Original subtitles

- This is Nickelodeon's "The Substitute,"

the wildest, weirdest hidden camera show

in Nickelodeon history.

[laughter]

Under the cover of night,

our army of top prank experts

infiltrates a school, placing hidden cameras and microphones

all over its campus.

And then the world's best special effects

makeup artists transform one of your favorite stars

into a super strange substitute teacher--

all this to give a group of unsuspecting students

a day they'll never forget.

[cracking] - Whoa!

- The students have no idea we'll be recording

every reaction they'll have

to the bizarre behavior of the substitute.

[coughing]

Today's substitute is Lilly Singh,

known the world over as an actress, comedian,

content creator, and best-selling author.

Soon, Lilly will also host her own late night show:

"A Little Late with Lilly Singh."

But today, Lilly will be transformed

before your very eyes from super celebrity...

[crashing]

To oddball substitute teacher.

- I am cool, blue cloud.

[gong ringing]

- This is gonna be a day that goes

from stranger to strangest

thanks to the substitute.

[bell rings]

- [groaning] Wake up, wake up.

This morning when I woke up my alarm was at 3:00,

and my dog looked at me like, "No.

Lil, this is not what we're doing today."

[laughs]

I am so not a morning person!

I'm so tired! But it's going to be good.

But I'm so tired!

But it's going to be great.

[sighs] In middle school

I was--what can I say?

I was a star. I was a nerd, actually.

I was such a goodie-goodie. I mean, I was valedictorian.

I chose Wilson Middle School because this school

was actually close to getting shut down.

And the principal and the staff rallied

to make sure it stayed open and I really respect that.

You know, I remember being in school and having

a substitute teacher come in and it's, like, super exciting

for kids when you see a substitute teacher come in.

They're like, "Oh, my God. Okay.

This is an exciting day at school"

and then most of them try to take advantage

of the substitute teacher but...

not me. Not today, kids.

[upbeat music]

Let's transform. Here we go.

[evil laughter]

Morning. - Good morning.

narrator: Lilly will first undergo

a complete transformation.

- Oh, my God, it's all happening.

- Look at all this goodness, right?

- This is so cool.

narrator: Thanks to our team of special effects

makeup artists and world class costume designers.

These experts work with some of Hollywood's biggest stars

on the world's greatest blockbusters.

- So you're gonna be-- have a little bit

of plump added to you.

- I mean, I don't even know the difference.

I kind of like that.

I kinda am super down with that.

Let's do it. I'm into it.

- All right, cool.

- Okay, so we're thinking-- first of all,

we're gonna get you in the under suit

so that you're a bit unrecognizable.

- Okay, tell me about the under suit.

- Okay, are you ready? All right, so,

we may start with this which is a full body suit

which will make you... - This is so weird.

This is literally what I just wore on a red carpet.

[laughter] - Oh, you did?

- I mean, I feel great. I don't--

I feel like I've never looked better, to be honest.

All right, Jen, I need you to-- We're gonna change.

We're gonna change. Buh-bye.

� �

The process of doing prosthetics

is a whole process.

I've done them before but not quite

this dramatic.

� �

I feel a little restrained but it's also,

like, oddly liberating.

I feel like I could be someone else.

- You ready for this, Lilly? - Let's do it, let's do it.

[bell rings]

� �

- � Yeah �

� Do it �

narrator: Before her first class,

Lilly meets with Kimberly from the school for some intel

about the students she's gonna prank.

- Oh, my God. They're real kids.

- Yes. - It's all happening.

Aah!

Is there anything you could tell me about particular

students I'll be dealing with-- - Um, yes.

David, he's going to be very active.

Some of them are jokesters, so keep your eye on Drake.

- They're already touching stuff on my desk.

- Yeah.

Tvene has a big personality.

- I feel like now I'm British.

[British accent] Know what I mean, mate?

Cripes. Just a hoot.

- I think they're ready for you.

- Let's do it. [bell rings]

narrator: For first period, Lilly will be a math teacher

who takes exercise to the extreme.

Can the students solve her problem?

- Hello, class. My name is Mrs. Raganeff

and today I am the substitute.

Hello! I have a bit of an accent.

I came from the UK recently.

Can you understand what I'm saying?

all: Yes. - Sure?

- I like your accent! - Thank you so much!

- First I'm going to teach you math.

Who likes math?

I know you're all lying, but that's okay.

- Ooh, I love math. - Okay, I love math.

