All language subtitles for Little Black Mirror [1] The Sum of Happiness

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:40,540 --> 00:00:42,500 - Did you sleep well? - Yeah. 2 00:00:43,320 --> 00:00:44,700 Short, but well. 3 00:00:44,860 --> 00:00:45,980 Just like me. 4 00:00:46,400 --> 00:00:48,023 Fortunately, the weekend is coming. 5 00:00:48,023 --> 00:00:49,600 How about we sleep through it all? 6 00:00:49,940 --> 00:00:52,260 - You're kidding? - Okay, we'll take a break to eat. 7 00:00:52,260 --> 00:00:54,100 - But we'll order, no cooking. 8 00:00:54,640 --> 00:00:55,700 - You really don't remember? 9 00:00:56,120 --> 00:00:58,420 - Do we have plans? - Yeah. 10 00:00:58,980 --> 00:01:01,180 But I really wanted to get some rest. 11 00:01:01,620 --> 00:01:03,680 - We talked about this, right? - About what? 12 00:01:04,720 --> 00:01:07,520 The premiere of my sister's play. 13 00:01:07,780 --> 00:01:10,680 Jesus, right, I forgot. Sorry, you're right. 14 00:01:10,680 --> 00:01:13,420 - Why do you always have to be like that? - Like what? 15 00:01:13,820 --> 00:01:16,860 - So facetious. - Come on. 16 00:01:16,860 --> 00:01:20,180 - I forgot, you reminded me, it's all good. - "It's all good". Great. As always. 17 00:01:21,160 --> 00:01:23,880 Listen, it's really difficult for me to handle everything. 18 00:01:23,880 --> 00:01:25,680 I work a lot, can't even find my head. 19 00:01:28,820 --> 00:01:29,820 There it is. 20 00:01:30,280 --> 00:01:32,400 - You used to care more about me, you know? 21 00:01:32,600 --> 00:01:34,300 Did I say we're not going? 22 00:01:34,300 --> 00:01:35,840 I just didn't know you care about this so much. 23 00:01:35,840 --> 00:01:38,840 - We've talked about this! 24 00:01:38,840 --> 00:01:40,880 It's very important for me. And for my sister. 25 00:01:41,040 --> 00:01:43,900 It's because of shit like this I feel like you never listen to me. 26 00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:49,820 Or you don't understand me. 27 00:01:51,140 --> 00:01:52,340 Don't even know what's worse. 28 00:01:56,760 --> 00:02:01,200 THE SUM OF HAPPINESS 29 00:02:51,780 --> 00:02:52,780 And? 30 00:02:53,640 --> 00:02:54,640 What? 31 00:02:55,440 --> 00:03:00,120 Look how I cleaned the place up. 32 00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:01,400 All for my kitty. 33 00:03:01,640 --> 00:03:02,680 Oh, yeah. Great. 34 00:03:04,060 --> 00:03:07,520 I have to make one more call and start preparing. 35 00:03:07,780 --> 00:03:08,520 Preparing? 36 00:03:08,960 --> 00:03:10,540 Dinner with the board? 37 00:03:11,900 --> 00:03:14,000 You forgot again? 38 00:03:14,220 --> 00:03:17,900 No, of course I remember. 39 00:03:17,940 --> 00:03:18,940 Great. 40 00:03:20,100 --> 00:03:23,200 Hey, it's me. I prepared the evaluation... 41 00:03:36,580 --> 00:03:37,460 Honey? 42 00:03:37,720 --> 00:03:41,320 Did you see my earring? Looked like this? 43 00:03:41,700 --> 00:03:43,580 I left both on the counter and one's missing. 44 00:03:44,040 --> 00:03:46,320 No, haven't seen them at all. 45 00:03:46,660 --> 00:03:49,100 - You didn't move them while cleaning? 46 00:03:49,100 --> 00:03:51,040 - No, I only vacuumed. 47 00:03:51,040 --> 00:03:55,960 Maybe you sucked it in, maybe it fell somewhere? Things don't go missing just like that. 48 00:03:55,960 --> 00:03:58,960 I don't know. Maybe there is a chance 49 00:03:58,980 --> 00:04:02,020 that it fell down while I vacuumed. Check by the bed. 50 00:04:02,020 --> 00:04:03,340 I checked! 