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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:49,083 * CHAINS 2 00:00:49,117 --> 00:00:52,853 * MY BABY'S GOT ME LOCKED UP IN CHAINS * 3 00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:57,558 * AND THEY AIN'T THE KIND 4 00:00:57,591 --> 00:01:02,163 * THAT YOU CAN SEE 5 00:01:02,196 --> 00:01:02,763 * WHOA-HO 6 00:01:02,796 --> 00:01:05,666 * THESE CHAINS OF LOVE 7 00:01:05,699 --> 00:01:11,339 * GOT A HOLD ON ME, YEAH 8 00:01:11,372 --> 00:01:12,340 * CHAINS 9 00:01:12,373 --> 00:01:17,578 * WELL, I CAN'T BREAK AWAY FROM THESE CHAINS * 10 00:01:17,611 --> 00:01:21,682 * CAN'T RUN AROUND 11 00:01:21,715 --> 00:01:26,120 * 'CAUSE I'M NOT FREE 12 00:01:26,154 --> 00:01:26,720 * WHOA-HO 13 00:01:26,754 --> 00:01:29,590 * THESE CHAINS OF LOVE 14 00:01:29,623 --> 00:01:34,628 * WON'T LET ME BE, YEAH 15 00:01:34,662 --> 00:01:35,429 * AAAAH 16 00:01:35,463 --> 00:01:39,667 * NOW BELIEVE ME WHEN I TELL YOU * 17 00:01:39,700 --> 00:01:43,304 * I THINK YOU'RE FINE 18 00:01:43,337 --> 00:01:46,374 * I'D LIKE TO LOVE YOU 19 00:01:46,407 --> 00:01:51,345 * BUT, DARLING, I'M IMPRISONED BY THESE * 20 00:01:51,379 --> 00:01:52,246 All: * CHAINS 21 00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:57,218 * MY BABY'S GOT ME LOCKED UP IN CHAINS * 22 00:01:57,251 --> 00:02:01,622 * AND THEY AIN'T THE KIND 23 00:02:01,655 --> 00:02:05,626 * THAT YOU CAN SEE 24 00:02:05,659 --> 00:02:06,894 * WHOA-HO 25 00:02:06,927 --> 00:02:09,697 * THESE CHAINS OF LOVE 26 00:02:09,730 --> 00:02:14,402 * GOT A HOLD ON ME, YEAH 27 00:02:14,435 --> 00:02:16,337 * CHAINS... 28 00:02:20,874 --> 00:02:25,246 CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY LIONS GATE FILMS 29 00:02:29,817 --> 00:02:31,219 CALL ME SAM. 30 00:02:31,252 --> 00:02:32,453 I AM A WRITER OF LITERATURE. 31 00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:34,722 I STARTED WRITING THE DAY MY GRANDFATHER 32 00:02:34,755 --> 00:02:37,225 SENT MY MOM AND ME INTO EXILE, 33 00:02:37,258 --> 00:02:38,626 A DAY WHEN MOST HUMAN BEINGS 34 00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:40,494 WOULD WALLOW IN SELF PITY. 35 00:02:40,528 --> 00:02:43,631 I CHOSE THIS MOMENT TO HONOR MY CALLING. 36 00:02:43,664 --> 00:02:45,599 SO THIS IS MY STORY, 37 00:02:45,633 --> 00:02:47,401 AND UNLIKE OTHER WRITERS OF LITERATURE 38 00:02:47,435 --> 00:02:50,371 I WON'T SKIP THE GOOD PARTS. 39 00:02:53,774 --> 00:02:55,409 SAMUEL. 40 00:02:55,443 --> 00:02:59,713 DADDY, DON'T PULL THE PLANTATION MASTER ACT WITH SAM. 41 00:02:59,747 --> 00:03:00,714 HE'S INNOCENT. 42 00:03:00,748 --> 00:03:03,284 NOTHING YOU TOUCH IS INNOCENT. 43 00:03:03,317 --> 00:03:05,719 ONE MORE MISTAKE, 44 00:03:05,753 --> 00:03:09,390 AND THE BOY GOES TO THE CUSTER MILITARY ACADEMY. 45 00:03:09,423 --> 00:03:12,226 ARE THOSE IMPLICATIONS CLEAR? 46 00:03:12,260 --> 00:03:14,495 OH, YES, YOUR DADDYSHIP. 47 00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:19,700 SAM, COME. BRING THE CARDS. 48 00:03:24,004 --> 00:03:28,242 Sam: CASPAR CLAIMED WE WERE BEING EXILED FOR OUR OWN GOOD. 49 00:03:28,276 --> 00:03:29,310 WHAT A LOAD OF CRAP. 50 00:03:29,343 --> 00:03:32,012 THE TRUTH IS, HE WAS PLANNING TO RUN FOR GOVERNOR, 51 00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:33,681 AND THE THOUGHT OF LYDIA ON THE LOOSE 52 00:03:33,714 --> 00:03:36,016 SCARED THE WADDING OUT OF HIM. 53 00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:41,289 DO YOU KNOW WHY I'M SENDING YOU AND YOUR MOM TO WYOMING? 54 00:03:41,322 --> 00:03:44,525 'CAUSE LYDIA MESSED UP AGAIN? 55 00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:46,960 YOU KNOW, THERE COMES A TIME 56 00:03:46,994 --> 00:03:52,800 WHEN YOU HAVE TO SET ASIDE ALL CHILDISH THINGS. 57 00:03:52,833 --> 00:03:54,335 BUT-- 58 00:03:54,368 --> 00:03:56,704 DON'T BUT GRANDPA. 59 00:03:56,737 --> 00:04:00,441 GO AHEAD. THROW 'EM IN. 60 00:04:00,474 --> 00:04:03,411 Sam: I HAD A GOOD MIND TO GO TO WYOMING AND CROAK. 61 00:04:03,444 --> 00:04:05,546 THEN HE'D REALLY BE SORRY. 62 00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:11,652 GOOD BOY. GOOD BOY. 63 00:04:13,454 --> 00:04:15,456 SAM CALLAHAN LAY CLOSE TO DEATH. 64 00:04:15,489 --> 00:04:18,426 IN A CRUEL TWIST OF FATE, GIVING HIM COMFORT 65 00:04:18,459 --> 00:04:23,364 WAS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL NURSE HE HAD EVER SEEN. 66 00:04:30,504 --> 00:04:34,975 I'M SORRY. HE'S NOT GOING TO MAKE IT. 67 00:04:36,009 --> 00:04:38,479 SAM. I'M SORRY THAT I SHIPPED YOU AND YOUR MOM 68 00:04:38,512 --> 00:04:43,751 OUT INTO THE WILDERNESS WHEN YOU NEEDED TO BE HOME MOST OF ALL. 69 00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:48,088 COULD YOU FORGIVE ME BEFORE YOU DIE, SAM? 70 00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:50,691 Lydia: HOLD ON, SUGAR. 71 00:04:50,724 --> 00:04:53,394 I...CAN'T. 72 00:05:05,506 --> 00:05:08,442 SO WHAT DID YOU DO TO HACK CASPAR OFF SO MUCH? 73 00:05:08,476 --> 00:05:09,443 NOT A THING. 74 00:05:09,477 --> 00:05:13,113 NOT ONE IOTA OF MISCONDUCT. 75 00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:15,949 YOU TOLD ME ABOUT THE CUBAN 76 00:05:15,983 --> 00:05:18,085 AND THE STRIP SHOW ON THE SAILBOAT. 77 00:05:18,118 --> 00:05:19,086 NOW, IS THIS ONE SO BAD 78 00:05:19,119 --> 00:05:19,920 THAT YOU CAN'T TELL ME ABOUT IT? 79 00:05:19,953 --> 00:05:22,356 JUST THINK WHAT I'M LIABLE TO IMAGINE? 80 00:05:22,390 --> 00:05:25,559 I'M AS INNOCENT AS SNOW. 81 00:05:49,517 --> 00:05:53,020 Sam: WHEN HORACE GREELEY SAID, "GO WEST, YOUNG MAN," 82 00:05:53,053 --> 00:05:56,023 I DON'T THINK THIS IS WHAT HE HAD IN MIND. 83 00:05:56,056 --> 00:05:59,593 LYDIA DROVE 2,000 MILES WITH THE TOP DOWN. 84 00:05:59,627 --> 00:06:02,563 SHE HAD NO CONCEPT OF ALTITUDE OR TEMPERATURE 85 00:06:02,596 --> 00:06:04,832 AND COULDN'T READ A MAP, SO I NAVIGATED. 86 00:06:04,865 --> 00:06:08,502 WE'D MADE AN OATH THAT GRANDPA WOULD NEVER SEPARATE US. 87 00:06:08,536 --> 00:06:11,439 SO AS WE DROVE FURTHER AND FURTHER FROM HOME, 88 00:06:11,472 --> 00:06:13,474 IT FELT LIKE WE WERE ORPHANS TOGETHER, 89 00:06:13,507 --> 00:06:16,977 AND THE FIRST SOUTHERNERS EVER LOST IN WYOMING. 90 00:06:21,449 --> 00:06:22,115 First Boy: ...PLAY. 91 00:06:22,149 --> 00:06:23,584 Second Boy: COME ON, JIMMY. 92 00:06:23,617 --> 00:06:24,952 HEY, SISSY BOY. 93 00:06:24,985 --> 00:06:27,955 THIS ONE'S FOR YOU, HONEY. 94 00:06:28,822 --> 00:06:31,525 Third Boy: GET READY FOR THIS ONE. 95 00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:35,429 WHOA! 96 00:06:36,664 --> 00:06:37,698 Second Boy: HE'S NOT GOING TO GET IT. 97 00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:41,469 GO GET IT. GO GET IT. RUN! COME ON. 98 00:06:42,035 --> 00:06:43,203 First Girl: LOOK OUT! 99 00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:44,872 HEY, WATCH IT! 100 00:06:50,210 --> 00:06:53,213 SHARP MOVE, PINHEAD. 101 00:06:56,717 --> 00:06:58,118 P.A.: ATTENTION, STUDENTS AND FAULTY. 102 00:06:58,151 --> 00:07:00,821 THE PEP RALLY FOR FRIDAY'S FOOTBALL GAME 103 00:07:00,854 --> 00:07:02,155 WILL BE AFTER SECOND PERIOD. 104 00:07:02,189 --> 00:07:06,159 AT 2 P.M. TODAY, WE WILL CONDUCT OUR A-BOMB DRILL. 105 00:07:06,193 --> 00:07:08,962 REMEMBER, STUDENTS, DUCK AND COVER. 106 00:07:12,032 --> 00:07:13,133 HI. 107 00:07:13,166 --> 00:07:14,635 I'M HOWARD STEBBINS. 108 00:07:14,668 --> 00:07:16,637 SAM CALLAHAN. 109 00:07:18,539 --> 00:07:19,306 OK, GANG. 110 00:07:19,339 --> 00:07:23,110 OPEN HUCKLEBERRY FINN TO PAGE 47 111 00:07:23,143 --> 00:07:28,215 AND GO ON TO TWAIN'S BRILLIANT USE OF NEGRO DIALECT. 112 00:07:28,248 --> 00:07:29,717 BRILLIANT, MY EYE. 113 00:07:29,750 --> 00:07:30,984 NO ONE TALKS LIKE THAT. 114 00:07:31,018 --> 00:07:34,922 WELL, WHY DO YOU SUPPOSE TWAIN WROTE IN DIALECT 115 00:07:34,955 --> 00:07:36,156 IF NO ONE TALKS LIKE THAT? 116 00:07:36,189 --> 00:07:38,158 HE WANTED HUCK TO SEEM STUPID 117 00:07:38,191 --> 00:07:39,727 AND JIM EVEN STUPIDER. 118 00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:41,729 I'VE HEARD SOUTHERN ACCENTS ON TV, 119 00:07:41,762 --> 00:07:43,230 AND NO ONE TALKS LIKE THAT. 120 00:07:43,263 --> 00:07:48,468 WELL, HUCK IS FROM MISSOURI, WHICH ISN'T THE SOUTH. 121 00:07:49,937 --> 00:07:52,172 HEH, WHOOP-DI-DO. 122 00:07:55,609 --> 00:08:00,247 WE KNOW THAT MARK TWAIN WAS ONE OF THE GREAT PROPONENTS 123 00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:02,282 OF EQUAL RIGHTS FOR ALL. 124 00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:06,253 NOW, WE APPRECIATE THAT HERE IN THE EQUALITY STATE. 125 00:08:06,286 --> 00:08:09,957 WELL, YEAH, BUT TWAIN HATED JEWS. 126 00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:12,793 ARE YOU JEWISH? 127 00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:15,563 NO. 128 00:08:15,596 --> 00:08:18,098 WELL, HOW DO YOU KNOW HE HATED JEWS? 129 00:08:18,131 --> 00:08:19,900 WELL, I CAN READ. 130 00:08:19,933 --> 00:08:23,937 HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT WHEN YOU HATE NEGROES? 131 00:08:23,971 --> 00:08:26,073 I DON'T HATE NEGROES. 132 00:08:26,106 --> 00:08:27,140 BUT YOU'RE FROM THE SOUTH. 133 00:08:27,174 --> 00:08:30,277 EVERYONE IN THE SOUTH HATES NEGROES. 134 00:08:30,310 --> 00:08:31,945 YOU CAN'T DENY IT. 135 00:08:36,283 --> 00:08:39,319 WE CAN'T STAY HERE, MOM. 136 00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:43,290 OUR RELATIONSHIP IS BASED ON MUTUAL RESPECT, SAM. 137 00:08:43,323 --> 00:08:45,025 YOU MUST NEVER FLING IN MY FACE 138 00:08:45,058 --> 00:08:46,026 THE FACT THAT I'M A MOTHER. 139 00:08:46,059 --> 00:08:49,630 THESE KIDS ARE NAZIS...LYDIA. 140 00:08:49,663 --> 00:08:52,299 IT'S LIKE THE ENTIRE SCHOOL WAS SPAWNED 141 00:08:52,332 --> 00:08:54,101 BY THE MATING OF FIRST COUSINS. 142 00:08:54,134 --> 00:08:57,805 WELL, I BET THAT'S WHY NONE OF THE MEN HERE HAVE CHINS. 143 00:08:57,838 --> 00:09:00,908 EVEN THE TEACHER'S A FIRST DEGREE IGNORAMUS. 144 00:09:00,941 --> 00:09:03,777 THAT GOES. 145 00:09:03,811 --> 00:09:06,113 I WILL NOT HAVE THE DEAD PASSING FOR ART. 146 00:09:06,146 --> 00:09:09,983 ONLY CASPAR WOULD PICK A HOUSE THAT HAS THAT. 147 00:09:16,089 --> 00:09:20,127 I MADE A DECISION ABOUT THIS BANISHMENT DEAL. 148 00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:21,829 SHOULD I BE TOLD? 149 00:09:21,862 --> 00:09:27,367 THE WAY I CONDUCTED OUR LIFE BACK IN CAROLINA DIDN'T WORK. 150 00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:28,936 I'LL SAY. 151 00:09:28,969 --> 00:09:30,804 SO... 152 00:09:30,838 --> 00:09:33,273 I'M CALLING A TIME-OUT. 153 00:09:33,306 --> 00:09:37,377 NO MORE CONNECTIONS FOR A WHILE. 154 00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:39,680 AS OF THIS MOMENT, 155 00:09:39,713 --> 00:09:44,317 I'M DECLARING MYSELF AN EMOTIONAL CATATONIC. 156 00:09:46,253 --> 00:09:49,356 WELL, HOW'S A CATATONIC SUPPOSED TO RAISE A KID? 157 00:09:49,389 --> 00:09:53,193 WE'LL NEGOTIATE AN ARRANGEMENT. 158 00:09:54,394 --> 00:09:58,165 NOW STAND UP STRAIGHT. A GAL IS JUDGED BY HER POSTURE. 159 00:09:58,198 --> 00:10:00,233 WHY DO I HAVE TO GO? 160 00:10:00,267 --> 00:10:02,302 BECAUSE OUR NEW NEIGHBORS ARE SOUTHERN, 161 00:10:02,335 --> 00:10:03,737 AND WHAT WOULD THEY THINK IF WE DIDN'T 162 00:10:03,771 --> 00:10:06,206 GO OUT OF OUR WAY TO MAKE THEM FEEL AT HOME? 163 00:10:06,239 --> 00:10:08,141 BUT THE KID'S A SQUIRREL. 164 00:10:08,175 --> 00:10:13,747 GENTLEWOMEN DO NOT COMPARE PEOPLE TO ANIMALS, DEAR. 165 00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:25,025 WHAT? 166 00:10:25,058 --> 00:10:26,126 WELCOME WAGON. 167 00:10:26,159 --> 00:10:27,861 HI, I'M LAURABEL PIERCE, 168 00:10:27,895 --> 00:10:29,429 AND THIS IS MY DAUGHTER MAUREY, 169 00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:31,865 AND WE'D LIKE TO WELCOME YOU TO GROVONT, 170 00:10:31,899 --> 00:10:34,968 THE FRIENDLIEST LITTLE TOWN IN WYOMING. 171 00:10:35,002 --> 00:10:36,236 HOW QUAINT. 172 00:10:36,269 --> 00:10:39,172 LOOK, SAMMY. IT'S THE WELCOME WAGON. 173 00:10:39,206 --> 00:10:41,008 HI. 174 00:10:41,041 --> 00:10:43,276 NOW WHAT HAVE WE HERE? 175 00:10:43,310 --> 00:10:44,177 OH, THIS IS A SURVIVAL KIT, 176 00:10:44,211 --> 00:10:46,346 YOU KNOW, FOR MOVING INTO THE NEW HOUSE. 177 00:10:46,379 --> 00:10:47,347 THIS IS FOR YOU. 178 00:10:47,380 --> 00:10:49,182 CHICKEN POT PIE? 179 00:10:49,216 --> 00:10:51,284 YEAH, THE GOOD KIND WITH BOTTOM CRUST. 180 00:10:51,318 --> 00:10:53,186 MAUREY'S DAD CAN'T ABIDE POT PIES 181 00:10:53,220 --> 00:10:54,387 WITHOUT GOOD BOTTOM CRUST. 182 00:10:54,421 --> 00:10:59,760 "QUICK MEALS FOR THE HARRIED HOUSEWIFE." 183 00:10:59,793 --> 00:11:02,996 YES, AND EVERY RECIPE STARTS WITH A CAN 184 00:11:03,030 --> 00:11:05,165 OF CREAM OF MUSHROOM SOUP. 185 00:11:05,198 --> 00:11:08,435 WELL, FUCK ME SILLY. 186 00:11:10,237 --> 00:11:13,006 DO I LOOK LIKE A HOUSEWIFE TO YOU? 187 00:11:13,040 --> 00:11:14,374 NO. 188 00:11:14,407 --> 00:11:17,410 WELL, WE JUST WANTED YOU TO FEEL AT HOME 189 00:11:17,444 --> 00:11:18,979 IN GROVONT. 190 00:11:19,012 --> 00:11:20,848 OH, SAM AND I WON'T BE HERE LONG ENOUGH 191 00:11:20,881 --> 00:11:24,417 TO MINGLE WITH THE NATIVES. 