Original subtitles

I don't know about you, but I thought I was pretty fantastic.

Not bad.

Be careful with your tongue, bud.

I'll quit while I'm ahead.

I'm sorry. That's cheating.

Please leave a message. Did I say that? Did I say that?

If you two are in there making baby...

No? Why?

There's big trouble at your Moscow apartment block project.

Squatters fighting with construction workers.

Not good publicity.

What?

Marshal? Get over there and fix it, will you?

What? Just like that? What do you expect me to do, Marshal?

Hey, use your initiative. That's what I pay you for.

What was all that about?

Marshall wants me to have a dirty weekend on a Moscow building site.

Do you fancy coming with me?

For moral support and sexual services.

Well, I'd love to.

At the Field Kitchen opening.

Only be for a few days, please.

My Russian visa's expired.

Oh.

Frank, you're not just scared of going back to Russia, are you?

Hey, Frank.

Yes, just a little.

Just because last time I was there, the Russian mafia has kidnapped me and

nearly shot me. They nearly shot me, too.

Yeah, everybody knows women are braver than men.

Well, that's true, but please.

Niet. Niet.

Please.

Niet, bloody fear.

Hi. Oh.

Oh, my goodness, I can... I'd completely forgotten you were coming. I wasn't.

Wasn't what?

Coming on me.

Oh. I just popped round on the off chance.

Oh.

All right?

Yeah. No.

Not really.

They're going to let you in group eight tonight.

Oh.

Tough going? Oh, no, no, no. They're a lovely crowd. It's just that I've got to

tell them it's their last meeting.

The congregation doesn't approve.

You could fight them.

Tess, I can't.

I'm knackered.

I can't fight anymore.

You need a holiday.

Oh, yeah? Where do you suggest? The Bahamas?

Russia.

I have to go and I'll need moral support.

Frank? It's busy.

Oh, come on.

The foundation will pay. You're a trustee, after all.

No, no, and I can't. I can't leave the kids.

Ask Simon to come down for a few days.

Well, I mean, I'd have to arrange cover here.

Oh, well.

Pity.

Nikolai's playing at the Moscow Conservatoire next week.

Never mind.

I wanted to go to Moscow.

These seats aren't bad.

They used to be reserved for party members.

Now they're called first class.

Seems like the Russians are getting their hang of the tapas a little.

Some of them are.

Cheers. Cheers.

Not quite what you expect, is it? No, no.

Mr Carver, I fed the British Army on the Rhine on manoeuvres. It'll be a doddle.

Yeah.

Be a sight easier if I had a nice guest over.

instead of a Russian army surplus field kitchen.

That is the gimmick, isn't it?

Recession catering.

Find an old building like this, get all the furniture from bankruptcy sales. In

other words, exploit the slump.

That's right, Max.

I'm a businessman.

I mean, that is my job, finding things and exploiting them. I'd rather be

exploiting the boom.

But beggars can't be choosers, can they?

Come on, Clark.

Careful with those wine glasses. They cost nearly 10p each.

So, we're offering no -nonsense fuel stops for the hungry 90s.

Bring your own booze, no bookings, three courses for 10 quid.

If you want to keep the cutlery, it's 11 .50.

See you again.

Sure, why not? Could be a laugh.

More than a laugh.

I'm expecting to have a dozen of these before the end of the year.

Oh, sure.

Of course, the world's full of people who'll say, I know, let's go up to that

new place tonight. You know, the tatty old bank with the art seats, the dim oil

lamps, and the dull food, just like dull dinners. The food won't be dull.

No, no, no, Phoebe, no. Be fair, Max could be right.

I mean, after all, he was the brilliant economic forecaster who predicted that

computer games wouldn't take off. Bullet.

Oh,

that was upsetting.

I'm too shaken up to give them anything.

You give them something and go straight back to the mafia.

Yes, but even so.

It upsets me too, Diane, but I've learned to do stone -faced.

I mean, they could have been my kids. I know, I know.

Hello, do you speak English?

Hello. Welcome to the hotel.

Have you a reservation?

Yes.

Warburg and Pickett.

Oh, Barmback Foundation?

Oh, yeah. You are on the third floor.

I hope you enjoy your stay.

Does it have a nice view?

Oh, yes, but unfortunately not from your room.

Bloody bombs, bastards.

Bombs?

Bombs. People who have nowhere to live.

Oh, like squatters, I see, yes.

