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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,050 Hey, Fer! 2 00:00:20,731 --> 00:00:27,679 Let's see if I've got this right so far. The family of a High Court judge are 3 00:00:27,680 --> 00:00:31,199 all found murdered, but the judge himself's gone missing. We tracked down 4 00:00:31,200 --> 00:00:34,959 woman we think he's been having an affair with, and by now she's been 5 00:00:34,960 --> 00:00:36,010 death as well. 6 00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:38,830 I don't know if you've got a strong stomach, Mr Lipton. 7 00:00:39,760 --> 00:00:42,920 Well, God, these are appalling. 8 00:00:43,300 --> 00:00:46,240 Well, police photographers can't expect quality. 9 00:00:47,660 --> 00:00:50,430 Notice the couple there, the son and daughter -in -law. 10 00:00:50,660 --> 00:00:52,700 They're still sitting at a chess table. 11 00:00:53,240 --> 00:00:56,010 The board and the pieces still laid out in front of them. 12 00:00:56,780 --> 00:01:00,579 Macabre. There's something wrong with that picture. I just wish I could work 13 00:01:00,580 --> 00:01:01,630 what it is. 14 00:01:02,240 --> 00:01:03,800 And then what about the canary? 15 00:01:04,080 --> 00:01:05,130 Exactly. 16 00:01:05,940 --> 00:01:06,990 What canary? 17 00:01:06,991 --> 00:01:11,279 When I found the girlfriend's body, there was a dead canary lying on the 18 00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:12,330 of its cage. 19 00:01:13,360 --> 00:01:16,610 Well, Teneris aren't noted for the high suicide rate, Mr Lipson. 20 00:01:16,820 --> 00:01:18,920 I'm very dodgy about this whole story. 21 00:01:18,921 --> 00:01:22,479 And very dangerous. I'm not sure it's safe for you to be investigating all 22 00:01:22,480 --> 00:01:23,720 violence and brutality. 23 00:01:24,540 --> 00:01:26,520 I've covered Labour Party conferences. 24 00:01:26,521 --> 00:01:27,559 I'll manage. 25 00:01:27,560 --> 00:01:29,960 And I've been meeting with Mr Rathbone now. 26 00:01:29,961 --> 00:01:34,019 Well, stick with it for the moment then, Maggie. I'm hoping for a good, honest 27 00:01:34,020 --> 00:01:35,460 story from this in the end. 28 00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:37,140 God knows we need one. 29 00:01:37,600 --> 00:01:38,650 See you, Mr Lipson. 30 00:01:41,710 --> 00:01:44,330 35 years ago, Terence Rathbone had a dream. 31 00:01:44,910 --> 00:01:49,709 He dreamt of a place of magic, fun and excitement on a high -yield investment 32 00:01:49,710 --> 00:01:55,409 basis. A happy land where children laugh and sing and dog turds are a thing of 33 00:01:55,410 --> 00:01:56,460 the past. 34 00:01:57,580 --> 00:02:02,219 Everyone can share in that dream at Rat World, a fantasy land for all the family 35 00:02:02,220 --> 00:02:04,039 of non -exportative admission prices. 36 00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:08,299 At Rat World, you'll gaze in wonder at our life -size animated models of the 37 00:02:08,300 --> 00:02:09,350 royal family. 38 00:02:10,300 --> 00:02:11,760 They're almost real. 39 00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:16,979 For the first time, you can go inside the palace and watch the queen scrubbing 40 00:02:16,980 --> 00:02:21,099 her toenails in the bath and Diana hurling four -letter obscenities at each 41 00:02:21,100 --> 00:02:22,150 other. 42 00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:27,360 Andrew going to the lavatory. Yes, there's something for everyone at Rat 43 00:02:27,900 --> 00:02:32,279 Visit Britt Eklund's house of toy boys for a special puppet show of her 44 00:02:32,280 --> 00:02:37,219 favourite sexual positions every half hour. Then, why not take a trip to the 45 00:02:37,220 --> 00:02:41,620 wonderful world of the loony left, where everything is topsy -turvy. 