Original subtitles

Sometimes I said, yeah, feeling alone.

No one to talk to. I got no telephone.

Mr. Blake?

No, I'm Stephen Olwen, the estate manager. Mr. Blake's over there.

This way, Sergeant.

This way.

I missed you at breakfast.

I'm due at the show.

Show, sir?

It's our annual county fair, Sergeant.

It's always held here.

Very public -spirited of you, sir? Well, one of my mother's stipulations, I'm

afraid. She got very senile towards the end. Still, the peasants seem to enjoy

it.

As them that give their right arm for only size.

Veggies all sorted, then?

Well, give us a chance, mate. We've only just got here.

Well, some of us have been here since dawn.

Well, I'm on duty all night, remember?

Meanwhile, you're safely tucked up in bed. I'm kipping in a stable.

Harry, I think there's going to be a fight.

I'll go. No, no.

You're on the dog show in half an hour. You've got to check the list of

entrants. No, I'll deal with it. Come on.

This lady gave you a £10 note. Well, I don't think so, darling. Excuse me,

excuse me.

Security. You know what seems to be the problem?

Who might you be?

Harry Crawford, head of security.

Oh, good. Well, then arrest this horrible little man.

No, I can't do that. You might explain it, please. Then get out of the way and

I'll talk about it. No, you'll do no such thing.

Oh, and who's going to stop me? Me and my staff.

Ha! Listen to this, everyone.

Mr. Lawford here is going to send for reinforcements. If I have to, and it's

Crawford. She gave him a £10 note. He gave her a change of five, and she's got

two kitties. So what do you say?

It was a fiver.

It was not.

Look, look, just a minute. Now then.

Here.

There.

Sorry, it has to come from him.

All right.

You give her a fiver, and I'll give it you back. All right?

Do you mind?

Oh, you know you. Thank you.

Ah.

That was kind of you.

Foolish, but kind.

Are you all right, darling?

Good day, Mr. Lawford.

Excuse me, madam.

Excuse me. Are you going to give up for me?

No, no. I just want to make sure there's not going to be a repeat performance,

that's all.

It's my job, I'm afraid.

Of course.

Good.

You really told him, though.

Mr. Crawford, I have a suggestion.

Why don't I buy you a hop -down by way of apology?

Oh, no, thank you. I really should get on. Did no one ever tell you, never

refuse a lady?

I'm sorry, but... There are 23 or 24 other stalls at this fair, Mr. Crawford.

I could keep you very busy all day.

Very nice.

It's unique.

Which means to a collector that it's priceless.

It means to a policeman that it's easy to trace.

It was an amateur break -in.

Almost certainly local.

We'll have him in the first place. He tries to flog it.

And what if he doesn't flog it?

You mean a rival collector?

If whoever took it knew anything at all about porcelain, he'd have taken the

pair. One's no use without the other, however nice it is.

So if it's not love and it's not money, what do you think's the motive, Mr

Blake? I think somebody's playing games.

Look, it is Crawford Boone security.

I mean, we're supposed to be in equal partnership, share the workload.

Carl Tomlinson.

Labrador. But I thought that's what you were doing.

Yeah, except I'm stood here doing this while he's swanning around like Lord of

the Manor.

Hayley Chadburn.

Marcus Samuel.

I thought that was the way you liked her, Ken. I mean, I can't imagine you

putting on a suit every day and doing the entertaining.

Don't you ever wish you could have a change?

That's not a Cocker Spaniel. It says here.

You know me, Ken. If I want something, I go for it. It's King Charles.

Cockers are bigger.

Maybe he's not well.

Well, if he wants to be a Cocker Spaniel for the day, play it.

We can all have ambitions every day, Ken.

Who's their top man?

Harry Crawford's here himself.

It's all going very smoothly, Donald. There's nothing to worry about.

Oh, I'm not worried about that scrubby little show, Stephen.

I'm thinking of hiring CBS myself.

Your figurine.

I thought the police were sorting it out.

One broken window and a disabled alarm system are after every burglar in the

Midlands. Morning. Morning. Morning. I wish you'd keep them indoors.

Now, I think the truth is a little closer to home.

Get Crawford, Stephen.

I need somebody who'll do what he's told.

