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Sometimes I said, yeah, feeling alone
No one to talk to, I got no telephone
speaking to an answering machine.
My name is Marjorie Keverton.
I'm looking after my uncle's affairs for the time being.
Please leave a message after the tone and I'll return your call as soon as
possible.
Hi, Dominic here.
Listen, I've got some checks I need you to sign for the contracts on the new
offices. I'll send them up today.
Get in touch when you're back in London, will you?
And when are you coming back?
Listen, I've got to fly.
Give us a call.
Bye.
Peter, he's phoned again.
I don't bloody care. It's different this time. He's following me.
It's not too late to book one of those minibreaks in Lanzarote or somewhere.
No, I'm going to go home. I'm going to put my feet up and I'm going to do
absolutely nothing for a whole week.
A bit like you, Rocky.
It's not my fault. There's nothing to do, you know.
You're really going to do nothing?
Well, you've got to know when to stop, Laura.
No, it's seven days of meditation and relaxation for me.
Very mystical.
Never knew you were such an old hippie, Harry.
Mr. Heyman, please.
Peter, you tell him.
I want to see him today.
I don't care. Tell him I'll meet him outside the gates at four o 'clock.
All right?
What are we doing this for, anyway?
You knew Geoffrey Keverton, didn't you?
Oh, are you ever so slight?
Well, there you are. You're paying your last respects.
What? I want you to keep an eye out. See if you recognise anyone.
Whoever's making these calls to his niece might turn up.
He's been receiving threatening telecom calls.
Yeah, usual sort of perv stuff. Only this one reckons he's owed something.
Something about an unpaid debt.
Not very likely, Ken.
But you have the key with you.
Where's the bob or two?
Yeah, he did buy up a dump of an arcade, eh? Make a slot machine empire out of
it. Quite a pinball wizard.
Could be protection money.
Nasty sharks for him in them waters.
She's the only relative he's got.
She's badly shaken by all this.
Mr Boone?
Yes, that's right, hello.
This is my partner, Mr Crawford.
Miss Cuban, I knew your uncle very slightly.
Please accept my sincere condolences.
Oh, thank you very much, Mr Crawford. He is... was... He will be sorely missed.
That's really all right, Mr Crawford. We weren't very close.
Mr. Hayman tells me you've had another phone call. Oh, too bloody right.
been another call. And what are you doing about it, I'd like to know. Peter,
sure Mr. Boone is doing his best. That's what worries me.
His best seems worth very little. Look, I haven't got a lot to go by.
I suppose it was all for the sake of a laugh that he was following her, was it?
What? The last phone call.
He knew where I'd been. He'd obviously been following me. Well, that's
different.
I'd like to hear that, if I could.
You're sure we won't be putting you out?
A bit heavy, isn't he?
Her boyfriend?
That's not her boyfriend, mate.
Much worse.
That's her solicitor.
They're waiting, you know.
Debt must be settled.
We'll speak again soon.
Well, was there anything in your uncle's papers that would suggest he owed
someone money?
My uncle kept very detailed accounts, but nothing.
I think Ken means the sort of debt that you don't keep accounts for.
Are you suggesting that my clan's uncle was involved in something unsavoury?
Peter, Mr Crawford's absolutely right. Of course there's a possibility that he
might have owed this creep something.
The point is, he won't say what.
And I don't relish the idea of a madman spying on me, Mr. Crawford.
Please, call me Harry.
Meanwhile, I want some protection arranged for Marjorie.
Protection? Yes, I want a 24 -hour guard.
You can adjust your fees accordingly.
Well, yes, but that's a bit... I think that's a reasonable precaution, Kit.
How long do you think I'd get for GBH on a business partner?
You've got a point, though, Ken.
How would you feel if something were to happen to her? Oh, do me a favour.
When are we going to get all that manpower? A 24 -hour watch?
Well, I'm not doing anything for a week.
