be fun.

I expect Tessa's paying you a good hourly rate, isn't she?

Exactly, so stop bellyaching.

Your problem is, Matt, you don't know how to handle kids.

Some people can, some people can't. Oh, yeah?

Which one of the brothers' bloody grim are you?

So -called Jeff.

Is everything all right with you? You seem a bit grumpy.

I think it's OK, Anna.

Are you staying with Tessa and Frank?

We think we're having fun.

We're not quite sure.

Tomorrow you're going to go to the farm, Costia.

Was it the happy little Russian orphans chortling with glee at the prospect of a

farm holiday in the wealthy West? They're tired, they're confused, and

bit suspicious.

Especially the ones you don't know.

Oh, so they're not from your orphanage, then? The one you and Frank bought?

Some of them are.

Others are from institutions all over Russia.

A couple from here, another from there. I got it.

What are they like, these, um, institutions?

No money, no equipment, no love.

No resources.

Lots of discipline.

They'll find out how to have a good time before long.

Perhaps your boys could help give them a lead. You know, help jolly them up.

You're bringing them, aren't you?

Oh, yeah, yeah, sure.

But there's jolly and jolly, you know.

I mean, at the moment, my three are at the anarchic, chaotic stage of jolly.

How do I get there?

M1, M40.

M1's probably best for you.

Chandra will give you details.

Maps and so on.

Is that why you called in?

To get directions?

Yeah.

No, it's not.

Chandra could have given them over the phone.

No, it's not.

Actually, I was feeling a bit desperate. I...

I needed to talk, daft, really.

It's not the time nor the place.

Talk about?

Well, I thought it might help if I saw another rabbi. It didn't.

Not his fault.

Poor man.

I do need to talk, though.

Not here, not now.

I'd better go.

Sex, money, power, politics, the synagogue.

Or sex is non -existent.

Money's in short supply, as ever.

Power politics is closer.

I'm not being eye -to -eye with God.

Well, this is exciting.

I like being in this car, seeing London for the first time.

My name is Constantine Jozov.

Dominative Kostya.

I come from Moscow, where I live in a children's house.

But for the next two weeks, I shall be staying in England, making new friends

and having a terrific time.

We were told you spoke English.

Kostya Yudov speaks English, they said.

This is Trafalgar Square.

Tomorrow we go to the farm.

I shall come with you.

Also, my husband, whose name is Frank, and a friend of

mine called Diane and her three sons.

I know a holiday isn't life, but maybe you will have some good memories to

Until you come back again.

Kostya?

Kostya?

You've lost him.

He's gone.

One minute he was with me in the kitchen and then... Did you search the flat?

Why didn't I think of that? Of course. Search the flat.

What a clever idea.

What's he look like?

Oh, I don't know.

Small. Like this big.

Blonde hair. Looks a bit like you, actually. You'd go that way, I'll go

Are you pumping it?

Get your money.

Right,

pick a table.

Oh, that one.

You're out of condition.

Right, we're off.

One quarter pounder, one Big Mac, one chicken sandwich, six chicken nuggets.

Diet Coke for me, please. Two large Diet Colas, one chocolate milkshake, three

large fries.

Here, take away.

Here. He's paying.

He's learning fast.

It's yours.

I've changed my mind.

Send him back to Russia.

They're from orphanages, not child school.

You know the sort of life they've led.

Every adult has either ripped them off or let them down.

I know, but he's still a sod.

His father left, his mother's in jail.

He has what Bamblack calls an attitude problem.

Did Jade do that?

Did Jade do what? Just run off like that.

I don't think she did anything when I left.

Couldn't reach the door handle.

You don't know any more about it than I do, do you?

About what?

Bringing up kids.

Another one.

You were wondering what it would be like.

What? To have your own kid.

Well, I'm not surprised then, I suppose.

Kids with no parents, kids going through all that trouble.

I bet your Max's mum will want to adopt the whole lot.

Something I want.

Who's that?

Goodness.

You're in Tanzania.

Am I? Who's this then?

I, um, asked for a week's compassionate leave. I said you were ill.

Ill? Ill with what?

I don't think I specified a general old age, really.