192 00:11:33,093 --> 00:11:34,161 THERE SHE IS. 193 00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:34,928 UH, DOT! 194 00:11:34,962 --> 00:11:35,695 OH, KEEP YOUR PANTS ZIPPED, JACK. 195 00:11:35,729 --> 00:11:38,265 I'LL BE WITH YOU WHEN I'M WITH YOU. 196 00:11:45,806 --> 00:11:46,974 HER NAME IS DOT. 197 00:11:47,007 --> 00:11:49,009 WELL, SHE SHOULD SUE HER PARENTS. 198 00:11:49,042 --> 00:11:52,913 WHAT KIND OF WOMAN WOULD NAME A CHILD "DOT?" 199 00:11:54,314 --> 00:11:59,386 SO YOU'RE THE FOLKS RENTING DOC WARDELL'S PLACE. 200 00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:05,225 THE GUYS PAID ME $1.00 APIECE TO FIND OUT IF YOU'RE SINGLE. 201 00:12:05,258 --> 00:12:09,262 TELL THE GUYS I HAVE 5 HUSBANDS: 202 00:12:09,296 --> 00:12:13,033 EACH ONE RICH, MEAN, AND JEALOUS. 203 00:12:13,066 --> 00:12:15,535 I'LL BE ROTATING THEM THROUGH ON A WEEKLY BASIS. 204 00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:21,274 THAT LINE WILL BE ALL OVER THE VALLEY BY BREAKFAST. 205 00:12:21,308 --> 00:12:25,478 OH, JUST TELL 'EM I OWN A RIFLE. 206 00:12:28,849 --> 00:12:33,153 SO WHAT HAPPENED IN THE SEVENTH GRADE TODAY? 207 00:12:33,186 --> 00:12:34,487 YOU REALLY WANT TO HEAR? 208 00:12:34,521 --> 00:12:36,289 IF I DON'T WANT TO HEAR, CASPAR WILL SEND YOU 209 00:12:36,323 --> 00:12:38,425 TO THE CUSTER MILITARY ACADEMY, 210 00:12:38,458 --> 00:12:39,759 AND WE WOULDN'T WANT THAT, WOULD WE? 211 00:12:39,793 --> 00:12:45,165 UH, IN SOCIAL STUDIES MISS SHEETS TAUGHT US HOW TO WRITE A CHECK. 212 00:12:45,198 --> 00:12:48,301 WHY, YOU'VE BEEN WRITING CHECKS SINCE YOU WERE 6. 213 00:12:48,335 --> 00:12:49,336 YEAH. 214 00:12:49,369 --> 00:12:54,274 AND, UH, I THINK I'M IN LOVE WITH MAUREY PIERCE. 215 00:12:54,307 --> 00:12:56,309 THAT'S NICE. 216 00:12:56,343 --> 00:12:58,345 HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU'RE IN LOVE? 217 00:12:58,378 --> 00:13:00,814 'CAUSE I CAN'T STAND HER. 218 00:13:00,848 --> 00:13:04,051 WELL, THAT'S ALWAYS A GOOD SIGN. 219 00:13:04,084 --> 00:13:05,819 SHE HATES MY GUTS. 220 00:13:05,853 --> 00:13:06,854 CALLED ME PINHEAD. 221 00:13:06,887 --> 00:13:09,857 SOUNDS LIKE LOVE TO ME. 222 00:13:09,890 --> 00:13:10,657 YOU BETTER EAT THAT FAST. 223 00:13:10,690 --> 00:13:14,794 THAT GRAVY'S TURNING TO AXLE GREASE. 224 00:13:17,965 --> 00:13:20,367 YOU KNOW WHY I LIKE YOU MORE THAN THE OTHER BOYS? 225 00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:25,538 'CAUSE WE'RE THE ONLY 2 KIDS IN SEVENTH GRADE WHO CAN READ? 226 00:13:25,572 --> 00:13:27,374 NO, SILLY. 227 00:13:27,407 --> 00:13:30,878 BECAUSE YOU'RE SO HANDSOME. 228 00:13:39,452 --> 00:13:41,154 [RECORD SCRATCHES THEN STARTS PLAYING] 229 00:13:41,188 --> 00:13:43,590 * AFTER YOU'VE GONE 230 00:13:43,623 --> 00:13:47,294 * AND LEFT ME CRYIN' 231 00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:50,463 * AFTER YOU'VE GONE 232 00:13:50,497 --> 00:13:53,266 * THERE'S NO DENYIN' 233 00:13:53,300 --> 00:13:55,869 * YOU'LL FEEL BLUE 234 00:13:55,903 --> 00:13:59,472 * YOU'LL FEEL SAD 235 00:13:59,506 --> 00:14:03,643 * YOU'LL MISS THE SWEETEST GAL * 236 00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:07,047 * YOU EVER HAD 237 00:14:08,448 --> 00:14:10,517 WHAH! 238 00:14:24,497 --> 00:14:27,667 YOU'RE LICKING THE MIRROR. 239 00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:30,370 I'M MAKING CONTACT. 240 00:14:30,403 --> 00:14:32,305 WITH WHO? 241 00:14:32,339 --> 00:14:34,441 MYSELF. 242 00:14:34,474 --> 00:14:37,377 SAM... 243 00:14:37,410 --> 00:14:39,947 YOU EVER HAD A STIFFY? 244 00:14:39,980 --> 00:14:41,949 MOM. 245 00:14:41,982 --> 00:14:45,318 I JUST REALIZED THAT-- 246 00:14:45,352 --> 00:14:49,189 IT'S BEEN YEARS SINCE I SAW YOUR LITTLE WEENIE, 247 00:14:49,222 --> 00:14:53,961 AND IT WAS SO CUTE WHEN YOU WERE A BABY. 248 00:14:53,994 --> 00:14:57,697 WE HAD THIS BLACK SPECKLED BASIN 249 00:14:57,730 --> 00:14:59,132 I USED TO WASH YOU IN, 250 00:14:59,166 --> 00:15:03,303 AND YOU WOULD ALWAYS PEE STRAIGHT UP. 251 00:15:03,336 --> 00:15:04,204 MOM... 252 00:15:04,237 --> 00:15:06,239 I HATE WHEN YOU TALK ABOUT CUTE NAKED STUFF 253 00:15:06,273 --> 00:15:08,041 I DID WHEN I WAS LITTLE. 254 00:15:08,075 --> 00:15:10,277 HMPH. 255 00:15:17,050 --> 00:15:19,719 UH, MOM, MOM, MOM. 256 00:15:19,752 --> 00:15:21,421 SSSS. 257 00:15:34,301 --> 00:15:38,338 I DIDN'T LET MYSELF GO. 258 00:15:45,312 --> 00:15:49,049 YOU KNOW WHEN GULLIVER TRAVELED TO THE LAND OF YAHOOS, 259 00:15:49,082 --> 00:15:51,318 HE MUST HAVE COME HERE. 260 00:15:51,351 --> 00:15:53,686 I THINK HE JUST INSULTED YOU, LANELL. 261 00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:54,721 I DON'T CARE. 262 00:15:54,754 --> 00:15:59,726 WHAT KIND OF SHOW-OFF STUDIES ON THE BUS ANYWAYS? 263 00:15:59,759 --> 00:16:01,361 THIS ISN'T A SCHOOLBOOK. 264 00:16:01,394 --> 00:16:03,263 THIS IS LITERATURE. 265 00:16:03,296 --> 00:16:07,300 Twins: LITTER-TOUR, LITTER-TOUR. 266 00:16:07,334 --> 00:16:08,401 WHAT LITERATURE? 267 00:16:08,435 --> 00:16:11,504 UH, "IT'S A CLASSIC COMING OF AGE STORY 268 00:16:11,538 --> 00:16:14,774 "PORTRAYING ONE WOMAN'S POIGNANT EXPERIENCES: 269 00:16:14,807 --> 00:16:17,244 LIFE, LOVE, AND SEX." 270 00:16:17,277 --> 00:16:19,412 WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT SEX? 271 00:16:19,446 --> 00:16:20,380 WELL, AFTER I FINISH THIS BOOK 272 00:16:20,413 --> 00:16:23,216 I'LL KNOW A LOT MORE THAN YOU. 273 00:16:23,550 --> 00:16:27,387 NOT THAT KNOWING MORE ABOUT SEX THAN YOU DO IS A CHALLENGE. 274 00:16:45,072 --> 00:16:47,174 AMEN. 275 00:16:47,207 --> 00:16:48,541 HAVE YOU BEEN SAVED? 276 00:16:48,575 --> 00:16:50,177 FROM WHAT? 277 00:16:50,210 --> 00:16:52,679 YOU'LL GO TO HELL UNLESS YOU FINISH EVERY BIT OF THAT. 278 00:16:52,712 --> 00:16:56,716 IF A PERSON GOES TO HELL FOR NOT FINISHING A TUNA CROQUETTE, 279 00:16:56,749 --> 00:17:01,188 I THINK I LOST MY SALVATION A LONG TIME AGO. 280 00:17:04,391 --> 00:17:05,692 YOU COMING? 281 00:17:05,725 --> 00:17:08,461 YEAH. SURE. 282 00:17:17,370 --> 00:17:18,338 HOW'S IT GOING, SAM? 283 00:17:18,371 --> 00:17:20,273 COULDN'T BE BETTER, SIR. 284 00:17:20,307 --> 00:17:21,174 I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'VE HEARD, 285 00:17:21,208 --> 00:17:23,343 BUT WE'RE MIGHTY PROUD OF OUR FOOTBALL TEAM 286 00:17:23,376 --> 00:17:24,711 HERE AT GROVONT HIGH. 287 00:17:24,744 --> 00:17:26,513 HOW'D YOU LIKE TO SIGN UP? 288 00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:29,182 WELL, I'D LIKE TO, SIR, BUT MY MOM NEEDS ME AT HOME. 289 00:17:29,216 --> 00:17:33,153 SHE HASN'T ADJUSTED TO THE LACK OF HUMIDITY YET. 290 00:17:33,186 --> 00:17:35,422 SEE, THE THING IS, IT TAKES 22 PLAYERS 291 00:17:35,455 --> 00:17:37,224 TO HOLD A PRACTICE, AND I'VE ONLY GOT 21, 292 00:17:37,257 --> 00:17:40,260 AND HALF OF THEM STILL SUCK THEIR MAMA'S TIT AT NIGHT. 293 00:17:40,293 --> 00:17:43,263 WELL, I NO LONGER NURSE, SIR. 294 00:17:43,296 --> 00:17:44,797 LET ME EXPLAIN TO YOU 295 00:17:44,831 --> 00:17:48,268 THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN AN "A" AND AN "F" IN ENGLISH. 296 00:17:48,301 --> 00:17:51,471 ME COMING OUT FOR FOOTBALL? 297 00:17:51,504 --> 00:17:55,575 NOW, THAT'S THE OLD SCHOOL SPIRIT. 298 00:17:57,544 --> 00:17:59,446 JUMP TO THE LEFT. JUMP TO THE RIGHT. 299 00:17:59,479 --> 00:18:02,382 SIT DOWN. STAND UP. FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT. 300 00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:03,250 YEAH, WHOO! 301 00:18:03,283 --> 00:18:04,083 ALL RIGHT, BOYS. LET'S HAVE A LITTLE GAME 302 00:18:04,117 --> 00:18:06,386 OF SMEAR THE QUEER WITH THE BALL, HERE. 303 00:18:06,419 --> 00:18:09,422 HEY, SAMMY. WHY DON'T YOU TELL US ALL 304 00:18:09,456 --> 00:18:10,757 HOW YOUR MAMA'S HOOTERS FEEL? 305 00:18:10,790 --> 00:18:13,426 ABOUT THE SAME AS YOUR SISTER'S. 306 00:18:13,460 --> 00:18:16,163 I AIN'T GOT A SISTER, STUPID. 307 00:18:16,196 --> 00:18:18,398 7-43, HUT, HUT. 308 00:18:18,431 --> 00:18:20,267 All: UHH! 309 00:18:22,735 --> 00:18:25,638 Player: DOTHAN SURE GOT HIM GOOD. 310 00:18:25,672 --> 00:18:26,806 Dothan: YOU THINK HE'S HURT? 311 00:18:26,839 --> 00:18:31,244 Stebbins: NO, HE'S JUST PLAYING POSSUM. 312 00:18:32,245 --> 00:18:35,382 SISSY BOY. COME ON, GET UP. 313 00:18:36,149 --> 00:18:37,817 Stebbins: COME ON, SAM. GET UP. 314 00:18:37,850 --> 00:18:40,187 GET UP! 315 00:18:46,459 --> 00:18:48,695 TV: COVERAGE CONTINUES ON THE ASSASSINATION 316 00:18:48,728 --> 00:18:51,198 OF PRESIDENT JOHN F. KENNEDY. 317 00:18:51,231 --> 00:18:54,267 AT 12:35 CENTRAL STANDARD TIME, 318 00:18:54,301 --> 00:18:55,268 PRESIDENT KENNEDY WAS SHOT 319 00:18:55,302 --> 00:18:58,738 AS HIS MOTORCADE PASSED THROUGH DOWNTOWN DALLAS. 320 00:18:58,771 --> 00:19:00,673 GOVERNOR CONNALLY WAS ALSO SHOT. 321 00:19:00,707 --> 00:19:02,642 THOUSANDS OF MOURNERS HAVE GATHERED 322 00:19:02,675 --> 00:19:04,411 AT PARKLAND MEMORIAL HOSPITAL 323 00:19:04,444 --> 00:19:06,679 TO MOURN THE PASSING OF OUR-- 324 00:19:26,866 --> 00:19:28,901 PA-POP, POP. 325 00:19:38,345 --> 00:19:40,880 THEY KILLED PRESIDENT KENNEDY. 326 00:19:40,913 --> 00:19:42,582 ARE YOU SURE? 327 00:19:42,615 --> 00:19:45,352 IT'S ON THE NEWS. 328 00:19:45,385 --> 00:19:47,454 WELL, WHO KILLED HIM? 329 00:19:47,487 --> 00:19:50,257 TEXANS. 330 00:19:58,030 --> 00:20:00,267 Y'ALL CRYIN' OVER THE NIGGER LOVER? 331 00:20:00,300 --> 00:20:01,968 SHUT UP, DOTHAN. 332 00:20:02,001 --> 00:20:03,836 HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT ALL THE KIDS 333 00:20:03,870 --> 00:20:07,340 ARE GETTING FOR CHRISTMAS THIS YEAR? 334 00:20:07,374 --> 00:20:09,876 A JACK-IN-THE-BOX. 335 00:20:13,313 --> 00:20:15,382 I NEVER KNEW YOU CARED. 336 00:20:15,415 --> 00:20:16,383 OW. 337 00:20:18,050 --> 00:20:21,688 WHAT ARE YOU DOING, BOY! HUH, HUH? 338 00:20:21,721 --> 00:20:24,457 TRYING TO TAKE UP FOR YOUR GIRLFRIEND?! 339 00:20:24,491 --> 00:20:25,292 HUH?! 340 00:20:25,325 --> 00:20:27,527 WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM, BOY?! 341 00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:29,262 Maurey: STOP IT. 342 00:20:29,296 --> 00:20:30,863 HELL, THEY STARTED IT, COACH. 343 00:20:30,897 --> 00:20:31,864 Stebbins: LAY OFF. 344 00:20:31,898 --> 00:20:34,367 THAT LITTLE BASTARD'S LIBEL TO HURT SOMEBODY. 345 00:20:34,401 --> 00:20:36,936 THE PRESIDENT IS DEAD, AND HE WAS CELEBRATING. 346 00:20:36,969 --> 00:20:38,871 Girl: LET'S GET OUT OF HERE. 347 00:20:52,452 --> 00:20:54,987 Maurey: LET'S GET OUT OF HERE. 348 00:20:57,557 --> 00:20:59,759 Sam: WHERE? 349 00:21:00,393 --> 00:21:02,962 WE CAN WATCH THE NEWS AT MY HOUSE. 350 00:21:02,995 --> 00:21:05,765 YOU THINK THEY'LL MISS US? 351 00:21:05,798 --> 00:21:08,435 ALL THE RULES ARE OFF TODAY, SAM. 352 00:21:08,468 --> 00:21:12,271 NOTHING WE DO MATTERS. 353 00:21:12,972 --> 00:21:15,875 Sam: I GUESS IT ALL DEPENDS ON YOUR PERSPECTIVE. 354 00:21:15,908 --> 00:21:17,377 AS THE REST OF THE COUNTRY 355 00:21:17,410 --> 00:21:18,645 WAS MOURNING THEIR GREAT LOSS, 356 00:21:18,678 --> 00:21:22,882 THINGS WERE ACTUALLY STARTING TO LOOK UP FOR ME. 357 00:21:23,483 --> 00:21:24,384 WHAT DO YOU BET 358 00:21:24,417 --> 00:21:25,718 MOM WILL HAVE HEARD ABOUT THE ASSASSINATION, 359 00:21:25,752 --> 00:21:27,554 BUT IT'S HAD NO EFFECT ON HER AT ALL? 360 00:21:27,587 --> 00:21:31,090 SHE'LL BE BAKING COOKIES AND WAXING THE KITCHEN FLOOR. 361 00:21:31,123 --> 00:21:35,395 MY MOM'S NEVER BAKED A COOKIE IN HER LIFE. 362 00:21:35,428 --> 00:21:37,697 COME ON. 363 00:21:40,032 --> 00:21:41,000 OH, YOU'RE HOME EARLY. 364 00:21:41,033 --> 00:21:44,671 THEY LET US OUT ON ACCOUNT OF THE ASSASSINATION. 365 00:21:45,738 --> 00:21:48,875 ISN'T IT A SHAME ABOUT MR. KENNEDY? 366 00:21:48,908 --> 00:21:51,444 I WONDER IF THEY'LL LET PETEY OUT EARLY, TOO, 367 00:21:51,478 --> 00:21:52,178 THIS AFTERNOON? 368 00:21:52,211 --> 00:21:53,880 WELL, I'LL JUST FINISH THESE UP, 369 00:21:53,913 --> 00:21:55,114 AND THEN I'LL MAKE US SOME HOT COCOA. 370 00:21:55,147 --> 00:21:58,117 THIS ISN'T A TIME FOR HOT COCOA, MOM. 371 00:21:58,150 --> 00:22:01,554 IT'S ALWAYS A TIME FOR COCOA. 372 00:22:05,992 --> 00:22:11,063 THE WHOLE WORLD'S GONE STRAIGHT TO HELL IN A HANDBASKET. 373 00:22:12,399 --> 00:22:13,199 I HAD TO COME DOWN HERE 374 00:22:13,232 --> 00:22:15,502 BECAUSE MY TELEVISION IS OUT OF ORDER. 375 00:22:15,535 --> 00:22:17,704 WHAT ABOUT YOU? 376 00:22:17,737 --> 00:22:18,871 I DON'T HAVE A TV. 377 00:22:18,905 --> 00:22:21,808 OH, IT'S BEEN YEARS SINCE I MET ANYONE 378 00:22:21,841 --> 00:22:23,410 WHO DIDN'T OWN A TELEVISION. 379 00:22:23,443 --> 00:22:26,345 YOU MUST NOT MEET MANY INDIANS. 380 00:22:28,180 --> 00:22:29,849 YOU'RE AN INDIAN? 381 00:22:31,718 --> 00:22:33,352 BLACKFEET. 382 00:22:34,787 --> 00:22:38,591 MY DADDY CAN'T STAND INDIANS. 383 00:22:40,493 --> 00:22:41,761 Announcer: OUR COUNTRY CONTINUES TO MOURN... 384 00:22:41,794 --> 00:22:43,396 Maurey: I WISH MY DAD WAS HERE. 385 00:22:43,430 --> 00:22:44,464 Sam: WHERE IS HE? 386 00:22:44,497 --> 00:22:46,399 WE HAVE A HORSE RANCH 10 MILES UP IN THE MOUNTAINS, 387 00:22:46,433 --> 00:22:47,534 AND HE HAS TO FEED EVERY DAY 388 00:22:47,567 --> 00:22:50,102 SO HE STAYS OUT THERE MOST OF THE WINTER. 