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All thanks to you, these things I do,
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00:00:17,420 --> 00:00:21,880
because of you,
3
00:00:22,520 --> 00:00:26,080
because of you.
4
00:00:26,291 --> 00:00:28,039
I
5
00:00:28,040 --> 00:00:34,759
don't
6
00:00:34,760 --> 00:00:38,319
understand you, Lucia. When you're
indoors, you're like a shy violet. Get
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00:00:38,320 --> 00:00:40,430
outside and you're like a passion
flower.
8
00:00:40,510 --> 00:00:41,710
It's the Sicilian way.
9
00:00:42,490 --> 00:00:45,200
Well, there must be a lot of confused
Sicilian blokes.
10
00:00:46,030 --> 00:00:49,090
Oh, I can't tell you what a relief it is
to express myself.
11
00:00:49,750 --> 00:00:55,349
I mean, I love my family dearly, but
where men are concerned, they're... Not
12
00:00:55,350 --> 00:00:56,249
this century.
13
00:00:56,250 --> 00:00:57,300
Exactly.
14
00:00:57,610 --> 00:01:00,260
Well, I've enjoyed you expressing
yourself with me.
15
00:01:02,670 --> 00:01:06,729
Come on. I promised your dad I'd have
you in by ten o 'clock. And if I don't,
16
00:01:06,730 --> 00:01:08,230
won't let me take you out again.
17
00:01:08,430 --> 00:01:10,050
You mean you want to see me again?
18
00:01:10,051 --> 00:01:11,109
Oh, yeah.
19
00:01:11,110 --> 00:01:12,160
Yeah.
20
00:01:12,370 --> 00:01:13,420
Come on, Cinderella.
21
00:01:23,330 --> 00:01:24,810
Two seconds to go, Mr. Morella.
22
00:01:24,811 --> 00:01:26,069
I know.
23
00:01:26,070 --> 00:01:27,120
Good boy, Jacko.
24
00:01:28,690 --> 00:01:29,740
Lucia?
25
00:01:29,890 --> 00:01:30,940
Good night, Jacko.
26
00:01:31,370 --> 00:01:32,990
Thank you for a pleasant evening.
27
00:01:32,991 --> 00:01:33,829
Good night, Lucia.
28
00:01:33,830 --> 00:01:35,390
The page has been entirely mine.
29
00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:41,570
I'd like to take Lucia out again, if I
may, Mr. Morella.
30
00:01:42,480 --> 00:01:43,780
Yes, you may.
31
00:01:43,980 --> 00:01:45,120
I'll call ten next time.
32
00:01:46,020 --> 00:01:47,700
Ten o 'clock. Right. Good night.
33
00:01:48,060 --> 00:01:50,380
One moment.
34
00:01:51,800 --> 00:01:53,840
I have been thinking about my brother.
35
00:01:54,040 --> 00:01:55,840
Which one of the seven would that be?
36
00:01:56,000 --> 00:02:01,780
The third, Marcello. Oh, yeah. You know,
he'd been a widower for three years.
37
00:02:02,720 --> 00:02:07,020
I also have been thinking about your
lady boss, Mrs. Bainbridge.
38
00:02:08,110 --> 00:02:09,160
She is a widow.
39
00:02:09,250 --> 00:02:10,310
You little rascal.
40
00:02:10,850 --> 00:02:13,730
What is life but a man and a woman?
41
00:02:13,990 --> 00:02:15,040
My theory exactly.
42
00:02:16,370 --> 00:02:19,430
Maybe... Maybe you and I could become
two Cupid.
43
00:02:19,850 --> 00:02:22,590
Yes. Nice people should not be alone.
44
00:02:22,910 --> 00:02:26,160
Leave it to me, Mr. Morella. I'll get
some feathers on me new arrows.
45
00:02:27,410 --> 00:02:28,460
Buonanotte.
46
00:02:30,570 --> 00:02:31,620
Buonanotte.
47
00:02:39,500 --> 00:02:40,550
Hello, Gloria.
48
00:02:40,580 --> 00:02:41,630
Hello, Jacko.
49
00:02:41,631 --> 00:02:43,179
Been out?
50
00:02:43,180 --> 00:02:44,920
Yeah, she had to be in by ten o 'clock.
51
00:02:45,160 --> 00:02:46,210
Have a thought?
52
00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:48,850
Well, not really. I need me beauty sleep
these days.
53
00:02:49,020 --> 00:02:50,070
Don't we all?
54
00:02:50,700 --> 00:02:52,560
Good evening. Can I get you something?
55
00:02:52,920 --> 00:02:53,970
Gloria?
56
00:02:54,220 --> 00:02:55,640
No, thank you. I'm fine.
57
00:02:56,200 --> 00:02:57,700
Lager and a wine glass, please.
58
00:02:58,040 --> 00:02:59,260
Wine and wine glass?
59
00:02:59,620 --> 00:03:01,000
It's the governor's orders.
60
00:03:01,020 --> 00:03:02,070
Oh, him.
61
00:03:02,200 --> 00:03:04,490
You're new here, aren't you? Yeah,
Paulette.
62
00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:05,730
Died yesterday.
63
00:03:06,660 --> 00:03:08,220
It's robbing in here, isn't it?
64
00:03:11,470 --> 00:03:14,450
Waitressing is waitressing, wherever you
waitress.
65
00:03:15,070 --> 00:03:16,210
Yeah, quite, yeah.
66
00:03:16,850 --> 00:03:18,130
Lager in a wine glass.
67
00:03:18,450 --> 00:03:19,500
Yeah.
68
00:03:19,501 --> 00:03:22,489
So what are you doing here then, Gloria?
69
00:03:22,490 --> 00:03:23,870
Waiting to be picked up.
70
00:03:26,130 --> 00:03:28,630
Gloria. I have got a date.
71
00:03:29,150 --> 00:03:30,200
Oh, sorry.
72
00:03:30,810 --> 00:03:33,760
No chance of you and Reg getting back
together again then?
73
00:03:33,850 --> 00:03:35,490
Quite the contrary, actually.
74
00:03:35,730 --> 00:03:36,780
He's filed.
