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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:10,960 --> 00:00:17,020 All thanks to you, these things I do. 2 00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:21,880 Because of you. 3 00:00:23,700 --> 00:00:26,080 Because of you. 4 00:00:30,920 --> 00:00:31,970 Mr. 5 00:00:35,120 --> 00:00:38,560 Morella? Hey, my boy, my son. 6 00:00:38,820 --> 00:00:39,870 Ah, yes. 7 00:00:39,871 --> 00:00:44,399 Will you be doing that every time we meet, Mr. Morella? Of course. Now you're 8 00:00:44,400 --> 00:00:46,510 family. You're going to marry my daughter. 9 00:00:46,600 --> 00:00:49,760 Yes. Talking of Lucia, I wonder if I might have a word with her. 10 00:00:50,720 --> 00:00:55,640 The beautiful flower calls the hummingbird to drink her nectar. 11 00:00:56,560 --> 00:00:58,020 Yeah, something like that. 12 00:00:58,400 --> 00:00:59,450 Alone, if possible. 13 00:00:59,680 --> 00:01:01,920 Good. Any time. Now you're engaged. 14 00:01:03,720 --> 00:01:05,660 Love and death. 15 00:01:06,300 --> 00:01:07,350 This is life. 16 00:01:07,660 --> 00:01:10,490 Mustn't forget the death part, must we? Is she in there? 17 00:01:10,540 --> 00:01:11,590 Sit. 18 00:01:19,651 --> 00:01:26,679 All right, Lucia, what are you playing at? I'm not playing at anything. 19 00:01:26,680 --> 00:01:29,200 No? Just give me a flower, she said. 20 00:01:29,660 --> 00:01:31,280 Doesn't mean anything, she said. 21 00:01:31,600 --> 00:01:34,060 Not blood... Not bloody much, it doesn't. 22 00:01:35,360 --> 00:01:37,480 I'll propose him without even knowing it. 23 00:01:37,481 --> 00:01:40,509 Well, you didn't say anything at the time. Well, I couldn't, could I? 24 00:01:40,510 --> 00:01:43,760 I was pinned to the floor under a scrum of your kissing relatives. 25 00:01:43,761 --> 00:01:47,209 And then I was pinned to the wall by your two giant brothers saying things 26 00:01:47,210 --> 00:01:49,310 are you a spectre or else? 27 00:01:49,570 --> 00:01:50,950 Oh, they don't mean any harm. 28 00:01:50,990 --> 00:01:52,850 No, not to you they don't mean any harm. 29 00:01:52,851 --> 00:01:55,849 Right, now, come on, you've had your fun. Go and tell your mum and dad that 30 00:01:55,850 --> 00:01:56,900 was all a big joke. 31 00:01:58,950 --> 00:02:00,000 Why? 32 00:02:00,250 --> 00:02:03,790 I've got to get away from this family of mine. They're stifling me. 33 00:02:04,110 --> 00:02:05,370 I'm not old Sicilian. 34 00:02:05,750 --> 00:02:06,800 I've got to get out. 35 00:02:06,801 --> 00:02:07,549 Oh, cheer. 36 00:02:07,550 --> 00:02:09,449 I am not an escape tunnel. 37 00:02:09,450 --> 00:02:12,049 I'd make you a good wife. I don't want a good wife. 38 00:02:12,050 --> 00:02:15,810 I'm a good cook. I'd keep the house spotless. We are not going to have a 39 00:02:16,110 --> 00:02:18,700 When the children come along, I'll be a good mother. 40 00:02:18,870 --> 00:02:20,730 How many of them are there going to be? 41 00:02:20,850 --> 00:02:22,790 Fifteen? As many as you like. None. 42 00:02:24,250 --> 00:02:26,570 I'm fond of you, Jacko. Oh, thanks. 43 00:02:27,090 --> 00:02:29,350 And I have a very passionate nature. 44 00:02:29,750 --> 00:02:30,800 You know that. 45 00:02:31,090 --> 00:02:36,129 Yes, I have noticed that, Lucia, but that is no basis either. You can't 46 00:02:36,130 --> 00:02:39,869 bloke to lie there and think, Ooh, lovely. When he's been tricked into 47 00:02:39,870 --> 00:02:40,920 in the first place. 48 00:02:40,921 --> 00:02:42,829 Now, please. 49 00:02:42,830 --> 00:02:43,880 Please, come on. 50 00:02:43,881 --> 00:02:48,669 Right, well, I've had enough of this childish conversation. 51 00:02:48,670 --> 00:02:49,930 I made a lovely cake today. 52 00:02:49,931 --> 00:02:50,749 Oh, did you? 53 00:02:50,750 --> 00:02:52,230 Well, eat it yourself. 54 00:03:04,040 --> 00:03:07,939 Look, excuse me, Miss Morello. I wonder if I could have a word. A very serious 55 00:03:07,940 --> 00:03:08,990 word. 56 00:03:09,160 --> 00:03:10,400 Just a minute, Jaco. 57 00:03:11,060 --> 00:03:13,920 Look, I told you, the hoist is broken. 58 00:03:14,480 --> 00:03:15,530 Don't be babies. 59 00:03:15,920 --> 00:03:17,400 Lift the stones off the lorry. 60 00:03:22,540 --> 00:03:24,020 Is that granite? 61 00:03:24,620 --> 00:03:25,670 Yes. 62 00:03:33,740 --> 00:03:35,120 I'm sorry about that, Jocko. 63 00:03:35,820 --> 00:03:38,040 What is this serious thing you want to say? 64 00:03:38,300 --> 00:03:41,340 You know, Mr Morella, I've... I've completely forgotten. 65 00:03:49,460 --> 00:03:51,040 All right, clever clocks. 66 00:03:51,260 --> 00:03:52,520 What would you have done? 67 00:03:52,620 --> 00:03:56,530 Spoken up like George Washington and been turned into a granite sandwich? No. 68 00:03:56,531 --> 00:03:59,919 I wouldn't have been there in the first place. I'd have been at home with my 69 00:03:59,920 --> 00:04:02,180 wife. Blame your Lego, presumably. 