389 00:22:50,136 --> 00:22:52,739 WHAT'S YOUR DAD DO? 390 00:22:52,772 --> 00:22:54,874 I DON'T HAVE A FATHER. 391 00:22:57,444 --> 00:22:58,978 DID HE DIE? 392 00:22:59,011 --> 00:23:00,980 LYDIA WON'T TELL ME ANYTHING ABOUT HIM. 393 00:23:01,013 --> 00:23:03,115 WHEN SHE'S DRUNK SHE CLAIMS VIRGIN BIRTH, 394 00:23:03,149 --> 00:23:05,084 LIKE MARY AND JESUS. 395 00:23:05,117 --> 00:23:07,487 I'D LIKE TO SEE MY MOM DRUNK. 396 00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:10,957 IT'S NOT THAT NEAT. 397 00:23:11,691 --> 00:23:12,425 SHE HAS THESE PICTURES 398 00:23:12,459 --> 00:23:14,594 OF 5 GUYS IN OLD FOOTBALL UNIFORMS 399 00:23:14,627 --> 00:23:15,962 IN HER PANTY BOX. 400 00:23:15,995 --> 00:23:16,896 HER PANTY BOX? 401 00:23:16,929 --> 00:23:18,598 I KIND OF FIGURE ONE OF THEM MIGHT BE MY DAD. 402 00:23:18,631 --> 00:23:23,536 WHAT WERE YOU DOING IN YOUR MOTHER'S PANTY BOX? 403 00:23:24,471 --> 00:23:26,473 ONE OF THE GUYS IS A NEGRO. 404 00:23:26,506 --> 00:23:29,742 MOM! I'M HOME! 405 00:23:33,179 --> 00:23:35,114 HEY! WE'RE WATCHING THAT! 406 00:23:35,147 --> 00:23:37,750 THIS STINKS. 407 00:23:37,784 --> 00:23:39,151 MOM! 408 00:23:39,185 --> 00:23:42,188 MAUREY WON'T LET ME WATCH ROCKY. 409 00:23:42,221 --> 00:23:43,590 YOU KNOW HE WATCHES ROCKY 410 00:23:43,623 --> 00:23:44,256 EVERY AFTERNOON. 411 00:23:44,290 --> 00:23:45,658 WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU? 412 00:23:45,692 --> 00:23:47,727 LOOK, BRAT. 413 00:23:50,497 --> 00:23:52,865 THE PRESIDENT OF OUR COUNTRY IS DEAD. 414 00:23:52,899 --> 00:23:54,133 SOME THINGS ARE MORE IMPORTANT 415 00:23:54,166 --> 00:23:58,137 THAN ROCKY THE FLYING SQUIRREL! 416 00:23:58,170 --> 00:24:00,139 DADDY! 417 00:24:00,172 --> 00:24:01,474 HEY. 418 00:24:01,508 --> 00:24:04,210 HOW'S MY FAVORITE GIRL? 419 00:24:13,285 --> 00:24:15,254 UH...HI. 420 00:24:15,287 --> 00:24:16,923 HI. 421 00:24:40,947 --> 00:24:43,816 LYDIA, THERE'S AN INDIAN IN OUR KITCHEN. 422 00:24:43,850 --> 00:24:45,885 OH, THAT'S HANK. 423 00:24:45,918 --> 00:24:48,054 HE'S BLACKFOOT-- OR FEET, 424 00:24:48,087 --> 00:24:49,822 I GET IT MIXED UP. 425 00:24:49,856 --> 00:24:52,258 HANK KNOWS LOADS OF NIFTY STUFF 426 00:24:52,291 --> 00:24:53,092 ABOUT THE FOREST. 427 00:24:53,125 --> 00:24:55,061 YOU WENT INTO THE FOREST? 428 00:24:55,094 --> 00:24:57,263 OH, IT WAS A HOOT, SAM. 429 00:24:57,296 --> 00:24:59,065 I TRIED SOMETHING NEW. 430 00:24:59,098 --> 00:25:00,066 HOW ABOUT THAT? 431 00:25:00,099 --> 00:25:01,300 HOW ABOUT THAT. 432 00:25:01,333 --> 00:25:02,168 WELL, YOU DIDN'T EXPECT ME 433 00:25:02,201 --> 00:25:05,905 TO STAY ON THIS COUCH FOREVER, DID YOU? 434 00:25:05,938 --> 00:25:09,141 SO WHAT'S HANK DOING IN OUR KITCHEN? 435 00:25:09,175 --> 00:25:10,276 HE'S FIXING SUPPER. 436 00:25:10,309 --> 00:25:14,213 SOME STAPLE HE SAID GOT HIS TRIBE THROUGH HARD WINTERS. 437 00:25:14,246 --> 00:25:17,249 GOD, CASPAR'S GONNA PASS A BRICK. 438 00:25:17,283 --> 00:25:19,886 OH, ISN'T IT WONDERFUL? 439 00:25:19,919 --> 00:25:20,720 HANK, HONEY, 440 00:25:20,753 --> 00:25:23,990 WHAT'S THAT INDIAN THING YOU'RE MAKING? 441 00:25:24,023 --> 00:25:26,192 MACARONI AND CHEESE. 442 00:25:37,169 --> 00:25:38,805 AAH! 443 00:25:51,651 --> 00:25:53,185 WELCOME WAGON. 444 00:26:17,409 --> 00:26:19,311 EWW! 445 00:26:22,114 --> 00:26:23,916 JEEZ. 446 00:26:23,950 --> 00:26:25,217 YUCK. 447 00:26:33,793 --> 00:26:35,695 EXPLAIN THIS. 448 00:26:35,728 --> 00:26:36,663 SAMMY? 449 00:26:36,696 --> 00:26:38,898 LYDIA, I THINK THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME. 450 00:26:38,931 --> 00:26:40,332 I MUST BE SICK OR SOMETHING. 451 00:26:40,366 --> 00:26:43,202 YOU BLEW YOUR NOSE IN YOUR SOCK? 452 00:26:43,235 --> 00:26:47,974 THIS DIDN'T COME FROM MY NOSE. 453 00:26:54,446 --> 00:26:55,247 YOU MASTURBATED? 454 00:26:55,281 --> 00:26:58,651 I WOKE UP WITH THIS STUFF ALL OVER ME. 455 00:27:00,820 --> 00:27:03,923 WERE YOU DREAMING RIGHT BEFORE YOU WOKE UP? 456 00:27:09,261 --> 00:27:12,298 WAS THERE A GIRL IN YOUR DREAM? 457 00:27:12,331 --> 00:27:15,334 DID YOU RECOGNIZE HER? 458 00:27:15,367 --> 00:27:18,738 SHE KISSED ME, AND I FELT FUNNY. 459 00:27:21,373 --> 00:27:24,310 YOU HAD A WET DREAM, HONEY BUNNY. 460 00:27:24,343 --> 00:27:27,980 BOYS HAVE 'EM ALL THE TIME. 461 00:27:29,215 --> 00:27:32,151 WELL, DO SOMETHING WITH IT. 462 00:27:37,890 --> 00:27:38,624 YOU KNOW, THINGS LIKE THIS 463 00:27:38,657 --> 00:27:41,160 DON'T HAPPEN TO BOYS WITH FATHERS. 464 00:27:41,193 --> 00:27:42,895 SO CRUCIFY ME. 465 00:27:42,929 --> 00:27:45,264 EVERY KID IN WYOMING PROBABLY KNOWS WHAT A WET DREAM IS, 466 00:27:45,297 --> 00:27:46,733 AND THEY'RE LAUGHING AT ME RIGHT NOW, 467 00:27:46,766 --> 00:27:48,300 CALLING ME A SQUIRREL. 468 00:27:51,070 --> 00:27:52,471 POOR SAMMY. 469 00:27:52,504 --> 00:27:56,275 YOU JUST MOVED A STEP CLOSER TO BEING A GROWN-UP. 470 00:27:58,310 --> 00:28:01,113 Sam: I COULDN'T WAIT TO TELL MAUREY WHAT I'D LEARNED. 471 00:28:01,147 --> 00:28:03,783 I EXPLAINED THE WHOLE PROCESS TO HER, 472 00:28:03,816 --> 00:28:05,351 EXCEPT THE PART WHERE HER MOM 473 00:28:05,384 --> 00:28:07,353 TRIGGERED THE MESS ON MY BELLY. 474 00:28:07,386 --> 00:28:09,221 HOW MUCH GOO CAME OUT? 475 00:28:09,255 --> 00:28:11,123 A CUP 476 00:28:11,157 --> 00:28:12,291 NOT A QUART. 477 00:28:12,324 --> 00:28:13,860 HOW MUCH, THEN? 478 00:28:13,893 --> 00:28:16,162 WELL, IT WAS ALL SPREAD OUT. 479 00:28:16,195 --> 00:28:18,064 ABOUT A THIRD-CUP. 480 00:28:18,097 --> 00:28:20,833 I'LL LOSE MY VIRGINITY SOME DAY, AND WHEN I DO, 481 00:28:20,867 --> 00:28:22,368 I DON'T WANT TO COME OFF IGNORANT. 482 00:28:22,401 --> 00:28:26,472 I WANT TO KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON EVERY SECOND. 483 00:28:32,845 --> 00:28:33,579 DON'T YOU KIDS KNOW 484 00:28:33,612 --> 00:28:35,815 THAT COFFEE WILL STUNT YOUR GROWTH? 485 00:28:35,848 --> 00:28:39,151 DOT, DO YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND HAVE SEX? 486 00:28:39,185 --> 00:28:40,820 WHY, MAUREY PIERCE, 487 00:28:40,853 --> 00:28:42,789 I SHOULD WASH YOUR MOUTH OUT WITH SOAP. 488 00:28:42,822 --> 00:28:44,390 I DIDN'T SAY A DIRTY WORD. 489 00:28:44,423 --> 00:28:45,758 YOU DID SO. 490 00:28:45,792 --> 00:28:47,026 SEX IS A DIRTY WORD? 491 00:28:47,059 --> 00:28:50,763 WE DON'T TALK ABOUT THAT WORD 492 00:28:50,797 --> 00:28:53,332 IN MIXED-GENDER COMPANY. 493 00:28:55,267 --> 00:28:57,069 I'LL BE OUTSIDE. 494 00:29:04,310 --> 00:29:07,313 WHILE MAUREY WAS GETTING THE LOW-DOWN FROM DOT, 495 00:29:07,346 --> 00:29:09,849 I TURNED TO MY DREAM GIRL. 496 00:29:09,882 --> 00:29:11,417 I HAD SO MANY QUESTIONS. 497 00:29:11,450 --> 00:29:14,020 I NEEDED SOMEONE I COULD TALK TO, 498 00:29:14,053 --> 00:29:15,321 SOMEONE WHO WOULD BE WILLING 499 00:29:15,354 --> 00:29:17,523 TO EXPLORE THE SECRETS OF LOVE. 500 00:29:17,556 --> 00:29:21,060 I NEEDED A PROFESSIONAL. 501 00:29:21,994 --> 00:29:24,831 MY MOM WON'T BE HOME FOR ANOTHER 20 MINUTES. 502 00:29:24,864 --> 00:29:27,299 DO YOU WANT TO DO ME AGAIN? 503 00:29:27,333 --> 00:29:28,334 I DON'T KNOW. 504 00:29:28,367 --> 00:29:30,136 THAT'LL BE, WHAT, 5 TIMES 505 00:29:30,169 --> 00:29:31,470 SINCE SCHOOL LET OUT THIS AFTERNOON? 506 00:29:31,503 --> 00:29:36,876 SAM, IT'S NOT ROMANTIC TO KEEP SCORE. 507 00:29:47,086 --> 00:29:48,087 SO WHAT'D SHE SAY? 508 00:29:48,120 --> 00:29:50,389 SHE SAID SEX IS A WONDERFUL AND SPECIAL EXPERIENCE 509 00:29:50,422 --> 00:29:54,326 BUT CAN ONLY BE DONE RIGHT WHEN 2 PEOPLE ARE IN LOVE. 510 00:29:54,360 --> 00:29:57,796 GROWN-UPS ARE SO FULL OF BULL. 511 00:30:11,477 --> 00:30:14,580 * I SEEN YOU HALF THE NIGHT * 512 00:30:14,613 --> 00:30:18,851 Man: HEY, DELORES, PUT IT IN THE CORNER POCKET. 513 00:30:18,885 --> 00:30:20,352 GERONIMO! 514 00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:23,289 Delores: WHOO! YIPPEE! 515 00:30:23,322 --> 00:30:24,090 Man: SHE DID IT! 516 00:30:24,123 --> 00:30:25,958 THAT MEANS I GET TO GO AGAIN, RIGHT? 517 00:30:25,992 --> 00:30:29,295 DADDY WANTS TO RUN FOR GOVERNOR OR SOMETHING 518 00:30:29,328 --> 00:30:32,865 AND HE THINKS HAVIN' AN ILLEGITIMATE GRANDSON 519 00:30:32,899 --> 00:30:35,501 UNDERFOOT WOULD CAUSE EMBARRASSMENT. 520 00:30:37,469 --> 00:30:38,270 THAT'S WHY SAM AND I 521 00:30:38,304 --> 00:30:41,240 HAVE BEEN BANISHED TO THE HINTERLANDS. 522 00:30:41,273 --> 00:30:43,109 I WAS GIVEN A CHOICE 523 00:30:43,142 --> 00:30:46,378 BETWEEN SAM GOES OR WE BOTH GO. 524 00:30:46,412 --> 00:30:51,583 WE GOT POLITICIANS IN MY FAMILY, TOO. 525 00:30:51,617 --> 00:30:54,620 THEY'RE WORSE THAN COWDOGS. 526 00:31:06,298 --> 00:31:10,970 NOW, THIS DOESN'T MEAN THAT WE'RE GOIN' STEADY. 527 00:31:11,003 --> 00:31:11,637 YEAH. 528 00:31:11,670 --> 00:31:14,240 I MEAN, WE'RE NOT EVEN DATIN'. 529 00:31:17,176 --> 00:31:20,179 YOU GOT THAT? 530 00:31:20,212 --> 00:31:21,914 THIS IS STRICTLY-- 531 00:31:21,948 --> 00:31:25,317 STRICTLY A ONE-NIGHT STAND. 532 00:31:31,390 --> 00:31:33,159 NO COMMITMENTS. 533 00:31:33,192 --> 00:31:37,563 I DON'T WANT TO FEEL. 534 00:31:37,596 --> 00:31:39,898 GOT THAT? 535 00:32:46,132 --> 00:32:46,932 HELLO. 536 00:32:46,965 --> 00:32:49,235 IDLE HANDS ARE THE DEVIL'S PLAYGROUND. 537 00:32:49,268 --> 00:32:50,336 GRANDPA? EXCELLENT! 538 00:32:50,369 --> 00:32:52,671 NOW HAND THE PHONE TO YOUR MOTHER. 539 00:33:00,179 --> 00:33:01,313 LYDIA? 540 00:33:04,316 --> 00:33:06,385 JEEZ, LYDIA. 541 00:33:14,326 --> 00:33:17,263 GRANDPA? LYDIA ISN'T HERE RIGHT NOW. 542 00:33:17,296 --> 00:33:18,297 WELL, WHERE IS SHE? 543 00:33:18,330 --> 00:33:21,033 SHE WENT FOR A JOB INTERVIEW AT THE MORMON CHURCH. 544 00:33:21,067 --> 00:33:22,434 SECRETARY OR SOMETHING. 545 00:33:22,468 --> 00:33:25,637 YOUR MOTHER WILL NEVER WORK A DAY IN HER LIFE. 546 00:33:25,671 --> 00:33:27,173 LYDIA'S TURNED OVER A NEW LEAF. 547 00:33:27,206 --> 00:33:28,740 SHE'S--MUST BE THE FRESH AIR OR SOMETHING. 548 00:33:28,774 --> 00:33:31,677 SHE'S CHANGED. SHE'S RESPONSIBLE NOW. 549 00:33:31,710 --> 00:33:33,779 I CONTROL THE CASH FLOW. 550 00:33:33,812 --> 00:33:35,347 I RESPECT THAT, SIR. 551 00:33:35,381 --> 00:33:36,448 TELL HER SHE DUMPS THE INDIAN 552 00:33:36,482 --> 00:33:39,285 OR FACES THE WRATH OF ALMIGHTY GOD. 553 00:33:39,318 --> 00:33:40,386 THAT WOULD BE YOU? 554 00:34:43,449 --> 00:34:44,383 HI, SAM. 555 00:34:44,416 --> 00:34:45,684 YOUR MOM AND 8 OTHER DRUNKS 556 00:34:45,717 --> 00:34:47,419 RENTED A HOTEL ROOM IN DUBOIS 557 00:34:47,453 --> 00:34:49,488 AFTER THE BARS CLOSED LAST NIGHT. 558 00:34:49,521 --> 00:34:51,390 THEY'RE HAVING A PARTY. 559 00:34:51,423 --> 00:34:53,392 MY COUSIN DELORES IS THERE. 560 00:34:53,425 --> 00:34:54,526 DELORES' HUSBAND TOLD HER MOM 561 00:34:54,560 --> 00:34:56,762 IN HOPES OF GETTING DELORES DRAGGED OUT, 562 00:34:56,795 --> 00:34:59,198 BUT IT DIDN'T WORK. 563 00:35:01,267 --> 00:35:04,570 WELL, I'M MAKING COFFEE. YOU WANT SOME? 564 00:35:04,603 --> 00:35:07,706 I WANT TO EXPLAIN THE RULES BEFORE WE DO THIS. 565 00:35:07,739 --> 00:35:08,807 DO WHAT? 566 00:35:08,840 --> 00:35:11,643 MAKE SEX. WHY ELSE WOULD I BE HERE? 567 00:35:11,677 --> 00:35:14,246 WE'RE GONNA PERFORM SEX NOW? 568 00:35:14,280 --> 00:35:16,715 AFTER COFFEE. 569 00:35:25,324 --> 00:35:26,658 IT'S TIME YOU AND I FIND OUT 570 00:35:26,692 --> 00:35:29,395 WHAT THE BIG DEAL IS WITH THIS SEX THING. 571 00:35:29,428 --> 00:35:31,730 DO YOU THINK LYDIA MIGHT COME HOME TODAY? 572 00:35:31,763 --> 00:35:32,731 DOUBTFUL. 573 00:35:32,764 --> 00:35:34,733 YOU THINK YOU CAN GET A STIFFY? 574 00:35:34,766 --> 00:35:35,567 WELL, I DON'T KNOW. 575 00:35:35,601 --> 00:35:36,468 THEY SORT OF COME AND GO ON THEIR OWN. 576 00:35:36,502 --> 00:35:39,271 I HAVEN'T LEARNED HOW TO CONTROL THEM YET. 577 00:35:39,305 --> 00:35:41,440 MAYBE IT'LL HAPPEN NATURALLY. 578 00:35:41,473 --> 00:35:45,644 WELL, I HEARD SOMETHING ABOUT PUTTIN' IT IN THE GIRL'S MOUTH. 579 00:35:45,677 --> 00:35:46,712 UGH. 580 00:35:46,745 --> 00:35:49,348 I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING THAT MIGHT MAKE ME THROW UP. 581 00:35:52,251 --> 00:35:53,685 WE'RE BOTH VIRGINS. 582 00:35:53,719 --> 00:35:56,888 I NEVER SAID I WAS A VIRGIN. 583 00:35:58,757 --> 00:35:59,958 WE'RE BOTH VIRGINS. 584 00:35:59,991 --> 00:36:01,960 BUT SOMEDAY WE'RE GONNA FIND OURSELVES 585 00:36:01,993 --> 00:36:03,395 DOING IT FOR REAL. 586 00:36:03,429 --> 00:36:05,264 SO TODAY'S SEX ISN'T REAL? 587 00:36:05,297 --> 00:36:07,666 WE'RE JUST FRIENDS HELPING EACH OTHER 588 00:36:07,699 --> 00:36:09,268 LEARN A NEW SKILL. 589 00:36:09,301 --> 00:36:10,736 THIS IS PRACTICE. 590 00:36:10,769 --> 00:36:13,405 SO WILL WE STILL BE VIRGINS AFTERWARDS? 591 00:36:13,439 --> 00:36:16,708 THAT'S PART OF WHAT WE'RE GONNA LEARN, 592 00:36:16,742 --> 00:36:17,576 WHERE THE LINE 593 00:36:17,609 --> 00:36:19,678 BETWEEN VIRGINITY AND NON-VIRGINITY IS. 594 00:36:19,711 --> 00:36:21,247 HERE'S RULE NUMBER ONE: 595 00:36:21,280 --> 00:36:23,582 YOU BETTER NOT SQUIRT. 596 00:36:23,615 --> 00:36:24,316 AND NO KISSING. 597 00:36:24,350 --> 00:36:26,685 KISSING IS MUSHY EMOTIONAL STUFF. 598 00:36:26,718 --> 00:36:29,655 WE CAN'T DO THIS IF YOU'RE GOING TO GET MUSHY. 