I didn't know county shows had their own security.

There's a lot of valuable machinery here.

And we might be needed to deal with any eventuality.

Like me.

And, uh... What else does CBS do besides dealing so nicely with eventualities?

Anything connected with security.

Actually, I mean... And investigations.

Investigations?

Yeah, I mean, that's a satisfaction, actually, but, well, yes, we do.

Well... Oh, be still, my beating heart.

Pardon? Detectives.

I mean, Sam Spade, Lou Harper, all of them.

I think they're incredibly sexy, don't you?

Oh, I never really thought about it.

They are, yes.

I mean, it's my one weakness. Look, I got these here today.

But I never thought I'd meet a real live dick.

Harry Crawford.

Private eye.

So this is where you're hiding.

I was beginning to think you'd left me.

I've been busy.

You've been busy rather a lot lately.

You know we're fully booked. It's that time of year.

Well, it makes a change from the time of the month, I suppose.

You know, if I didn't know you any better...

I'd say you were having an affair.

Donald.

Donald, don't. Donald, will you leave me alone?

Sorry.

He's a private quarters.

No, it's all right, Buster. What is it?

Well, the remote control for my video. It doesn't seem to be working.

Well, I'd send someone to have a look.

Thank you.

Saved by the Jerrys. I wish you wouldn't call them that.

Sorry. Sorry.

Pain gets.

You've got an empty room?

I'm not expecting anyone.

Well, you are now.

Then there was a case of the missing doctor.

Ken went for a check -up. Ken?

Ken. Ken Boone.

Well, he's a sort of colleague, you know.

Oh, my goodness.

Is that the time?

Oh, I hopped out for an hour, and that was over three hours ago.

You will come again, won't you?

Tomorrow, maybe.

Stranger things have happened.

Ah, Harry, there you are. Stephen.

Mr Blake, I'd like a quiet word.

What, I put them on her? Yes, if you can spare the time, of course. Oh, no

problem, no problem.

Am I, er... You'll do fine.

Oh, hang on.

Bye, Stephen, away, Stephen, away, away.

Something of an obsession, I'm afraid, Mr Crawford.

Place where everything, everything in its place.

Very impressive.

Not any more.

I take it you are insured.

Hardly the point.

Check.

Couldn't possibly merit the same point of play from my collection.

Oh.

Don't say that now.

You want it back, of course.

I want the person who took it.

And I think they're still here.

An inside job?

Someone who doesn't like me.

Well, you've certainly got a lot of people to choose from.

No, I mean, there's a lot of people here. I mean, well, there's all your

for a start.

The Jerrys.

Geriatric, Mr Crawford.

This is a health farm for the elderly. Most of them can't make the stairs.

Well, one must consider every possibility, Mr Blake.

This one must indeed.

I'd want you a better man. I'd want him on the inside.

Oh, no problem at all, Donald.

Undercover work is our speciality. And discretion, I hope.

Certainly.

Because I have two prized possessions. My collection and my wife.

And I have no intention of sharing either.

And the fireworks on Friday night? It's all sorted.

Perfect timing.

Harry, this is my wife, Rebecca Harry Crawford.

Oh, very pleased to meet you. Harry and I are doing a little business together.

Business? A sneak thief. Harry's going undercover as one of the... Jerry's.

Rebecca, can I have some more... Don't worry, it's only the half -keeper.

Mr Crawford, this is my mother.

Mary.

You think she's seen somebody else?

And he wants us to find out who?

Er, not exactly, no. What, then? Well, he wants me to do it. You?

Well, don't say it like that.

Well, I do the investigating, Harry.

I know you do, Ken, I know you do.

But he's got some fool idea in his head that I'm a detective.

You? You doing it again?

What? Saying you, in that tone of voice.

Come on, Harry, the closest you're ever going to get to being a detective is

looking up numbers in the phone book.

That's not true.

They help you with your cases.

When?

Look!

You're the one who said they're fed up round here of doing me and your work.

Well, now's your chance. To do what?

To take the reins, to be the man in charge.

Take a look. It's all written down.

The time the events are supposed to start, the competitors' names, and

you'll have Alex with you.

What about Rocky?

Well, I'm taking him with me.

What for?

Well, he'll always take him with you.

