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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:47,240 Stop whatever you're doing, bud! 2 00:00:47,360 --> 00:00:49,280 We're having a crazy golf championship in the medilab. 3 00:00:49,400 --> 00:00:50,920 It's gonna be insane! 4 00:00:51,040 --> 00:00:52,680 I don't think so! 5 00:00:52,800 --> 00:00:55,080 You won't say that when you see the course. It's amazing! 6 00:00:55,200 --> 00:00:57,560 Best hole's the fourth, on the autopsy table. 7 00:00:59,240 --> 00:01:01,240 The bath-lift takes you up to the tee. 8 00:01:01,360 --> 00:01:03,600 Out of bounds marked by the commode cushions. 9 00:01:03,720 --> 00:01:05,600 You have to land your drive over the bunion plasters 10 00:01:05,720 --> 00:01:07,800 in between the two kidney donor dishes. 11 00:01:07,920 --> 00:01:11,200 Then a straight shot into the medical students' practice rectum. 12 00:01:13,280 --> 00:01:15,400 Not now, man. Can't you see I'm cooking? 13 00:01:15,520 --> 00:01:17,440 Steak? What is it, pork? 14 00:01:17,560 --> 00:01:20,280 I found a deep-freeze down on B Deck, next to Kryten's quarters. 15 00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:22,840 - Enough for me? - Just one steak, one chop, one rib. 16 00:01:22,960 --> 00:01:24,720 Great! Just enough! 17 00:01:24,840 --> 00:01:27,120 - Catch you later. - Hey! 18 00:01:29,680 --> 00:01:31,160 I'm loving this pork! 19 00:01:34,760 --> 00:01:36,560 Maybe needs a little more soy sauce. 20 00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:38,320 Oww! 21 00:01:42,520 --> 00:01:45,320 Lister, I've been meaning to say. 22 00:01:45,440 --> 00:01:46,800 Books? 23 00:01:46,920 --> 00:01:48,800 You've been reading again, haven't you? 24 00:01:49,920 --> 00:01:53,120 Listy, I've told you a million times - don't read, it messes you up. 25 00:01:54,440 --> 00:01:56,720 It's like giving a hamster, who's only used to his little wheel, 26 00:01:56,840 --> 00:01:58,520 the keys to an Aston Martin. 27 00:02:00,040 --> 00:02:01,520 Crazy things are gonna happen. 28 00:02:01,640 --> 00:02:04,120 It's part of my robotics course - I've got to read it. 29 00:02:04,240 --> 00:02:06,760 Makes you feel so inadequate. 30 00:02:06,880 --> 00:02:10,840 You know Mozart was only five when he wrote Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star? 31 00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:13,960 I wasn't even toilet trained when I was five. 32 00:02:14,080 --> 00:02:16,200 You've barely mastered it now. 33 00:02:17,440 --> 00:02:18,920 How did these people get to be so great? 34 00:02:19,040 --> 00:02:20,360 I mean, Shakespeare. 35 00:02:20,480 --> 00:02:23,160 I don't understand anything he wrote, but, man, what a dude! 36 00:02:23,280 --> 00:02:26,240 Plays, poems... and a whole bunch of expressions. 37 00:02:26,360 --> 00:02:28,200 "A dish fit for a king" - that was Shakespeare. 38 00:02:28,320 --> 00:02:29,640 What a great expression! 39 00:02:29,760 --> 00:02:31,880 Is it, though? Is it a great expression? 40 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:34,120 A dish fit for a king? I say that all the time. 41 00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:36,360 This is a dish fit for a king - that's a great expression. 42 00:02:36,480 --> 00:02:39,720 I love that expression. That Shakespeare, you've gotta hand it to him. 43 00:02:39,840 --> 00:02:42,280 He could really write a good expression. 44 00:02:42,400 --> 00:02:44,480 Who couldn't have thought of that? 45 00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:48,480 "In a pickle" - that was another Shakespeare expression. In a pickle. 46 00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:50,800 How brilliant is that? You know what it means? 47 00:02:50,920 --> 00:02:56,680 As confused as the mixed-up, stewed, spicy vegetables in a pickle jar. 48 00:02:56,800 --> 00:02:58,200 And how are we supposed to know 49 00:02:58,320 --> 00:03:01,040 what the inside of a 16th-century pickle jar looks like? 50 00:03:01,160 --> 00:03:02,640 And how is that relevant 51 00:03:02,760 --> 00:03:06,280 to our non-pickly lives here in deep space today? 52 00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:08,040 When will people learn? 53 00:03:08,160 --> 00:03:10,560 Shakespeare, it's over! 54 00:03:12,040 --> 00:03:15,960 The money that guy must have made out of a few lousy expressions and a bad haircut. 55 00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:18,200 Bad haircut? 56 00:03:18,320 --> 00:03:20,840 Don't tell me you haven't noticed his bad haircut? 57 00:03:20,960 --> 00:03:23,960 But because he's had a few hit expressions, he gets away with it. 58 00:03:24,080 --> 00:03:25,360 What's wrong with his haircut? 59 00:03:25,480 --> 00:03:27,480 He's got a skullet. 60 00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:29,640 A skull what? 61 00:03:29,760 --> 00:03:31,920 A bald mullet - a skullet. 62 00:03:33,480 --> 00:03:35,640 Bald at the front, mullet at the back. 63 00:03:36,840 --> 00:03:38,920 You wouldn't wanna go out in public with this guy. 64 00:03:39,040 --> 00:03:42,560 - Sirs, the most incredible news! - Someone's died, 65 00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:44,680 - and you've been left a new mop? - Ohh! 66 00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:46,640 Please, sir, give me some credit. 67 00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:49,320 I'm not the one-dimensional cleaning droid I once was. 68 00:03:49,440 --> 00:03:52,560 I've evolved into something far more complex and multi-layered 69 00:03:52,680 --> 00:03:54,720 and, if I may say so, superior. 