70 00:04:02,720 --> 00:04:06,839 Oh, you were a bad -ass family till I was blue in the face. An alarmist, you 71 00:04:06,840 --> 00:04:07,459 call me. 72 00:04:07,460 --> 00:04:11,080 So now you're doing the I told you so, are you? Yeah, I told you so. 73 00:04:12,840 --> 00:04:13,890 Jean! 74 00:04:14,500 --> 00:04:17,079 I can't get over the nerve of this, Lucia. 75 00:04:17,640 --> 00:04:18,690 Neither can I. 76 00:04:18,779 --> 00:04:21,019 Fancy coming up with a scheme like that. 77 00:04:21,020 --> 00:04:22,599 Well, I agree with you, Jean. 78 00:04:22,600 --> 00:04:24,980 Fancy expecting to get away with it. 79 00:04:25,340 --> 00:04:29,420 Are you listening to this, eh? This is my sister talking sex, this is. 80 00:04:29,820 --> 00:04:30,870 Go on. 81 00:04:30,920 --> 00:04:33,030 Gone fancy, expecting to get away with it. 82 00:04:33,420 --> 00:04:34,470 But she has. 83 00:04:34,940 --> 00:04:38,250 Unless you fancy ending up in hospital with all your bones broken. 84 00:04:38,251 --> 00:04:40,219 Is that it? 85 00:04:40,220 --> 00:04:41,420 Yeah, by and large, yeah. 86 00:04:41,680 --> 00:04:43,480 Oh, you're a fat lot, how good you are. 87 00:04:43,680 --> 00:04:45,360 Anyone seen a little yellow door? 88 00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:51,039 You should go and live in Legoland, you should. And take her with you. Don't 89 00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:53,399 turn on us just because you're up to your neck in it. 90 00:04:53,400 --> 00:04:55,779 Well, I could expect at least a little bit of sympathy. 91 00:04:55,780 --> 00:04:56,779 No, you couldn't. 92 00:04:56,780 --> 00:05:00,399 Don't get involved with a mafia, is what I said. They are not. Well, they might 93 00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:02,260 as well be, the size of those brothers. 94 00:05:02,460 --> 00:05:05,110 You just couldn't resist the challenge, could you? 95 00:05:05,620 --> 00:05:08,400 She was so protected by her family, Lucia. 96 00:05:08,840 --> 00:05:10,380 So hard to get at. 97 00:05:10,800 --> 00:05:14,360 And the harder she was to get at, the harder you tried to get at her. 98 00:05:14,640 --> 00:05:15,690 Well, you got her. 99 00:05:15,840 --> 00:05:16,890 And she's got you. 100 00:05:17,160 --> 00:05:18,960 And it serves you right, if you ask me. 101 00:05:19,980 --> 00:05:22,630 He's been heading for this since he was six years old. 102 00:05:24,380 --> 00:05:26,670 It's not an ounce of feeling left in you, Jean. 103 00:05:26,680 --> 00:05:32,140 Oh, I found the door. Oh, well, that solved everything, that has, hasn't it? 104 00:05:32,300 --> 00:05:35,160 That's made all my problems pile into insignificance. 105 00:05:35,840 --> 00:05:36,900 Oh, I'm going now. 106 00:05:39,560 --> 00:05:41,000 I think I'll have a bath. 107 00:05:41,560 --> 00:05:42,610 Yeah. 108 00:05:45,920 --> 00:05:49,890 Now, when you open the champagne, don't turn the place into a shooting gallery. 109 00:05:50,580 --> 00:05:51,640 Ease the cork out. 110 00:05:51,900 --> 00:05:56,750 I'm... how to open champagne, thank you. Well, I totally do. I just said I did. 111 00:05:58,170 --> 00:06:01,550 I do wish she'd be a bit kinder to Paulette, Leslie. 112 00:06:01,830 --> 00:06:03,790 She's a very sensitive girl. 113 00:06:04,090 --> 00:06:07,230 I'm the sensitive one here. Well, I'm the most sensitive. 114 00:06:07,231 --> 00:06:11,829 Look, all I'm trying to do is make sure that your customers get the proper 115 00:06:11,830 --> 00:06:12,880 service. 116 00:06:13,290 --> 00:06:14,930 Your important customer. 117 00:06:15,250 --> 00:06:16,630 He pulled in some more knobs. 118 00:06:18,240 --> 00:06:20,410 I do wish you wouldn't use that expression. 119 00:06:20,420 --> 00:06:21,660 They're croquet people. 120 00:06:22,140 --> 00:06:23,420 Croquet knobs, eh? 121 00:06:26,020 --> 00:06:30,959 I've, uh, I've come down very heavily on her about that, Paulette. Thank you, 122 00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:32,010 Rocky. 123 00:06:32,260 --> 00:06:35,060 It affects my breathing when you call me Rocky. 124 00:06:35,460 --> 00:06:36,720 Does it, Rocky? 125 00:06:37,180 --> 00:06:39,080 I'll take you to shopping tomorrow. 126 00:06:39,520 --> 00:06:41,300 Oh, no, this has got to stop. 127 00:06:41,760 --> 00:06:43,900 You keep buying me things. 128 00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:45,370 I'm loaded. 129 00:06:45,480 --> 00:06:46,530 I know. 130 00:06:47,310 --> 00:06:51,169 Someone who didn't know what I'm beginning to feel for you could simply 131 00:06:51,170 --> 00:06:54,550 down as a gold digger. I'd kill whoever said that. 132 00:06:55,890 --> 00:06:57,690 He's not in here, is he? 133 00:06:58,330 --> 00:06:59,830 No, people. 134 00:07:00,870 --> 00:07:03,930 What are you beginning to feel for me, Paulette? 135 00:07:05,890 --> 00:07:06,940 Sensation. 