Original subtitles

- Did you sleep well? - Yeah.

Short, but well.

Just like me.

Fortunately, the weekend is coming.

How about we sleep through it all?

- You're kidding? - Okay, we'll take a break to eat.

- But we'll order, no cooking.

- You really don't remember?

- Do we have plans? - Yeah.

But I really wanted to get some rest.

- We talked about this, right? - About what?

The premiere of my sister's play.

Jesus, right, I forgot. Sorry, you're right.

- Why do you always have to be like that? - Like what?

- So facetious. - Come on.

- I forgot, you reminded me, it's all good. - "It's all good". Great. As always.

Listen, it's really difficult for me to handle everything.

I work a lot, can't even find my head.

There it is.

- You used to care more about me, you know?

Did I say we're not going?

I just didn't know you care about this so much.

- We've talked about this!

It's very important for me. And for my sister.

It's because of shit like this I feel like you never listen to me.

Or you don't understand me.

Don't even know what's worse.

THE SUM OF HAPPINESS

And?

What?

Look how I cleaned the place up.

All for my kitty.

Oh, yeah. Great.

I have to make one more call and start preparing.

Preparing?

Dinner with the board?

You forgot again?

No, of course I remember.

Great.

Hey, it's me. I prepared the evaluation...

Honey?

Did you see my earring? Looked like this?

I left both on the counter and one's missing.

No, haven't seen them at all.

- You didn't move them while cleaning?

- No, I only vacuumed.

Maybe you sucked it in, maybe it fell somewhere? Things don't go missing just like that.

I don't know. Maybe there is a chance

that it fell down while I vacuumed. Check by the bed.

I checked!

, I'm not stupid. Under, behind, on the bed....

Is that a problem? Will they fire you if you don't were these specific earrings?

I come back from work, clean our place spotless for you, and what do I get?

But I didn't need this today!

I have an important meeting and have to calmly prepare for it! I told you!

Would've been better if you did nothing at all!

"Three days on the couch". Nice, dude.

- Come on. - Your couch must be really comfy, huh?

So what? You'll be waiting for an apology?

I don't know.

That's just how life is.

But I really care about her.

I don't do anything - it's bad. I do something - it's even worse.

I'd like to be smart here, but...

That's life.

A true story for you. I have this friend

who almost went deaf from his girlfriends' screams. Really.

He did lose some hearing.

Her screams caused some weird vibrations his ears didn't tolerate.

He went to the doctor, and what did he say? "You need a hearing aid!"

So he gave him the hearing aid and recommended couple's therapy.

- Did it help? - What, the aid?

No, therapy.

Nah, I don't think they even went.

But they're happy. Sure, they argue, but they're happy.

- Do you know why? - Why?

Cause when she yells, he just turns it down.

I appreciate you trying to improve my mood

Always, man.

Are you seriously considering counselling?

- I don't know what to do. - Oh, come on.

I wouldn't want for anyone to tell me how to live.

Shrinks are like car bobblehead dogs, always nodding.

An hour passes and what? You're down 150 zloty.

But if you really need help, I read this really interesting piece recently.

This company came up with a fantastic relationship app.

"Relationship app"?

It's supposed to be amazing.

Isn't it dangerous, though?

Everyone's getting implants these days.

I'll find it for you.

- Got it. - Can you send it?

- There you go. - Got it, thanks.

Oh, man! The new AR is coming out tomorrow!

50 thousand people playing on one map!

Have you seen the trailer? Looks spectacular.

- Nice to meet you, sir. - Good afternoon.

My experience clearly tells me

that our services are chosen only by those

who know exactly what they want from life.

But since we're professional physicians

we have to always be 100% sure.

- Which is why I have to ask you a few questions. - Go ahead.

What led you to make this decision

and are you aware how our therapeutic app actually works?

I only know what I've read in the paper.

I'd like to learn the do's and don'ts of my relationship,

and your app is supposed to help with that.

Indeed. After calibration,

the app will analyze the object of your affection

and help you to make the correct decisions, based on behavioral data gathered in real time.

I only want her to be happy.

That's the one thing I can actually guarantee.

Our therapy boasts a 100% success rate in improving

the objective sum of relationship happiness.

Is there anything I should pay attention to?

Any tips for a future user?

Just one...

don't be afraid.

Our application is merely a tool,

just like thousands of other pieces of software.

It's designed for the sole purpose of making your partner's life more pleasant.

And as a consequence - your life as well.

Since her happiness is your happiness.

Any questions?

- No. - Then let's get to work.

- Hi. - You're home late.

Object of affection localized. Starting analysis.

Hunger level exceeds normal levels. This causes a 77% chance of irritation.

I'm sorry. Work.

I'm starving, do you wanna eat something?

I could go to the store and prepare a quick dish for you.

- Really? - Yeah.

I actually didn't have time to eat lunch.

- Any preferences? - I don't know. Think of something.

Evaluationg potential options.

Recommended choice no. 1: tagiatelle with mushrooms.

