Original subtitles

Sometimes I said, yeah, feeling alone

No one to talk to, I got no telephone

Brother Bison, Bison Donoghue.

Sorry.

The Bison herd is strong.

The herd protects its weakest members.

Absolutely. The herd knows where it is going.

Yes.

And now to conclude the evening, the Bison song.

Brother Bison.

Banqueting tent here, eh?

What are you trying to do, turn it into Alton Towers?

Got any idea how much it'll cost? Yes, of course I have.

But we don't have to provide any of the capital, only the land.

My mate Derek does the rest. Barkeys, staff, catering, portal, it was

everything.

I'm surprised Ellen's agreed to it. Well, she hasn't agreed, I mean,

not as such. But because I haven't had time to discuss it with her yet.

No, it's not.

Hello, Ken. Hi.

Can I get you anything else?

I'm a bit worried about these bisons.

They're all singing.

Well, it's good for business, Helen.

I mean, they're all influential members of the community, remember?

What are they actually doing in there?

Well, nothing. They don't do anything. I mean, they just sing and get away for

their wives for an evening, that's all.

I mean, there's nothing sinister about it.

What a daft, if you ask me. Well, yes, of course it is.

But they do put an awful lot of money in the till.

Oh, well.

Helen.

Harry's got something to ask you. Oh?

Did Robin Hood ever stay here?

Wishcourt Park was only built in 1870, Harry.

Harry!

Excuse me.

What have you been drinking?

Did you speak to Helen yet? Tomorrow, I promise, tomorrow.

Well, I'll have a word with her now, I don't mind. I'll be in your condition

now, come on.

You're not going off the idea, are you? No, no, of course not. It's just that

I've got to find the right moment, that's all.

Oh.

Oh, well.

Toodly -pip.

Toodly -pip.

Hey, you're not going home in that, are you?

Yes.

Are you sure you're all right to drive down?

Yes, I'm fine, Vincent.

Where the deer and the antelope, the bison's herd is strong.

Bison's herd cares.

Would you kindly blow into this, please, sir?

Moon Investigations, can I help you?

I'm sorry, he's not in at the moment. He's out.

Out on a case.

Can I get him to call you? He'll be in shortly.

Oh, OK.

One o 'clock.

The old station.

Oh, bedlam down that shopping centre.

We've got a case.

We've just missed him.

He doesn't want you to call him, though. He thinks I'm meeting him. What?

A fellow by the name of Brack.

Can I come with you?

No, you're on bucket duty, love.

God. Smash him.

Mr. Brack?

You're Ken Boone?

Yeah. Why all the secrecy?

Her name's Nina. She's 41 years old. The address is on the back.

Watch her, where she goes and who she sees. And I'm not talking about Tesco's

the hairdressers.

Look, if there's a bloke involved, I don't do any rough stuff, all right?

just watch her.

There's two days up front. I'll call you once a day.

Well, wait a minute. I need a bit more to go on, mate. Who's this Nina to you?

My wife.

Anything else?

Yeah, I mean, why'd you get in touch with me?

I don't know you from Adam, and you don't know me.

That's why I got in touch.

Well, how do I contact you?

You can't.

Months ago, this was a wasteland, and then the consortium and I put this lot

Just think what we could do with Woodcote Park, Harry.

Certainly a thought, Derek.

Oh, thank you. You sure you're not going to have one? Not even a grapefruit? No,

no, no, thank you, no, no, no.

God almighty, Harry.

If I lose my licence, I'm in shtook, I'm telling you. Not it, mate, it's wet.

Very hot on that road here, you know.

I'm a bloody fool.

Yes, Derek, you are.

I've got a friend who's a policeman. I'll have a word with him. Maybe he can

pull a few strings.

No, I'm not sure I approve of that kind of thing.

You're the last honest businessman, Harry.

I think that's why I like you.

I tell you what.

Why don't I get a respected widow, a veritable pillar of the local business

community, to be a character witness?

