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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,375 --> 00:00:03,928 ♪ It seems today that all you see ♪ 2 00:00:03,929 --> 00:00:07,265 ♪ Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪ 3 00:00:07,266 --> 00:00:10,935 ♪ But where are those good old-fashioned values ♪ 4 00:00:10,936 --> 00:00:13,966 ♪ On which we used to rely? ♪ 5 00:00:13,967 --> 00:00:17,241 ♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪ 6 00:00:17,242 --> 00:00:20,470 ♪ Lucky there's a man who positively can do ♪ 7 00:00:20,471 --> 00:00:22,201 ♪ All the things that make us ♪ 8 00:00:22,202 --> 00:00:23,652 ♪ Laugh and cry ♪ 9 00:00:23,653 --> 00:00:28,995 ♪ He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! ♪ 10 00:00:29,905 --> 00:00:34,117 Sync and corrections by btsix www.addic7ed.com 11 00:00:34,118 --> 00:00:37,371 Thanks for driving me to the library for story time, Brian. 12 00:00:37,372 --> 00:00:39,830 Today we're reading The Very Hungry Caterpillar 13 00:00:39,831 --> 00:00:41,403 vs. The Human Centipede. 14 00:00:41,404 --> 00:00:43,357 I heard it's like Alien vs. Predator. 15 00:00:43,358 --> 00:00:44,855 With a little bit more butt eating. 16 00:00:44,856 --> 00:00:47,084 That does sound fun, but what if I took you 17 00:00:47,085 --> 00:00:49,345 - to a different library today? - What? 18 00:00:49,346 --> 00:00:52,363 But I like my library. I met Curious George there. 19 00:00:52,364 --> 00:00:54,687 Mom said he was a puppet, but she's stupid. 20 00:00:54,688 --> 00:00:56,304 I'm just saying we should go to the library 21 00:00:56,305 --> 00:00:57,618 at Quahog University 22 00:00:57,619 --> 00:00:59,555 and take your education to a higher level. 23 00:00:59,556 --> 00:01:02,217 I guess I can try it. I mean, I do want to get ahead. 24 00:01:02,218 --> 00:01:05,874 I don't want to end up like Meg, doing sad one-woman shows. 25 00:01:05,875 --> 00:01:09,698 ♪ Oh, I love trash ♪ 26 00:01:09,699 --> 00:01:13,960 ♪ Anything dirty or dingy or dusty ♪ 27 00:01:13,961 --> 00:01:18,165 ♪ Anything ragged or rotten or rusty ♪ 28 00:01:18,166 --> 00:01:22,601 ♪ Yes, I love trash... ♪ 29 00:01:22,602 --> 00:01:24,136 Whose fault is this? 30 00:01:24,137 --> 00:01:25,972 You're wearing a garbage bag as a cape. 31 00:01:25,973 --> 00:01:27,007 Who do you think? 32 00:01:27,008 --> 00:01:29,723 - Him? - Shh. She's crushing it! 33 00:01:38,451 --> 00:01:41,003 Oh, yeah. That's good library. 34 00:01:41,004 --> 00:01:43,722 Aw, you didn't come here for me; you came to be a creep. 35 00:01:43,723 --> 00:01:45,192 Whatever. You go do your thing. 36 00:01:45,193 --> 00:01:47,726 I'm gonna go watch that young hotshot attorney over there 37 00:01:47,727 --> 00:01:49,996 who's clearly in the middle of a movie montage. 38 00:02:01,358 --> 00:02:04,228 Oh! He found it. He's gonna win the case. 39 00:02:06,980 --> 00:02:09,249 Oh, no. It was a '70s movie. 40 00:02:20,211 --> 00:02:22,243 - So, who you reading? - George Eliot. 41 00:02:22,244 --> 00:02:23,740 Ah, Georgie. 42 00:02:23,741 --> 00:02:24,933 I'm a big fan. 43 00:02:24,934 --> 00:02:26,133 - I think he, uh... - She. 44 00:02:26,134 --> 00:02:28,268 She said it best when she said... 45 00:02:28,269 --> 00:02:31,004 "Bantam Press, 1851." 46 00:02:32,440 --> 00:02:34,207 - Lumineers? - What? 47 00:02:34,208 --> 00:02:35,225 Hmm? 48 00:02:35,226 --> 00:02:37,471 You just said "Lumineers" with no context. 