Original subtitles

Sometimes I said, yeah, feeling alone

No one to talk to, I got no telephone

Ken Boone, preliminary investigation, Dawnford Hall.

I'm going after Sinclair Lewis.

I'm at the stream.

Dead fish everywhere.

The water stinks.

Grass is a mess.

And it's bad.

I've been up and down the river. There's no obvious source of pollution as yet.

Come on.

I'm down at the quarry now, and I can't see anything.

I

wouldn't

have thought that barbed wire and outstations would come out of your

Harry. Yeah, well, that's only a small part of what I've got in mind, Sponge.

A small part.

You see, security is the buzzword of the 90s. Look at the latest crime figures.

You're still a far cry from Woodcourt Park.

No, no, I see it more as a natural progression.

Any fool can see that a lot of people over recent years have acquired a lot of

assets, and they need looking after. You see, and that's where I come in. Look

at that, look at that.

You're secure with Crawford security.

Catch you that, innit?

Oh, very, yeah.

You're secure with Crawford security.

I'm a phoenix, much, that's what I am, a phoenix. Oh, I see. A mythical bird

rises up out of the ashes. Ah.

Harry Crawford, entrepreneur and phoenix.

Well, contracts are rolling in, aren't they? That's very nice.

Well, no. No, not at the moment, Smudge, not at the moment. But they will, they

will, they will, they will.

Searching for a man called Boone.

Arrangement.

You be the mule, I'll be the plough. Come harvest time, we'll work it out.

There's still a lot of love here in Troublefield.

You were great.

What did you think of her? Yeah, she was great.

Didn't exactly sell out, though, did we?

Yeah, well, that's Wood's fault. Too mean to advertise. But you were

honest. I'm trying to get her to join the band on a permanent basis. You know

what I mean? Go for it.

Give over. It's just a bit of fun and a bit of extra money. Nothing more.

No. No.

I can see your name in lights now.

Laura Meatloaf. The bat out of all.

I think you're on my land.

I think you're right.

I can't explain everything.

I'm... I'm burned.

This is very good of you.

I heard you had some stables up here and I'm looking for somewhere for the old

horse.

What's his name?

Doble Dancer.

Dancer?

Okay.

He's limping, you know.

Yeah, well, he must have got that down the quarry.

Um, look, Mrs, uh... Tadeusz.

Your honour, Tadeusz. Right, Mrs, uh, Tadeusz.

Uh, can I leave Dancer here overnight and come back in the morning? I mean, I

need to stable her somewhere.

Okay. I would like to have you, Dancer.

Stay here, Boone.

I'll call you a taxi.

I'd rather you called me Ken.

Stamford Hall.

Ten years ago it was a school, prep school, second grade.

Two years ago, bought by a Polish lady.

We've been through this, Dr Lewis. Thank you, Rocky.

Polish lady.

Today, a rainer. England, two years. Cultivates the local gentry.

Dinners, dances, what not.

Since March, environmental groups...

monitor abnormal levels of toxicity in the water from today's land.

Analyzed, the contaminant suggests dumping of toxic waste illegally.

Blimey, can you turn off with me?

Well, so it should. You've just fallen in love, so what?

Have you seen the stream, mate?

City, mate, I'll swim in it.

Who's this?

Oh, this is Simon, nodding in green action.

No last names, boon.

Well, unfortunately, I lost my tape recorder, but I did fine, Mrs Hedayosh.

And I'm going to stable my horse up at her house, get to know the place, look

around, see if I can find out where the pollution comes from, all right?

And if it's all right with the Nottingham Green Action, no last names,

I'm going home because my head hurts

and I smell.

Commercial surveillance, Ken.

Security for conferences, receptions, exhibitions.

Uniformed and plain clothes.

And later on, we can diversify into warehousing, storage facilities.

Yeah, great, Harry, but you're going to have to convince the bank, mate, not me.

Oh, Ken, I've studied it in detail.

There's infrared alarms, there's sonic alarms, there's static cameras, there's

remote control cameras.

Look, mate, it's all in there.

Yeah, fine, until it's up and running, I mean, I'm going to have to cram my

office into whatever available space will take me. Yeah, trust me, Ken, trust

me.

And that's for the banks. There's a gap in the market. I've spotted it. I've got

a good track record.

Now, the difference between success and failure is having the courage to put

your money where your mouth is.

Now, me, I don't just muddle along. I go out there, I take risks.

And fall flat on your backside.

Oh. Come on, we're going to be late.

I shouldn't have given up that lease on my office.

Have faith, Ken, have faith.

You mean he's been given the bullet?

Oh, we prefer to call it early retirement.

