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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:10,920 --> 00:00:17,000 All thanks to you, these things I do, 2 00:00:17,420 --> 00:00:21,880 because of you, 3 00:00:22,520 --> 00:00:26,080 because of you. 4 00:00:26,291 --> 00:00:28,039 I 5 00:00:28,040 --> 00:00:34,759 don't 6 00:00:34,760 --> 00:00:38,319 understand you, Lucia. When you're indoors, you're like a shy violet. Get 7 00:00:38,320 --> 00:00:40,430 outside and you're like a passion flower. 8 00:00:40,510 --> 00:00:41,710 It's the Sicilian way. 9 00:00:42,490 --> 00:00:45,200 Well, there must be a lot of confused Sicilian blokes. 10 00:00:46,030 --> 00:00:49,090 Oh, I can't tell you what a relief it is to express myself. 11 00:00:49,750 --> 00:00:55,349 I mean, I love my family dearly, but where men are concerned, they're... Not 12 00:00:55,350 --> 00:00:56,249 this century. 13 00:00:56,250 --> 00:00:57,300 Exactly. 14 00:00:57,610 --> 00:01:00,260 Well, I've enjoyed you expressing yourself with me. 15 00:01:02,670 --> 00:01:06,729 Come on. I promised your dad I'd have you in by ten o 'clock. And if I don't, 16 00:01:06,730 --> 00:01:08,230 won't let me take you out again. 17 00:01:08,430 --> 00:01:10,050 You mean you want to see me again? 18 00:01:10,051 --> 00:01:11,109 Oh, yeah. 19 00:01:11,110 --> 00:01:12,160 Yeah. 20 00:01:12,370 --> 00:01:13,420 Come on, Cinderella. 21 00:01:23,330 --> 00:01:24,810 Two seconds to go, Mr. Morella. 22 00:01:24,811 --> 00:01:26,069 I know. 23 00:01:26,070 --> 00:01:27,120 Good boy, Jacko. 24 00:01:28,690 --> 00:01:29,740 Lucia? 25 00:01:29,890 --> 00:01:30,940 Good night, Jacko. 26 00:01:31,370 --> 00:01:32,990 Thank you for a pleasant evening. 27 00:01:32,991 --> 00:01:33,829 Good night, Lucia. 28 00:01:33,830 --> 00:01:35,390 The page has been entirely mine. 29 00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:41,570 I'd like to take Lucia out again, if I may, Mr. Morella. 30 00:01:42,480 --> 00:01:43,780 Yes, you may. 31 00:01:43,980 --> 00:01:45,120 I'll call ten next time. 32 00:01:46,020 --> 00:01:47,700 Ten o 'clock. Right. Good night. 33 00:01:48,060 --> 00:01:50,380 One moment. 34 00:01:51,800 --> 00:01:53,840 I have been thinking about my brother. 35 00:01:54,040 --> 00:01:55,840 Which one of the seven would that be? 36 00:01:56,000 --> 00:02:01,780 The third, Marcello. Oh, yeah. You know, he'd been a widower for three years. 37 00:02:02,720 --> 00:02:07,020 I also have been thinking about your lady boss, Mrs. Bainbridge. 38 00:02:08,110 --> 00:02:09,160 She is a widow. 39 00:02:09,250 --> 00:02:10,310 You little rascal. 40 00:02:10,850 --> 00:02:13,730 What is life but a man and a woman? 41 00:02:13,990 --> 00:02:15,040 My theory exactly. 42 00:02:16,370 --> 00:02:19,430 Maybe... Maybe you and I could become two Cupid. 43 00:02:19,850 --> 00:02:22,590 Yes. Nice people should not be alone. 44 00:02:22,910 --> 00:02:26,160 Leave it to me, Mr. Morella. I'll get some feathers on me new arrows. 45 00:02:27,410 --> 00:02:28,460 Buonanotte. 46 00:02:30,570 --> 00:02:31,620 Buonanotte. 47 00:02:39,500 --> 00:02:40,550 Hello, Gloria. 48 00:02:40,580 --> 00:02:41,630 Hello, Jacko. 49 00:02:41,631 --> 00:02:43,179 Been out? 50 00:02:43,180 --> 00:02:44,920 Yeah, she had to be in by ten o 'clock. 51 00:02:45,160 --> 00:02:46,210 Have a thought? 52 00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:48,850 Well, not really. I need me beauty sleep these days. 53 00:02:49,020 --> 00:02:50,070 Don't we all? 54 00:02:50,700 --> 00:02:52,560 Good evening. Can I get you something? 55 00:02:52,920 --> 00:02:53,970 Gloria? 56 00:02:54,220 --> 00:02:55,640 No, thank you. I'm fine. 57 00:02:56,200 --> 00:02:57,700 Lager and a wine glass, please. 58 00:02:58,040 --> 00:02:59,260 Wine and wine glass? 59 00:02:59,620 --> 00:03:01,000 It's the governor's orders. 60 00:03:01,020 --> 00:03:02,070 Oh, him. 61 00:03:02,200 --> 00:03:04,490 You're new here, aren't you? Yeah, Paulette. 62 00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:05,730 Died yesterday. 63 00:03:06,660 --> 00:03:08,220 It's robbing in here, isn't it? 64 00:03:11,470 --> 00:03:14,450 Waitressing is waitressing, wherever you waitress. 65 00:03:15,070 --> 00:03:16,210 Yeah, quite, yeah. 66 00:03:16,850 --> 00:03:18,130 Lager in a wine glass. 67 00:03:18,450 --> 00:03:19,500 Yeah. 68 00:03:19,501 --> 00:03:22,489 So what are you doing here then, Gloria? 69 00:03:22,490 --> 00:03:23,870 Waiting to be picked up. 70 00:03:26,130 --> 00:03:28,630 Gloria. I have got a date. 71 00:03:29,150 --> 00:03:30,200 Oh, sorry. 72 00:03:30,810 --> 00:03:33,760 No chance of you and Reg getting back together again then? 73 00:03:33,850 --> 00:03:35,490 Quite the contrary, actually. 74 00:03:35,730 --> 00:03:36,780 He's filed. 75 00:03:37,150 --> 00:03:38,200 Not for divorce? 76 00:03:38,790 --> 00:03:39,990 Well, it's not his nails. 77 00:03:42,250 --> 00:03:43,300 rounds of adultery. 