All language subtitles for Boon s07e08 Is There Anybody There

Sometimes I said, yeah, feeling alone.

No one to talk to. I got no telephone.

So, do you think you can watch over the
old heap for me?

Oh, that shouldn't be a problem, Jim.
All right if we have a look round?

Yeah, if you like.

Look, it's been empty for two years
since the last owner's looked.

All the original features, sir.

Staircase, plasterwork, a few
fireplaces.

Yeah, just the sort of thing these
thieves will be after.

I can't foresee any problems, Jim.

I've got a couple of my blokes up at
Fitzsimmons' house.

Isn't that the place that lost a stained
glass window?

Oh, that wasn't our fault.

They're very professional, these
fittings raiders.

They took the whole window out in under
an hour.

Not to mention a whole spiral staircase
and plasterwork ceiling.

I haven't got time to think about it.
What with antenatal classes and this

craving for... Pickles?

Pickles? The worry's wearing me out. I'm
tired all day and awake all night.

When's the baby due?

At the last count, it was twins.

They're due any second.

All right if I take a look upstairs?

Yeah, of course you can.

After you.

Can you smoke perfume?

This is the o 'clock.

And car panelling cost an absolute bomb
to replace.

Yeah, well, if these don't get, we'll go
and we'll... Loose board.

I've had four sets of contractors in to
try and do the renovations. Not one of

them stayed to finish the job.

Well, you can rest assured the TVS will
stay the course, Jim.

How come you're having so much trouble
with the builders, then?

Well... You know how it is. This is
specialist restoration.

You can't get anyone reliable, and you
know what workmen are.

But don't worry, Jim.

At least the security won't let you
down.

Harry, what's the matter with him?

Well, you'd be worried, wouldn't you, if
you were expecting twins?

Not worried, mate.

Surprised?

Hey, who are we thinking of getting to
sit this dump, then? It's a cushy job,

Ken. The boys will be queuing up.

I wouldn't fancy it a night.

They'll be queuing up, he said.

Oh, I don't know. I never heard so many
excuses.

Rocky's had a run -in with a rogue pig.
What?

Oh, the pig's all right, but the bike's
a mess.

Rocky's got himself locked in a hospital
for a couple of days.

Observation, he calls it.

Here.

And Dave's having his wisdom teeth out.

Dave? He hasn't got any teeth.

I don't know what you're going on about,
Ken.

Well, I can think of better ways than
spending the evening in a house sitting.

Oh, aye.

That's right.

I've forgotten you've got this urgent
game of patience to finish, haven't you?

All right, all right.

Now what?

Look, I smell that funny perfume again.

Well, I can't smell anything.

Come on, where's the kitchen?

I need a cup of coffee.

Hey,

hey, wait up.

So what do you fancy, fricassee of
fricassee or boiled label?

Is that all there is? That's all there
was.

This is bloody wonderful.

I'm going off down the takeaway. What do
you want, Chinese or Indian?

Oh, you can't go now. As long as one of
us. No, you can't leave me again on my

own. Why not?

Well, because he... I think that's good
enough reason.

Who's this, the Jack?

I thought there was supposed to be
nobody here. There wasn't, Mac.

There aren't any lights.

Let's hope everyone's asleep.

Invisible. Got it?

No light.

Get it.

All right, I've got torches in my bag.

Well, where is it?

If I knew, I would... It's here.

Let go.

Let go.

It's dropping the blood in my arm.

Oh, my God.

It's obviously somebody playing silly
buggers. Here.

Ken! Ken, wait for me!

Ken?

Ken, are you there?

Ken?

Where are you going?

Home.

This place is haunted.

No wonder Jim was jittery this morning
and no wonder he couldn't keep the

builders in. What are you on about?

Well, didn't you hear the music?

What? Didn't you see the old lady?

She came out of the cellar there and
disappeared.

Well, then I wouldn't have seen her,
would I?

No, I'm serious.

I'm going down the cellar.

It's probably where the Fuseys are.

Oh, Ken, Ken, Ken.

Looks like it's been tampered with.

I need a whiff of Alec about all this.

I wouldn't be at all surprised if your
old lady had something to do with the

lights going out.

Oh, my God!

What?

Vampires!

One,

two, three.

It's mushroom compost, Harry.

I thought it was a finger.

This place has given me the willies.

Which is exactly what someone wants.

The question is, who?

Looks like this is all a diversion,
Harry.

Yeah, I must have disturbed them while
they were fixing the fuses.