599 00:36:29,688 --> 00:36:33,191 I PROMISE. NO MUSH. 600 00:36:34,326 --> 00:36:37,296 I WISH WE DIDN'T HAVE TO BE NAKED. 601 00:36:37,329 --> 00:36:41,300 THAT'S A BIG PART OF DOING IT, I'M SURE. 602 00:36:44,836 --> 00:36:46,572 GO ON. 603 00:36:46,605 --> 00:36:48,440 YOU FIRST. 604 00:36:48,474 --> 00:36:51,510 JEEZ, LOUISE. 605 00:36:57,949 --> 00:36:59,585 YOUR TURN. 606 00:36:59,618 --> 00:37:01,653 WELL, THIS IS AS FAR AS I'VE DREAMED. 607 00:37:01,687 --> 00:37:03,255 I'M READY TO QUIT. 608 00:37:03,289 --> 00:37:04,523 SAM. 609 00:37:13,932 --> 00:37:16,001 I THOUGHT YOU'D BE BIGGER. 610 00:37:17,303 --> 00:37:19,037 WELL, IT SWELLS UP WHEN IT GETS STIFF. 611 00:37:19,070 --> 00:37:21,940 A HORSE'S WOODIE IS AS BIG AS ITS LEG. 612 00:37:21,973 --> 00:37:24,410 I DON'T THINK IT'S FAIR 613 00:37:24,443 --> 00:37:26,645 TO COMPARE PEOPLE TO HORSES. 614 00:37:36,655 --> 00:37:39,391 THIS DOESN'T LOOK POSSIBLE. 615 00:37:41,927 --> 00:37:45,531 HORSES DO IT WITH THE STALLION STANDING UP BEHIND THE MARE. 616 00:37:45,564 --> 00:37:47,833 FORGET HORSES, OK? 617 00:37:47,866 --> 00:37:50,402 YOU GOT A BETTER IDEA? 618 00:37:52,371 --> 00:37:55,574 MAYBE IF I STAND ON A CHAIR. 619 00:37:55,607 --> 00:37:56,875 WELL, MY BOOKS DON'T SAY ANYTHING 620 00:37:56,908 --> 00:37:58,944 ABOUT THE GIRL STANDING ON CHAIRS. 621 00:37:58,977 --> 00:37:59,811 BOOKS SKIP THIS PART 622 00:37:59,845 --> 00:38:03,515 AND GO RIGHT ON TO HOW WONDERFUL IT WAS. 623 00:38:05,116 --> 00:38:06,318 WELL, MAYBE IF WE KISS. 624 00:38:06,352 --> 00:38:09,388 I TOLD YOU. NO KISSING. 625 00:38:10,422 --> 00:38:14,460 MAYBE IF YOU TOUCH IT WITH YOUR HAND. 626 00:38:14,493 --> 00:38:17,028 OK, BUT DON'T LOOK. 627 00:38:28,474 --> 00:38:32,778 THAT'S MY BELLY BUTTON, SAM. 628 00:38:46,492 --> 00:38:47,926 SAM! HUH? 629 00:38:47,959 --> 00:38:52,464 THIS IS NOWHERE NEAR A THIRD OF A CUP. 630 00:38:52,498 --> 00:38:53,198 UH! 631 00:38:53,231 --> 00:38:55,434 DID WE LOSE OUR VIRGINITIES YET? 632 00:38:55,467 --> 00:38:58,336 I SURE AS HELL DIDN'T! 633 00:39:01,840 --> 00:39:02,874 Lydia: DIBS ON THE CAN! 634 00:39:02,908 --> 00:39:04,776 AHH! THE HELL WITH THAT! 635 00:39:04,810 --> 00:39:07,513 OHH, CRAP IT ALL, ANYWAY. 636 00:39:07,546 --> 00:39:10,115 Maurey: SAM, MEET MY COUSIN DELORES. 637 00:39:10,148 --> 00:39:12,117 HI. HOWDY. 638 00:39:12,150 --> 00:39:14,753 MAUREY, I WON'T TELL LAURABEL I SAW YOU HERE 639 00:39:14,786 --> 00:39:17,856 IF YOU DON'T TELL HER THAT YOU SAW ME. 640 00:39:19,458 --> 00:39:20,726 WHAT'S IN THE BOTTLE? 641 00:39:20,759 --> 00:39:23,094 TURPENHYDRATE AND CODEINE. 642 00:39:23,128 --> 00:39:25,096 IT'S REALLY GOOD FOR WHEN YOU WANT 643 00:39:25,130 --> 00:39:27,098 TO STOP DRINKING. 644 00:39:27,132 --> 00:39:29,668 Lydia: WHOO! 645 00:39:29,701 --> 00:39:31,637 YOUR TURN. 646 00:39:31,670 --> 00:39:32,938 HI, MOM. 647 00:39:32,971 --> 00:39:33,839 WHO? 648 00:39:33,872 --> 00:39:34,940 HI, LYDIA. 649 00:39:34,973 --> 00:39:37,409 THIS IS MY FRIEND MAUREY FROM SCHOOL. 650 00:39:37,443 --> 00:39:40,078 OH. WELCOME WAGON. 651 00:39:40,111 --> 00:39:42,414 MY MOM MADE ME COME. 652 00:39:42,448 --> 00:39:44,416 SHE THINKS SHE'S BETTY CROCKER. 653 00:39:44,450 --> 00:39:46,685 NOW, NEVER BE EMBARRASSED BY YOUR MOTHER. 654 00:39:46,718 --> 00:39:49,488 SAM'S EMBARRASSED OF ME, AND LOOK HOW HE TURNED OUT. 655 00:39:49,521 --> 00:39:51,557 Delores: HAD TO WHIZ LIKE A RACE HORSE. 656 00:39:51,590 --> 00:39:53,459 I SWEAR TO GOD YOU DO NOT BUY 657 00:39:53,492 --> 00:39:56,061 CODEINE COUGH SYRUP, YOU RENT IT. 658 00:39:56,094 --> 00:39:59,465 WHAT HAVE YOU KIDS BEEN UP TO ALL MORNING? 659 00:39:59,498 --> 00:40:03,502 GIN RUMMY. I OWE MAUREY $3.50. 660 00:40:03,535 --> 00:40:04,603 NO, WE WEREN'T. 661 00:40:04,636 --> 00:40:06,204 WE WERE TRYING TO HAVE SEX, 662 00:40:06,237 --> 00:40:08,907 ONLY WE COULDN'T DO IT. 663 00:40:09,207 --> 00:40:11,009 WHY WERE YOU TRYING TO HAVE SEX? 664 00:40:11,042 --> 00:40:14,145 I WANT TO KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE BEFORE I HIT PUBERTY 665 00:40:14,179 --> 00:40:15,013 AND HAVE TO DO IT FOR REAL, 666 00:40:15,046 --> 00:40:18,650 AND I FIGURED SAM WOULD BE MORE POPULAR 667 00:40:18,684 --> 00:40:19,818 IF HE KNEW HOW TO PLEASE GIRLS. 668 00:40:19,851 --> 00:40:22,854 HE HASN'T BEEN ALL THAT POPULAR SO FAR. 669 00:40:22,888 --> 00:40:23,789 WHAT'S THE MATTER, HONEY? 670 00:40:23,822 --> 00:40:26,658 YOU HAVIN' PROBLEMS KEEPIN' YOUR WEENIE UP? 671 00:40:26,692 --> 00:40:27,759 IT STOOD UP. 672 00:40:27,793 --> 00:40:30,496 BUT WE COULDN'T FIGURE OUT WHERE HE SHOULD GO IN FROM. 673 00:40:30,529 --> 00:40:32,430 AND THEN HE SQUIRTED. 674 00:40:33,231 --> 00:40:35,000 YOUR TURN. 675 00:40:36,001 --> 00:40:39,070 YOU AND YOUR MAMA HAVE LITTLE CHATS LIKE THIS? 676 00:40:39,104 --> 00:40:41,507 MY MOTHER THINKS I'M SWEET 14 677 00:40:41,540 --> 00:40:42,474 AND NEVER BEEN KISSED. 678 00:40:42,508 --> 00:40:45,477 I KNEW WHERE TO GO IN, I THINK, 679 00:40:45,511 --> 00:40:46,678 BUT IT WOULDN'T GO. 680 00:40:46,712 --> 00:40:47,979 I MUST BE TOO BIG. 681 00:40:50,148 --> 00:40:52,884 NOBODY'S TOO BIG. 682 00:40:52,918 --> 00:40:54,786 WERE YOU GOOD AND EXCITED? 683 00:40:54,820 --> 00:40:57,723 EXCITED? 684 00:40:57,756 --> 00:40:59,491 WET. YEAH. 685 00:40:59,525 --> 00:41:00,692 EXCITED WHEN YOU'RE... 686 00:41:00,726 --> 00:41:02,694 WET. YEAH. 687 00:41:02,728 --> 00:41:03,895 NICE AND WET. 688 00:41:03,929 --> 00:41:06,164 DOWN THERE. 689 00:41:07,298 --> 00:41:08,800 SHOULD I HAVE USED WATER? 690 00:41:08,834 --> 00:41:11,937 WATER DON'T QUITE CUT IT. 691 00:41:11,970 --> 00:41:14,773 CIGARETTES. 692 00:41:14,806 --> 00:41:16,274 FOREPLAY IS THE ONLY PROPER WAY 693 00:41:16,307 --> 00:41:18,944 A GENTLEMAN EXCITES A LADY. 694 00:41:18,977 --> 00:41:19,911 WHAT'S FOREPLAY? 695 00:41:19,945 --> 00:41:22,548 YOU KNOW, IT'S WHEN A MAN SQUEEZES YOUR BOOBS 696 00:41:22,581 --> 00:41:25,116 AND THEN WHISPERS REAL DIRTY IN YOUR EAR. 697 00:41:25,150 --> 00:41:26,785 DELORES! 698 00:41:26,818 --> 00:41:28,219 LYDIA. 699 00:41:28,253 --> 00:41:29,287 I WISH MY MOTHER HAD TAKEN TIME 700 00:41:29,320 --> 00:41:31,890 TO TALK TO ME ABOUT THOSE THINGS. 701 00:41:33,692 --> 00:41:34,893 ALL RIGHT. 702 00:41:34,926 --> 00:41:35,994 IF YOU KIDS ARE GONNA DO THIS, 703 00:41:36,027 --> 00:41:38,597 YOU MIGHT AS WELL DO IT RIGHT. 704 00:41:41,032 --> 00:41:42,934 OH, NO. 705 00:41:46,772 --> 00:41:48,206 NOW... 706 00:41:48,239 --> 00:41:50,141 MAUREY LOOKS SOMETHIN' LIKE THAT, RIGHT? 707 00:41:50,175 --> 00:41:54,012 MY EYES WERE CLOSED. 708 00:41:54,680 --> 00:41:57,015 WHAT YOU WANT TO DO IS YOU WANT TO GO IN DOWN HERE, 709 00:41:57,048 --> 00:42:01,119 AND ONE OF YOU IS GONNA HAVE TO GRAB IT AND ANGLE IT RIGHT, 710 00:42:01,152 --> 00:42:04,289 'CAUSE IT'LL JUST TAKE YEARS BEFORE IT SLIDES IN ON ITS OWN. 711 00:42:04,322 --> 00:42:06,291 MM-HMM. YEARS. 712 00:42:06,324 --> 00:42:07,392 NOW, 2 THINGS. 713 00:42:07,425 --> 00:42:12,130 YOU TWO GO AHEAD AND PLAY YOUR LITTLE BOY/GIRL GAMES, 714 00:42:12,163 --> 00:42:14,566 BUT THE FIRST SIGN OF A PERIOD IN MAUREY 715 00:42:14,600 --> 00:42:17,302 AND THE GAME STOPS. 716 00:42:17,335 --> 00:42:20,105 WHAT'S A PERIOD? 717 00:42:20,138 --> 00:42:22,273 NUMBER 2... 718 00:42:22,307 --> 00:42:23,208 IS A MATTER OF FORM. 719 00:42:23,241 --> 00:42:26,845 YOU DON'T TALK LIKE THIS IN FRONT OF ADULTS. 720 00:42:26,878 --> 00:42:27,813 AT YOUR AGE, 721 00:42:27,846 --> 00:42:31,783 SEX IS SOMETHING YOU-- YOU RUN AROUND AND HIDE. 722 00:42:31,817 --> 00:42:32,851 WHY? 723 00:42:32,884 --> 00:42:33,952 WELL, SOCIETY WOULD FALL APART 724 00:42:33,985 --> 00:42:36,588 IF PEOPLE WERE HONEST ABOUT SCREWING. 725 00:42:38,356 --> 00:42:43,261 SAM, LET'S GO TO YOUR ROOM AND READ COMIC BOOKS. 726 00:42:43,294 --> 00:42:47,198 YEAH. YEAH. COMIC BOOKS SOUND FUN. 727 00:42:51,402 --> 00:42:54,305 OH, I DID A BAD THING. 728 00:42:54,339 --> 00:42:56,574 NO. 729 00:42:59,344 --> 00:43:01,947 10-LETTER WORD FOR LAMPOON. 730 00:43:01,980 --> 00:43:03,715 UH, SATIRIZE. 731 00:43:06,084 --> 00:43:08,153 IT'S TOO SHORT. 732 00:43:08,186 --> 00:43:11,322 WILL YOU EXPLAIN TO ME ABOUT WOMEN? 733 00:43:11,356 --> 00:43:13,324 WOMEN ARE RIGHT AND MEN ARE WRONG, 734 00:43:13,358 --> 00:43:15,293 AND THAT'S ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW. 735 00:43:15,326 --> 00:43:17,963 I MEAN ABOUT LIKING. 736 00:43:17,996 --> 00:43:20,231 NOW THAT MAUREY AND I HAVE DONE IT, 737 00:43:20,265 --> 00:43:21,232 WILL SHE LIKE ME? 738 00:43:21,266 --> 00:43:23,334 MAUREY WILL ALWAYS HAVE A WARM SPOT IN HER HEART 739 00:43:23,368 --> 00:43:25,871 WHENEVER SHE THINKS ABOUT YOU. 740 00:43:26,938 --> 00:43:28,039 BUT SHE SAYS WE'RE JUST FRIENDS. 741 00:43:28,073 --> 00:43:30,776 WELL, YOU'RE LUCKY. THAT WAY YOU CAN HAVE THE FUN OF LOVE 742 00:43:30,809 --> 00:43:31,977 WITHOUT THE HEARTBREAK. 743 00:43:32,010 --> 00:43:33,211 BUT WHAT IF I LIKE HER 744 00:43:33,244 --> 00:43:34,846 AND GET MY HEART BROKE ANYWAY? 745 00:43:34,880 --> 00:43:36,782 THEN YOU'RE A SUCKER. 746 00:43:36,815 --> 00:43:39,718 HERE'S THE DEAL, SAM. IF YOU SLEEP WITH A GIRL 747 00:43:39,751 --> 00:43:41,252 AND AFTERWARDS SHE LIKES YOU AS A FRIEND, 748 00:43:41,286 --> 00:43:43,288 THEN SHE'S ALWAYS GONNA LIKE YOU AS A FRIEND 749 00:43:43,321 --> 00:43:45,223 AND SHE'S NEVER GONNA LIKE YOU AS A LOVER. 750 00:43:45,256 --> 00:43:48,326 AND THERE AIN'T NOTHIN' IN THIS HELL-BITCH WORLD 751 00:43:48,359 --> 00:43:50,295 YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT. 752 00:43:55,300 --> 00:43:57,235 Hank: ARE YOU AFRAID TO ADMIT 753 00:43:57,268 --> 00:43:58,403 THAT THE OTHER NIGHT MEANT SOMETHING? 754 00:43:58,436 --> 00:44:01,239 Lydia: WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN US IS JUST WHAT I LIKE MOST: 755 00:44:01,272 --> 00:44:03,108 SEX WITHOUT CONSEQUENCES. 756 00:44:03,141 --> 00:44:04,375 HEY, MOM, I'M HOME. 757 00:44:04,409 --> 00:44:07,679 Hank: IF I'M STUPID, I GO TO JAIL. 758 00:44:07,713 --> 00:44:09,214 IF YOU'RE STUPID, YOU GET SHIPPED OFF 759 00:44:09,247 --> 00:44:11,182 TO LIVE WITH THE COMMONERS FOR A FEW MONTHS. 760 00:44:11,216 --> 00:44:13,919 THE WORST THING THAT COULD POSSIBLY HAPPEN TO YOU 761 00:44:13,952 --> 00:44:16,154 IS YOU MIGHT LOSE YOUR TRUST FUND. 762 00:44:16,187 --> 00:44:17,322 WELL, I'M NOT ABOUT TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE 763 00:44:17,355 --> 00:44:21,326 WAITIN' FOR FREE CHEESE AT THE COUNTY EXTENSION OFFICE. 764 00:44:31,202 --> 00:44:33,939 GOT RID OF ANOTHER ONE. 765 00:44:35,273 --> 00:44:37,743 WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO SCREW YOUR LITTLE GIRLFRIEND 766 00:44:37,776 --> 00:44:40,445 AND LEAVE ME ALONE? 767 00:44:47,252 --> 00:44:49,988 WE'RE GOING ON A DOUBLE DATE TO THE SATURDAY MATINEE. 768 00:44:50,021 --> 00:44:51,957 WHAT, YOU AND ME AND ANOTHER COUPLE? 769 00:44:51,990 --> 00:44:55,326 NO, ME AND DOTHAN AND YOU AND CHUCKETTE MORRIS. 770 00:44:55,360 --> 00:44:58,163 BUT DOTHAN'S OUR MORTAL ENEMY. 771 00:44:58,196 --> 00:45:01,466 HE'S YOUR MORTAL ENEMY. HE'S MY BOYFRIEND. 772 00:45:01,499 --> 00:45:05,136 BUT DOTHAN CHEERED WHEN JOHN KENNEDY DIED. 773 00:45:05,170 --> 00:45:06,337 HE SAID "NIGGER." 774 00:45:06,371 --> 00:45:09,941 HE'S JUST REPEATING CRAP HIS JERK-RACIST DAD SPEWS AT HOME. 775 00:45:09,975 --> 00:45:11,276 HE DIDN'T KNOW ANY BETTER. 776 00:45:11,309 --> 00:45:14,412 WELL, HE RUBBED OUR FACES IN THE DIRT. 777 00:45:14,445 --> 00:45:16,181 AND HE APOLOGIZED. 778 00:45:16,214 --> 00:45:17,248 WELL, NOT TO ME. 779 00:45:17,282 --> 00:45:19,951 DOTHAN WAS JEALOUS WHEN HE SAW US SITTING TOGETHER. 780 00:45:19,985 --> 00:45:22,453 HE'S LIKED ME SINCE THE FIFTH GRADE. 781 00:45:22,487 --> 00:45:24,189 WELL, DO YOU LIKE HIM? 782 00:45:24,222 --> 00:45:27,826 THAT'S NOT THE POINT. DOTHAN HAS A LEARNER'S PERMIT AND A CAR. 783 00:45:27,859 --> 00:45:29,260 WE CAN DOUBLE WITH YOU AND CHUCKETTE. 784 00:45:29,294 --> 00:45:31,930 WELL, I CAN'T STAND CHUCKETTE MORRIS. 785 00:45:31,963 --> 00:45:32,764 YEAH, BUT SHE LIKES YOU. 786 00:45:32,798 --> 00:45:36,034 THIS IS YOUR BIG CHANCE TO GET A DATE. 787 00:45:37,402 --> 00:45:42,240 HURRY UP, SAM. MOM WILL BE HOME SOON. 788 00:46:22,347 --> 00:46:23,815 * DO THE MANTA RAY 789 00:46:23,849 --> 00:46:25,350 * DO THE SQUID 790 00:46:25,383 --> 00:46:28,319 * OOH, YEAH, BABY, LIKE I KNEW YOU DID * 791 00:46:28,353 --> 00:46:31,189 * DO THE LOBSTER, BABY, DO THE EEL * 792 00:46:31,222 --> 00:46:32,290 YOU GONNA KISS ME OR NOT? 793 00:46:32,323 --> 00:46:34,893 * WHOO, BABY, I LIKE HOW THAT FEELS * 794 00:46:34,926 --> 00:46:36,527 * YAHOO 795 00:46:36,561 --> 00:46:37,428 * YEAH, YEAH 796 00:46:37,462 --> 00:46:38,864 * SWIM LIKE THAT 797 00:46:38,897 --> 00:46:40,398 * YAHOO, CHECK MY FINS OUT * 798 00:46:40,431 --> 00:46:42,400 WELL, YOU'LL HAVE TO TAKE OUT YOUR GUM. 799 00:46:42,433 --> 00:46:45,871 AW, BUT YOU JUST BOUGHT IT. 800 00:46:45,904 --> 00:46:47,839 SUIT YOURSELF. 801 00:46:47,873 --> 00:46:48,974 GOSH... 802 00:46:49,007 --> 00:46:53,344 I DIDN'T KNOW WHEN I MOVED HERE IF I'D FIT IN, BUT... 803 00:46:53,378 --> 00:46:55,613 YOU KIDS ARE REALLY GREAT! 