Original subtitles

Yeah, take that big nerd cock. Take it Jarod.

Give it to me Griff. Give it to me Griff.

Harder!

- Fuck my brains out. - I'm about to shoot.

Yeah! Yeah! I'm coming!

splatter sounds

Hey guys. electricity sounds

thud

Wake up, Nico.

Criminy kiddo, it was just a bad dream.

knocking

I came by to check on the little lady.

What happened?

Where am I?

By golly, you had a nightmare and bumped your noggin.

Remember me, your horny old pal, Andy.

And me, horsehung Griff.

I'm Jarod, 2.0, you couldn’'t forget these abs, could you?

metallic clink

I had a strangest dream...

Everybody died, except for me.

And you, you, you were there, only...

you all looked slightly different.

We all dream lots of silly things, don't we kids?

And gosh darnit, if some of those dreams aren't played by actors

whose agents say silly things like:

"doing two gay movies in a row will make people think

you're actually gay

giggle

all laugh

Imagine that.

You sustained quite a blow to the head, son.

Things may look a little different from now on,

but you'll get used to it. Don't worry.

Actually, they're a lot cuter than I remembered.

I'll be fine.

What the fuuuuck! Ha ha!

You little bitches got your shitpipes lubed up for Whoreida?

pop

Yes, sir!

Sorry I can't make it this time boys. But you know what?

When you're sitting at the beach, flashing vacancy signs

over your ass pussies, why don't you just think of me on poon patrol,

alright? Cause I'm gonna be at the Dinah Shore

Golf Tournament! Yeah.

Alright, have a great spring break Muffster!

What the fuck!

Speaking of which, don't you boys have a plane to catch?

I've got a sheaking suspicion some fresh wang will do you boys

a buttload of good!

Oh mommy, there's no place like Lauderdale.

giggles

J Welcome to our soiree flaming hot-pink bouquet ;

J new rainbow milky way oo Jy LR ITI -1 1 W F- 740

J another gay, another gay EL Ll i Ll E VAT K I X A

J another gay, another gay EL Ll i Ll E VAT K I X A

J; chickens will dance with bears wolves prance and walk on air ;

J reach out and take me there come out and play &

J another gay, another gay, another gay sunshine day

J another gay, another gay, another gay sunshine day

J another gay, another gay, another gay sunshine day

J another gay, another gay, another gay sunshine day

» Another gay, another gay another gay sunshine day

So happy we're back together!

Yeah!

Gay spring break til our booties ache! cheers

Welcome to the Transamerica Airlines.

I'm your head stewardess, Debbie Gottakunt.

On behalf of flight attendant Nancy Needatwat,

we'd like to welcome you aboard.

If Fort Lauderdale is not in your travel plans today, it is now.

Hi hi, I just want to tell you what an honor it is to have you on my plane -

IO giggles

- Oh Perez, I'm your biggest fan. - Oh thank you!

But I do have some terrible news.

thud

There's nobody flying the plane!

Damnit Nancy, get a hold of yourself!

Sounds like you boys had quite the adventure last summer.

It's gonna be hard to top, huh?

Well, I have become quite the power bottom.

0,

Sorry, excuse me, excuse me.

I think we know who the slut of the group is.

Which one of you is the leading lady?

- Nico! - I accept.

But our sequel needs to be a whole new experience, boys.

To a new adventure!

To poppers and public sex!

Cheers!

So Griff and Jarod, you two are going to Florida to get laid as well?

- We're a couple. - A monogamous couple.

That's so sweet! I just want to vomit.

Tell me something I care about, which one of you has the bigger dick?

Shorty's packing heat?

Come on Griff, whip it out, let's see that monster cock!

clears throat

Oh. Forgive us father, we are gay.

Come child, confess your sins.

I'll be right back! giggles

Oh my goodness!

Oh Father, Hail Mary...

This is Captain Nodick in the Cockpit. We're expecting a smooth

ride this morning.

rattling

What's happening?

all scream

My nail, where's my nail?

Oh my God there's snakes on the plane!

slurping moaning

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. AHHH!

BONK!

birds tweet

passengers scream

choir vocalizing

In the unlikely event of a water landing,

I may be used as a floatation device!

screaming continues

Jlalalalalala s

indistinct conversations

suitcases clunk

- SO many men. - So little lube.

- Oooh!

-Ahhh.

- Ugh.

squish squish

gags

Are we having fun yet?

Allow me to introduce myself.

I Tyrell Tyrelle...

Activities coordinator for the Broward County Chamber of Commerce.

It's a pleasure to meet you LA LAl B

It says "Tyrell Tyrelle".

It's French.