51 00:04:03,660 --> 00:04:07,660 , I'm not stupid. Under, behind, on the bed.... 52 00:04:07,680 --> 00:04:11,240 Is that a problem? Will they fire you if you don't were these specific earrings? 53 00:04:11,400 --> 00:04:17,020 I come back from work, clean our place spotless for you, and what do I get? 54 00:04:17,540 --> 00:04:19,920 But I didn't need this today! 55 00:04:20,100 --> 00:04:23,680 I have an important meeting and have to calmly prepare for it! I told you! 56 00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:25,520 Would've been better if you did nothing at all! 57 00:04:31,760 --> 00:04:36,140 "Three days on the couch". Nice, dude. 58 00:04:36,880 --> 00:04:39,580 - Come on. - Your couch must be really comfy, huh? 59 00:04:40,720 --> 00:04:44,080 So what? You'll be waiting for an apology? 60 00:04:44,680 --> 00:04:45,520 I don't know. 61 00:04:46,360 --> 00:04:49,440 That's just how life is. 62 00:04:50,500 --> 00:04:52,340 But I really care about her. 63 00:04:53,740 --> 00:04:56,420 I don't do anything - it's bad. I do something - it's even worse. 64 00:04:56,420 --> 00:04:59,440 I'd like to be smart here, but... 65 00:04:59,440 --> 00:05:00,220 That's life. 66 00:05:00,860 --> 00:05:03,420 A true story for you. I have this friend 67 00:05:03,880 --> 00:05:06,680 who almost went deaf from his girlfriends' screams. Really. 68 00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:08,480 He did lose some hearing. 69 00:05:08,800 --> 00:05:12,280 Her screams caused some weird vibrations his ears didn't tolerate. 70 00:05:12,280 --> 00:05:15,720 He went to the doctor, and what did he say? "You need a hearing aid!" 71 00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:19,680 So he gave him the hearing aid and recommended couple's therapy. 72 00:05:19,980 --> 00:05:21,660 - Did it help? - What, the aid? 73 00:05:21,800 --> 00:05:22,440 No, therapy. 74 00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:25,180 Nah, I don't think they even went. 75 00:05:25,400 --> 00:05:28,700 But they're happy. Sure, they argue, but they're happy. 76 00:05:28,760 --> 00:05:30,340 - Do you know why? - Why? 77 00:05:30,700 --> 00:05:33,300 Cause when she yells, he just turns it down. 78 00:05:34,280 --> 00:05:36,820 I appreciate you trying to improve my mood 79 00:05:36,820 --> 00:05:38,040 Always, man. 80 00:05:38,260 --> 00:05:39,780 Are you seriously considering counselling? 81 00:05:39,980 --> 00:05:43,580 - I don't know what to do. - Oh, come on. 82 00:05:43,740 --> 00:05:46,080 I wouldn't want for anyone to tell me how to live. 83 00:05:46,240 --> 00:05:51,400 Shrinks are like car bobblehead dogs, always nodding. 84 00:05:52,360 --> 00:05:56,400 An hour passes and what? You're down 150 zloty. 85 00:05:57,080 --> 00:06:02,100 But if you really need help, I read this really interesting piece recently. 86 00:06:03,980 --> 00:06:09,000 This company came up with a fantastic relationship app. 87 00:06:09,300 --> 00:06:11,060 "Relationship app"? 88 00:06:11,280 --> 00:06:13,620 It's supposed to be amazing. 89 00:06:13,880 --> 00:06:15,960 Isn't it dangerous, though? 90 00:06:16,160 --> 00:06:18,140 Everyone's getting implants these days. 91 00:06:18,980 --> 00:06:19,880 I'll find it for you. 92 00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:23,660 - Got it. - Can you send it? 93 00:06:23,880 --> 00:06:27,020 - There you go. - Got it, thanks. 94 00:06:27,660 --> 00:06:31,580 Oh, man! The new AR is coming out tomorrow! 95 00:06:31,960 --> 00:06:35,380 50 thousand people playing on one map! 96 00:06:35,620 --> 00:06:37,740 Have you seen the trailer? Looks spectacular. 