78 00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:46,390 Well, you won't be contesting that, will you? 79 00:03:47,390 --> 00:03:49,150 No, I can't really. 80 00:03:49,710 --> 00:03:52,330 Mind you, adultery's not the word I'd use. 81 00:03:52,690 --> 00:03:54,310 What word would you use, Gloria? 82 00:03:55,750 --> 00:03:56,800 Friendship. 83 00:03:58,550 --> 00:04:04,170 I know he's your brother, but I still maintain it's his fault. 84 00:04:04,430 --> 00:04:07,710 He went back on night, and I told him not to. 85 00:04:08,090 --> 00:04:10,320 Is he still lobster fishing in Ilfracombe? 86 00:04:10,370 --> 00:04:14,320 No. Evidently he's gone to Circe on a geological expedition. 87 00:04:15,360 --> 00:04:17,400 Ridge doesn't know anything about rocks. 88 00:04:17,579 --> 00:04:18,959 No, he's doing the teas. 89 00:04:21,220 --> 00:04:23,720 Teas? Well, cook then. 90 00:04:24,500 --> 00:04:26,300 So who are you meeting tonight then? 91 00:04:27,020 --> 00:04:28,070 Imran Khan. 92 00:04:29,500 --> 00:04:31,520 Not the... No. 93 00:04:32,260 --> 00:04:33,310 Terry Bilston. 94 00:04:33,620 --> 00:04:34,960 I met him up the fair. 95 00:04:36,020 --> 00:04:38,040 He's a wizard at shooting corks. 96 00:04:43,530 --> 00:04:44,770 I had a teddy bear once. 97 00:04:45,130 --> 00:04:46,180 What do you call him? 98 00:04:46,430 --> 00:04:47,480 Marilyn. 99 00:04:48,330 --> 00:04:50,570 You don't have gold teddy bears. 100 00:04:50,930 --> 00:04:51,980 Oh, I did. 101 00:04:52,510 --> 00:04:55,410 So, er, what did he do, this Terry Bilston? 102 00:04:56,110 --> 00:04:57,370 He's a dispatch rider. 103 00:04:57,910 --> 00:05:00,330 He's virtually inseparable from his Kawasaki. 104 00:05:00,331 --> 00:05:04,229 What did you have to do? Did you have to prize him off with a crowbar? 105 00:05:04,230 --> 00:05:05,280 Nice float. 106 00:05:05,750 --> 00:05:06,800 Oh, yes. 107 00:05:07,070 --> 00:05:08,120 Very nice. 108 00:05:08,570 --> 00:05:09,620 Really. 109 00:05:12,081 --> 00:05:13,949 We're the bike. 110 00:05:13,950 --> 00:05:15,210 Oh, Terry. 111 00:05:15,790 --> 00:05:18,140 I'd like you to meet my brother -in -law, Jacko. 112 00:05:18,250 --> 00:05:21,670 Hello. There you go. Now, come on. We'll miss the main battle. 113 00:05:22,230 --> 00:05:23,670 Where are you going, Gloria? 114 00:05:23,870 --> 00:05:24,920 Mud wrestling. 115 00:05:26,730 --> 00:05:28,490 Is he really the best you can do? 116 00:05:29,410 --> 00:05:30,460 No. 117 00:05:30,950 --> 00:05:32,970 Joss was the best I could ever really do. 118 00:05:37,450 --> 00:05:38,500 Bye, Jacko. 119 00:05:55,370 --> 00:06:00,129 Oh, Dano, why do I always get people like that? I mean, this place, I ought 120 00:06:00,130 --> 00:06:01,730 be attracting the in crowd. 121 00:06:02,150 --> 00:06:03,450 That was the 60s. 122 00:06:04,090 --> 00:06:06,650 Well, what happened to them? They all aged. 123 00:06:07,010 --> 00:06:08,250 Who's the new lot? 124 00:06:08,590 --> 00:06:12,260 I don't know. I suppose it's those yuppies. You know, Sloane Rangers, that 125 00:06:12,430 --> 00:06:13,790 Where'd you get them from? 126 00:06:14,250 --> 00:06:16,360 Well, you don't buy them from a shop, Elmo. 127 00:06:17,150 --> 00:06:21,030 What you... What you need in here is a hook. 128 00:06:21,520 --> 00:06:22,940 We'll look around you. 129 00:06:23,260 --> 00:06:25,360 Yes, yes, yes. Now, I mean a person. 130 00:06:25,720 --> 00:06:28,760 Someone. He'd get one and the rest all follow. 131 00:06:29,480 --> 00:06:30,660 Who is one? 132 00:06:30,980 --> 00:06:33,500 Well, Leslie's one and she's looking for a job. 133 00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:38,699 She'd soon pull in all those yahoos from her tennis club. Oh, no, I've had 134 00:06:38,700 --> 00:06:40,840 summer, Leslie. She's prickly. 135 00:06:43,500 --> 00:06:45,780 That's when you had a common pub setting. 136 00:06:46,320 --> 00:06:48,280 Now, well, now you've got a wine bar. 137 00:06:48,620 --> 00:06:49,670 Yes. 138 00:06:49,840 --> 00:06:53,699 Well, of course, I personally have come on a bundle since I've come back from 139 00:06:53,700 --> 00:06:56,460 Australia. I'm certainly more sophisticated. 140 00:06:57,840 --> 00:06:59,100 Everyone's noticed that. 141 00:07:00,440 --> 00:07:03,320 Mate to mate, is this a serious suggestion? 142 00:07:04,180 --> 00:07:05,780 Well, it wasn't at first, Elmo. 143 00:07:06,220 --> 00:07:10,999 But the more you think about it, the more you realise that Leslie could be an 144 00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:12,880 asset. What, her body, you mean? 145 00:07:13,760 --> 00:07:16,640 Her class. Class, class, that's what I meant. 146 00:07:16,880 --> 00:07:19,120 Yes. I think I'll get in touch with her. 147 00:07:19,420 --> 00:07:22,840 I know. I'll send her a dozen nighties to smooth the path. 148 00:07:24,260 --> 00:07:27,980 Elmo, you must get this nightie business out of your head. 149 00:07:29,800 --> 00:07:33,060 Write her a nice letter. 