Look, I'm sorry, I know this is inconvenient, but all Mr Johnson's

been passed on to me.

Now, with regard to your loan application, I'm afraid we really do

from scratch.

The sum applied for is substantial.

The initial capital outlay is high, yes.

But then we're dealing with very sophisticated, state -of -the -art

equipment. And I've already got a contact who will supply me at a very

reasonable discount.

I'm sure that it would... And the overheads are very low.

Because the main workforce is all freelance.

Hired as and when required.

There's room on the site for subletting and the terms of the lease are very

reasonable, as you can see there.

Five years ago, Mr Crawford, we would have welcomed such a scheme as this.

But...

Hard times are upon us.

Rising interest rates, competition, and 1992 just around the corner.

We have to think small and be realistic.

I've built up some very successful businesses in the past, and I don't

thinking small about any of them.

Come on.

I'll tell you what I can do.

I'd be more than happy to put your proposal to our area manager and see

has to say.

In other words, the answer is no.

Yes. No, temporarily.

I'm sorry.

Ken can't be serious.

How are we expected to work in here? It's not even an office, for God's sake.

He's waiting for me to get the new place ready.

Look at me.

I'm 23 and I'm working for the world's worst businessman.

It's not Ken's fault.

Yes, it is.

He should have found somewhere else himself.

Relying on Harry is always a disaster.

He should know that.

Is Harry temporary?

Harry's been arranging to leave that site for ages.

And what's happened?

A big, fat nothing.

79 -year -old Brigadier Andrew Charles is now in intensive care after being

viciously attacked by burglars who broke into his home, Arnton Manor, last

night. The thieves were able to bypass alarm systems, but were challenged by

brigadier. This is the fourth such robbery in as many months, and police

warning people living in isolated areas to be especially vigilant.

Yes?

Hello?

Hi.

Ken Bone?

Remember me, yesterday?

Oh, yeah.

Call me Ken.

I've been thinking about chucking this in, you know, Rocky.

Go to London.

Maybe Angus is right. I should turn pro. He keeps saying I've got the voice.

Angus said it. Angus says. Angus says.

I've been to London once, you know. It was horrible.

Has Angus ever been to London?

Oh, shut up.

Bite brain.

Bite brain.

Charming.

Right.

There he goes.

Oh, God.

A friend was robbed that night.

Beaten up with an iron bar. He's in hospital.

I'm sorry.

He's on the critical list.

He's an old man.

There'd be another robbery, but not like this.

Fragilely beaten, they said.

Sorry, Ken.

I'm going on.

It's all right. I understand.

You are very exposed up here, you know.

I work for a security business.

They put in alarms and all that sort of thing. I could have a look round.

See what's what.

You're not here to spy on me, are you, Ken?

Okay.

In exchange for dancing.

You see?

What's what?

We'll be able to get that fixed, won't we? Before Ken gets back from that

We could probably design our own.

She's pretty, Rocky.

Ken knows how important this job is, you know, Laura.

It's not going to save us from disaster, though.

Oh, you. You're always mecking out that everything's a disaster.

As far as women are concerned, Ken is a disaster.

Anyhow, I'm a realist. Oh, yeah, yeah.

You're going to be a singer. Dead realistic, that is.

It is when the alternative is Harry Crawford, entrepreneur and pipe dreamer.

Harry'll get the money together, you'll see.

How? Busking?

No, no, he's got those friends at Woodcote Park.

He'll have a talk to them.

Sometimes, Rocky, when you're sleeping in the office, it's better to expect the

worst. Yeah, yeah.

What do you think of that, then, eh?

Luxury.

It won't fit through the door.

My friend, Brigadier Charles.

Are all these yours?

Hobby? Not very good.

My husband was a good photographer.

Was? Maybe he still is.

He's in Poland.

I divorced him.

Yes?

I see.

Not on the critical list.

Not on any list.

Dead.

It's my son, Andrew.

He came to England with me, but he soon ran to home.

You've got your eyes.

Oh, yeah.

Would you like some cake?

Yeah. Yeah. Thanks very much.

You want me to install an alarm system at Dornford Hall? I'm asking you to do

estimate with me so I can snoop around and find out where this pollution's

coming from.

That's the only reason, is it?

Well, no, I mean, there's the house.

Something odd about that house. Something she's not telling me.

Oh, like it's haunted or something?

Well, she's alone up there, vulnerable.

Oh, alone and vulnerable, and along comes Ken Boone, green like a split

Look, this lady is loaded.

There's bound to be some cash in it.

Pocket money, Ken. Pocket money.

What, 100 quid for the estimate?

Two and a half grand if you install it? Oh, listen to him, two and a half grand.