I just want to make sure you gal knew of all the fabulous

activities we have here in sunny Fort Lauderdale.

Here, have an enchanting brochure.

Thank you.

Inside you'll find listings of all our classic spring break activities

Like our wet package contest.

Including self-help seminars on everything from

clean and sober pride to ballsack botox.

Look, there's Perez!

Blessed is the fruit of thy womb...

coughing

choir vocalizing

Whoa...

Who is he?

Those would be the Jaspers.

Meet Jasper, and Jasper, and Jasper.

Holy hard-on!

Jasper is your textbook flawless back-stabbing fratbot.

He is the leader.

But the other two drones only exist to serve their Queen.

I call him Jasper Chan.

Domo arigato ah hairy asshole.

He's the eyes and ears of the main Jasper.

Girlfriend is all up in everybody's business.

He knows we're talking about them!

Honey, Jasper Chan knows all, k?

That one's new this year, I call him Jasper pledge.

He's in the process of being hazed.

Heads up boys, here they come.

We're Jasper.

Nice to meet you. We're Cher.

So, where you boys from?

San Torum, California. Born and raised.

You're on the East Coast now, this is our turf.

Take this as a compliment, Cali kids.

He must see you as competition. Vi1 1

Jasper is last year's champion.

Champion? Of what?

"Gays Gone Wild"!

And now, the star of "Gays Gone Wild",

Miss Sandi Cove!

all cheer

You boys ready to have a ball?

Whoops! How bout two of them?

Ewww.

Why thank you sugar. I don't khow

whether to talk into it or give it a hoover!

Welcome to Fort Lauderdale!

cheers

What is Spring Break all about?

Getting laid, Sandi!

Well, being a classy lady belch I much prefer the more

sophisticated term, "cornholing".

But this contest is all about who can shuck the most!

cheers

Whoever has the most notches in their bedpost by the end of the week,

Will win a cornhol-ucopia of

faaaaabulous prizes!

That's right, Sandi.

Including a deluxe weekend for two

In Asbury Park, New Jersey!

0Oo0000!

This rapidly gentrifying paradise TR =R =N LTS

once the gays finally get rid of the black people.

But that's not all Tyrell. In addition to being crowned Miss Gay Gone Wild,

Our sexual hero will also win...

A one-week subscription to manhunt.net!

Ahhh!

Unlock your man-cunt

with Manhunt.

But Tyrell, you're forgetting our Grand Prize!

A brand new whore!

cheers

This prime slab of Italian beef is a versitile horse-hung Gemini, Sandi!

Certain to make a stimulating addition to your Asbury adventure.

Our hunk enjoys cock-and-ball torture

and haiku.

Each participant will receive a headboard game piece, and their own

individualized fuckstamp.

It's easy: simply schtup and stamp. Schtup and stamp!

Like so.

And now, ask yoursel, am I man enough to be Miss Gay Gone Wild?

Ha ha ha ha!

I thought college was the way to find tops, but this contest rocks, bitches!

Hey, weren't we supposed to have two double beds?

All they had left was a King, queen.

On the bright side, we can always cornhole each other for

extra fuckstamps!

- Unhand me, you brute! - Never!

- Sorry, are you hurt? - Yeah, it did hurt...

Do it again...

spank Ooh!

multiple spankings

So, are the two lovebirds going to enter?

I don't know you guys. Jarod and I aren't sure.

Are we, Jarod?

Awkward!

I mean, I would be down, but...

look, I'm the first to admit, promiscuous sex is hot!

On paper. We'd all like to have our cake and eat it too, right?

But what if it changes things?

Let's let these boys define their sexual boundaries.

In private.

Oh, look at that.

Ballsack botox!

Buh-bye.

whistle sound

- A tiki? - Hey that's neat!

You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna put this string around my

neck and wear it for good luck!

Let me see that.

latin music plays

Oh! Oh! Oh!

Aah!

Are you okay?

He was so hot. And I blew it!

It's a good thing you were wearing my lucky tiki.

You could've poked your eye out.

I think I'll name you Kiki. Kiki, the tiki.

Mmmmm. Ahhh.

So, what would our rules be? Like would you let someone fuck you?

Would you like to watch someone fuck me?

laughs Yeah.

- Yes? - Absolutely.

Oh! Oh!

Wait, wait...

What about kissing?

No... No, your lips are all mine.

slurp

Whoo!

- What's going on? - We're entering the contest!

Yeah!

- Are you serious? - We don't know if it's the rum or the

cum that's making us dumb, but we are in!

Let the games begin!

Woo!

The nerd's packing 8 inches Jasper!

