Original subtitles

Sometimes I sit here feeling alone

No one to talk to, I got no telephone

You deserve it.

Stupid bugger's got his lights on.

Oh, Alex, let him pass.

What, in this car? You must be joking.

Christ's sake, Alex, let him pass.

Hand them over.

They're only credit cards. I'll cancel them. Come on.

Jewelry.

And the rest? They're only paste.

No!

You know, Mr Boone, the greatest disappointment of my life, apart from my

mother, is the way that the concept of altruism has been trampled underfoot by

an unbridled free market economy.

I'm not going back home.

And if you can't help me, I'll find someone else who can.

Look, who is it you want me to find?

Me dad.

That's me in there.

I was their love child.

But being a free spirit, he didn't hang around long enough to be introduced.

Is this all you've got to go by?

Yeah.

Well, I mean, that house could be anywhere in Nottingham, couldn't it?

Have you, um, have you tried the phone book?

I think it's rather cynical of you to undermine my quest for self -knowledge,

don't you?

Uh, yeah.

Oi, oi, oi, oi, what the bloody hell's all this?

Harry. Eh? Where have all these come from? I've just let the invoice for the

Christmas do with Laura.

Smudge, mate. We had a preliminary discussion and that's all.

Now, don't be booking the thing till the 13th, you told me. Did I sign anything?

I mean, it's all lined up.

Look, I've just ordered six groats of mincemeat. Not to mention 400 crackers

a little number in a Santa suit for the lads.

Exactly.

That's hardly the image we'd want to project at CBS, is it?

Don't worry about it. I'm used to rejection.

What does she think she looks like? Aye, Harry.

Appearances aren't everything, you know. I've got just one thing to say to you,

Rocky.

Rats. Rats? In the warehouse. Go on, get it sorted.

Me? No way.

Ken has a Mr Laurence Drake from Elmore House up in Young Park. Can you call out

and see him? Right.

Now, that sounds more like it.

Oh, yeah.

Money talks in this office, don't it, Harry?

Rocky. Rocky, there's nothing wrong with trying to attract the right kind of

clientele.

Something tells me I don't want to hear this.

See you later.

You're up bright and early, darling.

Thought I'd go for a ride.

Unless there's something you want to do.

No, no, you go ahead.

You should get some fresh air. It would do you good.

No, no, I've got a man coming to see me.

Better build me a gazebo.

Mr Boone.

Ah, yes.

Come in, come in. Hi,

Campoon. Forgive me if I don't get up.

Sit down, sit down.

You're, uh... You're not what I expected.

But you come recommended.

Oh, yeah? Who by?

Discretion, Mr Boone.

Not a large part of your job.

Yeah, it is.

Good.

Because I want you to be discreet.

It's my wife.

You don't seem surprised.

It usually is.

I had a call from my bank manager. It seems she's overspent her allowance.

Is that unusual?

This amount is far from usual.

I think she's hiding something.

She jumps every time the phone rings, checks the post, makes excuses for

out half the night, that sort of thing.

Well, any idea what it is?

Well, my wife leads her own life to a certain extent, Mr. Bloom.

Well, I don't like to say this, but have you considered the possibility...

Another man?

That's what happens 95 %... Could you blame her? I don't keep my wife on a

leash, Mr. Bloom.

No, I'm sorry. I just felt I had to warn you.

You're very considerate.

You can see why I feel protective, can't you?

It's blackmail.

They want money for the jewel.

They're gone.

Alex, I need to see you.

I've got to get them back.

Wow. Formula two, eh?

Yeah.

I was quite a catch in those days, believe it or not.

The accident was hard on Pamela.

She was young.

Missed all the glamour, all the trappings.

And she's never held it against me.

Which is why I want this thing cleared up.

Well, what have you got for me to go on?

I suggest you have a look through her room.

What?

It is my house, Mr. Boone.

Oh, that's my number.

It's ex -directory, so don't lose it.

Okay.

Let me know as soon as you find something. Yeah, I will.

Pamela's the only thing that really means anything to me, Mr. Boone.

I want you to know that.

Yeah.

Okay, mate.

Hello, darling.

Was that the Gadebo man I just saw leaving?

Oh, yes, yes.

Very helpful fellow.

Didn't look as if he could spell Gadebo.

That's where I'm built on.

Sod this for a game of soldier.

Oh!

Oh, God.

I thought you were... I was a rat.

Yeah.

Is that your room 101, then?

Huh? Rat.

George Orwell, 1984.

Confronting your essential fears.

Haven't you read it?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Ages ago, though, you know. School.