But who?

Helen!

What do you think? She's a bloody alcoholic anyway.

Oh.

Cheers, then.

Do you know, peon darlings would be really worth something.

Really?

Best mahogany they are. They'll last you a lifetime.

How much do you reckon, then?

About 500.

I would have thought.

I tell you what, Rocky.

Whatever you can get, you can keep 50. No, no.

Let's say 75.

That's really generous, Ellen. Tell them. I want you to sell them. I want

succeed at it. Who knows?

Maybe a brilliant salesman lurking in there.

Doubt it.

Rocky, you've got to have more self -confidence.

Yeah.

Reckon these'll come up dead nice.

The lights are on.

You're not home.

You're mine.

You're not your own.

Your heart's wet.

Your body's sweet.

Your chips is what it takes.

You can't sleep.

You can't eat.

There's no doubt.

You're empty.

You're so tight.

You can't breathe.

Another kiss is all you need.

Would you like to take it? It's called laughing.

She likes fists.

Can she have one of yours?

Here. Let me get you now.

A wig? A wig, yes. You look completely different.

Why is it every woman who uses our services is a drug dealer?

By the way, that bloke Brack, or Brock, whatever you call him, I'm sure I saw

him at one of the Bison meetings.

Really? Yeah. Well, I'll see what I can do.

What's all these? They're all the chairs.

Oh, I'm just going to make a quid, 75 quid.

14 dealers up in two, nothing.

Nothing, nothing.

Yes, well, I told her she was about to get shot up, and, you know, I mean, she

should put her back at her dining room, but no, she wouldn't listen. No, no,

they're too old -fashioned or something.

Look, excuse me, Mr. Brett.

Harry, do you mind keeping your anti -roadshow down a bit?

Sorry, love.

Why don't you try the furniture warehouse in Portland Street?

Yes, I'm sorry about that. I will, sir.

Yeah, well, I followed her to a pub and then I lost her.

It won't happen again.

Yeah, well, I'll follow her again tomorrow.

He's got to be the nastiest bloke I've ever met.

Any chance of... Members only.

Yeah, I know. I saw the sign.

See you, Mr Laker.

Yes, Mr Laker.

OK, Tom.

Can I help you?

Yeah, you must be Mr Laker.

Yeah, you're Mr... Phil McIntyre.

And you want to become a member, yeah?

Well, I'm only here for a couple of weeks.

That's no sweat.

The first one's on the house. What do you have?

I'll have beer.

Where are you from, then, Phil?

Southampton.

You want a bit of company, yeah?

Well, I'll have a beer first.

No, no, no, no. No problem.

See what I can do, eh?

Yeah, there you go. It won't be a sec.

I can wait, Tom.

Hi.

I'm Susie.

Will you buy me a drink?

Yeah.

Anyway, what about you? You're from London, aren't you? Oh, yeah.

It's genuine cockney, me.

Well, I tell some people that they believe you.

So, tell me.

Susie.

Do you, um... Do tricks?

No, love, that's not my department.

Now, Sandra, over there, she'll make your toes curl.

So this is what you do down here, is it? Get lonely salesmen down here, drown

their sorrows?

Yeah. Well, I'm a good listener.

You'd have to be.

It's not all I get paid for.

A good man is hard to find. You always get the other

kind. And just when you think you've found a real good pal, you look around

find he's messing with some other gal. You couldn't just put in a word?

I mean, you know, unofficially, could I?

Don't make me file.

I mean, I know it's not strictly above board, but I...

I can't tell you how grateful I'd be.

I'm sorry, mate.

I really am.

I'm not in the knots for us, even if I was.

Well, I appreciate your concern, Vincent.

I feel pretty bad about it, too.

Oh, no, no, it's OK.

Don't blame yourself.

But I'm a bison when I'm with you blokes, not a copper.

I don't want to be thought of as the law hanging round. I know, I know, I know,

I know. We all appreciate that.

Well, thanks for your time, anyway.