Maybe 9.

snaps

Stiff competition indeed.

Did anyone find the unlucky tiki I planted?

buzz

Did anyone find the unlucky tiki he planted?

"Cher" already accessorized it.

Mark my words, Jaspers...

They're going down!

Heh heh heh!

HA HA HA HA!

all laugh maniacally

buzz

Welcome to "Gay Gone Wild"!

cheers

The contest starts now, baby.

And climaxes our legendary Saturday night sex party.

cheers

Speaking of sloppy sex parties, here's your hostess, Miss Sandi Cove!

cheers

splurt

Sandy's mammories are sponsored by Elbow Grease.

For a hot release, it's Elbow Grease.

So tell me boys, who's in the game?

cheers

Today's winning team will all receive one bonus fuckstamp!

Let's play slip-and-slide shuffleboard!

Woo hoo hoo!!

thud

Yeah!

thud

Ha ha ha ha!

cheers

boing splat

Stop!

Stop! STOP!!

What would Jesus think?

You may know me from perezhilton.com, or as a contestant

on "Celebrity Rap Superstar,

But now I am rapping for Christ!

Down with Britney, Paris or Lindsay, up with Jesus, Mary and Joseph!

Heavens to murgatroid!

Think about it boys, we homosexuals will never acheive equality if we

continue to define ourselves as drag queen-obsessed, sex-crazed perverts!

All sex and pig play gives gays a bad name!

All sex and pig play gives gays a bad name!

cheers

If we don't dislodge half-breed, we lose! And that is not acceptable!

- What do we do? - Yeah, what do we do?

buzzer, low battery

Think of something!

In a last minute yet technically legal subtitution,

pinch-hitting for Jasper Chan...

...iS Jasper Bear.

gasps

grunting

My tiki?

glass shattering

We won!

cheers

coughing

Now he looks straight out of that website that I always splurt to.

You mean the website that Polly and I frequent?

Yes! The world's largest gay porn portal.

Yummy!

Where's this Latin lover you keep talking about?

Oh, El Cantante?

Do you think he's a top? I bet he's a top he looks like a top.

Oh I can sniff them out!

growls barks

Go talk to him.

- Why me? - You make better bait.

Sup bud, wanna dance?

Sure, go for it.

You okay, peanut?

Yeah.

Sometimes Jarod just casts a really big shadow.

Kiss Polly.

I think we got off on the wrong foot. On behalf of my brother Jaspers,

I'd like to make a peace offering.

inhales

inhales

bird tweets

Apology accepted.

Oh. Wow.

- What do I do? - Close your eyes and suck, honey.

inhales

coughs

giggles

Let's dance!

J I love that you don't care what people think about me

I I love that you don't care what people think about you

J I could care less as long as we're together ;

J I'm gonna be wrapped around your finger forever

J I gave him my number and he called me back ;

J When he calls me right back You know he comes right over ;

J I'm gonna see him every day over and over

J I finally have this guy and he understands me J

J He's soft and he's sweet like cotton candy 7

J Like cotton candy lofeJd o Iet=111¢ /400

J I met his mother and his brother And his sister and his father s

J And his aunts and his uncles And his cousin's best friend J

J They're gonna come see me play at Madison Square Garden ;

J They're gonna lift their glasses say a toast for me and

J; Like cotton candy like cotton candy 7

J; Like cotton candy like cotton candy 7

J; Like cotton candy like cotton candy 7

J; Like cotton candy like cotton candy 7

choking

gagging

You're such a dork.

Don't worry about it bro. I am a, how do you say,

Ambassador from Planet Dweeb myself.

Luiz de la cruz, de la caridad, de la santa fe, del padre nuestro que estas

en los cielo, santifico sea tu nombre.

Luis, for short.

- Quite a mouthful. - You have no idea.

chokes

Andy Wilson. Dork for short.

You know, I don't think I've seen this many gay guys in all of Havana, Cuba.

We did have a gay rooster first. "Cock-a-doodle-doo!"

laughs

What are you drinking there, Andy?

"Barrel of Cum. Rum! Barrel of Rum.

- Next round’'s on me. - Oh my God, super cute!

- Where'd you learn how to do that? - I used to want to be a magician.

Good idea, when I was in Cuba, I used to want to be a...

How do you say in English?

A ventriloquist.

Oh, my God... laughs

Here's to Andy Wilson, the magnificent.

glasses clink

Salud.

- Come on, let's dance. - Okay.

s You and me used to be so shy

J Ididn't dare look you T 0 4 R

J And though we bite each other's nose

J And though we rip each other's clothes J

buzzing sounds Ooohoh!