136 00:07:07,130 --> 00:07:09,530 Blimey, I'm taking you shopping. That's it. 137 00:07:09,910 --> 00:07:11,670 I don't need a fur coat. 138 00:07:12,190 --> 00:07:13,240 Have you got one? 139 00:07:13,410 --> 00:07:15,410 No. Well, you're having one. 140 00:07:16,360 --> 00:07:17,410 Yes, Rocky. 141 00:07:19,320 --> 00:07:21,740 You want to cheer up a bit, Jacko. 142 00:07:22,320 --> 00:07:27,039 Why? Because people looking through the window and seeing your miserable mush 143 00:07:27,040 --> 00:07:29,090 will think you're not having a good time. 144 00:07:29,091 --> 00:07:30,459 I'm not. 145 00:07:30,460 --> 00:07:35,159 Well, I know that, but it's nothing I've done, is it? I mean, couldn't you feel 146 00:07:35,160 --> 00:07:37,240 rotten and still smile out the window? 147 00:07:37,820 --> 00:07:41,379 What, seeing crying on the inside, laughing on the outside at the same 148 00:07:41,380 --> 00:07:42,520 mean? Yeah, if you like. 149 00:07:44,400 --> 00:07:46,380 You haven't thought of anything, then? 150 00:07:46,580 --> 00:07:48,260 I've thought of strangling Lucia. 151 00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:50,440 Just a minute, just a minute! 152 00:07:50,740 --> 00:07:52,970 Here, you're not constipated, are you? No! 153 00:07:53,060 --> 00:07:54,400 Now I'm getting an idea! 154 00:07:55,060 --> 00:07:56,110 Oh, dear, are you? 155 00:07:56,600 --> 00:07:58,830 Something's happened to my brain recently. 156 00:07:59,640 --> 00:08:03,120 Perhaps it's not having to worry about the brewery all the time. 157 00:08:03,440 --> 00:08:07,120 Do you know, I've got ideas just queuing up to get out of my mouth. 158 00:08:07,740 --> 00:08:12,619 All right, Elmo, come on, let's have it. You get Mr Morella round here for a 159 00:08:12,620 --> 00:08:13,840 drink, right? Right. 160 00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:18,580 Then all of a sudden, the door opens and in walks 20 kids. 161 00:08:19,420 --> 00:08:20,470 20 kids? 162 00:08:20,720 --> 00:08:24,260 And they all come up to you and they say, Good night, Daddy. 163 00:08:24,480 --> 00:08:25,530 Good night, Daddy. 164 00:08:25,660 --> 00:08:28,700 Good night, Daddy. Good night, Daddy. Elmo, Elmo, Elmo. 165 00:08:29,140 --> 00:08:31,080 You don't have to say it 20 times. 166 00:08:31,840 --> 00:08:33,320 Well, it's 20 kids. 167 00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:38,600 Yes, I know. Look, we'll take the good night daddies as read, right? Now, why? 168 00:08:39,059 --> 00:08:41,159 Because Mr Morella says... 169 00:08:41,419 --> 00:08:43,539 Cranber, what's all this? What? 170 00:08:44,460 --> 00:08:45,980 Cranber, what's all this? 171 00:08:46,480 --> 00:08:51,320 And you say, oh, didn't I tell you? I've got 20 pence. 172 00:08:51,880 --> 00:08:52,930 I'm not old enough. 173 00:08:54,560 --> 00:08:56,800 Six sets of quads, that's 20. 174 00:08:57,380 --> 00:09:01,240 No, no, no, but go on, go on. Sorry, 18. 175 00:09:01,920 --> 00:09:08,839 Anyway, young chap it is, Mr Mirella is so disgusted, he won't let you marry his 176 00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:09,890 daughter. 177 00:09:10,380 --> 00:09:15,579 Mr Morella doesn't wonder why my 20 kids walk all the way round to your wine bar 178 00:09:15,580 --> 00:09:16,680 to say goodnight to me. 179 00:09:17,680 --> 00:09:20,660 Easy peasy, lemon squeezy. 180 00:09:21,700 --> 00:09:25,380 Bill Reddy here. He's staying the night with your Uncle Elmo. 181 00:09:25,720 --> 00:09:28,900 We've decked him out in little pyjamas and teddy bears. 182 00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:32,440 I don't know what to say, Elmo. 183 00:09:32,700 --> 00:09:36,360 Well, you think about it, mate. It's a bloody brilliant idea. 184 00:09:37,120 --> 00:09:39,880 Look, Elmo, in the first place, Mr Morella's not... 185 00:09:41,420 --> 00:09:42,600 I love you, Elmo. 186 00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:48,080 You all right, Rocky? 187 00:09:48,360 --> 00:09:51,700 Yeah, I'm trying to think how you get 20 kids. 188 00:09:58,760 --> 00:10:00,480 Look who's here, eh? 189 00:10:01,500 --> 00:10:03,120 Jacko, our boy. 190 00:10:03,380 --> 00:10:04,780 Yes. Our son. 191 00:10:05,640 --> 00:10:09,560 Lucia is upstairs doing the VAT for the business. 192 00:10:09,561 --> 00:10:14,069 I will call her. Well, actually, it's you I wanted to have a word with. 193 00:10:14,070 --> 00:10:15,790 What can my mother tell you? 194 00:10:16,050 --> 00:10:20,810 Well, it's Mr Morella, more precisely, and it's of a rather delicate nature. 195 00:10:21,410 --> 00:10:25,430 That's the trouble with this house. There's nowhere where the men can be 196 00:10:26,250 --> 00:10:29,050 I will go up and see if Grandma wants anything. 197 00:10:29,550 --> 00:10:30,830 She's not ill, is she? No. 198 00:10:31,450 --> 00:10:33,370 She's watching American football. 199 00:10:38,080 --> 00:10:39,920 She's a big Washington Redskins fan. 200 00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:44,440 Oh, she's... Incenti and Salvatore aren't in, are they? 201 00:10:44,700 --> 00:10:46,780 No, they're at bodybuilding classes. 