70 00:03:56,520 --> 00:03:57,480 - Stain. - Where? 71 00:03:57,600 --> 00:03:59,400 - Smudge. - Oh, where?! 72 00:03:59,520 --> 00:04:00,640 - Smear. - Oh! 73 00:04:00,760 --> 00:04:02,480 - Speck. - Oh, speck! 74 00:04:02,600 --> 00:04:04,320 - BOTH: Smeg. - Smeg! 75 00:04:06,400 --> 00:04:08,080 The crates were in transit, sir. 76 00:04:08,200 --> 00:04:10,720 - I opened the first one and found this. - What is it? 77 00:04:10,840 --> 00:04:13,080 It's a rejuvenation shower, sir. 78 00:04:13,200 --> 00:04:18,080 It rewinds each individual's genome and returns the body to any point in its past. 79 00:04:18,200 --> 00:04:21,120 It can restore you to your physical prime. 80 00:04:21,240 --> 00:04:23,040 Oh, man, how great is that? 81 00:04:23,160 --> 00:04:25,320 I can go back to last Thursday! 82 00:04:25,440 --> 00:04:28,320 - Ahh. - What? 83 00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:31,120 It's Swedish. 84 00:04:31,240 --> 00:04:32,280 So? 85 00:04:32,400 --> 00:04:34,200 It's a flat-pack - self-assembly. 86 00:04:35,600 --> 00:04:37,160 We have to build it ourselves. 87 00:04:37,280 --> 00:04:39,440 "With just an Allen key and a Phillips screwdriver, 88 00:04:39,560 --> 00:04:42,040 "assembly should take less than three hours." 89 00:04:42,160 --> 00:04:44,560 That's Swedish for a week. 90 00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:05,360 It's not a million miles away, you know. 91 00:05:05,480 --> 00:05:08,000 What about all these spare parts we didn't use? 92 00:05:09,200 --> 00:05:11,880 Alignment bracket. What the hell's an alignment bracket? 93 00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:15,800 Oh, look, we have taken this thing apart and put it back together a hundred times. 94 00:05:15,920 --> 00:05:17,120 It's aligned, all right? 95 00:05:17,240 --> 00:05:19,000 In what area is it not aligned? 96 00:05:19,120 --> 00:05:20,240 In no area. 97 00:05:20,360 --> 00:05:22,760 It's good to go, it's aligned, let's do it. 98 00:05:22,880 --> 00:05:24,360 Who's gonna test it? 99 00:05:24,480 --> 00:05:26,240 Mm, we need something unimportant and meaningless. 100 00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:27,520 Listy, you're up. 101 00:05:27,640 --> 00:05:29,760 There might be something here. 102 00:05:29,880 --> 00:05:31,600 Bits of black plastic, 103 00:05:31,720 --> 00:05:34,240 bits of metal that don't look important. 104 00:05:34,360 --> 00:05:35,960 Old battery. 105 00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:38,360 What we really need is something organic, 106 00:05:38,480 --> 00:05:40,560 something alive, something teeming with life. 107 00:05:40,680 --> 00:05:42,360 Oh, sir, what about your socks? 108 00:05:44,440 --> 00:05:46,200 Stand back, everyone. They're coming through. 109 00:05:47,720 --> 00:05:51,200 OK, I'm rejuvenating the socks. 110 00:05:54,040 --> 00:05:55,640 Oh! The beams. 111 00:05:55,760 --> 00:05:58,320 We're getting covered in beamer light. 112 00:05:58,440 --> 00:05:59,520 They're misaligned! 113 00:05:59,640 --> 00:06:03,080 That's what those alignment brackets were...for! 114 00:06:04,160 --> 00:06:06,160 What's happened? Where are we? 115 00:06:06,280 --> 00:06:10,720 Damn cheap, Swedish, flat-pack, self-assembly rejuvenation showers! 116 00:06:11,800 --> 00:06:13,160 Where the hell has it sent us? 117 00:06:13,280 --> 00:06:15,920 I fear we may have time-travelled, sirs. 118 00:06:16,040 --> 00:06:19,240 And I told you those white plastic clippy things were important! 119 00:06:19,360 --> 00:06:21,880 Trees! This may be Earth! 120 00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:24,640 Earth! It's always Earth with you guys. 121 00:06:24,760 --> 00:06:26,520 You see some trees, it's Earth. 122 00:06:26,640 --> 00:06:30,720 Who's to say it isn't a planet entirely populated by naked warrior Cat babes 123 00:06:30,840 --> 00:06:32,800 who need me to make love to them all? 124 00:06:32,920 --> 00:06:34,560 And what are the chances of that? 125 00:06:34,680 --> 00:06:37,720 If you've never had a dream, you've never had a dream come true. 126 00:06:37,840 --> 00:06:39,480 - (BEEPING) - Hmm. 127 00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:43,160 We're in a land called Albion, sirs - better known as Britain. 128 00:06:43,280 --> 00:06:45,560 And the year is 23 AD. 129 00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:49,080 23 AD. Weren't Britons all nutters back then? 130 00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:52,440 Running round sporting blue tattoos, out their heads on booze, 131 00:06:52,560 --> 00:06:54,680 fightin', vomitin' and passin' out? 132 00:06:54,800 --> 00:06:57,760 A phase that doesn't end any time soon, sir. 133 00:06:57,880 --> 00:06:59,440 Maybe we can stay. 134 00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:02,400 We've gotta get back to the Dwarf and find Kochanski. 135 00:07:02,520 --> 00:07:03,920 AR, no fear, sir. 136 00:07:04,040 --> 00:07:06,080 I have the returner remote right here. 137 00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:09,560 Oh. It doesn't appear to be functioning. 138 00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:11,480 Does it need a battery, by any chance? 139 00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:13,640 Eight volts, about yay big. 140 00:07:14,920 --> 00:07:16,320 I'll tell you what. 141 00:07:16,440 --> 00:07:17,800 We'll make a battery. 142 00:07:17,920 --> 00:07:19,520 Out of what, trees and moss? 143 00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:22,040 Out of potatoes. We did it at school. 144 00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:27,160 A potato, a copper coin and an iron nail - we can make a one-volt battery. 