It doesn't look like they've taken
anything.

Well, there was a lefty, Norrie.

We saw the 15 foot down here.

Oh, look, Harry.

You can have some toast with your tea.

Oh, I can.

Be all right.

Scrape it off a bit, mate.

Penicillin. It's good for you.

What are you doing?

I've got to check out where they broke
in, see if I can patch it up.

Make the place secure for the night.

Ken? Ken?

Hmm.

Surprised to see me?

I couldn't keep away.

I, uh... Ooh.

I've been so lonely.

I crave company, Harry.

No, it's private property, madam.

You've no right.

What I crave is a red -blooded male.

Harry. Harry.

Harry.

Wake up. Wake up, Harry.

We're supposed to be guarding the place,
not kipping.

Look what I've found.

Great. The machine's eaten it.

Excuse me.

Come quietly, officer.

Well, I kept house for the last owners,
Terry and Kathleen Carpenter. And then

when Terry died and Kathleen sold up, I
very naughtily kept my keys.

Well, I wanted somewhere to grow my
mushrooms and I didn't think it would

to use the cellar.

So you're the one who's been scaring the
builders away?

Oh, I hope not.

Oh, it's an old house, Mr Boone, and it
has an old history.

I think someone's died in every one of
these bedrooms.

Eh?

There was old Mrs Phlox, hit on the head
with a flying gas mantle in the Chinese

room.

Mr Arkwright, tripping over that morning
glory in the conservatory.

And what about Professor Plum in the
dining room with the candlestick?

Ghost. I would have to see one to
believe in one.

This rope didn't break by accident.

What are you saying? The place isn't
haunted?

No, we think it's sabotage.

You know, somebody capitalising on the
haunted house rumours.

Well, what a relief.

Relief? The place is a death trap.

The whole place looks like it's rigged
up. Someone could get hurt.

Look, I'm sorry. I really don't
understand what's going on.

Do you think of a reason why anyone
would want to scare you out?

Nothing springs to mind.

No one's shown any interest in it, like
I said.

What about the previous owners? Any
bother?

Not that I heard about.

Why, you think they've got a skeleton in
my closet?

It's worth asking.

Terry Carpenter owned it.

When he died, his wife wanted to sell.

I dealt with the bloke's brother, Paul
Carpenter.

Maybe he'd be able to help.

My brother's dead, Mr Boone.

Yeah, I'm sorry. Look, I know this can't
be easy, but we're investigating the

possibility of sabotage at his old
house.

Well, what's that got to do with us?

Nothing. I haven't been near the place
in over two years.

Paul, calm down.

He doesn't mean anything by it.

No, what I was going to ask was, did
your brother have any trouble at the

Terry killed himself, Mr Boone. I think
you can safely say the man was troubled.

I'm sorry.

I'm in trouble with the house, actually.

Like ghosts.

Where is all this leading us, Mr Will?

What can we tell you?

It's just a house.

I really don't think I can help you.

Yeah, look, I'm sorry if I've upset you.
You've been a great help.

Thank you.

No luck there, then? Well, I'm not sure.
He didn't want to talk about it. But

when his secretary tried, he stopped
her.

Well, he is family.

I mean, perhaps it just hurts to think
about it.

People are very sensitive about a
suicide.

Yeah, that's probably how these
ridiculous ghost rumors started in the

place. Yeah, well, perhaps. But he was
definitely irritated with me. I mean, he

wanted me out.

Well, maybe he's hiding something.

Well, somebody is.

Marion, it didn't work.

In fact, I think we might have botched
it up.

We need to talk.

Someone's trying to make this look
bumpy.

This carpenter fella killing himself
makes an easy job of it, doesn't he?

I wonder if he'll come back nude.

What?

Nude.

Well, you see, he left all his clothes
rolled up in a bundle at St. B's Head.

So I was wondering... Come on, I've got
him trapped.

But I saw him.

We all vanished.

Maybe he got through.

Or maybe not.

You know, I can't hang around here all
day.

I've got people to see.

Or not.

He was real, Ken.

I know.

The furniture robbers weren't the only
people to break in here, you know.

Not to mention a few tins of beans that
had been mysteriously eaten.

Who are you off to?

I've arranged to meet Jim, give him a
progress report.

I think we're on to something, mate.
Where did Mrs Whitworth go?

I don't know. I thought I saw her going
into the kitchen here. I'll be back

later. I'll be back later.

Justine, you don't believe her stories,
do you?