J I'm your body addict You're my body addict ;

' \\:1x 1

Let's go!

So, what's this?

It's my fleshjack, dude. Feels almost as good as my wet manpussy.

Dude, you are so romantic...

- Suck my face, dude. Y i1 1

slurp

What's wrong, bro?

You'll have to excuse me. I cut my foot earlier.

And... my shoe is filling up with blood.

J Jesus loves us, this we know though the Bible tells us no ;

J Yes, Jesus loves us Yes, Jesus loves us

J As long as we’'re not hoes. Like you.

- You're a good dancer. - Just trying to keep you in place.

Whoa! Hey.

What do you say we back off and start with a proper date their mister?

Like maybe, right now?

I'll see you tomorrow, Andy Wilson.

Dork.

Griff?

Ohhh...

slurping sounds

0,

- You like that? - Oh yeah!

Oh! Yeah I do!

Ilikeit. I love it!

AR 1A I want my baby &

AR 1A I want my baby &

AR 1A I want my baby &

I miss you.

text message sound

0,

01,2111, 11

Mmm! Mmm! Oh yeah!

bird tweets

Ah! Ah! Ah! Oh yeah! Oh yeah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! MMm!'Mm! Mmm!

gurgling

- Okay, who got the Bloody Mary? - Was a Blood Orange Bellini.

Of course it was, dearie.

- We just need to find a weak spot. - A chink in the armor.

So, how was everyone's evening?

Kinda busted.

Actually mine was a bit on the busted side as well.

I am such a whore!

I meet this really hot, innocent, perfect boy

and end up like a hoe in a hot tub.

How was it?

Hm. Fine.

Details, Dolores, details!

Griff, where are your glasses?

Oh, they... came off...

I figured I'd wear my new contact lenses.

Did he fuck you that hard?

Jarod, stop. We just blew each other.

What's wrong with you? It was your idea in the first place...

I never said not to come home.

laughter

Let me intterupt this awkward and uncomfortable silence to recap my

awkward and uncomfortable evening.

So, how was he anyways, whore?

Cause to be honest, surfer dude sucks major ass, dude actually asked me to

tap his cowabunghole.

spits

Speaking of cowabungholes, or lack thereof, may I ask a question?

Is there a putrid odor coming from me?

We perhaps we should do this then, apparently we're not ready.

Apparently not!

Or perhaps an unsightly skin disease?

Bye guys.

Cause I think I have leprosy.

I hope it's not contagious.

scratching

- What is your damage, Heather? - Jasper.

Duh.

I'm so sorry about last night, I was such a drunken fool.

Apology accepted, Mr.

Definitely not in Cuba anymore!

Yeah, so...

What do you think of all this hedonistic... hedonism?

- You mean "Gays Gone Wild"? - Yes. Yeah. Yeah.

splash

Casual sex isn't really my thing.

splash

Did you sign up?

Me? No, no, no... No I'm uh...

I'm more into heavy petting.

laughs

You're super cute.

splash

Whoa, ah ah ahhhh!

- Griff. - Jarod.

When I went to go fuck that guy, all I could think about was you.

Your thought about me, right?

Yeah...

At first.

But then I guess I just got lost in it all.

I'm not gonna lie Jay, it was nice knowing someone thinks I'm hot.

- I think you're hot. - I know you do, but...

It was just sex.

You know you're the one that I love.

Maybe we just need to lay out some ground rules, first.

Like, rule #1: we only do guys together.

Are you sure?

Yeah let's give it a shot.

If it gets messy we'll just pull out.

laughs

J Belly buttons

J Belly buttons

J Belly buttons

J Belly buttons

Hot guy, 12-inch cock, 12 o'clock!

Ooh! Lindsay Lohan.

Is that Britney's vajay-jay? Richard Simmons is fisting Anderson Cooper!

Yoo-hoo!

Is he flirting with me?

Praise Christ Perez, I might finally get a little cock-a-doodle-doo!

smacks

growls

screams

Praise Mary, Mother of God!

choir vocalizing

splurt

The Virgin weeps!

Ah! Hah!

The Stigmata!

The Shtmata is more like it.

This is a sign of Jesus!

I am chosen!

I am chosen!

hissing

' \\:1x 1

laughter

Aaaaah!

Oh oh ohhhh!

You know, you have the bluest eyes I have ever seen.

You mind repeating that in Spanish?

Tienes los 0jos mas azules que he visto e mi vida.

splurts

You know, I'm getting really hungry papi.

- Oh yeah? - Mhmm.

What can I get you?

A footlong.

With relish!

laughs

Don't you want to fuck me?

Everyone else is?

Andy...

I'm a virgin.