97 00:06:43,300 --> 00:06:46,060 - Nice to meet you, sir. - Good afternoon. 98 00:06:46,300 --> 00:06:50,140 My experience clearly tells me 99 00:06:50,560 --> 00:06:53,560 that our services are chosen only by those 100 00:06:53,560 --> 00:06:55,800 who know exactly what they want from life. 101 00:06:55,800 --> 00:06:58,060 But since we're professional physicians 102 00:06:58,240 --> 00:07:00,760 we have to always be 100% sure. 103 00:07:01,040 --> 00:07:04,420 - Which is why I have to ask you a few questions. - Go ahead. 104 00:07:04,780 --> 00:07:07,500 What led you to make this decision 105 00:07:07,880 --> 00:07:12,460 and are you aware how our therapeutic app actually works? 106 00:07:14,160 --> 00:07:16,920 I only know what I've read in the paper. 107 00:07:17,080 --> 00:07:23,840 I'd like to learn the do's and don'ts of my relationship, 108 00:07:24,100 --> 00:07:28,300 and your app is supposed to help with that. 109 00:07:28,660 --> 00:07:30,520 Indeed. After calibration, 110 00:07:30,520 --> 00:07:35,960 the app will analyze the object of your affection 111 00:07:36,640 --> 00:07:43,500 and help you to make the correct decisions, based on behavioral data gathered in real time. 112 00:07:45,440 --> 00:07:48,560 I only want her to be happy. 113 00:07:48,840 --> 00:07:52,860 That's the one thing I can actually guarantee. 114 00:07:56,460 --> 00:07:59,540 Our therapy boasts a 100% success rate in improving 115 00:07:59,540 --> 00:08:02,520 the objective sum of relationship happiness. 116 00:08:03,680 --> 00:08:06,280 Is there anything I should pay attention to? 117 00:08:06,560 --> 00:08:10,060 Any tips for a future user? 118 00:08:10,640 --> 00:08:12,120 Just one... 119 00:08:12,940 --> 00:08:14,860 don't be afraid. 120 00:08:15,740 --> 00:08:18,360 Our application is merely a tool, 121 00:08:18,360 --> 00:08:21,280 just like thousands of other pieces of software. 122 00:08:21,280 --> 00:08:28,280 It's designed for the sole purpose of making your partner's life more pleasant. 123 00:08:28,520 --> 00:08:30,200 And as a consequence - your life as well. 124 00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:33,620 Since her happiness is your happiness. 125 00:08:33,840 --> 00:08:34,960 Any questions? 126 00:08:35,059 --> 00:08:37,059 - No. - Then let's get to work. 127 00:08:45,260 --> 00:08:47,460 - Hi. - You're home late. 128 00:08:48,280 --> 00:08:51,440 Object of affection localized. Starting analysis. 129 00:08:55,200 --> 00:09:01,060 Hunger level exceeds normal levels. This causes a 77% chance of irritation. 130 00:09:01,360 --> 00:09:03,740 I'm sorry. Work. 131 00:09:05,180 --> 00:09:07,880 I'm starving, do you wanna eat something? 132 00:09:08,200 --> 00:09:11,720 I could go to the store and prepare a quick dish for you. 133 00:09:12,020 --> 00:09:13,620 - Really? - Yeah. 134 00:09:14,500 --> 00:09:16,820 I actually didn't have time to eat lunch. 135 00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:20,820 - Any preferences? - I don't know. Think of something. 136 00:09:21,100 --> 00:09:23,180 Evaluationg potential options. 137 00:09:23,560 --> 00:09:27,040 Recommended choice no. 1: tagiatelle with mushrooms. 138 00:09:27,100 --> 00:09:30,980 It has a 97% chance of satisfying hunger 139 00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:34,340 and an 83% chance of improving the object's mood. 140 00:09:34,640 --> 00:09:39,240 Don't worry, I'll think of something. Be right back. 141 00:09:46,800 --> 00:09:47,800 And? 142 00:09:49,840 --> 00:09:51,540 It's actually really good. 143 00:09:51,900 --> 00:09:54,420 Satisfaction level raised by 6%. 