Look, um... I'm sorry about earlier.

Ken, you know, he's a really nice bloke, really.

I think he's lost his way.

I sense you haven't found your raison d 'etre, either.

Your reason for being.

I mean, this.

Not what you're here for, is it?

Oh, no. Do you see?

Harry, can you mean to call in pest control?

Someone's got to do it. I don't just mean this.

You've got to reach out and grab life with both hands.

Ab. Well, maybe I could help you find the real Rocky.

If you could help me find me dad.

So, where do we start?

Well, me mum got in touch with me dad through a medium.

Well, after all, they're hoping he was still alive.

No, they're two live people as well, you see.

She had a message from me auntie Gwen in Australia.

You sound like me mother.

I think we should try a more practical approach. Anyway, things can happen if

you dabble.

I'm sure he's still somewhere in Nottingham.

Happy Christmas.

What if it turned out to be something like that?

It's a place you work at, isn't it? Negative, negative, negative.

Poor sod.

She probably is out here with someone.

Well, you know what I say, don't you? What?

Fur coat, no knickers. Oh, Harry.

So crude.

I hate these kind of jobs, you know.

I mean, he's better off not knowing, isn't he?

Well, maybe she isn't. Maybe she isn't.

Maybe she's just worried about what to get him for Christmas.

Not so now.

Place your bets, please, ladies and gentlemen. Place your bets.

No more bets, ladies and gentlemen. No more bets.

That's 23 red.

23 red.

I'm down nearly 200 already.

Taxman's never going to believe it, is he, when I try and climb your 25th?

I know,

Harry, I know.

Will you take a bed?

Of course I will.

Place your beds, please, ladies and gentlemen. Place your beds.

And that is Black Ken.

Black...

It's

not Nookie she's after, mate. She's up to her eyes in debt.

Cash that for me.

Look, darling, just calm down.

I'll get you a drink and tell me what happened. I laughed.

I had to think of getting the money some other way.

Oh, Alex.

Where am I going to get the money from?

Have a drink.

How long have they given you to? Thanks, till Friday.

No money, no jewels. Oh, God. What's Lawrence going to say when he finds out

they've gone?

What's Lawrence going to say when he finds out about us?

All right, I'll see what I can raise. No, no, no, it's my problem.

It isn't your problem, it's our problem.

Don't want to wake your husband.

That is a very jealous bloke. Please.

I'm trying to get the money. You've got to give me time. If you spent a little

less on your lover boy, you'd have more in the bank, wouldn't you?

Sooner or later, your husband's going to notice the jewels have gone.

You like this house, don't you?

the feeling you don't want to give it up.

You know how to get in touch.

It's the usual stuff, love.

Just find out who he is, what he is, what he does. You know, all for the

Yeah.

We'll turn you from the poll tax or something.

You said you wanted to use your initiative, eh?

Well, use it!

Hi.

Morning. I'm really sorry to disturb you so early.

My name's Bryony Cole and I'm doing some market research for a new magazine

that's setting up in the area.

Trying to find out what people would be interested in reading about.

Themselves, I should think.

Well, yes.

Um... I wondered if you wouldn't mind filling in a short questionnaire.

Well, if you don't mind sharing a cup of coffee.

Lovely. Come in.

You've got some lovely things here.

You must travel a lot.

Thank you. I get withdrawal symptoms if I don't get away at least once a month.

Please sit down.

Doesn't your wife mind?

Sure she would, if I had one.

Sorry.

Why?

Ask away.

Name first, I suppose.

Alex Cavendish. You're not going to ask me my age, are you?

I'll put you in the 25 to 40 bracket.

How very diplomatic.

Milk? Please.

Occupation or business?

I don't know.

Wine merchant, wine broker. Basically, I buy and sell wine.

Sounds great.

And where do you do that from? Wherever I happen to be. No office, no overheads.

Sugar? No, thanks.

Sweet enough, eh?

So you're not in Nottingham very often, then?

No. I don't like to be tied down.

Do you?

Um... Hobbies and interests?

Um, I'll just have a look round, please. Something for your wife or your

girlfriend, perhaps?

Girlfriend, yeah. Oh, do you know what size she is?

Bigger than me or smaller than me?

Same, really, a bit thinner. But, um, no, I didn't mean that.

If you're interested, these are just coming.

What every girl's hoping for in her stocking this Christmas.

What is it?

Well, it's a party bag, sir. I've got just the right thing to go.

I'm not going to any party.

Why are you following me?

Yeah, that's right.

I'm Mr Cavendish.

I was led to believe he's in the wine business.