46 00:02:42,329 --> 00:02:46,389 Lesbians frolic in the woods. Money grows on trees. And Labour councillors 47 00:02:46,390 --> 00:02:48,190 to discuss their spending policies. 48 00:02:48,810 --> 00:02:53,210 Yes, rat world. For a dazzling day out amid nature's miracles. 49 00:02:53,470 --> 00:02:56,480 Near Farringbridge in Hampshire, formerly the New Forest. 50 00:03:02,130 --> 00:03:04,050 I don't know what to say, sir. 51 00:03:04,530 --> 00:03:07,330 I mean, the New Forest used to be home to... 52 00:03:07,690 --> 00:03:08,850 Deer and ponies. 53 00:03:08,851 --> 00:03:12,589 Conservation of the local fauna was our top priority, Dickie. We had them all 54 00:03:12,590 --> 00:03:14,270 skinned and turned into robots. 55 00:03:15,910 --> 00:03:18,090 Extinction becomes a thing of the past. 56 00:03:18,630 --> 00:03:21,990 But all these shows and attractions, this is everything you hate. 57 00:03:22,470 --> 00:03:25,780 This is what we're trying to eradicate in the Crucible, isn't it? 58 00:03:27,090 --> 00:03:28,190 Yes, of course it is. 59 00:03:28,630 --> 00:03:32,890 You shouldn't have had Russell Spam on board as creative advisor. Still! 60 00:03:33,850 --> 00:03:39,509 What can be ironed out? I didn't build Rat World as the ultimate in tacky 61 00:03:39,510 --> 00:03:43,270 commercialism. I built it as a monument for the nation. 62 00:03:46,330 --> 00:03:50,129 I'm sorry. I cannot endorse it in its present form and I cannot publish these 63 00:03:50,130 --> 00:03:51,330 adverts in the Crucible. 64 00:03:51,850 --> 00:03:55,400 Now, if you'll excuse me, I have urgent things to attend to downstairs. 65 00:03:56,310 --> 00:03:59,430 Yes, well, uh... Good morning, Mr. Rathbaird. 66 00:04:00,850 --> 00:04:01,900 Yes, Dickie. 67 00:04:02,480 --> 00:04:03,660 Good morning. 68 00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:19,940 And finally, our resident psychiatrist, Dr. Lillian Schwarzkopf, 69 00:04:20,120 --> 00:04:24,040 for her weekly column on the couch with lobotomy Lil. 70 00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:31,300 Dear Lil, I have just undergone the distressing experience of a mastectomy. 71 00:04:31,900 --> 00:04:36,500 It has left me totally shattered and unable to cope with life anymore. 72 00:04:37,940 --> 00:04:39,320 Lil replies, 73 00:04:40,100 --> 00:04:43,820 Cheer up, lovey, and keep your pecker up. 74 00:04:45,900 --> 00:04:50,419 Okay, so you're a knocker down on most women, but you're still one up on Marty 75 00:04:50,420 --> 00:04:51,470 Kane. 76 00:04:53,260 --> 00:04:56,760 Your contracts all expire at the end of the month. 77 00:04:57,440 --> 00:04:59,280 They will not be renewed. 78 00:05:07,850 --> 00:05:12,509 It is too good for a man whose mission to El Salvador as political 79 00:05:12,510 --> 00:05:15,170 resulted in a horse being sawn in half. 80 00:05:16,330 --> 00:05:21,489 I am therefore demoting you to the lowliest rank possible in a national 81 00:05:21,490 --> 00:05:25,190 newspaper. As from now, you are show business editor. 82 00:05:26,310 --> 00:05:29,140 Really, Mr. Lipton, are you sure? Not another word, Greg. 83 00:05:29,250 --> 00:05:31,070 Out! I've got a lot to do. 84 00:05:39,210 --> 00:05:43,269 Joe Russell, probably of which brings me to what must be one of the greatest 85 00:05:43,270 --> 00:05:45,990 single mysteries in modern civilization. 86 00:05:46,670 --> 00:05:49,850 Who is it that writes the captions for the page three girl? 87 00:05:50,230 --> 00:05:57,169 What species of deformed mutant can sit down and compose lines 88 00:05:57,170 --> 00:05:58,220 like these? 89 00:05:59,390 --> 00:06:03,730 Cockney Cawker, Susie Tompkins, 17, is a real brainy beauty. 90 00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:05,990 She's got an O -level in geography. 91 00:06:07,950 --> 00:06:11,630 Well, as we know one thing, her contours have certainly put her on the map. 92 00:06:14,790 --> 00:06:17,730 A tree died for this, Russell. 93 00:06:19,250 --> 00:06:22,710 She's a lump of plastic with teeth. 