144 00:09:54,680 --> 00:09:56,180 I knew you'd like it. 145 00:09:57,040 --> 00:09:59,820 Oh yeah? How? 146 00:10:00,440 --> 00:10:03,520 Suggested response: referencing shared experiences. 147 00:10:04,560 --> 00:10:08,620 Remember how our car broke down in Italy, three years ago? 148 00:10:08,980 --> 00:10:12,300 - I do. - There was this little quaint restaurant 149 00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:16,780 where they had all kinds of pasta and you wanted tagiatelle with mushrooms. 150 00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:20,740 - But they didn't have the tagiatelle. - It's amazing you remember such details. 151 00:10:21,500 --> 00:10:24,580 The conversation raised the level of trust. 152 00:10:24,720 --> 00:10:26,660 I remember how amazing you looked that day. 153 00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:29,880 Form of complement met the expectations. 154 00:10:30,600 --> 00:10:31,940 Any evening plans? 155 00:10:32,320 --> 00:10:33,740 Nothing specific. 156 00:10:34,020 --> 00:10:36,140 Heightened level of object fatigue. 157 00:10:36,740 --> 00:10:39,000 Recommended: stationary leisure. 158 00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:42,340 How about couch, blanket, movie? 159 00:10:44,260 --> 00:10:47,320 -You read my mind tonight. - May I choose the movie? 160 00:10:48,940 --> 00:10:52,340 Okay. But not like the last time. 161 00:10:52,740 --> 00:10:55,460 I really don't like horror movies, you know? 162 00:10:55,880 --> 00:11:00,600 Entertainment type expectations: good-natured, humorous, family-oriented. 163 00:11:00,840 --> 00:11:03,080 I think I'll find something you like. 164 00:11:14,140 --> 00:11:15,720 Analyzing object condition. 165 00:11:16,900 --> 00:11:19,580 Mood structure improved. 166 00:11:21,320 --> 00:11:24,020 Coffeine demand satisfied. 167 00:11:24,140 --> 00:11:26,240 Object ready to leave place of rest. 168 00:11:55,580 --> 00:11:56,580 Honey? 169 00:11:57,860 --> 00:11:58,920 What are you doing? 170 00:12:00,140 --> 00:12:03,200 - It's really early. - Surprise! 171 00:12:06,240 --> 00:12:10,100 But our anniversary is... a month away? 172 00:12:10,620 --> 00:12:12,860 Yeah, but today is a special day, too. 173 00:12:13,580 --> 00:12:16,260 We met each other seven years ago. 174 00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:21,740 - You really remember things like that? - Yeah. 175 00:12:23,140 --> 00:12:26,600 - You're sweet. - Breakfast is ready downstairs. 176 00:12:33,060 --> 00:12:34,360 Maybe these headphones? 177 00:12:34,580 --> 00:12:39,480 Lately, the object was not interested in improving sound quality. 178 00:12:39,820 --> 00:12:43,240 The current headphones satisfy the object's expectations. 179 00:12:43,540 --> 00:12:45,040 Okay. How about... 180 00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:47,940 How about a holiday trip? 181 00:12:48,160 --> 00:12:49,960 She told me recently she'd love to chill out on a beach. 182 00:12:50,180 --> 00:12:53,360 We wanted to go to the Canaries last year, but neither of us got work leave. 183 00:12:53,420 --> 00:12:55,240 Goal no longer valid. 184 00:12:55,580 --> 00:12:56,680 What do you mean? 185 00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:59,540 It wasn't that long ago? 186 00:12:59,820 --> 00:13:03,320 - Goal no longer valid. - Okay, what if I wanna go? 187 00:13:03,520 --> 00:13:05,160 Insufficient argument. 