It has a 97% chance of satisfying hunger

and an 83% chance of improving the object's mood.

Don't worry, I'll think of something. Be right back.

And?

It's actually really good.

Satisfaction level raised by 6%.

I knew you'd like it.

Oh yeah? How?

Suggested response: referencing shared experiences.

Remember how our car broke down in Italy, three years ago?

- I do. - There was this little quaint restaurant

where they had all kinds of pasta and you wanted tagiatelle with mushrooms.

- But they didn't have the tagiatelle. - It's amazing you remember such details.

The conversation raised the level of trust.

I remember how amazing you looked that day.

Form of complement met the expectations.

Any evening plans?

Nothing specific.

Heightened level of object fatigue.

Recommended: stationary leisure.

How about couch, blanket, movie?

-You read my mind tonight. - May I choose the movie?

Okay. But not like the last time.

I really don't like horror movies, you know?

Entertainment type expectations: good-natured, humorous, family-oriented.

I think I'll find something you like.

Analyzing object condition.

Mood structure improved.

Coffeine demand satisfied.

Object ready to leave place of rest.

Honey?

What are you doing?

- It's really early. - Surprise!

But our anniversary is... a month away?

Yeah, but today is a special day, too.

We met each other seven years ago.

- You really remember things like that? - Yeah.

- You're sweet. - Breakfast is ready downstairs.

Maybe these headphones?

Lately, the object was not interested in improving sound quality.

The current headphones satisfy the object's expectations.

Okay. How about...

How about a holiday trip?

She told me recently she'd love to chill out on a beach.

We wanted to go to the Canaries last year, but neither of us got work leave.

Goal no longer valid.

What do you mean?

It wasn't that long ago?

- Goal no longer valid. - Okay, what if I wanna go?

Insufficient argument.

- What does that mean?

The reason given does not apply to calculations.

What about my needs?

They don't matter in this relationship anymore?

The goal of therapy is to increase the sum of happiness in the relationship.

Yeah, I've heard that already.

The recommendations are optimized for the purpose of meeting the goal.

Okay. What do I buy her?

Evaluating potential options.

Choice no. 1: organic make-up cosmetics set.

This gift boasts the highest percentage of potentially meeting the object's expectations

and improving mood structure.

Okay. Cosmetics, then. Here.

The object's body temperature is below the comfort threshold.

Suggested action: provide an extra layer of cover for the object.

I'm asleep.

Suggested action: provide an extra layer of cover for the object.

The object's body temperature is below the comfort threshold.

System recommended action:

provide an extra layer of cover for the object.

Okay, okay.

Extra layer of cover insufficient.

Warning! Body overheating hazard.

Warning! Body overheating...

Hi.

And this is for you.

Thank you! That's exactly what I wanted.

I thought you might like that.

I thought of a different gift, but...

Warning! Risky dialogue choice.

Yeah? What kind?

Pursuing the subject is not recommended. Warning!

- Shh. - What?

I just...

I thought I'd silence that thought

and use the idea some other time.

Object is not interested in this gift category.

But I'm happy you like it.

Thanks.

Contentment level raised by 11%.

No way!

So what about your girl? Is it better?

Much better.

I don't remember her ever being this happy.

I installed the app you told me about.

Really? Cool! I should get a commission from them!

- But how does that worki? - It is...

You'd have to see it. It's a program...

Very complicated and highly customized, but it's still software.

- Still getting used to it. - Okay, but what does it do, exactly?

It causes me to make choices that increase the sum of happiness in my relationship.

- What does that mean? - It makes everything better than it was.

- Beer? - Sure. Never say no to that.

I can't decide.

On beer? Beer is beer.

- Take the Canadian pale ale, I liked it the last time. - Okay.

- Should I decide for you as well? - No, I can handle that.

I guess Canadian pale isn't a bad idea.

What a guy.

How was your day, honey?

Recommended answer:

Account of meeting a dog on the way to work.

I met the neighbor's dog on my way to work.

- They have a dog now? - Yeah, it's sweet, small,

- and fluffy. - Reminder: a photo of the meeting

has been recorded in phone memory.

I even took a photo to show you.

- Really? - Look, that's the pup.

- Oh my, what a cutie! - Right?

- What a lovely stare. - It's sweet, small, and fluffy.

Level of maternal needs raised by 7%.

How about we get one?

Confirmation recommended. Short-term, non-binding aspiration.

If you want that... why not?

I really feel great with you recently, you know? Things have finally changed.

- You make a real effort... - Object's mood structure stable.

- You care about me, I feel like a queen. - Contentment level over 90%.

- A princess. - Hunger level stable.

- Current expectations: dessert, nap, walk. - You prepare sandwiches for work...

Potential evening activities: reading a book...

- Honey... - Warning! Inappropriate time for conversation.

Starting a conversation may result in decline of the object's mood.

I...

Warning! The topic may result in a negative reaction.

I'd like to tell you something...

System alert! Halting the procedure.

Switching to automatic mode.

Nevermind. Sleep tight.

I love you.

I love you, too.

Goodnight.