150 00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:36,930 No, no, no, I don't want to do that. I don't have much luck with my spelling. 151 00:07:37,240 --> 00:07:38,290 Ring her up. 152 00:07:38,400 --> 00:07:39,780 I could ring her up. 153 00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:42,280 It's a great idea, Elmo. 154 00:07:43,480 --> 00:07:45,700 Thanks, Jack. Have another lager. 155 00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:48,490 Yeah, but I want it in a proper glass this time. 156 00:07:48,830 --> 00:07:53,770 Yeah. What the hell? Every place a repute has an eccentric customer. 157 00:07:57,230 --> 00:08:01,570 Yes, Mr Carter, I do agree that there's a lot to discuss. What about a lunch? 158 00:08:03,630 --> 00:08:04,680 Dinner? 159 00:08:05,410 --> 00:08:08,950 No, I don't think Mrs Carter would feel very happy about that. 160 00:08:10,410 --> 00:08:14,449 Unless you meant dinner at your home with Mrs Carter and the three little 161 00:08:14,450 --> 00:08:15,630 Carters, Mr Carter. 162 00:08:17,320 --> 00:08:19,020 No, I didn't think you meant that. 163 00:08:20,420 --> 00:08:23,200 Fine, we'll do it by post then. Bye. 164 00:08:25,300 --> 00:08:30,060 Why do married men translate widow as fair game, Sandra? 165 00:08:30,061 --> 00:08:33,178 Because they're not very good at being married men, I suppose. 166 00:08:33,179 --> 00:08:37,919 Thanks. Mind you, for a widower to want to meet an eighth widow for dinner, 167 00:08:38,039 --> 00:08:39,720 well, very natural. 168 00:08:40,140 --> 00:08:42,850 Will you shut up about Mr Morella's brother, Sandra? 169 00:08:42,851 --> 00:08:46,769 I didn't mention him. Well, how many other widowers do you happen to know? 170 00:08:46,770 --> 00:08:48,090 You've got to get out more. 171 00:08:48,590 --> 00:08:50,150 What, with a perfect stranger? 172 00:08:50,390 --> 00:08:53,520 Well, everyone's a perfect stranger the first time they meet. 173 00:08:53,570 --> 00:08:55,150 Could we drop the subject? No. 174 00:08:55,350 --> 00:08:56,810 You must have some work to do. 175 00:08:57,530 --> 00:09:00,010 They're really romantic Italian men. 176 00:09:01,030 --> 00:09:02,080 Marcello. 177 00:09:02,270 --> 00:09:04,730 Think of Marcello Mastroianni. 178 00:09:05,890 --> 00:09:07,450 Oh, now that would be different. 179 00:09:07,650 --> 00:09:10,050 There you are, you see? You agree in principle. 180 00:09:10,051 --> 00:09:13,569 I didn't agree to anything of the sort. Don't! Marcello Mastroianni is a 181 00:09:13,570 --> 00:09:17,810 fantasy. Marcello Morella is... is... is... Is what? 182 00:09:18,210 --> 00:09:20,830 I don't know him! You never will at this rate. 183 00:09:20,831 --> 00:09:22,549 Hello, Veronica. 184 00:09:22,550 --> 00:09:23,600 Don't you start! 185 00:09:23,601 --> 00:09:28,649 Oh, that's lovely, that is. I pop in to get a roll and I think, while I'm here, 186 00:09:28,650 --> 00:09:30,509 I'll just pop in and say, Hello, Veronica. 187 00:09:30,510 --> 00:09:33,809 Thought any more about going out with Mr Morella's brother? And I'll get shouted 188 00:09:33,810 --> 00:09:36,430 at. She's agreed in principle, Jacko. 189 00:09:36,431 --> 00:09:38,309 Has she? 190 00:09:38,310 --> 00:09:40,840 Boy, that's a step forward, isn't it? She has not! 191 00:09:41,280 --> 00:09:45,200 Now, will you do me a favour and keep your noses out of my personal life? 192 00:09:45,900 --> 00:09:48,160 We care about you. I know. 193 00:09:48,880 --> 00:09:50,060 I know you do. 194 00:09:51,300 --> 00:09:57,120 Nanny. Jacko, I am 40... thing years old. 195 00:09:57,600 --> 00:10:01,719 That's all right. That was Marcello. It's all so teenage, you're getting 196 00:10:01,720 --> 00:10:03,040 up with somebody's friend. 197 00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:05,450 Well, I'd do it if I were in your position. 198 00:10:05,451 --> 00:10:07,979 You don't know, Sandra. You haven't lived long enough. 199 00:10:07,980 --> 00:10:09,540 You're not an ancient monument. 200 00:10:09,980 --> 00:10:13,110 Yeah, but if you carry on like this, Veronica, you soon will be. 201 00:10:13,180 --> 00:10:14,720 What if I don't like him? 202 00:10:14,940 --> 00:10:15,990 He might not like you. 203 00:10:16,100 --> 00:10:17,150 Oh, thanks. 204 00:10:17,151 --> 00:10:20,779 Not all we're saying. I know there's an element of chance, but just dip your toe 205 00:10:20,780 --> 00:10:22,280 in the water again, that's all. 206 00:10:22,700 --> 00:10:23,900 Oh, I don't know. 207 00:10:24,560 --> 00:10:28,519 I'll give him your phone number and he can ring you up. Oh, no. My memory's not 208 00:10:28,520 --> 00:10:29,570 completely gone. 209 00:10:29,571 --> 00:10:32,619 Give a bloke your phone number before you know him and he can turn into an 210 00:10:32,620 --> 00:10:33,670 absolute pest. 211 00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:34,770 I know Jackal did. 212 00:10:36,400 --> 00:10:38,160 No. Will you ring him? 213 00:10:38,161 --> 00:10:40,469 What do you think of me if I did that? 214 00:10:40,470 --> 00:10:43,470 Ah, so you already care what he thinks? No! 215 00:10:44,030 --> 00:10:48,289 A blind date on neutral territory, that's the answer. Oh, I see. We turn up 216 00:10:48,290 --> 00:10:52,149 a copy of the Times under our arms, do we? We'll turn up with a big sign on 217 00:10:52,150 --> 00:10:54,620 head saying, I am Veronica, if you like. Just do it. 218 00:10:55,470 --> 00:10:56,630 You're wavering. 