49 00:02:37,472 --> 00:02:39,179 Did I do that? 50 00:02:39,180 --> 00:02:40,532 Ugh! 51 00:02:41,698 --> 00:02:42,815 Tumblr? 52 00:02:45,870 --> 00:02:49,689 Wow, I've never seen someone go oh for six in 15 minutes before. 53 00:02:49,690 --> 00:02:52,714 Just hard rejection after hard rejection. 54 00:02:55,229 --> 00:02:57,830 - What's going on over there? - Looks like a student rally. 55 00:02:57,831 --> 00:02:59,615 They probably forgot to study for an exam, 56 00:02:59,616 --> 00:03:01,277 so they organized a protest. 57 00:03:01,278 --> 00:03:03,180 In the '90s, you'd just pull a fire alarm... 58 00:03:03,181 --> 00:03:04,412 Now you hold a protest. 59 00:03:04,413 --> 00:03:07,536 That is, when they're not looking down at their phones. 60 00:03:11,040 --> 00:03:12,740 Hey, what's going on? 61 00:03:12,741 --> 00:03:14,924 Someone wrote "weird" on the transgender bathroom, 62 00:03:14,925 --> 00:03:16,926 and the school president didn't overreact, 63 00:03:16,927 --> 00:03:18,462 so we want him fired! 64 00:03:18,463 --> 00:03:19,797 Seems reasonable. 65 00:03:19,798 --> 00:03:20,864 Exactly! 66 00:03:20,865 --> 00:03:22,366 Oh, I see news cameras. 67 00:03:22,367 --> 00:03:25,756 I'm gonna yell "Viva la Stool" like a young, white drunkard. 68 00:03:26,750 --> 00:03:29,319 And last week, a professor told his class to have a nice day, 69 00:03:29,320 --> 00:03:30,420 which is microaggression, 70 00:03:30,421 --> 00:03:32,542 because in our systemic rape culture 71 00:03:32,543 --> 00:03:33,823 no day is a nice day. 72 00:03:33,824 --> 00:03:35,862 So we want him fired, too. 73 00:03:35,863 --> 00:03:37,527 Hey, if you don't want to get fired, 74 00:03:37,528 --> 00:03:39,295 - don't become a teacher, right? - Totally. 75 00:03:39,296 --> 00:03:41,884 You should tweet that. #FireEveryone. 76 00:03:41,885 --> 00:03:43,132 Viva la Stool! 77 00:03:43,133 --> 00:03:46,035 Well, I guess I could fire up my account again. 78 00:03:46,036 --> 00:03:47,437 All right, open app. 79 00:03:47,438 --> 00:03:49,205 Got a bunch of those. No biggie. 80 00:03:49,206 --> 00:03:50,606 Typing tweet. 81 00:03:50,607 --> 00:03:52,108 Blast off in three, 82 00:03:52,109 --> 00:03:53,676 two, one, 83 00:03:53,677 --> 00:03:55,445 and tweeted. 84 00:03:55,446 --> 00:03:58,014 I am back in the game. See? 85 00:03:58,015 --> 00:03:59,615 Oop, you're gone. 86 00:03:59,616 --> 00:04:01,317 And the crowd is gone. 87 00:04:01,318 --> 00:04:02,868 And the animators are gone. 88 00:04:08,415 --> 00:04:10,149 Hey, Stewie, what do you think about this tweet? 89 00:04:10,150 --> 00:04:11,650 Oh, don't be that guy. 90 00:04:11,651 --> 00:04:13,669 "Kelly Ripa no-shows at work." 91 00:04:13,670 --> 00:04:16,440 Who does she think she is, a Republican senator? 92 00:04:16,441 --> 00:04:18,799 #G-O-P-U. 93 00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:21,428 Three references in one tweet. I'm sweating. 94 00:04:21,429 --> 00:04:23,187 I'll just add it to my notes for later. 95 00:04:23,188 --> 00:04:24,815 Why are you getting into Twitter now? 96 00:04:24,816 --> 00:04:27,717 Unless you're an athlete or a celebrity, no one cares. 97 00:04:27,718 --> 00:04:29,374 A lot of people like my stuff. 98 00:04:29,375 --> 00:04:32,022 Oh, yeah? Someone needs to tell Donald Trump 99 00:04:32,023 --> 00:04:33,227 it's not fashionable 100 00:04:33,228 --> 00:04:35,426 to wear orange on your face after Labor Day. 101 00:04:35,427 --> 00:04:37,400 #OompaTrumpa. 