94 00:06:23,290 --> 00:06:26,890 The women here are just about as real as the robots in Rat World. 95 00:06:27,270 --> 00:06:29,710 Well, as for now, they're out. 96 00:06:30,150 --> 00:06:33,730 There will be no more topless girls in this newspaper. 97 00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:44,970 It worries me more than I can pay, Russell. I wish I'd never said I'd on 98 00:06:45,430 --> 00:06:47,450 Dickie Lipton's old medical records. 99 00:06:47,870 --> 00:06:52,109 As the actor in Rep, he suffered a severe nervous breakdown brought on by 100 00:06:52,110 --> 00:06:56,150 pressures of playing King Lear and Widow Twankie on alternate nights. 101 00:06:57,470 --> 00:07:02,269 He made a good discovery, of course, and has been in perfect mental health ever 102 00:07:02,270 --> 00:07:03,320 since. 103 00:07:03,750 --> 00:07:07,930 Nevertheless, Russell... You've got me worrying as well now, sir. 104 00:07:08,780 --> 00:07:14,999 Who's to say that further emotional stress, fatigue and confusion might not 105 00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:18,960 again push him over the precipice into the twilight zone of madness? 106 00:07:23,320 --> 00:07:28,480 Script A50 brings us up to week 46, which is one of yours, Tony. 107 00:07:28,920 --> 00:07:35,160 Then Gillian's, in which we finally discover the identity of the child's 108 00:07:35,440 --> 00:07:37,060 Any points, anyone? 109 00:07:37,500 --> 00:07:42,859 Yes. I'm not very happy with the master storyline, I'm afraid, though I've drawn 110 00:07:42,860 --> 00:07:43,910 up a few changes. 111 00:07:43,980 --> 00:07:48,140 In the first week's episode, Angie kills herself with a meat cleaver. 112 00:07:48,940 --> 00:07:51,680 After her new lover goes off with Kenny Everett. 113 00:07:52,940 --> 00:07:54,940 And Doc Cotton becomes pregnant. 114 00:07:56,420 --> 00:07:59,420 After Libby and Gunman occupy the local laundrette. 115 00:08:00,780 --> 00:08:03,190 A plain invitation from the left -wing council. 116 00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:06,820 Also, I've rejigged your script for tomorrow, Jonathan. 117 00:08:06,821 --> 00:08:09,579 The manager gave you the new script pages to type up. 118 00:08:09,580 --> 00:08:11,930 All right, come on. You've no right to be in here. 119 00:08:12,080 --> 00:08:16,319 But I presented my documentation at the gate. I told you, possession of a BBC 120 00:08:16,320 --> 00:08:19,270 licence does not grant you the right to direct programmes. 121 00:08:20,460 --> 00:08:21,510 There we go. 122 00:08:21,600 --> 00:08:23,400 This is trial by television. 123 00:08:29,230 --> 00:08:33,209 I hope the information I've given you will be of use in fathoming out the 124 00:08:33,210 --> 00:08:34,570 affair at number 15. 125 00:08:34,909 --> 00:08:39,570 Oh, I'm sure it will. And I've really enjoyed our three -hour discussion. 126 00:08:39,571 --> 00:08:43,989 Incidentally, some of the other reporters who've interviewed me thought 127 00:08:43,990 --> 00:08:45,040 little bit strange. 128 00:08:45,210 --> 00:08:46,260 Yeah? 129 00:08:46,510 --> 00:08:49,550 Just because you saw a yeti going into her house. 130 00:08:49,750 --> 00:08:55,270 Very valuable, eh? I'm not certain it was a yeti. It was very dark at the 131 00:08:55,350 --> 00:08:58,710 It could have been a yeti or Bigfoot. 132 00:08:59,120 --> 00:09:00,500 as it's colloquially known. 133 00:09:00,800 --> 00:09:07,339 Or indeed, some other gigantic species of ape -related extraterrestrial from 134 00:09:07,340 --> 00:09:11,500 another world, say, Jupiter or Uranus. 135 00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:15,960 It was very large, with huge, lumbering feet. 136 00:09:16,320 --> 00:09:19,500 Feet. Terrific. Well, thanks for all the leaflets. 