She may have a very good reason for
lying. Yes. Well, you can find out why

I meet up with Jim.

I'll be back later.

Make sure you get back before sunset,
Harry.

And bring some garlic and a sharpened
pencil to dry through her heart.

Listen, you go on in. Have a chat with
her, Mrs Whitworth. I'm going to take

another look upstairs.

Okay.

Who the hell are you?

Terry.

Terry Carpenter.

I've been coming up here for a breath of
air.

You can only take being shut in for so
long.

You've been here a fortnight?

Yeah. Most of the locals think this
place is haunted anyway and still well

clear.

It was only when you lot turned up that
I had problems.

I've been dreaming about chocolate
-covered woodlice.

Can I keep these?

Yeah, have them.

You must be the one who ate the soup and
beans.

I thought I drank those beans.

Look, you can't go on living like this,
mate.

You can't stay here.

All my memories are here, Ken.

I've been at home.

In a way, I suppose I am a kind of
ghost.

What is this, Harry? Musical mysteries?

First it isn't haunted, now it is.

I don't suppose you've got any proof,
have you? I told you, he just

Did you see him yourself?

No, but my assistant did, and she's very
reliable.

Great, that's all we need, an hysterical
female.

Teddy Carpenter killed himself, Jim. And
his spirit, unable to rest, haunts my

house. Do me a favour.

My God, I'm going to have to get my
estate agent onto this now before you go

blabbing it around town and put everyone
off.

Well, I felt it only right that we
should report our findings.

And then my business started going down
the toilet.

Cash flow had gone badly wrong
somewhere.

The more I looked, the less I could
find.

I couldn't straighten it out.

Every time I opened my office door,
there was a new problem and no

And then one night, I got home and
Kathleen, my wife, she'd gone out.

So? With a man, one of my clients.

I see.

It was like she pulled the flush on me.

I panicked, wanted to run.

Next morning I got into the car and
didn't stop driving till I ran out of

petrol.

Mrs Whitworth said you killed yourself.

I did.

Seemed like the best way to be dead.

I dumped the car, left my overcoat on
the clifftop and walked away.

Well, then what?

Nothing.

I've washed dishes, windows, toilets.

I've slept on benches and cardboard
boxes.

The business I don't care about.

But I can't forget Kathleen.

The worst bit isn't thinking about how
I've let her down, what I've put her

through.

It's dreaming she's asleep beside me and
then waking up in some hostel.

I'm finding her gone.

Hello there.

All quiet, Harry.

Henry and Cy came from a look round, I
think.

Miss Carstairs of Carstairs Ogden and
White Knight. Oh, thank you.

Who does she think she is?

She's an estate agent.

I know. I should have faced it all. I
know.

She probably hates me.

Well, that's not really a problem, is
it?

You think she's remarried?

Well, even if she hasn't, she thinks
you're dead.

You've got to find out for me. I
couldn't even find out where she's moved

Just do that for me, Ken, please.

I don't know.

Do you think there's any future in it?
I've made a massive mistake.

I hope I can change that.

All I've got at the moment is hope. I
hope I can make a future with Kathleen.

I just have to know one way or another.

All right, all right.

I'll see what I can do.

OK?

The secret is to emphasise the strong
points, Mr Fitz.

The period residence of some
character... Harry, can I have a word?

minute, Ken, please.

Would it affect the sale at all if the
house already had a complete security

system installed?

Eh? Harry?

It's a possibility, yes. Every little
bit helps.

Look. Look at this.

That is the man I saw in the bedroom.

Harry, wait a minute.

Kate, hold on. What's all the rush?

That bloke that Alice caught in the
bedroom is here again. Look.

Oh,

him. You know him? Of course.

Terry Carpenter.

I told you he used to live here.

Before he died, of course.

Of course, there's nothing against him
living here now he's dead.

Oh, wow.

A real live ghost.

I don't believe this.

Seeing's believing.

Are you all tapped? If this gets out,
not even the month doesn't buy this

Oh, you're sorry, Jim.

Right, that's it.

Out!

Out! You're fired!

I'm not haunting the place.

Yes, but if you haven't been so, let
me... Yes, and this house is not

Terry Geezer isn't dead.

Oh, no, he's one of the undead.

Get in the car.

Not another word. Go on.

Hmm?

The security man's back.

Wants to know Catherine's address.

Says he's got some mail to be forwarded
or something.

What do you think?

I think we should be as cooperative as
possible.

