All language subtitles for Brush Strokes s04e01.eng

All thanks to you, these things I do,

because of you,

because of you.

I've never been to a cremation before.

Have you?

No. I wonder what they do.

Well, they burn them, don't they?

Well, I prefer to be buried myself.

You know where you are, then.

Well, other people would at least.

Ta -da!

Anything in the pot?

Well, I expect you're wondering where
I've been.

The thought had crossed our minds. For
the last six weeks.

Did you find Julie or not?

Yes, but it didn't work out. So I went
to... I went to Cairo.

What are you doing in black?

We're going to a funeral.

Yes. Come on, or we'll be late.

Whose funeral?

Lionel's.

How are you?

Bainbridge is no more.

I, the salamander general of his lodge
by his express mandate, am going to say

few words about him. Very few words.

It would take more than a few words to
say what Lionel Bainbridge was.

He was a man for all seasons.

To his wife, Veronica, he was a loving,
devoted, ever cheerful companion.

Leslie, he was almost a magical figure.
Wise, kind, but firm.

Someone she could model herself on.

Who his workmate, and I use the word
mate deliberately, for Lionel never set

himself above others.

A pickwickian figure to whom they could
always turn in moments of trouble. Door

ever open for a quiet chat.

I don't know if any employee of Lionel's
ever left his office without feeling

warmed and cured.

The circles his pebble made in the
waters of life reached out even to the

families of his employees.

You know, I believe they may have called
him Uncle Lionel.

Dr. Park has lost one of her favorite
sons.

will mourn his passing.

And may I will end this little tribute
to Lionel by quoting a saying we have at

the lodge.

He is gone, but he isn't.

He left us, but he didn't.

He'd have come back, but he couldn't.

And finally, and this was an express
wish of Lionel's, Confided to me over a

martini... over a... I'm so cheery.

Will you please join me in a song that
was very dear to our land?

When father painted the pie You couldn't
see

father paint Slapping his tears,
slapping...

Hello, Veronica.

Hello, Jack. Hello.

I am very sorry.

Thank you.

You'll come back to the house, won't
you?

Yeah. Yeah, I'd like to.

Excuse

me,

sir. Yeah? I don't wish to seem
indelicate, but were you singing when

Piper'd the parlour in there?

Yeah.

Adagio Funeroso.

What was that?

He was a painter.

Oh, very apt.

I don't want him to in our go.

Well, I could have.

Happy days are here again.

Yeah, just making some coffee. Do you
want one? I'd love one.

Gordon, you couldn't have known about
all this.

No, well, I only got back today.

Where have you been all this time?

Cairo. What were you doing in Cairo?

Oh, it's a long story.

I'll tell you about it one day.

I thought the ceremony went off very
nicely.

Well, it went off.

I thought the Salamander General's
little tribute was very... was very...

Inventive?

Yeah, it was a bit, wasn't it?

Let's face it, he wasn't describing the
Lionel we all knew, was he? I thought

I'd come to the wrong place for a
moment.

Still, who'd want someone to get up at a
time like that and tell the truth about

you? Well, I certainly wouldn't.

How did he... Die?

Yeah.

At the lodge?

Hart? No, beer, I suspect.

They were doing one of their so -called
ceremonies, apparently.

Not the one on the window ledge.

You got it.

Lost his balance.

He didn't have his trousers round his
ankles, did he?

Yes.

I have to say, it wasn't the most
dignified way to go, was it?

But Lionel and Dignity never really
walked arm in arm.

Of course, they had to have an inquest.

Oh, well, that's probably because of the
slightly unusual circumstances,

presumably.

I did feel a fool in that coroner's
court.

I mean, it was my husband.

And there they were, asking questions
about what he was doing on the window

ledge in the first place, why his
trousers were round his ankles, why he

clutching a tin tray.

Oh, they banged themselves on the head
with that. Yeah, that emerged.

Of course, the whole thing was made more
ridiculous by the...

salamander general having to answer
certain questions.

Well, didn't he claim diplomatic
immunity?

Something like that, yeah.

Till they threatened him with prison.

They should have threatened to burn him.
He'd have been all right then. What

with being a salamander and all that.

I mean, not a fool.

Have the police insisted that they
install a permanent safety net?

No, they've reached a compromise.

They can still do the window ledge
thing, but it has to be from the ground

floor.

So if anybody comes a cropper, they fall
straight into the daffodils, eh?

I don't know.

Lionel would have to go like that,
wouldn't he?

Perhaps he would have wanted it, eh?

I've got a horrible feeling he would.

Anyway, better get this in.

Yeah.

We want to talk to you.

I'll see you later. Where are you going?

Runnymede.

All right. Where is he?