102 00:04:37,401 --> 00:04:39,379 Zero retweets. Zero likes. 103 00:04:39,380 --> 00:04:40,888 - Yeah, viral. - You know, I don't care. 104 00:04:40,889 --> 00:04:42,515 You can't stop me. Just like people 105 00:04:42,516 --> 00:04:44,968 can't stop Peter from ordering shepherd's pie. 106 00:04:44,969 --> 00:04:46,870 And what can I get for you, sir? 107 00:04:46,871 --> 00:04:48,105 I'll have the shepherd's pie. 108 00:04:48,106 --> 00:04:50,039 I'm sorry, but that's not on the menu. 109 00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:51,875 - Well, do you have potatoes? - Yes. 110 00:04:51,876 --> 00:04:52,945 - Butter? - Yes. 111 00:04:52,946 --> 00:04:54,046 - Cream? - Yes. 112 00:04:54,047 --> 00:04:55,047 - Salt? - Yes. 113 00:04:55,048 --> 00:04:56,048 - Pepper? - Yes. 114 00:04:56,049 --> 00:04:57,049 - Garlic? - Yes. 115 00:04:57,050 --> 00:04:58,117 - Onions? - Yes. 116 00:04:58,118 --> 00:04:59,217 - Lamb? - Yes. 117 00:04:59,218 --> 00:05:00,318 - Carrots? - Yes. 118 00:05:00,319 --> 00:05:01,387 - Eggs? - Yes. 119 00:05:01,388 --> 00:05:02,455 - Flour? - Yes. 120 00:05:02,456 --> 00:05:03,556 - Rosemary? - Yes. 121 00:05:03,557 --> 00:05:04,590 - Thyme? - Yes. 122 00:05:04,591 --> 00:05:05,658 - Chicken broth? - Yes. 123 00:05:05,659 --> 00:05:06,726 - Corn? - Yes. 124 00:05:06,727 --> 00:05:07,792 - Peas? - Yes. 125 00:05:07,793 --> 00:05:08,793 Lightsaber? 126 00:05:09,761 --> 00:05:12,716 Remember when we did Star Wars? 127 00:05:18,653 --> 00:05:21,841 Better get a tweet out before I go dark for a few hours. 128 00:05:23,031 --> 00:05:25,677 About to see the new Kevin Hart movie. 129 00:05:25,678 --> 00:05:28,481 Just kidding. I'm white and went to college. 130 00:05:28,482 --> 00:05:30,768 #BaywatchMovie. 131 00:06:29,826 --> 00:06:31,766 Wow, I haven't seen that much camel toe 132 00:06:31,767 --> 00:06:33,179 since the Arab Spring. 133 00:06:33,180 --> 00:06:35,949 #ThinkingInTweets. 134 00:06:37,718 --> 00:06:39,152 Nah. 135 00:06:39,153 --> 00:06:42,171 Hey, are you @dogbackwards from Twitter? 136 00:06:42,172 --> 00:06:43,792 I am. Are-are you a fan? 137 00:06:43,793 --> 00:06:45,386 You racist jerk! 138 00:06:45,387 --> 00:06:47,739 I hope you get foot-and-mouth disease! 139 00:06:47,740 --> 00:06:49,246 What the hell was that? 140 00:06:50,313 --> 00:06:52,217 Uh-oh. 141 00:06:56,154 --> 00:06:58,472 Wow, you are blowing up! 142 00:06:58,473 --> 00:07:00,041 Blowing up bad. 143 00:07:00,042 --> 00:07:02,542 Ah, look at that... Huffington Post just picked it up. 144 00:07:02,543 --> 00:07:03,743 Buckle up, buddy. 145 00:07:08,550 --> 00:07:10,702 - There he is! - Where? I'm in the back. 146 00:07:20,109 --> 00:07:22,662 Hey, how was Baywatch? I want to see that bad. 147 00:07:22,663 --> 00:07:24,364 What were you thinking, writing that tweet? 148 00:07:24,365 --> 00:07:25,865 What? It was just a joke. 149 00:07:25,866 --> 00:07:29,241 Brian, it's not 2005... You can't just go online 150 00:07:29,242 --> 00:07:30,496 and say whatever you want. 151 00:07:30,497 --> 00:07:32,956 Yeah, remember how mad people got when DiGiorno tweeted 152 00:07:32,957 --> 00:07:34,241 about domestic violence? 153 00:07:34,242 --> 00:07:36,443 And they're not even a guy. They're pizza. 154 00:07:36,444 --> 00:07:38,411 All right, all right, I'll delete the tweet. 