137 00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:23,699 Incidentally. If you did wish to know more about my strange sightings and 138 00:09:23,700 --> 00:09:27,380 discoveries, why not pop in one night to our local society? 139 00:09:27,620 --> 00:09:31,800 It's the South Peckham and District UFO and Intriguing Phenomena Society. 140 00:09:34,120 --> 00:09:35,170 Spadufoits. 141 00:09:36,280 --> 00:09:38,160 And my name's Pooley. 142 00:09:38,520 --> 00:09:42,320 P -O -O -L -Y. 143 00:09:42,800 --> 00:09:43,850 Trevor. 144 00:09:44,220 --> 00:09:47,060 Pooley. The first evening I get free. 145 00:09:47,300 --> 00:09:50,430 OK, well, all the best, then, and thanks for your information. 146 00:09:50,680 --> 00:09:53,930 Nice to have met you, Miss Troon. Oh, nice to have met you, Mr Loopy. 147 00:09:53,931 --> 00:10:00,299 Look, Russell, you're just trying to confuse me. It doesn't make sense. 148 00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:04,739 How could Dirty Dan's cousin Susie be having an affair with a former Nazi war 149 00:10:04,740 --> 00:10:09,740 criminal? It's quite clear it's Greg's copy, Dickie. A man named Jim Barnes. 150 00:10:10,660 --> 00:10:14,720 Yes, but Jim Barnes isn't a former Nazi war criminal. Well, of course he is. 151 00:10:15,999 --> 00:10:19,069 What, just because he played a Gestapo officer in a low, low? 152 00:10:20,260 --> 00:10:23,060 No, no, it isn't real. It's just a TV series. 153 00:10:23,680 --> 00:10:25,120 So is EastEnders, Dickie. 154 00:10:25,920 --> 00:10:28,980 Yes, but in EastEnders, he's not a Gestapo officer. 155 00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:32,710 No, he isn't in EastEnders, Dickie. He's in Brookside. 156 00:10:32,711 --> 00:10:38,179 Why should he be having an affair with Dirty Dan's cousin if she's in 157 00:10:38,180 --> 00:10:41,860 EastEnders? She isn't in EastEnders. She's in Brookside. 158 00:10:41,861 --> 00:10:45,119 But you just said she was Dirty Dan's cousin. 159 00:10:45,120 --> 00:10:46,170 She is. 160 00:10:48,460 --> 00:10:52,540 How could Dirty Dan's cousin in EastEnders be his cousin in Brookside? 161 00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:56,040 She isn't Dirty Dan's cousin in EastEnders, Dickie. 162 00:10:56,480 --> 00:10:57,900 But you just said she was. 163 00:10:58,520 --> 00:11:01,140 No, she's Dirty Dan's cousin in real life. 164 00:11:11,491 --> 00:11:17,879 The picket's on the front gate. It took me half an hour to get through. 165 00:11:17,880 --> 00:11:18,930 The picket? 166 00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:21,490 Well, we settled the Sogat dispute weeks ago. 167 00:11:21,660 --> 00:11:22,860 It's not Sogat, Russell. 168 00:11:23,460 --> 00:11:24,520 It's worse than that. 169 00:11:25,460 --> 00:11:26,510 Much worse. 170 00:11:26,760 --> 00:11:31,139 As the crippling strike by page three girls enters its second week, sales of 171 00:11:31,140 --> 00:11:36,039 the major tabloids have tumbled by 60%. But the girls' newly formed union, the 172 00:11:36,040 --> 00:11:40,319 Democratic Federation of Luscious Lovelies, plans to stay on strike until 173 00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:42,300 members at the Crucible are reinstated. 174 00:11:42,610 --> 00:11:46,749 General Secretary Mandy Papworth, 18, said, we're not as brainless as people 175 00:11:46,750 --> 00:11:49,970 think. If necessary, we'll take our case to amputation. 176 00:11:50,670 --> 00:11:54,329 And then John Helmender today launched an attack on a new front by 177 00:11:54,330 --> 00:11:59,289 outside the entrance to Rat World, the multi -million pound amusement park of 178 00:11:59,290 --> 00:12:00,970 Crucible owner Terence Rathbone. 179 00:12:00,971 --> 00:12:05,589 Thousands of potential customers turned back, refusing to cross the picket line. 180 00:12:05,590 --> 00:12:09,639 The man who started the whole dispute, Mr Richard Lipton, now being dubbed in 181 00:12:09,640 --> 00:12:13,479 rival newspapers the tit -finder general, who came on the quarter earlier 182 00:12:13,480 --> 00:12:15,950 outside the Crucible's premises in East London. 