I mean, more of these things, Harry.

Really? Rockies, come on, get ready. Actually, Harry, I'm busy.

Doing what?

On the cliff, my inner self.

Are you on drugs or what?

Well?

He says he won't do business with him anymore. He wasn't exactly

Apparently, he's having trouble with his peaks and troughs.

Is he now?

Yeah.

Laura, I think we're good at that wine tasting after all.

Oh.

You build gazebos by day, and at night you specialise in adultery.

Do you do it for the cash or just the job satisfaction?

I do it because your husband's paying me.

It's my work.

And no, this is not part of the job I enjoy.

Oh, don't be bashful.

I understand that certain men have certain needs.

What are you going to tell my husband?

The truth, what I saw last night.

Please.

My

relationship

with Lawrence isn't easy.

It can't be.

No. He's my husband, and I love him, and I've no intention of leaving him.

But I can't live in Perda for the rest of my life.

No, I appreciate that.

Well, then why show him the evidence?

Because he's my client. That's what he's paying me for. It's my job.

It's not quite what you think, you know. He didn't ask me to spy on you.

Then who were the photographs for?

Look, he's worried about you.

And I think he's right.

I saw you last night in that casino.

And the loan sharks.

You're in big trouble, aren't you?

Is this confidential?

Everything between my clients and I is confidential.

You're not just that client, though, am I?

No, you're not.

You'll just have to trust me.

Well, whoever it is who's blackmailing you knows a lot about you.

The fact that you've got an ex -directory number, that you're Alex's

Very clever.

Why did I wear the bloody things?

Now, who else knew you were going to that restaurant? No one.

It was a spur -of -the -moment decision.

I was originally going to the opera.

Alex suddenly came back from France. And you seized the opportunity.

Well, someone must have followed you, eh?

What should I do?

Not much to go on, is there?

Your description's a bit easy.

You could go to the police.

If I do, Lawrence will find out.

My husband's a very understanding man, Mr Boone.

He gives me a certain amount of freedom.

And I appreciate that.

I also appreciate how far I can go before I hurt him.

Before it becomes public and humiliating.

What I'm trying to say is I need your help.

For both our sakes.

I know it's a lot to ask.

All right.

I'll do what I can.

But I'm working for your husband, right?

Well, personally, I'll find the 87 of truffle brackish for my taste.

Yes, Harry.

Bloody hell.

6 .95 a bottle. I mean, that's cheap.

Too bloody cheap if I asked for it.

A bargain, I'd say.

Wouldn't you, Miss Cobb?

May I call you Brian?

Yes.

Twice in one day.

It's a small community.

People will talk.

This is my editor, Lionel Baxter.

Alex Cavendish.

How do you do? Pleasure.

I'd look after her if I was you, Lionel.

Handcuff her to the desk or something.

Yes, I'm thinking about it.

Excuse me.

Lionel. Do I look like a lionel? Shall we? She

had

dinner here last Saturday night.

Oh, crepe Suzette. Pardon?

Well, that's what we called her.

Do you know she ordered crepe suzette at 5 to 11 on a Saturday night?

The chef wasn't best pleased, I can tell you.

I'm sure he wasn't.

Only I'm trying to keep this confidential, mate.

I'm sold as Christian.

Well, they got robbed leaving here.

There's obviously someone lying in wait.

They must have known they were eating here.

Did you keep a note of bookings?

Yes, the time they were made and who took the bookings in case of a

So would they have booked that afternoon?

On a Saturday? Impossible.

They'd have had to make the booking at least a week before.

It's our busiest night.

No, your Mr Cavendish made his booking on a Wednesday.

Wednesday? Yes, and he ordered a window table and a bottle of champagne.

We pride ourselves on the personal touch.

Hey, I'm going to start charging interest.

Look, it's under control.

She's worried, all right.

It's just going to take time. We haven't got time.

You can't get this sort of money from a cash point. Friday, all right?

You'd better keep the pressure up from your end.

Should be able to manage that.

Alex Cavendish is in trouble, Kev.

Believe me, I can read the signs.

He's selling his entire stock at rock -bottom prices.

Well, there you go. That's his motive.

Exactly. Set the whole thing up, give her a shoulder to cry on, just to make

sure she coughs up.

I'm going to have to warn Pamela.

Well, don't you mean her husband?

Well, he's your client. He's the one who's paying you. Yeah.

No.

Oh, nothing, Ken. Nothing, nothing. No, she's a lovely -looking lady.

Laura?

Did you get me that lager?

I'm sorry, Harry.

What?

It's smudger.