145 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:30,240 Make eight, connect them up, we've got eight volts and can return home. 146 00:07:30,360 --> 00:07:33,640 Britain in 23 AD, sir, doesn't have any potatoes 147 00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:36,440 and won't get them until the 16th century. 148 00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:40,880 Lemons! The exact same battery but with lemons. 149 00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:44,560 Britain in 23 AD, sir, doesn't have any lemons either. 150 00:07:44,680 --> 00:07:46,920 They won't get those until the 14th century. 151 00:07:47,040 --> 00:07:48,560 He's getting closer. 152 00:07:48,680 --> 00:07:51,000 So, where's our nearest lemon? 153 00:07:51,120 --> 00:07:52,640 Best guess, sir, India. 154 00:07:52,760 --> 00:07:54,400 India? How far's that? 155 00:07:54,520 --> 00:07:56,200 4,000 miles, sir. 156 00:07:56,320 --> 00:07:58,760 If we walk briskly, we'll get there in six months. 157 00:07:58,880 --> 00:08:00,200 BOTH: Six months?! 158 00:08:00,320 --> 00:08:01,720 I can't wait. 159 00:08:01,840 --> 00:08:04,120 Well, we've got no choice if we want to get home. 160 00:08:04,240 --> 00:08:05,520 Let's face it, sir. 161 00:08:05,640 --> 00:08:07,720 We're in a real pickle. 162 00:08:07,840 --> 00:08:09,680 Mr Lister, sir. 163 00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:11,160 India is this way. 164 00:08:27,280 --> 00:08:29,800 (HUBBUB) 165 00:08:32,280 --> 00:08:33,960 Hey, it's a market. 166 00:08:54,520 --> 00:08:58,320 Ha-ha! I lived in the land of Albion for ten full cycles of the moon, 167 00:08:58,440 --> 00:09:02,200 but I fled after my family were dragged screaming from my home 168 00:09:02,320 --> 00:09:03,960 to a mighty wicker tower, 169 00:09:04,080 --> 00:09:09,160 where they were sacrificed to the three gods, Toutatis, Esus and Taranis. 170 00:09:09,280 --> 00:09:12,320 First they were garrotted to death, then they were burnt to death, 171 00:09:12,440 --> 00:09:13,720 then they were drowned to death. 172 00:09:13,840 --> 00:09:17,080 Three deaths to appease the three gods. 173 00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:20,440 Then the druids drank their blood and ate their meat 174 00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:23,280 and said the harvest would be bountiful. 175 00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:26,560 Right. Have you got any lemons? 176 00:09:28,240 --> 00:09:30,480 They're a fruit - they've not been launched in Europe, 177 00:09:30,600 --> 00:09:31,720 but I've heard they've been released here. 178 00:09:31,840 --> 00:09:33,040 KRYTEN: Ah, lemons! 179 00:09:34,320 --> 00:09:35,680 - Oh! - Found them! 180 00:09:35,800 --> 00:09:37,200 Citrus, citrus! 181 00:09:37,320 --> 00:09:42,520 We come from Albion, through Gaul, across half the Roman Empire, Persia, Parthia, 182 00:09:42,640 --> 00:09:44,600 all for this very fruit. 183 00:09:44,720 --> 00:09:45,880 This one here? 184 00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:47,120 Is it famous? 185 00:09:47,240 --> 00:09:49,640 No, not that one in particular. 186 00:09:49,760 --> 00:09:51,960 We're in search of lemons in general. 187 00:09:52,080 --> 00:09:54,120 We've walked 4,000 miles. 188 00:09:54,240 --> 00:09:55,480 How many do you want? 189 00:09:55,600 --> 00:09:57,160 Eight. 190 00:09:57,280 --> 00:09:58,920 Eight? 191 00:09:59,040 --> 00:10:01,880 You walked across half the known world for eight lemons? 192 00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:04,320 You're right, that's absolutely insane. 193 00:10:04,440 --> 00:10:05,640 Make it ten. 194 00:10:07,760 --> 00:10:10,400 - Have you got a bag? - What's a bag? 195 00:10:10,520 --> 00:10:12,080 Bags haven't been invented yet, sir. 196 00:10:12,200 --> 00:10:16,240 In 23 AD, the rich have satchels made of goat hide. 197 00:10:16,360 --> 00:10:17,720 So what did everyone else do? 198 00:10:17,840 --> 00:10:19,840 They drop things, sir. 199 00:10:19,960 --> 00:10:22,040 Right, what next? 200 00:10:22,160 --> 00:10:23,600 Apart from new feet. 201 00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:26,440 We need copper for the positive electrode. 202 00:10:26,560 --> 00:10:28,200 Copper? Where we gonna get copper? 203 00:10:28,320 --> 00:10:30,760 Isn't Britain famous for its copper? 204 00:10:31,880 --> 00:10:34,400 Ahh! No way! 205 00:10:34,520 --> 00:10:35,920 I said we needed a shopping list! 206 00:10:36,040 --> 00:10:37,840 - Didn't I say we need a list? - Hang on! 207 00:10:37,960 --> 00:10:41,000 Aren't copper coins made of copper? 208 00:10:41,120 --> 00:10:42,640 He's right! 209 00:10:42,760 --> 00:10:44,560 I think I read that somewhere. 210 00:10:44,680 --> 00:10:46,840 Then we've got copper. 211 00:10:46,960 --> 00:10:49,880 - Hee-hee! - Next up, galvanised nails. 212 00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:51,640 And a shave! 213 00:10:51,760 --> 00:10:53,800 - Da-daa! - Hey! 214 00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:57,360 Finally got the sphalerite ore from a Chinese merchant. 215 00:10:57,480 --> 00:10:59,600 Three weeks for a few lousy nails? 216 00:10:59,720 --> 00:11:01,720 Everything's so damn primitive here. 217 00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:04,720 You have to remember, sir, that many things have yet to be discovered. 218 00:11:04,840 --> 00:11:08,320 In 23 AD, they still believed the Earth was flat, 219 00:11:08,440 --> 00:11:10,920 that Tourette's and epilepsy were caused by demons, 220 00:11:11,040 --> 00:11:15,000 and an oxen had a higher standing in society than a woman. 