219 00:10:57,090 --> 00:10:58,140 Go on, Veronica. 220 00:10:58,650 --> 00:10:59,700 Waver. 221 00:10:59,830 --> 00:11:00,880 Waver. 222 00:11:03,190 --> 00:11:05,430 If it's a disaster... 223 00:11:14,069 --> 00:11:15,149 Springs Thunderbolt. 224 00:11:16,210 --> 00:11:17,260 Oh, yeah. 225 00:11:17,370 --> 00:11:21,249 Not many people know how to mix these, you know, but then I've always been 226 00:11:21,250 --> 00:11:23,510 blessed with a pair of sensitive hands. 227 00:11:23,810 --> 00:11:28,190 Table seven, Paul Epley. Thank you. 228 00:11:28,550 --> 00:11:29,930 Oh, yes, of course. 229 00:11:35,450 --> 00:11:36,500 Hello, Leslie. 230 00:11:36,570 --> 00:11:39,510 How dare you leave obscene messages on my answer phone? 231 00:11:46,090 --> 00:11:47,140 supposed to mean? 232 00:11:47,570 --> 00:11:49,350 I'm offering you a job. 233 00:11:49,590 --> 00:11:50,670 Here? Yeah. 234 00:11:51,250 --> 00:11:52,300 Working for you? 235 00:11:52,430 --> 00:11:56,969 Yeah. I made the mistake of working for you once before. It was the apogee of my 236 00:11:56,970 --> 00:11:58,020 life. What? 237 00:11:58,170 --> 00:11:59,510 The pit to you. 238 00:11:59,970 --> 00:12:02,050 Oh, that was in a crude pub. 239 00:12:02,390 --> 00:12:04,150 And you were the crudest thing in it. 240 00:12:04,490 --> 00:12:10,209 I adjust myself to my social position, Leslie. I mean, you can't be crude in a 241 00:12:10,210 --> 00:12:11,260 place like this. 242 00:12:11,261 --> 00:12:12,469 Is that a fact? 243 00:12:12,470 --> 00:12:15,290 Well, I'm sorry I accused you of being obscene. 244 00:12:16,300 --> 00:12:17,600 I should have said absurd. 245 00:12:17,920 --> 00:12:18,970 Good evening. 246 00:12:20,140 --> 00:12:21,980 It'll be 300 a week. 247 00:12:23,280 --> 00:12:24,720 How much? Basic. 248 00:12:25,140 --> 00:12:26,190 Are you drunk? 249 00:12:26,460 --> 00:12:31,020 No. Me dog found me opals in Australia, didn't he? I'm loaded. 250 00:12:31,220 --> 00:12:32,300 Money's no object. 251 00:12:32,640 --> 00:12:33,840 And then his commission. 252 00:12:34,040 --> 00:12:35,090 For what? 253 00:12:35,140 --> 00:12:36,190 Favors. 254 00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:41,539 Just what sort of favors did you have in mind? Well, you bringing in the sort of 255 00:12:41,540 --> 00:12:44,460 customers I want. You know, your tennis set. 256 00:12:44,680 --> 00:12:46,930 Class. The half -crown voice mob. 257 00:12:47,250 --> 00:12:49,610 25 quid per customer, there you are. 258 00:12:50,050 --> 00:12:51,610 Well, I certainly know people. 259 00:12:51,890 --> 00:12:55,709 Of course you do, of course you do. I mean, I know people too, but they're not 260 00:12:55,710 --> 00:12:56,760 worth anything. 261 00:12:56,930 --> 00:13:00,150 And then there's the commission on the champagne. 262 00:13:00,610 --> 00:13:03,390 Two quid, cash in the hand for every bottle you sell. 263 00:13:04,990 --> 00:13:07,400 It's a good offer, Leslie. You won't find better. 264 00:13:08,050 --> 00:13:12,509 Well, I do have a lot of other irons in the fire, of course, but, er... Well, I 265 00:13:12,510 --> 00:13:13,770 could give it a try. Great! 266 00:13:13,771 --> 00:13:15,249 One condition. 267 00:13:15,250 --> 00:13:19,590 Any part of my anatomy is out of bounds to you. I shall treat you as a shrine, 268 00:13:19,750 --> 00:13:21,390 Leslie. I won't wear pink. 269 00:13:21,630 --> 00:13:22,680 Well, you have to. 270 00:13:22,750 --> 00:13:26,430 I won't. No, you don't. You wear whatever you like that pulls the knot. 271 00:13:26,431 --> 00:13:27,289 All right. 272 00:13:27,290 --> 00:13:28,340 A trial period. 273 00:13:30,390 --> 00:13:32,570 Oh, hello, Leslie. What are you doing here? 274 00:13:32,930 --> 00:13:35,250 I have just accepted the offer of a job. 275 00:13:35,251 --> 00:13:38,889 The one I've got to get. I'm not going to come and rescue you if you don't like 276 00:13:38,890 --> 00:13:39,940 it. I know. 277 00:13:40,110 --> 00:13:41,160 I've grown up, Mummy. 278 00:13:41,640 --> 00:13:46,019 I realise that my qualifications don't actually qualify me for anything, but a 279 00:13:46,020 --> 00:13:49,120 job I had to take, so I took this one, however poorly paid. 280 00:13:49,121 --> 00:13:52,939 Well, when I see your first pay split, we'll decide how much you can afford to 281 00:13:52,940 --> 00:13:53,739 pay at home. 282 00:13:53,740 --> 00:13:54,659 Yes, all right. 283 00:13:54,660 --> 00:13:55,710 Hello, Veronica. 