75
00:03:37,150 --> 00:03:38,200
Not for divorce?
76
00:03:38,790 --> 00:03:39,990
Well, it's not his nails.
77
00:03:42,250 --> 00:03:43,300
rounds of adultery.
78
00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:46,390
Well, you won't be contesting that, will
you?
79
00:03:47,390 --> 00:03:49,150
No, I can't really.
80
00:03:49,710 --> 00:03:52,330
Mind you, adultery's not the word I'd
use.
81
00:03:52,690 --> 00:03:54,310
What word would you use, Gloria?
82
00:03:55,750 --> 00:03:56,800
Friendship.
83
00:03:58,550 --> 00:04:04,170
I know he's your brother, but I still
maintain it's his fault.
84
00:04:04,430 --> 00:04:07,710
He went back on night, and I told him
not to.
85
00:04:08,090 --> 00:04:10,320
Is he still lobster fishing in
Ilfracombe?
86
00:04:10,370 --> 00:04:14,320
No. Evidently he's gone to Circe on a
geological expedition.
87
00:04:15,360 --> 00:04:17,400
Ridge doesn't know anything about rocks.
88
00:04:17,579 --> 00:04:18,959
No, he's doing the teas.
89
00:04:21,220 --> 00:04:23,720
Teas? Well, cook then.
90
00:04:24,500 --> 00:04:26,300
So who are you meeting tonight then?
91
00:04:27,020 --> 00:04:28,070
Imran Khan.
92
00:04:29,500 --> 00:04:31,520
Not the... No.
93
00:04:32,260 --> 00:04:33,310
Terry Bilston.
94
00:04:33,620 --> 00:04:34,960
I met him up the fair.
95
00:04:36,020 --> 00:04:38,040
He's a wizard at shooting corks.
96
00:04:43,530 --> 00:04:44,770
I had a teddy bear once.
97
00:04:45,130 --> 00:04:46,180
What do you call him?
98
00:04:46,430 --> 00:04:47,480
Marilyn.
99
00:04:48,330 --> 00:04:50,570
You don't have gold teddy bears.
100
00:04:50,930 --> 00:04:51,980
Oh, I did.
101
00:04:52,510 --> 00:04:55,410
So, er, what did he do, this Terry
Bilston?
102
00:04:56,110 --> 00:04:57,370
He's a dispatch rider.
103
00:04:57,910 --> 00:05:00,330
He's virtually inseparable from his
Kawasaki.
104
00:05:00,331 --> 00:05:04,229
What did you have to do? Did you have to
prize him off with a crowbar?
105
00:05:04,230 --> 00:05:05,280
Nice float.
106
00:05:05,750 --> 00:05:06,800
Oh, yes.
107
00:05:07,070 --> 00:05:08,120
Very nice.
108
00:05:08,570 --> 00:05:09,620
Really.
109
00:05:12,081 --> 00:05:13,949
We're the bike.
110
00:05:13,950 --> 00:05:15,210
Oh, Terry.
111
00:05:15,790 --> 00:05:18,140
I'd like you to meet my brother -in
-law, Jacko.
112
00:05:18,250 --> 00:05:21,670
Hello. There you go. Now, come on. We'll
miss the main battle.
113
00:05:22,230 --> 00:05:23,670
Where are you going, Gloria?
114
00:05:23,870 --> 00:05:24,920
Mud wrestling.
115
00:05:26,730 --> 00:05:28,490
Is he really the best you can do?
116
00:05:29,410 --> 00:05:30,460
No.
117
00:05:30,950 --> 00:05:32,970
Joss was the best I could ever really
do.
118
00:05:37,450 --> 00:05:38,500
Bye, Jacko.
119
00:05:55,370 --> 00:06:00,129
Oh, Dano, why do I always get people
like that? I mean, this place, I ought
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00:06:00,130 --> 00:06:01,730
be attracting the in crowd.
121
00:06:02,150 --> 00:06:03,450
That was the 60s.
122
00:06:04,090 --> 00:06:06,650
Well, what happened to them? They all
aged.
123
00:06:07,010 --> 00:06:08,250
Who's the new lot?
124
00:06:08,590 --> 00:06:12,260
I don't know. I suppose it's those
yuppies. You know, Sloane Rangers, that
125
00:06:12,430 --> 00:06:13,790
Where'd you get them from?
126
00:06:14,250 --> 00:06:16,360
Well, you don't buy them from a shop,
Elmo.
127
00:06:17,150 --> 00:06:21,030
What you... What you need in here is a
hook.
128
00:06:21,520 --> 00:06:22,940
We'll look around you.
129
00:06:23,260 --> 00:06:25,360
Yes, yes, yes. Now, I mean a person.
130
00:06:25,720 --> 00:06:28,760
Someone. He'd get one and the rest all
follow.
131
00:06:29,480 --> 00:06:30,660
Who is one?
132
00:06:30,980 --> 00:06:33,500
Well, Leslie's one and she's looking for
a job.
133
00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:38,699
She'd soon pull in all those yahoos from
her tennis club. Oh, no, I've had
134
00:06:38,700 --> 00:06:40,840
summer, Leslie. She's prickly.
135
00:06:43,500 --> 00:06:45,780
That's when you had a common pub
setting.
136
00:06:46,320 --> 00:06:48,280
Now, well, now you've got a wine bar.
137
00:06:48,620 --> 00:06:49,670
Yes.
138
00:06:49,840 --> 00:06:53,699
Well, of course, I personally have come
on a bundle since I've come back from
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00:06:53,700 --> 00:06:56,460
Australia. I'm certainly more
sophisticated.
140
00:06:57,840 --> 00:06:59,100
Everyone's noticed that.
141
00:07:00,440 --> 00:07:03,320
Mate to mate, is this a serious
suggestion?
142
00:07:04,180 --> 00:07:05,780
Well, it wasn't at first, Elmo.
143
00:07:06,220 --> 00:07:10,999
But the more you think about it, the
more you realise that Leslie could be an
144
00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:12,880
asset. What, her body, you mean?