I'm looking for 50 grand, Ken.

Come on, it's a start, isn't it? I mean, that's what the bank wants. Oh, no,

we're not on that one again, are we?

Look, mate, what you don't realise is I'm trying to set up a business here.

And there's more ways of raising cash than talking to the managers of the high

street banks.

Yeah, well, I've had enough of it. Look, what you don't realise is that we're in

different leagues.

What you don't realise, Harry, is you think you're bloody own asses and you

haven't got a pot to piss in. Oh, is that right?

And whose floor are you sleeping on, eh?

Look, six years ago, you was invalided out of the fire service and you bought

yourself a bloody field. And where are you now, eh? Bloody nowhere.

You're a stalker.

Can I help you?

Ken?

Ken, what's going on? What's going on?

Some psycho's just nearly brain -rocky and smashed up my office. That's what's

going on, Harry.

What do you want?

Rock, are you all right?

Yeah, I probably have a bit of a headache.

I hope so.

Look, can I tell you about that last night?

Look, if it's any help, I'll do that dauntless job for you.

Ah, thanks.

Look at it, Harry.

Wait, I mean, why?

Police reckon it's local yobbats.

I haven't got anything worth nicking, have I?

as you so kindly pointed out to me.

Poor old Rocky, he never armed a fly.

Oh, my Lord.

Ken, hurry.

A bit of fun, eh? And the guns.

Not very jolly. Well?

Well, well, what?

Report? Progress?

Today, ush? Woman?

Well, nothing yet. We're installing the alarm system at the hall. Now, give us a

chance, eh?

Now, news.

Confidential nature.

Brigadier Charles, deceased yesterday.

Tragic. Friend of Tudeusz.

Also director, HYP Industrial Waste Disposal.

Connection?

Yeah, well, we'll get on to that. Sharpish, Boone.

More haste, more speed.

Stop this woman polluting. We don't know it's her yet.

Absolutely not. Of course not.

But who else?

Ken, I'm supposed to go and see the council this morning about the change of

youth for the office.

Well, see if they'll let you use it for fire.

Rocky?

Where's Rocky?

What I find puzzling is nothing was stolen.

Well, it's like the police said, Ken.

Just a bunch of drunken yobbos, that's all.

Yeah, well, whoever it was.

I've got a nutty Dr. Lewis on my back, a weird Polish woman who's poisoning half

of Nottingham, and my office gets broken into.

Well, don't worry about it, Kent.

Don't worry about it. You'll sort it out, mate.

You'll sort it out? Yeah, thanks. I'll sort it out, all right.

Hiya. Hiya.

How's your head?

Sick. Not the cry.

Oh, no.

No.

Great. They're good for you.

Ken sends his apologies, but he's still doing his bit for Gladnost.

Any news about the break -in?

You're keeping an open mind, which means it could be anyone from the local yacht

to the yeti.

There you go.

Oh, yeah.

Thank you very much.

It's Cathy.

She's been very supportive.

Cathy?

How is picking up this afternoon, anything?

He didn't get his money from the bank, did he?

He's going to see some people in London.

Seems pretty hopeful.

Yeah.

Tourist, then?

My cousin.

For the talent competition.

I thought I told you.

So you're serious about all this stuff, then? No.

Well, only if we win.

That's all right, then.

Centre's here, here, and here, covering the main approaches.

And the main lawn's here.

I agree.

Do everything.

Well, smash in.

I can get measuring up straight away and tomorrow I'll bring the stuff in.

Good.

Now I can feel safe.

Don't feel too safe. I got burgled last night.

Did they find anything?

Find anything? I don't even know what they were looking for. Only trouble.

What type of business is it?

It's an investigative agency.

A detective agency.

Is this another test?

No, we've just moved, and I think we have to apply for temporary change of

Is that me?

Yes, but I haven't explained this bit yet.

Change of premises refers to the specific use to which your premises are

employed. No one but all women in the menace pours filth all over the county,

and you do nothing.

Compiling evidence to have us stopped. Make myself clear.

Who's that?

Dr Lewis, the great complainer. The planning department, that's his

target. And Mrs Nicholls. Poor cow.

Have you always done this?

Both of you?

No, we used to be a couple of firemen.

What, with the helmets and the belts and the red fire engines?

Yeah,

that sort of thing.

Hey, hey, hey.

It's all right.

It's OK.

Probably your dog up there, chasing some ghosts.

Yes, and Chippler, I know.

There's noises everywhere.

Did you know there had to be a school?

A boarding school.

I will sit with the dog.

Tomorrow I have business in town, so I will not be here for you and Harry.