284 00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:58,220 You're looking very Pierre Cardigan. 285 00:14:00,320 --> 00:14:01,620 Can I get you something? 286 00:14:02,180 --> 00:14:03,800 I'll have a gin and tonic, please. 287 00:14:03,920 --> 00:14:04,970 Right. 288 00:14:04,971 --> 00:14:09,019 Incidentally, Veronica, I've noticed now that you've started getting out again, 289 00:14:09,020 --> 00:14:11,100 you do make a beeline for here. 290 00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:20,870 You're not going to sit here drinking on your own. 291 00:14:21,060 --> 00:14:24,919 Oh, yeah, and by 11 o 'clock, I shall be sitting on that bar stool singing Ten 292 00:14:24,920 --> 00:14:25,879 Cents a Dance. 293 00:14:25,880 --> 00:14:28,620 You know what I mean. Yes, I do, and I shall be. 294 00:14:29,220 --> 00:14:30,300 I'm meeting somebody. 295 00:14:30,660 --> 00:14:33,920 Oh, anyone I know? Mr Morella's brother, Marcello. 296 00:14:34,330 --> 00:14:35,710 What's he like? I don't know. 297 00:14:36,750 --> 00:14:37,800 It's a blind date. 298 00:14:39,090 --> 00:14:42,270 Mummy! You're far too old for that sort of thing. 299 00:14:43,450 --> 00:14:46,970 That's all I need to bolster my confidence. I'm nervous enough as it is. 300 00:14:47,630 --> 00:14:49,330 You won't go anywhere, will you? 301 00:14:49,570 --> 00:14:51,490 Well, I'm not staying here all evening. 302 00:14:51,650 --> 00:14:54,590 You don't know anything about him. Oh, no, I know. 303 00:14:55,310 --> 00:14:56,360 Oh, God. 304 00:14:56,470 --> 00:14:59,270 What if he turns up with a Chico Marx hat on? 305 00:15:09,420 --> 00:15:10,940 Mrs. Bainbridge? Yes? 306 00:15:10,941 --> 00:15:12,199 Good evening. 307 00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:14,020 I'm Marcello Morello. 308 00:15:16,300 --> 00:15:17,660 This is ridiculous. 309 00:15:21,820 --> 00:15:25,620 There are so many circuits in here, it's like a bad case of varicose veins. 310 00:15:26,060 --> 00:15:27,280 The battery's gone. 311 00:15:31,120 --> 00:15:32,500 Underneath. What? 312 00:15:32,740 --> 00:15:33,790 Underneath. 313 00:15:44,910 --> 00:15:45,960 I look in, can you? 314 00:15:46,130 --> 00:15:47,730 Oh, yeah, yeah, you can, yeah. 315 00:15:50,550 --> 00:15:52,350 Fancy another cup of tea? No, thanks. 316 00:15:52,690 --> 00:15:53,740 Think I'll have one. 317 00:16:24,520 --> 00:16:26,510 Has got it. What was wrong with it, then? 318 00:16:26,720 --> 00:16:29,000 A bit of coding circuit went firing. 319 00:16:29,360 --> 00:16:30,410 Ah. 320 00:16:31,640 --> 00:16:32,690 Any tea in the pot? 321 00:16:32,820 --> 00:16:34,920 Yes. Another ten o 'clock curfew? 322 00:16:35,640 --> 00:16:38,240 Yes. You haven't got it to ten fifteen yet? 323 00:16:38,900 --> 00:16:39,950 No. 324 00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:44,310 All right. All right. What's amusing you, Jean? 325 00:16:44,700 --> 00:16:48,559 Oh, it's just the thought of you having to play by someone else's rules for a 326 00:16:48,560 --> 00:16:51,120 change. Not between seven and ten, we don't. 327 00:16:51,121 --> 00:16:54,829 Oh, you put some new batteries in. I was going to do that. 328 00:16:54,830 --> 00:16:56,570 Oh, no, no, it wasn't the batteries. 329 00:16:56,710 --> 00:17:01,130 No? What was it, then? Eric said it was the, um, coding circuit. 330 00:17:02,230 --> 00:17:03,730 Oh, the coding circuit. 331 00:17:04,010 --> 00:17:05,060 Oh, 332 00:17:05,510 --> 00:17:08,580 they're tricky little things, they are. Well done, well done. 333 00:17:09,210 --> 00:17:12,820 You're both invited to Lucia's birthday party, by the way. Oh, isn't it? 334 00:17:13,030 --> 00:17:15,680 No, no, I don't think that's a very good idea, really. 335 00:17:16,170 --> 00:17:20,050 Why? Well, we don't want to go caught in trouble, do we, Jean? 336 00:17:20,051 --> 00:17:23,719 I mean, if that... family ever finds out that you and Lucia ever do anything 337 00:17:23,720 --> 00:17:26,739 more than hold hands, there'll be a Sicilian vendetta and I don't want to be 338 00:17:26,740 --> 00:17:27,759 anywhere near it. 339 00:17:27,760 --> 00:17:31,360 It's only a birthday party, not the St Valentine's Day massacre. 340 00:17:31,680 --> 00:17:33,560 No, no, no. I don't think we ought to go. 341 00:17:34,940 --> 00:17:35,990 Wait a minute. 342 00:17:35,991 --> 00:17:37,099 No, no. 343 00:17:37,100 --> 00:17:38,150 No, we must go. 344 00:17:38,151 --> 00:17:42,199 Because if we don't turn up, they might be offended and then, or they could just 345 00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:43,800 say, oh dear, never mind. 346 00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:45,920 You take the other night at the Chinese. 347 00:17:46,350 --> 00:17:50,869 All I did was make a very mild joke about Mousy Tongue. And Mr. G knew what 348 00:17:50,870 --> 00:17:51,249 was doing. 