145
00:07:13,760 --> 00:07:16,640
Her class. Class, class, that's what I
meant.
146
00:07:16,880 --> 00:07:19,120
Yes. I think I'll get in touch with her.
147
00:07:19,420 --> 00:07:22,840
I know. I'll send her a dozen nighties
to smooth the path.
148
00:07:24,260 --> 00:07:27,980
Elmo, you must get this nightie business
out of your head.
149
00:07:29,800 --> 00:07:33,060
Write her a nice letter.
150
00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:36,930
No, no, no, I don't want to do that. I
don't have much luck with my spelling.
151
00:07:37,240 --> 00:07:38,290
Ring her up.
152
00:07:38,400 --> 00:07:39,780
I could ring her up.
153
00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:42,280
It's a great idea, Elmo.
154
00:07:43,480 --> 00:07:45,700
Thanks, Jack. Have another lager.
155
00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:48,490
Yeah, but I want it in a proper glass
this time.
156
00:07:48,830 --> 00:07:53,770
Yeah. What the hell? Every place a
repute has an eccentric customer.
157
00:07:57,230 --> 00:08:01,570
Yes, Mr Carter, I do agree that there's
a lot to discuss. What about a lunch?
158
00:08:03,630 --> 00:08:04,680
Dinner?
159
00:08:05,410 --> 00:08:08,950
No, I don't think Mrs Carter would feel
very happy about that.
160
00:08:10,410 --> 00:08:14,449
Unless you meant dinner at your home
with Mrs Carter and the three little
161
00:08:14,450 --> 00:08:15,630
Carters, Mr Carter.
162
00:08:17,320 --> 00:08:19,020
No, I didn't think you meant that.
163
00:08:20,420 --> 00:08:23,200
Fine, we'll do it by post then. Bye.
164
00:08:25,300 --> 00:08:30,060
Why do married men translate widow as
fair game, Sandra?
165
00:08:30,061 --> 00:08:33,178
Because they're not very good at being
married men, I suppose.
166
00:08:33,179 --> 00:08:37,919
Thanks. Mind you, for a widower to want
to meet an eighth widow for dinner,
167
00:08:38,039 --> 00:08:39,720
well, very natural.
168
00:08:40,140 --> 00:08:42,850
Will you shut up about Mr Morella's
brother, Sandra?
169
00:08:42,851 --> 00:08:46,769
I didn't mention him. Well, how many
other widowers do you happen to know?
170
00:08:46,770 --> 00:08:48,090
You've got to get out more.
171
00:08:48,590 --> 00:08:50,150
What, with a perfect stranger?
172
00:08:50,390 --> 00:08:53,520
Well, everyone's a perfect stranger the
first time they meet.
173
00:08:53,570 --> 00:08:55,150
Could we drop the subject? No.
174
00:08:55,350 --> 00:08:56,810
You must have some work to do.
175
00:08:57,530 --> 00:09:00,010
They're really romantic Italian men.
176
00:09:01,030 --> 00:09:02,080
Marcello.
177
00:09:02,270 --> 00:09:04,730
Think of Marcello Mastroianni.
178
00:09:05,890 --> 00:09:07,450
Oh, now that would be different.
179
00:09:07,650 --> 00:09:10,050
There you are, you see? You agree in
principle.
180
00:09:10,051 --> 00:09:13,569
I didn't agree to anything of the sort.
Don't! Marcello Mastroianni is a
181
00:09:13,570 --> 00:09:17,810
fantasy. Marcello Morella is... is...
is... Is what?
182
00:09:18,210 --> 00:09:20,830
I don't know him! You never will at this
rate.
183
00:09:20,831 --> 00:09:22,549
Hello, Veronica.
184
00:09:22,550 --> 00:09:23,600
Don't you start!
185
00:09:23,601 --> 00:09:28,649
Oh, that's lovely, that is. I pop in to
get a roll and I think, while I'm here,
186
00:09:28,650 --> 00:09:30,509
I'll just pop in and say, Hello,
Veronica.
187
00:09:30,510 --> 00:09:33,809
Thought any more about going out with Mr
Morella's brother? And I'll get shouted
188
00:09:33,810 --> 00:09:36,430
at. She's agreed in principle, Jacko.
189
00:09:36,431 --> 00:09:38,309
Has she?
190
00:09:38,310 --> 00:09:40,840
Boy, that's a step forward, isn't it?
She has not!
191
00:09:41,280 --> 00:09:45,200
Now, will you do me a favour and keep
your noses out of my personal life?
192
00:09:45,900 --> 00:09:48,160
We care about you. I know.
193
00:09:48,880 --> 00:09:50,060
I know you do.
194
00:09:51,300 --> 00:09:57,120
Nanny. Jacko, I am 40... thing years
old.
195
00:09:57,600 --> 00:10:01,719
That's all right. That was Marcello.
It's all so teenage, you're getting
196
00:10:01,720 --> 00:10:03,040
up with somebody's friend.
197
00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:05,450
Well, I'd do it if I were in your
position.
198
00:10:05,451 --> 00:10:07,979
You don't know, Sandra. You haven't
lived long enough.
199
00:10:07,980 --> 00:10:09,540
You're not an ancient monument.
200
00:10:09,980 --> 00:10:13,110
Yeah, but if you carry on like this,
Veronica, you soon will be.
201
00:10:13,180 --> 00:10:14,720
What if I don't like him?
202
00:10:14,940 --> 00:10:15,990
He might not like you.
203
00:10:16,100 --> 00:10:17,150
Oh, thanks.
204
00:10:17,151 --> 00:10:20,779
Not all we're saying. I know there's an
element of chance, but just dip your toe
205
00:10:20,780 --> 00:10:22,280
in the water again, that's all.
206
00:10:22,700 --> 00:10:23,900
Oh, I don't know.
207
00:10:24,560 --> 00:10:28,519
I'll give him your phone number and he
can ring you up. Oh, no. My memory's not
208
00:10:28,520 --> 00:10:29,570
completely gone.
209
00:10:29,571 --> 00:10:32,619
Give a bloke your phone number before
you know him and he can turn into an
210
00:10:32,620 --> 00:10:33,670
absolute pest.