Donald's taking him on as an extra groundsman. He could be my man on the

outside. Oh, come on, Ken, it'll do you good.

See how the other half live.

Yeah, all right. I can do with a rest.

In your pocket.

What? The pills.

Put them in your pocket.

Why? Oh.

You don't know what's in them, do you?

Vitamins, aren't they?

That's what they tell you.

Me?

I'm not taking any chances.

What else could there be?

Bromide. What?

They don't like gas, you know.

Get them together.

like the Pied Piper.

They're just sort of following me around all the time.

Well, do they know what they're doing?

How the hell do I know?

Right.

Hurry. Main gate.

Paul and Simon, practice and farm equipment.

Billy, livestock.

Neil, general patrol.

Lenny, over to you.

Cheers. But I haven't got time for a steam bath, Mary.

I'm supposed to be meeting Rocky half past.

You'll be out by then.

Besides, all the guests have to have one.

Harry, you don't want to blow your cover.

I thought I was blending in very nicely.

Of course you are.

For a man who looks 20 years too young to be here.

I don't want it too hot.

Oh, look at this for a guy. I'm a soldier.

Maybe he's enjoying himself.

Oh, my God.

Harry?

Harry!

You're in out of your depth, mate. You could have been seriously hurt.

I'm all right.

How do you manage to get this party to such a mess? It wasn't easy. Now, don't

change the subject, Harry. I can cope.

Well, what are you doing?

Mate, that's you.

And you've been questioning anybody?

No, no.

I was just going to start.

I've had a very nasty experience, Cass. I know, I know. Well, whoever it was

must know what you're doing up there.

Well, nobody knows.

I'm undercover.

Donald knows.

And there's always Stephen.

Even Mary and Rebecca.

I mean, they know you're investigating the robbery.

Any one of them could have let something slip.

So, do you need any help?

No, no, no, no.

No, unless you're fed up here, of course.

No, no, no, no.

I suppose Alex could manage this, really.

What is it you want, Harry?

Look, I'm all right up at the manor.

But maybe if there was some experienced bloke poking about on the outside.

You're right, Kent. The cover's blown.

We need somebody that nobody knows.

You mean you want me to do all the work and you get all the credit?

Well, if you don't want to help... It's that Mary, isn't it, eh?

You trying to impress her?

Never met anybody like her again.

Well, I don't doubt that, mate. But what's she going to say when she finds

you're spying on our daughter?

Rebecca? Sorry, no.

Is she at the show?

No.

Afternoon.

Who are you?

Security.

Oh, yeah, I was just taking a few snapshots to show the kids when I get

The architecture, you know.

Oh, yeah?

Well, what's this then?

Your kids into security cameras, are they?

So you don't know anything about an antique figurine? No, antiques was never

game. But there's a video in every room.

Video? Yeah, easy to shift.

Twenty -three of them in there, there is.

Well, how are you planning to get them out? In a wheelbarrow?

I haven't got that far yet. I'm still working out how to get in.

You're staying here?

You're already in?

Yeah, but what about my professional pride?

This is meant to be my comeback.

Really? Yeah, well...

I retired in 1977, but I've still got it all up there.

And I ask you, what self -respecting cat burglar walking through the front door

using his own key?

I'll be a laughingstock.

Here, you better have this back. I forget I ever saw it.

So, what's the catch?

The catch is, my friend, I want you to do a little job for me.

Rebecca was just a child, you see, so I had to get on with it.

It must have been a struggle for you.

Yes. But we managed.

I came over here and Donald's mother gave us a job.

She was a lovely woman.

You know, she treated Rebecca like she was one of her own.

And what about you, Harry?

Is there a Mrs Crawford?

Divorced.

Oh, I'm sorry.

No, don't be. It was a long time ago.

Has there been anything?

No. No, not really.

You really surprised me.

Well, there have been times when I thought there was, but... Well, it never

really worked out.

Are you cold?

No, I'm fine.

I'm sorry.

I'm out of practice.

Thank you.

You can kiss me if you like.

I... Harry, I've told you.

Never refuse a lady.

Did you sleep well?

Fine.

Came to your room.

Was it luck?

I thought it best.

Until the intruder's been caught.

What is it?

Donald?