183 00:12:16,160 --> 00:12:20,459 No, I do not prepare to bring back topless girls in the Crucible. To be 184 00:12:20,460 --> 00:12:23,950 find naked bosoms quite distasteful. Well, stop toasting them, then. 185 00:12:25,420 --> 00:12:30,219 Quite distasteful and an insult to women. I intend to preserve and protect 186 00:12:30,220 --> 00:12:33,240 values I hold most dear, the simple values of human dignity. 187 00:12:41,791 --> 00:12:49,479 This page three dispute is getting out of hand, Dickie. It was with unbridled 188 00:12:49,480 --> 00:12:52,899 horror that I heard last night how you were beaten up in an alleyway by a gang 189 00:12:52,900 --> 00:12:56,880 of cavacious cuties. For God's sake, this must be settled. 190 00:12:57,400 --> 00:13:01,619 As a lifelong socialist, I cannot stand by and see innocent, sexy Sizzlers 191 00:13:01,620 --> 00:13:06,059 thrown on the scrap heap. I cannot deny an individual the right to work, for 192 00:13:06,060 --> 00:13:10,579 denying an individual the right to work is the effect of a bad curry in the 193 00:13:10,580 --> 00:13:11,720 bottom of my heart. 194 00:13:13,090 --> 00:13:16,889 Without in the least usurping your authority, I've referred this whole 195 00:13:16,890 --> 00:13:20,410 to ACAS, and I trust you'll abide by their decision. 196 00:13:21,290 --> 00:13:22,340 ACAS? 197 00:13:23,890 --> 00:13:24,940 Right. 198 00:13:24,941 --> 00:13:30,549 Incidentally, I hope you'll let me know if the strain is getting too much, 199 00:13:30,550 --> 00:13:34,630 Dickie. If I thought all this was turning you into a mindless, gibbering 200 00:13:34,910 --> 00:13:37,050 I'd have it on my conscience forever. 201 00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:38,300 More Valium. 202 00:13:42,180 --> 00:13:46,439 another report I found snooping around this morning, I hear. This is about the 203 00:13:46,440 --> 00:13:48,610 only place left now you can get any privacy. 204 00:14:02,251 --> 00:14:09,859 Confirmed that a deal has been worked out in this dispute, and I've been asked 205 00:14:09,860 --> 00:14:11,580 to read the following statement. 206 00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:18,080 From midnight tonight, the girls will resume normal working. 207 00:14:19,120 --> 00:14:23,959 In return, the management of the Daily Crucible have agreed to reinstate all 208 00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:28,540 photographs of bare breasts backdated to the 1st of March. 209 00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:34,000 So, there'll be 13 pairs of them on page three tomorrow. 210 00:14:35,720 --> 00:14:41,280 The pay structure will be phased in with differentials linked to nipple size. 211 00:14:42,420 --> 00:14:47,279 And for scaled and highly scaled models, those with more than one facial 212 00:14:47,280 --> 00:14:53,299 expression, there will be an incentive scheme involving Nick Kershaw's phone 213 00:14:53,300 --> 00:14:54,350 number. Thank you. 214 00:14:57,980 --> 00:14:59,720 Which one do you think, Dickie? 215 00:15:00,480 --> 00:15:02,880 Page three, pick, strike, spiked. 216 00:15:03,320 --> 00:15:08,539 Tip Finder General delts no -blows body blow as Dreamboat Dolly Deal gives green 217 00:15:08,540 --> 00:15:11,240 light to Presspix Fleshpot Jackpot. 218 00:15:12,500 --> 00:15:13,550 Pardon, Russell. 219 00:15:13,551 --> 00:15:14,819 Huh? 220 00:15:14,820 --> 00:15:16,200 Or this one. 221 00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:20,060 Chest Flash Chick Fans Cheer Chart of a Cheesecake. 222 00:15:32,840 --> 00:15:34,460 what you're saying to me anymore. 223 00:15:34,620 --> 00:15:35,880 Don't want to think, Jack. 224 00:15:37,420 --> 00:15:38,980 Shovel with the spread, Dickie. 