211
00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:34,770
I know Jackal did.
212
00:10:36,400 --> 00:10:38,160
No. Will you ring him?
213
00:10:38,161 --> 00:10:40,469
What do you think of me if I did that?
214
00:10:40,470 --> 00:10:43,470
Ah, so you already care what he thinks?
No!
215
00:10:44,030 --> 00:10:48,289
A blind date on neutral territory,
that's the answer. Oh, I see. We turn up
216
00:10:48,290 --> 00:10:52,149
a copy of the Times under our arms, do
we? We'll turn up with a big sign on
217
00:10:52,150 --> 00:10:54,620
head saying, I am Veronica, if you like.
Just do it.
218
00:10:55,470 --> 00:10:56,630
You're wavering.
219
00:10:57,090 --> 00:10:58,140
Go on, Veronica.
220
00:10:58,650 --> 00:10:59,700
Waver.
221
00:10:59,830 --> 00:11:00,880
Waver.
222
00:11:03,190 --> 00:11:05,430
If it's a disaster...
223
00:11:14,069 --> 00:11:15,149
Springs Thunderbolt.
224
00:11:16,210 --> 00:11:17,260
Oh, yeah.
225
00:11:17,370 --> 00:11:21,249
Not many people know how to mix these,
you know, but then I've always been
226
00:11:21,250 --> 00:11:23,510
blessed with a pair of sensitive hands.
227
00:11:23,810 --> 00:11:28,190
Table seven, Paul Epley. Thank you.
228
00:11:28,550 --> 00:11:29,930
Oh, yes, of course.
229
00:11:35,450 --> 00:11:36,500
Hello, Leslie.
230
00:11:36,570 --> 00:11:39,510
How dare you leave obscene messages on
my answer phone?
231
00:11:46,090 --> 00:11:47,140
supposed to mean?
232
00:11:47,570 --> 00:11:49,350
I'm offering you a job.
233
00:11:49,590 --> 00:11:50,670
Here? Yeah.
234
00:11:51,250 --> 00:11:52,300
Working for you?
235
00:11:52,430 --> 00:11:56,969
Yeah. I made the mistake of working for
you once before. It was the apogee of my
236
00:11:56,970 --> 00:11:58,020
life. What?
237
00:11:58,170 --> 00:11:59,510
The pit to you.
238
00:11:59,970 --> 00:12:02,050
Oh, that was in a crude pub.
239
00:12:02,390 --> 00:12:04,150
And you were the crudest thing in it.
240
00:12:04,490 --> 00:12:10,209
I adjust myself to my social position,
Leslie. I mean, you can't be crude in a
241
00:12:10,210 --> 00:12:11,260
place like this.
242
00:12:11,261 --> 00:12:12,469
Is that a fact?
243
00:12:12,470 --> 00:12:15,290
Well, I'm sorry I accused you of being
obscene.
244
00:12:16,300 --> 00:12:17,600
I should have said absurd.
245
00:12:17,920 --> 00:12:18,970
Good evening.
246
00:12:20,140 --> 00:12:21,980
It'll be 300 a week.
247
00:12:23,280 --> 00:12:24,720
How much? Basic.
248
00:12:25,140 --> 00:12:26,190
Are you drunk?
249
00:12:26,460 --> 00:12:31,020
No. Me dog found me opals in Australia,
didn't he? I'm loaded.
250
00:12:31,220 --> 00:12:32,300
Money's no object.
251
00:12:32,640 --> 00:12:33,840
And then his commission.
252
00:12:34,040 --> 00:12:35,090
For what?
253
00:12:35,140 --> 00:12:36,190
Favors.
254
00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:41,539
Just what sort of favors did you have in
mind? Well, you bringing in the sort of
255
00:12:41,540 --> 00:12:44,460
customers I want. You know, your tennis
set.
256
00:12:44,680 --> 00:12:46,930
Class. The half -crown voice mob.
257
00:12:47,250 --> 00:12:49,610
25 quid per customer, there you are.
258
00:12:50,050 --> 00:12:51,610
Well, I certainly know people.
259
00:12:51,890 --> 00:12:55,709
Of course you do, of course you do. I
mean, I know people too, but they're not
260
00:12:55,710 --> 00:12:56,760
worth anything.
261
00:12:56,930 --> 00:13:00,150
And then there's the commission on the
champagne.
262
00:13:00,610 --> 00:13:03,390
Two quid, cash in the hand for every
bottle you sell.
263
00:13:04,990 --> 00:13:07,400
It's a good offer, Leslie. You won't
find better.
264
00:13:08,050 --> 00:13:12,509
Well, I do have a lot of other irons in
the fire, of course, but, er... Well, I
265
00:13:12,510 --> 00:13:13,770
could give it a try. Great!
266
00:13:13,771 --> 00:13:15,249
One condition.
267
00:13:15,250 --> 00:13:19,590
Any part of my anatomy is out of bounds
to you. I shall treat you as a shrine,
268
00:13:19,750 --> 00:13:21,390
Leslie. I won't wear pink.
269
00:13:21,630 --> 00:13:22,680
Well, you have to.
270
00:13:22,750 --> 00:13:26,430
I won't. No, you don't. You wear
whatever you like that pulls the knot.
271
00:13:26,431 --> 00:13:27,289
All right.
272
00:13:27,290 --> 00:13:28,340
A trial period.
273
00:13:30,390 --> 00:13:32,570
Oh, hello, Leslie. What are you doing
here?
274
00:13:32,930 --> 00:13:35,250
I have just accepted the offer of a job.
275
00:13:35,251 --> 00:13:38,889
The one I've got to get. I'm not going
to come and rescue you if you don't like
276
00:13:38,890 --> 00:13:39,940
it. I know.
277
00:13:40,110 --> 00:13:41,160
I've grown up, Mummy.
278
00:13:41,640 --> 00:13:46,019
I realise that my qualifications don't
actually qualify me for anything, but a
279
00:13:46,020 --> 00:13:49,120
job I had to take, so I took this one,
however poorly paid.