Here we are. Breakfast is served.

How about that?

Where do you nick all this? Oh, Kenneth, that's a very hurtful thing to say.

That new groundsman.

So how did you get on?

Oh, by taking candy from the baby.

You got in all right, then?

No problem.

And? Ah, you were right.

Whoever the thief is, they had a set of keys.

But I don't understand.

They're offering to sell you back in our property.

So, Clem?

Well, you've got to admire their cheek.

Well, give them that.

Well, it's not cheeky common sense.

It's worth more to me than anyone else. I'm the most obvious buyer.

I mean, this is worth nothing on its own.

Oh, I see.

So what do you do?

Pay them?

No.

See, it's been soiled, Harry.

Someone else has held it, caressed it, enjoyed its beauty.

How much did that happen?

Worthless. So, do you want to stop the investigation, darling?

No, on the contrary. I want you to pull out all the stops now more than ever. I

want a name.

Absolutely. I'll get on with it right away.

You do that.

And I want a written report every evening on both the matters we

Why don't you stay with him, then?

She's young.

Housekeeper's daughter.

Oh, Harry.

You can't blame her for not wanting to give up all this.

And then there's her work.

With the old foal.

That's another thing.

A health farm for the elderly.

Hardly fits in with Donald's image, does it?

He has no choice in the matter.

It was in his mother's will.

Like having the fair here.

Oh,

she knew Donald.

He gets right down the manor handy, you see.

As long as it still operates as a health form.

His latest little brainwave is to contest the will by questioning his

sanity at the time it was written.

What a charmer.

Is that all right?

Do you know, he even hired a detective once to watch Rebecca.

He treats her like she's part of that damn collection of his.

Something pretty to look at that won't answer back.

I'd wish I'd realised what he was like before I took the case on.

I'm glad you didn't.

What?

Well if you did you might not be here now.

I'll talk to you later Alex.

Not here.

Tonight, nine o 'clock, above the old stables.

Everyone will be busy watching fireworks.

Ken! Danny!

Ken! Shh!

What's going on? I want you reprimanded. Don't omit your duty.

What? You wanted a letter unattended.

I've had enough, Ken.

Don't go, sir.

It's even got me talking in my sleep.

My missus woke me up at three this morning demanding to know who Marilyn

tried to tell us she was an aubergine, but she got violent.

Hold on, Lenny.

But this is all speculation, Ken.

Just because she went to the gardener's cottage.

I can't ruin that poor girl's life just on this.

Well, you accepted the case, Harry.

Well, that was before I knew all the facts.

That was before you knew she was Mary's daughter, you mean.

Now, you leave Mary out of this. Oh, come on, come on. How many lectures have

had off you, eh? About mixing business with my personal life?

This is my case, not yours.

And I'll do as I bloody well like.

Now, we'll find out who the thief is, but we'll leave Mrs. Blake alone.

It may not be that simple.

Why not?

Well, what if the two things are linked?

What do you mean?

Well, I've had someone look through Blake's study.

Who? Doesn't matter. An expert.

Anyway, he reckons that alarm system wasn't bypassed, so it must have been

switched off.

So? Well, how many people have access to the keys?

You can't bail out of a case halfway through, mate, just because you don't

what you find.

I know what I should do, Ken.

But I'm not sure I can do it.

Oh, what a bloody mess!

Par for the course, I'm afraid, mate.

I suppose we could sit on this for a while.

You can't expect me to make that decision for you.

No, I'm just fooling myself when I can.

Now I've took the job on, I'll do it properly.

So you're going to give Donald the file?

Yes, go and see him now.

I'll have to talk to Mary, though, tell her what's going on.

Yes, well, before you do that, I think it might help if we knew exactly what

we're talking about, which means one of us ought to be at that meeting at nine.

Whatever you say.

Mother dear.

If you're between cheap detective novels, I've got something here that

interesting reading.

I cannot think of anything belonging to you that would be of any interest to me.

Mother, dear, this charming line in Irish backchat may have been all very

in my own mother's day, but, you know, I don't think I really care for it.

So, fact me.

I wouldn't dream of it for as long as you're my darling mother -in -law.

What's this?

Crawford's first report.

And? Well, it seems my wife's got a date tonight.

Does it say who with?