804 00:46:55,646 --> 00:46:57,482 * YAHOO 805 00:46:57,515 --> 00:46:59,284 * CHECK MY FINS OUT 806 00:46:59,317 --> 00:47:00,285 * YAHOO 807 00:47:00,318 --> 00:47:03,554 OK, YOU WIN. 808 00:47:03,588 --> 00:47:08,126 [CHOMPS, SIGHS] 809 00:47:11,529 --> 00:47:13,131 * YAHOO 810 00:47:13,164 --> 00:47:14,432 * SWIM IT NOW 811 00:47:14,465 --> 00:47:16,267 * YAHOO 812 00:47:16,301 --> 00:47:17,969 * CHECK HER FINS OUT 813 00:47:18,003 --> 00:47:19,104 * YAHOO 814 00:47:19,137 --> 00:47:20,605 * GET ON YOUR MARK 815 00:47:20,638 --> 00:47:22,173 * YAHOO 816 00:47:22,207 --> 00:47:25,276 * LET'S DO THE SHARK 817 00:47:25,310 --> 00:47:31,316 * AAH-OOH 818 00:47:38,589 --> 00:47:41,259 AH! OOH! 819 00:47:41,292 --> 00:47:42,393 YOU BIT MY TONGUE! 820 00:47:42,427 --> 00:47:43,494 OOH! 821 00:47:43,528 --> 00:47:45,296 GET HER, SAMMY. 822 00:47:45,330 --> 00:47:48,533 OH, GOD. THAT WAS DISGUSTING. 823 00:47:48,566 --> 00:47:50,168 IT WAS A KISS. 824 00:47:50,201 --> 00:47:53,304 WITH YOUR WET, GROSS TONGUE HANGING OUT? 825 00:47:53,338 --> 00:47:56,307 OOH, IS THAT HOW BOYS BACK EAST KISS? 826 00:47:56,341 --> 00:47:58,209 THAT'S HOW EVERYBODY KISSES, CHARLOTTE. 827 00:47:58,243 --> 00:48:02,047 IT'S NOT--THAT'S NOT HOW THE NAZARENES DO IT. 828 00:48:02,080 --> 00:48:05,483 DADDY SAID BOYS WOULD TRY TO GET ME PASSIONATE 829 00:48:05,516 --> 00:48:09,487 SO THEY COULD MAKE ME PREGNANT AND RUIN MY LIFE 830 00:48:09,520 --> 00:48:11,990 AND TRICK ME INTO GOING TO HELL. 831 00:48:12,023 --> 00:48:16,261 YOU DON'T SOUND PASSIONATE. 832 00:48:16,294 --> 00:48:19,064 I WASN'T READY THAT TIME. 833 00:48:19,097 --> 00:48:21,566 LET'S TRY AGAIN. 834 00:48:23,334 --> 00:48:25,403 * JUST YOU AND ME 835 00:48:25,436 --> 00:48:30,308 * YEAH, OOH 836 00:48:36,381 --> 00:48:40,418 * GONNA TAKE HIM HOME TO SAMPLE MY COOKIN' * 837 00:48:40,451 --> 00:48:41,686 * NOT EVEN IF 838 00:48:41,719 --> 00:48:46,424 * MY MAMA AND DAD WERE THERE * 839 00:48:46,457 --> 00:48:49,394 * OH 840 00:48:49,427 --> 00:48:51,329 YOU'RE HOME, SAM. 841 00:48:52,463 --> 00:48:55,100 DO YOU WANNA COME IN? LYDIA GOT SOME NEW RECORDS. 842 00:48:55,133 --> 00:48:59,370 NO, THANKS. I'LL JUST HAVE DOTHAN TAKE ME ON HOME. 843 00:49:02,540 --> 00:49:03,641 ARE YOU SURE? 844 00:49:03,674 --> 00:49:08,113 GET OUT OF THE CAR, SAM. 845 00:49:08,146 --> 00:49:09,347 I'LL BE FINE. 846 00:49:09,380 --> 00:49:13,551 * HE DOESN'T SEEM SUCH A BAD KINDA GUY * 847 00:49:13,584 --> 00:49:14,485 YOU'LL BE OK? 848 00:49:14,519 --> 00:49:15,686 WHAT DO YOU THINK 849 00:49:15,720 --> 00:49:18,456 I'M GONNA DO TO HER, FOR CRISSAKES? 850 00:49:18,489 --> 00:49:20,391 GO ON, SAM. 851 00:49:20,425 --> 00:49:23,428 * WAA 852 00:49:23,461 --> 00:49:25,363 * I'VE HEARD ABOUT HIM 853 00:49:25,396 --> 00:49:27,632 * BAD THINGS ABOUT HIM 854 00:49:27,665 --> 00:49:30,101 * I'VE HEARD ABOUT HIM 855 00:49:30,135 --> 00:49:31,436 * BAD THINGS ABOUT 856 00:49:31,469 --> 00:49:32,370 * HIM 857 00:49:32,403 --> 00:49:34,072 * I'VE HEARD ABOUT HIM 858 00:49:34,105 --> 00:49:36,607 * BAD THINGS ABOUT HIM 859 00:49:36,641 --> 00:49:37,675 * I'VE HEARD ABOUT 860 00:49:37,708 --> 00:49:40,345 * HIM ATTA BOY, SAM. 861 00:49:43,814 --> 00:49:46,017 I SEE DON JUAN HAS DECIDED 862 00:49:46,051 --> 00:49:47,652 TO GRACE US WITH HIS PRESENCE. 863 00:49:49,420 --> 00:49:51,322 * HERE COMES THE BRIDE 864 00:49:51,356 --> 00:49:53,391 * ALL DRESSED IN WHITE 865 00:49:53,424 --> 00:49:57,395 * DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA * 866 00:50:06,304 --> 00:50:08,739 HEY, HEY, WHAT'S WITH THE DON JUAN CRACK? 867 00:50:08,773 --> 00:50:10,708 SO YOU SLIPPED THE TONGUE TO CHUCKETTE. 868 00:50:10,741 --> 00:50:13,244 WELL, SHE SAID "KISS ME," AND I KISSED HER. 869 00:50:13,278 --> 00:50:16,414 SHE CLAIMS YOU WERE SMACK DAB PASSIONATE. 870 00:50:16,447 --> 00:50:18,149 WHERE'D YOU LEARN TO KISS, ANYWAY? 871 00:50:18,183 --> 00:50:20,318 JUST WATCHIN' LYDIA AND HER BOYFRIENDS. 872 00:50:20,351 --> 00:50:24,555 IF MOM LETS ME OUT, I'LL BE OVER AFTER DICK VAN DYKE. 873 00:50:24,589 --> 00:50:27,492 MAYBE WE COULD TRY KISSING THIS TIME. 874 00:50:29,360 --> 00:50:32,230 DO YOU PRACTICE SEX WITH DOTHAN? 875 00:50:33,331 --> 00:50:36,267 OF COURSE NOT, SILLY. 876 00:50:36,301 --> 00:50:38,469 HE'S MY BOYFRIEND. 877 00:50:41,406 --> 00:50:43,408 MORNING, DARLING. 878 00:50:44,409 --> 00:50:46,711 I LIKE A BOY WHO GOES THROUGH THE LINE WITH ME 879 00:50:46,744 --> 00:50:47,612 AND CARRIES MY TRAY. 880 00:50:47,645 --> 00:50:49,380 IT'S ALL RIGHT THIS TIME, 881 00:50:49,414 --> 00:50:51,249 BUT YOUR MANNERS WILL HAVE TO IMPROVE 882 00:50:51,282 --> 00:50:52,383 SINCE WE'RE GOING STEADY. 883 00:50:52,417 --> 00:50:55,720 WHO SAID WE'RE GOIN' STEADY? 884 00:50:55,753 --> 00:50:56,754 WELL, EVERYONE. 885 00:50:56,787 --> 00:50:58,022 YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME AT THE PICTURE SHOW. 886 00:50:58,055 --> 00:51:02,793 WELL, THERE'S MORE TO A COMMITMENT THAN BITING SOMEONE'S TONGUE. 887 00:51:02,827 --> 00:51:05,296 WELL, THAT BEHAVIOR MAY PASS BACK EAST, 888 00:51:05,330 --> 00:51:06,797 BUT HERE IN WYOMING, WE'RE MORAL. 889 00:51:06,831 --> 00:51:11,269 THAT REMINDS ME. YOU HAVE TO GIVE ME YOUR JACKET. 890 00:51:11,302 --> 00:51:13,404 WHAT? 891 00:51:13,871 --> 00:51:16,274 WELL, IT'LL BE A LETTER JACKET NEXT YEAR. 892 00:51:16,307 --> 00:51:17,007 WE'LL MAKE DO FOR NOW. 893 00:51:17,041 --> 00:51:20,245 CHARLOTTE, IT'S FREEZING OUTSIDE. 894 00:51:20,278 --> 00:51:22,547 WHAT BETTER WAY TO PROVE YOUR LOVE FOR ME 895 00:51:22,580 --> 00:51:26,417 THAN TO SACRIFICE YOUR JACKET FOR MY OWN COMFORT? 896 00:51:26,451 --> 00:51:30,455 WELL, I DON'T WANNA PROVE MY LOVE. 897 00:51:31,656 --> 00:51:35,860 THEY'LL--THEY'LL THINK YOU TOOK ADVANTAGE OF ME. 898 00:51:35,893 --> 00:51:39,464 THEY'LL SAY I'M CHEAP. 899 00:51:39,497 --> 00:51:43,301 Dothan: COME ON, MAUREY, LET'S GO. 900 00:51:47,372 --> 00:51:50,641 JESUS. 901 00:51:55,346 --> 00:51:58,716 Sam: HANK'S TRUCK OUT FRONT WAS A GOOD SIGN. 902 00:51:58,749 --> 00:52:01,252 THE PIPES HAD BEEN FROZEN WHEN I LEFT FOR SCHOOL, 903 00:52:01,286 --> 00:52:03,254 WHICH PUT LYDIA IN AN EVEN NASTIER MOOD 904 00:52:03,288 --> 00:52:05,323 THAN SHE HAD BEEN IN SINCE THEIR FIGHT. 905 00:52:05,356 --> 00:52:08,726 I FIGURED THEY WERE UPSTAIRS HAVIN' A MAKEUP ORGY. 906 00:52:08,759 --> 00:52:12,397 I WAS GLAD FOR THEM. THEY REALLY SEEMED TO LIKE EACH OTHER, 907 00:52:12,430 --> 00:52:14,532 BUT AFTER ALL, YOUR MOM IS YOUR MOM, 908 00:52:14,565 --> 00:52:16,301 AND I'D HOPED THEY'D HEAR ME AND STOP. 909 00:52:16,334 --> 00:52:21,339 I WASN'T IN THE MOOD TO HEAR MOANS AND GROANS FROM MY OWN MOTHER. 910 00:52:25,243 --> 00:52:26,477 MOM. 911 00:52:27,845 --> 00:52:29,614 MOM. 912 00:52:33,251 --> 00:52:34,819 MOM. 913 00:52:35,720 --> 00:52:38,223 LYDIA? 914 00:52:41,492 --> 00:52:42,960 HI, HONEY BUNNY. 915 00:52:42,993 --> 00:52:44,429 HI, LYDIA. 916 00:52:44,462 --> 00:52:47,398 HANK CRAWLED UNDER THE HOUSE WITH A TORCH 917 00:52:47,432 --> 00:52:48,599 AND THAWED THE PIPES. 918 00:52:48,633 --> 00:52:50,401 WASN'T THAT NICE OF HIM? 919 00:52:51,769 --> 00:52:54,639 GIVE US A SIP. 920 00:52:59,410 --> 00:53:02,513 Lydia: UM, THERE'S A LETTER FROM CASPAR 921 00:53:02,547 --> 00:53:03,981 ON THE KITCHEN TABLE. 922 00:53:04,014 --> 00:53:06,317 YEAH, WHAT'S GRANDPA GOT TO SAY? 923 00:53:06,351 --> 00:53:08,653 AW, USUAL THREATS. 924 00:53:08,686 --> 00:53:10,521 NOTHIN' FOR YOU TO WORRY ABOUT. 925 00:53:10,555 --> 00:53:14,725 WE ARE LIVIN' SO CLEAN AND WHOLESOME HERE IN WYOMING, 926 00:53:14,759 --> 00:53:18,329 EVEN CASPAR CAN'T TOUCH US. 927 00:53:38,649 --> 00:53:41,519 TA-DA. 928 00:53:41,552 --> 00:53:42,987 I DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO WRAP IT. 929 00:53:43,020 --> 00:53:44,655 WELL, WHAT ELSE WERE YOU DOIN'? 930 00:53:44,689 --> 00:53:45,523 NOW YOU CAN LISTEN 931 00:53:45,556 --> 00:53:48,293 TO YOUR STUPID BASEBALL GAMES ALL NIGHT. 932 00:53:48,326 --> 00:53:49,860 THANKS, MOM. 933 00:53:49,894 --> 00:53:50,395 SAM. 934 00:53:50,428 --> 00:53:53,564 I MEAN, THANKS, LYDIA. 935 00:53:53,598 --> 00:53:56,301 MMM. YUCK. 936 00:53:57,435 --> 00:53:59,637 MMM. YUCK. 937 00:54:01,406 --> 00:54:04,909 MY PRESENT'S OUT IN THE BACK. 938 00:54:09,314 --> 00:54:11,482 SO, WE GONNA KEEP HIM? 939 00:54:11,516 --> 00:54:14,885 DON'T BE RIDICULOUS. HE'S NOT A SWEATER. 940 00:54:14,919 --> 00:54:16,554 I NEVER SAID HE WAS. 941 00:54:16,587 --> 00:54:21,258 BESIDES, WE WON'T BE HERE THAT LONG. 942 00:54:24,495 --> 00:54:27,465 HAPPY CHRISTMAS. 943 00:54:27,498 --> 00:54:29,334 WHAT'S THAT? 944 00:54:29,367 --> 00:54:32,370 BY TRADITION, IT OUGHTA BE A HORSE, 945 00:54:32,403 --> 00:54:34,305 BUT I WASN'T SURE YOU WANTED ONE. 946 00:54:34,339 --> 00:54:36,006 SAM HELPED ME CHOOSE IT. 947 00:54:36,040 --> 00:54:38,976 HEY, I TOLD HIM YOU'D NEVER GET ON IT. 948 00:54:39,009 --> 00:54:40,345 NOT IN A MILLION YEARS. 949 00:54:40,378 --> 00:54:41,278 WELL, YOU GOT THAT RIGHT. 950 00:54:41,312 --> 00:54:46,451 YEP, I SAID CASPAR WON'T LET YOU RIDE A BIKE. 951 00:54:51,922 --> 00:54:55,025 WHOO! 952 00:54:55,059 --> 00:54:56,894 COME ON, SAM. 953 00:54:56,927 --> 00:54:59,364 Sam: ALL RIGHT. 954 00:55:01,031 --> 00:55:02,166 YAHOO. HEY. 955 00:55:02,199 --> 00:55:04,735 I'LL GIVE YOU 5 BUCKS IF YOU CAN KNOCK MY COWBOY HAT OFF. 956 00:55:04,769 --> 00:55:06,337 Maurey: COME ON, CATCH UP. 957 00:55:06,371 --> 00:55:07,872 Sam: YEAH. 958 00:55:07,905 --> 00:55:10,007 SEE? I CAN RIDE. LOOK, NO HANDS. 959 00:55:10,040 --> 00:55:11,075 YEAH, RIGHT. WELL, ONE HAND. 960 00:55:11,108 --> 00:55:11,742 I'M GONNA-- I'M GONNA... 961 00:55:11,776 --> 00:55:13,411 DON'T RUN ME OVER. 962 00:55:13,444 --> 00:55:15,580 WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! 963 00:55:15,613 --> 00:55:16,547 WHOA! 964 00:55:16,581 --> 00:55:18,783 Lydia: HEY, BABY, YOU OK? 965 00:55:18,816 --> 00:55:22,353 WE SHOULD HAVE GOT HER THAT DAMN HORSE. 966 00:55:23,621 --> 00:55:24,489 Hank: CATCH HER! 967 00:55:24,522 --> 00:55:26,857 THIS AIN'T SO HARD. 968 00:55:26,891 --> 00:55:29,427 COME ON, HURRY UP. 969 00:55:29,460 --> 00:55:31,562 GET BACK HERE, LYDIA! 970 00:55:31,596 --> 00:55:34,632 * HE CARES FOR ME LIKE I HOPED HE WOULD NOW * 971 00:55:34,665 --> 00:55:39,036 * SOMETHIN' TELLS ME I'M INTO SOMETHIN' GOOD * 972 00:55:39,069 --> 00:55:42,440 * SOMETHIN' TELLS ME I'M INTO SOMETHIN' * 973 00:55:42,473 --> 00:55:46,711 * SOMETHIN' TELLS ME I'M INTO SOMETHIN' * 974 00:55:46,744 --> 00:55:47,512 TIME OUT. 975 00:55:47,545 --> 00:55:51,849 * GOOD 976 00:55:54,419 --> 00:55:55,686 MAUREY DOESN'T LOVE ME, SAM. 977 00:55:55,720 --> 00:55:59,390 SHE LOVES YOU. YOU CAN HAVE HER. 978 00:55:59,424 --> 00:56:02,126 WELL, THAT'S AWFULLY SPORTING OF YOU. 979 00:56:02,159 --> 00:56:02,760 NO SWEAT... 980 00:56:02,793 --> 00:56:06,030 I'M IN LOVE WITH ANOTHER. 981 00:56:06,063 --> 00:56:09,634 * WHEN HE GOT ME HOME AND HE HELD MY HAND * 982 00:56:09,667 --> 00:56:13,671 * I KNEW IT WOULDN'T BE JUST A ONE-NIGHT STAND * 983 00:56:13,704 --> 00:56:16,607 * 'CAUSE HE ASKED TO SEE ME NEXT WEEK * 984 00:56:16,641 --> 00:56:18,142 * AND I TOLD HIM HE COULD 985 00:56:18,175 --> 00:56:21,646 * HE ASKED TO SEE ME AND I TOLD HIM HE COULD, WELL * 986 00:56:21,679 --> 00:56:25,783 * SOMETHIN' TELLS ME I'M INTO SOMETHIN' GOOD * 987 00:56:25,816 --> 00:56:29,487 * SOMETHIN' TELLS ME I'M INTO SOMETHIN' * 988 00:56:29,520 --> 00:56:31,456 * SOMETHIN' GOOD 989 00:56:31,489 --> 00:56:32,690 * OH, YEAH 990 00:56:32,723 --> 00:56:33,624 * SOMETHIN' GOOD 991 00:56:33,658 --> 00:56:37,495 * SOMETHIN' TELLS ME I'M INTO SOMETHIN' * 992 00:56:37,528 --> 00:56:43,133 * SOMETHIN' TELLS ME I'M INTO SOMETHIN' GOOD * 993 00:56:51,742 --> 00:56:52,409 IS LYDIA HERE? 994 00:56:52,443 --> 00:56:54,044 YEAH, WE'RE GOIN' ON A PICNIC. 995 00:56:54,078 --> 00:56:55,713 YOU WANNA COME? 996 00:56:56,246 --> 00:56:57,982 IS LYDIA COMING? 997 00:56:58,015 --> 00:57:00,785 WELL, YEAH. 998 00:57:02,487 --> 00:57:03,554 Lydia: HANK PROMISED WE'D SEE 999 00:57:03,588 --> 00:57:05,122 A MAGNIFICENT VIEW OF THE LAKE. 1000 00:57:05,155 --> 00:57:07,091 HE'D BETTER NOT BE LYIN' 1001 00:57:07,124 --> 00:57:10,027 HEY, LOOK. 1002 00:57:31,516 --> 00:57:36,186 IN NATURE, A PERSON CAN BE IDEALISTIC. 1003 00:57:36,220 --> 00:57:39,189 YOU CAN BELIEVE IN THINGS. 1004 00:57:39,223 --> 00:57:41,058 WELL, LIKE WHAT? 1005 00:57:42,860 --> 00:57:44,929 LIKE BEAUTY... 1006 00:57:44,962 --> 00:57:47,164 AND THE NOBILITY OF HUMANS. 1007 00:57:47,197 --> 00:57:50,601 PEOPLE IN THE CITIES CANNOT BELIEVE IN NOBILITY 1008 00:57:50,635 --> 00:57:52,837 BECAUSE THEY SEE NO SIGN OF IT. 1009 00:57:52,870 --> 00:57:58,208 I JUST LOVE IT WHEN HE TALKS LIKE CHIEF JOSEPH. 1010 00:58:01,145 --> 00:58:04,048 HOW CAN YOU TELL IF YOU'RE PREGNANT? 1011 00:58:06,951 --> 00:58:07,985 WELL, THE GAME WAS SUPPOSED TO END 1012 00:58:08,018 --> 00:58:09,520 WHEN YOU GOT YOUR FIRST PERIOD. 1013 00:58:09,554 --> 00:58:12,757 I HAVEN'T HAD A PERIOD YET. 1014 00:58:12,790 --> 00:58:14,859 W 1015 00:58:14,892 --> 00:58:17,261 WELL, I... 1016 00:58:17,294 --> 00:58:19,864 I HARDLY KNOW WHAT BEING PREGNANT 1017 00:58:19,897 --> 00:58:22,199 FEELS LIKE MYSELF. 