280
00:13:49,121 --> 00:13:52,939
Well, when I see your first pay split,
we'll decide how much you can afford to
281
00:13:52,940 --> 00:13:53,739
pay at home.
282
00:13:53,740 --> 00:13:54,659
Yes, all right.
283
00:13:54,660 --> 00:13:55,710
Hello, Veronica.
284
00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:58,220
You're looking very Pierre Cardigan.
285
00:14:00,320 --> 00:14:01,620
Can I get you something?
286
00:14:02,180 --> 00:14:03,800
I'll have a gin and tonic, please.
287
00:14:03,920 --> 00:14:04,970
Right.
288
00:14:04,971 --> 00:14:09,019
Incidentally, Veronica, I've noticed now
that you've started getting out again,
289
00:14:09,020 --> 00:14:11,100
you do make a beeline for here.
290
00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:20,870
You're not going to sit here drinking on
your own.
291
00:14:21,060 --> 00:14:24,919
Oh, yeah, and by 11 o 'clock, I shall be
sitting on that bar stool singing Ten
292
00:14:24,920 --> 00:14:25,879
Cents a Dance.
293
00:14:25,880 --> 00:14:28,620
You know what I mean. Yes, I do, and I
shall be.
294
00:14:29,220 --> 00:14:30,300
I'm meeting somebody.
295
00:14:30,660 --> 00:14:33,920
Oh, anyone I know? Mr Morella's brother,
Marcello.
296
00:14:34,330 --> 00:14:35,710
What's he like? I don't know.
297
00:14:36,750 --> 00:14:37,800
It's a blind date.
298
00:14:39,090 --> 00:14:42,270
Mummy! You're far too old for that sort
of thing.
299
00:14:43,450 --> 00:14:46,970
That's all I need to bolster my
confidence. I'm nervous enough as it is.
300
00:14:47,630 --> 00:14:49,330
You won't go anywhere, will you?
301
00:14:49,570 --> 00:14:51,490
Well, I'm not staying here all evening.
302
00:14:51,650 --> 00:14:54,590
You don't know anything about him. Oh,
no, I know.
303
00:14:55,310 --> 00:14:56,360
Oh, God.
304
00:14:56,470 --> 00:14:59,270
What if he turns up with a Chico Marx
hat on?
305
00:15:09,420 --> 00:15:10,940
Mrs. Bainbridge? Yes?
306
00:15:10,941 --> 00:15:12,199
Good evening.
307
00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:14,020
I'm Marcello Morello.
308
00:15:16,300 --> 00:15:17,660
This is ridiculous.
309
00:15:21,820 --> 00:15:25,620
There are so many circuits in here, it's
like a bad case of varicose veins.
310
00:15:26,060 --> 00:15:27,280
The battery's gone.
311
00:15:31,120 --> 00:15:32,500
Underneath. What?
312
00:15:32,740 --> 00:15:33,790
Underneath.
313
00:15:44,910 --> 00:15:45,960
I look in, can you?
314
00:15:46,130 --> 00:15:47,730
Oh, yeah, yeah, you can, yeah.
315
00:15:50,550 --> 00:15:52,350
Fancy another cup of tea? No, thanks.
316
00:15:52,690 --> 00:15:53,740
Think I'll have one.
317
00:16:24,520 --> 00:16:26,510
Has got it. What was wrong with it,
then?
318
00:16:26,720 --> 00:16:29,000
A bit of coding circuit went firing.
319
00:16:29,360 --> 00:16:30,410
Ah.
320
00:16:31,640 --> 00:16:32,690
Any tea in the pot?
321
00:16:32,820 --> 00:16:34,920
Yes. Another ten o 'clock curfew?
322
00:16:35,640 --> 00:16:38,240
Yes. You haven't got it to ten fifteen
yet?
323
00:16:38,900 --> 00:16:39,950
No.
324
00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:44,310
All right. All right. What's amusing
you, Jean?
325
00:16:44,700 --> 00:16:48,559
Oh, it's just the thought of you having
to play by someone else's rules for a
326
00:16:48,560 --> 00:16:51,120
change. Not between seven and ten, we
don't.
327
00:16:51,121 --> 00:16:54,829
Oh, you put some new batteries in. I was
going to do that.
328
00:16:54,830 --> 00:16:56,570
Oh, no, no, it wasn't the batteries.
329
00:16:56,710 --> 00:17:01,130
No? What was it, then? Eric said it was
the, um, coding circuit.
330
00:17:02,230 --> 00:17:03,730
Oh, the coding circuit.
331
00:17:04,010 --> 00:17:05,060
Oh,
332
00:17:05,510 --> 00:17:08,580
they're tricky little things, they are.
Well done, well done.
333
00:17:09,210 --> 00:17:12,820
You're both invited to Lucia's birthday
party, by the way. Oh, isn't it?
334
00:17:13,030 --> 00:17:15,680
No, no, I don't think that's a very good
idea, really.
335
00:17:16,170 --> 00:17:20,050
Why? Well, we don't want to go caught in
trouble, do we, Jean?
336
00:17:20,051 --> 00:17:23,719
I mean, if that... family ever finds out
that you and Lucia ever do anything
337
00:17:23,720 --> 00:17:26,739
more than hold hands, there'll be a
Sicilian vendetta and I don't want to be
338
00:17:26,740 --> 00:17:27,759
anywhere near it.
339
00:17:27,760 --> 00:17:31,360
It's only a birthday party, not the St
Valentine's Day massacre.
340
00:17:31,680 --> 00:17:33,560
No, no, no. I don't think we ought to
go.
341
00:17:34,940 --> 00:17:35,990
Wait a minute.
342
00:17:35,991 --> 00:17:37,099
No, no.
343
00:17:37,100 --> 00:17:38,150
No, we must go.
344
00:17:38,151 --> 00:17:42,199
Because if we don't turn up, they might
be offended and then, or they could just
345
00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:43,800
say, oh dear, never mind.
346
00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:45,920
You take the other night at the Chinese.
347
00:17:46,350 --> 00:17:50,869
All I did was make a very mild joke
about Mousy Tongue. And Mr. G knew what
348
00:17:50,870 --> 00:17:51,249
was doing.