Whoever it is, isn't for a very naughty shock.

You've got a video in your room.

What? A video.

Why?

Just wondered.

Where'd you get that from?

Lookie down on the ground.

Oh, yes.

Oh, yes, I understand. Look,

Mary, listen, wait.

Will you just let me explain?

I can cope with your music.

That is my own stupid fault, but don't insult my intelligence as well. Look,

will you just listen? No, you listen to me.

If I hadn't have found that in time, my daughter would be out there on her own

with God knows what facing her. What?

Donald!

I told you what it was like. Oh, I'm sorry.

Just... Just go, will you?

Harry! Not now, Rocky.

He's told to tell you. Rocky!

What is it?

Well? Go on.

When Mrs Blake left.

She's not going anywhere now. She's upstairs in her room.

She can't be. I've just seen her leaving.

Oh, for God's sake, Rocky, get an ambulance, quick!

Where is he?

He's in there now.

Is he all right?

Minor gunshot wounds and possibly concussion is up his head. Bad enough.

What happened?

It's my fault.

I let him go there on his own.

How are you, you know?

Look, Harry, you stay with him.

Call me as soon as you know anything.

Where are you going?

The final part of the business!

Harry.

Harry, just think things through.

A good detective, doesn't that at the moment? I'm not a detective, and I never

bloody well have been.

What? It's Ken.

He's a detective.

I was just trying to impress you.

And now because of that, he's lying in a hospital bed.

Oh, God, Harry, you didn't have to do that. I don't care what you are.

Well, it's too late now.

The damage is already done.

Don't make it any worse.

Think about what you're doing. Think about what Ken would do.

I don't know.

Well... Look, we won't find anything as a matter.

Well, not until after the police have gone.

And Rebecca said she didn't find anything. Well, what about the person

meeting? Eh?

Who the hell are you?

Just talk to the man, Jason.

Well, someone will tell me what's going on. First, you can tell me where you

were an hour ago.

I was watching the fireworks.

You were supposed to be up at the stables meeting, Mrs Blake.

You what?

My partner heard you making the arrangements.

I wasn't meeting her anywhere.

Neither was my partner, but somebody shot him just the same.

You what?

It seems someone mistook him for her lover.

That should be you in hospital, you know that, don't you?

There's nothing going on between me and Mrs Blake. She was here yesterday.

That's none of your business.

Tell him, Jason.

It's private.

I'm not leaving without answers, one way or another.

Now, what was Mrs Blake doing here yesterday?

Please, Jason, he means it.

That's Rebecca's bag.

Happy now?

She's teaching me to read.

I'm sorry.

Just leave me alone, will you?

He's got his fins.

I'm sorry. He's been heavily sedated. He has to be kept quiet.

Boyfriend, is he?

Something like that.

How quiet can you be?

As a mouse.

If I find anyone in there, I'll have to throw them out.

But if someone was to sneak in there when my back was turned, well, it might

a while before I noticed.

Here.

Could be a long night.

Thanks.

It had to be Donald.

He knew from my report that she was meeting somebody. I did try to warn you.

How are we going to prove it? We've run out of witnesses.

There's one thing we haven't done.

What's that?

It's the oldest trick in the book.

But if it works, you'll have all the proof you need.

If pain and hurt and ache I craved, or a fire to burn my soul, if tears I

choose to cleanse mine eyes, then to you would I give my all.

if lips must be bitten but never kissed, and ne 'er to mention your name, and

naught is left except to die as a moth unto the flame.

Come in.

Harry!

Drink?

No, thank you, Donald.

Better keep a clear head.

Not a lot to do yet.

How's your man?

Oh, it wasn't as bad as it looked, but he's still under sedation.

Oh, dear.

Have you talked to the police? They were asking after you.

Not yet. I thought I'd wait until I've got something to tell them.

Oh.

Ken's a pro.

He always takes photographs, you see, especially in domestic cases.

Photographs? That's right.

I took the camera off him in the ambulance, so if we're lucky, we should

whoever was there on film.

And is it developed yet?

No, not yet. I'm doing that myself.

I don't want any more slip -ups.

We've got a darkroom back at the office.

Well, if you find anything, let us know.

Don't worry, Donald.

You'll be the first to know.