We're going to do math first. So first,

something that is very, very easy.

What is...

Eight plus two? Quick as you can!

all: Ten! - Okay.

Ten times two? all: Twenty.

- Okay, what is 20 minus 5?

- Fifteen! - Fifteen, okay.

Sorry, I didn't stretch yet. [stretching]

What is eight times two? - Sixteen.

- Okay, sixteen times two? - Thirty-two.

What is 20 minus 5? - Fifteen.

- Okay, ready for this? What is 10,000 minus 9,935?

- Sixty-five. - Okay, 65 more steps.

65 more steps. I just got a new smart watch,

and I'm trying to hit 10,000 steps today, okay?

[class agreeing] Okay, amazing.

- That's what my third grade teacher was just doing.

- What was that?

- I don't know if I could do the splits.

I could try. Should I try?

- Yeah! - How low do you have to go?

- You have to get your butt to the ground.

- No... - Yeah.

- No... So all the way down?

all: Yeah. - Are you sure?

all: Yeah!

[cracking] Ah!

[laughter] - That was too deep.

- [laughing]

- [groaning] [laughter]

Oh, I definitely pulled something.

- Aww, what?

- How do I fix it? - More stretches.

More stretches.

[grunts] - More stretch.

- Who asked me to do this? - Tvene!

Tvene! - I did not do--that was him.

That was him. - Listen--

Okay, settle down. Settle down.

Gonna make everybody get up. Get up for a second.

We're gonna do a fun exercise.

In your spot, in your spot, in your spot.

Okay. Okay, ready?

We're gonna do a little icebreaker exercise.

Can you count me jumping? - Yeah.

- So I'm gonna clear this off of here.

narrator: Up next...

together: One, two, three-- [cracking]

- Ugh! - Ew...

narrator: And coming up...

[gong ringing] You take like this--

Cool blue cloud!

narrator: When "The Substitute" returns...

narrator: Lilly Singh is disguised

as a substitute teacher

who exercises way too hard.

Will her students step in?

- Okay, ready? We're gonna do

a little ice breaker exercise.

Can you count me jumping?

- Yeah. - So I'm gonna clear this

off here a little bit.

Here we go. - Hey!

- Okay, okay. You ready?

all: Ready. - If I do 15,

I'll reach my steps, okay?

Get the count for me together.

together: One, two, three, four, five--

[cracking] - Oh!

[laughter]

- Get off of the desk!

- Wait, hold on a bit. One second.

- One, two, three, four! - One second, one second.

Everybody take a seat, take a seat, take a seat.

Did your parents ever make you drink green juices?

- No. - Yay, juice!

- They're really good for you! Does anybody know why

green juices are good for you? - Because it's nasty.

Nasty means it's good for you.

- [laughing] What?

- You're disgusting! It's green!

- This is the most delicious thing I've ever tasted.

- Yeah, right. - It is.

If your parents ever give you green juice,

it's really good for you.

[tense music]

- Is it good? Or is it not good?

- That's what I thought.

- [gagging]

[spitting] - Oh, man!

- Oh, my. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.

- Ew... - [clears throat]

Who has good sight? Can you read this?

What does-- - I'll read it!

- What is the expiration on this?

- Oh, no!

- This is old! - What does it say?

- It says 1998. - Oh...

- That's delicious! - Ew!

- Yeah! - Okay, take a seat!

Take a seat, take a seat.

Where's the nearest restroom? - Downstairs.

- You can go to the boy's one. It's closer.

- It's not! [laughter]

- I'm gonna-- I'm gonna call somebody.

Stay here!

[laughter]

Ay-ay-ay-ay.

That was gross for real. [bell rings]

I hope so badly these kids forgive me

at the end of the day. I feel like I scared them,

and I hope they still think I'm cool,

and they laugh about it at the end of the day.

- I think they will. - I'm channeling one

of my aunts so I'm thinking like, a very airy,

slight Indian accent, but, like, calm

with a little bit of underlying rage.

- Let's see. Oh, this is going to be

a good group of students. There's Thelma.

She's an all star.

Annalise is fantastic.

And Brianna, she's one of our favorites.

So are we ready? - All right, let's do it!

[upbeat music]

narrator: For second period, Lilly will play

a new age spiritualist with anger issues.

Will the class lose their cool?

- [Indian accent] Hello, class, my name is Mrs. Raganeff.

Very nice to meet you.