188 00:13:05,480 --> 00:13:06,460 - What does that mean? 189 00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:10,160 The reason given does not apply to calculations. 190 00:13:10,420 --> 00:13:12,900 What about my needs? 191 00:13:12,900 --> 00:13:15,980 They don't matter in this relationship anymore? 192 00:13:15,980 --> 00:13:18,980 The goal of therapy is to increase the sum of happiness in the relationship. 193 00:13:19,180 --> 00:13:20,560 Yeah, I've heard that already. 194 00:13:20,820 --> 00:13:24,840 The recommendations are optimized for the purpose of meeting the goal. 195 00:13:26,860 --> 00:13:29,900 Okay. What do I buy her? 196 00:13:30,260 --> 00:13:32,420 Evaluating potential options. 197 00:13:33,380 --> 00:13:36,740 Choice no. 1: organic make-up cosmetics set. 198 00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:40,300 This gift boasts the highest percentage of potentially meeting the object's expectations 199 00:13:40,640 --> 00:13:42,260 and improving mood structure. 200 00:13:45,220 --> 00:13:49,120 Okay. Cosmetics, then. Here. 201 00:13:52,320 --> 00:13:55,200 The object's body temperature is below the comfort threshold. 202 00:13:55,520 --> 00:14:00,460 Suggested action: provide an extra layer of cover for the object. 203 00:14:02,080 --> 00:14:03,360 I'm asleep. 204 00:14:03,660 --> 00:14:07,380 Suggested action: provide an extra layer of cover for the object. 205 00:14:07,880 --> 00:14:10,820 The object's body temperature is below the comfort threshold. 206 00:14:11,280 --> 00:14:13,120 System recommended action: 207 00:14:13,360 --> 00:14:15,480 provide an extra layer of cover for the object. 208 00:14:15,740 --> 00:14:16,240 Okay, okay. 209 00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:33,200 Extra layer of cover insufficient. 210 00:14:37,260 --> 00:14:40,040 Warning! Body overheating hazard. 211 00:14:43,060 --> 00:14:45,980 Warning! Body overheating... 212 00:14:49,580 --> 00:14:50,860 Hi. 213 00:14:52,480 --> 00:14:53,640 And this is for you. 214 00:14:55,680 --> 00:14:59,000 Thank you! That's exactly what I wanted. 215 00:15:00,060 --> 00:15:01,880 I thought you might like that. 216 00:15:02,140 --> 00:15:05,980 I thought of a different gift, but... 217 00:15:06,240 --> 00:15:08,180 Warning! Risky dialogue choice. 218 00:15:09,440 --> 00:15:11,520 Yeah? What kind? 219 00:15:11,780 --> 00:15:15,420 Pursuing the subject is not recommended. Warning! 220 00:15:15,580 --> 00:15:17,020 - Shh. - What? 221 00:15:19,120 --> 00:15:20,100 I just... 222 00:15:20,180 --> 00:15:23,160 I thought I'd silence that thought 223 00:15:23,160 --> 00:15:25,540 and use the idea some other time. 224 00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:28,240 Object is not interested in this gift category. 225 00:15:28,820 --> 00:15:30,560 But I'm happy you like it. 226 00:15:31,400 --> 00:15:32,400 Thanks. 227 00:15:35,620 --> 00:15:38,820 Contentment level raised by 11%. 228 00:15:39,300 --> 00:15:40,380 No way! 229 00:15:41,920 --> 00:15:42,920 230 00:15:44,980 --> 00:15:47,020 So what about your girl? Is it better? 231 00:15:47,020 --> 00:15:48,260 Much better. 232 00:15:48,260 --> 00:15:50,940 I don't remember her ever being this happy. 233 00:15:51,060 --> 00:15:54,940 I installed the app you told me about. 234 00:15:55,860 --> 00:16:00,640 Really? Cool! I should get a commission from them! 235 00:16:01,140 --> 00:16:03,480 - But how does that worki? - It is... 236 00:16:03,820 --> 00:16:06,780 You'd have to see it. It's a program... 237 00:16:06,780 --> 00:16:10,020 Very complicated and highly customized, but it's still software. 