I'm gonna go get us some snacks.

Throw papi overboard! Get back up there where you belong!

Dad?

Andy, listen to your mommie dearest. Luis would make

such a good clean husband.

Don’'t listen to her. A man has his needs!

Think about what you're missing out on!

Raging gonads! Bulging biceps! Gay fucking!

She wouldn't say such awful things to you if you weren't in this Cadillac!

But you are, Andy. You are in this Cadillac.

car door opens

They ran out of hot dogs.

Would you settle for a kiss?

I like you.

I like you too.

J Well I'm self-absorbed and sex-obsessed J

J I enjoy the excess I'm a fun little mess J

J I paid the price for my sacrifice I lost my jackpot &

J To the roll of the dice Too young and too naive 7

s No smoke, no mirrors Nothing up my sleeve

J I'm well aware that I've had my share 7

SN T Tl g Lo la = so you better beware 7

J Well, so what? It don’t matter

J I fucked up yet again I got lost along the way »

J But I'm not done So don’t be flattered ;

J I’'m not gone It don’t matter

J And I'm not I’'m not going away ;&

Wait! We're naked!

- There they are officer! - Code #69.

Jasper.

Here we go ladies.

Oy vey!

horse whinnies

Oy vey!

Pop that tuchus! Pop that tuchus!

Rule # 1: We only play together.

J There's just one way to fall in love J

J one say to say forever more

J If you've been promised to be true your whole life through

J Then you're the boy I've waited for J

J If I can share your every kiss J

buzz

Rule #12: no overnights.

Oh! Oh yeah!

Rule #564: No one cuter than me.

dialing phone

- Hello? - Dad, hey it's me.

Son, is everything okay down there?

Actually do you have a minute? I could really use your advice.

Certainly, I was just getting dressed. Go on...

There's this boy I met here in Ft. Lauderdale. His name's Luis.

He's a great guy. I really think you'd approve.

The thing is Luis is a virgin, and I think he wants a boyfriend.

Is he uncut?

I haven't seen it yet, Dad. Why?

No reason, I'm just asking.

- Go on. - Anyway...

I like Luis a lot, but I'm torn,

the whole purpose of this vacation was to have fun, right?

I mean after all I'm only 20 years old,

I'm not exactly looking to tie the knot.

The idea of taking someone's virginity, to be perfectly honest,

it kinda freaks me out.

What do you think I should do?

Well, perhaps if I'd had the chance to sew my wild oats when I was your age,

before I met your mother,

I wouldn't have ended up in my current predicament.

But then again, I wouldn't have had you.

What I'm trying to say is, you have to decide whether to follow your heart

or your hole.

Actually you know something, as disturbing as that sounds,

I think you're right.

- Thanks, Dad. - Anytime, son.

- Hi, Dad! - Hi son!

- Dad?! - Yes?

' \\:1x 1

- What are you doing here? - I don't know about you,

but I'm following my hole.

splat Whoops!

Ah. Ah.

I'm really tight.

Let me just uh...

Put that back in where it don't belong.

Usually your mother does this.

Jesus!

That's one way to break a sweat. Well, carry on.

Get ready for Daddies Gone Wild! Woo-hoo!

Fort Lauderdale, here I come!

I think you dropped something.

Who are you?

I'm Stan! Stan the Merman.

And I'm Cheryl Tiegs.

Don't believe me? Watch this!

"Chicken of the Sea'".

That's me!

What's your name?

Nico.

"Fowl of the Earth'".

You seem sad, Nico, What's wrong?

I feel like an alien.

Well, I'm not like other boys either, you know?

Yeah, I can see that.

belch

- Hey little boy. - No wait Stan, don't go!

Who are you talking to?

Stan, Stan the Merman.

Oh yeah? Let me introduce you to Jake the snake.

I'm not that desperate...

V=

Ahhh!

blech

Aw, Nico must've dropped little Kiki.

I'll keep her safe.

hissing

growling

growling

J Lice in the house! There's a red hot party ;

J going on in your public hair 7

J There's a red hot party going on in your pubic hair 7

J Lice in the house!

J Lice in the house!

snoring

loud snoring

clears throat

Fuck it!

growls T =E1uD

all scream

cries

Oww! Owww!

Is everyone okay?

No.

We're not.

Kiki misses my landing strip.

Yeah. And my balls itch.

At least we have the wet package contest to look forward to.

That's right, Jarod. Each and every contestant will

receive a complimentary pair of Aussiebum underwear.

You'll succumb to Aussiebum.

laughs

I can't cum.

I promised Luis I'd ride a gondola.

If only you could ride his gondola.

Tell me about it.