I'm your substitute teacher today.

You know, in my life before...

I used to be very angry person.

Not anymore. Do you know how?

Close your eyes.

I'm going to show you something very special.

Don't open eyes.

Close, close, close.

� �

[bell rings] - whoa!

[laughter]

[bell rings]

[laughter]

- Close, close, close, close.

[bell rings] Close.

[bell rings] Close, close.

[bell rings]

Okay, everybody. I control my anger.

I align all of my chakras

because when I get upset I do like this.

[bell rings]

I am cool, blue cloud.

all: Cool, blue cloud.

- This room needs a little chakra mist.

You ever had before, chakra mist?

- No.

- When you smell, you will feel all your chakras align.

[laughter]

Okay? - [coughing]

- [laughing] - Smell good?

- No... - No?

It smells very good. I love it.

- Oh! [laughter]

- Pepper? Smell it like a flower.

- Oh, God.

- Who want more?

[laughter]

[clapping] Shh!

Everybody "om"! Om!

all: Om!

[laughter]

[tranquil music]

- Now that we have chakras aligned,

we're going to go to poetry.

Do I have any volunteer to reading poems for me?

Want to volunteer? Come, come, come.

Come, come.

- "From our greenery, the old birds fly,

and chirp and whistle in the morning sun."

- So good. Everybody, very proud.

Say very, very proud. [applause]

[crashing] Ohhh...

[slowed down] Ohhh...

Ohhh...

Darn it! Darn it!

Always happen like this. Always.

Now look. Look.

Everything wet.

[dramatic music]

- [mouthing]

[bell rings] - I am cool, blue, cloud!

� �

[bell ringing]

Okay, stop!

- [sneezing] - Oh!

- Was that just me? Do you smell that?

[sniffing] [laughter]

A little bit of spray. Just a little.

all: Oh! [snoring]

narrator: When "The Substitute" returns.

- Everybody, very proud. Say very, very proud.

[crashing] Oh...

narrator: Lilly Singh is disguised

as a substitute teacher

who can't control her temper.

Will her students lose their cool?

- [mouthing]

[bell rings] - I am cool, blue cloud.

[laughter]

[ringing bell]

Cool, blue cloud.

[laughter] Everything okay?

- I think there's something in your shirt dripping.

[tense music]

- [speaking foreign language]

New shirt!

Do you know what make me feel better when I do this?

I'm cool, blue cloud! [laughter]

Cool, blue cloud!

When you upset, this makes you feel better, okay?

Look, you take like this. Cool, blue cloud!

Cool... Blue...

Cloud! [laughter]

- Oh, God! [bell rings]

[tranquil music]

- Today I'm not having good day, okay?

Cool, blue cloud. Send somebody else, okay?

I am cool, blue cloud.

[laughter]

- Cool, blue cloud!

- Those kids are so sweet and nice.

Oh, my God.

[bell rings]

Honestly, I am falling in love with the kids

at Wilson Middle School. - Oh, my gosh.

- They're so sweet and they're adorable.

- All right. - A new set of victims...

[evil laugh]

- Okay, there's Malaan. You'll love her.

And there's Nathan. Pay attention to him.

And Oscar, he is so sweet. He'll do anything.

- Let's do this! All right.

- Good luck! - Whoo!

[bell rings]

[sneezing]

narrator: For her last class, Lilly's nose goes nuts.

Will the students bring relief

and give her a vote of confidence?

- So my name is Mrs. Raganeff and I'm going to be

your substitute teacher for today,

and I'm very excited to be here with all of you.

Can you understand what I'm saying?

all: Yes! - You sure?

- It's very good. - It's very good?

You like my accent? Good.

Okay, because I think you have the accent.

- [imitating English accent] I don't have the accent--

- Oh, that's very good! That's very good.

All right, so we're going to learn today

a little bit about natural history.

Natural history is all about plants...

and... all: Animals?

- Very good. Plants and animals.

Very good.

All right, so I'm a big believer

of all animals have superpowers, innit?

You know, so like, a giraffe. What's a giraffe's superpower?

- It can stretch its neck anywhere?

- Okay, it can stretch its neck.

All animals have a very special superpower

and it is...

- You good? Everything okay?

- Are you okay?

[laughter]

- Moving necks is hard.

[sneezing] - Ooh!

That scared me. - Ah...

- Bless you!

- Ugh, God. Sorry about that.

Sorry about that!