221 00:11:15,120 --> 00:11:17,160 (SCOFFS) Where did the oxen go wrong?! 222 00:11:18,480 --> 00:11:21,160 They had it all and just threw it all away. 223 00:11:21,280 --> 00:11:25,120 Also, did you know that the colour purple is a luxury item? 224 00:11:25,240 --> 00:11:28,960 It's made from crushed seashells, and only the very rich can afford it. 225 00:11:29,080 --> 00:11:30,280 Colour purple? 226 00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:32,800 What's wrong with just mixing red stuff with blue stuff? 227 00:11:32,920 --> 00:11:34,760 - They haven't discovered that yet, sir. - Really? 228 00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:37,320 - Jesus! 229 00:11:37,440 --> 00:11:38,960 Yes? 230 00:11:39,080 --> 00:11:40,160 What? 231 00:11:44,640 --> 00:11:45,640 I'm sorry? 232 00:11:45,760 --> 00:11:48,760 I'm just... talking to my mates here. 233 00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:51,720 - Oh. My apologies. - No worries. 234 00:11:53,920 --> 00:11:55,840 No way! 235 00:11:55,960 --> 00:11:58,160 - It can't be, can it? - Don't look! 236 00:11:58,280 --> 00:11:59,560 Don't stare! 237 00:11:59,680 --> 00:12:02,840 23 AD - this is when he was supposed to be alive. 238 00:12:02,960 --> 00:12:04,360 So how old would he be? 239 00:12:07,480 --> 00:12:09,920 Well, let's work it out, shall we? 240 00:12:10,040 --> 00:12:13,240 In 23 AD, he'd be... 241 00:12:28,760 --> 00:12:30,160 .23, 242 00:12:31,840 --> 00:12:34,000 That's how old that guy looks. 243 00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:35,360 What's he doing in India? 244 00:12:35,480 --> 00:12:38,400 Shouldn't he be in Nazareth or somewhere, making tables? 245 00:12:38,520 --> 00:12:40,280 Maybe he's on his gap year. 246 00:12:41,920 --> 00:12:43,160 Well, according to the Bible, sirs, 247 00:12:43,280 --> 00:12:46,280 there was no sight of him from when he was a young child to when he was 30. 248 00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:49,640 Oh! So this is like Club 18-30, the holy version? 249 00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:53,200 The missing years - I've heard about this. 250 00:12:53,320 --> 00:12:55,920 He toured the world, perfecting his teachings. 251 00:12:56,040 --> 00:12:57,440 I'm gonna get his autograph. 252 00:12:57,560 --> 00:12:58,640 No way! 253 00:12:59,680 --> 00:13:01,800 Ebay - it'll be worth a fortune. 254 00:13:01,920 --> 00:13:03,440 You don't even believe in him! 255 00:13:03,560 --> 00:13:06,120 Look, this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. 256 00:13:06,240 --> 00:13:09,400 All I'm gonna say is, "Sorry to be a bore, I bet you get this all the time, 257 00:13:09,520 --> 00:13:11,320 "but you're him off the Bible, aren't you?" 258 00:13:12,600 --> 00:13:13,800 What's wrong with that? 259 00:13:13,920 --> 00:13:16,000 Ah, Rimmer, please, don't say that. 260 00:13:16,120 --> 00:13:17,840 Look, it'll be fine. 261 00:13:17,960 --> 00:13:20,480 We'll get talking, I'll tell him my middle name's Judas. 262 00:13:22,840 --> 00:13:25,360 One thing could lead to another, we could wind up big buds. 263 00:13:26,560 --> 00:13:28,320 Why is your middle name Judas? 264 00:13:29,520 --> 00:13:32,520 Judas embodied all the traits my mum wanted me to have. 265 00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:38,160 Your mum wanted you to be a two-faced, double-crossing, conniving snitch? 266 00:13:38,280 --> 00:13:40,480 She must've been very proud of you. 267 00:13:40,600 --> 00:13:43,600 She was a member of the Church of Judas. 268 00:13:43,720 --> 00:13:46,840 They believed that Jesus asked Judas to swap places with him, 269 00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:51,480 so Judas was crucified, and Jesus was able to show up the following Monday and say, 270 00:13:51,600 --> 00:13:53,440 "I'm back, baby! I'm back!" 271 00:13:54,560 --> 00:13:56,480 And nobody noticed? 272 00:13:56,600 --> 00:13:58,400 OK... 273 00:13:58,520 --> 00:14:02,280 Judas's full name was James Judas Didymus. 274 00:14:02,400 --> 00:14:05,880 James means "twin", Didymus means "twin". 275 00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:08,320 Judas was Jesus's twin bro. 276 00:14:08,440 --> 00:14:10,120 Jesus had a twin bro?! 277 00:14:10,240 --> 00:14:12,200 According to the Church of Judas. 278 00:14:13,480 --> 00:14:15,400 So Judas sacrificed himself. 279 00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:16,840 And his reputation, 280 00:14:16,960 --> 00:14:20,240 and became someone who was sneered at and reviled throughout history. 281 00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:21,920 Just like you! 282 00:14:24,760 --> 00:14:26,120 Your mum was really smart! 283 00:14:27,760 --> 00:14:29,640 So what happened to Jesus afterwards? 284 00:14:29,760 --> 00:14:31,800 He went to the South of France with Mary Magdalene, 285 00:14:31,920 --> 00:14:34,240 had a family and invented the wheelbarrow. 286 00:14:34,360 --> 00:14:35,960 Here goes! 287 00:14:36,080 --> 00:14:37,600 Rimmer, sit down! 288 00:14:37,720 --> 00:14:39,080 Please, sit! Sit down! 289 00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:44,400 Brothers, brothers, I... fear thou are impatient for thine food. 290 00:14:44,520 --> 00:14:46,640 Please...join me. 291 00:14:48,720 --> 00:14:51,080 We are all travellers. 292 00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:52,640 Share with me. 293 00:14:52,760 --> 00:14:53,880 Wow! 294 00:14:55,200 --> 00:14:56,920 What an honour! 295 00:14:58,240 --> 00:14:59,640 Incidentally, we know who you are. 296 00:14:59,760 --> 00:15:02,280 Recognised the sandals. 