238 00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:14,940 - Still getting used to it. - Okay, but what does it do, exactly? 239 00:16:15,220 --> 00:16:20,740 It causes me to make choices that increase the sum of happiness in my relationship. 240 00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:26,800 - What does that mean? - It makes everything better than it was. 241 00:16:29,900 --> 00:16:32,980 - Beer? - Sure. Never say no to that. 242 00:16:52,040 --> 00:16:53,480 I can't decide. 243 00:16:54,060 --> 00:16:57,060 On beer? Beer is beer. 244 00:16:57,060 --> 00:16:58,060 245 00:16:59,220 --> 00:17:02,140 - Take the Canadian pale ale, I liked it the last time. - Okay. 246 00:17:03,300 --> 00:17:04,300 247 00:17:04,460 --> 00:17:07,800 - Should I decide for you as well? - No, I can handle that. 248 00:17:08,119 --> 00:17:10,139 I guess Canadian pale isn't a bad idea. 249 00:17:11,540 --> 00:17:12,860 What a guy. 250 00:17:19,460 --> 00:17:20,940 How was your day, honey? 251 00:17:22,480 --> 00:17:24,080 Recommended answer: 252 00:17:24,560 --> 00:17:27,520 Account of meeting a dog on the way to work. 253 00:17:28,420 --> 00:17:32,400 I met the neighbor's dog on my way to work. 254 00:17:32,820 --> 00:17:37,120 - They have a dog now? - Yeah, it's sweet, small, 255 00:17:37,860 --> 00:17:40,880 - and fluffy. - Reminder: a photo of the meeting 256 00:17:40,880 --> 00:17:43,640 has been recorded in phone memory. 257 00:17:43,640 --> 00:17:46,780 I even took a photo to show you. 258 00:17:47,160 --> 00:17:48,260 - Really? - Look, that's the pup. 259 00:17:48,580 --> 00:17:52,820 - Oh my, what a cutie! - Right? 260 00:17:53,020 --> 00:17:56,240 - What a lovely stare. - It's sweet, small, and fluffy. 261 00:17:56,660 --> 00:17:59,260 Level of maternal needs raised by 7%. 262 00:17:59,560 --> 00:18:01,980 How about we get one? 263 00:18:02,340 --> 00:18:06,420 Confirmation recommended. Short-term, non-binding aspiration. 264 00:18:06,740 --> 00:18:09,840 If you want that... why not? 265 00:18:16,780 --> 00:18:21,940 I really feel great with you recently, you know? Things have finally changed. 266 00:18:22,680 --> 00:18:25,680 - You make a real effort... - Object's mood structure stable. 267 00:18:25,680 --> 00:18:30,400 - You care about me, I feel like a queen. - Contentment level over 90%. 268 00:18:30,660 --> 00:18:32,380 - A princess. - Hunger level stable. 269 00:18:32,680 --> 00:18:37,520 - Current expectations: dessert, nap, walk. - You prepare sandwiches for work... 270 00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:43,220 Potential evening activities: reading a book... 271 00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:02,680 - Honey... - Warning! Inappropriate time for conversation. 272 00:19:02,680 --> 00:19:05,840 Starting a conversation may result in decline of the object's mood. 273 00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:06,740 I... 274 00:19:07,160 --> 00:19:11,020 Warning! The topic may result in a negative reaction. 275 00:19:12,360 --> 00:19:14,120 I'd like to tell you something... 276 00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:18,020 System alert! Halting the procedure. 277 00:19:18,100 --> 00:19:20,320 Switching to automatic mode. 278 00:19:22,120 --> 00:19:25,200 Nevermind. Sleep tight. 279 00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:32,920 I love you. 280 00:19:37,660 --> 00:19:39,660 I love you, too. 281 00:19:44,760 --> 00:00:00,000 Goodnight. 21846

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