You boys sure seem crabby today.

I bet they're just hungry Jasper. Here, have some crabcakes!

laughs

Maybe a crabapple?

Or perhaps some pizza?

buzz Yes!

- Bye, losers... - Konichiwa, bitches...

As usual, Jasper has the last word.

Does he?

Does he?

cheering

Thanks for the kind assistance, 1= IR

Woo hoo! My pleasure boys.

I've been trying to get back at those fuckers for a long long, AHH!

What?!

Tiki! Tiki is taboo! Bad things come to those who touch!

AHH!

Super soaker, wooo!

Ha ha ha ha ha!

laughter

scissors snipping

Operation Crabgrass backfired, Jaspers!

But tonight we will unleash a night of terror!

Like the country of Broward has never seen!

But those boys, sir. Have you ever faced such formidable opponents?

I think you...

Missed a spot!

slit AHH!

Where can we go?

Are you sure?

But my room is off limits.

Shit, mine too.

Pool shed.

laughs

The power of God compels you! The power of God compels you!

Who was that?

Perez Hilton.

Ha ha, very funny...

Andy, Daddy's having a little trouble charming the trouser snakes.

Is it my outfit? What do you think,

is it too modest? Should I kick it up a notch?

Who was that?

My... father.

I should probably go.

No, please, please...

I'm getting blue balls!

We should wait, Andy. Til the time is right.

Dude! It is spring break. The time is right now.

Fuck me!

I'm so nervous. I can't believe we're finally doing a three-way.

Should I use the silver, or the gold?

The gold...

It brings out your highlights.

And lowlights.

Hey, sharky. Ever been fucked by a puppy?

Scoby-dooby-do me!

knocking

So, we're kinda new at this.

No worries boys, I am an excellent instructor.

Teach us!

Move in.

Repeat, move in.

Hola, fresh linens!

Excuse us?

No worries Papi, Consuelo seen it all before.

Mhmm.

1Y

You wanna play? You wanna play? You wanna play boy huh?

You wanna play in the bed, yeah you do.

Good boy, good boy, bad boy...

Have you boys ever done a Love Train?

You lay back, your boyfriend penetrates you

while I pound his ass from behind.

Deal!

1Y

Pass the elbow grease, please.

- Certainly. - Thank you.

- I'm stuck. - Me too!

Me three!

Oh my God!

Oh my God oh my God!

I am completely claustrophobic!

Remain calm, don't panic!

deep breathing

Call 911, call the Police, the Coast Guard...

Hell!

rip

Ahhh!

- You okay? - He tore my fucking ass off!

Stop! You'll pull my rectum out with this!

What do we do?

Sorry, sorry.

Taxi!

knocks on table

Hi. My rump is bleeding and I can't remove

my index finger from my boyfriend's anus.

Yeah, well I can’'t get my pocket rocket out of my pussy, okay?

You wanna play? Yes you do, yves you do wanna play.

Come on boy. You wanna sniff my ass?

Oh yeah, you wanna ride daddy, ride daddy!

Call me Sparky, sharky.

Okay Sparky.

Claw me Sparky. Put that big doggie cock in me!

Oh Luis, Luis!

T

Andy?

Dad?

vomiting

vomiting

vomiting

vomiting

vomiting

vomiting

vomiting

Andy, I know this might not be the right time,

but you think you could stamp this?

- Dad? - OK, you're right, I'm sorry.

vomiting

Stan!

Are you out there?

I brought you some flowers.

Yoo-hoo!

Mister Merman!

- Hey, I missed you. - I missed you too...

- Can you ever coem out of the water? - I can.

But only for a few moments.

You're beautiful.

I know. I'd love to fuck you Nico, but I don't have a cock or a butthole.

Yol a2

But you have a mouth...

Sketchy!

I didn't mean it like that, I just meant...

Kiss me?

But if I kissed you, then we could fall in love and...

since we can never truly be together

it could haunt us.

Forever.

I guess we're just two fish out of water.

Someday, a man with two legs,

and a cock and a butthole

will come along.

and he'll realize how truly special you are.

It's an awful lonely wait.

Wherever you see water, think of me.

splash

dialing phone

phone ringing

Luis, please... I can explain.

I think...

I don't think I can explain that at all.

I want you to know that as much as a slut as I may be,

you were the first guy I ever actually kissed.

I'm sorry about Luis.

I know how much you liked him.

I'm sorry you're having such a rough time too peanut.

Spring break's almost over and we both struck out.

I think that bathhouse is 24/7, we can still get laid tonight.

Maybe what we both need...

Is a nice long dream sequence.

Fine.

4 D

Fuck the pain away, right?