See you tomorrow night.

Yes, I expect so.

Mineral water for me, though, eh?

Sure are.

Well, what happened then?

Nothing happened then.

I said goodbye and I left the club.

Doing investigations. Good afternoon.

Oh, Mr Brack. Yeah, he's been waiting for you to call. He's got some good

I believe.

Certainly.

Yeah.

Yeah, and it's not much to go on, I'm afraid, but he's not seen another man, I

can tell you that much.

What? Ken found out about it. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, that's right.

Well... Well, don't you want me to pursue the case?

What did you say when you told him?

I didn't tell him.

Oh, for heaven's sake, Ken, why not? Because she hasn't told him, and she

have a very good reason why she hasn't told him. Look, mate, it's not your

problem. She's not your concern.

Yes, she is, Harry.

I mean, it's your client.

You can't lie to a client.

Especially him.

It's not really Lionel, is it, eh? Not really.

I mean, she's not on the game.

Not going out with other guys, though.

What do you mean, especially him? Because Mr Brack is Detective Sergeant

of the Vice Squad.

Bloody hell.

They're not back. And, Rocky, they're going to need a French polishing and

recovering, of course. Oh, of course.

You've no idea how much that can cost.

And you reckon they're worth?

Well, I thought about, you know, 500 or 450, something like that. The problem

is, Rocky, they're not mahogany.

They're, um, painted teak.

Painted teak.

I'll tell you what, though, Rocky.

Let's you and me have a glass of wine and, um...

We could discuss this further.

120 pounds, Rocky.

That set was worth 500.

No, you're wrong, Ellen. It wasn't. Don't tell me I'm wrong. I know about

furniture. No, do you see those chairs? They weren't mahogany.

I beg your pardon?

No, you see, they were painted teak.

Did she tell you that?

Oh, dear, oh, dear. She really saw you coming, didn't she?

I can't believe she'd do that, you see, Helen. She seemed to really like me.

It's not the money.

It's just that I wanted you to succeed.

To do something you could really feel pleased with yourself about.

Morning, Rox.

How's the furniture business, then, eh?

Oh.

Oh, well.

What's up with him?

Some girl fluttered her eyelids at him and titched him up.

Oh, it must be the time of year.

Now, Helen.

We have a very, very important business matter to discuss.

You're very quiet this evening, Vinnie.

What's up?

You've heard it up here, don't you?

Nottingham's not bad.

It's got no harrods, but you can't have everything.

What have you got going for you up here?

Nothing.

You got no friends.

You got no job.

You got me.

Settle down, Vinnie.

You got no kids.

No relatives.

Just me.

Well, it was my choice, love. I came up here with you.

And don't you make me know it, eh?

It's not that bad. I'm not complaining.

Oh, no, you're good at that. Not complaining.

You're growing old in this pit, Nina.

But you won't blame Vinnie, will you?

No, Vinnie, I don't blame you. Not for any of it.

So this is what you had in mind, was it?

When the sexy singer got her leg over the pretty young copper, this is what

had in mind.

Stuck in a semi doing the ironing.

Not even a kid to make her feel like a proper woman. Shut up, Vinnie!

That's enough, love.

Only her little secrets to keep her going.

Who are you seeing?

Do I know him?

It's not like that, Vinnie.

It's a wig.

That's what it is.

For looking pretty in.

Who's it for?

It's not for anyone, Vinnie. Liar.

You better tell me. You know what's coming.

Vinnie, let go of my arm.

I don't know how you could even suggest it. Cash in the till,

Helen. Cash in the till.

It's what this place is badly in need of. A Romano's banqueting hall for dogs?

Oh, well, yes, I mean, there's a choice between your good taste and remaining

solvent. I know which I'd choose any day of the week. The whole atmosphere of

Woodcote Park would be destroyed overnight.

I'm sorry, Neen.

I'm sorry.

You know I didn't mean it.

But you know Vinnie loves you.

He always will love you.