349 00:17:51,250 --> 00:17:55,330 He was chopping up spare ribs. He didn't move. 350 00:17:56,330 --> 00:17:57,630 No, no, we'd better go. 351 00:17:58,370 --> 00:18:01,740 Only, don't let me have too much to drink. I don't want to do anything 352 00:18:01,890 --> 00:18:05,090 All you ever do when you've had a few is want to tap dance. 353 00:18:05,510 --> 00:18:06,710 Well, they might hate it. 354 00:18:06,970 --> 00:18:08,020 They'd love it. 355 00:18:08,710 --> 00:18:09,850 It would be fun. 356 00:18:11,390 --> 00:18:12,890 Veronica's coming. Veronica? 357 00:18:13,110 --> 00:18:14,910 Oh, of course you don't know, do you? 358 00:18:14,911 --> 00:18:17,699 She's had a few dates with Mr Morella's brother, Marcello. 359 00:18:17,700 --> 00:18:18,750 Ooh. 360 00:18:18,920 --> 00:18:20,260 Oh, I'm ever so glad. 361 00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:22,440 Cos she's still got a lot to give. 362 00:18:22,820 --> 00:18:23,870 Or receive. 363 00:18:24,180 --> 00:18:25,260 I think it's terrible. 364 00:18:25,261 --> 00:18:26,999 Is that a moral judgement, Eric? 365 00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:29,200 No! We work for her. 366 00:18:29,520 --> 00:18:32,820 If she does anything wrong, they could open up a second front. 367 00:18:33,340 --> 00:18:36,160 Hey, you know how paint goes up in a fire? 368 00:18:37,160 --> 00:18:38,210 What fire? 369 00:18:38,211 --> 00:18:41,479 Oh, we're talking about them burning down Bainbridges now. 370 00:18:41,480 --> 00:18:43,199 Well, stranger things have happened. 371 00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:44,450 Only in... your head, Eric. 372 00:18:46,010 --> 00:18:48,900 Eric, will you please forget about this mafia nonsense? 373 00:18:49,210 --> 00:18:50,290 I never said they were. 374 00:18:50,291 --> 00:18:52,789 I'm just trying to defend my family, that's all. 375 00:18:52,790 --> 00:18:56,870 Well, as you're so good at electronic, you can build a subocular alarm. 376 00:18:58,130 --> 00:18:59,180 Who's that? 377 00:18:59,550 --> 00:19:02,550 Well, I'll be original. I'll open the door and find out. 378 00:19:04,470 --> 00:19:08,790 This Lucia business, you will pick your way through the minefield, won't you? 379 00:19:08,950 --> 00:19:11,390 Oh, you know me, Eric. It will take its course. 380 00:19:11,610 --> 00:19:13,410 You couldn't hurry it up, could you? 381 00:19:15,010 --> 00:19:16,570 Hello. Hello, Charles. 382 00:19:17,010 --> 00:19:18,060 Hello, Charles. 383 00:19:18,190 --> 00:19:19,750 Charles has come to say goodbye. 384 00:19:20,110 --> 00:19:23,890 Yes, we've been posted to Germany. I'm on embarkation leave. 385 00:19:23,891 --> 00:19:27,609 Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Charles, we'll miss you. We don't get too many 386 00:19:27,610 --> 00:19:29,470 cavalry officers round Motspur Park. 387 00:19:29,810 --> 00:19:30,870 I'll miss you too. 388 00:19:31,150 --> 00:19:34,990 You've been very kind. You maybe feel almost like one of the chaps. 389 00:19:34,991 --> 00:19:37,229 Well, we're all the same people, aren't we? 390 00:19:37,230 --> 00:19:39,520 Will you be taking your polo ponies with you? 391 00:19:39,550 --> 00:19:40,600 Oh, yes. 392 00:19:40,601 --> 00:19:44,309 Well, how about a farewell drink? I've got some lagers in the fridge. 393 00:19:44,310 --> 00:19:47,609 That's very sweet of you, Jean, but I did just pop in to say toodaloo. 394 00:19:47,610 --> 00:19:48,529 Charles, sit down. 395 00:19:48,530 --> 00:19:49,580 Thanks very much. 396 00:19:54,630 --> 00:19:57,050 Oh, that's Eric's. Is that yours, Eric? 397 00:19:57,051 --> 00:20:02,769 Jack, I wonder if I could beg a favour. Would you mind giving this letter to 398 00:20:02,770 --> 00:20:04,210 Gloria for me? Yes, of course. 399 00:20:04,211 --> 00:20:05,609 I'll tell you what it says. 400 00:20:05,610 --> 00:20:06,930 No need to, if it's private. 401 00:20:07,330 --> 00:20:08,380 What's in it, then? 402 00:20:09,580 --> 00:20:13,679 Well, it's just to let Gloria know that I'll never forget her and I'll always 403 00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:17,319 think of her with the greatest affection and if only things had turned out 404 00:20:17,320 --> 00:20:21,360 differently and so on. What, you really love her? Yes, Jean, she has my heart. 405 00:20:21,361 --> 00:20:24,439 Charles, I think you ought to give that to her yourself. 406 00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:25,820 No, no, couldn't, couldn't. 407 00:20:26,460 --> 00:20:27,510 You know. 408 00:20:30,840 --> 00:20:33,400 One tries to play life with a straight bat. 409 00:20:34,620 --> 00:20:35,940 Gloria, the married woman. 410 00:20:36,140 --> 00:20:37,520 Charles, sit down, sit down. 411 00:20:38,100 --> 00:20:39,920 Gloria? He's going to get a divorce. 412 00:20:40,420 --> 00:20:41,470 My God. 413 00:20:41,480 --> 00:20:43,160 I'll get over there straight away. 414 00:20:43,180 --> 00:20:47,240 Don't do that, Charles, no. Because she could be, well... Washing her hair? 415 00:20:47,241 --> 00:20:48,339 Having an early night. 