1018 00:58:22,232 --> 00:58:23,568 I WAS ONLY WITH CHILD ONCE, 1019 00:58:23,601 --> 00:58:25,235 AND I WASN'T MUCH OLDER THAN YOU. 1020 00:58:25,269 --> 00:58:27,838 I'M JUST A KID. I CAN'T HAVE A BABY. 1021 00:58:27,872 --> 00:58:30,507 SEE? THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT. 1022 00:58:40,184 --> 00:58:41,719 YOU DIDN'T CALL ME THIS WEEKEND. 1023 00:58:41,752 --> 00:58:43,588 I DON'T KNOW WHY I GO STEADY WITH YOU. 1024 00:58:43,621 --> 00:58:45,923 YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO CALL ME AT LEAST ONCE A DAY. 1025 00:58:45,956 --> 00:58:47,558 SHARON'S BOYFRIEND CALLS HER HOUSE 1026 00:58:47,592 --> 00:58:48,659 A DOZEN TIMES A DAY, 1027 00:58:48,693 --> 00:58:50,595 AND THEN LETS THE PHONE RING ONCE AND THEN HANGS UP 1028 00:58:50,628 --> 00:58:52,329 JUST TO LET HER KNOW HE STILL LOVES HER, 1029 00:58:52,362 --> 00:58:55,600 AND THIS MORNING, YOU DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE MY NEW SKIRT. 1030 00:58:55,633 --> 00:58:59,570 I WAS SO APPALLED. I MEAN, EVEN RODNEY MADE A COMPLIMENT, 1031 00:58:59,604 --> 00:59:01,972 AND DID I GET ANYTHING FROM YOU? NO. 1032 00:59:02,006 --> 00:59:05,776 IT HURTS. I'M TRYING TO LOOK NICE FOR YOU. 1033 00:59:05,810 --> 00:59:07,778 I MEAN, YOU ARE MY BOYFRIEND. 1034 00:59:07,812 --> 00:59:09,847 IF THIS RELATIONSHIP DOESN'T START 1035 00:59:09,880 --> 00:59:11,081 TO COME TO MY END OF IT, 1036 00:59:11,115 --> 00:59:14,952 THEN I'M AFRAID THIS WILL NOT WORK OUT. 1037 00:59:35,405 --> 00:59:38,943 ARE YOU OK? 1038 00:59:38,976 --> 00:59:42,212 WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK? 1039 00:59:42,246 --> 00:59:45,650 WELL, IF YOU'RE PREGNANT, I'LL MARRY YOU. 1040 00:59:45,683 --> 00:59:48,953 SAM, I CAN'T MARRY YOU. 1041 00:59:48,986 --> 00:59:51,789 WHY NOT? 1042 00:59:53,924 --> 00:59:59,930 I'M 14 YEARS OLD. 1043 01:00:05,035 --> 01:00:09,206 Lydia: IT'S NOT GONNA BE THAT BAD, HONEY. 1044 01:00:09,239 --> 01:00:11,408 OH, SHH, WAIT, SHH. 1045 01:00:11,441 --> 01:00:13,310 SHH. ONE SECOND. 1046 01:00:29,226 --> 01:00:31,128 WHOA. 1047 01:00:31,161 --> 01:00:33,931 WE CAN RENT AN APARTMENT. I'LL GET A JOB. 1048 01:00:33,964 --> 01:00:36,366 OH, SAM. DON'T BE A SQUIRREL. 1049 01:00:36,400 --> 01:00:38,903 ARE YOU COMIN' OR NOT? 1050 01:00:40,805 --> 01:00:41,371 YEAH. 1051 01:00:41,405 --> 01:00:44,374 GOOD, YOU NAVIGATE. 1052 01:00:44,408 --> 01:00:46,243 YOU KNOW, NOBODY ASKED ME 1053 01:00:46,276 --> 01:00:47,812 WHAT I WANTED TO DO ABOUT THE BABY. 1054 01:00:47,845 --> 01:00:50,715 NO, NO ONE'S GOING TO, EITHER. 1055 01:01:02,326 --> 01:01:05,262 Lydia: DELORES SAYS THIS IS A NASTY TOWN, 1056 01:01:05,295 --> 01:01:09,066 AND SHE DOESN'T MEAN "NASTY" IN A NICE WAY. 1057 01:01:16,306 --> 01:01:20,344 I'VE GOTTA BE HOME BEFORE MOM GETS BACK FROM IDAHO FALLS. 1058 01:01:20,377 --> 01:01:23,380 Lydia: WELL, LET'S DO IT, THEN. 1059 01:01:31,789 --> 01:01:34,158 ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? 1060 01:01:40,931 --> 01:01:44,201 THEY'RE READY FOR YOU. 1061 01:01:44,234 --> 01:01:46,336 THIS IS THE SHITS. 1062 01:01:46,370 --> 01:01:49,273 YOU'RE GONNA BE OK. 1063 01:01:51,275 --> 01:01:53,710 I KNOW. 1064 01:01:55,512 --> 01:01:59,283 Nurse: RIGHT THIS WAY, SWEETHEART. 1065 01:02:13,563 --> 01:02:14,965 HERE YOU ARE, DEAR. 1066 01:02:14,999 --> 01:02:17,267 Girl: THANK YOU. 1067 01:02:19,469 --> 01:02:22,106 I DON'T KNOW WHY WE'RE HERE. 1068 01:02:25,275 --> 01:02:28,813 SAM, STOP FIDGETING. 1069 01:02:29,880 --> 01:02:32,016 I'M GONNA GO WAIT IN THE WAITING ROOM. 1070 01:02:32,049 --> 01:02:33,951 FINE. 1071 01:02:44,328 --> 01:02:45,429 SAM. 1072 01:02:49,333 --> 01:02:50,500 MAUREY. 1073 01:02:50,534 --> 01:02:52,569 OH, LET'S GO. 1074 01:02:52,602 --> 01:02:54,404 Woman: MAUREY. 1075 01:02:54,438 --> 01:02:57,107 MAUREY. 1076 01:03:02,412 --> 01:03:05,582 Lydia: LAURABEL PIERCE AND COACH STEBBINS? 1077 01:03:05,615 --> 01:03:09,954 IT PUTS NEW MEANING INTO WELCOME WAGON. 1078 01:03:09,987 --> 01:03:12,890 DADDY. 1079 01:03:12,923 --> 01:03:17,094 OH, I'M SORRY. DADDY. 1080 01:03:22,299 --> 01:03:24,201 HOW COULD MAUREY AND HER MOM 1081 01:03:24,234 --> 01:03:26,603 HAVE AN ABORTION AT THE SAME TIME? 1082 01:03:27,371 --> 01:03:28,538 THERE'S ONLY ONE CLINIC DOIN' 'EM 1083 01:03:28,572 --> 01:03:29,439 FOR HUNDREDS OF MILES, 1084 01:03:29,473 --> 01:03:32,242 AND THEN ONLY ON SATURDAYS. 1085 01:03:32,576 --> 01:03:37,281 I BET THERE NEVER WAS THAT BRIDGE CLUB IN IDAHO FALLS. 1086 01:03:37,314 --> 01:03:39,383 WHILE DADDY'S UP AT THE RANCH 1087 01:03:39,416 --> 01:03:41,018 TAKING CARE OF THE HORSES, 1088 01:03:41,051 --> 01:03:42,887 MOM'S NAKED WITH HOWARD STEBBINS 1089 01:03:42,920 --> 01:03:46,023 STICKING HIS GREASY THING IN HER. 1090 01:03:52,262 --> 01:03:54,598 I HATE MOTHERS. 1091 01:04:01,005 --> 01:04:03,007 IT'S ALL RIGHT. 1092 01:04:10,981 --> 01:04:13,483 Lydia: ARE YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANNA COME HOME WITH US? 1093 01:04:13,517 --> 01:04:15,485 Maurey: I HAVE TO FIX PETEY'S SUPPER. 1094 01:04:15,519 --> 01:04:18,355 MOM MIGHT NOT MAKE IT HOME TILL LATE. 1095 01:04:24,528 --> 01:04:28,198 SAM, SHE'S BAREFOOT. 1096 01:04:28,232 --> 01:04:30,167 OH. 1097 01:04:50,054 --> 01:04:51,521 I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW. 1098 01:04:51,555 --> 01:04:53,590 SO, ARE WE GONNA KEEP THE BABY? 1099 01:04:53,623 --> 01:04:57,161 I CAN'T THINK ABOUT THAT NOW, SAM. 1100 01:04:57,194 --> 01:04:59,396 OK. 1101 01:05:00,397 --> 01:05:08,305 * THESE FOOLISH TEARS I'M CRYIN' OVER YOU * 1102 01:05:08,338 --> 01:05:11,275 * THIS FOOLISH HEART 1103 01:05:11,308 --> 01:05:12,242 WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU? 1104 01:05:12,276 --> 01:05:15,045 * WHAT ELSE TO DO 1105 01:05:15,079 --> 01:05:18,715 I DESERVE SOME FUN TONIGHT. 1106 01:05:18,748 --> 01:05:22,419 RAISIN' KIDS IS A LOT OF RESPONSIBILITY. 1107 01:05:22,452 --> 01:05:23,954 HOW WOULD YOU KNOW? 1108 01:05:23,988 --> 01:05:27,024 * THE WORLD'S STILL CALLIN' * 1109 01:05:27,057 --> 01:05:28,425 WELL, WHAT DOES THAT INFER? 1110 01:05:28,458 --> 01:05:31,061 * BE TRUE 1111 01:05:31,661 --> 01:05:35,332 I DIDN'T KNOW SHE WOULD GET PREGNANT. 1112 01:05:37,301 --> 01:05:38,302 YOU KNOW, I'VE JUST ABOUT HAD IT 1113 01:05:38,335 --> 01:05:40,704 WITH YOUR JUDGMENTAL ATTITUDE. 1114 01:05:43,040 --> 01:05:45,009 THOSE KIDS WERE 14, 1115 01:05:45,042 --> 01:05:48,545 AND YOU TAUGHT THEM SEX GAMES. 1116 01:05:48,578 --> 01:05:51,348 YOUR FATHER IS RIGHT. 1117 01:05:51,381 --> 01:05:55,319 SAM COULDN'T BE WORSE OFF IN A MILITARY SCHOOL. 1118 01:06:02,026 --> 01:06:05,695 * ALL THOSE HOURS THAT I SPENT HERE * 1119 01:06:05,729 --> 01:06:07,064 YOU FINISHED WITH THAT? 1120 01:06:07,097 --> 01:06:10,367 * MAKIN' NICE 1121 01:06:14,171 --> 01:06:15,739 COME ON, DOUGIE, DANCE WITH ME. 1122 01:06:15,772 --> 01:06:17,274 HEY. COME ON. 1123 01:06:17,307 --> 01:06:24,748 * BUT I'VE LIED TO MYSELF THAT YOU'D STILL WAIT * 1124 01:06:24,781 --> 01:06:27,251 * YOU SHOULD HAVE CHANGED 1125 01:06:27,284 --> 01:06:30,487 [DOOR LATCH UNLOCKS] 1126 01:06:35,125 --> 01:06:37,727 Lydia: COME ON, DOUGIE. 1127 01:06:41,165 --> 01:06:42,432 YEAH. 1128 01:06:56,580 --> 01:06:58,415 WHO DO YOU HAVE TO FUCK IN THIS JOINT 1129 01:06:58,448 --> 01:07:01,185 TO GET A CUP OF COFFEE? 1130 01:07:01,585 --> 01:07:04,054 I HEARD HANK'S TRUCK LAST NIGHT. 1131 01:07:04,088 --> 01:07:06,590 HE KNOWS WHAT YOU WERE DOING. 1132 01:07:06,623 --> 01:07:09,293 SO SHOOT ME. 1133 01:07:11,261 --> 01:07:12,296 HEY. 1134 01:07:12,329 --> 01:07:15,499 LYDIA. 1135 01:07:16,266 --> 01:07:20,170 WELL, YOU GONNA HAVE THE BABY? 1136 01:07:20,204 --> 01:07:23,607 I GUESS SO. 1137 01:07:23,640 --> 01:07:26,243 REALLY? 1138 01:07:26,276 --> 01:07:27,344 WHY ARE YOU SO HAPPY? 1139 01:07:27,377 --> 01:07:31,548 I DON'T KNOW. I GUESS I'M JUST READY TO BE A FATHER. 1140 01:07:31,581 --> 01:07:33,250 MORNIN', LADIES. 1141 01:07:33,283 --> 01:07:34,251 MMM. 1142 01:07:36,253 --> 01:07:38,355 WHAT'S HANK DOIN'? 1143 01:07:42,592 --> 01:07:44,394 Dot: WHAT'S THAT HE'S GOT? 1144 01:07:44,428 --> 01:07:47,131 THAT'S OUR MOOSE. 1145 01:07:49,433 --> 01:07:51,535 HE'S DRUNKER THAN A SKUNK. 1146 01:07:51,568 --> 01:07:53,337 HANK DOESN'T DRINK. 1147 01:07:53,370 --> 01:07:55,805 MAYBE HE'S SICK. 1148 01:07:56,806 --> 01:07:58,342 OH, SHOOT. 1149 01:08:17,627 --> 01:08:19,863 HEY, BUTT-FACE. 1150 01:08:19,896 --> 01:08:21,465 DON'T CALL ME BUTT-FACE. 1151 01:08:21,498 --> 01:08:25,302 MAUREY'S PREGNANT. YOU COULD HAVE HURT HER. 1152 01:08:25,335 --> 01:08:27,537 YOUR MOTHER'S A WHORE. 1153 01:08:28,305 --> 01:08:31,308 YEAH, WELL, THAT STILL DOESN'T GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO HURT MAUREY. 1154 01:08:31,341 --> 01:08:34,578 I'M SORRY... 1155 01:08:35,345 --> 01:08:39,349 BUT YOUR MOTHER'S STILL A WHORE. 1156 01:09:00,437 --> 01:09:02,406 YOU OK? 1157 01:09:04,341 --> 01:09:07,311 ANOTHER PITIFUL MAN PUT HIS HOPES ON YOU, 1158 01:09:07,344 --> 01:09:08,945 AND YOU TOOK HIM DOWN. 1159 01:09:08,978 --> 01:09:11,348 FUCK YOU, SAM. 1160 01:09:11,381 --> 01:09:13,883 FUCK YOU, TOO, MOM. 1161 01:09:23,260 --> 01:09:26,230 Sam: YOUR PARENTS HAVE A REALLY NICE RANCH. 1162 01:09:26,263 --> 01:09:27,697 THANKS. 1163 01:09:33,403 --> 01:09:34,804 ARE YOU SURE YOU SHOULD BE DOIN' THAT? 1164 01:09:34,838 --> 01:09:39,909 DAD SAYS I WAS BORN ON A HORSE. COME ON. 1165 01:09:41,311 --> 01:09:43,247 YOU MEAN, YOU WANT ME TO GET UP THERE? 1166 01:09:43,280 --> 01:09:46,283 WHY NOT, SILLY? 1167 01:09:54,023 --> 01:09:57,461 COME ON. 1168 01:09:58,295 --> 01:10:00,564 Sam: IS YOUR DAD SUSPICIOUS YET? 1169 01:10:00,597 --> 01:10:01,898 Maurey: IF WE WERE OLDER, 1170 01:10:01,931 --> 01:10:03,967 HE'D BE WATCHING YOU LIKE A COYOTE. 1171 01:10:04,000 --> 01:10:05,302 RIGHT NOW HIS WORST FEAR IS 1172 01:10:05,335 --> 01:10:07,837 LYDIA MIGHT GIVE ME A CIGARETTE. 1173 01:10:08,572 --> 01:10:09,339 WHAT ABOUT YOUR MOM? 1174 01:10:09,373 --> 01:10:10,640 DOES SHE KNOW YOU'RE STILL PREGNANT? 1175 01:10:10,674 --> 01:10:12,342 MOM WON'T SAY A WORD, 1176 01:10:12,376 --> 01:10:15,245 BUT I CAN TELL SHE'S GOING NUTS TO FIND OUT. 1177 01:10:15,279 --> 01:10:16,380 SHE SNEAKS IN MY ROOM 1178 01:10:16,413 --> 01:10:17,781 WHEN SHE THINKS I'M ASLEEP 1179 01:10:17,814 --> 01:10:20,684 AND STARES AT ME FOR HOURS. 1180 01:10:20,717 --> 01:10:23,620 IT'S SPOOKY. 1181 01:10:27,891 --> 01:10:29,726 Maurey: ISN'T BEING FRIENDS MUCH BETTER 1182 01:10:29,759 --> 01:10:31,528 THAN BEING GIRLFRIEND AND BOYFRIEND? 1183 01:10:31,561 --> 01:10:32,662 IF YOU WERE MY BOYFRIEND 1184 01:10:32,696 --> 01:10:34,264 I'D NEVER SHOW YOU THIS SPOT 1185 01:10:34,298 --> 01:10:35,599 BECAUSE WE MIGHT BREAK UP 1186 01:10:35,632 --> 01:10:37,867 AND THEN WHERE WOULD I BE? 1187 01:10:37,901 --> 01:10:39,836 WELL, WHERE WOULD YOU BE? 1188 01:10:39,869 --> 01:10:43,807 SOMEONE I DON'T LIKE WOULD KNOW MY SECRET. 1189 01:10:44,308 --> 01:10:47,611 BUT I STILL WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU. 1190 01:10:48,478 --> 01:10:50,314 WE CAN'T HAVE SEX NOW. 1191 01:10:50,347 --> 01:10:52,316 YOU'RE MY FRIEND. 1192 01:10:52,349 --> 01:10:53,517 I CAN'T RISK LOSING YOU 1193 01:10:53,550 --> 01:10:55,919 FOR SOMETHING AS SILLY AS SEX. 1194 01:10:55,952 --> 01:10:58,388 I'M CONFUSED. 1195 01:11:03,393 --> 01:11:07,931 YOU BIKE BACK INTO TOWN WITHOUT ME. 1196 01:11:07,964 --> 01:11:10,033 I THINK I'LL TALK TO DAD. 1197 01:11:10,066 --> 01:11:12,469 ARE YOU SURE? 1198 01:11:14,070 --> 01:11:15,772 IT'S TIME. 1199 01:11:17,374 --> 01:11:18,174 IS THERE ANY CHANCE YOU MIGHT 1200 01:11:18,207 --> 01:11:21,611 SKIP THE PART ABOUT WHO THE FATHER IS? 1201 01:11:22,346 --> 01:11:24,414 I'LL TRY, BUT YOU AND LYDIA 1202 01:11:24,448 --> 01:11:26,583 BETTER LOCK YOUR DOORS TONIGHT. 1203 01:11:33,457 --> 01:11:34,691 HI. 1204 01:11:45,635 --> 01:11:47,771 Lydia: THANKS, SUGAR. 1205 01:11:48,472 --> 01:11:52,342 MAUREY TOLD HER DAD ABOUT THE BABY THIS AFTERNOON. 1206 01:11:52,376 --> 01:11:53,977 WHAT DO YOU THINK HE'LL DO? 1207 01:11:54,010 --> 01:11:55,979 BUDDY PIERCE WILL BRAND YOUR BUTT. 1208 01:11:56,012 --> 01:12:01,751 ARE YOU SPEAKING LITERALLY OR METAPHORICALLY? 1209 01:12:12,562 --> 01:12:14,864 WELL, I'M GOD'S GIFT TO HORSES. 1210 01:12:14,898 --> 01:12:17,467 WELL, YES, SIR, BUT I ACCIDENTALLY 1211 01:12:17,501 --> 01:12:18,835 SQUIRTED INTO YOUR DAUGHTER 1212 01:12:18,868 --> 01:12:22,439 AND, WELL, NOW SHE'S WITH CHILD. 1213 01:12:23,072 --> 01:12:25,008 NO! 1214 01:12:54,203 --> 01:12:57,106 CAN I LIVE HERE TILL THE BABY COMES? 1215 01:12:57,140 --> 01:12:59,843 OF COURSE. 1216 01:12:59,876 --> 01:13:01,911 SO, HOW'D IT GO WITH YOUR DAD? 1217 01:13:01,945 --> 01:13:02,812 HE SAID I'M A SLUT 1218 01:13:02,846 --> 01:13:05,415 AND HE'S ASHAMED TO HAVE ME AS A DAUGHTER. 1219 01:13:06,282 --> 01:13:07,784 WELL, YOU PROBABLY JUST SURPRISED HIM. 1220 01:13:07,817 --> 01:13:10,019 JUST GIVE HIM A FEW DAYS. HE'LL COME AROUND. 1221 01:13:10,053 --> 01:13:12,422 NO, HE WON'T. 1222 01:13:12,456 --> 01:13:15,525 DADDY HAS MORALS AND I DON'T. 1223 01:13:16,960 --> 01:13:18,728 I'M GONNA GO SLEEP ON THE COUCH. 