He's gone to Runnymede.

Don't you dare try to creep up those
stairs.

I was not trying to creep up any stairs.

Any tea in the pot?

No. Right.

We've waited up for you.

But why don't you just adopt me and be
done with it?

Oh, I could slap you round the ear up
sometime.

Oh, that's a lovely welcome home, that
is.

All right, why all the hostility?

Well, let me refresh your memory, in
case you've forgotten.

Six weeks ago... Six weeks?

You tore off, saying the only thing you
wanted out of life was Julie. And we

haven't heard a blind word from you
since.

So what happened?

You found her, right?

Yes, but she's married.

Oh, dear, that's bad luck. I'm sorry,
Jacko.

Thank you, Eric.

Yes, well, I'm sorry too.

Thank you, James.

How come Julie was living in Cairo? She
wasn't. She lives on the Isle of Wight.

So how come Cairo?

Well, I just sort of ended up there,
really.

You don't just sort of end up in Cairo.

No, look, after I left Julie, I felt a
bit down, obviously.

She's happy enough, and I wasn't exactly
turned down. Didn't feel like coming

home, so I went on a Mediterranean
cruise.

Oh, the logical thing to do, obviously.

Thanks for phoning to let us know.

Well, it was all a bit of a rusty.

So, you cruised to Cairo? No, portside,
actually, but there was this excursion

to Cairo, and I thought it might be a
good idea.

Better than finding a telephone.

Hey, did you see the Sphinx?

No. I met one, though.

Very enigmatic smile she had.

I sure her name was.

Here we go.

Was she descended in a direct line from
Nefertiti?

No. She nicked all me credit cards.

Here I was, miles away from anywhere and
penniless. So I took this job in a

nightclub. Doing the cabaret,
presumably.

No. Hey, did they have any, you know...

Jean, you know I'm interested in
folklore.

Oh, that's what they call it, is it?

About this nightclub, it must have had
several phones where a person could

from. Yes, but Egyptian telecom is only
slightly in advance of British telecom.

He doesn't say any more.

So how do you get home? Hire an Arab
dhow.

You're as daft as he is.

Well, I must say, your welcome has cut
me to the quick.

Good night, Eric.

You wait till you see Sandra. She'll
probably cut your throat.

May

I

have that back, please?

Oh, for goodness' sake, Sandra, I've
explained where I've been. I've told you

what's happened.

Aren't you just the teeniest bit pleased
to see me?

I'm glad you're not dead.

That's as far as I'll go.

How can I be lost at sea?

You were lost at sea.

Six weeks I've been trying to keep this
place going.

You try running a painter's and
decorator's with nobody to do the

decorating.

It's like running a library with no
books.

Putting off people here, putting off
people there.

Well, no firm can do anything the very
next day.

No, but they can at least give a hint
when.

What was I to say?

He's disappeared off the face of the
earth and I don't know when he's coming

back. Well, you knew I'd be back.

Did I?

Where would I glean that information
from?

Some of the language I've had to put up
with.

Anybody talks to you like that, Sandra,
we don't work for them.

We don't work for anybody anymore.

You owe Jimmy an apology as well.

Who, your bloke?

What have I done to him?

Ruined his evening.

Oh, you didn't work evenings as well.
No, I did not.

must have felt as though he was going
out with a log of wood.

You've always been very stimulating
company, Sandra.

When I can keep me eyes open, yes.

I've been whacked after a day in this
place.

Well, I wouldn't have minded if you'd
taken on temporary staff.

And what would I have paid them with?
The buttons off me blouse?

You haven't been paid either, have you?

You're quick.

I'll make it up to you, Sandra, with a
big fat bonus.

From what? From the business.

What business?

You're finished.

Blosh has...

Good morning, Splosh.

Well, yes, I'm terribly... This
company's name is either Mud or a

Stock. And I'm giving you two weeks'
notice.

Oh, come on, Sandra, don't be hasty,
please.

I've had six weeks to think about it.

I've got my own life to live.

I'm supposed to be saving up to get
married.

I need a steady job with a steady income
and a steady boss.

I'd like to be Sandra, but I think I'd
die boredom.

Thanks for hanging on as long as you
did.

We're me.

I wouldn't have done it for anybody
else.

Where are you going?

Lunch. I haven't had one for six weeks.

You have a go.

Good morning.

Well, that's very intemperate language.

Hold on.

I've painted it myself now, so stick
that up your pipe.

Thank you.

Hello?

Hello?

Hello, Lidley.

Hello, Charles.

Hello, Jacko. Well, what can I do you
for?

Me? Nothing. It's Giles who wants to see
you. Oh, well, sit yourselves down.

Yes. Well, the thing is, I feel
peculiar.