Come out to me.

Tell me what you've found out.

I've told you. Exactly.

Like I said, she goes to this pub in the afternoons. It's a proper drinker's

pub, OK? She has no company, male or female.

Maybe just talks to the barman, Tony, occasionally. That's it.

That's it?

Yeah. You're holding something back, Boone.

I'm not. The wig.

Slipped your mind, did it? Or perhaps you didn't notice she was wearing one.

Well, you know all about that. I mean, that's for your benefit.

Why's that?

Perhaps she doesn't want to be recognized as a respectable copper's

likes an afternoon drink.

You're not as stupid as you look, are you?

You're off the case.

Thank you, Detective Son.

to get weary wearing the same

shabby old dress when she

gets weary try a little

tenderness

not

just

All right, Phil, how's business?

OK, you know, so -so.

Deals for you? No,

it's all right, I'll wait for Susie. All right.

If that's all right.

Yeah, that's fine. You know that she doesn't... Yeah, yeah, I know.

Don't regret it, woman, don't forget it.

Love is the whole happiness.

It's all so easy.

Well, don't stop a mic out. I was enjoying it. It's in the wrong key, but

listening?

Go on.

Small burn.

Never fry sausages when you're drunk, that's my advice.

Did he do that as well?

Let's get some bubbly in.

Jimmy, over here, love.

Costume, 2000.

Well, it's going to look authentic, Harry.

We can't have Robin Hood running around in a feathered hat and green tights.

No, I suppose not.

Now, have you spoken to Helen yet?

Yes. Yes, yes.

And? Well, she likes the basic idea, but she's still being a bit, you know...

Cautious. Yes, something like that.

But when I show her these figures, I'm sure she'll come round.

Evening all. Hello, Vincent. Oh, hello, Vincent.

Hello, Derek. How are you?

Oh, as well as can be expected.

Good. That's good. Now then, what are we for?

Large Perrier for Derek, I should think.

Councillor Milner, congratulations.

Thank you.

I see the local opinion poll give you a six -point lead. Yes. That's a large

brandy, I should think. Oh, yes. That's handy, sir. What can I get you? Vodka

tonic.

There we are, then.

Right.

Religion?

Politics? Not football, please.

No. You.

Oh, that's boring. Love, you'd nod off in five minutes.

I don't think so, Nina.

I think you'd better leave.

Please. Sit still, love. Sit still. Come in. Listen.

Your husband's hiring me to follow you.

Well, well.

It doesn't surprise me.

Waiting outside for me, is he?

No.

I haven't told him you're working here.

I've told him about the pub down the road he used.

What's your name, anyway?

Boone.

Ken Boone.

Is there anywhere we can go to talk about this?

That's quite a paradise, Ken.

So what didn't you tell Vinnie about me?

A dose of conscience, was it?

Oh, stop being so bloody cool, Nina.

I don't like your old man, but I do like you.

You understand?

Sorry, Ken.

You're a nice bloke.

Anyway, I'm off the job now.

Yeah? Yeah.

He found out I was lying about you.

You know, he will find you, sooner or later.

This place may not be on his patch, but he is in the vice squad, love.

This is the kind of dump they check out.

Do you want to hear something funny?

Lake are downstairs.

Him and Vinnie are mates.

That's how I heard about this place.

I've got no proof, of course, but...

Laker slips Vinnie the occasional wad for favours.

Laker runs the girls round here too, you know.

Well, how come he didn't know you were working here?

Well, Laker doesn't know who I am.

And Vinnie doesn't come here because that might incriminate him.

Meek, isn't it?

Right under his nose.

Is that why you do it?

Is it dangerous?

Look, it's none of my business, but, I mean, why don't you just leave the

Because... Because you're right.

None of your business.

Hey.

Hey, come on.

I'm sorry.

My round, I think.

Get yourself a taxi home.

Yeah, he says, well, it's no state for a future prime minister to be driving

around in.

Water, please.