You're not going back, are you?

No, I'm not.

Who says so?

Me.

Good. You can go back to university, pick up where you left off.

No. What, no VSO, no college?

What's the plan, then? Life or crime?

No.

Well... Almost.

I'm going to do what you do.

Here are the key words.

Business, deal, profit, BMW, luxury apartment.

That's two words. OK, I'll keep luxury.

Apartment automatically follows.

So what happened to the great bloody moral crusade, then, eh? World politics,

conservation, death of consumerism. Oh, please. The only time you ever went

green was when someone had a bigger and better one than you.

Bigger and better what?

Anything at all.

And whose bloody murk is that outside?

Look, I just need a bed for tonight. Is that OK?

Just tonight?

I've got a flat sit.

Someone who's away for six months.

Where is it?

Belgravia.

Have to be, wouldn't it?

Is it OK?

Sure.

As long as you don't mind the sofa.

Spare room's already occupied.

Jonathan? I had a nightmare.

What was it about?

The usual.

Peckish?

We're riding along on the crest of a wave and the sun is in the sky.

Oh, great, he says.

The L .A. Duck.

Oh, great, he says.

The L .A. Duck.

Oh, great, he says. You're not making much headway.

I don't think they've got the hang of this.

You'll probably have more luck down at the farm.

What with your ging -gang ghoulies around the campfire.

I'll send you a postcard. Having a lovely time. Wish you were here.

Here.

What about a Ruby Murray when I get back?

I've got a boyfriend.

Not a fiancé? Not a husband?

No. I bet he's six or two.

Looks like Mickey Rourke. Drives a load of saloon.

And he's 20 years younger than you.

I'll bring the minibus round.

Come on then. Let's go.

Hi, Jan.

Hi,

Jan. Come on, let's go.

Come on, my little ankle biters.

I lied about the lotus.

Of course you did.

Ready? Yes.

Come on, then.

Come on, Kostya. I rejected his porn vindaloo.

You're not the first.

Kids seem chipper. Oh.

Fizzing with high spirits.

You must have heard the gales of merry laughter all over the building.

Talking of children, by the way, congratulations!

Raspberry leaf tea, taken throughout pregnancy, helps with labour.

My sister swears by it, anyway.

Oh, and start rubbing oil on your tummy and the small of your back, night and

morning. You might relieve the stretch marks.

How did you know?

Packets of rich tea indigested in your desk, perhaps?

The fact that you visit the loo at least 20 times a day.

Maybe.

But I must confess that what really aroused my suspicions was this

information from the National Childbirth Trust.

You sent for it on office notepaper.

Don't tell Frank.

What's it worth?

The idea is to build a holiday complex that's small, exclusive and activity

-based.

High -quality chalet accommodation.

Sports activities outside and inside.

Well -organised facilities for young families under an all -weather dome.

That canal we were talking about, that runs right by the site.

A speciality of ours.

What we try to do.

It's combined the bay sites with narrow boat holidays or simple bay excursions.

I've got two of these in France, both going well.

Now I need to develop something close to London.

What sort of profit margins do you look for?

Well, over 20%. It's a good scheme.

Low overhead.

And the farm provides a further element.

Help your kids get close to nature.

Great for middle -class greens.

It's the perfect holiday for times like these.

We look classy, but we're economical.

Now, given the right growth pattern and a bit of luck, we'll come out of the

recession looking like a million.

Lots of millions.

But I need investment capital.

I'm stretched.

Time to take on a partner.

50 -50.

Well, my money and expertise, your money and what?

Well, I found the site, didn't I?

I've already talked the farmer into a deal.

Where is it?

Fancy a look?

Yeah, all right, yeah.

Where are you going for your share of the money?

Your bank?

Somebody's bank.

There's something else I want to try first.

Go to the middle of nowhere and turn left.

Malcolm Litoff, please.

Litoff?

Hello, Frank.

Hi, Malcolm.

I've got a bit of a proposal for you, Malcolm.

What?

Oh, of course it's a business proposal.

Not free for lunch, are you? No, afraid not, Frank. Got a lunch date.

As a matter of fact, he's just arrived.