I could do the occasional stint.
It might be quite exciting.
Quite exciting?
Oh, happy that I should meet
me comely sweetheart.
Harry Wolfe.
Joe and Callum were just singing us a song.
This is Mr Crawford and Mr Boone.
This is Mr Trevelyan and his son.
Who do?
Just call me Joe.
Hello, Joe.
This is Callum. Hi.
How do?
No.
Which one of you two is Ken, the detective?
Right, well, let me get this straight. You want me to find Clara Bow.
Clara Bow.
Clara Burr.
And Clara is a dog.
A dog?
Who's gone missing.
Been stolen.
From somewhere called Holt Whistle.
Five banks.
So, uh, you know who stole the dog?
Ken, this isn't just any old derg.
Clara Burr is a championship derg.
Never lost a trial yet?
Never.
So, someone's stolen your valuable sheep, dog.
Why are you looking round here?
Well, it was a trial, though may it sell well.
It was too clear a bull.
There was this farmer there, you see, from around these parts.
And when he'd gone, so had clear a bull. Shifty -looking bugger he was.
He'd shot the candy hair.
What it comes down to, Ken, is my last pains for that dog. And I've got to get
him back. No,
I've not got much.
But I'm prepared to pay you whatever it takes to fail me.
Look, I'm sorry. I have got a lot on. I did tell you.
Oh, all right.
Rocky!
Yeah? I think I've found something to keep you busy.
What time is it?
Two o 'clock.
Oh, great.
Five hours to go.
It's like being in one of those American cop series, isn't it? You know, Starsky
and Hutch and all that.
Very Starsky and Hutch.
Only it's hardly downtown L .A. in a Buick.
Do you want some soup?
What is it?
Oxtail.
Not for me, Starsky, mate.
You let me know when you spot an urban terrorist.
Ken?
Can I have a word?
OK. How did you get on with the dog?
Well, actually, it's Joe and Cal I've come to have a word about.
See, they were robbed last night at their hotel.
Well, how'd they manage that?
Oh, I don't know.
I guess they're just not used to locking the doors, you know.
Anyway, Joe's having some money sent down to pay for our fee, and, well,
see, they've got nowhere to stay in the meantime.
So I said to Cal I'd try and find him some place at my digs.
Very Samaritan of you, Rocky.
Yeah.
Laura suggested that you might be prepared to put Joe up for a couple of
now that you're working on nights, like.
No chance, mate.
Yeah, that's what I thought.
Only trouble is, Jo was there, you see, when she said it.
And he kind of assumed that you were going to say yes.
And he's in the office.
Are you all right, Ken?
I hear we're going to be shipmates.
This I've got to see.
Don't see wet in your whistle.
Must be a bit spooky being in a big house like that on your own.
She's got spirit, I'll say that for her.
She's got a few bob, Harry.
Could do worse.
I'm not with you.
Oh, come on, every time you see her, you behave like a fifth former on his first
date.
Don't talk rubbish.
Well, what's all this about, then, eh? Giving up your holiday to watch over
Nothing wrong with that, mind.
She's a very attractive woman.
There's only two of us.
Aye.
I'm not over enamoured with the neck oil.
Look, if you've had all your money in it, Troy, how come you can afford all
this? I always keep a few barbed in my socks for emergencies.
Oh.
Hey, you don't get many like that in five banks.
I suppose not.
Cattle.
I mean, this could be the alliance of two mighty dynasties, Crawford and
Keverton. Nice ring to it.
Well, do stop going on about it.
It's purely business.
The very idea.
Nothing could be further from my mind.
But she is very nice, though, isn't she?
I thought you shepherd types were the rise of the lark.
Ken?
Ken?
I don't believe this.
What is it?
It's Rocky and Callum. They've been arrested.
Well, six of one, half a dozen of the other, really.
Seems like your lad had a few too many and chatted up the wrong pair of lasses.