1224 01:13:18,762 --> 01:13:20,830 NO! 1225 01:13:20,864 --> 01:13:23,700 THAT'S TOO FAR AWAY. 1226 01:13:23,733 --> 01:13:27,771 SLEEP HERE ON THE FLOOR IN CASE I NEED YOU. 1227 01:13:44,654 --> 01:13:46,956 NOW, ALL YOUR LIFE I'VE TRIED TO SET AN EXAMPLE 1228 01:13:46,990 --> 01:13:50,727 OF HOW TO DEAL WITH PUBLIC DISAPPROVAL. 1229 01:13:50,760 --> 01:13:54,097 IT'S TIME TO SHOW ME WHAT YOU'VE LEARNED, HONEY BUNNY. 1230 01:14:31,167 --> 01:14:34,070 I FEEL LIKE LEE HARVEY OSWALD. 1231 01:14:34,103 --> 01:14:36,139 IT'S LIKE WE HAVE THE ULTIMATE COOTIES. 1232 01:14:36,172 --> 01:14:40,109 YEAH, I'LL SEE YOU AT LUNCH THERE, SAMMY-BOY. 1233 01:15:08,171 --> 01:15:10,607 I'M SORRY I GOT MAUREY PREGNANT 1234 01:15:10,640 --> 01:15:13,276 WHILE I WAS GOING STEADY WITH YOU. 1235 01:15:50,914 --> 01:15:53,549 SAM? 1236 01:15:54,851 --> 01:15:56,119 DID SHE TELL ON ME? 1237 01:15:56,152 --> 01:15:57,253 TELL ON YOU? 1238 01:15:57,286 --> 01:16:00,657 DOES HER FATHER KNOW ABOUT...YOU KNOW? 1239 01:16:00,690 --> 01:16:04,227 THAT YOU AND HER MOM SHARED AN ABORTION? 1240 01:16:07,296 --> 01:16:08,331 NO. 1241 01:16:08,364 --> 01:16:10,033 I THINK SHE LOVES HER DAD TOO MUCH 1242 01:16:10,066 --> 01:16:11,768 TO TELL HIM THAT YOU SCREWED HER MOM. 1243 01:16:11,801 --> 01:16:14,170 I HAVEN'T TALKED TO LAURABEL 1244 01:16:14,203 --> 01:16:16,305 SINCE THE DAY AT THE CLINIC. 1245 01:16:16,339 --> 01:16:18,708 YOU CAN TELL MAUREY THAT. 1246 01:16:18,742 --> 01:16:21,277 SO YOU GOT HER AN ABORTION, THEN DUMPED HER? 1247 01:16:21,310 --> 01:16:25,248 WELL, WASN'T THAT WHAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO DO? 1248 01:16:31,688 --> 01:16:33,823 HOW'D EVERYBODY FIND OUT? 1249 01:16:33,857 --> 01:16:34,958 NOW THAT I'VE TOLD DAD 1250 01:16:34,991 --> 01:16:37,026 IT DOESN'T MATTER WHO ELSE KNOWS. 1251 01:16:37,060 --> 01:16:38,662 SO, WHO'D YOU TELL? 1252 01:16:38,695 --> 01:16:40,897 HIM. 1253 01:16:43,432 --> 01:16:46,269 SAMMY-BOY, HOW'S IT SHAKING? 1254 01:16:47,336 --> 01:16:48,104 ABOUT THE SAME. 1255 01:16:48,137 --> 01:16:50,940 GOOD. WE STILL ON FOR FRIDAY NIGHT? 1256 01:16:50,974 --> 01:16:54,944 TOWN WITHOUT PITY'S PLAYING AT THE MOVIES. 1257 01:16:54,978 --> 01:16:55,845 HEY, YOU OUGHT TO BRING CHUCKETTE 1258 01:16:55,879 --> 01:16:58,214 AND MAYBE SATURDAY NIGHT WE'LL GO PARKING. 1259 01:16:58,247 --> 01:17:01,384 WELL, I DON'T KNOW. I'LL HAVE TO ASK CHUCKETTE. 1260 01:17:01,417 --> 01:17:04,153 HE'LL HAVE TO ASK CHUCKETTE. 1261 01:17:04,187 --> 01:17:05,221 THIS BOY GETS ANY FUNNIER, 1262 01:17:05,254 --> 01:17:07,791 THEY'RE GONNA PUT HIM ON TV. 1263 01:17:12,261 --> 01:17:14,898 HEY, HOW COME DOTHAN DIDN'T BEAT ME UP AT LUNCH TODAY? 1264 01:17:14,931 --> 01:17:18,034 HE'S AN UNDERSTANDING KIND OF GUY. 1265 01:17:18,067 --> 01:17:19,268 AND I SAID I'D BREAK UP WITH HIM 1266 01:17:19,302 --> 01:17:22,071 IF HE WAS MEAN TO YOU. 1267 01:17:23,439 --> 01:17:26,876 Sam: SPRING IN WYOMING LASTS ALL OF 2 WEEKS 1268 01:17:26,910 --> 01:17:31,214 AND IS MARKED BY MUD AND RAMPANT PREGNANCY. 1269 01:17:31,247 --> 01:17:33,182 WITH ALL OF NATURE KNOCKED UP, 1270 01:17:33,216 --> 01:17:35,318 MAUREY AND I FELT RIGHT AT HOME. 1271 01:17:35,351 --> 01:17:38,187 WE DISCOVERED THE BEST THING ABOUT BEING OSTRACIZED 1272 01:17:38,221 --> 01:17:43,192 BY AN ENTIRE TOWN IS THAT PEOPLE LEAVE YOU ALONE. 1273 01:17:44,327 --> 01:17:47,330 WITH HANK GONE, LYDIA WAS CRANKIER THAN USUAL, 1274 01:17:47,363 --> 01:17:53,837 AND THE RISING HEAT DIDN'T HELP MAUREY'S MOOD MUCH, EITHER. 1275 01:17:56,305 --> 01:17:58,775 SHE SAID BEING PREGNANT WAS WRETCHED, 1276 01:17:58,808 --> 01:18:00,343 BUT TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH, 1277 01:18:00,376 --> 01:18:02,278 IT DIDN'T BOTHER ME THAT MUCH. 1278 01:18:02,311 --> 01:18:05,314 I'M GOING FOR A BIKE RIDE. YOU WANNA COME? 1279 01:18:05,348 --> 01:18:07,717 SURE. 1280 01:18:22,498 --> 01:18:25,501 DO YOU BRUSH YOUR TEETH EVERY DAY? 1281 01:18:25,534 --> 01:18:27,270 YES, MOM. 1282 01:18:27,303 --> 01:18:31,240 AND USE A FRESH TOWEL AFTER EVERY SHOWER. 1283 01:18:31,274 --> 01:18:34,243 I WILL. 1284 01:18:36,179 --> 01:18:37,413 BYE. 1285 01:18:46,856 --> 01:18:50,359 Sam: I CAN'T BELIEVE WE HAVE TO BRING DOTHAN. 1286 01:18:51,560 --> 01:18:53,196 HE'S MY BOYFRIEND, SAM. 1287 01:18:53,229 --> 01:18:56,099 YOU BETTER BE NICE TO HIM. 1288 01:18:58,902 --> 01:19:00,236 WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR ARM? 1289 01:19:00,269 --> 01:19:01,470 MY DADDY BROKE IT. 1290 01:19:01,504 --> 01:19:05,441 WHY, FOR GOD'S SAKES, WOULD HE DO THAT? 1291 01:19:05,474 --> 01:19:07,210 'CAUSE I WAS MOUTHIN' OFF. 1292 01:19:07,243 --> 01:19:09,045 SO HE BROKE YOUR ARM? 1293 01:19:09,078 --> 01:19:12,548 I DESERVED IT. CAN WE JUST DROP IT? 1294 01:19:12,581 --> 01:19:15,852 DROPPED. 1295 01:19:20,323 --> 01:19:21,157 HOWDY, FOLKS. 1296 01:19:21,190 --> 01:19:23,392 YOU'RE GONNA BE GLAD YOU CAME OUT TODAY. 1297 01:19:23,426 --> 01:19:26,095 WE GOT A REAL GOOD RODEO FAIR HERE AT GROVONT. 1298 01:19:26,129 --> 01:19:29,332 RAINED A LITTLE EARLIER, SUN'S OUT NICE NOW. 1299 01:19:29,365 --> 01:19:33,336 MUD AND BLOOD IS WHAT RODEO'S ALL ABOUT. 1300 01:19:38,875 --> 01:19:41,344 Announcer: FOLKS, LET'S HAVE A BIG HAND FOR JOE BRANNIGAN. 1301 01:19:41,377 --> 01:19:44,213 A BIG HAND IS ALL HE'S GONNA WIN TODAY. 1302 01:19:44,247 --> 01:19:46,449 WHOO! WHOO! 1303 01:19:52,288 --> 01:19:53,056 THE TIMED MASTERY OF A HORSE 1304 01:19:53,089 --> 01:19:56,792 IS NOTHING MORE THAN COMPETITIVE SEX. 1305 01:19:56,993 --> 01:19:59,228 PROOF THAT MAN CAN SUBJUGATE ANYTHING WILD AND BEAUTIFUL 1306 01:19:59,262 --> 01:20:01,330 ONCE HE GETS IT BETWEEN HIS LEGS. 1307 01:20:01,364 --> 01:20:03,432 WHAT GETS ME IS THEY WANT A BELT BUCKLE 1308 01:20:03,466 --> 01:20:05,268 FOR LASTING 8 SECONDS. 1309 01:20:05,301 --> 01:20:07,270 OUR NEXT CONTESTANT IN THE BULLDOGGING COMPETITION 1310 01:20:07,303 --> 01:20:11,174 IS HANK ELKRUNNER FROM RIGHT HERE IN GROVONT. 1311 01:20:22,051 --> 01:20:23,352 Announcer: THAT 5.4-SECOND RIDE 1312 01:20:23,386 --> 01:20:25,989 PUTS HANK ELKRUNNER SQUARE IN THE LEAD. 1313 01:20:26,022 --> 01:20:28,224 I FAIL TO SEE HOW HURLING A DUMB ANIMAL TO THE EARTH 1314 01:20:28,257 --> 01:20:30,994 MAKES A MAN THE OBJECT OF MASS APPROVAL. 1315 01:20:31,027 --> 01:20:33,096 Announcer: THANK YOU KINDLY, HANK. 1316 01:20:33,129 --> 01:20:35,231 LOOKS LIKE A STUD TO ME. 1317 01:20:35,264 --> 01:20:37,300 Hank: THANKS, FOLKS. 1318 01:20:54,283 --> 01:20:55,518 Announcer: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, 1319 01:20:55,551 --> 01:20:57,353 IF YOU'LL JUST STAY CALM, 1320 01:20:57,386 --> 01:20:58,454 LET OUR COWBOYS GET IN THERE. 1321 01:20:58,487 --> 01:21:00,089 WE HAVE PROFESSIONALS ON THE SCENE. 1322 01:21:00,123 --> 01:21:01,925 Buddy: GIVE ME SOME HELP HERE. 1323 01:21:01,958 --> 01:21:03,226 GET SOMEBODY IN HERE. HE'S HURT. 1324 01:21:03,259 --> 01:21:05,995 I MIGHT OUGHT TO SEE ABOUT MOM. 1325 01:21:06,029 --> 01:21:07,596 I'LL GO WITH YOU. 1326 01:21:07,630 --> 01:21:10,399 Announcer: IT'S UNFORTUNATE THAT THESE THINGS HAPPEN... 1327 01:21:10,433 --> 01:21:12,235 COME ON! MOVE IT! EXCUSE ME. 1328 01:21:12,268 --> 01:21:14,570 Announcer: ...MEDICAL TEAMS ON STAFF OUT RIGHT HERE 1329 01:21:14,603 --> 01:21:16,072 AND THEY WILL TAKE CARE OF HIM. 1330 01:21:16,105 --> 01:21:18,074 WATCH HIM. EASY, EASY. 1331 01:21:18,107 --> 01:21:20,276 I'LL BE BACK IN A BIT. 1332 01:21:20,309 --> 01:21:23,379 Announcer: THANK YOU, FELLAS. HE'S GONNA BE FINE. 1333 01:21:28,451 --> 01:21:29,418 MAMA-- 1334 01:21:29,452 --> 01:21:32,155 HAVE TO CLEAN THE FLOOR BEFORE BUDDY COMES HOME 1335 01:21:32,188 --> 01:21:33,022 'CAUSE BUDDY WILL BE ANGRY. 1336 01:21:33,056 --> 01:21:35,391 MOM, IT'S OK. LEAVE THE FLOOR TO LATER. 1337 01:21:35,424 --> 01:21:40,163 NO, I CAN'T LEAVE ANY TRACKS IN THE LINOLEUM. 1338 01:21:44,667 --> 01:21:48,204 SHE'S NUTS. OUGHT TO BE LOCKED UP. 1339 01:21:48,237 --> 01:21:50,373 THIS IS YOUR FAULT. 1340 01:21:50,406 --> 01:21:52,308 NO MORE THAN YOU. 1341 01:21:52,341 --> 01:21:54,643 YOU! MY BABY! 1342 01:21:54,677 --> 01:21:56,212 YOU KILLED MY BABY! 1343 01:21:56,245 --> 01:21:58,047 WHAT'S SHE TALKING ABOUT? 1344 01:21:58,081 --> 01:22:00,216 BABY! KILLED MY BABY! 1345 01:22:00,249 --> 01:22:01,951 MOM, NO, IT'S OK. 1346 01:22:01,985 --> 01:22:04,220 NO! NO! MAMA-- 1347 01:22:04,253 --> 01:22:05,254 MOM! 1348 01:22:05,288 --> 01:22:07,723 Maurey: MAMA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 1349 01:22:07,756 --> 01:22:08,691 GET THIS OFF OF ME! 1350 01:22:08,724 --> 01:22:09,558 Announcer: ATTENTION, COWBOYS IN THE ARENA... 1351 01:22:09,592 --> 01:22:11,961 Woman: SHE'S HAVING A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN. 1352 01:22:11,995 --> 01:22:14,597 Maurey: PLEASE, WE NEED TO HELP HER. 1353 01:22:15,298 --> 01:22:16,432 Woman: SHE'S GONNA GET HURT OUT THERE. 1354 01:22:16,465 --> 01:22:18,601 Announcer: CAN WE GET SOME HELP IN FOR THE LADY, PLEASE? 1355 01:22:18,634 --> 01:22:21,237 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, EVERYTHING'LL BE JUST FINE. 1356 01:22:21,270 --> 01:22:25,441 JUST STAY IN THE STANDS AND LET THE COWBOY TAKE CARE OF IT. 1357 01:22:26,275 --> 01:22:28,978 THANK YOU, HANK. APPRECIATE IT. 1358 01:22:29,012 --> 01:22:30,213 NO! EASY, MA'AM. 1359 01:22:30,246 --> 01:22:31,114 NO, GET AWAY FROM ME! 1360 01:22:31,147 --> 01:22:33,082 GET AWAY FROM ME. 1361 01:22:33,116 --> 01:22:35,451 IT'S ALL RIGHT. 1362 01:22:37,520 --> 01:22:39,255 MAMA? 1363 01:22:41,124 --> 01:22:42,725 IT'S GONNA BE ALL RIGHT. 1364 01:22:50,133 --> 01:22:52,068 BUDDY WOULD STILL BE AT THE HOSPITAL. 1365 01:22:52,101 --> 01:22:56,439 WE'LL FOLLOW YOU OUT THERE IN CASE YOU NEED US. 1366 01:22:57,373 --> 01:23:01,344 PRIDE MEANS NOTHING IF YOU LOSE A GOOD MAN. 1367 01:23:01,377 --> 01:23:04,647 YEAH. 1368 01:23:27,336 --> 01:23:29,438 WILL SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME 1369 01:23:29,472 --> 01:23:31,307 WHAT ALL THIS PRIDE NONSENSE IS ABOUT? 1370 01:23:31,340 --> 01:23:35,311 LIFE'S TOO SHORT FOR ME TO WASTE ANY OF IT. 1371 01:23:36,845 --> 01:23:40,283 I'LL SEE YOU AROUND. 1372 01:23:47,156 --> 01:23:48,391 HEH. 1373 01:23:52,095 --> 01:23:53,396 Lydia: HEY! 1374 01:23:53,429 --> 01:23:54,130 YOU CAN'T GET AWAY FROM ME, 1375 01:23:54,163 --> 01:23:56,099 YOU RED-SKINNED SON OF A BITCH. 1376 01:23:56,132 --> 01:23:58,267 HEY, I'M TALKING TO YOU! 1377 01:23:58,301 --> 01:23:59,202 HEY! 1378 01:23:59,235 --> 01:24:00,803 YOU THINK SHE'LL GET HIM? 1379 01:24:00,836 --> 01:24:03,372 HANK DON'T STAND A CHANCE. 1380 01:24:03,406 --> 01:24:05,208 I'M YOUR SQUAW, DAMN IT! 1381 01:24:05,241 --> 01:24:09,478 HANK, YOU LISTEN TO ME! HANK! 1382 01:24:18,854 --> 01:24:22,325 Lydia: COME HERE, BABY. 1383 01:24:38,441 --> 01:24:44,380 WHAT--WHAT--OK! GERONIMO, BABY! 1384 01:25:19,948 --> 01:25:22,117 WEIRD. 1385 01:25:30,359 --> 01:25:33,729 YOU KNOW WHY WOMEN FAKE ORGASMS? 1386 01:25:33,762 --> 01:25:37,833 I DON'T GIVE A HOOT WHY WOMEN FAKE ORGASMS. 1387 01:25:37,866 --> 01:25:40,603 I'M NOT COMFORTABLE. 1388 01:25:40,636 --> 01:25:41,770 WOMEN FAKE ORGASMS-- 1389 01:25:41,804 --> 01:25:43,939 LISTEN TO THE BIRTHDAY GIRL. 1390 01:25:43,972 --> 01:25:45,608 WOMEN FAKE ORGASMS 1391 01:25:45,641 --> 01:25:48,277 BECAUSE MEN FAKE FOREPLAY. 1392 01:25:48,311 --> 01:25:50,179 HA HA HA HA! 1393 01:25:50,379 --> 01:25:53,316 YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES WHEN I HAVE A REAL ORGASM, 1394 01:25:53,349 --> 01:25:55,384 I TELL THE MAN THAT I FAKED IT 1395 01:25:55,418 --> 01:25:57,420 JUST SO HE DOESN'T GET COCKY. 1396 01:25:57,453 --> 01:25:59,588 I HATE COCKY MEN! 1397 01:25:59,622 --> 01:26:02,691 MY BABY'S GOING TO BE RAISED ON MARSHMALLOWS. 1398 01:26:02,725 --> 01:26:04,627 Lydia: WELL, I RAISED SAMMY ON DR PEPPER. 1399 01:26:04,660 --> 01:26:06,362 LOOK HOW HE TURNED OUT. 1400 01:26:06,395 --> 01:26:07,896 I TURNED OUT OK. 1401 01:26:07,930 --> 01:26:09,765 SAYS WHO? 1402 01:26:09,798 --> 01:26:13,202 AAH! WHOO! 1403 01:26:13,236 --> 01:26:17,306 AAH! AAH! GET HIM, HANK! 1404 01:26:18,341 --> 01:26:19,975 Delores: GET HIM, HANK! 1405 01:26:20,008 --> 01:26:22,478 GET HIS FEET, HANK. GET HIS FEET. 1406 01:26:22,511 --> 01:26:23,712 Lydia: DELORES... 1407 01:26:23,746 --> 01:26:25,648 SIT ON HIS FEET. 1408 01:26:25,681 --> 01:26:29,318 HANK, GET THE MARSHMALLOWS. YOU'RE DEAD! 1409 01:26:33,722 --> 01:26:35,724 PUT THE MARSHMALLOWS IN HIS EAR! 1410 01:26:35,758 --> 01:26:37,426 Delores: SAY UNCLE. SAY UNCLE! 1411 01:26:37,460 --> 01:26:38,427 NO! 1412 01:26:38,461 --> 01:26:40,996 HI-HO, SILVER, AWAY! 1413 01:26:41,029 --> 01:26:42,531 DELORES. 1414 01:26:44,767 --> 01:26:46,769 Delores: UH-OH. 1415 01:26:48,504 --> 01:26:50,273 GET UP, SAM. 1416 01:26:51,440 --> 01:26:53,776 I SAID GET UP ON YOUR FEET. 1417 01:26:54,377 --> 01:26:57,446 SAMUEL, GET ON YOUR FEET. 1418 01:26:58,447 --> 01:27:00,549 THIS IS YOUR SUNDAY UNIFORM 1419 01:27:00,583 --> 01:27:02,285 AT THE CUSTER MILITARY ACADEMY. 1420 01:27:02,318 --> 01:27:08,391 AS SOON AS YOU CLEAR THAT MUCKY GUNK OUT OF YOUR EAR, 1421 01:27:08,424 --> 01:27:10,326 YOU'LL GO IN THE HOUSE AND PUT IT ON. 1422 01:27:10,359 --> 01:27:12,395 DADDY. BE SILENT, GIRL. 1423 01:27:12,428 --> 01:27:14,363 WE ARE GOING HOME NOW. 1424 01:27:14,397 --> 01:27:16,599 WE WILL PLACE SAMUEL AT CUSTER, 1425 01:27:16,632 --> 01:27:19,635 AND THEN YOU AND I WILL PROCEED ONTO GREENSBORO. 