Not draw any attention to ourselves.

Interested in marketing, Mr Boone? No,
no, no.

There you go.

Thanks. I wouldn't have bothered
contacting you, but she wasn't listed in

directory. I thought she might have
moved away or remarried.

Well, she hasn't.

Great. I mean, it makes things easier,
doesn't it? For whoever...

He's trying to contact her.

Whoever that is.

Is this Harry Crawford's way of getting
back at me?

Who are they?

Someone, let's not mention names,
slipped that photo to the newspaper, and

this lot are here to find the ghost of
Terry Carpenter.

What photo? We never had a photo. It's
not important. I don't mind these people

being here in the interest of science,
but I have to think of the interests of

my house.

I need someone to keep them under
control.

Just...

Mrs Kathleen Carpenter?

Yeah, can I help you?

I'm Barry Wynder from the Argus.

I wonder if you had any comments about
the story in this morning's paper about

your husband's haunting of your old
house.

No. Tell me, Mrs Carpenter, do you feel
that his spirit's unable to rest because

of the circumstances of his death and
the fact that your infidelity led to his

suicide?

Do you feel that your extramarital bit
of fun at a time of crisis to his

business killed him?

Do you feel in any way responsible, Mrs
Carpenter?

Hmm?

I thought you'd never get here.

Well, we came as fast as we could.

They've taken over the hallway, most of
the kitchen, some of the drawing rooms.

And what about these refreshments your
mother's been handing out?

The old big with the mushrooms.

It's not my mother.

She used to be the housekeeper here.

Right, well, she's out on her ear for a
start.

She's lonely. She just likes the
company.

I suppose she's not doing any harm, but
what about this lot?

Oh, we'll have to be careful with the
vehicles.

but if we utilise our resources and keep
the traffic circulating, we'll have the

minimum of disruption and congestion in
the driveway.

Can you start now?

Yeah, certainly.

After you.

Oh, after you. You're in charge.

Hey, you!

Get that animal off this rubbery!

Is it a bird? Is it a plane?

No, it's a Harry Crawford.

Go and check over the house with me.

Start upstairs, if you like.

I'd rather not. I've got a jobload of
black -eyed Susans arriving back at the

garden. Oh, well, no worries, Jim.

No worries. CBS will handle it all for
you.

It's getting a bit crowded in here,
isn't it? A bit too crowded for comfort.

I think they need something to keep them
busy.

What's happened?

We've got problems.

A load of ghost hunters from the
university. The place is crawling.

I don't know about it, Mac.

What do you think?

I think if anyone asks, we're
professors.

We'll get in.

Professors? Get changed.

You lot, get changed.

No.

Make this payment to Sparchem Limited.

And make the quickest of Flashprint
Limited quarterly. We're overusing that.

I've got Kathleen out here, very upset.

All right, sure. And can you get us a
couple of coffees?

Looks to me like she could use a brandy.

Catherine, good to see you.

You know Mark? Catherine.

Sit down, sit down.

What's the matter, sweetheart?

There was this reporter and... Oh, Paul.

He's going to haunt me.

He's going to haunt me. Shh.

It's all right.

Just a hoax.

Just a hoax. Someone drumming up stories
out of nothing.

Look, go home, lock the door and draw
the curtains.

I'll come over when I'm finished here
and sort him out.

Give him a boxing story to think about,
eh?

Jude, take one of the cars and give
Catherine a lift home.

I think the Jag's free.

I don't want to put anyone into any
trouble.

Shh, nothing in it. Look, you had a
dinner tonight. Get you out of that

for once. Put all this behind you.

I can't ever put him behind me, Paul.

I can't.

What do you mean?

Go and see her?

Well, I thought that's why you wanted me
to find her.

Yeah, but what if... What if she... I
wouldn't want to see her again if she

didn't want me back.

I couldn't face that.

She could have a heart attack.

All right, well, um... Well, what do you
want me to say to her?

Mrs Carpenter, I just want to talk to
you. I said get off my property.

It's about Terry.

Skip the bleeding heart stuff.

All you're interested in is your damn
newspaper sales.

My husband died.

End of story.

Looks like we could both do with a
drink, eh?

I fished out the inquest report,
thinking I could pick up on the rumoured

affair, play the old slag of a wife
angle.

There's nothing in it.

What do you mean?

She didn't cheat on him.

He was just paranoid.

So it looks like he's dead.

And boring.

She'll be sorry she didn't talk to me
when she reads tomorrow's paper, though.