202 00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:48,130 Oh, good. 203 00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:50,050 So, Jocko, sit down. 204 00:10:50,260 --> 00:10:51,760 Right, thanks. A glass of wine? 205 00:10:51,820 --> 00:10:53,810 Not for me, Mr Morello, no thank you, no. 206 00:10:55,160 --> 00:10:56,210 You're not yourself. 207 00:10:56,680 --> 00:10:58,220 You sound very serious. 208 00:10:58,221 --> 00:11:02,239 Well, I am serious, Mr Morello. I've got something to tell you, and when I've 209 00:11:02,240 --> 00:11:05,960 told you, I'm afraid, well, you might not want me as a son -in -law anymore. 210 00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:07,950 Oh, dear. 211 00:11:08,660 --> 00:11:09,880 I have a past, you see. 212 00:11:10,900 --> 00:11:15,420 And not to put too fine a point on it, I've known quite a few women. 213 00:11:17,460 --> 00:11:18,510 Yes. 214 00:11:19,620 --> 00:11:22,619 Well, when I say known, I mean... 215 00:11:22,620 --> 00:11:27,520 Yes. 216 00:11:28,720 --> 00:11:31,820 Well, when I say quite a few, I mean quite a lot, really. 217 00:11:33,020 --> 00:11:34,070 Hundreds. 218 00:11:35,560 --> 00:11:38,230 No. Why are you telling me this? 219 00:11:38,231 --> 00:11:41,669 Well, doesn't it throw a different light on things? I mean, me being your son 220 00:11:41,670 --> 00:11:42,609 -in -law. 221 00:11:42,610 --> 00:11:43,710 Listen, my son. 222 00:11:44,670 --> 00:11:46,650 Now I am going to tell you something. 223 00:11:49,470 --> 00:11:53,649 In my young days in Sicily, I was known as... 224 00:11:53,650 --> 00:11:57,350 What's that, then? 225 00:11:58,110 --> 00:11:59,310 The postman. 226 00:12:01,310 --> 00:12:02,510 You understand me? 227 00:12:03,150 --> 00:12:05,090 I knocked on many doors. 228 00:12:05,390 --> 00:12:06,440 Yeah, 229 00:12:07,890 --> 00:12:11,230 but as Lucia's father, doesn't it make you disapprove of me? 230 00:12:11,590 --> 00:12:13,030 I'm proud of you! 231 00:12:14,910 --> 00:12:20,710 What do you think I want for my daughter? 232 00:12:22,870 --> 00:12:26,110 Some innocent who knows nothing about women? 233 00:12:32,200 --> 00:12:33,340 Good night, Mr. Morella. 234 00:12:33,560 --> 00:12:36,060 Good night, my young postman. 235 00:12:40,100 --> 00:12:41,980 I was listening. 236 00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:45,820 Oh. You little rascal! 237 00:12:53,080 --> 00:12:57,120 Would you like some more coffee? No, thanks, Leslie. 238 00:13:01,550 --> 00:13:03,660 The cures of any sort? No, thanks, Leslie. 239 00:13:07,070 --> 00:13:08,690 Will you be in tonight, Mummy? No. 240 00:13:10,270 --> 00:13:12,560 I'll take you to your mum at the Covent Garden. 241 00:13:12,650 --> 00:13:13,700 I see. 242 00:13:13,930 --> 00:13:14,980 I'll get the bill. 243 00:13:14,981 --> 00:13:18,769 Your daughter doesn't approve of me, does she? 244 00:13:18,770 --> 00:13:19,820 I do. 245 00:13:21,010 --> 00:13:22,110 I must get back to work. 246 00:13:22,111 --> 00:13:26,049 Shall I walk you back to the office? No, thanks. I'll stroll back later. 247 00:13:26,050 --> 00:13:27,249 See you tonight, then, eh? 248 00:13:27,250 --> 00:13:28,300 Ciao, Veronica. 249 00:13:28,690 --> 00:13:29,740 Thank you for lunch. 250 00:13:30,540 --> 00:13:31,590 Joe Marcello. 251 00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:39,160 I see he's left you to pay the bill. 252 00:13:39,520 --> 00:13:41,080 He'd never do for you, would he? 253 00:13:41,120 --> 00:13:43,410 I've never been so embarrassed in all my life. 254 00:13:43,560 --> 00:13:46,040 The two of you pawing each other all lunchtime. 255 00:13:46,300 --> 00:13:48,830 We held hands over coffee and he kissed me goodbye. 256 00:13:49,260 --> 00:13:51,280 Well, you shouldn't. At my age? Yes. 257 00:13:51,720 --> 00:13:53,340 I'm afraid it gets worse, Leslie. 258 00:13:53,840 --> 00:13:56,130 Marcello and I are going on holiday together. 259 00:13:56,360 --> 00:13:57,410 Holiday? 260 00:14:00,490 --> 00:14:04,390 Can? Well, you won't expect me to believe you're taking single rooms, will 261 00:14:04,391 --> 00:14:05,349 Don't be silly. 262 00:14:05,350 --> 00:14:06,400 Of course not. 263 00:14:06,450 --> 00:14:08,170 But you're my mother. 264 00:14:08,510 --> 00:14:09,970 Be happy for me, then. 265 00:14:10,370 --> 00:14:13,750 Well, how can I be? It's absurd, a woman of your age. 266 00:14:14,270 --> 00:14:16,250 You'll make a complete fool of yourself. 267 00:14:16,251 --> 00:14:17,949 This could end in grief, you know. 268 00:14:17,950 --> 00:14:19,000 Anything else? 269 00:14:19,150 --> 00:14:20,890 Yes. What about me? 270 00:14:21,310 --> 00:14:24,440 Everybody knowing that my mother's gone off with some gigolo. 271 00:14:24,830 --> 00:14:26,570 All you're thinking of is yourself. 