1426 01:27:19,668 --> 01:27:22,338 WAIT A SECOND. WE CAN'T GO HOME. 1427 01:27:22,371 --> 01:27:23,772 WE'RE HAVING A BABY. 1428 01:27:23,806 --> 01:27:26,842 WELL, I'M SURE THAT LITTLE GIRL 1429 01:27:26,875 --> 01:27:28,444 HAS A MOTHER OF HER OWN. 1430 01:27:28,477 --> 01:27:30,546 MY MOTHER'S IN THE NUTHOUSE. 1431 01:27:30,579 --> 01:27:32,348 BE THAT AS IT MAY, 1432 01:27:32,381 --> 01:27:34,683 YOU MADE YOUR BED, NOW YOU MUST LIE IN IT. 1433 01:27:34,717 --> 01:27:38,020 I WILL NOT STAND BY AND SEE MY GRANDSON 1434 01:27:38,053 --> 01:27:39,455 SNARED BY A SPIDER. 1435 01:27:39,488 --> 01:27:41,324 MAUREY IS NOT A SPIDER. 1436 01:27:41,357 --> 01:27:42,625 I TOLD YOU TO BE SILENT. 1437 01:27:42,658 --> 01:27:44,059 WELL, I WON'T. YOU JUST CAN'T 1438 01:27:44,092 --> 01:27:45,294 COME IN HERE AND RUIN EVERYTHING. 1439 01:27:45,328 --> 01:27:46,495 THIS IS OUR HOME NOW. 1440 01:27:46,529 --> 01:27:48,431 THESE PEOPLE ARE OUR FAMILY. 1441 01:27:48,464 --> 01:27:50,999 FAMILY. HA HA! 1442 01:27:51,033 --> 01:27:52,668 A FLOOZY, A KIOWA, 1443 01:27:52,701 --> 01:27:55,438 AND A VERY PREGNANT LITTLE GIRL. 1444 01:27:55,471 --> 01:27:57,640 TELL ME, WHICH MEMBER OF YOUR NEW FAMILY 1445 01:27:57,673 --> 01:28:00,343 IS GOING TO PAY NEXT MONTH'S RENT? 1446 01:28:00,376 --> 01:28:02,345 BLACKFEET. 1447 01:28:04,747 --> 01:28:08,484 JUST EXACTLY WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN? 1448 01:28:08,517 --> 01:28:11,687 Hank: I'M BLACKFEET, NOT KIOWA. 1449 01:28:11,720 --> 01:28:15,090 I UNDERSTAND YOU LIVE IN A ONE-ROOM TRAILER. 1450 01:28:15,123 --> 01:28:17,926 DO YOU THINK SHE'S GONNA LIKE LIVING THERE 1451 01:28:17,960 --> 01:28:19,595 AND CARRYING YOUR PAPOOSES? 1452 01:28:19,628 --> 01:28:22,531 DADDY, YOU ARE SUCH AN ASSHOLE. 1453 01:28:22,565 --> 01:28:23,766 WELL, THAT COULD BE. 1454 01:28:23,799 --> 01:28:24,933 WHEN YOU GET TO THE POINT 1455 01:28:24,967 --> 01:28:26,835 WHERE YOU CAN PAY YOUR WAY IN LIFE, 1456 01:28:26,869 --> 01:28:28,471 YOU CAN LIVE ANYWHERE YOU WANT 1457 01:28:28,504 --> 01:28:31,374 AND IN ANY DISGUSTING MANNER YOU WANT. 1458 01:28:31,407 --> 01:28:33,776 BUT AS LONG AS I'M PAYING THE BILLS, 1459 01:28:33,809 --> 01:28:35,644 YOU WILL DO AS I DICTATE. 1460 01:28:35,678 --> 01:28:37,646 IS THAT UNDERSTOOD? 1461 01:28:37,680 --> 01:28:40,483 GO INSIDE AND PUT YOUR UNIFORM ON. 1462 01:28:40,516 --> 01:28:44,887 SON, YOU DON'T HAVE A LOT TO SAY ABOUT IT. 1463 01:29:05,608 --> 01:29:07,443 Sam: I DECIDED LIFE WAS A GYP. 1464 01:29:07,476 --> 01:29:11,079 WHY COULDN'T PEOPLE JUST DO WHAT I WANTED? 1465 01:29:13,081 --> 01:29:15,017 MAUREY WASN'T IN LOVE WITH ME. 1466 01:29:15,050 --> 01:29:16,452 NOT IN THE RIGHT WAY. 1467 01:29:16,485 --> 01:29:20,022 IF WE WERE IN LOVE LIKE ROMEO AND JULIET, 1468 01:29:20,055 --> 01:29:21,490 WE COULD FIGHT CASPAR. 1469 01:29:21,524 --> 01:29:22,758 WE COULD FLEE INTO THE MOUNTAINS 1470 01:29:22,791 --> 01:29:25,894 OR CHAIN OURSELVES TO A ROCK. 1471 01:29:25,928 --> 01:29:27,396 ROMEO AND JULIET WERE 14, 1472 01:29:27,430 --> 01:29:30,399 AND NO ONE TREATED THEM LIKE CHILDREN. 1473 01:29:30,433 --> 01:29:33,936 BUT, OF COURSE, THEY DIED AT THE END. 1474 01:29:37,005 --> 01:29:40,543 HEY. HOW'D YOU GET HERE FROM TOWN? 1475 01:29:40,576 --> 01:29:42,044 HANK BROUGHT ME. 1476 01:29:42,077 --> 01:29:43,946 HE'S AT THE RANCH TALKING TO DAD. 1477 01:29:43,979 --> 01:29:47,616 YOUR GRANDFATHER ISN'T HAPPY WITH YOU. 1478 01:29:47,650 --> 01:29:51,186 I'LL NEVER PUT ON THAT UNIFORM. NEVER! 1479 01:29:51,219 --> 01:29:52,287 YES, YOU WILL. 1480 01:29:52,320 --> 01:29:56,124 YOU AND LYDIA ARE BOTH HOPELESS, AND WE ALL KNOW IT. 1481 01:29:56,158 --> 01:30:00,162 I WON'T LEAVE YOU AND THE BABY. 1482 01:30:00,195 --> 01:30:01,063 I'LL HIDE IN THE MOUNTAINS 1483 01:30:01,096 --> 01:30:04,733 AND LIVE ON BUSHES AND FROGS IF I HAVE TO. 1484 01:30:04,767 --> 01:30:06,569 WE MADE A MISTAKE. 1485 01:30:06,602 --> 01:30:10,172 THIS BABY'S COMING WHETHER ANYBODY'S READY OR NOT. 1486 01:30:13,008 --> 01:30:17,112 DON'T BE SAD, SAM. 1487 01:30:17,145 --> 01:30:20,148 NO MATTER HOW BAD EVERYTHING IS, 1488 01:30:20,182 --> 01:30:22,184 YOU AND I WILL HAVE A BABY. 1489 01:30:22,217 --> 01:30:27,556 YOU'LL BE 18 IN 4 YEARS. THEN YOU CAN COME BACK. 1490 01:30:31,026 --> 01:30:33,161 COME ON. 1491 01:30:33,195 --> 01:30:35,964 COME ON. WILL YOU-- 1492 01:30:36,865 --> 01:30:38,467 Sam: I'M GONNA GET YOU. Maurey: NO, NO! 1493 01:30:38,501 --> 01:30:40,969 YOU'RE GOING IN THE WATER. 1494 01:30:42,204 --> 01:30:44,507 SAM? ARE YOU OK? 1495 01:30:44,540 --> 01:30:47,510 I JUST FELT THE BABY. 1496 01:30:51,279 --> 01:30:53,849 P.A.: DR. JENKINS TO LABOR AND DELIVERY. 1497 01:30:53,882 --> 01:30:57,986 DR. JENKINS TO LABOR AND DELIVERY, PLEASE. 1498 01:31:00,923 --> 01:31:03,492 CONGRATULATIONS, MR. PIERCE. 1499 01:31:03,526 --> 01:31:05,093 YOU'RE A GRANDFATHER. 1500 01:31:05,127 --> 01:31:05,994 ALL RIGHT. 1501 01:31:06,028 --> 01:31:07,730 WELL, WHAT ABOUT ME? 1502 01:31:13,068 --> 01:31:16,138 YOU HAVE A DAUGHTER. 1503 01:31:35,991 --> 01:31:38,561 HER NAME IS SHANNON. 1504 01:31:38,594 --> 01:31:41,029 THAT'S PRETTY. 1505 01:31:41,063 --> 01:31:44,199 CAN I TOUCH HER? 1506 01:31:44,232 --> 01:31:46,569 OK, BUT BE GENTLE. BABIES AREN'T FOOTBALLS. 1507 01:31:46,602 --> 01:31:50,573 YEAH, THEY DON'T TRAVEL AS FAR WHEN YOU KICK 'EM. 1508 01:31:51,106 --> 01:31:53,041 THAT'S NOT FUNNY, SAM. 1509 01:32:05,320 --> 01:32:11,193 I HOPE SHE GROWS UP TO HAVE MY LOOKS AND DAD'S BRAINS. 1510 01:32:11,226 --> 01:32:13,562 WELL, WHAT ABOUT ME? 1511 01:32:14,029 --> 01:32:15,931 SHE'LL HAVE YOUR HEART. 1512 01:32:16,364 --> 01:32:20,636 IT'S HARD TO SEE HOW GOO ON A SOCK CAN LEAD TO THIS. 1513 01:32:21,203 --> 01:32:24,239 PRETTY COOL, HUH? 1514 01:32:24,272 --> 01:32:25,574 YEAH. 1515 01:32:42,257 --> 01:32:44,092 I WANNA GO HOME. 1516 01:32:44,126 --> 01:32:46,028 AFTER WE EAT. 1517 01:32:47,930 --> 01:32:49,798 WHOA, I CAN'T GO IN THERE. 1518 01:32:49,832 --> 01:32:51,700 MY GRANDFATHER WILL KIDNAP ME. 1519 01:32:51,734 --> 01:32:54,269 YOUR GRANDFATHER WILL NOT KIDNAP YOU. 1520 01:32:54,302 --> 01:32:58,641 YEAH, HE'LL TAKE ME STRAIGHT TO CUSTER MILITARY ACADEMY. 1521 01:32:58,674 --> 01:33:00,809 I WON'T LET HIM. 1522 01:33:02,344 --> 01:33:04,279 COME ON. 1523 01:33:06,715 --> 01:33:09,284 Caspar: HI, SAM. 1524 01:33:16,759 --> 01:33:19,394 SO, WHAT'D SHE NAME THE BABY? 1525 01:33:19,427 --> 01:33:21,229 SHANNON. 1526 01:33:21,263 --> 01:33:22,665 OH, MY GOD. 1527 01:33:22,698 --> 01:33:24,099 THAT'LL NEVER DO. 1528 01:33:24,132 --> 01:33:26,268 MY BABY'S NAME IS SHANNON. 1529 01:33:26,301 --> 01:33:28,236 WHO DO I HAVE TO FUCK IN THIS JOINT 1530 01:33:28,270 --> 01:33:29,705 TO GET A CUP OF COFFEE? 1531 01:33:29,738 --> 01:33:33,208 AH, KEEP YOUR PANTS ZIPPED, JACK. 1532 01:33:34,009 --> 01:33:34,910 MOM? 1533 01:33:34,943 --> 01:33:36,211 MUTUAL TRUST AND RESPECT, SAM. 1534 01:33:36,244 --> 01:33:38,814 ALWAYS REMEMBER WHAT OUR RELATIONSHIP IS BASED ON. 1535 01:33:38,847 --> 01:33:42,050 I MAY HAVE A GRANDDAUGHTER, BUT I'M NOT 30 YET. 1536 01:33:42,084 --> 01:33:45,153 WELL, YOU CAN'T WORK HERE, LYDIA. 1537 01:33:45,187 --> 01:33:46,221 WATCH ME. 1538 01:33:46,254 --> 01:33:48,356 SHE WON'T LAST A MONTH. 1539 01:33:48,390 --> 01:33:50,392 THE FIRST TIME SHE BREAKS A FINGERNAIL, 1540 01:33:50,425 --> 01:33:52,360 SHE'LL BE COMING HOME TO DADDY. 1541 01:33:52,394 --> 01:33:55,297 FAT CHANCE, DADDY. 1542 01:33:55,330 --> 01:33:57,866 SO DOES THIS MEAN I DON'T HAVE TO GO TO CUSTER? 1543 01:33:57,900 --> 01:34:00,235 THAT'S RIGHT. AS LONG AS WE PAY OUR OWN WAY, 1544 01:34:00,268 --> 01:34:02,671 THE OLD GOAT CAN'T FORCE US ANYWHERE. 1545 01:34:02,705 --> 01:34:05,808 SHE'LL NEVER MAKE THE RENT ON TIPS. 1546 01:34:05,841 --> 01:34:06,508 WELL, DOT DOES. 1547 01:34:06,541 --> 01:34:07,342 Hank: AND I'M MOVING IN, TOO. 1548 01:34:07,375 --> 01:34:09,211 SELLING MY TRAILER AND COMING TO TOWN. 1549 01:34:09,244 --> 01:34:11,980 MAUREY'S FAMILY WILL HELP PAY ON RENT. 1550 01:34:12,014 --> 01:34:13,315 MAUREY'S MOVING IN? 1551 01:34:13,348 --> 01:34:16,685 WELL, PART-TIME WHILE BUDDY'S UP AT THE RANCH. 1552 01:34:16,719 --> 01:34:18,954 NOW, WHAT CAN I GET YOU FELLAS? 1553 01:34:18,987 --> 01:34:23,291 I DON'T HAVE ALL DAY TO CHIT-CHAT WITH THE RABBLE. 1554 01:34:45,881 --> 01:34:50,152 SAM CALLAHAN, I WANNA HAVE YOUR BABY. 1555 01:34:50,185 --> 01:34:52,254 WE ALL WANNA HAVE YOUR BABY. 1556 01:34:52,287 --> 01:34:56,358 WE WANT YOU TO BE THE DAD OF A NEW GENERATION. 1557 01:34:56,391 --> 01:34:58,727 I'M SORRY. 1558 01:34:58,761 --> 01:35:00,395 I WOULD LOVE TO FATHER YOUR CHILD, 1559 01:35:00,428 --> 01:35:03,498 BUT MY HEART BELONGS TO MY TRUE LOVE. 1560 01:35:03,531 --> 01:35:05,934 IT'S JUST NOT PROPER TO HAVE BABIES 1561 01:35:05,968 --> 01:35:07,302 BY MORE THAN ONE GIRL AT A TIME. 1562 01:35:07,335 --> 01:35:10,338 YOU'VE BROKEN MY HEART. 1563 01:35:10,372 --> 01:35:13,809 BE STRONG. SOMEDAY YOU WILL UNDERSTAND 1564 01:35:13,842 --> 01:35:18,380 THE THEORY OF ONE MAN, ONE BABY. 1565 01:35:27,289 --> 01:35:28,290 I'M GOING INTO GREEN RIVER 1566 01:35:28,323 --> 01:35:29,191 AFTER CHEERLEADING PRACTICE, 1567 01:35:29,224 --> 01:35:31,359 SO YOU'LL HAVE TO HANDLE THE 6:00 FEEDING. 1568 01:35:31,393 --> 01:35:34,462 WELL, I'M THE FATHER, NOT THE BABY-SITTER. 1569 01:35:34,496 --> 01:35:36,765 SAME DIFFERENCE. 1570 01:35:36,799 --> 01:35:41,336 NOW, BE A GOOD BABY. 1571 01:35:42,304 --> 01:35:44,239 LYDIA'LL HELP YOU IF YOU NEED ANYTHING. 1572 01:35:44,272 --> 01:35:47,910 I WON'T NEED LYDIA. 1573 01:35:50,345 --> 01:35:52,180 BYE. Maurey: BYE, SAM. 1574 01:35:56,885 --> 01:35:58,486 Sam: THE FUTURE LAY BEFORE SAM 1575 01:35:58,520 --> 01:36:00,889 LIKE THE GREAT AMERICAN NOVEL 1576 01:36:00,923 --> 01:36:02,290 JUST WAITING TO BE WRITTEN. 1577 01:36:02,324 --> 01:36:06,194 LYDIA WOULD MARRY HANK AND JOIN THE WELCOME WAGON. 1578 01:36:06,228 --> 01:36:07,162 MAUREY WOULD GROW TO LOVE SAM 1579 01:36:07,195 --> 01:36:11,133 THE WAY MOTHERS ARE SUPPOSED TO LOVE FATHERS. 1580 01:36:11,166 --> 01:36:12,000 SHANNON WOULD GROW UP 1581 01:36:12,034 --> 01:36:15,170 TO BE BEAUTIFUL, TALENTED, AND VIRGINAL. 1582 01:36:15,203 --> 01:36:18,506 SAM KNEW THE TRAIL AHEAD WOULD BE LONG, STEEP, 1583 01:36:18,540 --> 01:36:21,276 AND LITTERED WITH HORSE MANURE, 1584 01:36:21,309 --> 01:36:23,078 BUT HE WAS READY NOW, 1585 01:36:23,111 --> 01:36:24,312 'CAUSE SOMEHOW, SOME WAY, 1586 01:36:24,346 --> 01:36:28,050 THE WAITRESS, THE INDIAN, THE CHEERLEADER, 1587 01:36:28,083 --> 01:36:31,319 AND THE 15-YEAR-OLD FATHER WOULD SURVIVE. 1588 01:36:31,353 --> 01:36:35,490 THEY WERE THE MODERN AMERICAN FAMILY. 1589 01:36:41,563 --> 01:36:43,932 CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY LIONS GATE FILMS 1590 01:36:43,966 --> 01:36:48,937 CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE --www.ncicap.org-- 1591 01:36:49,371 --> 01:36:50,906 * DO THE MANTA RAY 1592 01:36:50,939 --> 01:36:51,806 * DO THE SQUID 1593 01:36:51,840 --> 01:36:55,277 * OOH, YEAH, BABY, LIKE I KNEW YOU DID * 1594 01:36:55,310 --> 01:36:57,379 * DO THE LOBSTER, BABY 1595 01:36:57,412 --> 01:36:58,280 * DO THE EEL 1596 01:36:58,313 --> 01:37:01,349 * OH, YEAH, BABY, I LIKE HOW THAT FEELS * 1597 01:37:01,383 --> 01:37:04,219 * YAHOO, SWIM LIKE THAT 1598 01:37:04,252 --> 01:37:07,489 * YAHOO, CHECK HER FINS OUT * 1599 01:37:07,522 --> 01:37:10,392 * YAHOO, GET ON YOUR MARK 1600 01:37:10,425 --> 01:37:15,430 * YAHOO, LET'S DO THE SHARK * 1601 01:37:19,935 --> 01:37:22,938 * YAHOO, DO IT NOW 1602 01:37:22,971 --> 01:37:26,008 * YAHOO, CHECK MY FINS OUT * 1603 01:37:26,041 --> 01:37:28,944 * YAHOO, GET ON YOUR MARK 1604 01:37:28,977 --> 01:37:33,315 * YAHOO, LET'S DO THE SHARK * 1605 01:37:38,353 --> 01:37:41,223 * YAHOO, SWIM IT NOW 1606 01:37:41,256 --> 01:37:44,259 * YAHOO, CHECK HER FINS OUT * 1607 01:37:44,292 --> 01:37:47,262 * YAHOO, GET ON YOUR MARK 1608 01:37:47,295 --> 01:37:52,334 * YAHOO, LET'S DO THE SHARK * 1609 01:37:52,367 --> 01:37:54,269 * AHH 1610 01:37:54,302 --> 01:37:57,539 * OOH 1611 01:38:00,142 --> 01:38:03,211 * YAHOO 1612 01:38:03,245 --> 01:38:06,281 * YAHOO 1613 01:38:06,314 --> 01:38:09,251 * YAHOO 1614 01:38:09,284 --> 01:38:13,521 * YAHOO 1615 01:38:18,626 --> 01:38:19,995 * DO THE MANTA RAY 1616 01:38:20,028 --> 01:38:21,396 * DO THE PIKE 1617 01:38:21,429 --> 01:38:24,499 * NOW THAT'S WHAT THIS SHOULD FEEL LIKE * 1618 01:38:24,532 --> 01:38:27,469 * YAHOO 1619 01:38:27,502 --> 01:38:30,505 * YAHOO 1620 01:38:30,538 --> 01:38:34,076 * YAHOO 1621 01:38:34,109 --> 01:38:36,044 * AHH 1622 01:38:36,078 --> 01:38:38,613 * OOH 1623 01:38:46,388 --> 01:38:47,489 * DO THE SWORDFISH 1624 01:38:47,522 --> 01:38:49,124 * MY HEART DON'T MISS 1625 01:38:49,157 --> 01:38:50,492 * SWIMMING IN THE SEA 1626 01:38:50,525 --> 01:38:52,260 * JUST YOU AND ME 1627 01:38:52,294 --> 01:38:53,661 * YAHOO 1628 01:38:53,695 --> 01:38:55,297 * YAHOO 1629 01:38:55,330 --> 01:38:57,199 * YAHOO 1630 01:38:57,232 --> 01:38:59,234 * YAHOO 105851