Hey, it'll do them both good to spend a night under the club.
Here they come.
Butcher and Sundance.
Sorry, Ken.
How do, Ken? Let's get some breakfast. I'm starving.
Probably only talking business.
Soup.
I'm getting too old for this lark, Harry.
Harry, please let me sleep.
Somebody just snuck up the driveway.
They got out of that van there and they've gone into the ground.
Follow them down slowly.
Hold it, mate.
Hurry.
You okay?
Yes, I'm all right. Get up there.
Oh, sorry, am I hurting you? No, no, it's fine. Come on, come on.
Oh. I thought you were very brave.
Bloody hell.
Hey, come on. Even Starsky needs his sleep.
Yeah.
Night, Ken.
Night.
Hey, now, don't worry about a thing, because Dave and Malcolm are right
all right?
Night, Harry.
And thank you.
Oh,
I'm sorry, Ken. I'm looking for a light.
God, where did you get that? Out the trunk?
Oh, it's a habit of 20 years standing, Ken.
Last one at night, fourth one in the morning.
Hey.
I didn't know your private investigator allowed you to shoot us.
Joe found it in the lining of the jacket I pulled off that bloke last night.
Don't worry.
I better get round there, don't I?
Keep an eye out.
You sure?
So to speak.
Don't go frightening the life out of her with that.
No, you're right, Ken. You're absolutely right.
I couldn't think, Harry. Sit down. You're making me nervous.
Oh, yes, of course.
I'm sorry.
No, I'm sorry. I really appreciate what you're doing for me.
Crawford Boone security.
I mean, that's what we're here for.
Well, I've been through all this stuff and there's nothing.
He seems to have led an utterly blameless life.
Look, I've been thinking.
What with me having to keep an eye on you and us being thrown together,
professionally, I mean, I was wondering if you'd care to, you know, if
you're not too busy.
Are you asking me for a date?
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
No,
it's just that I've got some tickets for a charity do at lunchtime.
Oh, it's nothing very special, just a crate of champagne and a... Afternoon at
the races, you know.
I'd love to.
Great.
Right, all, I'll see you about one.
Why, are you going?
No.
Oh, see what you mean.
Hi.
This is it.
I haven't seen one of those for donkey years.
Well, what is it?
Franchible plastic.
Toy, basically.
They disintegrate on impact.
They never used to make them that realistic.
Helps the punter think of James Bond, I suppose.
Punter? What punter?
At the fairground.
These are on fairs.
You know, pop, pop, when you've had a little toy.
Right. Thank you.
Hello. You coming or going?
I'm a lot.
Packing or unpacking?
Oh, we'll see what you mean.
No, we open on Monday, Ducks.
Come and bring the family.
I haven't got one.
Not married.
What, handsome fella like you?
Nah, no one will have me.
Oh, leave off.
I used to love this when I was a kid.
Oh, do you want to charge your arm again?
Is that all right?
Of course he did. Get on.
Right.
Oh, yeah. I remember.
I bet Al Capone's shivering in his shoes.
Yeah, well, it's a bit cold, isn't it?
Cup of tea warm you up?
Yeah.
I've got one brewing in the caravan.
Call that a caravan?
More like a stately home.
So what are we going to go for next time? Well, I quite fancy a lamb's
He likes off -going, I'm told.
You know, Harry, I was feeling really cooped up in that house.
Maybe we should do this more often, eh?
One date at a time, eh? Oh, so this is a date we're on, is it?
Marjorie, what on earth are you doing here?
Oh, hello, Peter.
Crawford, I says. What a nasty eye you've got there.
Good to see you're earning your pay.
Come to that, what are you doing here?
Well, a friend of mine has got some horses running this afternoon.
You stay long?
Oh, yes, all afternoon. Why don't we spend it together?
There we go.
Lovely place you've got here, Pat.
Most people think we're gypsies, you know, Ken.