155 00:07:38,412 --> 00:07:40,113 You haven't deleted it yet? 156 00:07:40,114 --> 00:07:42,200 What a train wreck! 157 00:07:44,534 --> 00:07:45,553 There. Done. Done. 158 00:07:45,554 --> 00:07:47,020 See? It's done. It's gone. 159 00:07:47,021 --> 00:07:49,259 What about all those people outside? 160 00:07:49,260 --> 00:07:50,457 They'll see that I deleted it, 161 00:07:50,458 --> 00:07:52,032 and it'll all blow over. Trust me. 162 00:07:52,033 --> 00:07:53,594 I hope so, but you never know. 163 00:07:53,595 --> 00:07:57,031 They're still pretty mad at me down at Dick's Sporting Goods. 164 00:07:57,032 --> 00:07:58,799 Um, what's the name of this place? 165 00:07:58,800 --> 00:08:00,200 Dick's. 166 00:08:00,201 --> 00:08:02,536 A-And what's that say on your shirt? 167 00:08:02,537 --> 00:08:04,404 Dick's. 168 00:08:04,405 --> 00:08:07,196 Can I have two balls... and a helmet? 169 00:08:07,197 --> 00:08:09,109 Hey, you're the guy from the phone. 170 00:08:10,211 --> 00:08:11,711 Start the car, Chris! 171 00:08:11,712 --> 00:08:13,877 - Did you get him, Dad? - We got him! 172 00:08:18,065 --> 00:08:20,320 Hey, Sid. Happy Mango Monday. 173 00:08:20,321 --> 00:08:21,622 Hmm. 174 00:08:21,623 --> 00:08:24,124 Hmm. Those nighttime information technology classes 175 00:08:24,125 --> 00:08:26,292 must really be getting to Sid. 176 00:08:26,293 --> 00:08:27,393 Hey, Curt. 177 00:08:27,394 --> 00:08:28,394 Hmm. 178 00:08:28,395 --> 00:08:30,230 Curt? Come on, it's me, 179 00:08:30,231 --> 00:08:32,065 Lunchtime Lois. 180 00:08:32,066 --> 00:08:33,600 Gil, help me out here. 181 00:08:33,601 --> 00:08:34,756 Hmm! 182 00:08:34,757 --> 00:08:37,670 Gil, no! Uh, what about Barbara? Is she back there? 183 00:08:37,671 --> 00:08:39,380 She can clear this up. 184 00:08:39,381 --> 00:08:40,925 Let me talk to Barbara. 185 00:08:40,926 --> 00:08:42,642 She doesn't want to talk to you, either. 186 00:08:42,643 --> 00:08:43,658 Nobody does... 187 00:08:43,659 --> 00:08:45,813 Not as long as you're living with that racist dog. 188 00:08:45,814 --> 00:08:47,273 Oh, come on! 189 00:08:47,274 --> 00:08:49,032 It was just a bad joke. 190 00:08:49,033 --> 00:08:50,345 Where's Stanley? 191 00:08:50,346 --> 00:08:52,185 He'll vouch for me. Let me talk to Stanley. 192 00:08:52,186 --> 00:08:54,921 Or Henry. Somebody help me out here. 193 00:08:54,922 --> 00:08:56,589 - Chip? - Hmm! 194 00:08:56,590 --> 00:08:58,191 - Karen? - Hmm! 195 00:08:58,192 --> 00:08:59,692 - JJ? - Hmm. 196 00:08:59,693 --> 00:09:01,361 - Angela? - Hmm. 197 00:09:01,362 --> 00:09:02,595 - Tito? - Hmm! 198 00:09:02,596 --> 00:09:04,430 - Larry? - Hmm! 199 00:09:04,431 --> 00:09:06,333 You can't freeze me out like this. 200 00:09:06,334 --> 00:09:08,301 We're on a first-name basis! 201 00:09:08,302 --> 00:09:10,304 They're on our name tags, Lois. 202 00:09:10,305 --> 00:09:12,940 But I don't even have to look! 203 00:09:12,941 --> 00:09:16,227 I don't even have to look! 204 00:09:22,128 --> 00:09:24,517 Hey, how come no one told me we were going to the Clam? 205 00:09:24,518 --> 00:09:25,985 Hey, Jerome, give me a beer. 206 00:09:25,986 --> 00:09:28,188 Oh, why? 'Cause I'm, like, your slave? 207 00:09:28,189 --> 00:09:31,025 Man, you're no better than your racist dog. 208 00:09:31,026 --> 00:09:32,026 Come on, man. 209 00:09:32,027 --> 00:09:33,960 B-Brian was just making a joke. 210 00:09:33,961 --> 00:09:36,718 I told you about Brian. I told you. 211 00:09:36,719 --> 00:09:38,331 Come on, he deleted his tweet. 