He said if the drum wasn't good enough for the office Christmas party, then you

needn't bother drinking here anymore.

You're banned, Harry.

This is definitely it.

Well, go on, then.

I can't.

Why? I'm on the threshold of my destiny here.

My dad might be behind that door.

Yeah.

You know, Rocky, I'm beginning to think that there's something in the concept of

the weaker sex.

Be strong for me, Rocky.

You go.

The boy, then.

You're wasting your time, love. He's been dead six months.

Good job, Tilly.

Now, let's have a look at that photo.

Help yourself to tea.

Thank you.

Oh, yes.

Yes, I found Michael all right.

Oh, he was a great disappointment to me.

I used to think he was a bit, you know...

And then Marion Hedges told me that she was having his baby. Well, I was quite

pleased, in a way. At least he got something right.

Then, of course, he ran off to India to find himself.

No spine.

Just like his father.

I suppose that's what this is all about.

Yes, yes, it is.

You're not it. No, no, not me.

You've got a granddaughter.

Hello?

Oh, I'll see if she's free.

Is it for me? Yes, it's a Dr Crawford, Mrs Drake, at the surgery.

Dr Crawford? That's what he said.

I'll take a look at that.

She's just coming.

I don't believe you.

Look, Alex booked that table last Wednesday at a quiet country hotel, a

lane.

Ideal for a robbery.

Why do you think he wanted to drive?

Because I was over the limit.

He couldn't risk you being stopped or writing off the car.

My assistant saw them together. All right, all right.

I'm sorry, but I had to tell you.

Come on, I can take you home.

No, not yet.

I can't face Lawrence. I need time to think.

You can't stay out here. You're freezing to death.

I'll take you somewhere warm.

I've been thinking, you know, we've got no choice.

We don't know the sort of people we're up against.

You'll have to go to the police eventually.

I will tell Lawrence.

But I'll tell him in my own time, all right?

You won't show him those photographs, will you?

Well, they haven't been developed yet.

But he's my client.

I mean, he's going to want an update sooner or later.

I could talk about it in a minute. I'll get some more work.

That was quick.

Yeah, it's late.

I really ought to go.

Lawrence will worry about me.

Yeah, yeah.

Thanks for your advice.

Good night.

You just left.

I think I can arrange that.

Oh, what time is it?

Bad dreams.

What's the matter?

Well, I've been thinking.

I'm going to tell Lawrence everything.

I thought that was the last thing you wanted to do.

Well, all this has made me realize...

I don't want to be his nursemaid any longer.

I want you.

It's a big step, darling.

You can't go making decisions like that overnight.

Money isn't everything.

I thought you'd be pleased.

I am.

Of course I'm pleased. It's a bit of a shock, two in the morning.

I think we need to talk about it a bit more.

I'll go make some coffee.

Make it something stronger.

I feel like celebrating.

bitch wants to leave her husband. She wants to come and live with me.

Well, she's bound to tell him everything, isn't she? And he's bound to

the police.

Well, I think that's your problem, isn't it?

Look, why don't we just give her the jewels back?

Now, why would we want to do that?

Look, Ralph, you told me there was no risk of the police being involved. Now,

don't want any more to do with this. I just want out. Please!

Can't they not compare? Two o 'clock in the morning and they're in the bathroom.

What's the matter?

I was just thinking.

I've never woken up next to you before.

I was wondering what it would feel like.

Brought you some tea, darling.

Thank you.

You look tired.

Too many late nights.

We'll be having many more of them.

Take care of yourself.

I don't want to lose you, you know.

Now.

What the hell's going on?

You're on a case, Mr. Poon.

I'm on about a dozen cases.

Oh, dear.

Maybe you'd better drop the lot then, eh?

Just to be on the safe side.

Merry Christmas, Mr Boone.

Ken, are you all right?

Yeah, are you all right? What's this?

Ken!

Ken, mate.

What happened?

Well, what's it look like?

So where are you going now? I'm going to pay a visit to that Mr Callandish. Oh,

don't be ridiculous.

I'm not letting him get away with it.

Well, I hope she's worth it.

Oh.

Look at my train.

Yeah?

Callandish?

I'm saying nothing.

You must make up your own mind.

Good morning, Caroline.

Hello, Ms Whitfield.

I'll tell Michael you're here.

Well, you've done it, Rocky. You've got me here. How do you feel?

Sick. You can go in now.

I don't know if I can go through with it.

Of course you can, love.

You're a Whitfield.

So what does he do, then?

He's the frozen chicken king of the East Midlands, love.

Blimey. He hit the jackpot with his oven -baked crispy goujons.