I've always liked to keep a nice tidy home.
Yeah, I'd say. It's like a penthouse in here.
You've been in this game all your life?
Oh, it's not a game, Ken.
It's tradition.
Do you know, my great -grandfather, Alfred, he took his shows as far away as
Russia.
And my mum and dad met in a fair.
Actually, he proposed to her on that very water out there. Never.
Honest, he did.
He popped the question that he had to wait for a full revolution before he got
the answer.
Have a biscuit?
Yeah, thanks.
So, um, you've just got the rifle range now? Oh, no.
We've got the coconuts.
And then we got a fourth share in the ghost train.
And Ian's saving up to buy himself a share in the slot machine stall.
It's run by the Mabbots.
Is Ian your husband, then?
No. He's my grandson.
Oh, I'm sorry. Next generation, eh? Yeah, but he's got Sherman's blood in
veins, all right.
Is that him?
Have you got anything on this one, Crawford? Oh, yes. Harry and I got ten
on Laughing Gravy.
Laughing Gravy.
I don't want to dash your hopes, but Wild Peaches is one of my friend's
Should win this one running backwards.
Wild peaches.
Wild peaches. Wild peaches. Wild peaches. Wild peaches. Wild peaches.
peaches. Wild peaches.
Shall we go to the winner's enclosure?
I'll introduce you.
You don't mind your corporate, only my past only elides myself and the guests.
Didn't know they were letting the lower orders in this enclosure.
Graham, I've seen you for ages.
What's your handicap these days? Down to 14.
Oh, still cheating, are you? Well,
I can see you've got their handicap.
Eh? The little looker you turned up with today.
Well, I... Just business.
Oh. Well, I hope your business doesn't involve that pig, Hayman.
Oh, you know him, do you?
Sadly, yes.
He had a run -in with a friend of mine about a year ago.
Pretty nearly ruined him.
He is one of the shiftiest corporate lawyers in the Midlands.
Tell me more, Graham, tell me more.
It's
about
six foot four, medium build, brown hair.
Sorry I can't help you.
We don't do any business in playgrounds.
Yeah, all right. Well, thanks for your help, mate. I can see you're busy.
Oh, don't ask me.
I'm being run off on feet.
We all get days like that. I manage these three shops, but I used to manage
Why is that, then?
Your Miss Keverton is busy buying up arcades all over the place.
It's hard to keep up with it.
Is she, now?
Anyway, it would seem that this Hayman bloke is one of the biggest villains
ever issued a writ.
You name it, he's done it.
Are you knocking? Yes, I'm knocking. Knock, knock.
That's very interesting, Harry.
Why?
Is that another knock? Yes, it's another knock.
Are you manufacturing these under the table?
Because I've found out that Marjorie Keeverton is buying up arcades left,
and centre, and I want to know why.
I also want to know who Ian Gorham is.
Who is Ian Gorham at his hotel?
For a start, he's the bloke that smacked you in the eye last night.
And I've found him.
Yes.
Camouflage.
What's this?
Rump steak.
Don't be a brat.
Clara, boo.
Clara, come on. Come on, good dog. Good dog. Come on, Clara, boo. Good boy.
Ian, can I have a word with you?
Hey, come on, steady on.
That's my tool.
You leave me here, I'll give you what I gave you, mate. Just calm down.
Put that away.
Just... I haven't done nothing wrong. Nothing wrong?
Assault, housebreaking, nothing wrong?
He grabbed me first. I was defending myself.
You were breaking into Miss Keverton's house.
Ain't no house. That's all you're wrong. My house. What are you talking about?
Keverton wasn't her father, was he? But he was my father.
Maybe that makes it my house.
Maybe it was her that was housebreaking.
He was never cut out to be a showman, you know.
Not Geoffrey Keverton.
And my daughter, Grace.
She was in love with him, she thought, but I knew they was never right for each
other.
But don't get me wrong, she missed him like an arm when he left her.