- You dropped your tissue.

- I'll grab it later. Don't worry about it, love.

Thank you. [coughing]

Whoo!

Is that just me? You smell that?

[sniffing]

[tense music]

[sniffing] [laughter]

- [clears throat] No, I think it's actually...

- It's not me! [sniffs]

I'm okay, right?

- It's you!

[sneezing]

[laughter]

What plant is this?

Because I have a feeling this is what...

- Do you want us to move it?

[heaving] - Oh...

This is what it is.

This is what it is. It's this plant.

- Do you want us to move it? - Oh, wait.

Wait one second, let me just double check.

- No, don't keep smelling it! - No, because I think it's a--

- Oh!

[coughing] - Take it away!

- Take it outside!

- Be careful! That's a calathea plant.

I've always been very allergic. - Bad plant!

Why'd you do that? - Ugh...

Okay. [coughing]

See, now my feet are going to get a little irritated.

I feel it already.

Do you mind? I'm just going to really

quickly take my shoes off for one second.

Don't mind. - All right, don't do that.

- It's getting little bumps under my feet right now.

Does this not happen to you when you have allergies?

- No. - No.

- I just itch my face because it blows up.

- I always come very prepared

because I always have so many allergies.

[tense music]

- Oh, that's terrible.

- [grunts]

We're gonna-- we're gonna keep going here.

One second.

- Oh...

You shouldn't cover your mouth. It's a harmless thing.

It's just foot spray. Okay?

Would it be terrible if I asked you to do this for me?

- Oscar! [laughter]

- Would it be terrible? It's just a spray.

It's just a spray.

It's not going to hurt you, love.

Just a very little.

Very, very little. A little bit of spray.

A little bit of spray. Just a little.

[wincing]

� �

- That's it, that's it. Ah, good, that's it...

All right, one more. One more.

[class groaning]

[laughter] Thank you so much.

Actually, you know what, it's supposed to be for feet

but honestly, my tongue also gets a little bit itchy

and you can--look. [all screaming]

This is just normal.

Okay, listen.

I'm not feeling very well right now.

I just need ten seconds.

It's--it's going to pass in ten seconds.

[grunting]

[snoring]

- What's going on?

- She just had an allergic reaction.

- Are you okay? - [snorting]

Sorry... - Okay...

Okay, let's go to the nurse.

You know where the nurse is? - I'll find it.

Okay, I'm just gonna--

just in case take this to the nurse.

all: No, no, no!

- Okay, tell me what happened?

- So she just went around sniffing everybody.

- I don't need someone going around and sniffing me.

- Come on, everyone does that.

- So do you think we should hire her?

all: No!

[laughter]

[bell rings]

[P.A. system chiming]

- Attention, students, please report to the library

for a special assembly.

Please report to the library for a special assembly.

- Quickly! Quickly, quickly!

Good afternoon, Wilson Lions.

As you know, we use substitutes all the time.

But today I understand things may have got a little strange.

- Mm-hmm.

- Maybe we should get an explanation

about what was going on?

[exciting music]

� �

[excited screaming]

- Hey, surprise! It's me, Lilly Singh!

[screaming]

- Can you bring the young lady in, please?

[applause]

- I'm Lilly Singh and right now all of you are on

Nickelodeon's "The Substitute."

all: Yeah!

[chanting] Lilly!

- She's funny, she's smart, she's a little cuckoo

in the class but, like, overall--

Ah!

- Did you guys have fun? all: Yes!

- Yes? Your hair smells great

for the record. [laughter]

- Hey, so should I hire her? all: Yes!

- Oh! - This is probably the craziest

thing that has ever happened to me in my life.

- Hey, can we get a quick spray of chakra mist?

- No! [laughter]

- It's amazing because I always watch

Nickelodeon so much. It was awesome.

- I feel like we're missing something.

Wait, is it okay if I add something to this picture?

- Absolutely. - Okay, hold on.

I'm gonna add on behalf of myself and Nickelodeon,

a check for $25,000. [cheers and applause]

all: Whoo!

[chanting] Lilly!

- It's always really special when I get the opportunity

to see my fans off screen.

And I think they were genuinely excited

about the experience, which makes me feel even better.

all: Nickelodeon!

- � Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick-Nick-Nick-Nick �

- I'm so happy I chose this school

and that they got this moment

of give back because the students genuinely deserve it.

all: Yeah!

[shutter snapping]

[upbeat music]