These bastards take drugs and make sex all day long, and my workers sit on

bloody arses and I still have to pay them.

But what do they live on, the bombs?

They sell Yeltsin dolls to tourists, sell drugs to locals, to... Who cares?

Look. If you give the police some dollars, they will go away, and then my

can throw out these parasites.

Maybe if you give the Bronx some dollars, they'd go away without a fight.

No. My men get paid rubles.

If they see these bastards getting dollars... Perhaps we can find some

for your men.

And me.

And for 10 ,000 max, you can be in for number two.

You've got as much chance of filling this place as England have of winning

next World Cup.

10 ,000 quid.

What a missed opportunity.

Field kitchen.

Hello?

Hello?

Yes, it's Frank there, please.

Frank Carver.

Short little guy.

No,

we don't do reservations.

And even if we did, we wouldn't have any.

It's Mrs.

Carver here, calling from Moscow, you know, Russia.

And now I'm Nikita Khrushchev. Oi.

So, what's the weather like back there? Gorgeous. Can you find him, please?

Hope you're not chatting up some bird again, Nikita. No, of course not.

Do you have any of that lemon -flavoured vodka?

Uh, vodka, lemonade?

Limonaud vodka, please.

Oh, thank you.

May I get you one?

No, no, no. Allow me. Uh, epila.

I'm not trying to get off with you or anything. I can see you're a married

woman. No, do I look that depressed?

No, no.

Wedding ring.

Oh.

But it's nice to hear another English voice.

What about your friends?

Fins. They're only here for the beer.

So, are you on holiday?

No, not really. You?

Oh, no.

I'm doing a feasibility study for British cars.

Oh, really?

What do you drive?

I've got a Jaguar XK1 Fielding. Oh, lovely.

Only for best, so to speak.

I run around in a company cabaret back home.

Oh, that's nice.

Cheers. Cheers.

Now, I've always loved cars.

Really? Do you know, I can remember every car I ever owned.

And every car my father owned.

Just after the war, he had a Jowett Javelin.

Navy blue.

Oh, it was a gorgeous beast.

FTG 345.

Now, imagine, just imagine what that number played to be worth today.

Then he had a superb umber oak.

Light green, overburnt umber.

With an automatic gearbox.

I mean, this is 1955 we are talking about.

Then when I left school and...

Joined the family business. We had the garage.

No. Dad gave me a Vauxhall Velux. You remember?

With the chrome and the wings.

Number plate?

JFK.

775A. I always remember. Because he was president.

God. Wish I had a son.

Sorry.

You know. So I could buy him a car on his 18th.

Oh. We both married late.

And my wife, well, she'd already had a couple of miscarriages.

And the doctor had told her that another pregnancy wouldn't be such a good idea.

I mean, she was 45.

So, you got kiddies?

Er, not really.

We've got a dog and cat.

I really should go.

I know.

Tessa's on her own.

Of course.

And I promised to phone the kids.

You can telephone from here.

I promised to phone them tonight.

It's okay. I'm hooked up to international exchange.

How did you manage that?

Bribery, of course.

Bloody bastards.

Now what?

So now, I meant go and break a few heads. You can't. They're just children.

Look, give them a few minutes. Maybe they'll come down, won't they? Who

It's my building.

The foundation's money.

What do we do?

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

I'll think of something.

Good night, girls. Thank you. Good night, Frank. How did we do, then? Good.

Our sweet one target on day two.

You mean we've been busy? I'd never have noticed. Here.

Here's an advance on your Christmas box.

Oh, thanks.

Suddenly, I don't feel tired anymore. See you tomorrow.

Good night.

Frank, where were you thinking of opening up Field Kitchen 2?

Max, this is a franchise operation.

It's up to the franchisor, not the franchisee. Right.

Well, I have seen a very nice property down in Whitechapel.

Long lease.

No premium.

So for ten grand... No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Max, no.

I told you that ten grand was the pre -opening night price.

I mean, now that it's a proven success, well... This is a wind -up, isn't it,

Frank?

I haven't decided yet, Max.

Looks like you've had another good idea, Frank.

What are you doing, George?

Oh, those things.

Not so good, Frank.

I've had to buy myself a second -hand Sierra to run around in. You're kidding.

Straight up. State of the economy, isn't it?

People were starting to get too aggressive when I went out in the

Good to see you back from the dead.

Yeah.

You can't keep a good man down, George.

I'm married too, aren't you?

You'll be wanting to start a family next.