272 00:14:28,011 --> 00:14:35,339 I've done for what seems like the last century is look after other people. Your 273 00:14:35,340 --> 00:14:36,390 father, you. 274 00:14:36,680 --> 00:14:38,620 Well, now I'm going to look after me. 275 00:14:39,140 --> 00:14:40,920 I'm not ready to vegetate, Leslie. 276 00:14:41,220 --> 00:14:45,859 When I enter my dotage, I want to do it with a smile on my face because I'll 277 00:14:45,860 --> 00:14:47,360 finally have done some living. 278 00:14:48,660 --> 00:14:50,340 I haven't left a tip, by the way. 279 00:14:58,020 --> 00:14:59,300 And where have you been? 280 00:14:59,760 --> 00:15:01,000 Rocky took me shopping. 281 00:15:02,480 --> 00:15:03,530 Rocky. 282 00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:05,320 Does she look lovely? 283 00:15:05,720 --> 00:15:09,980 It's not real fur, of course, cos Paulette is a very big naturist. 284 00:15:10,260 --> 00:15:13,180 Yes, but Paulette can't get changed and give me a hand. 285 00:15:13,181 --> 00:15:14,379 Er, no. 286 00:15:14,380 --> 00:15:15,640 I beg your pardon? 287 00:15:15,920 --> 00:15:17,880 Paulette is never going to work again. 288 00:15:18,180 --> 00:15:19,360 I'll get you a new girl. 289 00:15:19,361 --> 00:15:21,139 And what's wrong with Paulette? 290 00:15:21,140 --> 00:15:25,579 I've just discovered that she was a very sickly child and she could get a 291 00:15:25,580 --> 00:15:27,840 reaction if she keeps humping things about. 292 00:15:28,260 --> 00:15:30,860 I don't know how it came out, really. 293 00:15:31,061 --> 00:15:35,769 There's a table over there that hasn't been cleared. 294 00:15:35,770 --> 00:15:36,820 Go on. 295 00:15:39,130 --> 00:15:40,180 I don't know. 296 00:15:40,550 --> 00:15:45,130 Jackal skated on thin ice before, but this time he's really gone through it. 297 00:15:45,410 --> 00:15:49,170 And waiting below the murky waters is a killer whale called Lucia. 298 00:15:50,030 --> 00:15:52,140 Went and saw her dead last night, you know. 299 00:15:52,190 --> 00:15:53,240 Why? What for? 300 00:15:53,710 --> 00:15:57,829 Well, Jackal thought if he could blacken his own character, he might get away 301 00:15:57,830 --> 00:16:00,829 with just getting slung out of the house and told never to return. 302 00:16:00,830 --> 00:16:03,850 You know, the multitude of women he's had dalliance with. 303 00:16:04,410 --> 00:16:07,130 Results? Mr Morella likes them even more. 304 00:16:07,131 --> 00:16:08,369 How do you know? 305 00:16:08,370 --> 00:16:12,149 Because the day has not yet arrived when a man can blacken his character by 306 00:16:12,150 --> 00:16:14,440 telling another man of all the women he's had. 307 00:16:15,050 --> 00:16:16,410 I'd never boast about that. 308 00:16:17,330 --> 00:16:18,650 You wouldn't, could you? 309 00:16:19,430 --> 00:16:21,170 You've only ever been out with Jean. 310 00:16:21,590 --> 00:16:23,210 You don't know that, Sandra. 311 00:16:23,211 --> 00:16:24,109 I do. 312 00:16:24,110 --> 00:16:25,160 Jean told me. 313 00:16:26,281 --> 00:16:28,369 Do you want to drink? 314 00:16:28,370 --> 00:16:29,420 Yeah. 315 00:16:29,891 --> 00:16:32,089 Another word, Veronica? 316 00:16:32,090 --> 00:16:33,140 Yeah, of course. 317 00:16:33,141 --> 00:16:39,129 I expect you've heard about this little scrape I'm in at the moment. I've heard 318 00:16:39,130 --> 00:16:40,750 about this huge scrape you're in. 319 00:16:41,290 --> 00:16:44,950 Well, it is serious. Either I marry Lucia or I get murdered. 320 00:16:46,090 --> 00:16:47,890 Please, Veronica, you could help me. 321 00:16:48,190 --> 00:16:49,550 If it's legal, I'll do it. 322 00:16:49,810 --> 00:16:54,149 Well, what I was wondering was whether you could ask Marcello to intercede on 323 00:16:54,150 --> 00:16:55,200 behalf. 324 00:16:55,470 --> 00:16:56,710 I know it's asking a lot. 325 00:16:57,210 --> 00:16:58,810 It's not asking a lot, Jacko. 326 00:16:59,010 --> 00:17:00,060 Oh, good. 327 00:17:00,300 --> 00:17:01,920 It's asking altogether too much. 328 00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:06,999 I see. Something like that could cause lines to be drawn in that family, and I 329 00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:09,290 might not find myself on the wrong side of one. 330 00:17:09,319 --> 00:17:11,429 I'm not prepared to risk losing Marcello. 331 00:17:11,660 --> 00:17:13,100 We're having a very nice time. 332 00:17:14,140 --> 00:17:15,190 I see. 333 00:17:15,339 --> 00:17:16,389 Call me selfish. 334 00:17:16,500 --> 00:17:18,300 No, no, no, no, you're entitled to be. 335 00:17:18,480 --> 00:17:20,700 Well, you know what this means, don't you? 336 00:17:21,220 --> 00:17:22,600 I could end up as your nephew. 337 00:17:23,880 --> 00:17:25,859 If there's anything else I could do. 338 00:17:26,569 --> 00:17:29,219 Well, you could take me paddling on Sunday mornings. 339 00:17:30,230 --> 00:17:34,250 They'd still get you. Don't be daft. Of course they wouldn't. Get who? 340 00:17:34,450 --> 00:17:37,830 You. Who? The International Brotherhood of Morellas. 