He's going to try and kill you, you know that, don't you? Yeah, I know.

Well, you should stop coming here.

Why are you so concerned, Kent?

I don't know.

You shouldn't get involved with the clients, you know.

It's bad for business.

A bit like this game.

Why don't you go back to London?

Take up your old job.

You've still got a great voice.

I can't.

He needs me.

And what about your needs, eh?

What kind of a relationship do you have for this bloke?

It was good.

Honoured.

Before... Before what?

I had a kid.

She died.

She was killed.

I'm sorry.

It was a drunk driver.

It never even stopped.

Oh, God, I'm sorry.

It's none of my business, but... No, don't say that.

It's really good to talk to you about it.

Me and I... can't talk.

You don't need to know that. I'm a concerned citizen, that's all.

He's well over, I'm telling you.

If you're quick, you'll catch him.

His name's Milner.

It's a silver Volvo registration F910HNN.

Which one? Which one is Milner's? Uh, that one leaving now. Why?

Well, it can't.

You know, this stuff doesn't go on half as easy as they fade us on the telly.

I spent the evening talking to that Nina.

Oh, yeah?

Do you know that busted burnt -out with an iron?

He's a psychopath, Harry.

Did she tell you about his other nasty little habit?

No, what?

Shopping his mate for the police for Duncan driving.

Derek for one.

Alistair Milner, the councillor, last night.

Jokey. I mean, some people might call it civic duty.

But I think he's more interested in getting them caught than he is in

them driving when they're tanked up.

Let's get him.

Yeah.

How?

I'm not sure.

I'll think of something. Come on, I'll do that. Right, go on then.

Look, you've not come about the chairs with me because we've done a deal... Why

do you think I've come about the chairs?

Oh.

Right.

Well, what can I do for you then, you sexy boy?

Well, I was just wondering if, well, maybe me and you, you know, could go out

a date?

A date?

With you?

Yeah. Tonight.

Why not?

Why not?

Why not indeed?

Great.

Well, where shall we go, then?

Well, I thought we could go to this little country hotel that I know of.

Oh, my, Rocky, you don't beat about the bush, do you?

Well, I try not to, you know.

Rocky, it won't work.

She's too old for you. It will.

She really fancies me.

My point is he only shopped them.

He doesn't stop them driving completely tanked up so they could kill a four

-year -old child.

He just lets them drive in that state and gets the kick out of seeing them get

caught. What do you want me to do, Ken? He needs treatment. You know he does.

It's my fault, Ken. It's my fault he's like this.

I don't believe this.

It's my fault.

Because I couldn't have another kid.

Not your fault. It's not Vinnie's fault. It's nobody's fault. But you've got to

deal with it.

I mean, Vinnie's not capable.

You can't help him. He'll probably kill you at first.

So what do you want me to do?

I want you to help me set him up.

Oh, God.

Isn't it illegal?

Strictly speaking, no.

I don't think that I can help you, Harry.

I'm not really cut out for all this James Bond stuff, you know.

Hardly James Bond, Derek, is it?

I'm sorry. I really am.

Oh, don't mind.

Helen was just beginning to warm towards our little venture.

Don't mind, eh?

Don't mind.

All right.

All right, Harry, when do you want it fixed for?

Tonight. Tonight?

Hiya. Hi.

Oh, shall I try to take a coat?

Oh. Thank you.

A bag.

What's in there?

Oh, well, only a toothbrush.

Good evening, madam.

I've booked a table.

It's the name of Cafferdy.

Certainly. Would you come this way, please?

I'm running late.

Two meetings in a week.

Ridiculous. What's it all about tonight?

Oh, I don't know. Some new guy wants to join the lodge.

I won't be late.

Don't worry.

I love you.

What's the matter, terrible?

I love you too, Philly.

I love you too.

Look, if you'd rather I didn't go...

No, thank you, Stanley. I've got the umbrella.