Yeah, I'm sure.
And then, of course, well, these things happened. She found she was expecting
little Ian here.
So what happened?
He took all the colour out of my girl, did you ever give it to him?
He took it right out.
She never got that spark back to the day she died.
I'm sorry.
Well, it happens.
And then I ran into Geoffrey Keverton again.
He got arcades all over the place.
So I thought, he ought to be looking after Ian.
I mean, he is or was his son.
So I wrote to him about Ian.
What did he do?
He was a fair man, Geoffrey.
He sent me money every month for 20 years, and he was very generous too.
But, you see, he made a whole new life for himself.
I mean, he'd remarried by that time, so he could never recognise Ian as his son,
but I didn't mind.
What happened after his death?
She owes us, she does. She pays our money still.
Not our fault he died.
Thank you, Ian.
He loses his temper easy, you know.
You said he remarried.
Was he married to your daughter?
Of course they was married.
Bloody cheek.
I don't know what you mean, Ken. I don't know what you're getting at. Look,
Keberton dies, right?
Marjorie, as the only relative, stands to inherit the entire estate.
But say she wasn't the only relation.
Say, there was somebody else with a perfectly legitimate claim.
Ian Feverton. Exactly.
And what do you suppose Marjorie and her solicitor are going to do when they
find out? Big spanners in the works. What do they do?
What? Flog the company, quick.
Oh, it's ridiculous, Ken. You've no proof.
Why do you think she spends night after night in there going through his papers?
Why?
Evidence. What kind of evidence?
Evidence Ian exists.
Why? So they can destroy it.
And they'd get the entire keyboard and company.
But you just said that she'd buy another business if she's expanding.
What do you do with a goose before you take it to market?
Fratten it.
I've just been charged with theft.
It wasn't Callum's dog.
Where's Callum now?
He's done a bunk.
Is something wrong?
Marjorie, can I ask you a question?
Mm, of course.
What are your plans, you know, for the company?
Well, for the future, I suppose.
I don't know.
I sort of hoped you wouldn't ask me that.
Peter's advised me to sell.
I see.
What with all the...
threats and everything, I... I think it'd be the best thing to do.
I hope you understand.
Oh, yes.
Oh, yes, I understand.
I'll get the bill.
Cheers, Alan.
Yeah, I'm sorry about that.
You alright?
I felt better.
I'm buggered if we're going to let him get away with it, eh?
Crawford Boone Security.
Ken, it's Marjorie Cleaverton.
I found them in the back of the writing desk.
This must be what we're looking for.
The payments go back for years, always to the same man, always in cash.
Look, 6th of the 7th, 1985, Pat Gorin, ยฃ200.
8th of the 8th, Pat Gorin, ยฃ200.
Isn't it obvious this man must be blackmailing him or something?
Yes, it is a strong possibility.
Well, what else could explain it?
Everything else has been accounted for.
Well, perhaps he's trying to avoid the taxman.
You and Mr. Hayman know about this?
No, you're the first.
It's clearly some form of blackmail.
The question is, how do we find this Pat Gorin?
I don't care how you find her. As much money as it takes, you have complete
carte blanche.
Well, that's good to know.
I'm sure I will be able to find her.
Now, wait a minute, Ken. Let's get this straight.
Now, if Marjorie knew that Ian was going to inherit the estate, why did she show
you those two notebooks?
Exactly. It doesn't make sense, does it? I mean, here am I, practically going
around calling them all thieves, and now you're going to tell me they're
innocent. Not they. She.
Come again.
Look, when Marjorie showed me those notebooks, she was under the impression
Gorham was a fella.
Heyman, on the other hand, knew it was a woman.
How?
I think it's about time I put the squeeze on Mr. Heyman.
I want you to go round and see Marjorie.
Motherbug!
What are you doing here?
How do, Rock?
Peter. Marjorie.
I think we may have some good news.