Well, I'll come out the day after tomorrow, eh? Tell a few stories about a

fireman.

OK.

Did you like your cake?

I haven't started yet.

You should.

It wasn't easy to make.

You're smashing the mud can.

You're smashing.

Lewis is mad if he thinks that she's polluting the local water.

She's got this thing about cake.

Anyway, she's away tomorrow.

Takes all sorts, girl. Takes all sorts.

Sorry, we're about to lock up.

Did you find what you were looking for?

Maybe.

Good night.

News now on the local robberies. Thousands of pounds of valuable

been stolen from a house outside Nottingham in the latest in a series of

antiques burglaries.

The break -in took place at the home of the Marnie family in Thule last night.

The incident is being linked to a number of other raids in recent weeks on large

country houses.

Police say the gang is extremely dangerous and are warning people living

isolated houses to be vigilant.

So far, none of the stolen goods have been recovered. A police spokesperson

the gang is probably hoarding and disguising the goods, many of which are

antiques, prior to shipping.

Hello, this is Green Investigations.

I'm sorry there's no one available to take your call, but if you'd like to

a message, we'll get back to you.

Harry, Ken, I'm going back up to that house.

Where'd you get this?

By the sink.

Hurry. Lock it. Hi.

Laura?

Something you should tell us.

Water stinks.

Grass is a mess.

And it's bad.

I've been up and down the river. There's no obvious source of pollution as yet.

Come on.

I'm down in the quarry now.

I can't see anything.

Poor Jeff's fallen off his horse.

Poor Jeff's fallen off his horse.

What do you know about Sinclair Lewis?

Lewis?

Lewis has made my life a misery.

Why do I?

Ken Boone.

Preliminary investigation at Dawnford Hall on behalf of Sinclair Lewis.

I'm at the stream.

I don't understand this, Boone.

I dropped this down by the quarry.

Have you seen it before?

I'm working for Lewis, investigating chemical dumping on your land.

That's why you became so carefully, my friend.

Well, it wasn't the only reason.

Anyway, I want to know how this got into your house.

I've never seen it, so how do I know?

You brought it here, maybe.

Now, get out of my house.

Go, or I will call the police.

Okay, okay.

Okay, great.

Hey, Ken.

You'd better look at her.

Laura,

what's she been up to?

Planning permission.

Don't below.

Louis. Yeah, Louis.

Interesting, eh?

But today I'll face the big fight.

But I really had a ball last night.

Well, I came home from work this morning. My baby was feeling low.

And he told me what was on his mind. And he told me where I had to go.

Well, I didn't go where he told me to.

Because the water was cold in the lake.

And now there's something fishy about this whole thing.

Any luck on the financing, then?

Wheels are in motion, Ken.

Wheels are in motion. I might be down, but I'm definitely not out.

I'll find the money from somewhere.

I know you will, mate.

I know you will.

Well, come on.

Let's go and put the good Dr. Lewis on the spot, eh?

What's the reason?

Well, Boo, busy man.

Well?

Entry and report, Dornford Hall.

Excellent, Boo. Shoot.

I don't think Irina had anything to do with dumping chemicals on our land.

Is that all?

There are other factors.

Such as?

Two years ago, you tried to buy Dornford Hall. You put in a planning application

to try and have a conference centre built.

Well, Liam... You were also having an affair with Julian Nicholls, who worked

the planning department of the council. What?

You also grabbed whatever opportunity you can to smear Irina's name.

Now, since you're so desperate for Dawnford Hall, we thought perhaps you

have something to do with Poisoning Earth's dream. I can explain.

Dawnford Hall, built by my great -great -grandfather, sold by my grandfather.

I have tried to get it back many times.

Conference centre idea to fund purchase. Didn't work.

But then I did not have the day's money.

Julia Nichols.

Not an affair.

Been my wife for 15 years.

Separate names, mutual decision.

Your accusations of pollution, quite unfounded.

More time spent investigating today -ish, less time me, you would have found

that.

Send your invoice.

You believe him?

I don't know.

Stuff still going into the stream?

Toxicity increase?

And last analysis of 12%. What substance?

Strong solvents.

Like from paint strippers or ceramics.

Traces of mercury and silver.

Ceramics?

I ran his pictures, Harry.

What? Look at them. Why, what for? Because she's trying to tell us

The pollution, the robberies. There's a link and it's got something to do with

that house.

for the big one. Prize numero uno.

In first place, we have St. David's Primary School Choir with a rendition

of Barry Manilow's Monday.

I think the jury's been nobbled.

Oh, Angus.

Good dog. Sit.

Good boy.

Go.

Seek them out.

Find them.