Something you hate?

No. Awkward is a better word.

In the army, you see, one generally
expresses oneself by one's pips and

But when one's in mufti, the other
chap... Well, he's another chap.

And it's not a straight road, you see.

Well, I understand what you mean,
Charles.

Do you?

I haven't got a faintest idea what
you're talking about.

Ah.

Hmm.

Giles is deeply concerned about his
investment in your company.

Oh. Not deeply concerned, Leslie.

Just a touch worried.

You said deeply concerned to me.

Did I?

Look, I can understand that you were
concerned, Giles. Deeply. Deeply

And I do admit that the company's had a
few minor problems of late. Like, you

know, being here for six weeks? Yes, and
I admit that the company's name,

Splosh, has got a bit mud -spattered
lately.

But I do intend to put this company
right back on its feet by changing its

to something like, um, Dollop, and
launching a whole new advertising

Super! And how will you fund it?

With your money!

Oh.

I've blown it, haven't I?

I wouldn't say that.

Yes, you would.

I'll tell you what I'll do, Giles.

I'll sell the whole shebang and I'll
give you all your money back.

Go on.

Oh, this is awful.

It's like court -martialing somebody.

Well, as long as you don't rip the
buckles off me dungarees.

Thanks for everything, Giles. No hard
feelings.

You've been a brick.

One is brought up to be a brick, but
it's awfully nice to be called one.

Charles,

do you mind if I have a quick word with
Leslie, please?

Oh, yes, of course.

I'll just go and count some railings.

I know what you're going to say.

Right, so we'll take the swear words as
read then, shall we? Now, why did you

put Charles up to it, Leslie?

Spike? And there's me thinking that you
and I are going through one of our less

hostile phases.

Nothing personal.

I just wanted to put you out of
business.

Oh, that's all right, then.

Daddy's company is all I've got.

It's all Mummy's got.

No, it's all you've got, Leslie, yes.

Well, it's one less competitor.

I have to think of my financial security
now.

Well, I don't see how that applies. Not
when you're being subsidised by Giles,

who owns half of Hampshire.

Yes, well, that might not be permanent.

I thought you and him were going to get
married.

He's very sweet.

But there's not a lot of steel there.

You should marry a line tamer.

I might not marry anybody.

And if I don't, who's going to look
after me with Daddy gone?

Well, who's going to look after me with
my business gone, eh?

Oh, you'll be all right. You'll bounce
back.

You're a survivor.

Well, I have to be with people like you
around, Leslie.

I'm sorry.

You know those little insects on the top
of ponds?

Waterboatmen. Yeah.

They're like us, really, aren't they?

We flit about a lot and never really
penetrate the surface.

In another life, we could have been made
for each other.

Well, not necessarily, Leslie.

I could have been a girl.

I don't know how you can do it.

Do what?

I don't know how you can just lie there
like that.

Well, it's easy. You pick your feet off
the floor and you swing them off the end

of the chair.

Her father sleeps.

I was just saying, Eric.

I don't know how he can just lie there
like that.

You should be worrying yourself sick.

You going to come out of this with
anything left over?

Oh, yeah. Mind you, I've got to bring
Sandra's wages up to date and give her a

big fat bonus.

I haven't forgotten that I still owe
rent here.

I never mentioned rent.

No? Well, what was it, the first word
you put on the board when we were

Scrabble this morning?

Oh, don't make me feel rotten.

Who will you end up with, Jacko?

I'll have this part of the tidy few,
Bob.

And you're just sitting there reading
about Charlton Athletic?

I'm not, as a matter of fact.

I moved on to Steve Davis.

You know, I sometimes wonder whether you
and I are of the same flesh and blood.

I just don't know what makes you tick.

No, Jean.

See, his attitude derives from a simple
difference in gender.

You see, a man faced with a crisis very
often adopts her.

A devil -may -care attitude.

I know I do.

One payment we missed on the television
and you had stomachache for three days.

That's because I ate some of the kids'
Play -Doh.

I thought it was marzipan.

Oh, by the way, I forgot.

These came for you, too.

You were cordially invited to a
champagne buffet at the Chanticleer

403, 8pm Friday.

But I... Well, it doesn't say.

Well, a champagne buffet, eh?

Well, I'll have some of that. Yeah, so
will I.

You're not going.

Why not?

Because we can't afford it.

Where does it say we pay?

Oh, use your nod, Eric, do.

It's obvious what it is.

They're after your money.

It'll be a glass of sparkling wine, a
sausage on a stick, and give us 100 quid

for a signed print by some unknown
artist.

Special offer.

Only 50 million copies available.

You're getting very cynical in your old
age, Jean.

Well, what else could it be?