But in truth, Frank, I'm not the man to talk to about deals.

I don't care if I never do another deal.

Okay.

See you, Malcolm.

I hope that's not true.

I want you to do one for me.

It's called a crisis of faith.

They're quite commonplace amongst the faithful.

Meaning what?

You stop believing in God?

Oh, no, nothing as simple as that.

Meaning that I've stopped believing that it's reasonable to believe in God.

In God's great plan.

Oh, you know, all the usual arguments.

Innocents die in wars they don't want or understand.

Children starve, tyrants flourish.

Marriages end in sorrow. Love comes at the wrong time and the wrong place.

Yeah, that too.

Simon's a lost cause for sure.

Oh, yes.

And Nikolai?

About to become the American dream.

He asked you to go with him, didn't he?

The boys too.

Uh -huh.

But I didn't want to be Mrs. Superstar.

And he didn't want to be Mr. Rabbi.

Oh, it's not just a matter of where the doubts... Startle? Why?

The God who hears our prayers, the God who approves of this but disapproves of

that.

All the beliefs, all the rules used to feel right.

Now they just make me feel suffocated.

I don't think it's fair to go on.

Being a rabbi? Oh, no, no, I haven't turned atheist. I mean, I don't think

fair to go on giving guidance to others, too.

interpret the law to represent faith.

I don't think I can lead a congregation.

This will do.

It's not what you expected.

I don't like it.

Good.

Because all the restaurants are full of jolly important people negotiating jolly

important deals.

And when I see them, I get... Johnny pissed off. What happened?

I don't know.

Have you ever looked in a mirror and not looked away when it started to get

strange? Get strange?

Your own face becomes less and less recognisable.

In the end, you're two people, the one looking in and the other being looked

No, I haven't.

Don't try it.

So, you want to be a capitalist.

Ideal. I thought it would be.

Can we get a closer look?

Yeah, sure.

The only milk I've ever got is off the milkman.

Not there for the first time.

You're up to something.

Never you mind. No -one's saying anything to anyone.

Most of all, you.

You fancy a pint? I've already got one.

I'll be in touch.

OK.

There's a knack.

I know. I've got a boot full of milk to prove it.

Let's have a proper pint.

It's not the doddle it used to be.

In the mid-'80s, anyone could make a fortune.

All you needed was a head for maths and very sharp teeth.

Not so easy now.

There's still money to be made, though.

There's always money to be made.

You're Frank Carver's daughter, you'd know that.

She wouldn't have married you even if she'd never met him.

Sorry, Malcolm, that was a shitty thing to say.

Look, can you help?

I can speak to people.

There's a secondary aluminium exchange starting up soon.

I can probably get you a shoe in there.

What'll you do?

I don't know. I haven't thought that far.

Social work, maybe?

I was once approached by an academic publisher. Maybe they'd still be

interested.

Do you think it'll pass?

Anyway, what I do isn't the issue.

No, I don't think it will.

I feel that everything that underpinned my life has slipped away.

Except the kids.

Yeah.

When are you going to tell Frank?

Tell Frank what?

You're talking to a mother of three.

What was it, then?

Well, you ordered frizzy water, you're eating non -stop, you look untypically

tired.

But it was a more positive indicator than that. What? Sandra told me.

What do you want, girls?

Oh, we're OK.

How are they?

Well, they're doing their best to have a good time.

Patting the horses, picking the apples, milking the cows.

Never mind.

Don't worry.

Frank will bring them out of their shells.

Kids like me.

Thanks, Max.

Good.

Good night, Max.

Night.

Night -night, then.

Settle down now. Night -night.

I just saw a shooting star.

Mazel tov.

You taking the pledge?

Just haven't felt like drinking lately.

I think Kostya was a bit moody tonight.

Oh, do you think so?

Did you say something to him?

Like what?

Well, I did tell him that he'd have some great stories to tell his friends when

he got back to Russia.

You know, I honestly think it's never occurred to him that he would have to go

back.

What was he expected to do?

Adopt him?

Yeah, maybe we could.

Don't be so bloody stupid.

Just a thought.

he'll feel about being a father again at 50 -something.

How do you feel about being a mother?