212 00:09:38,332 --> 00:09:41,613 But the hurt has been RT'd in our hearts. 213 00:09:41,614 --> 00:09:42,802 Peter, you better get out of here 214 00:09:42,803 --> 00:09:45,138 before I start saying "sir" like a cop. 215 00:09:45,139 --> 00:09:47,074 - Come on, Joe, I... - Sir? Sir? 216 00:09:47,075 --> 00:09:48,242 You've been asked to leave. 217 00:09:48,243 --> 00:09:49,977 - Joe, it's me, Peter. I... - Sir. 218 00:09:49,978 --> 00:09:52,146 I don't want to have to ask you again. 219 00:09:52,147 --> 00:09:53,980 - Please leave. - All right, fine. 220 00:09:53,981 --> 00:09:55,248 - Sir! - No, Joe, Joe. 221 00:09:55,249 --> 00:09:56,316 - He's leaving. - Sir! 222 00:09:56,317 --> 00:09:57,417 - Joe, Joe... - Sir! 223 00:09:57,418 --> 00:09:58,702 - He's gone. - Sir. 224 00:09:58,703 --> 00:10:00,204 - It's okay. - Sir. 225 00:10:00,205 --> 00:10:01,205 He's gone. 226 00:10:09,746 --> 00:10:12,057 Your dog wrote an insensitive tweet. 227 00:10:12,058 --> 00:10:13,366 You can't eat here. 228 00:10:13,367 --> 00:10:15,536 Uh-oh, Meg. It's a sensitivity mob. 229 00:10:15,537 --> 00:10:17,103 It was just a joke. 230 00:10:17,104 --> 00:10:19,205 There's no such thing as jokes anymore. 231 00:10:19,206 --> 00:10:21,274 Yeah, we live in a post-joke world. 232 00:10:21,275 --> 00:10:23,344 Chris, maybe we should just eat outside. 233 00:10:23,345 --> 00:10:25,579 No, Meg, we're eating here. 234 00:10:25,580 --> 00:10:27,899 I'd like to see you try. 235 00:11:51,543 --> 00:11:54,689 It was... a joke. 236 00:12:02,477 --> 00:12:04,478 Can you put on the Canucks game? 237 00:12:04,479 --> 00:12:05,812 No, go away. 238 00:12:06,684 --> 00:12:07,837 Loser. 239 00:12:07,838 --> 00:12:09,555 This is getting out of control. 240 00:12:09,556 --> 00:12:11,618 We can't leave the house without getting harassed. 241 00:12:11,619 --> 00:12:13,686 Yeah, yesterday I went outside to try to get the mail 242 00:12:13,687 --> 00:12:14,954 and I had a seizure. 243 00:12:14,955 --> 00:12:16,956 That may not be protester-related, 244 00:12:16,957 --> 00:12:19,203 but still, you got to do something, Brian. 245 00:12:19,204 --> 00:12:20,303 What do you want me to do? 246 00:12:20,304 --> 00:12:22,396 I-I deleted my Twitter account, my Instagram, 247 00:12:22,397 --> 00:12:23,564 Facebook, everything. 248 00:12:23,565 --> 00:12:25,465 People still won't leave me alone. 249 00:12:25,466 --> 00:12:27,066 You have to apologize. 250 00:12:27,067 --> 00:12:28,801 Go outside, do it now. 251 00:12:28,802 --> 00:12:31,529 Tell them that it was a mistake and how sorry you are 252 00:12:31,530 --> 00:12:32,899 and maybe they'll get off our backs. 253 00:12:32,900 --> 00:12:34,568 Maybe you're right. 254 00:12:34,569 --> 00:12:36,870 I got to face them and hope they'll forgive me. 255 00:12:41,017 --> 00:12:42,285 Hello. 256 00:12:42,286 --> 00:12:44,877 As you all know, I'm Brian Griffin. 257 00:12:44,878 --> 00:12:46,213 Boo. 258 00:12:46,214 --> 00:12:48,781 Boo, Brian Griffin. Boo. 259 00:12:48,782 --> 00:12:50,150 I want to read a few words... 260 00:12:50,151 --> 00:12:51,584 Boo. Liar. 261 00:12:51,585 --> 00:12:54,655 Boo, Brian Griffin, boo. 262 00:12:54,656 --> 00:12:56,182 Anyway, I-I want to... 263 00:12:56,183 --> 00:12:57,790 Boo. Apologize somewhere else. 264 00:12:57,791 --> 00:13:01,727 Boo. Boo, Brian, boo. 265 00:13:01,728 --> 00:13:04,563 Ladies and gentlemen, I'm here today to apologize... 