416 00:20:48,340 --> 00:20:49,440 No, it's no good. 417 00:20:49,960 --> 00:20:51,010 My blood's up. 418 00:20:51,011 --> 00:20:55,299 It's understandable, Charles. But when you approach Gloria, you've got to do it 419 00:20:55,300 --> 00:20:56,840 with panache. 420 00:20:57,240 --> 00:20:58,290 With style. 421 00:20:58,700 --> 00:21:00,360 You've got to be romantic. 422 00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:02,490 Super idea. 423 00:21:05,120 --> 00:21:06,170 What shall I do? 424 00:21:07,260 --> 00:21:08,310 Well, I don't know. 425 00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:10,340 Oh. They'll think of something. 426 00:21:15,060 --> 00:21:16,680 There's murder in our hills. 427 00:21:17,340 --> 00:21:18,840 What are we doing here anyway? 428 00:21:19,160 --> 00:21:20,210 You'll find out. 429 00:21:21,360 --> 00:21:22,410 Gloria. 430 00:21:24,340 --> 00:21:25,500 Tell us something. 431 00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:28,460 I want to know how to comport myself, don't I? 432 00:21:29,940 --> 00:21:30,990 Good luck, Gloria. 433 00:21:31,960 --> 00:21:33,010 With what? 434 00:21:33,680 --> 00:21:34,730 With life. 435 00:21:36,430 --> 00:21:37,930 You haven't gone all mystical. 436 00:21:39,090 --> 00:21:40,140 Where are you going? 437 00:21:47,050 --> 00:21:48,100 Oh! 438 00:21:52,750 --> 00:21:53,800 Hello, Pumpkin. 439 00:21:54,370 --> 00:21:55,420 Jos! 440 00:21:56,190 --> 00:21:57,810 I want you to be my wife. 441 00:21:58,770 --> 00:22:00,070 Oh, Josie. 442 00:22:00,750 --> 00:22:05,370 I'd love to, but me and the Royal Scots Greys will never see eye to eye. 443 00:22:05,930 --> 00:22:06,980 They won't have to. 444 00:22:07,030 --> 00:22:08,350 I'll resign my commission. 445 00:22:10,670 --> 00:22:12,960 Nobody's ever done anything like that for me. 446 00:22:13,150 --> 00:22:15,110 We'll farm in Hampshire. 447 00:22:15,910 --> 00:22:16,960 Oh, dear. 448 00:22:19,970 --> 00:22:24,390 Oh, Giles, you know I'd work down a coal mine for you if you asked me to. 449 00:22:24,870 --> 00:22:25,920 But farming? 450 00:22:26,590 --> 00:22:28,330 I'd just be a liability again. 451 00:22:28,850 --> 00:22:32,150 I mean, milking, shearing and plucking. 452 00:22:32,880 --> 00:22:34,740 Well, I ever was with the hairdresser. 453 00:22:34,780 --> 00:22:36,520 Oh, silly pumpkin. 454 00:22:37,420 --> 00:22:39,280 We won't do any actual work. 455 00:22:39,980 --> 00:22:46,179 I'll just oversee things occasionally and devote the rest of my life to making 456 00:22:46,180 --> 00:22:47,230 you happy. 457 00:22:49,100 --> 00:22:50,620 I've gone all yewdy. 458 00:22:53,340 --> 00:22:55,680 Let's ride into the sunset, Giles. 459 00:22:56,020 --> 00:22:57,340 It's only three o 'clock. 460 00:22:58,880 --> 00:23:02,140 Walk on, Trumper. 461 00:23:14,120 --> 00:23:15,800 You'll want champagne, of course. 462 00:23:15,900 --> 00:23:18,700 Actually, Leslie, we're beering it at the moment. 463 00:23:18,920 --> 00:23:20,900 Beer drinkers do nothing for me, Adam. 464 00:23:21,720 --> 00:23:23,100 Three bottles of champagne. 465 00:23:23,920 --> 00:23:26,210 You're all coming to Phantom with me, Leslie. 466 00:23:26,440 --> 00:23:28,260 I've sweated blood to get tickets. 467 00:23:28,780 --> 00:23:29,830 We'll see. 468 00:23:31,220 --> 00:23:32,600 Three bottles of champagne. 469 00:23:33,180 --> 00:23:34,380 Wonderful, wonderful. 470 00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:38,200 Listen, if they want to throw bread rolls or anything, that's fine. 471 00:23:38,560 --> 00:23:40,240 They'll do nothing of the sort. 472 00:23:40,600 --> 00:23:42,650 It's all right. You do whatever you think. 473 00:23:42,680 --> 00:23:44,940 You're a schemer when it comes to tops. 474 00:23:45,180 --> 00:23:49,099 I resent schemer. I'm simply proving that when I do a job, I do it 475 00:23:49,100 --> 00:23:51,330 wholeheartedly. It's a matter of principle. 476 00:23:51,640 --> 00:23:54,220 Incidentally, that's £126 commission so far. 477 00:23:55,820 --> 00:23:57,080 Two white wines. 478 00:23:57,740 --> 00:23:58,790 Cheeky chops. 479 00:23:58,800 --> 00:24:00,460 I haven't got cheeky chops. 480 00:24:00,780 --> 00:24:04,920 Oh, you're cheekier than you know. Shut up, you're making me spill the wine. 481 00:24:06,380 --> 00:24:09,060 Are we still going up with after the close? 482 00:24:09,300 --> 00:24:10,380 I'll close early. 483 00:24:10,600 --> 00:24:11,650 No need. 484 00:24:11,740 --> 00:24:14,160 We've got all the time in the world. 485 00:24:16,880 --> 00:24:17,930 Rockies. 486 00:24:21,080 --> 00:24:22,460 Three mixed salads. 487 00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:26,740 I'm afraid we only have vintage champagne, but you won't mind, will you? 488 00:24:27,020 --> 00:24:28,070 No. 489 00:24:28,700 --> 00:24:29,820 Make that vintage. 