I came to see if you were all right.

Oh, Mother.

I think we'd better go in.

Make sure he doesn't move.

Okay. Thank you.

I feel like I've been hit by a truck.

You'll get hit by a nut if you don't lie still.

You know the police are waiting to speak to you.

I'm not sure I can tell them anything.

It all happened so fast.

No time to duck, I suppose.

No. Ring this if you need me.

I'd better call Harry.

He's been going spare.

Why didn't you tell me?

Well... I wanted to.

But then after it was over... And I knew you'd talk me out of it.

And I don't think I had to get away from it.

to steal from him. One of his stupid figures is a small price to pay after

he's taken from me.

Besides, he'd have got it back.

Once he'd paid.

Called it a divorce settlement.

Rebecca, you signed the agreement.

I loved him then.

Can't you understand?

I needed the money to get away.

We couldn't think of any other way to raise it. We?

Don't somebody else know anything?

Oh, God!

It's all my fault.

A man has been shot because of me.

You can't be blamed for having a jealous husband.

Donald!

Do you think it was him?

What?

Who else could it be?

anywhere without seeing him.

Give our best they can, eh?

Okay, bye.

Well, that's what it all brought out.

They think they know who did it.

Harry set up a trap for him.

What sort of trap?

Now, let me see if I can get this right.

They've told this Donald bloke that you took some photos before you were shot.

Harry's supposed to be developing them at the office while Rocky and Lenny

Donald.

Well, when he leaves to try and get the photos, Rocky calls the cavalry.

Don't worry, Harry's perfectly safe.

I mean, they're sticking to Donald like glue.

Get me out of here.

Kenny, you can't. Yes, I can. Get Harry on that thing, quick.

I don't understand.

It wasn't Donald who shot me.

What? I passed him on the way.

You're watching the wrong man.

And who's watching Harry?

Well, I'm confident.

Come on.

Tell me.

I'll be all right.

No, you are not.

What? I've left them upstairs in my coat.

Alice!

Hello, Harry.

It's been a long time.

Enjoyed your report, Harry.

Do you really think Rebecca would have an affair with a gardener?

No worse than an estate manager.

Photographs, Harry?

Not any bloody photographs.

What? That was just to get you here.

And now you are.

The whole place will be crawling with police any minute.

Oh, I doubt it.

When I left, your idiot colleagues were watching Donald like he was about to

steal the family silver.

I've got another team outside, watching you.

So where are they?

They'll be here.

Be too late then, Harry.

It was you, wasn't it?

Supposed to meet Rebecca tonight.

I'm sorry about your friend.

I thought it was hubby.

I was hoping for an extremely wealthy widow.

Oh, very neat.

Yes, isn't it?

Only one loose end.

No hard feelings, Harry.

Come on,

Harry, you don't expect me to...

Ireland?

It gets her out of Donald's reach while the divorce is going through.

Are you going with her?

Well, there's nothing to keep me here, is there?

Absolutely.

Absolutely? What?

Is that all you've got to say for yourself?

Absolutely? No, please stay, Mary. Can't live without you, Mary.

Yeah, but you wouldn't want... You just leave her on and then when it suits you,

you just drop her.

I didn't say that...

got an awful lot to say as far as I can see, Harry Crawford. That's because I

can't get a bloody word in headway.

And don't swear. It doesn't suit you. I'm very sorry, but you have that effect

on me.

Don't you raise your voice to me, Harry Crawford, or I'll... Don't you think

just by kissing me that you'll...

Beg

me to stay, Harry.

And if I do?

I consider it.

You're

lucky

to be alive, you know.

Rushing out of the hospital like that.

If you can't get there when someone needs you,

then naught else is left except to die

as a moth under the flame.

I've got some food.

What?

Cheers, mate.

Here you are.

There.

How are you feeling?

Oh, I'm much better. After a couple of weeks in bed.

Can I have a word?

Yeah.

Look, no more of this job -swapping lark, eh, Harry?

I think my nerve can take it.

OK, no, absolutely no. No, no.

Now, I've come to realise now that we've both got our own strengths.

Good.

That's it, then, eh? Everything back to normal? Well, no, no. Not quite, no.

Eh?

Well, there's something I've got to tell you.