Enjoy the bathhouse, Betty!

0,

.\, 1L

Puck me!

T

T

Oh! Ah!

gurgling

"Wherever you see water, think of me"

Oh my God, it's every guy I've ever slept with!

This can't be happening!

M-

Shit!

growls

screams

AAAAHHHII

- Over here! e NTI

What are you doing here?

It's your dream sequence, come on before it's too late!

banging at door

They just keep coming and coming!

Leave us alone, we just want to be together!

We're both bottoms!

Hey it worked. I think they're gone!

Thank God.

Do it of yeah! Oh yeah!

Fisting... fisting...

They're going to fist us!

Fist fuck...

I Drip, drop drippity drop 7

I Drip, drop drippity drop 7

J A-drip-a-drip-a e aleo Me g o+ 20N

J; Drippity drop e ols X aos 1 00Y

giggles

s Whenever I feel dower

I I dream and count the hours J

J til I dance in golden showers with you ;

; We spent less than an hour, yet our love will never sour ;

J When I dance in the golden showers with you ;

J Whenever nature calls break down your fears and walls

J And let your water fall on me

J Fall on meJ

s So cast aside your sorrows J

J And dream of a yellow rainbows

J Relax and let your love go wee wee J

J wee wee wee wee J

J So come follow me where the manatees swim free

J Down under the golden sea -

S Some call our love taboo J

J But your words keep shining through

J You said to thine own self be true J

J Underneath cascading streams

J I remember all my dreams

J And now it clearly seems I'm born again

I So come, follow me where the manatees swim free

J Down under the golden sea -

Ahh! Nooo!

Fist him! Fist fuck!

screams

- NO! - YES!

Are you okay?

Are you okay?

Yeah.

Actually...

I'm fantastic.

What's that smell?

- What's the matter? - I had the worst nightmare.

What happened to your hand?

What happened to your ass?

Finally we did a three-way.

With a rhinosceros??

It almost cost us our lives.

I'm starting to think the third part of our trilogy needs to be we all make

a pact to swear off casual sex.

That sounds like a hit.

You're awfully chipper this morning. You finally get laid?

I got peed on.

door opening

I should've killed myself when he first put it in me.

But he took me.

He took me!

With the stench of filthy roadhouse penis on his breath!

And I licked it.

I licked it!

Awkward.

Here it is: "Gays Gone Wild!"

cheers

Sponsored by nakedsword.com

On Naked Sword, you're never bored!

Help me welcome the star of our show, Miss Sandi Cove!

Holla!

And now, the time is here, disrobe and begin cornholing!

Happy orgy, boys.

What am I doing here?

Good luck, guys.

Let's get out of here.

I have an announcement I'dlike to make.

My name is Nico and...

I'm an alien.

My whole life, I've never doubted myself, not for a single second.

I came to play, like all the rest of you...

But ended up feeling like a castaway from the planet Fembot.

Butlll

Through discovering the joy of water sports

I came upon the secret of the universe

It's not about who has the biggest dong.

Or the trendiest clothes.

Or even the most fuckstamps.

It's about remembering the 5 simple words I've lived by all my life:

IamwhatlIam.

IamwhatlIam.

Always.

Calling other occupants:

of interplanetary craft.

Can you hear me?

Over and out.

J So come, follow me J

s where the manatees swim free

J down under the golden sea

We received your analgram girl.

Tyrell Tyrelle reporting for duty.

We're all very horny, sir.

Oh blessed island of misfit boys!

giggles

I am so glad we left.

To monogamy.

knocking at door

Andy doesn’'t want to be a slut anymore, Luis.

No?

What does he want to be?

He wants you.

all moaning

doorbell

Pizza boy.

I love you, man!

Fuck, dude, I love you too!

Open your hearts, close your holes!

Open your hearts, close your holes!

Open your hearts, close your holes!

I cast out the demon of promiscuous sex!

Out! No more sucky-sucky no more manhunt!

NO MORE!

Don't listen to them! Keep fucking! That's right, lick his

I heal you! I am God's vessel! stop forni-

BONK

Sorry kid, Dad's got the sphincter of a 7-year old.

fart

Brother Hilton! We can't get our gay brother to stop

copulating. What do you suggest we do?

I'd suggest you pull that cork out of your poop-shoot, pussy boy!

Perez is back!

Who's got the lube?

I'm really glad we're gonna wait. You know? Until the time is right.

Who said anything about waiting?

Don't you wanna just cuddle?

Sure.

After you pound my ass!

Oh, Dios mio!

- Hey, baby! - Yuck!

Aw yeah, you know you want this!