I've got a very unhealthy imagination.

But there's no story.

That's never stopped me.

All this ghost stuff's crap.

So why shouldn't I make a bit more extra
cash by making something up?

You can get anywhere with occult stuff.

Ritual sex.

Sacrificial virgins.

I could break into the Sundays with one
like this.

Well, I've had it. You're welcome to it.

Sorry, mate.

Accidents will happen.

What do you want me to say?

There's nothing here.

Marie, this is the Oak Room.

You can't be sure it's him. And equally,
you can't be sure he's a ghost. It's my

brother, Mark.

I'd know him anywhere.

Be sure your sins will find you out.

God, I've heard about people coming back
to haunt others, but...

The only thing that comes back to haunt
us, Mark, is our past.

She's got a few questions to answer
about our furniture -happy friends.

got to get that Terry business sorted
out.

You do realise we're harbouring a
squatter, don't you?

Where is Terry?

I've no idea.

Are you listening to me?

She didn't even cheat on you.

And if you'd hung around long enough,
you would have found that out.

Do you think there's hope?

Do you think she'll ever forgive me?

I don't know, mate.

She won't talk to me if she thinks I'm a
reporter after some exclusive.

Bloody vultures.

I should have stayed away.

Bastards!

It's all my fault.

Maybe she's better off without me after
what I've done to her.

If you're going to give up before we've
even tried, you won't want to hear my

idea, then.

Look, somebody gave the photo to the
press and it wasn't any of us.

You have to admit, it created a
diversion for the thieves.

And you were here the other night when
they tried to make off with the

fireplace. I haven't used a camera for
years.

Always used to cut people's heads off
because I couldn't see through the

window without my glasses.

Mind you, the camera that Miss Carstairs
had the other day

seemed pretty nifty.

Oh, grow up, Mark.

If Terry comes back, that's it.

You'll find out about the whole deal.
And that includes your part in it.

We could cut him in. You had to split
three ways when I jumped in. I, for one,

don't care to split four ways.

Three's company. He won't want in.

He tripped over the tiniest bit of what
we were up to. He thought it was his

mistakes, not our cookery -bookery.

If he discovers what we've been
handling... Yes, but... And what a

accountant you've been.

But... It's murder, Paul.

You can't murder a dead man.

My ears are playing up, Harry.

I thought you just said they'd nicked my
wood panelling.

Yes. But we did get rid of the ghost
hunters for you.

How? One of my associates got caught
making ghost noises down a radiator

What? Yes, it worked very well, though.

Now they'll rubbish the haunted theory
and you'll be able to sell your house.

Yes, I will, won't I?

Great. Yeah, it is, isn't it? Great.

Yeah.

Well, I'll get back to the house. Harry.

What's that on your jacket?

Hmm?

It's tomato ketchup.

I'll let you know our progress on the
paneling. You do that.

See you.

Hear all that? Yes.

Why the hell did you hire those prats
again?

Because I need somebody to babysit the
boffins before I have to replace all the

windows.

So.

What's the next move?

Get my brother over there with his
toolbox.

Give the scientists something to
research.

You don't give up, do you?

Look, it's not what you're thinking. I
wanted to give you something from Terry.

Are you a medium?

That bit cracks me and my phone off the
wall.

I know, it must be difficult.

You don't know anything.

Look, I was one of the last people to
see Terry alive.

And he wanted you to have this.

Why didn't you tell me this before?

Well, a bit difficult through the
letterbox.

It's taken me this long to find you, you
know.

Um...

Well, it was that newspaper article that
led me here.

Terry?

Bye. Yeah,

I know.

He knew he'd shut you out, you know.

He told me a thought about it
afterwards.

Afterwards?

What I wouldn't give for an afterwards.

You can't just stop loving someone.

I can't forget about him.

I still come home sometimes and expect
to find him making coffee.

Leaving his sweaty socks on. I'm sorry.

Any sausage rolls?

Don't change the subject.

I think it's time I did. I've gone over
it and over it.

And whose fault is that, you big wimp?

God, you expected Kathleen to be
psychic, did you?

You were supposed to be her husband, not
a contestant on What's My Lie. I know.

That's why I had to come back.

Better late than never, I suppose.

Right, I'm off.

I'll bring you some sausage rolls.

Hey, not three times or something, will
you? Only I heard something earlier, and

when I opened the panel, it was Jim
Fisk.

I thought he didn't like to come in,
except with a crucifix and a priest.