Move to a big house in the country?

Max, bring my bottle over, would you?

What are you after, George?

How long have we known each other, Floyd? Cut the prologue. It's been a

week.

All right.

Quarter of a million. Cash.

If you're setting up in a protection game, George, you're overcharging.

No, no, no.

To buy you out.

You what? A quarter of a million.

Paid offshore, if you like.

For this place and the right to use the field kitchen name and theme anywhere in

the world.

You're kidding.

I represent people who think this could be very big, Frank.

Yeah, well... Yeah, it will be big.

Two glasses of Dendex.

Not just big, Frank.

Very big.

Like 200 outlets inside of three years.

What are you working for, George?

Ronald McDonald?

No.

But you're getting the size of it.

No.

No, forget it, George.

I want to stick with this one.

It's fun.

Please yourself, but I've watched you over the years, Frank, and you've had

good ideas.

But you're not too clever following through.

$300 ,000 and your face can be on all the menus.

I don't know what I expected.

You're expected to find all your ancestors' birth certificates neatly

Yes, probably.

Where to?

Look at that door.

Oh, right.

Uh -oh.

No.

No. No, thanks.

No, thanks.

No, thanks.

Yes, $20.

Weren't you at the... $10.

...Pushkin Street, that building, you know, the apartment block?

You know, the big apartment block?

Nikolai, ask him about the kids at the squat. You know, you know, the big

building, the apartment block. Who are they?

He

says

they are Saint Andrei's kids, and they will never leave.

If you want to investigate him, I can ask for permission to meet you.

Yes. Good, excellent. My friends will be here shortly. Now.

This

is where

he lives.

Shall we go in?

I'm not so sure about that.

Ten minutes, okay?

All of my life. All of my life.

Keep on listening.

Did he recognize you from your

concert? No, he remembers Bar Mitzvah in October.

1960. Your chapter was Lech Lechow. I remember.

You had beautiful voice.

Very musical.

I didn't know he spoke English.

He speaks English.

He speaks German. He speaks Hebrew.

He is a scholar.

Please,

sit down.

So, Kolya, this is your wife?

No.

No, I'm just a friend.

From England.

Diane Warburg.

Nikolai thought you might be able to help me.

I know. You have papers from the old days and you want to know if they are

alive.

Well, no, actually.

I mean, I want to know anything.

Where they lived, where they're buried.

If they're buried.

You would like a glass tea?

Oh, thank you. You want to make it?

Here.

Oh, okay.

Leave the papers a few days.

I will see what I can do.

Thank you.

And if you have any hard currency to spare.

Thank you.

Guys, they're coming, they're coming.

Well, boys, look who

I brought to you.

It's an English woman.

Goodbye,

bye.

Do you speak English?

A little, thanks to the voice of America.

So, you want to throw us out onto the street?

Why not?

It's where we find most of these children.

Nobody told me. Maybe you listened to the wrong people.

So, who are you?

What are you doing here?

Just people.

God told us to try and help the children whose parents never learned how to take

care of them, so that's what we do.

But you want to turn this building into a parchment for Russian yuppies.

Valentina ran away from home when her stepfather started mistaking her bed for

his.

I found her working as a prostitute, just like her 12 -year -old brother.

Throw them out. They'll be fine.

My friends, I think.

You know we can pay. $20

is fine if you're bombed with all your things in one bag.

I don't mean $20.

We can help you find somewhere better.

Somewhere in the country.

These are city kids.

Take them out of the city and they'll just run away again.

Then we'll find you somewhere else, in Moscow.

Where?

There's nowhere. You think I haven't looked?

Are you all right?

Yes, of course.

When we got back to the hotel, the security guard said you'd gone off with

antisocial element.

You are Nikolai Yeltsin.

You were with Yeltsin on the White House steps defending democracy. I saw you.

Well, I didn't go there to defend democracy.

I went there to get a visa.

By the time Mike came out, there had been counter -revolution.

It would give you some idea just how long I had to queue up.

Will you play for the children?

Of course.

Not mine, are you?

These are mine.

Holy Moses, I have been deceived.

It's a fabulous building.

When you get them out, I'll have one of the apartments.

Nikolai, how can you say that?

I am realist, and Russia is now capitalist country.

Go down and talk to Bandler.

Hotel Moscow?

Oh, at last, yes.

Would you please try Tessa Carver's room?

Or Tessa Piggott?

Piggott.

Yes, thank you.

Are you sure?