297 00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:04,640 Um, I'm Rimmer. 298 00:15:04,760 --> 00:15:07,280 Um, you can call me Arn or Big Man. 299 00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:09,920 Um...talking of big... 300 00:15:10,040 --> 00:15:11,360 big, big fan of yours. 301 00:15:11,480 --> 00:15:13,160 Big, big fan. 302 00:15:14,360 --> 00:15:18,480 Would the...gladiator like to...join us too? 303 00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:21,200 I'd be most honoured, sir. Although I am not a gladiator. 304 00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:22,760 I am a man of peace. 305 00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:23,920 Oh! 306 00:15:24,040 --> 00:15:26,640 - Then thou shall sit next to me. - Oh! 307 00:15:34,520 --> 00:15:35,840 Ah! 308 00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:39,040 Ah-ha-ha! 309 00:15:39,160 --> 00:15:42,720 Look at all this food! 310 00:15:42,840 --> 00:15:44,560 A dish fit for a king! 311 00:15:47,160 --> 00:15:50,480 You are all from the land of Albion, I think. 312 00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:51,680 I have visited Albion. 313 00:15:51,800 --> 00:15:54,040 I walked across the River of Mersey. 314 00:15:55,400 --> 00:15:57,400 All those old prams, it's not hard, is it? 315 00:15:58,880 --> 00:16:00,320 There was a bridge. 316 00:16:00,440 --> 00:16:02,920 Oh, got you. I thought you meant... 317 00:16:03,040 --> 00:16:04,680 Ah! Mine uncle. 318 00:16:04,800 --> 00:16:08,280 When I was returning from the men's room, I spied two soldiers. 319 00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:09,760 Jesus... 320 00:16:09,880 --> 00:16:11,200 they're on to us. 321 00:16:11,320 --> 00:16:13,360 - Problem? - Mine enemies are many. 322 00:16:15,720 --> 00:16:19,040 I will slow their path. Take him from this place and protect him, I beseech thee. 323 00:16:19,160 --> 00:16:23,320 You shall not pass while there's a breath left in my body. 324 00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:26,160 For the love I have for my Lord is like a sea without a shore, 325 00:16:26,280 --> 00:16:28,040 like a sky without a... 326 00:16:28,160 --> 00:16:29,400 I wasn't ready! 327 00:16:29,520 --> 00:16:31,520 I was still speeching! 328 00:16:33,080 --> 00:16:35,680 The only escape from our enemies is to turn and love them. 329 00:16:35,800 --> 00:16:37,040 Or run. Running's good too. 330 00:16:37,160 --> 00:16:38,800 LISTER: Down there! 331 00:16:52,640 --> 00:16:54,560 Look, this door isn't gonna hold for long. 332 00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:57,920 I must face them, forgive them and teach them the gift of love. 333 00:16:58,040 --> 00:17:02,040 And in return, they'll saw off your limbs and stack 'em in a small pile! 334 00:17:02,160 --> 00:17:03,440 (GRUNTS) 335 00:17:03,560 --> 00:17:04,840 RIMMER: What do we do? 336 00:17:04,960 --> 00:17:08,960 We need to build the lemon battery, get back to Red Dwarf and go from there. 337 00:17:09,080 --> 00:17:10,160 What, take JC with us? 338 00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:11,440 Well, we can't leave him here, sir. 339 00:17:11,560 --> 00:17:12,840 No. Leave me. 340 00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:16,280 I must face thine enemies alone. I have no fear of death. 341 00:17:16,400 --> 00:17:18,600 Stick with me, kid - you'll soon change. 342 00:17:18,720 --> 00:17:19,800 Ooh! 343 00:17:19,920 --> 00:17:23,640 - Are you OK? - I have pain, but it-it-it will pass. 344 00:17:23,760 --> 00:17:26,120 - (BOTH GRUNT) - No time to waste, Kryten. 345 00:17:26,240 --> 00:17:27,760 Start wiring the lemons! 346 00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:29,360 We need wire. I'll use my finger. 347 00:17:31,080 --> 00:17:33,000 The gladiator removes his finger?! 348 00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:36,920 It's as if I've smoked some bark from an acacia tree. 349 00:17:37,040 --> 00:17:38,920 Bad bark. Well bad bark. 350 00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:41,960 It's... Just relax. 351 00:17:42,080 --> 00:17:43,520 We're just making a battery. 352 00:17:43,640 --> 00:17:45,840 It stores energy, sir. 353 00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:49,120 Electromagnetic interactions between subatomic particles. 354 00:17:49,240 --> 00:17:52,480 Or, to simplify, the copper coin, which is a ductile metal 355 00:17:52,600 --> 00:17:54,560 with high thermal and electrical conductivity, 356 00:17:54,680 --> 00:17:56,080 serves as the positive electrode, 357 00:17:56,200 --> 00:18:00,720 and the galvanised nail is the electron-producing negative electrode. 358 00:18:00,840 --> 00:18:04,680 The zinc is oxidised and produces an electrochemical reaction, 359 00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:08,200 which generates an electrical charge, all from the lemon. 360 00:18:09,520 --> 00:18:13,240 - Interesting. I-I have but one question. - Oh, fire away, sir. 361 00:18:13,360 --> 00:18:14,680 What's a lemon? 362 00:18:16,880 --> 00:18:18,160 Enjoy the moment. 363 00:18:18,280 --> 00:18:19,920 You're no longer the dumb one. 364 00:18:20,040 --> 00:18:21,520 Thanks, bud! 365 00:18:21,640 --> 00:18:23,400 The door's going. 366 00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:25,680 - Quick, group together. - LISTER: Tight circle! 367 00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:27,000 Let's go! 368 00:18:33,760 --> 00:18:36,120 Lemons truly are an amazing fruit! 