225 00:15:40,800 --> 00:15:46,379 TV star that spills all in the first installment of her sizzling bonk and 226 00:15:46,380 --> 00:15:47,520 memoirs. 227 00:15:48,680 --> 00:15:53,119 Former actress Goldie Finch tells it like it is behind the scenes and between 228 00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:54,170 the sheets. 229 00:15:54,460 --> 00:16:01,059 Over the next week, I will reveal, blob, how I put on black suspenders for 230 00:16:01,060 --> 00:16:02,110 Friar Tuck. 231 00:16:05,960 --> 00:16:07,300 to a Dalek. 232 00:16:09,100 --> 00:16:15,200 Blah. How I was ravished at a showbiz orgy by Roland Ratt and Orville the 233 00:16:16,660 --> 00:16:21,060 And ended up in a Soho nightclub snorting copasute. 234 00:16:22,880 --> 00:16:26,540 Russell, I don't think I know what you're trying to do to me here. 235 00:16:26,820 --> 00:16:31,600 I think I can't see that all this is just a try and make me crack up. 236 00:16:32,040 --> 00:16:34,680 Sorry, Dickie. Well, it hasn't worked, has it? 237 00:16:35,100 --> 00:16:37,600 Because I know what your game is. 238 00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:43,320 I know what a tissue of lies all this is, Russell. Yes, Dickie. Yes, I know. 239 00:16:43,460 --> 00:16:45,120 Because Sooty told me. 240 00:16:47,460 --> 00:16:48,700 Thank you, Sooty. 241 00:16:50,660 --> 00:16:55,980 Right. And from now on, Sooty and I are taking no nonsense from anyone. 242 00:17:06,829 --> 00:17:10,868 Yes, we're first with the news again, as the white -hot crucible brings you the 243 00:17:10,869 --> 00:17:14,469 burning issues of the century, the sensational medical secrets of the 244 00:17:14,470 --> 00:17:19,449 EastEnders. Top -level investigative journalism triumphs again, as we uncork 245 00:17:19,450 --> 00:17:24,589 amazing urine samples of the soap superstars. Yes, it's all in their 246 00:17:24,590 --> 00:17:25,848 Who's threatened? 247 00:17:25,849 --> 00:17:26,809 Who's diabetic? 248 00:17:26,810 --> 00:17:28,609 Which well -known character is an alcoholic? 249 00:17:28,610 --> 00:17:32,869 And just who has an embarrassing complaint that needs two injections a 250 00:17:32,870 --> 00:17:33,920 it clears up? 251 00:17:34,560 --> 00:17:39,119 Carly Street urologist tests the water and tells all. All this plus a chance to 252 00:17:39,120 --> 00:17:43,339 win a year at Rat World with the dummy Queen and Prince Philip. Only in the 253 00:17:43,340 --> 00:17:46,240 crucible tomorrow. The paper with integrity. 254 00:17:48,320 --> 00:17:54,480 Words cannot describe, gentlemen, the outrageousness of this tasteless drivel. 255 00:17:54,760 --> 00:17:59,399 Quite aside from how you came to acquire these unspeakable specimens in the 256 00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:00,450 first place. 257 00:18:00,720 --> 00:18:05,859 I and the BBC want to know what you propose to do to make amends for this 258 00:18:05,860 --> 00:18:06,910 atrocity. 259 00:18:08,260 --> 00:18:10,400 I understand your feelings, of course. 260 00:18:10,780 --> 00:18:15,779 I fully sympathise with them. I can only ask you to be assured I'm in total 261 00:18:15,780 --> 00:18:21,499 command of the situation and that I... Oh, my God, no, sit down. What are you 262 00:18:21,500 --> 00:18:22,820 doing with that metal bar? 263 00:18:55,800 --> 00:18:58,990 Afternoon. I'm Maggie Trink from the Daily Crucible newspaper. 264 00:18:59,440 --> 00:19:03,460 I wonder if you could spare... Not today, darling. We're very busy men. 265 00:19:03,760 --> 00:19:05,810 Why don't you hop in like a nice girl, eh? 266 00:19:06,180 --> 00:19:11,079 Right. I suppose you've heard that the woman from next door here was found 267 00:19:11,080 --> 00:19:15,240 murdered. Look, we don't know anything and we haven't seen anyone. 268 00:19:15,580 --> 00:19:17,630 And if we had, we wouldn't tell the press. 269 00:19:17,720 --> 00:19:19,600 Because they're the scum of the earth. 