All right, well, would you say that her husband called?

Spasiba.

You took your time, didn't you? You've been grinsy. There's gratitude.

There was a queue, all right.

Well, don't bother with plates.

It tastes better out of paper.

Tessa would kill us.

That's the advantage of her not being here.

The only advantage.

You really miss her, don't you?

Yep.

Do you know what, Max?

You've changed.

Two months ago, you would have said, you really miss it.

Yeah, I suppose I have changed.

You do miss it, though, don't you?

Not half.

Here, what do you think of that?

Hampstead Garden Suburb.

You?

Well, it's a nice place to bring up kids.

Leafy, you know.

Kids?

If you have a kid now, by the time it's 18, you'll be 70.

69.

Oh, well, that's all right, then.

Hampstead Garden Suburb.

So I suppose we'll have to pay off Nikita and leave the squatters where

are.

It'll cost us $100 ,000, but I could use this story to generate a million

dollars worth of good PR.

What?

I set up the foundation to teach the communists how to be capitalists. Now,

have a contract with Nikita to fix up those apartments. No way do we renege.

I am not throwing 25 kids out into the street.

But those kids are the city's responsibility, not yours.

Your job is running this foundation.

Well, maybe I don't want that job.

Take a walk off your balcony, Markov.

There must be something you can do.

Those children are runaways. They run away from their homes, from their state

orphanages.

Dr.

Markovich says,

She's prepared to take the children back into the orphanage. But they don't want

to go back. They say the orphanages are like prisons.

With respect,

Mrs. Carver, these children are thieves and prostitutes and drug abusers.

Why? Do you believe them and not us?

Frank, it's me.

I'm sorry, did I wake you?

No, no, I'm fine, I'm fine.

No, actually, I'm not fine. I'm very angry and I'm very upset.

No, no, no, there's nothing you can do. I just wanted to talk to you.

On second thoughts, there is something you can do.

You know, Bound Black's London address?

You can just pop over there for me and...

Kill him.

Hi, Frank.

Breakfast?

Nothing. Just some syrup.

So, what can I do for you?

You can stop giving my wife a hard time.

She worked for me.

I'm entitled.

Anyway, here's a tough cookie.

She can handle it. That's not what you said last night.

You told her she was being broody.

Yeah, that was a low blow.

I was trying to motivate her.

You sure you don't want any of this locks? It's Scottish.

You just don't get it, do you, Marshal?

There are 25 runaway kids in that building and you want to throw them back

onto the street.

No, I don't.

I just told Tessa that the foundation was not set up to be Santa Claus.

But, uh...

Tessa will think of something.

She's smart.

You don't want to underestimate her.

Oh, Matt.

What are you doing here, Frank?

I thought that was obvious. No, I mean, why?

Why? Because I've been going without all week.

Frank!

Oh.

Because you were upset.

I wanted to be with you.

I went to see Mountblatt.

What did he say?

He said...

That you would find a way to sort things out. He said I shouldn't underestimate

you. And what else?

I'll tell you that later.

Hi. Yes?

You know that colonel who bought the field kitchens, right? Uh -huh.

Do you think he'd have KGB connections?

Oh.

They've all got KGB connections, the colonel.

No, Tessa, no. There is no way.

There is no way I'm getting mixed up with him. Tessa, look.

What? Watch my lips.

No, no.

Niet. Niet.

Da, da. No. Da, da. I'm not getting mixed up. Da, da.

Na, niet, niet, niet. Da, da.

Da, da. No.

Niet.

Niet. Niet.

Da, niet. Da, niet.

Frank,

it's good to see you.

This must be Mrs. Carver.

Beautiful.

Colonel Gary Kazim.

Enchanté. Would you care for some champagne? It is French.

Yes, lovely. Thank you.

Tony, do all Russian officers speak perfect

English? Only those who spent nine years at the Russian embassy in Kensington.

God, how I miss Harold's.

So, Frank, your field kitchens are satisfactory.

Yes. Great, thanks.

So, I suppose you worked for the KGB.

I mean, something like the KGB.

When you were in London, I mean.

Ministry of Supply.

Oh, shame.

I hope we could have done business together.

Business? What sort of business?

Well, if you have no KGB connections, you can't help us.

But I do know people who know people.

Why? We want an apartment block.

Is that all?

Well, it may not have been built as an apartment building. I mean, it could be,

I don't know, an office block or something like that.

What on earth for?

It's for a home for the street kids.