Thank you very much,

Brother Bison, for being able to make it at such short notice. But Bison

Donoghue here was very keen for us to hear what Harry Crawford, the joint

of this beautiful establishment, has to say.

Harry,

would you like to say a few words?

Gentlemen,

As you all know, I'm very keen to be a Bison, because I believe that you

are all very much my kind of people.

And I would also like to offer the Bison Lodge a permanent home

here at Woodcote Park.

I'll get another one in.

Marky, it's for fortune that's done.

Oh, Anne, for you, money, no object.

Um, me.

Another one.

Harry Crawford, do solemnly swear to live by the Bison Code of...

What?

Ethics.

Solemnly swear to live by the Bison Code of...

Evening, girls.

Morning,

Judy. How's business?

Might as well be at home watching Sally.

Yeah, I'll cheer up the closing time soon.

Can't wait.

What are you doing here?

Waiting for you.

Why? You're at work.

I'm quitting, Mr Legge, as of now.

What? But I wanted to tell you why.

My name's not Susie.

It's Nina.

Nina Brack. Nina... Brack?

Vinnie's wife.

It's his idea. I work at the club, you know.

To spy on you.

But I like you. I can't do it anymore.

So I'm off.

That's my girl.

Oh, no.

No, later.

Can you guess what I'm thinking?

That's as famous as me, I hope.

I thought it's about time for me to pay the bill and book us a room.

Oh, if you go to the roundabout, you take the left and then you come to a

in the road and it's on the right and you turn right and it's there. Right,

right, right.

Harry?

Yeah?

Do you think you're in a fit state to drive? Yeah, of course I am, of course I

am.

The young man told me to tell you he's had to leave in a hurry, and he's sorry,

and that you were paying.

But it's 200 quid!

Yes, how would you like to pay?

You're cutting it a bit fine.

You were a little method to attend to, didn't I? Look, there's a complication.

They just dragged her down there with him. Oh, bloody hell.

I'm sorry, Ken. Wait till Brack turns up. Give him two minutes and follow me

down there. Well, what if he doesn't turn up? Then it doesn't work.

Right.

Mr. Laker.

Oh, right. Hello there, Mr... McIntyre.

Right.

Would you just give us a second? Yeah, sure.

What do you want, Laker?

Is this your car, sir?

Yeah. We have reason to believe that you've been driving under the influence

alcohol. Oh.

Love you now.

My wife?

What the hell are you talking about, my wife?

Bloody right, I'm coming over.

Thank you very much, sir. We seem to have been... Misinformed.

Good evening.

I'm sorry, love. I've only got two minutes.

Vincent, take a look.

You're next.

Go,

go, go!

Where is she?

What's wrong?

Well, judging by these photographs and what you've told me, Harry, he'll be

lucky if he's only thrown out the force.

He's committed serious offences, which will be dealt with after a thorough

investigation.

But he's clearly in need of urgent psychiatric help, so we'll get a report

take it from there.

And what's happened to his wife, by the way?

I only wish I knew.

I'll get someone to look into it.

Well, I'm very grateful, gentlemen.

No, it's our pleasure. Our pleasure.

Oh, Harry, may I suggest that the Bisons form themselves into a teetotal club?

It doesn't really do to have responsible members of the community endangering

life and limb every time they meet.

No, it's funny you should mention that.

Because I was going to suggest that you had a squad car parked outside every

time you had a meeting.

I mean, that should do the trick, Brian, shouldn't it?

I'll see what I can do.

Here you are.

Goodbye, gentlemen. Goodbye.

Give me dear Brett's home number, will you?

I thought you were going to go back to him.

I nearly did.

I would have stopped you.

I waited out there all last night.

Silly sod.

Look, if Vinnie wandered around, things could be different.

Why don't you stay?

Nice to meet you, Phil.

Yeah, and you.

Susie. If I ever get to London, how can I get in touch with you?

Ask a policeman.

Just fundamental They

have their grief and care

And a word that's soft

and gentle Makes it

Woman, don't forget it