490 00:24:30,200 --> 00:24:31,250 Brew! Brew! 491 00:24:34,540 --> 00:24:38,939 Leslie, your mother wanted me to give you a message. She won't be home till 492 00:24:38,940 --> 00:24:39,899 late tonight. 493 00:24:39,900 --> 00:24:41,040 No need to ask why. 494 00:24:41,500 --> 00:24:44,270 I think her going out with Marcello is rather romantic. 495 00:24:44,540 --> 00:24:47,970 Well, you wouldn't if you had to get your own supper when you got home. 496 00:24:50,940 --> 00:24:53,600 So, that's the famous Lucia. 497 00:24:53,800 --> 00:24:54,850 Must be. 498 00:24:55,760 --> 00:24:57,380 Right, what can I get you, Lucia? 499 00:24:57,760 --> 00:24:59,020 Vodka and orange, please. 500 00:24:59,560 --> 00:25:00,610 It's odourless. 501 00:25:00,940 --> 00:25:01,990 Good thinking. 502 00:25:02,080 --> 00:25:04,120 Two vodka and oranges, please, Paulette. 503 00:25:04,220 --> 00:25:05,270 To be announced. 504 00:25:08,360 --> 00:25:09,410 Very pretty. 505 00:25:09,480 --> 00:25:10,530 Yes, he is. 506 00:25:10,840 --> 00:25:15,040 It's a shame that so many Latin women have that tendency, though. What 507 00:25:15,580 --> 00:25:18,540 Well, they do tend to balloon very early in life. 508 00:25:18,740 --> 00:25:19,820 Yes, I suppose they do. 509 00:25:21,400 --> 00:25:22,640 She's got lovely hair. 510 00:25:22,641 --> 00:25:23,979 Very thick. 511 00:25:23,980 --> 00:25:26,750 Yes. With the right conditioner, it could be even nicer. 512 00:25:27,320 --> 00:25:29,790 Do you ever notice he finds her very attractive? 513 00:25:30,620 --> 00:25:31,670 Obviously, yes. 514 00:25:33,620 --> 00:25:34,670 Good night, Leslie. 515 00:25:34,700 --> 00:25:35,750 Good night, Sandra. 516 00:25:36,881 --> 00:25:38,749 Can't stop. 517 00:25:38,750 --> 00:25:40,170 Hello. Yes. Who's that? 518 00:25:40,470 --> 00:25:41,520 My bank manager. 519 00:25:42,090 --> 00:25:43,570 Hello. Hello. 520 00:25:44,910 --> 00:25:46,590 Paulette calls me Rocky. 521 00:25:46,781 --> 00:25:48,869 Does she? 522 00:25:48,870 --> 00:25:52,890 She's a beautiful girl, got a beautiful nature, and she likes me. 523 00:25:53,170 --> 00:25:54,910 Oh, Wilma, you've gone all gooey. 524 00:25:55,150 --> 00:25:59,550 I can't help it. You see, she just likes me for meself and not for my money. 525 00:25:59,950 --> 00:26:01,000 You sure about that? 526 00:26:01,190 --> 00:26:02,910 Oh, yes, she told me. 527 00:26:11,560 --> 00:26:12,610 Fix that up as well. 528 00:26:12,780 --> 00:26:14,640 No, I think someone else fixed that up. 529 00:26:14,940 --> 00:26:20,279 I just wondered, because your sister -in -law and her officer and Uncle Marcello 530 00:26:20,280 --> 00:26:23,920 and Mrs Bainbridge, you seem to be doing romantic things lately. 531 00:26:24,280 --> 00:26:26,450 Yeah, I know. And I'm not even on commission. 532 00:26:26,840 --> 00:26:28,820 Would you do something romantic for me? 533 00:26:28,821 --> 00:26:32,699 Well, I would do, Lucia, but I've got to get you home in 18 and a half minutes. 534 00:26:32,700 --> 00:26:34,540 No, at my party tomorrow. 535 00:26:35,040 --> 00:26:36,120 Yeah, of course I will. 536 00:26:36,580 --> 00:26:41,029 No. It's a stupid, silly, old -fashioned idea. Forget it. Oh, come on. What is 537 00:26:41,030 --> 00:26:43,130 this stupid, silly, old -fashioned idea? 538 00:26:43,530 --> 00:26:44,870 Oh, I'm embarrassed now. 539 00:26:46,090 --> 00:26:50,669 I keep saying I just want to be an ordinary English girl, but come a 540 00:26:50,670 --> 00:26:53,590 and I was going to ask you to do this old Sicilian captain. 541 00:26:53,591 --> 00:26:57,189 It's not singing, is it? Because with all the tenors in your house, well, the 542 00:26:57,190 --> 00:26:58,510 competition's a bit stiff. 543 00:26:58,550 --> 00:27:00,230 No, it's something with a flower. 544 00:27:00,570 --> 00:27:01,690 No real significance. 545 00:27:01,990 --> 00:27:05,830 It's just that, well, in the old way, it would be honouring me. 546 00:27:06,600 --> 00:27:08,400 And therefore honouring the family. 547 00:27:08,401 --> 00:27:10,259 All right, I'll do it. Have you seen enough? 548 00:27:10,260 --> 00:27:12,939 No, I don't mind, as long as I don't have to fly out to Sicily, climb a 549 00:27:12,940 --> 00:27:16,239 mountain, pick the flower up and fly all the way back before your birthday. 550 00:27:16,240 --> 00:27:18,780 Now, a rose is a flower you do it with. 551 00:27:19,360 --> 00:27:22,580 It just involves a few simple traditional gestures. 552 00:27:23,180 --> 00:27:25,710 Right, I'll get a flower and we'll have a practice. 553 00:27:25,840 --> 00:27:28,250 Here, Elmo, you haven't got a flower, have you? 554 00:27:28,620 --> 00:27:30,120 I'm looking at her, Jack. 555 00:27:54,640 --> 00:27:58,639 Just a moment everybody, if I could have your attention just for a moment 556 00:27:58,640 --> 00:27:59,690 please. 557 00:29:13,301 --> 00:29:15,399 I'm done. 558 00:29:15,400 --> 00:29:19,950 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 41801

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