369 00:18:37,280 --> 00:18:38,880 Man, am I glad to be back. 370 00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:40,800 At last I can get a change of underwear. 371 00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:43,880 These suckers are riding so high, they'd show up on X-rays. 372 00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:47,200 Suggest we clean up and then return to 23 AD. 373 00:18:47,320 --> 00:18:50,800 In the meantime, I'll have a tinker with the rejuve shower. 374 00:18:54,520 --> 00:18:57,000 JESUS: It is totally amazing. 375 00:18:57,120 --> 00:18:59,160 - What are you showing him, the TV? - No. 376 00:18:59,280 --> 00:19:00,480 A bag. 377 00:19:00,600 --> 00:19:06,840 You can store any object into its strange cloth walls 378 00:19:06,960 --> 00:19:08,840 and then carry these objects any... 379 00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:10,560 I'm dizzied by its genius! 380 00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:13,480 Look! Look at the things than I can... 381 00:19:13,600 --> 00:19:15,080 Ooh. Oooh! 382 00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:16,240 What? 383 00:19:16,360 --> 00:19:18,560 Ah. The demon returns. 384 00:19:18,680 --> 00:19:20,160 Demon? What demon?! 385 00:19:20,280 --> 00:19:22,920 The one that lurks within me is reawoken. 386 00:19:23,040 --> 00:19:25,280 Lister, have you given Jesus a vindaloo? 387 00:19:26,440 --> 00:19:27,560 Course not. 388 00:19:27,680 --> 00:19:29,600 We had a jalfrezi. 389 00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:31,440 Where does it hurt, sir? 390 00:19:31,560 --> 00:19:33,000 My back. 391 00:19:33,120 --> 00:19:34,520 And when did it start? 392 00:19:34,640 --> 00:19:35,840 14 nights ago. 393 00:19:35,960 --> 00:19:38,680 It...it sleeps, it-it wakes. 394 00:19:39,840 --> 00:19:40,960 Excuse me. 395 00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:47,200 Well, we'll need an X-ray to confirm, but I think he's got a kidney stone. 396 00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:48,720 We may need to operate. 397 00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:49,880 Is it life-threatening? 398 00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:51,280 Depends who's operating. 399 00:19:52,920 --> 00:19:54,080 14 days. 400 00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:56,040 Sounds like the stone's too big to pass. 401 00:19:56,160 --> 00:19:59,680 His kidney could shrivel and die, and complications could set in. 402 00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:04,080 We get him down the medilab, we fix him up, we beam him back to AD 23 - 403 00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:05,320 what's the problem? 404 00:20:05,440 --> 00:20:06,800 We can't trust the medicomputer, sir. 405 00:20:06,920 --> 00:20:09,960 Remember what happened when you went for a mumps and rubella injection? 406 00:20:10,080 --> 00:20:12,640 Yeah, I asked for a rube jab, woke up with a boob job. 407 00:20:12,760 --> 00:20:16,600 - Still not right up here. - So, we're gonna have to do it. 408 00:20:16,720 --> 00:20:18,000 But we're not qualified. 409 00:20:18,120 --> 00:20:19,720 I'm perfectly qualified, sir. 410 00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:22,240 After all, I've been operating on Mr Lister for years. 411 00:20:22,360 --> 00:20:23,960 You what?! 412 00:20:24,080 --> 00:20:27,160 Well, not trusting the medicomputer, sir, what choice do I have? 413 00:20:27,280 --> 00:20:28,680 What kind of operations? 414 00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:30,200 It's all above board, sir. 415 00:20:30,320 --> 00:20:32,000 I asked Mr Rimmer for permission. 416 00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:38,800 Well, sir, you remember that stomach pain you had a few months ago. 417 00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:40,040 - Yeah. - You remember 418 00:20:40,160 --> 00:20:42,480 - the searing agony you were in? - Yeah. 419 00:20:42,600 --> 00:20:44,600 And remember how that just sort of stopped? 420 00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:45,760 Yeah. 421 00:20:45,880 --> 00:20:47,880 Well, that's because I performed a splenectomy on you, sir. 422 00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:49,960 A what?! 423 00:20:50,080 --> 00:20:51,560 I removed your spleen. 424 00:20:52,680 --> 00:20:54,680 My spleen? You removed my spleen?! 425 00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:56,760 Well, where is it? I might need that. 426 00:20:56,880 --> 00:20:59,400 It's with the rest of your organs... in the freezer. 427 00:21:01,240 --> 00:21:03,280 Next to my quarters. On B Deck. 428 00:21:14,080 --> 00:21:15,480 Excuse me. 429 00:21:18,640 --> 00:21:20,880 So, this operation - what does it involve? 430 00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:25,440 Well, we need to insert a laser and a ureteroscope up his urethra, 431 00:21:25,560 --> 00:21:27,640 locate the stone and haul it out. 432 00:21:27,760 --> 00:21:30,520 Kryten, the only urethra I know is Urethra Franklin. 433 00:21:30,640 --> 00:21:32,400 In English. 434 00:21:32,520 --> 00:21:33,800 Here's a hint. 435 00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:37,480 It's the last place any man wants anyone inserting anything. 436 00:21:37,600 --> 00:21:38,880 You what? 437 00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:40,640 You're stuffing stuff up his Schneiberhauser? 438 00:21:40,760 --> 00:21:42,760 D'you know who we're dealing with here? 439 00:21:42,880 --> 00:21:44,760 But, sir, it's a perfectly standard operation. 