341 00:17:38,130 --> 00:17:39,270 They've already got me. 342 00:17:39,271 --> 00:17:42,369 Well, they wouldn't if you weren't even in the country, Jacko. 343 00:17:42,370 --> 00:17:43,590 What? The answer. 344 00:17:43,890 --> 00:17:44,940 It's so simple. 345 00:17:45,170 --> 00:17:47,820 If you're not around, they can't do anything for you. 346 00:17:47,821 --> 00:17:49,609 What, emigrate, you mean? 347 00:17:49,610 --> 00:17:50,750 Well, not permanently. 348 00:17:51,210 --> 00:17:54,760 Without you, the whole thing will blow over in a year. Less, I don't know. 349 00:17:55,110 --> 00:17:57,700 Lucia might get her hooks into some other poor soul. 350 00:17:57,701 --> 00:18:01,529 Here is the thought, isn't it? They'd find you wherever you went. 351 00:18:01,530 --> 00:18:04,030 You've got no ties. The world is your oyster. 352 00:18:04,370 --> 00:18:07,710 I've always had a yent to visit Tahiti. I wonder why. 353 00:18:08,650 --> 00:18:10,930 Culture. Ah, they'd have someone there. 354 00:18:11,270 --> 00:18:15,469 It'd be this insignificant -looking bloke behind the counter in the Gauguin 355 00:18:15,470 --> 00:18:18,570 shop. Then, one phone call from London. 356 00:18:19,030 --> 00:18:22,100 I shan't be telling the Morellas I'm going to Tahiti, stupid. 357 00:18:22,470 --> 00:18:23,520 Nevertheless... 358 00:18:23,521 --> 00:18:25,689 Now, I think you've cracked it, Sandra. 359 00:18:25,690 --> 00:18:27,430 Out, away, problem solved. 360 00:18:27,970 --> 00:18:31,590 No more Big Brother is watching you. No more granite sandwiches. 361 00:18:32,670 --> 00:18:33,720 Thanks, Sandra. 362 00:18:34,790 --> 00:18:37,080 That's what you call a better friend, that is. 363 00:18:41,970 --> 00:18:44,950 Get in the lager, Lizzie. Ultimately, I will. I'm very busy. 364 00:18:46,290 --> 00:18:47,340 Gorge your ear. 365 00:18:47,450 --> 00:18:50,050 I'd have looked a right fool if you hadn't turned up. 366 00:18:50,410 --> 00:18:52,090 Well, you had a bet with someone. No. 367 00:18:52,600 --> 00:18:54,710 I've got something to show you, Paulette. 368 00:18:58,060 --> 00:18:59,300 Come on, in you come. 369 00:19:06,960 --> 00:19:08,780 Why? Well, a plan. 370 00:19:09,160 --> 00:19:12,050 I mean, they've got to know who the right bloke is, right? 371 00:19:12,120 --> 00:19:13,170 Ready? 372 00:19:13,440 --> 00:19:14,680 One, two... 373 00:19:19,691 --> 00:19:22,229 You're beyond belief, Elmo. 374 00:19:22,230 --> 00:19:23,109 Oh, no. 375 00:19:23,110 --> 00:19:25,310 Where did you get them all from? All over. 376 00:19:25,570 --> 00:19:26,620 Wasn't easy. 377 00:19:26,790 --> 00:19:29,570 All the mothers held out for ten quid a kid. 378 00:19:29,830 --> 00:19:32,690 That's them stuffing themselves silly in my kitchen. 379 00:19:33,590 --> 00:19:34,670 Oh, dear. 380 00:19:34,950 --> 00:19:37,250 Well, the plan's off, Elmo. 381 00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:39,610 Well, you might have told me. 382 00:19:40,370 --> 00:19:41,420 You're sorry. 383 00:19:42,570 --> 00:19:44,410 Get them out of here, Paulette. 384 00:19:44,730 --> 00:19:46,350 Oh, I am sorry, Elmo. 385 00:19:46,670 --> 00:19:49,590 Twenty teddy bears are bought specially. 386 00:19:50,960 --> 00:19:52,960 20 teddy bears are bought? 387 00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:59,239 You don't want 20 teddy bears, do you, Paulette? Oh, no, thank you. I've 388 00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:00,800 got a very special one. 389 00:20:01,140 --> 00:20:02,540 Oh, I see. 390 00:20:02,760 --> 00:20:05,500 Yeah, it's the only teddy bear I need. 391 00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:08,360 It's big and soft and cuddly. 392 00:20:09,040 --> 00:20:10,090 What's his name? 393 00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:13,180 Elmo Rocky Putney. 394 00:20:20,880 --> 00:20:22,500 I was snappy. I'm fed up. 395 00:20:22,780 --> 00:20:25,190 You spend most of your life being fed up, Leslie. 396 00:20:25,420 --> 00:20:29,440 Yeah, well, why does Elmo want those children to say goodnight, Daddy? 397 00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:31,420 Oh, it's a long story. 398 00:20:31,720 --> 00:20:33,580 One of Elmo's more florid plans. 399 00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:35,800 He's trying to help me out with Lucia. 400 00:20:35,801 --> 00:20:37,579 Oh, you've heard about that, I assume. 401 00:20:37,580 --> 00:20:38,439 Oh, yes. 402 00:20:38,440 --> 00:20:40,000 You've really done it this time. 403 00:20:40,001 --> 00:20:42,039 No, I haven't. No, I've found the solution. 404 00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:45,540 I'm going to take off into the wild blue yonder until the dust settles. 405 00:20:45,820 --> 00:20:46,940 Oh? Where? 406 00:20:47,300 --> 00:20:48,380 Well, I don't know yet. 407 00:20:48,381 --> 00:20:51,249 There's a lot of the world I haven't seen, but the main thing is I'll be 408 00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:52,510 all my problems behind me. 409 00:20:53,470 --> 00:20:54,830 Elmo, I'm taking a break. 