Runaways, you know.

Oh, so it need not be fashionable address.

Listen, what happened to this building in our KGB? On Plushikha, building 9A.

Yes?

Oh, okay.

Okay, thank you.

Thank you.

Can I come in? Bye.

Tolia, Plushikha, Plushikha street, building 9A.

Now we go shopping.

This is Dzerzhinsky, founder of the KGB.

There are not many busts of him left, of course.

Many people choose to forget him.

This building has not been used since, well, since the coup.

There are eight suites like this, and they all got showers.

People used to work very late here.

There are two large rooms on the ground floor you could use as classrooms.

There's a canteen.

Triple glazing.

Excellent soundproofing, obviously.

Why, obviously.

Interrogations can be noisy affairs.

Stupid question.

I hear you can see Siberia from the first floor. Is that right?

So we can have this building, eh?

Doesn't it belong to anybody then?

If anyone claims responsibility for it, you would have to answer some very

awkward questions.

What do you think?

I think how much.

Of course, I will have to find lawyers to draw up the paper as well. That will

be complicated.

Lawyers are always complicated.

And of course, there's your commission.

Naturally. If you want us to be capitalists, what do you expect?

Give her a ring now.

Can you tie down Warburg's room for me, please?

She's in the coffee bar now with Nikolai Fersen.

Please, could you get for me his autograph?

Yeah, what's your name?

Zoya.

Diane, we found a home for the street kids.

Oh, that's great. Yes, and you found them.

I've got cousins in the Ukraine.

Oh, no, that's great.

Frank Carver.

Nikolai. Nikolai helps. I know that.

You're very popular here. There's a little girl at a reception. She wants

autograph. Very good.

This is the Ukraine.

If we don't stop in the next 30 seconds, I think I'm going to be sick.

How are you feeling now? Better?

Better than what?

I think we may have found him.

It doesn't look like there's one here.

This is the one. This is what the priest said.

Meet the family.

And this is my grandfather.

Ask them if they recognize him.

Ask them if they know what happened to the rest of the family during the war.

He says

he's

very sorry and he does not wish to be rude.

But if they do not leave now, they will be late for church.

They are not Jewish anymore.

Does it matter, Diane?

I don't know what I'm doing here.

I'm missing my real family.

Isn't that fantastic?

Yeah, she flew out there this afternoon.

Well, wouldn't you?

Christ, no.

I've got enough relatives to avoid in Brooklyn without extra freeloaders from

Russia.

Oh,

and the good news goes on.

I've sorted out the squatter problem.

You're a sort of special kind of woman.

Yes, I know.

Hey, look, I'm sorry about saying you were broody.

Thank you.

Hold on.

Don't you want to know what I've done?

We found them an empty KGB building.

And we only need $100 ,000 for a lease and some furniture.

I wish you luck raising the money.

We? Oh, you and Frank.

Hey, that's great of you.

I mean the foundation, Marshal.

Out of the contingency fund.

What?

But I'm entitled to authorize that kind of money.

Sure you are. And if you hadn't told me, I wouldn't have noticed.

But you told me.

Listen, Tessa.

You want to give money to the kids?

Go to the Salvation Army.

Anyway, good talking to you. Great work.

See you for dinner next week.

Bastard.

What have I said?

What is it with that man? Does he hate children or something?

Yeah, I know, love.

No, you don't.

You just wish I'd shut up about it.

Well, that too.

But I don't know what you're having a go at me for.

I'm on your side.

Look.

You can't go resigning the first time you don't get your own way.

You say anything about resigning?

You did, five minutes ago.

Well, I've changed my mind.

I'm staying in till I get even.

Good girl.

And if Barn Black won't cough up, we'll just have to do it ourselves.

Huh?

We can get the money.

How, rob a bank?

No.

Sell the field kitchens to George Kelsey.

I don't want to.

Why?

You've always said the way to make money is to build up a company and then sell

it off.

Yeah, when I'm good and ready.

He's talking about 200 outlets.

200 ,000 is chicken feed.

So?

Phone him up and tell him it isn't enough.

No way.

Please, Frank.

No.

I could get a million quid if I push him.

It can leave you crying.

Love hurts.

It can turn you upside down. Oh, how love hurts.

So if it's just a game that you're playing, you better

know that love hurts.

There's no doubt about it.

Love hurts.

But who can live without it?

So you better run and hide, but remember,

love hurts you just the same.

Love hurts you just... Thank you.