266 00:13:04,564 --> 00:13:06,505 Why did you say "ladies" first? 267 00:13:06,506 --> 00:13:07,633 That's sexist. 268 00:13:07,634 --> 00:13:09,502 It's just, it's just a-a standard greeting. 269 00:13:09,503 --> 00:13:12,238 Let-let me start over. Gentlemen and ladies... 270 00:13:12,239 --> 00:13:13,786 Ooh, says the man. 271 00:13:13,787 --> 00:13:16,819 Okay, sorry, I-I... Um, humans in the audience... 272 00:13:16,820 --> 00:13:18,911 I identify as a basketball. 273 00:13:18,912 --> 00:13:20,313 Humans and basketballs... 274 00:13:20,314 --> 00:13:21,847 I'm a parrot who mimics words 275 00:13:21,848 --> 00:13:23,183 but doesn't comprehend them. 276 00:13:23,184 --> 00:13:25,584 Humans, basketballs, talking parrots, 277 00:13:25,585 --> 00:13:27,470 and-and whatever else is out there... 278 00:13:27,471 --> 00:13:29,522 "Whatever"? It's whoever. 279 00:13:29,523 --> 00:13:31,157 Actually, it's whomever. 280 00:13:31,158 --> 00:13:32,958 No one likes you, Mary. 281 00:13:33,976 --> 00:13:35,529 All right, all right, just-just calm down, okay? 282 00:13:35,530 --> 00:13:37,192 Now you're tone policing us! 283 00:13:37,193 --> 00:13:38,765 That makes me uncomfortable. 284 00:13:38,766 --> 00:13:41,601 Anything that makes me uncomfortable in 2017 285 00:13:41,602 --> 00:13:42,769 should be illegal. 286 00:13:42,770 --> 00:13:45,604 You know what? (BLEEP) you. 287 00:13:45,605 --> 00:13:48,149 I'm not a racist, all right? I just told a bad joke. 288 00:13:48,150 --> 00:13:49,488 There's a huge difference. 289 00:13:49,489 --> 00:13:51,110 But nobody on the Internet ever takes the time 290 00:13:51,111 --> 00:13:53,479 to ask themselves, "Is this worth freaking out over?" 291 00:13:53,480 --> 00:13:56,515 Or, "Are there bigger problems in the world than this tweet?" 292 00:13:56,516 --> 00:13:57,983 Well, I assure you, there are. 293 00:13:57,984 --> 00:14:00,453 And just for the record, I love black people. 294 00:14:00,454 --> 00:14:02,188 I watch tons of black porn. 295 00:14:02,189 --> 00:14:04,056 So, what do you all want from me, huh? 296 00:14:04,057 --> 00:14:05,330 You-you want to ruin my life? 297 00:14:05,331 --> 00:14:07,101 Then congratulations. You did it. 298 00:14:07,102 --> 00:14:08,194 Everybody hates me. 299 00:14:08,195 --> 00:14:10,197 I can't leave the house without getting harassed. 300 00:14:10,198 --> 00:14:11,464 No one will hire me. 301 00:14:11,465 --> 00:14:12,799 That was a problem before. 302 00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:15,068 I can't turn on my phone without strangers telling me 303 00:14:15,069 --> 00:14:17,525 to kill myself or that they're gonna kill my family. 304 00:14:17,526 --> 00:14:18,637 Leave me alone! 305 00:14:18,638 --> 00:14:21,474 I'm the self-righteous, liberal douchebag, not you! 306 00:14:21,475 --> 00:14:23,576 I've kissed a transsexual before! 307 00:14:23,577 --> 00:14:24,810 How many of you can say that?! 308 00:14:24,811 --> 00:14:26,150 Where's my (BLEEP) medal?! 309 00:14:26,151 --> 00:14:27,546 I am so far left, 310 00:14:27,547 --> 00:14:29,849 I'm spinning in circles, you (BLEEP). 311 00:14:29,850 --> 00:14:32,518 Instead of killing myself, I should kill all of you! 312 00:14:32,519 --> 00:14:34,253 I'd like to see you try. 313 00:14:44,547 --> 00:14:47,517 Ow! Jeez. 314 00:14:51,522 --> 00:14:53,173 Well, we started the dialogue. 