Mr Crawford came round and told me they've had some luck with his Goran
character.
Oh, right.
Um, let me just get a pen.
It seems that there's someone of that name registered with the Showman's
The thing is, Mr Boone wants to know if he should contact the police now or wait
until he's actually found them. He'd like your instructions.
Well, I think we should delay police involvement until we have something
concrete for them to go on.
Fine. I'll tell him.
Good news, eh?
Marvellous news.
Bye.
Ian.
What are you doing here?
We need to talk now.
Why? That's what I don't understand.
I mean, was it all some sort of practical joke?
There's no joke about Clara Boer.
Best sheep derg this side of the pennies.
Yeah, but why make it one day and then bring it back the next?
Look at the derg.
Note the gleam in his eye.
Bushy tail.
Do I have to draw you a diagram?
In nine weeks' time, we should be hearing the patter of tiny champion
The stud.
Let's get him back to the Garnet's farm.
For the Carly, didn't it, Pearl?
Look, I'll try and keep it simple.
You can still inherit your father's estate and more, but you are going to
to disappear for a while.
What do you mean, disappear?
The man who chased you at Keybiton's was an investigator. It's absolutely vital
that he doesn't establish a link between you and me.
What if he follows me again?
What if who follows you? The investigator man, Mr Boone. He followed
could find me again.
Boone followed you here? You've met Boone?
You didn't know Ian and I were old mates, did you?
What's going on?
I don't understand.
Don't you think he deserves a fuller explanation, eh?
What Mr. Hayman's been up to could land you two a lot of years of morning
porridge.
At Her Majesty's pleasure.
In the nick.
Jail. Like I say, I don't want to end up in no trouble. Don't you worry, Ian. I
just want a little chat with Mr. Hayman.
Yes. Why not?
An uninterrupted shot.
Look here, fool. You've got no bloody right to shot me in this thing.
I wanted to make sure I had your undivided attention.
And I'm prepared to sit up here all day if necessary.
Well, I suppose this must all seem a little strange to you, Mr Boone. No, not
the least, because I know exactly what you've been up to.
Oh, which is?
Getting Marjorie to expand the company.
There's no secret about that.
Triton the life out of her.
Force her to sell it.
Having put all her hard -earned cash into it, you introduce Ian, the rightful
heir to the throne. What possible benefit could that be to me?
Oh, come on, old boy. Ten percent of that estate, that's nearly 300 grand.
Mr. Boone, I wonder if we could come to some arrangement. I'm thinking, you
know, in terms of a bribe.
You people, you really don't give a monkey's, do you?
You wouldn't raise a twitch of doubt about what you've been doing?
Well, since we're speaking plainly, no.
You see, nobody's entitled to money if you don't have it.
You have to be clever enough to get it.
And if you do have it, you have to be clever enough to hang on to it.
And I happen to be clever at both.
Not for much longer, Peter.
I've got you by the short and curly.
Let's talk about other people for a change and what might be a fair deal for
them.
I just wanted to say that you giving up half the estate like that...
I really respect you for it.
I'm a businesswoman, Harry. Half an estate is better than none.
Well, if, uh... If you're ever in Nottingham...
Not very likely.
No.
Well, I've talked it through with Marjorie. She's agreed.
It's the simplest course of action.
She's going to withdraw all her expenses incurred by buying up the other
companies. And the estate stays as it was at Geoffrey's death. It's going to
split down the middle between Ian and Marjorie.
You're a rich man now, boy.
Did you catch her in time?
Yeah.
How'd it go?
Oh, you know the sort of thing.
Yeah.
When some lose, some will, huh?
I know the sort of thing, Harry.
Here, get your drink. Gina.
Large scotch, please.
Whoa!
Such a candy lass I couldn't pass as my leg at the fair.
Oh, happily that I should meet me cuddly sweetheart there.
I don't believe it.
Hello, shipmate.
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