Well, it could be some Arab sheik
wanting a couple of blokes to paint his

eh? No, it's either selling or some sort
of promotion.

What promotion?

A lot of so -called models wearing
little more than a sash pushing some new

product.

Still, it's not as if we're doing
anything on Friday.

You will be.

What?

Well, I don't know yet.

Well, it looks like I'll have to go for
the both of us, Eric.

Oh, that typical you, that is.

You should be thinking about where you
go from rock bottom, not going off on

some magical mystery tour.

Who dares win, Jean?

That's the SAS.

How do you know I'm not in it?

No women.

Excuse me.

Are you headed for suite 403?

Why? What's happening in suite 403?

Well, I don't know till we get there.

How crew can you get?

Well, how crew do you want me to be?

Champagne. And some, um, some of them
things.

Well, what do you think? Not bad for a
temporary gaffe, is it?

What have you done, Wonderballs?

No, I made it big down under.

Oh, you actually went to Australia then?

Yeah, well, I bought the beach bar,
hadn't I?

Incidentally, you want to brush up on
your geography.

Ali Springs is not on the coast.

Isn't it?

No. No, miles from anywhere it is.
Bloody desert as far as the eye can see.

So how come all this affluence then? A
lot of passing trade?

Trade? I only had two customers in a
week. One was in a tempering society and

all the other one wanted was a drink of
water for his camel.

So what did you do, rob a stagecoach?
No, I sold up at a loss.

I'm no fool.

I pitched a lift to Wongabara.

Where's that?

God knows.

Um... Have some caviar. Oh, sure.

Oh, there's caviar.

But what did you think was caviar?

Oh, these.

No, well, no, they're quail's eggs.

I thought they were a bit big for a fish
to eat.

Look, come on, come on. So you went to
Wanda Ross's name, right?

You've sold the bar in the desert and
you don't know where you are. Right.

So I end up in his pub.

Having a drink with this bloke called
Mad Jack Halloran. What made him mad,

Elmo? People not believing him, mate.

I'm no fool, I did.

Became partners that same night.

So what did you become partners in?

Gold prospecting. Ah, right, so Elmo
Putney and Mad Jack Halloran set off in

search of gold.

No, no, there were four of them.

He had his mule and I, of course, had my
dog.

Right, so this highly scientific
expedition actually found gold?

Not a sniff of it. We found opals
instead.

Opals? Yeah, it's sort of shiny jewel
with all kind of coloured flexes. I know

what an opal is, Elmo.

How did you find them? The dog did.

He went off to do his doings, come back
with an opal in his mouth.

They're very close to the surface, you
see.

If it's that easy, Elmo, I don't know
what all the fuss is about.

Well, neither do I.

So here you are, then.

Largest life and opal rich. Yeah.

I know some people around here used to
think I was tough and short of a

shilling, but I've obviously got a
brilliant business mind, haven't I?

Well, having a dog that can find opals,
Elmo, you must have.

Anyway, where is the pooch with the
magic touch?

Is he in quarantine? No, he's stayed on.

He married a dingo.

So what are you doing now? You on a
world cruise?

No, I've come back for good.

Got homesick.

Missed the rain.

Missed the cultural life of London.

Missed a decent warm beer. And what's
more, I'll miss me mates.

You're talking a witch, where's Eric?

Oh, he couldn't make it, Elmo. He's in
detention.

What's he done?

He rubbed Jean up the wrong way.

So what are you going to do now? Get
yourself another dog and go prospecting

diamonds in Hyde Park?

No, no. No dog could replace Derek.

For me, how have you been, Jack?

How's business? How's splosh? How's
splosh, Elmo?

Well, that's slowly sinking into the
west.

I've got to sell the business.

Oh, dear.

Well, I haven't got your business
acumen, you see.

No, no.

Hang about. Hang about.

It's happening to me again.

What is?

I'm sparking.

You're not plugged into anything, are
you?

No ideas.

Look, I buy Splosh and you can run it
for me. Of course, we'd have to change

name to something like, I don't know,
Elmo Putney's Painting Firm.

It's catchy.

I'll top any offer you've got. Pay
terrific wages.

Me work for you?

Yeah. I'll tell you what, Elmo, let me
think about it, eh?

Yeah, of course.

Do you know, there's a tip there is
that's in business.

Never rush into things.

I'll remember that.

Well, so long, old friend.

Going? We've got all that lot to get
through.

What, just the two of us?

Well, I did send out 50 invitations, but
you're the only one that turned up. Oh,

don't go, Jacko.

No. Of course not, Elmo.

Come on, let's get in.

Right.

They hardly can have a get now.

I like you on the camera!

Because of you.

Because of you.

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