I don't know yet.

Well, mixed feelings.

A bit worried about.

That's fair.

Oh, yes.

It's not just that, it's how... I suppose I'm frightened at home.

Why?

You must have known it was possible.

Oh, yeah, I knew it was possible. We both knew it was possible.

Possible baby.

Now it's a certainty. Everything seems riskier.

No.

More at risk.

Things like?

Way of life, career, relationship.

A child makes a big difference, doesn't it?

Changes your life forever.

Before I actually became pregnant.

It was just... theory.

Now it all seems such an enormous business.

I spent the better part of 20 years looking after myself and my career.

Then came Frank, now this.

I wanted it, just as I wanted Frank, but I want the career too, and I want my

own life, you know?

Freedom?

I guess so, yes.

Forget it, not a chance.

Not the way you mean it.

I feel like this about it.

It's a freewheeling front car. They're going to take it.

I want to talk about it. Look it to them.

Tell me now.

Frank.

Have you seen Costia?

Not since this morning at breakfast. Why?

He's gone missing.

Let him be in one of the barns or the cowshed.

Have you seen love?

No one's seen him since breakfast.

He must be around. Where would he go?

Go to your meeting, Frank.

We'll find him, don't worry.

I can get you in. After that, it's fight or flop.

I'll take my chances.

Maybe I'll pick your brains from time to time.

If it's worth it.

And if I'm still around.

Why wouldn't you be?

Maybe I'll sod off and save the world.

Isn't that what you were supposed to be doing?

You sound like my father.

Do I?

Now, there's an irony.

You think I'm ducking out?

Look, the rainforest is firewood.

Species become extinct before they're even catalogued.

The ozone layer is in ribbons, global warmings are certain, most of the world

starving. Which would you like me to tackle first?

You need power to make things happen.

So you do, so you do.

But power corrupts.

There's another irony.

I think I've given up.

You're too young to give up.

And are you too old to change?

It's a precaution. I mean, the strongest chance is that he's simply run away.

Peter. Derek Porter.

Sir Peter.

Good morning, gentlemen.

How are you?

Love the party here tonight.

Great. Yeah, had a great time.

Well, you've seen everything.

Except the money they're all making, of course.

That moves too fast for the eye to follow.

Shouldn't you be getting back?

Yes.

It's all right.

Especially, I'm still on sick leave.

But you're better, more or less.

No, I don't think I am.

I'm sorry.

I'm not.

It'll be odd, won't it?

Having a brother or a sister after 20 years as an only child.

You did know?

I'd half guessed.

She never used to eat salami and mayo sandwiches at 2am.

It's odd, but I don't really see it's any of my business.

I don't mind.

I do.

Let's go back to my flat and make love.

I was only joking.

Here's to it, Frank.

Here's to us.

You're not drinking?

Well, it's not in the bag yet, Derek.

They loved it.

They'll love it even more once the full proposal's in.

It's in that way, doesn't it? Of course it did.

There's no other brandy to celebrate.

No, no, no, no.

You drink mine.

I've got to get off. I've got one or two things to do.

You never stop, do you?

You'll take care of the bill, will you?

Oh, yeah. Well, you've done enough for today, yeah.

Take it easy.

Excuse me.

They've done everything but hoover the barnyard, Tessa.

He's nowhere on the farm.

Hello?

It's Frank, Tessa.

Hello, Frank.

He's nowhere. He's gone.

I'll be leaving now, all right?

I'll be with you in a couple of hours.

Are you all right?

Yeah, fine. Not tired, not pissed.

See you soon, all right? OK.

Cost you.

It's all right, it's all right.

It's only me.

We've all been worried about you, you know, everyone.

All of us.

What's the matter? Didn't you like the farm?

Yes, I like 4K.

I like more urine to pick it.

Have you made up your mind about this, Rabbi?

I wish I could.

I just... just wanted to share my thoughts with you.

My... predicament.

As senior members of the committee, I felt you all ought to know.

How long?

You mentioned a sort of leave of absence.

How long?

I don't know.

Forever?

Maybe?

I can't persuade you to change your mind.

No, you can't.

For years, I've spread myself too thin.