349
00:17:51,250 --> 00:17:55,330
He was chopping up spare ribs. He didn't
move.
350
00:17:56,330 --> 00:17:57,630
No, no, we'd better go.
351
00:17:58,370 --> 00:18:01,740
Only, don't let me have too much to
drink. I don't want to do anything
352
00:18:01,890 --> 00:18:05,090
All you ever do when you've had a few is
want to tap dance.
353
00:18:05,510 --> 00:18:06,710
Well, they might hate it.
354
00:18:06,970 --> 00:18:08,020
They'd love it.
355
00:18:08,710 --> 00:18:09,850
It would be fun.
356
00:18:11,390 --> 00:18:12,890
Veronica's coming. Veronica?
357
00:18:13,110 --> 00:18:14,910
Oh, of course you don't know, do you?
358
00:18:14,911 --> 00:18:17,699
She's had a few dates with Mr Morella's
brother, Marcello.
359
00:18:17,700 --> 00:18:18,750
Ooh.
360
00:18:18,920 --> 00:18:20,260
Oh, I'm ever so glad.
361
00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:22,440
Cos she's still got a lot to give.
362
00:18:22,820 --> 00:18:23,870
Or receive.
363
00:18:24,180 --> 00:18:25,260
I think it's terrible.
364
00:18:25,261 --> 00:18:26,999
Is that a moral judgement, Eric?
365
00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:29,200
No! We work for her.
366
00:18:29,520 --> 00:18:32,820
If she does anything wrong, they could
open up a second front.
367
00:18:33,340 --> 00:18:36,160
Hey, you know how paint goes up in a
fire?
368
00:18:37,160 --> 00:18:38,210
What fire?
369
00:18:38,211 --> 00:18:41,479
Oh, we're talking about them burning
down Bainbridges now.
370
00:18:41,480 --> 00:18:43,199
Well, stranger things have happened.
371
00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:44,450
Only in... your head, Eric.
372
00:18:46,010 --> 00:18:48,900
Eric, will you please forget about this
mafia nonsense?
373
00:18:49,210 --> 00:18:50,290
I never said they were.
374
00:18:50,291 --> 00:18:52,789
I'm just trying to defend my family,
that's all.
375
00:18:52,790 --> 00:18:56,870
Well, as you're so good at electronic,
you can build a subocular alarm.
376
00:18:58,130 --> 00:18:59,180
Who's that?
377
00:18:59,550 --> 00:19:02,550
Well, I'll be original. I'll open the
door and find out.
378
00:19:04,470 --> 00:19:08,790
This Lucia business, you will pick your
way through the minefield, won't you?
379
00:19:08,950 --> 00:19:11,390
Oh, you know me, Eric. It will take its
course.
380
00:19:11,610 --> 00:19:13,410
You couldn't hurry it up, could you?
381
00:19:15,010 --> 00:19:16,570
Hello. Hello, Charles.
382
00:19:17,010 --> 00:19:18,060
Hello, Charles.
383
00:19:18,190 --> 00:19:19,750
Charles has come to say goodbye.
384
00:19:20,110 --> 00:19:23,890
Yes, we've been posted to Germany. I'm
on embarkation leave.
385
00:19:23,891 --> 00:19:27,609
Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Charles,
we'll miss you. We don't get too many
386
00:19:27,610 --> 00:19:29,470
cavalry officers round Motspur Park.
387
00:19:29,810 --> 00:19:30,870
I'll miss you too.
388
00:19:31,150 --> 00:19:34,990
You've been very kind. You maybe feel
almost like one of the chaps.
389
00:19:34,991 --> 00:19:37,229
Well, we're all the same people, aren't
we?
390
00:19:37,230 --> 00:19:39,520
Will you be taking your polo ponies with
you?
391
00:19:39,550 --> 00:19:40,600
Oh, yes.
392
00:19:40,601 --> 00:19:44,309
Well, how about a farewell drink? I've
got some lagers in the fridge.
393
00:19:44,310 --> 00:19:47,609
That's very sweet of you, Jean, but I
did just pop in to say toodaloo.
394
00:19:47,610 --> 00:19:48,529
Charles, sit down.
395
00:19:48,530 --> 00:19:49,580
Thanks very much.
396
00:19:54,630 --> 00:19:57,050
Oh, that's Eric's. Is that yours, Eric?
397
00:19:57,051 --> 00:20:02,769
Jack, I wonder if I could beg a favour.
Would you mind giving this letter to
398
00:20:02,770 --> 00:20:04,210
Gloria for me? Yes, of course.
399
00:20:04,211 --> 00:20:05,609
I'll tell you what it says.
400
00:20:05,610 --> 00:20:06,930
No need to, if it's private.
401
00:20:07,330 --> 00:20:08,380
What's in it, then?
402
00:20:09,580 --> 00:20:13,679
Well, it's just to let Gloria know that
I'll never forget her and I'll always
403
00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:17,319
think of her with the greatest affection
and if only things had turned out
404
00:20:17,320 --> 00:20:21,360
differently and so on. What, you really
love her? Yes, Jean, she has my heart.
405
00:20:21,361 --> 00:20:24,439
Charles, I think you ought to give that
to her yourself.
406
00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:25,820
No, no, couldn't, couldn't.
407
00:20:26,460 --> 00:20:27,510
You know.
408
00:20:30,840 --> 00:20:33,400
One tries to play life with a straight
bat.
409
00:20:34,620 --> 00:20:35,940
Gloria, the married woman.
410
00:20:36,140 --> 00:20:37,520
Charles, sit down, sit down.
411
00:20:38,100 --> 00:20:39,920
Gloria? He's going to get a divorce.
412
00:20:40,420 --> 00:20:41,470
My God.
413
00:20:41,480 --> 00:20:43,160
I'll get over there straight away.
414
00:20:43,180 --> 00:20:47,240
Don't do that, Charles, no. Because she
could be, well... Washing her hair?
415
00:20:47,241 --> 00:20:48,339
Having an early night.
416
00:20:48,340 --> 00:20:49,440
No, it's no good.