315 00:14:53,174 --> 00:14:55,708 You screamed "black porn" at the top of your lungs 316 00:14:55,709 --> 00:14:57,276 in front of women and children. 317 00:14:57,277 --> 00:14:59,845 I am not the person those people out there say I am. 318 00:14:59,846 --> 00:15:02,114 I know that, but you also haven't done much 319 00:15:02,115 --> 00:15:03,349 to prove that you aren't. 320 00:15:03,350 --> 00:15:05,084 I know, I know. 321 00:15:05,085 --> 00:15:06,780 All I have left is you guys. 322 00:15:07,273 --> 00:15:08,688 Thank God you have my back. 323 00:15:08,689 --> 00:15:10,790 - We think you should move out. - What?! 324 00:15:10,791 --> 00:15:13,693 Oh! Brian, listen, we love you, 325 00:15:13,694 --> 00:15:15,728 but they're throwing things at our house. 326 00:15:15,729 --> 00:15:18,004 We've got to keep our family safe. 327 00:15:18,005 --> 00:15:20,281 I'm sorry. It's for the best. 328 00:15:20,282 --> 00:15:22,468 Are you serious?! You're okay with this?! 329 00:15:22,469 --> 00:15:24,938 Does this slow pan across our disapproving faces 330 00:15:24,939 --> 00:15:26,224 answer your question? 331 00:15:36,799 --> 00:15:38,260 I saw Baywatch. 332 00:15:38,261 --> 00:15:39,894 That thing was frickin' rad. 333 00:15:45,270 --> 00:15:47,122 I still think this is a drastic measure. 334 00:15:47,123 --> 00:15:48,332 Yeah, I messed up, 335 00:15:48,333 --> 00:15:50,332 but what about all the stupid things Peter's done? 336 00:15:50,333 --> 00:15:52,293 He's never been kicked out and his life... 337 00:15:52,294 --> 00:15:53,890 My life is not the issue here. 338 00:15:53,891 --> 00:15:55,145 Peter, calm down. 339 00:15:55,146 --> 00:15:56,481 Did you eat breakfast this morning? 340 00:15:56,482 --> 00:15:58,116 I had a banana and a coffee. 341 00:15:58,117 --> 00:15:59,942 Why am I so fat? 342 00:15:59,943 --> 00:16:03,121 I'm sorry, Brian, but this is the way it has to be. 343 00:16:03,122 --> 00:16:04,338 All right, then. 344 00:16:04,968 --> 00:16:06,621 I guess this is good-bye. 345 00:16:14,983 --> 00:16:16,567 Brian, wait. 346 00:16:17,921 --> 00:16:19,280 This collar is ours. 347 00:16:19,281 --> 00:16:20,704 It has our address on it. 348 00:16:20,705 --> 00:16:22,053 Peace, dude. 349 00:16:30,532 --> 00:16:33,866 All right, radio, time for you to tell me what this all means. 350 00:16:33,867 --> 00:16:35,986 ♪ I got a pocket full of quarters ♪ 351 00:16:35,987 --> 00:16:38,673 ♪ And I'm headed to the arcade ♪ 352 00:16:40,874 --> 00:16:42,659 ♪ I don't have a lot of money ♪ 353 00:16:42,660 --> 00:16:45,346 ♪ But I'm bringing ev'rything I made ♪ 354 00:16:47,615 --> 00:16:49,399 ♪ I've got a callus on my finger ♪ 355 00:16:49,400 --> 00:16:52,420 ♪ And my shoulder's hurting, too ♪ 356 00:16:54,088 --> 00:16:56,406 ♪ I'm gonna eat them all up ♪ 357 00:16:56,407 --> 00:16:59,361 ♪ Just as soon as they turn blue ♪ 358 00:17:01,095 --> 00:17:03,513 ♪ 'Cause I've got Pac-Man fever ♪ 359 00:17:03,514 --> 00:17:05,215 ♪ Pac-Man fever ♪ 360 00:17:05,216 --> 00:17:06,750 ♪ It's driving me crazy ♪ 361 00:17:06,751 --> 00:17:08,051 ♪ Driving me crazy ♪ 362 00:17:08,052 --> 00:17:10,053 ♪ I've got Pac-Man fever ♪ 363 00:17:10,054 --> 00:17:11,621 ♪ Pac-Man fever ♪ 364 00:17:11,622 --> 00:17:13,041 ♪ I'm going out of my mind. ♪ 365 00:17:28,655 --> 00:17:30,774 Hey. Are you here for the Time magazines 366 00:17:30,775 --> 00:17:32,142 with some of the letters cut out? 367 00:17:32,143 --> 00:17:35,504 Uh, no, I... no, I saw that you have an apartment for rent. 368 00:17:35,505 --> 00:17:36,546 Okay. 369 00:17:36,547 --> 00:17:38,664 Here. Apartment 23. 