He had a man and a toolbox with him.
They nearly caught me.

Well, you nearly caught them.

Eh?

I'll be back.

No, I can't do it. I'll never bring it
off.

Don't give me that mark. You could
manage it all right when our little

was going to kick -start your career.
All you have to do is lock yourself in

Paul's office for the afternoon, run a
couple of the promo videos and give a

of a speech to an empty room.

It'll be a doddle.

No, we've got to think of something
else.

There must be another way, Paul. There
just has to be. No other way.

Our lives depend on his death.

Paul's been to do all my thinking those
first few months.

If he hadn't taken over, the business
would have disintegrated.

He really got it moving again.

And then when they called, asked if I
could come in, I couldn't face it.

It was like it wasn't true.

He wasn't dead.

And if I saw that body, then it would be
true.

You identified a body?

No.

Paul said I'd been through enough
already.

I'll never forget his face when he came
back.

Paul identified the body.

Hello,

Jude. Paul wanted to see me.

Punctual as ever, Mr Lewis.

I'm afraid he's not going to be able to
see you just yet. I'll let him know

you're here.

Mr Carpenter, Mr Lewis is here to see
you.

Mr Lewis?

I'm afraid I'm going to be tied up in
here for at least another hour. Can you

ask him to wait, please?

He's the boss.

Any chance of him seeing me?

He's in a meeting, I'm afraid.

Can't you disturb him? It is important.

So is his meeting, Mr Boone. I can't
disturb him again.

You could call back tomorrow.

I'll wait.

Got it.

All good in the dry cleaner.

I've something to do about this jacket.

Look, never mind about that. I've just
been to the estate agent.

Now, our Miss Carstairs wasn't there,
but I found out something very

interesting.

Jim Fisk took this house off the market
some weeks ago.

Apparently something about having got
planning permission to convert it into a

hotel.

Who'd want to stay here?

Look, this is urgent, love. Can't you
just buzz through and tell him I need to

speak with him? No, I can't do that.

Will you buzz through for Mr Lewis? Mr
Lewis has an appointment.

Jude, any chance of a cup of coffee
while I'm waiting, sweetheart?

Oh, yeah, certainly.

Two sugars, isn't it? Yeah, good girl.

Oi! Wait, get away from there.

What the hell are you doing?

I'd like to ask Paul that. Who the hell
do you think you are? Give those to me.

I'll find the police.

No, no.

It was his idea.

Mr Lewis, I'm afraid... The whole thing
was his idea.

Where is he?

I was coerced.

I said we couldn't do it, but he
threatened me. You bastard.

Where is he?

Listen, I'll turn Queen's evidence,
whatever it takes.

He never did anything for me. He always
helped himself.

If he wants an alibi, he can bloody well
make one up.

Alibi?

Oh?

Don't be afraid.

It's me.

The real me.

I'm not dead.

Yes, I can see that.

You don't sound pleased.

I wish you'd stay down there.

Then I wouldn't have to move the body.

You're dead, brother. Why won't you lie
down?

There's another way down.

I'm not a spider to catch a fly.

It's a bit under your chin.

Blast them with that on.

I've got a flake dry and a navy blue.

Thanks, Harry.

Never mind that.

slight grey or navy blue.

How could you put us through this?

They don't need any luck, Alex.

They've got something much better. And
she's got a good right hook.

Perhaps now's the time to tell Jim he
can give up his ghost.

I confess.

My brother's an electrician at the
playhouse.

We were desperate once. It looked like
the scientists were going home.

I tried to put off having to sell. I
love the place.

A house like this, it guzzles money.

Someone said they'd heard it was haunted
the same week that I heard a mate of

mine had won a murder mystery weekend
break.

That was it.

That's how I could keep the place.

Haunted holidays at menacing Moncton
Manor. Not for those of a nervous

disposition. Luxury accommodation, eh,
for the terrified?

Theme holidays are very popular.

We needed proof the place was haunted. I
thought you could provide it.

I even acted a bit jittery to put the
idea into your heads.

What about your wife?

Wife? Yeah. And the twins?

I'm practically divorced, Maria.

You lying little git.

Look, Jim, we'd like to buy the house
from you. We can make you a good offer.

Which reminds me, we could ask Mrs
Whitworth to come back and live in.

We shall have a job.

No, she's still down in the cellar, I
think. Tending to the precious

Pushing up daisies, you mean.

What?

She died last August.

I even sent flowers.

may not be fair