440 00:21:44,880 --> 00:21:47,360 Yeah, that's cos you're not a member of the Schneiberhauser club. 441 00:21:47,480 --> 00:21:52,360 But me, as self-appointed president of the Schneiberhauser Owners' Society, 442 00:21:52,480 --> 00:21:55,520 let me tell you, that is not a standard operation! 443 00:21:55,640 --> 00:21:59,240 Well, perhaps we should inform him of what we intend to do. 444 00:21:59,360 --> 00:22:02,320 I think he might notice, don't you? Well, what's the plan? 445 00:22:02,440 --> 00:22:05,400 I keep him talking over dinner while you disappear under the table? 446 00:22:05,520 --> 00:22:08,560 Best bet for a smooth operation - he's out cold. 447 00:22:08,680 --> 00:22:10,920 - (LISTER SIGHS) - I thought we'd run out of anaesthetic. 448 00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:12,240 Who needs anaesthetic? 449 00:22:12,360 --> 00:22:14,960 Just tell him what you're gonna do, he'll faint on the spot! 450 00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:18,760 Mr Lister, sir, could you hold this? 451 00:22:20,600 --> 00:22:22,880 I'm not holding it. I barely know him. 452 00:22:24,800 --> 00:22:27,600 Well, someone's gotta hold it while I insert the camera. 453 00:22:28,880 --> 00:22:31,520 Don't look at me. I'm done throwing up for today. 454 00:22:32,760 --> 00:22:34,240 Well, then, you'll have to do it, sir. 455 00:22:34,360 --> 00:22:36,720 I-I don't wanna be a holder. Why can't I be a shover? 456 00:22:36,840 --> 00:22:39,440 You're not qualified to be a shover, sir. 457 00:22:39,560 --> 00:22:41,720 I'll hold it. 458 00:22:41,840 --> 00:22:44,480 It'll be an absolute privilege to hold it. 459 00:22:44,600 --> 00:22:48,280 - You what? - Pass the barbecue tongs. 460 00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:51,520 This is the high point of my entire career. 461 00:22:57,840 --> 00:23:00,760 Well, we should let him rest, sirs. He'll be raring to go in the morning. 462 00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:03,160 Your kindness is boundless. 463 00:23:03,280 --> 00:23:04,720 Need anything doing, just holler. 464 00:23:04,840 --> 00:23:07,760 There's some books on the table if you get bored, computer games, feel free. 465 00:23:07,880 --> 00:23:09,920 Just the bag. 466 00:23:11,040 --> 00:23:12,440 Just the bag. 467 00:23:20,600 --> 00:23:22,560 Mr Jesus, sir, good morning! 468 00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:26,640 Mr Jesus? 469 00:23:26,760 --> 00:23:27,760 Oh! 470 00:23:27,880 --> 00:23:29,680 He hath risen! Ha! 471 00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:30,960 Ooh! 472 00:23:32,920 --> 00:23:34,920 Oh. 473 00:23:36,560 --> 00:23:38,400 (BEEPING) 474 00:23:38,520 --> 00:23:40,000 Oh, goodness. 475 00:23:53,200 --> 00:23:55,560 Well, who was the idiot who let him read a history book? 476 00:23:55,680 --> 00:23:56,880 Look, I didn't think. 477 00:23:57,000 --> 00:23:58,760 Didn't it occur to you that him reading about 478 00:23:58,880 --> 00:24:01,880 how many wars Christianity's caused might mess him up a bit? 479 00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:03,160 So where is he now? 480 00:24:03,280 --> 00:24:06,640 Well, according to the note, he's gone back to 23 AD 481 00:24:06,760 --> 00:24:08,480 so he can trash his reputation 482 00:24:08,600 --> 00:24:13,720 so "this Christianity thingeth never taketh offeth-eth-eth-eth". 483 00:24:13,840 --> 00:24:15,760 What, no Christianity? 484 00:24:15,880 --> 00:24:17,160 What about Christmas? 485 00:24:17,280 --> 00:24:19,960 We've killed Wallace & Gromit! 486 00:24:21,880 --> 00:24:24,080 Trash his reputation? How can he do that? 487 00:24:24,200 --> 00:24:27,560 Well, breaking the Ten Commandments might be a pretty good place to start. 488 00:24:27,680 --> 00:24:28,920 So wait a minute. 489 00:24:29,040 --> 00:24:33,120 He's gone back to 23 AD, and we can't go and get him cos he's taken the remote? 490 00:24:33,240 --> 00:24:34,880 We do have a spare, sir. 491 00:24:38,440 --> 00:24:39,600 Erin, Erin, Erin! 492 00:24:39,720 --> 00:24:42,640 - Jesus, my boy! Come, come... - I'm looking for my uncle. 493 00:24:42,760 --> 00:24:43,960 - Hast thou seen him? - No. 494 00:24:44,080 --> 00:24:46,680 If thou seest him, tell him... 495 00:24:46,800 --> 00:24:48,880 that I will be in the tavern, 496 00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:51,080 drinking wine in great plenty 497 00:24:51,200 --> 00:24:54,000 until my legs do the dance of a newly born camel. 498 00:24:54,120 --> 00:24:58,520 And then my mind will turn to dark, vile thoughts, 499 00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:01,000 and I'll start coveting my neighbour's oxen! 500 00:25:03,160 --> 00:25:05,280 That's breaking the Tenth Commandment, that is. 501 00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:09,160 Oooh! And if there's time, I might even covet his donkey. 502 00:25:09,280 --> 00:25:12,120 And when I've finished coveting things, 503 00:25:12,240 --> 00:25:16,600 I might make a small statue out of wood and-and-and idolise it a bit. 504 00:25:16,720 --> 00:25:19,520 You'd better watch yourself. God is a jealous god. 505 00:25:19,640 --> 00:25:22,200 You do that, and he won't just get you, you know. 506 00:25:22,320 --> 00:25:26,640 According to the Second Commandment, he'll wipe out all your descendants. 507 00:25:26,760 --> 00:25:29,120 Isn't that breaking the Sixth Commandment? 508 00:25:29,240 --> 00:25:30,680 Thou shalt not kill? 509 00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:32,880 It's not killing. It's genocide. 