410 00:20:55,610 --> 00:20:56,830 Who said you could? 411 00:20:57,170 --> 00:20:58,220 I did. 412 00:20:58,370 --> 00:21:00,070 All right, I'll confirm that. 413 00:21:03,610 --> 00:21:05,660 What are you looking at me like that for? 414 00:21:05,870 --> 00:21:06,920 Take me with you. 415 00:21:07,150 --> 00:21:10,570 What? Well, I've got some problems I'd like to leave behind as well. 416 00:21:11,070 --> 00:21:12,570 I'm certainly not wanted here. 417 00:21:12,930 --> 00:21:15,550 That is a duff idea, Leslie, and you know it. 418 00:21:15,770 --> 00:21:16,910 Well, not necessarily. 419 00:21:17,150 --> 00:21:18,350 We like chalk and cheese. 420 00:21:18,710 --> 00:21:21,300 There have been times when we've been egg and bacon. 421 00:21:21,770 --> 00:21:25,329 Well, I'm not denying that we haven't had the occasional fry -up and 422 00:21:25,330 --> 00:21:26,209 enjoyed it. 423 00:21:26,210 --> 00:21:29,090 But most of the time, Leslie, we are a disaster area. 424 00:21:29,410 --> 00:21:30,770 And I think I know why. 425 00:21:31,470 --> 00:21:34,270 We've always had pressures from people around us here. 426 00:21:34,710 --> 00:21:36,830 Out there, it would be new and fresh. 427 00:21:37,330 --> 00:21:38,380 And hard. 428 00:21:38,570 --> 00:21:40,930 There won't be Concord and Five Star Hotels. 429 00:21:41,350 --> 00:21:43,580 There won't be hot and cold running waiters. 430 00:21:44,740 --> 00:21:48,140 Insects won't go away just because you go... I know. 431 00:21:48,141 --> 00:21:52,539 Jacko, you once told me there was a knife for Leslie inside me trying to get 432 00:21:52,540 --> 00:21:53,559 out. 433 00:21:53,560 --> 00:21:55,060 Couldn't we give her a chance? 434 00:21:57,120 --> 00:21:58,170 You're tempted. 435 00:21:58,900 --> 00:21:59,950 Only to a degree. 436 00:22:00,380 --> 00:22:01,430 What degree? 437 00:22:01,980 --> 00:22:04,200 About 30%. How much? 438 00:22:04,700 --> 00:22:05,820 80, 90%. 439 00:22:08,101 --> 00:22:15,589 Look, Veronica, about this job... Oh, yes, Jacko, it'll always be here for you 440 00:22:15,590 --> 00:22:17,569 when you get back. That's the least I can do. 441 00:22:17,570 --> 00:22:19,949 Well, if no need, I've changed my mind. I'm not going. 442 00:22:19,950 --> 00:22:22,120 What? Well, what are you going to do, then? 443 00:22:22,570 --> 00:22:23,810 Oh, blimey, Leslie. 444 00:22:24,310 --> 00:22:25,870 What's Leslie got to do with it? 445 00:22:25,871 --> 00:22:27,869 Well, she was going to come with me, wasn't she? 446 00:22:27,870 --> 00:22:28,920 You fool! 447 00:22:29,030 --> 00:22:31,800 When are you going to realise Leslie's no good for you? 448 00:22:34,370 --> 00:22:36,570 I'm sorry, Mrs Bean, but she's not. 449 00:22:36,990 --> 00:22:38,040 I know that. 450 00:22:39,010 --> 00:22:40,060 Funny, though. 451 00:22:40,110 --> 00:22:41,160 What is? 452 00:22:41,161 --> 00:22:44,959 For someone who's engaged with somebody else, you seem to be terribly possessive 453 00:22:44,960 --> 00:22:46,340 about what's best for Jacko. 454 00:22:47,060 --> 00:22:48,110 I don't. 455 00:22:54,280 --> 00:22:59,800 Hold up, Leslie. 456 00:23:00,040 --> 00:23:01,100 Hello, Jacko. Hello. 457 00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:04,560 Look, this going off into the wide blue yonder. 458 00:23:05,520 --> 00:23:06,570 It's off. 459 00:23:06,660 --> 00:23:09,130 Oh, that's all right. I couldn't have gone anyway. 460 00:23:09,520 --> 00:23:10,570 Why? 461 00:23:10,730 --> 00:23:11,780 I met Hugo. 462 00:23:16,070 --> 00:23:22,810 Have a word with your brother, Jean. 463 00:23:23,170 --> 00:23:24,910 He's gone completely round a twist. 464 00:23:25,310 --> 00:23:26,450 What have you done now? 465 00:23:26,770 --> 00:23:27,820 I've changed me mind. 466 00:23:28,010 --> 00:23:29,060 He's not going. 467 00:23:29,310 --> 00:23:34,389 Oh, for goodness sake, Jacko. That's easily the best idea that anybody's come 468 00:23:34,390 --> 00:23:35,890 with. That is maybe, Jean. 469 00:23:36,400 --> 00:23:39,939 But if I decide to go to Tahiti or anywhere else in the world, I will go 470 00:23:39,940 --> 00:23:42,420 I want to go, not because I'm being driven out. 471 00:23:42,421 --> 00:23:43,819 I see. 472 00:23:43,820 --> 00:23:45,200 So what's the alternative? 473 00:23:45,640 --> 00:23:48,140 Send the entire Morella family to Tahiti? 474 00:23:48,540 --> 00:23:52,219 No. No, I shall go round to Mr Morella and I shall tell him that his daughter 475 00:23:52,220 --> 00:23:53,579 tricked me into the engagement. 476 00:23:53,580 --> 00:23:57,120 And if she says otherwise, she is a liar. Oh, my God. 477 00:23:58,420 --> 00:24:00,410 I should have done it in the first place. 478 00:24:00,411 --> 00:24:04,019 You'd still be in hospital if that's what you'd done in the first place. 479 00:24:04,020 --> 00:24:05,340 Might not come to violence. 