Spoke to the guy. Well, he rather spoke to me, you know. Brilliant. And?

Well, he wants us.

Contract. Oh, Angus, I don't believe it. That's brilliant.

He wants the band, not the singer.

Look, he's probably just a mouth. We'll stick with you.

Don't be daft, Angus.

It's brilliant, honestly.

It's still brilliant.

It's just a hobby for me, you know.

Come on, now.

Come on.

I'll take her out.

Come on.

Bingo. Bloody hell, it is her.

Who's her?

Yes, it is her.

All the houses that were burgled.

She's photographed on it, inside and out. Look here, video camera, burglar

alarm. See?

Every detail.

Ken's right, it is her.

It is Irina.

So why did she leave us all this stuff, then?

I don't know, Rocky.

I haven't a clue.

Come on.

Hello there, Kenny.

You get about, don't you?

I'm taking the dog for a walk.

Tiny bit fickle, that dog.

No!

Andrew, no!

Andrew?

Is that your son?

Sorry, Kenny.

I'm her boyfriend, aren't I, darling?

Well, there's you credit love, isn't there?

Well, Andrew, what's it all about then, eh? You paint up the china, disguise it,

melt down the knives and forks?

Well, let's just say, Kenny, that some people are going to be paying rather a

lot for some rather inferior pottery.

Spillage, mate.

It's what gave you away.

All that stuff you've been dumping in the stream.

You ought to be more conscious of the environment.

Well, thank you for that, Kenny.

Far now.

I'm afraid you're rather in the way.

So, we're going to have to leave you here for a while.

That's all right with you, of course.

Yeah, yeah, of course.

Harry! Help, Harry! Get help!

Harry, what are... What are we looking for? I don't know.

We just keep looking.

Really?

Unnecessary, Kenny.

My name's Ken, all right?

Oh, I'm sorry, Ken.

What are we going to do with you, Ken?

People know I'm down here.

Oh, do they?

Do you think we should surrender to you, then?

All right, come on in.

Come on, then, walk, Ken. Come on, then.

Help,

Ken! Come on, now.

to tell me why?

Because I wanted him to be stopped.

Because he had started hurting people and he was enjoying it.

How did you get involved in all this?

Oh, Ken, you wouldn't believe me if I said.

Try me.

He made me laugh.

And by the time I stopped laughing, I was in love with him.

You're right.

I don't believe you.

It's true.

Well, I wish you luck wherever you're going.

What's this then, Kenneth?

It's a boat, isn't it, mastermind?

I don't think you ought to put it back in the cracker, mate.

Anyway, what's it doing moored on my land?

Because it's where I'm going to live until I decide to sail down to Faro and

live in the sun.

You all right, mate?

Yeah, tip -top.

You're not upset, are you, about, you know... No.

No. Of course not.

I'm giving up on women, Harry.

Don't seem to find the right one, do I?

Well, then, it's just me and thee, then, isn't it?

What? Hey, come on now, don't be a pranic.

Business, partners.

Boone and Crawford security.

Shouldn't it be Crawford and Boone, eh? Like Mills and Boone.

A deal.

Yeah.

We've got our first bit of publicity.

Eh? How's that, man?

Fame and fortune, eh?

Well, fame, all right. A few little edges.

Mr Crawford, Mr Boone.

Your office told me I might find you here.

Oh, you want to borrow some money, Mr Statter?

No, but I want to lend you some.

Oh, I thought you might.

Our area manager wholeheartedly approved your business plan.

And I've had my backside kicked from here to Derby for not spotting an

investment opportunity.

And I'd like to apologise for my behaviour.

The money's yours if you still want it.

Well, then, why don't my partner and I show you around our premises?

And my yacht.

So she took the photographs for the robberies?

Yeah, surveillance -like.

And then the boyfriend and his mates went and did the nicking.

They stored the stuff down in the quarry and melted down all the silver and

shipped it out the country.

So where did Dr Lewis fit into all this?

Pollution, dingbat.

All the corrosives and the chemicals from the smelting lights, they were

up the ecosystem.

The ecosystem?

Yeah, you see, nature performs this delicate balancing act and when too much

stuff gets on one side, well, it falls off.

Falls off. Yeah, that's right, isn't it, Ken? Yeah.

Now then, I'd like to propose a toast.

Crawford Boone Security.

Crawford Boone Security. Them and fortune.

Old name.

New beginning.

As long as two comes before three, as long as honey comes from the bee,

as long as roosters chase after hens, that's how long

we'll still be friends.

We'll be friends, we'll be friends, we'll be friends through the years, just

like Starsky and Hutch, or the three musketeers, we'll be comrades in arms.

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