510 00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:35,080 I think that's OK. 511 00:25:39,040 --> 00:25:42,240 So...doesn't God break the Tenth Commandment, 512 00:25:42,360 --> 00:25:45,160 wishing people worshipped him when they worship someone else? 513 00:25:45,280 --> 00:25:48,240 I mean, isn't that coveting the followers of your neighbour's god? 514 00:25:48,360 --> 00:25:50,320 Don't you try and trip God up. 515 00:25:50,440 --> 00:25:52,720 Look, he wrote those commandments in a rush. 516 00:25:52,840 --> 00:25:55,600 He didn't have time to get them proofread. 517 00:25:55,720 --> 00:26:01,080 It's strange, but these Ten Commandments seem to ignore the rights 518 00:26:01,200 --> 00:26:02,800 - of women and children... - Shhh! 519 00:26:02,920 --> 00:26:05,720 ...but are big on protecting the rights of oxen-, slave- and donkey-owners. 520 00:26:05,840 --> 00:26:08,400 - Keep it down! - I mean, it's almost as if 521 00:26:08,520 --> 00:26:14,320 a man made up these commandments to keep a primitive people in check. 522 00:26:14,440 --> 00:26:16,040 There he is! Get him. 523 00:26:17,960 --> 00:26:19,040 Ooh! 524 00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:21,120 Jesus! Stop him! 525 00:26:21,240 --> 00:26:23,880 Stop that man! Jesus! 526 00:26:28,040 --> 00:26:29,360 You wanna fight, then, doth thou? 527 00:26:29,480 --> 00:26:31,240 - No. - Well, put 'em up, then. 528 00:26:31,360 --> 00:26:32,840 Let's see what you've got. Don't...don't think 529 00:26:32,960 --> 00:26:35,160 that just because I'm a man of peace, I can't punch your teeth out. 530 00:26:35,280 --> 00:26:37,200 I'm not fighting you, Jesus. 531 00:26:37,320 --> 00:26:38,680 It'd be like punching Gandhi. 532 00:26:46,520 --> 00:26:49,760 No, no. No, mind my hair! You...you're messing with my hair! 533 00:26:49,880 --> 00:26:52,000 Look, don't do this. 534 00:26:52,120 --> 00:26:53,680 Why not? 535 00:26:53,800 --> 00:26:57,200 Look, so some stupid people did some stupid things in your name. 536 00:26:57,320 --> 00:26:59,120 It's not your fault. 537 00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:00,760 You make a lot of people happy. 538 00:27:00,880 --> 00:27:02,200 I mean, look at me. 539 00:27:02,320 --> 00:27:06,360 I presumed that, throughout history, all famous people were amazing. 540 00:27:06,480 --> 00:27:07,680 And then I met you... 541 00:27:07,800 --> 00:27:09,840 and I realised they're not. 542 00:27:09,960 --> 00:27:11,960 In fact, you're a bit of a knob. 543 00:27:13,480 --> 00:27:14,920 Just like me. 544 00:27:15,040 --> 00:27:17,080 Which means that I'm OK. 545 00:27:17,200 --> 00:27:18,880 Yeah, I don't wanna be me. 546 00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:20,960 I don't wanna walk down the street and have people say, 547 00:27:21,080 --> 00:27:24,480 "Oh, look, there's the Jesus of Caesarea, the guy who caused all the wars." 548 00:27:25,640 --> 00:27:27,200 Jesus of Caesarea? 549 00:27:27,320 --> 00:27:29,360 You mean Jesus of Nazareth. 550 00:27:29,480 --> 00:27:31,320 Jesus of Caesarea. 551 00:27:31,440 --> 00:27:34,600 Son of Rachel the fornicator, Samuel the chicken-stealer. 552 00:27:35,680 --> 00:27:37,560 Samuel the chicken-stealer? 553 00:27:37,680 --> 00:27:39,800 He stole them, not me. Take it up with him. 554 00:27:39,920 --> 00:27:42,520 I'm always having to leg it because of him. 555 00:27:42,640 --> 00:27:44,960 Um, is Jesus quite a popular name around here? 556 00:27:45,080 --> 00:27:46,200 Yeah, there's a few of us. 557 00:27:46,320 --> 00:27:48,320 There's Jesus, son of John, with a funny nose. 558 00:27:48,440 --> 00:27:50,120 Jesus, son of Luke. 559 00:27:50,240 --> 00:27:52,000 He, er, wraps plant leaves around the feet of horses. 560 00:27:52,120 --> 00:27:54,160 About 70 of us at the last census. 561 00:27:57,120 --> 00:27:58,960 Does this mean I'm not the son of God? 562 00:28:00,560 --> 00:28:01,880 Oh, bugger! 563 00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:04,080 Count your blessings! 564 00:28:04,200 --> 00:28:06,120 - It's not been all bad. - And how's that? 565 00:28:06,240 --> 00:28:08,480 You've had a little trip to the future. 566 00:28:09,600 --> 00:28:12,240 Take what you've learned and do something with it. 567 00:28:14,360 --> 00:28:17,280 Get your bags, genuine JC bags, people! 568 00:28:17,400 --> 00:28:19,560 Come on. Get your bag. 569 00:28:19,680 --> 00:28:22,400 One bowl of goat curry, then we're out of here. 570 00:28:22,520 --> 00:28:23,760 Hey, check this. 571 00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:28,160 - I bid thee good day. - Hast thou booked? 572 00:28:28,280 --> 00:28:30,360 Jesus, table for two. 573 00:28:33,600 --> 00:28:35,560 My brother booked. It may be in his name. 574 00:28:35,680 --> 00:28:37,240 And his name, sir? 575 00:28:37,360 --> 00:28:38,520 Judas. 576 00:28:41,560 --> 00:28:44,040 Here it is. 577 00:28:44,160 --> 00:28:45,440 LISTER: Rimmer... 578 00:28:45,560 --> 00:28:46,840 BOTH: Sit down! 579 00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:52,800 # It's cold outside There's no kind of atmosphere 580 00:28:52,920 --> 00:28:56,160 # I'm all alone, more or less 581 00:28:56,280 --> 00:28:59,360 # Let me fly far away from here 582 00:28:59,480 --> 00:29:02,440 # Fun, fun, fun 583 00:29:02,560 --> 00:29:05,960 # In the sun, sun, sun 584 00:29:06,080 --> 00:29:09,440 # I want to lie Shipwrecked and comatose 585 00:29:09,560 --> 00:29:12,600 # Drinking fresh mango juice 586 00:29:12,720 --> 00:29:16,240 # Goldfish shoals nibbling on my toes 587 00:29:16,360 --> 00:29:18,920 # Fun, fun, fun 588 00:29:19,040 --> 00:29:22,560 # In the sun, sun, sun 589 00:29:22,680 --> 00:29:25,600 # Fun, fun, fun 590 00:29:25,720 --> 00:29:29,840 # In the sun, sun, sun. # 591 00:29:33,880 --> 00:29:36,160 (EXPLOSION) 42222

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