Original subtitles

Flick my dick.

You do eat pussy, don't you?

Are you kidding?

Well, lick it, sport.

Oh, Angel.

Angel, where are you?

Here I am.

She has a nice ass.

What do I do now?

Don't you know where her clit is?

I know it's here somewhere.

You bet it is.

How's this?

Oh, my clit, my...

You got it, sport.

Gotcha.

You sure do.

Thought you were a man.

Old, lost woman.

Stop it.

Too much, I can't stand it.

Stop.

Stop.

Oh.

Hello?

Anybody home?

Oh, my God.

Some fresh meat.

No, ma'am, this is your champagne and caviar.

How would you like to put it in?

Please, ma'am, I can't.

I have my job to go to.

I'll get fired.

You would like to have that dirty old job,

then, me?

You don't need that old job,

do you?

Come on, baby, come with me.

Come

on.

Faster.

Come on.

Faster.

Faster.

Faster.

Faster.

Come on.

Please.

Oh, my God.

Well, sport, how's it going?

Yeah, it's been a good week so far.

Yes, this week is zipping by.

Do you know, according to my notes here,

you still haven't fucked anyone in the ass.

Do you have anyone in mind?

Yes.

As a matter of fact, I do.

There's this ex-girlfriend of mine who lives in Brooklyn.

She was a virgin at the time,

and she promised me that I could fuck her in the ass.

But, see, she was a G.U.

at the time, and, well,

we never got it off.

A G.U.?

What's a G.U.?

I thought you all knew everything,

Angel, huh?

A G.U.

is a Geographical Undesirable Book.

She lived in Brooklyn,

I lived in Manhattan.

It took me an hour to get to her.

I don't think she ever forgave me for that.

I can't understand why.

But, she's a stewardess now,

and she lives in Manhattan.

Oh, well then, let's give her a call.

I can't.

I don't know her number.

Oh, it's 555-3232.

How do you do that?

Hello?

Hello?

Uh, Donna?

Yes, this is Donna.

Donna Reedy?

Who is this?

This is, uh, Sidney Purtzer,

remember me?

Sidney Purtzer?

How could I forget?

I was your G.U.

That was all in the past,

yeah.

I was calling to ask maybe if you'd like to have dinner at my place tonight.

I mean, I've got a flight to catch at midnight.

Yeah?

Well...

But, I guess I couldn't swing it.

What time?

About eight-ish.

See you then.

She's coming.

She's coming.

Now what do I do?

I've never fucked anybody in the ass.

Well, I guess I can help you.

Yeah?

Well, I thought you weren't allowed to,

uh, co-mingle with humans.

Well, of course not.

We'll go see Angel Dick.

Good.

What's his number?

Better than that.

Let's go visit him.

She did it again.

Come on.

Just hold onto my hand.

Where are you going?

There's a wall.

Look, I don't climb, really.

Angel Bot, what are you doing?

Oh, my God.

Now you've done it.

You know this is not allowed.

This is very unusual.

Yes.

Yes, I know, but this is an unusual case.

He has so much to learn.

All right.

All right.

Thank you.

See?

He's really an all-right guy.

And then he said, let it be.

Class, that'll be it for today.

But tomorrow, I want you back here because we'll be discussing the effect of the sphincter

muscle in total orgasm.

Angel Buns.

Oh, God, how many centuries has it been?

Too long, that's for sure.

The last time I spoke to you,

I was at Don Juan's funeral.

That's right.

Or was it Casablanca?

Casanova?

Oh, whatever.

What's the difference?

You're here.

Who's your friend?

Oh, he's this week's lottery winner,

and I'm his guardian.

Well, you don't say.

I mean, you've been on Earth.

Well, how's it been going on the old planet?

Oh, you wouldn't recognize it,

I tell you.

They've changed so much in the past 300 years.

Yeah, I imagine so.

Well, see, we're getting ready for a big influx here from Earth.

Really?

We're expecting another W.W.,

but this time it's number three.

Well, anyway, tell me,

talk to me.

What do you want?

Oh, I'm terribly sorry.

Sidney, this is Angel Dick.

Angel Dick, this is Sidney.

Now, Sidney's never been fucked in the ass.

Oh, pardon me, he's never fucked anyone in the ass.

And seeing as everyone knows you're the best buttfucker in the universe,

I thought I'd bring him up here.

Well, thank you very much,

Angel Buns, but I can't do that to him.

No, silly, not him, me.

Oh, how stupid of me.

Of course, of course.

Come, come into my tent.

Now, obviously, Sidney,

the first thing you need is a hard-on.

Mm-hmm.

I see you still remember.

Mm-hmm.

Oh, it's been a long time.

It sure has.

You see, Sidney, you have to be rock hard.

Oh, yes, just like the old days.

Oh, Angel Buns, that's enough,

that's enough, honey.

I'm hard as a rock now.

Well, there's something about an asshole that never fails to turn me on.

Oh, especially when you have an ass as soft and beautiful as this one.

Those pocket brown lips are every bit as exciting as a cunt.

Sometimes even more.

Angel Dick, you say the nicest things.

How could such a big thing like that get into such a small hole?

Easy.

Watch.

It'll be much too tight without some of this.

Anything that'll make your cock slippery will do.

Oh.

We got to get together more soon than 300 years,

honey.

It was really good.

Was it?

It was really good.

Oh.

It feels so good.

Take notes, Sidney.

You're looking at the best.

No, honey.

How's that feel?

Harder.

Harder?

Harder.

How's that?

Oh, you like this, don't you?

Nobody does it better.

Oh, thank you, baby.

Thank you.

Baby.

Oh, you do like it, don't you?

Oh.