Shul, Simon, the kids, the congregation, committees.

If I'm going to carve out a new career for myself at my age, I must be on my

side most of the time.

And the kids.

Just us.

And I can't continue to be a trustee if I can't do the job properly.

What about God?

He'll have to fend for himself for a while.

How are the kids?

I had a letter.

Dear Frank Piggott.

Culture.

Today we are in a balloon by the sky.

They went hot air ballooning.

How much longer before they go back?

Before he goes back.

Holiday to the end of the week, then back in London for two days, then back

Russia.

Frank will miss him.

We'll both will.

Yes, Frank will miss him.

Tessa, three things.

Hi, Rabbi.

Number one, don't worry about maternity leave and all that. We have a very

liberal policy.

Pro -feminist, pro -PC, pro...

all those other goddamn troublemakers.

So, congratulations.

Number two, I'll be chairing the finance meeting this afternoon.

I've read your proposals, and I like them.

Expensive, but invalid.

You'll get what you want.

And number three, tell Frank.

Neat footwork, you bastard.

Okay? See ya.

Neat footwork, Frank, what?

What? Neat footwork, Frank, what?

What? What? What? You heard me.

You mean you really don't know?

Don't ask me to tell you. You can't just roll into my office and drop loaded

comments and then... Ask Frank, okay? I'm asking you.

Listen, husband and wife, my golden rule.

Don't get caught in the middle. My golden rule, never take no for an

You should know that by now.

Come on, Marshall.

I got a report on the farm you took the Russian kids to. They're developing it

into a vacation for a theme park.

Right?

Sounded enterprising. So I sent my people in to see whether we should buy

But Frank got there first.

In fact, it was all Frank's idea.

You want to take orphans there again sometime?

You'd better find rich orphans. Oh, spare me the performance.

Marshal the compassionate.

Marshal the moral crusader.

You expect me to be outraged by the fact that Frank has nipped in and made a

smart deal behind your back.

But that's what he does, Marshall.

That's what my husband does. He makes deals.

He's good at it. And some of the deals he makes are good for other people, not

just for Frank.

Which is why I'm on the board of Claydon Park Enterprises, because the Bound

Black Foundation is going to get preferential bookings and preferential

And you're just pissed off that you didn't think of it yourself.

Keep it up.

Come on.

I'm coming.

For God's sake, come on. I'll race you.

Wait. Come on. Wait.

Come on. Wait.

You could have let me win.

Well, that wouldn't have done much to prepare you for the commercial cut and

thrust, would it?

Disappointed. You wanted me to sign up with Mother Teresa and be the family's

conscience.

No, I didn't.

I just wanted you to be yourself, that's all.

I'm just not sure that it's a big shit business, woman.

Well, we'll see.

Who is he?

Who? The guy with the Belgravia penthouse.

No one.

Someone. Someone who's no one.

Really just a friend.

Thanks for coming back there for a drink.

Dead posh.

Another time, eh?

They're going back today.

Kostya. He's going back.

I want to say goodbye.

Sure, yeah.

Dad. Huh?

Thanks for the run.

It'll be great when we get the new place done on Pushkin Prospect.

Plenty of hot water, two kids to a room, satellite, television.

It won't be like living with family.

You'll write a lot, won't you? Practice your English.

You'll write letters too.

I promise.

I'll send you a load of faxes.

Oh, poor.

There is time for one more milkshake, maybe.

No, no, no, come on, it's time.

We're all waiting.

Don't come with me, please.

He'll be all right. Of course he will.

Would you have liked to have a fun?

You know, all things being equal.

So I can get it right the second time round, eh?

Thanks. There's something I have to tell you. You've lost your purse.

No.

You're a secret lemonade drinker. Will you just shut up a minute, please?

You're burnt down Windsor cart.

I'm going to kill you.

You're expecting our baby.

It can leave you crying, love hurts.

It can turn you upside down, oh how love hurts.

So if it's just a game that you're playing, you better

know that love hurts.

There's no doubt about it, love hurts.

But who can live without it? Oh, how love hurts.

So you'd better run and hide. But remember,

love hurts if you just hurt.

you just the

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