417
00:20:49,960 --> 00:20:51,010
My blood's up.
418
00:20:51,011 --> 00:20:55,299
It's understandable, Charles. But when
you approach Gloria, you've got to do it
419
00:20:55,300 --> 00:20:56,840
with panache.
420
00:20:57,240 --> 00:20:58,290
With style.
421
00:20:58,700 --> 00:21:00,360
You've got to be romantic.
422
00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:02,490
Super idea.
423
00:21:05,120 --> 00:21:06,170
What shall I do?
424
00:21:07,260 --> 00:21:08,310
Well, I don't know.
425
00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:10,340
Oh. They'll think of something.
426
00:21:15,060 --> 00:21:16,680
There's murder in our hills.
427
00:21:17,340 --> 00:21:18,840
What are we doing here anyway?
428
00:21:19,160 --> 00:21:20,210
You'll find out.
429
00:21:21,360 --> 00:21:22,410
Gloria.
430
00:21:24,340 --> 00:21:25,500
Tell us something.
431
00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:28,460
I want to know how to comport myself,
don't I?
432
00:21:29,940 --> 00:21:30,990
Good luck, Gloria.
433
00:21:31,960 --> 00:21:33,010
With what?
434
00:21:33,680 --> 00:21:34,730
With life.
435
00:21:36,430 --> 00:21:37,930
You haven't gone all mystical.
436
00:21:39,090 --> 00:21:40,140
Where are you going?
437
00:21:47,050 --> 00:21:48,100
Oh!
438
00:21:52,750 --> 00:21:53,800
Hello, Pumpkin.
439
00:21:54,370 --> 00:21:55,420
Jos!
440
00:21:56,190 --> 00:21:57,810
I want you to be my wife.
441
00:21:58,770 --> 00:22:00,070
Oh, Josie.
442
00:22:00,750 --> 00:22:05,370
I'd love to, but me and the Royal Scots
Greys will never see eye to eye.
443
00:22:05,930 --> 00:22:06,980
They won't have to.
444
00:22:07,030 --> 00:22:08,350
I'll resign my commission.
445
00:22:10,670 --> 00:22:12,960
Nobody's ever done anything like that
for me.
446
00:22:13,150 --> 00:22:15,110
We'll farm in Hampshire.
447
00:22:15,910 --> 00:22:16,960
Oh, dear.
448
00:22:19,970 --> 00:22:24,390
Oh, Giles, you know I'd work down a coal
mine for you if you asked me to.
449
00:22:24,870 --> 00:22:25,920
But farming?
450
00:22:26,590 --> 00:22:28,330
I'd just be a liability again.
451
00:22:28,850 --> 00:22:32,150
I mean, milking, shearing and plucking.
452
00:22:32,880 --> 00:22:34,740
Well, I ever was with the hairdresser.
453
00:22:34,780 --> 00:22:36,520
Oh, silly pumpkin.
454
00:22:37,420 --> 00:22:39,280
We won't do any actual work.
455
00:22:39,980 --> 00:22:46,179
I'll just oversee things occasionally
and devote the rest of my life to making
456
00:22:46,180 --> 00:22:47,230
you happy.
457
00:22:49,100 --> 00:22:50,620
I've gone all yewdy.
458
00:22:53,340 --> 00:22:55,680
Let's ride into the sunset, Giles.
459
00:22:56,020 --> 00:22:57,340
It's only three o 'clock.
460
00:22:58,880 --> 00:23:02,140
Walk on, Trumper.
461
00:23:14,120 --> 00:23:15,800
You'll want champagne, of course.
462
00:23:15,900 --> 00:23:18,700
Actually, Leslie, we're beering it at
the moment.
463
00:23:18,920 --> 00:23:20,900
Beer drinkers do nothing for me, Adam.
464
00:23:21,720 --> 00:23:23,100
Three bottles of champagne.
465
00:23:23,920 --> 00:23:26,210
You're all coming to Phantom with me,
Leslie.
466
00:23:26,440 --> 00:23:28,260
I've sweated blood to get tickets.
467
00:23:28,780 --> 00:23:29,830
We'll see.
468
00:23:31,220 --> 00:23:32,600
Three bottles of champagne.
469
00:23:33,180 --> 00:23:34,380
Wonderful, wonderful.
470
00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:38,200
Listen, if they want to throw bread
rolls or anything, that's fine.
471
00:23:38,560 --> 00:23:40,240
They'll do nothing of the sort.
472
00:23:40,600 --> 00:23:42,650
It's all right. You do whatever you
think.
473
00:23:42,680 --> 00:23:44,940
You're a schemer when it comes to tops.
474
00:23:45,180 --> 00:23:49,099
I resent schemer. I'm simply proving
that when I do a job, I do it
475
00:23:49,100 --> 00:23:51,330
wholeheartedly. It's a matter of
principle.
476
00:23:51,640 --> 00:23:54,220
Incidentally, that's £126 commission so
far.
477
00:23:55,820 --> 00:23:57,080
Two white wines.
478
00:23:57,740 --> 00:23:58,790
Cheeky chops.
479
00:23:58,800 --> 00:24:00,460
I haven't got cheeky chops.
480
00:24:00,780 --> 00:24:04,920
Oh, you're cheekier than you know. Shut
up, you're making me spill the wine.
481
00:24:06,380 --> 00:24:09,060
Are we still going up with after the
close?
482
00:24:09,300 --> 00:24:10,380
I'll close early.
483
00:24:10,600 --> 00:24:11,650
No need.
484
00:24:11,740 --> 00:24:14,160
We've got all the time in the world.
485
00:24:16,880 --> 00:24:17,930
Rockies.
486
00:24:21,080 --> 00:24:22,460
Three mixed salads.
487
00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:26,740
I'm afraid we only have vintage
champagne, but you won't mind, will you?
488
00:24:27,020 --> 00:24:28,070
No.
489
00:24:28,700 --> 00:24:29,820
Make that vintage.
490
00:24:30,200 --> 00:24:31,250
Brew! Brew!