270 00:19:19,900 --> 00:19:20,950 OK? 271 00:19:24,360 --> 00:19:25,680 Thanks for your help, then. 272 00:19:27,620 --> 00:19:32,199 Let a brick work between these sessions. Are you using timber or high -tensile 273 00:19:32,200 --> 00:19:34,000 steel for these roof truss collars? 274 00:19:34,520 --> 00:19:35,570 Timber. 275 00:19:36,740 --> 00:19:39,450 I don't give much for your compressive stress ratios. 276 00:19:41,520 --> 00:19:42,570 See you. 277 00:20:28,750 --> 00:20:33,370 From the University of London, we bring you Miss Brainy Breasts of Britain, 278 00:20:33,570 --> 00:20:36,550 introduced by your host, Richard Lipton. 279 00:20:36,770 --> 00:20:42,249 And at the end of that run, Stephanie, you have scored no points today. You 280 00:20:42,250 --> 00:20:43,890 passed on 36. 281 00:20:44,270 --> 00:20:48,190 The letters USA stand for United States of America. 282 00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:05,400 Contender, please, Miss Rat World. 283 00:21:08,620 --> 00:21:12,380 Miss Rat World is an 18 -year -old mechanical robot. 284 00:21:12,760 --> 00:21:17,360 Her hobbies are megalomania, self -publicity, and lifelong socialism. 285 00:21:17,820 --> 00:21:21,920 Her ambition is to go around the world and buy it. 286 00:21:23,080 --> 00:21:25,940 Greg, may I have the jar of human organs, please? 287 00:21:27,880 --> 00:21:33,430 And you have dead... They can decide whether these are Dirty Dan's 288 00:21:33,710 --> 00:21:36,570 or the duck's kidney stones, or Martin Cain's... 289 00:21:55,741 --> 00:22:01,029 Right, you can paint the front of it any colour you want. 290 00:22:01,030 --> 00:22:02,790 This is one here that I did earlier. 291 00:22:02,990 --> 00:22:06,489 And I'm sure if your mummy got one of these for Mother's Day, she'd be 292 00:22:06,490 --> 00:22:08,869 absolutely thrilled to bits. And the good thing about it... 293 00:22:08,870 --> 00:22:15,829 It was a mistake anyone could have 294 00:22:15,830 --> 00:22:21,009 made, Mr Rathbone. It seems that when Dickie came to in the BBC studio set of 295 00:22:21,010 --> 00:22:25,869 the series, Casualty, where we left him for a lie down, he thought it was a real 296 00:22:25,870 --> 00:22:30,159 hospital. He got out of the bed and stumbled naked into the studio next door 297 00:22:30,160 --> 00:22:32,500 during a live broadcast of Blue Peter. 298 00:22:33,320 --> 00:22:37,839 We can but hope that the shock of exposing his genitals to millions of 299 00:22:37,840 --> 00:22:43,459 schoolchildren at tea time will not impede his return to full health. And I, 300 00:22:43,460 --> 00:22:47,199 my part, will personally ensure that his rest cure at the London Rat Health 301 00:22:47,200 --> 00:22:51,399 Clinic is made as comfortable as possible and that he's fully shielded 302 00:22:51,400 --> 00:22:54,360 upset that might unhinge his mind. 303 00:22:55,080 --> 00:22:59,139 Well, I feel as fit as a fiddle again and ready to get back to work at the 304 00:22:59,140 --> 00:23:02,990 crucible again. And may I thank you, Mr. Rathbone, from the bottom of my heart, 305 00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:08,960 for your kindness, understanding, tireless support, and... Impressed, 306 00:23:09,200 --> 00:23:11,300 How they do it beats me. 307 00:23:12,400 --> 00:23:16,579 As from tomorrow, this automated robot will have pride of place at Rat World in 308 00:23:16,580 --> 00:23:19,500 the new exhibit, Great Flashers of the 20th Century. 309 00:23:19,700 --> 00:23:21,180 Well done, Dickie. 310 00:23:41,900 --> 00:23:47,599 off his master, and a story with some sordid text. Feel someone's secrets we 311 00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:50,070 have grabbed, famous facts that we have stabbed. 312 00:23:50,071 --> 00:23:51,189 Now you want to know 313 00:23:51,190 --> 00:23:55,740 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 28263

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