480 00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:07,520 They've even got the headstones, Andy. 481 00:24:08,360 --> 00:24:09,600 I could wish that. 482 00:24:10,020 --> 00:24:13,680 Look, Jacko, why don't you have some tea and think about it? 483 00:24:13,960 --> 00:24:19,599 No, no. I'd better go now before me bottle goes again. Look, Jacko, I am 484 00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:20,379 best mate. 485 00:24:20,380 --> 00:24:21,520 Well, I know that, Eric. 486 00:24:21,600 --> 00:24:24,420 If it wasn't for Jean, I'd go with you. 487 00:24:26,720 --> 00:24:28,020 I think you should. 488 00:24:28,640 --> 00:24:29,690 What? 489 00:24:29,691 --> 00:24:34,349 No, no, there's no need, Eric. If I turn up with someone else, well, it might be 490 00:24:34,350 --> 00:24:37,900 mistaken as being provocative. Yeah, yeah, there is that. There is that. 491 00:24:38,070 --> 00:24:41,310 Right. Once more unto the breach, dear friends. 492 00:24:42,070 --> 00:24:43,120 Once more. 493 00:24:43,121 --> 00:24:45,829 You know what the next line is, don't you? 494 00:24:45,830 --> 00:24:49,030 What? Or fill the wall up with our English dead. 495 00:24:55,450 --> 00:24:56,500 Hello, Jacko. 496 00:24:56,501 --> 00:24:58,449 Hello, Chaps. 497 00:24:58,450 --> 00:24:59,949 We've just been bodybuilding. 498 00:24:59,950 --> 00:25:00,789 Have you really? 499 00:25:00,790 --> 00:25:03,890 You should try it. Yeah. Come on. We're all going together. 500 00:25:09,190 --> 00:25:11,870 You realise what you said to me? 501 00:25:12,670 --> 00:25:13,720 Oh, yes. 502 00:25:14,330 --> 00:25:18,170 You realise what an insult to my family it is if you are lying? 503 00:25:19,470 --> 00:25:21,270 Each and every one of you, Mr Morella. 504 00:25:22,630 --> 00:25:25,090 You realise we would be furious? 505 00:25:25,850 --> 00:25:28,200 Well, that is an understatement, if anything. 506 00:25:32,440 --> 00:25:33,490 Lucia? 507 00:25:33,900 --> 00:25:34,950 Si, Papa. 508 00:25:36,500 --> 00:25:37,550 Stand there. 509 00:25:38,860 --> 00:25:39,910 Si, Papa. 510 00:25:44,860 --> 00:25:47,040 Now, answer me truthfully. 511 00:25:48,580 --> 00:25:52,160 Did you trick this man into proposing marriage? 512 00:25:52,820 --> 00:25:53,920 No, I didn't. 513 00:25:53,921 --> 00:26:00,119 You might as well tell the truth, Lucia, because I'm not going to marry you, 514 00:26:00,120 --> 00:26:01,170 whatever happens. 515 00:26:04,460 --> 00:26:05,540 Right, I did trick him. 516 00:26:06,600 --> 00:26:07,650 What did you say? 517 00:26:09,840 --> 00:26:10,980 I tricked him. 518 00:26:14,020 --> 00:26:15,070 Lucia. 519 00:26:16,620 --> 00:26:17,670 Why? 520 00:26:19,120 --> 00:26:20,170 Oh, Papa. 521 00:26:37,450 --> 00:26:38,890 I'll tell you why, Mr Morella. 522 00:26:40,270 --> 00:26:45,529 You're very nice people, all of you, very nice people, but you're living in 523 00:26:45,530 --> 00:26:46,580 time warp. 524 00:26:47,790 --> 00:26:52,130 You come here to start a new life, but you bring all your old ways with you. 525 00:26:52,670 --> 00:26:55,470 Lucia, she's a modern young woman. 526 00:26:56,590 --> 00:27:00,080 You can't expect a change every time she comes through the front door. 527 00:27:00,081 --> 00:27:04,629 You can't lock her away from her social life, because if you do, well, she'll 528 00:27:04,630 --> 00:27:07,580 try something even more stupid than what she tried with me. 529 00:27:08,270 --> 00:27:09,320 Just to get out. 530 00:27:14,190 --> 00:27:15,240 Jocko? 531 00:27:19,810 --> 00:27:22,610 What do you say we have a glass of wine? 532 00:27:29,330 --> 00:27:35,579 No. I can't say I entirely agree with you about the old values, but maybe 533 00:27:35,580 --> 00:27:37,260 given me something to think about. 534 00:27:39,360 --> 00:27:43,820 Either way, it was brave of you to say it. Well, it could have been suicidal. 535 00:27:46,620 --> 00:27:50,580 I like you, Jaco. I'm sorry you're not going to be my son. 536 00:27:51,120 --> 00:27:54,320 Ah, you're the first parent who's ever said that to me. 537 00:27:58,670 --> 00:28:01,130 Most of them never catch you, eh? 538 00:28:04,930 --> 00:28:07,570 Did you make love to Lucia? 539 00:28:09,670 --> 00:28:10,720 Mr. Morella. 540 00:28:11,950 --> 00:28:13,000 No. 541 00:28:13,470 --> 00:28:15,650 You tell me to be modern, I'm trying. 542 00:28:16,070 --> 00:28:17,570 Don't I deserve the truth? 543 00:28:18,130 --> 00:28:19,180 Yes, yes. 544 00:28:19,650 --> 00:28:24,270 Thank you. You're welcome. 545 00:28:29,710 --> 00:28:32,000 Now I will tell you something. What happened? 546 00:28:32,830 --> 00:28:34,210 I'm not modern yet. 547 00:28:35,650 --> 00:28:38,690 You are my son again. 548 00:29:01,360 --> 00:29:03,620 Be because of me. 549 00:29:04,760 --> 00:29:08,000 Be because of me. 550 00:29:08,050 --> 00:29:12,600 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 41640

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