491
00:24:34,540 --> 00:24:38,939
Leslie, your mother wanted me to give
you a message. She won't be home till
492
00:24:38,940 --> 00:24:39,899
late tonight.
493
00:24:39,900 --> 00:24:41,040
No need to ask why.
494
00:24:41,500 --> 00:24:44,270
I think her going out with Marcello is
rather romantic.
495
00:24:44,540 --> 00:24:47,970
Well, you wouldn't if you had to get
your own supper when you got home.
496
00:24:50,940 --> 00:24:53,600
So, that's the famous Lucia.
497
00:24:53,800 --> 00:24:54,850
Must be.
498
00:24:55,760 --> 00:24:57,380
Right, what can I get you, Lucia?
499
00:24:57,760 --> 00:24:59,020
Vodka and orange, please.
500
00:24:59,560 --> 00:25:00,610
It's odourless.
501
00:25:00,940 --> 00:25:01,990
Good thinking.
502
00:25:02,080 --> 00:25:04,120
Two vodka and oranges, please, Paulette.
503
00:25:04,220 --> 00:25:05,270
To be announced.
504
00:25:08,360 --> 00:25:09,410
Very pretty.
505
00:25:09,480 --> 00:25:10,530
Yes, he is.
506
00:25:10,840 --> 00:25:15,040
It's a shame that so many Latin women
have that tendency, though. What
507
00:25:15,580 --> 00:25:18,540
Well, they do tend to balloon very early
in life.
508
00:25:18,740 --> 00:25:19,820
Yes, I suppose they do.
509
00:25:21,400 --> 00:25:22,640
She's got lovely hair.
510
00:25:22,641 --> 00:25:23,979
Very thick.
511
00:25:23,980 --> 00:25:26,750
Yes. With the right conditioner, it
could be even nicer.
512
00:25:27,320 --> 00:25:29,790
Do you ever notice he finds her very
attractive?
513
00:25:30,620 --> 00:25:31,670
Obviously, yes.
514
00:25:33,620 --> 00:25:34,670
Good night, Leslie.
515
00:25:34,700 --> 00:25:35,750
Good night, Sandra.
516
00:25:36,881 --> 00:25:38,749
Can't stop.
517
00:25:38,750 --> 00:25:40,170
Hello. Yes. Who's that?
518
00:25:40,470 --> 00:25:41,520
My bank manager.
519
00:25:42,090 --> 00:25:43,570
Hello. Hello.
520
00:25:44,910 --> 00:25:46,590
Paulette calls me Rocky.
521
00:25:46,781 --> 00:25:48,869
Does she?
522
00:25:48,870 --> 00:25:52,890
She's a beautiful girl, got a beautiful
nature, and she likes me.
523
00:25:53,170 --> 00:25:54,910
Oh, Wilma, you've gone all gooey.
524
00:25:55,150 --> 00:25:59,550
I can't help it. You see, she just likes
me for meself and not for my money.
525
00:25:59,950 --> 00:26:01,000
You sure about that?
526
00:26:01,190 --> 00:26:02,910
Oh, yes, she told me.
527
00:26:11,560 --> 00:26:12,610
Fix that up as well.
528
00:26:12,780 --> 00:26:14,640
No, I think someone else fixed that up.
529
00:26:14,940 --> 00:26:20,279
I just wondered, because your sister -in
-law and her officer and Uncle Marcello
530
00:26:20,280 --> 00:26:23,920
and Mrs Bainbridge, you seem to be doing
romantic things lately.
531
00:26:24,280 --> 00:26:26,450
Yeah, I know. And I'm not even on
commission.
532
00:26:26,840 --> 00:26:28,820
Would you do something romantic for me?
533
00:26:28,821 --> 00:26:32,699
Well, I would do, Lucia, but I've got to
get you home in 18 and a half minutes.
534
00:26:32,700 --> 00:26:34,540
No, at my party tomorrow.
535
00:26:35,040 --> 00:26:36,120
Yeah, of course I will.
536
00:26:36,580 --> 00:26:41,029
No. It's a stupid, silly, old -fashioned
idea. Forget it. Oh, come on. What is
537
00:26:41,030 --> 00:26:43,130
this stupid, silly, old -fashioned idea?
538
00:26:43,530 --> 00:26:44,870
Oh, I'm embarrassed now.
539
00:26:46,090 --> 00:26:50,669
I keep saying I just want to be an
ordinary English girl, but come a
540
00:26:50,670 --> 00:26:53,590
and I was going to ask you to do this
old Sicilian captain.
541
00:26:53,591 --> 00:26:57,189
It's not singing, is it? Because with
all the tenors in your house, well, the
542
00:26:57,190 --> 00:26:58,510
competition's a bit stiff.
543
00:26:58,550 --> 00:27:00,230
No, it's something with a flower.
544
00:27:00,570 --> 00:27:01,690
No real significance.
545
00:27:01,990 --> 00:27:05,830
It's just that, well, in the old way, it
would be honouring me.
546
00:27:06,600 --> 00:27:08,400
And therefore honouring the family.
547
00:27:08,401 --> 00:27:10,259
All right, I'll do it. Have you seen
enough?
548
00:27:10,260 --> 00:27:12,939
No, I don't mind, as long as I don't
have to fly out to Sicily, climb a
549
00:27:12,940 --> 00:27:16,239
mountain, pick the flower up and fly all
the way back before your birthday.
550
00:27:16,240 --> 00:27:18,780
Now, a rose is a flower you do it with.
551
00:27:19,360 --> 00:27:22,580
It just involves a few simple
traditional gestures.
552
00:27:23,180 --> 00:27:25,710
Right, I'll get a flower and we'll have
a practice.
553
00:27:25,840 --> 00:27:28,250
Here, Elmo, you haven't got a flower,
have you?
554
00:27:28,620 --> 00:27:30,120
I'm looking at her, Jack.
555
00:27:54,640 --> 00:27:58,639
Just a moment everybody, if I could have
your attention just for a moment
556
00:27:58,640 --> 00:27:59,690
please.
557
00:29:13,301 --> 00:29:15,399
I'm done.
558
00:29:15,400 --> 00:29:19,950
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