TN L 4 =

My ass is new to all this.

Good, cause, uh...

Lo BTN 1K &

.\, 1L

0,

Woo! Ah!

"Anothey Gay Movie" eat your fucking heart out!

spanks

laughs

And now for our first-runner-up:

Jasper Pledge!

cheers

And now, the winner of the Miss Gay Gone Wild challenge:

Nico!

cheers

.\, 1L

ding!

Woo! Yeah!

Yeah! Oh yeah!

This sucks shit! I demand a recount!

Step aside old girl, and let the new Jasper through.

A word of advice sweetie: you've got something on your upper lip.

Did I get it?

A I R e g

buzz AHHH!

evil laughter

Yoo-hoo!

Stan?

Whenever you see rhinestones, think of me.

So, what did we learned from our little Floridian adventure?

I learned that Andy's a really good top.

And I learned I'm only topping you.

And we learned that the pizza boy delivers.

And I learned that part three takes place

in outer space.

giggles

To "Another Gay Movie Strikes Back

"GAYS IN SPACE"

N R R R I can't stop falling »

N B LTI B e I mean forever

J I'm falling in love it feels like heaven J

J I'm falling in love SN R ET Tl B B LR

N R R R I can't stop falling »

N B LTI B e I mean forever

J I'm falling in love it feels like heaven J

J It feels like heaven like heaven J

clap clap

clap clap

clap clap

J spring break there are no rules J

J gonna do it by the pool ;

J get drunk break of dawn J

J this is how eI I

J rub some lotion on my back ;

J massage it down into my crack

J the day is young CEL LT W T

J spring break is so much fucking fun ;

J but let me tell you kids what my mom told me ;

; when you love someone take it slow J

J don’t let them rape your pussy-hole cause if he’s not wrapped »

J your ass is trapped and you’ll end up with the clap ;

J clap clap gonorrhea J

; smelly whores on the shore

J love to take it on all fours J

J dirty sluts in the club

J wanna get their coochies rubbed

; when you’re back at Motel 6 J

J your craving cock must get its fix J

J gang bang squeal and moan 7

J porno stars o IT e ETe o T 1 Lo 11 =00

J but let me tell you kids what Jesus says... 7

; when you love someone let it show

J tell him that you’re a trashy ho if you got a sling ;

J and that’s your thing that’s how your priest got the clap 7/

o Mol lZ gonnorhea! ;

J gonnorhea, chlamydia, herpes and scabies .

J I don’t care if you’ve got crabs VRVEL L ER I EYCRC Ll F 1 I

J I'll be your dirty doctor, and I'll nurse you when you’re sick 7

J And when you’re feeling better I am gonna milk your dick 7

J sperminate me i’ll be the next pregnant man J;

J you’ll see us on Oprah and we’ll live happily ever after... »

J and then she’ll marry us and give us a free honeymoon to Hawaii 7

J because she’s Oprah and that’s what she does J

J but let me tell you kids what Oprah says...

; when you love someone you will know 2

J he’ll give your face that special glow &

J but when his love grows stale call up Gayle »

J cause she doesn’t have the clap L XAE I

J gonorrhea everybody follow along 7

J let’s go back to the start of the song, ready mom?

; when you love someone take it slow J

J don’t let them rape your pussy-hole cause if he’s not wrapped »

J you’re ass is trapped and you’ll end up with the clap ;

J clap clap gonorrhea J

J you got the clap yet? everybody, sing along! ;

; when you love someone take it slow J

J don’t let them rape your pussy-hole cause if he’s not wrapped »

J your ass is trapped and you’ll end up with the clap ;

J clap clap gonorrhea J

J Last one in's a rotten fag! J

J Gays Gone Wild! ;

J; they gonna be freaking all weekend J

J Gays Gone Wild ;

J everybody's stepping out tonight Gays Gone Wild ;

J top, bottom, or flip-floppin’ Gays Gone Wild ;

J we gonna get laid in each and every way 7

J Gays Gone Wild! ;

J Now you've been holding back for quite some time

J And all that stressing's messing with your mind »

;' so fly away with us to the sun-drenched sand ;

J strip down and hit the beach ICX-Ke a1

J and find yourself a man CLBCELD R

J Or maybe two! J

J Cause it's Gays Gone Wild! ;

J they gonna be freakin' all weekend Gays Gone Wild! »

J everybody's stepping out tonight Gays Gone Wild! »

J top, bottom, or flip-floppin’ Gays Gone Wild! »

; We gonna get laid in each and every way /

J this is the time for passing up the chance ;&

J so turn your gaydar up and set it for romance!

J whether it's lifetime love or just another butt to plug! ;