370 00:17:38,665 --> 00:17:39,817 Oh, okay. 371 00:17:39,818 --> 00:17:43,120 I just have one rule here: no kissing the mailman. 372 00:17:43,121 --> 00:17:44,821 I don't think that's gonna be a problem. 373 00:17:44,822 --> 00:17:47,324 You haven't seen him, so don't say that yet. 374 00:17:47,325 --> 00:17:48,592 Mail's here. 375 00:17:48,593 --> 00:17:50,745 Wow. 376 00:18:40,311 --> 00:18:42,130 If I have other items I want to buy, 377 00:18:42,131 --> 00:18:44,114 uh, can I buy them here at the pharmacy window? 378 00:18:44,115 --> 00:18:45,282 Yes. 379 00:18:45,283 --> 00:18:47,450 Ruth? Yeah, bring it over here. 380 00:18:47,451 --> 00:18:48,819 We can buy them over here. 381 00:18:48,820 --> 00:18:50,120 Where are you? 382 00:18:50,121 --> 00:18:51,188 By the pharmacy. 383 00:18:51,189 --> 00:18:54,202 Hang on, I'm picking out sunscreen. 384 00:18:54,203 --> 00:18:55,992 Sir, do you mind if I go ahead of you? 385 00:18:55,993 --> 00:18:58,228 Uh, yes, I do mind. 386 00:18:58,229 --> 00:19:03,485 ♪ This time I have really lead myself astray... ♪ 387 00:19:10,308 --> 00:19:13,578 ♪ Wrong way on a one-way track ♪ 388 00:19:13,579 --> 00:19:17,747 ♪ Seems like I should be getting somewhere ♪ 389 00:19:17,748 --> 00:19:21,985 ♪ Somehow I'm neither here nor there... ♪ 390 00:19:23,988 --> 00:19:25,889 Six dollars? 391 00:19:28,092 --> 00:19:30,660 Hey, did you knock over a few bottles in aisle seven? 392 00:19:30,661 --> 00:19:32,396 Uh, yeah. 393 00:19:35,166 --> 00:19:36,531 Okay. 394 00:19:43,024 --> 00:19:44,774 Patricia? 395 00:19:44,775 --> 00:19:46,710 Where's the big nail clipper? 396 00:19:46,711 --> 00:19:47,778 I don't know. 397 00:19:47,779 --> 00:19:49,079 Did you get rid of it? 398 00:19:49,080 --> 00:19:50,247 Why would I get rid of the big nail clipper? 399 00:19:51,949 --> 00:19:54,117 'Cause you're a bitch, that's why. 400 00:19:54,118 --> 00:19:56,286 Nice. Yeah, now I'm gonna tell you where it is. 401 00:19:56,287 --> 00:19:58,388 I knew you knew where it was, you liar. 402 00:19:58,389 --> 00:19:59,556 Tell me where it is! 403 00:19:59,557 --> 00:20:01,058 No. Find it yourself. 404 00:20:01,059 --> 00:20:02,592 Oh, okay. Fine. 405 00:20:02,593 --> 00:20:04,728 How about I hide something of yours?! Huh?! 406 00:20:04,729 --> 00:20:06,129 Put that back! 407 00:20:06,130 --> 00:20:09,050 No, tell me where the big nail clipper is! 408 00:20:17,892 --> 00:20:19,542 Boom. 409 00:20:19,543 --> 00:20:21,745 Damn it. 410 00:20:21,746 --> 00:20:24,114 Why can't you use the little nail clipper? 411 00:20:24,115 --> 00:20:25,750 I want the big one, okay?! 412 00:20:25,751 --> 00:20:27,784 And I don't want you using it anymore! 413 00:20:27,785 --> 00:20:29,219 Shut up, little man! 414 00:20:29,220 --> 00:20:30,221 You shut up! 415 00:20:30,222 --> 00:20:33,456 Where'd you put it, you liar?! 416 00:20:40,749 --> 00:20:42,561 - $900. - "L." 417 00:20:42,562 --> 00:20:44,234 - "R." - Aw. 418 00:20:44,235 --> 00:20:45,669 Two "R" s. 419 00:20:48,298 --> 00:20:54,298 Sync and corrections by btsix www.addic7ed.com 29593

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