He's gone from strength to strength.

I thought he was a bit of a, you know, hippie.

Well, look at Richard Branson, lovey.

Hmm.

What you're talking about, I didn't mess up your office.

That's what you thought. Yeah, you used a camera, didn't you? The jewels, the

whole set -up, the whole bloody thing. You can't deny that.

I can't deny it.

I didn't know it was going to get out of hand, did I?

I had debts, for God's sake. I needed the money.

So you dreamed up this little scheme, did you? No, I didn't dream up this

scheme. They came to me. Pamela and I were already having an affair.

No police, no risks.

How was I to know it was going to end up like this?

But surely you knew this would hurt her.

What do you think Pamela is, Mr Boone?

She wanted me, she wanted Lawrence.

She didn't lose any sleep over it. It's not her style.

Well, what's all this about, then?

I telephoned them last night, told them I didn't want anything more to do with

it.

Perhaps they took a bait.

What changed your mind?

She was going to tell Lawrence.

You'd have gone to the police.

Well, what was I supposed to do about it? She was there half the night telling

me I was the only man in her life.

Pamela told you that? Yes.

Wait a minute.

She was here last night.

Yes.

Right.

I was afraid this would happen.

He offered me everything.

A flat, a car, a job with the company.

He even asked me if I wanted to go to Barbados with him for Christmas.

That sounds like Michael.

Well, that's brilliant Pandora.

It's terrible.

You what?

He's the complete antithesis of me mother.

Opposite, love.

Oh.

Only a raging materialist would put a price on his own daughter's head.

You're not hiding anything from me, are you?

Haven't got any crypto -fascist tendencies yourself, have you?

I don't think so, love.

So? I'm still on me own.

What, you mean you're going to turn all this lot down?

I might not have much else, Rocky, but I've still got me principles.

And your gran.

There's only my knitting machine in the spare room.

Rocky can soon shift it.

Oh,

sorry, mate.

No, it's all right. It's my fault.

What now?

I'm going to do something I should have done a long time ago, mate.

Mr. Boone, come in.

Sit down.

I'd rather not, thanks.

As you wish.

Um, I find this rather difficult to tell you, but... I thought your

wife would keep her promise, but I was wrong.

Your first suspicions were right.

She was having an affair.

Unfortunately, she wasn't too careful about choosing her lover.

I've made out a report, isn't there?

I hope it's all there and I'm sorry.

No need to be sorry, Mr Boone.

You see, I've known about my wife's lover for the past six months.

Oh, I knew she'd never have believed me if I'd tried to tell her the sort of man

he was.

Money's a great motivator, Mr Boone.

Alex Cavendish was very short of it.

All it needed was a little temptation, a little greed.

Oh, and of course, you, to convince her.

Oh, darling.

I'm sorry.

You know, these were meant to be a surprise for Christmas.

Mr. Boone has spunked that rather.

Pamela knows she's better off with me, don't you, Donald?

She made a mistake.

She understands that now.

Are you telling me you set all that up?

Alex, the jewels, my office, everything?

Well, I am very sorry about your office, Mr. Boone. That was never meant to

happen.

But I hired you to follow her.

Hand over the evidence to me.

Well, unfortunately, she spotted you.

And you broke the rule rules, I'm afraid.

You're really only yourself to blame.

Anyway.

A little bit more than cover the damage.

You can't buy me, mate.

Go on, take it. You've earned it.

You've got what you wanted.

That's not a necklace.

It's a leash.

God, if you had any sense, you'd leave him.

Why should I want to do that?

He's just buying you, love.

The house, the money, the lifestyle.

Is this really what you want?

Where is everybody?

Has that got for you at all?

Shh.

What's happened to everyone?

None of Harry's posh friends have turned up and Smudge has organised a tartan

vicar's party down at the drum.

I hope this is going to be worth it. I've missed Coronation Street for this.

Laura, this is Mrs Whitfield, Pandora's granny.

Come on, I'll get you a drink.

You'll catch your death like that.

I'll kill that smudger. I'll bloody kill him.

You get to know people, you think they're going to do all right by you,

they dump on you.

Don't tell me.

Do you want to tell me what happened?

Particularly nasty job.

Not worth talking about.

Hey!

This is supposed to be fancy dress, you know.

Will I do? Oh, very imaginative, Ken. Very imaginative, that is, yeah.

They're not coming, are they?

Oh, come on. We've got a load of chibbolatas to get through.

Merry Christmas mate!

Merry Christmas Santa!

Well, how much did that cost?

Did you realize that?

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