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1
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Deck the halls...
2
00:00:03,133 --> 00:00:06,111
Ah, Christmas shopping eh?
Unavoidable. Right.
3
00:00:06,113 --> 00:00:10,113
If we don't shop the sun won't
return, right?
4
00:00:10,115 --> 00:00:13,649
You know, I'm so glad you're coming
round for Christmas.
5
00:00:13,650 --> 00:00:16,114
It's the only thing that
keeps me going.
6
00:00:16,115 --> 00:00:19,114
Though I've got to warn you,
Roger will be there
7
00:00:19,115 --> 00:00:23,114
and also Edith's awful sister -
the dreaded Joan.
8
00:00:23,115 --> 00:00:25,916
Have you met her?
Joan? I've heard about her.
9
00:00:25,917 --> 00:00:29,114
Yeah, so you must feel free to
leave as early as you like.
10
00:00:29,115 --> 00:00:31,114
Thank you.
I'll bear that in mind.
11
00:00:31,115 --> 00:00:34,114
Oh, incidentally,
any news on the sale of the house?
12
00:00:34,115 --> 00:00:36,114
Humbug! Bah!
13
00:00:36,115 --> 00:00:38,114
Ho! Ho! Ho!
14
00:00:38,115 --> 00:00:41,114
Have I the right to hold you?
15
00:00:41,115 --> 00:00:44,114
You know I've always told you
16
00:00:44,115 --> 00:00:47,383
I've loved you from the very start
17
00:00:50,116 --> 00:00:54,114
Come right back,
I just can't bear it
18
00:00:54,115 --> 00:00:57,649
I've got this love and I long to
share it
19
00:00:57,650 --> 00:01:01,782
Come right back,
right back where you belong
20
00:01:01,783 --> 00:01:03,649
Oh, yeah
21
00:01:03,650 --> 00:01:05,115
You belong.
22
00:01:07,115 --> 00:01:09,114
CHURCH BELLS
23
00:01:09,115 --> 00:01:11,114
These things take time, Phil.
24
00:01:11,115 --> 00:01:13,114
This isn't at all unusual.
25
00:01:13,115 --> 00:01:15,887
Well, it's been on the market
three months now.
26
00:01:15,889 --> 00:01:17,889
Well, mid-winter isn't the best
time to sell a house.
27
00:01:17,890 --> 00:01:20,826
Well, it wasn't such a bad time
three months ago.
28
00:01:20,827 --> 00:01:23,761
I mean, I have to find a new estate
agent, you know.
29
00:01:23,762 --> 00:01:26,696
Wickford and I,
we just don't hit it off.
30
00:01:26,697 --> 00:01:28,296
Well, maybe it's a generation thing?
31
00:01:28,297 --> 00:01:29,762
Oh, could be, yes.
32
00:01:29,763 --> 00:01:34,761
Could be I'm old,
knowledgeable and wise and he isn't.
33
00:01:34,762 --> 00:01:37,761
People get interested in houses
in the spring.
34
00:01:37,762 --> 00:01:41,762
Like beavers, or termites,
or dung beetles, eh?
35
00:01:41,763 --> 00:01:44,696
Speaking of which, where is Roger?
36
00:01:44,697 --> 00:01:45,761
Gone to get a Christmas tree.
37
00:01:45,762 --> 00:01:48,162
The children aren't coming,
are they?
38
00:01:48,163 --> 00:01:51,761
Apparently, the best thing about
having a gap year is you can skip family Christmas.
39
00:01:51,762 --> 00:01:54,761
Ah, so the tree is,
basically, for Roger.
40
00:01:54,762 --> 00:01:56,761
Er, yes. Yes.
How old is he?
41
00:01:56,762 --> 00:02:00,761
He says this'll be the last
Christmas we'll all spend together in this house.
42
00:02:00,762 --> 00:02:02,762
Well, let's hope so.
43
00:02:02,763 --> 00:02:05,761
Your sister's still coming,
I suppose?
44
00:02:05,762 --> 00:02:08,761
She wants to watch the Queen's
speech on our big screen.
45
00:02:08,762 --> 00:02:09,762
Ha!
46
00:02:09,763 --> 00:02:11,761
DOORBELL RINGS
47
00:02:11,762 --> 00:02:13,761
What fresh hell is this?
48
00:02:13,762 --> 00:02:14,762
I'll go.
49
00:02:17,762 --> 00:02:18,762
Roger!
50
00:02:18,763 --> 00:02:20,761
Good, isn't it?!
It's far too big!
51
00:02:20,762 --> 00:02:22,762
Half price!
Oh, it's too big!
52
00:02:23,762 --> 00:02:26,761
20 quid!
You'll have to cut it down!
53
00:02:26,762 --> 00:02:28,761
I'm not going to cut it,
it'll ruin the shape.
54
00:02:28,762 --> 00:02:30,761
It won't get...
It won't come through the door!
55
00:02:30,762 --> 00:02:32,761
Will it go through the window?
56
00:02:32,762 --> 00:02:35,761
It can't go in the sitting room.
It can, we've measured it.
57
00:02:35,762 --> 00:02:37,761
Oh, well, you got it wrong.
You've made a mistake.
58
00:02:37,762 --> 00:02:40,761
No, it's not a mistake.
Bob double-checked.
59
00:02:40,762 --> 00:02:43,162
Bob?! Aye, I did.
60
00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:44,761
It'll fit fine!
61
00:02:44,762 --> 00:02:49,297
It might not be totally upright,
but, hey, you can't have everything, eh?
62
00:03:00,762 --> 00:03:02,163
Ah, Queenie! Come on in.
63
00:03:05,762 --> 00:03:09,761
So, why don't you start in here
and then just, er, look around
64
00:03:09,762 --> 00:03:10,762
and see what else needs doing?
65
00:03:10,763 --> 00:03:13,761
I think I'll open the window first.
It smells a bit musty.
66
00:03:13,762 --> 00:03:15,761
No, no. Don't open the windows.
67
00:03:15,762 --> 00:03:18,761
Why not?
Well, er, something might fly in.
68
00:03:18,762 --> 00:03:22,761
Like what?!
Er, a pigeon, heron, flamingo.
69
00:03:22,762 --> 00:03:24,762
Emu. Giraffe.
70
00:03:24,763 --> 00:03:27,895
What? Well, just take your pick,
but the point is if we lock up
71
00:03:27,896 --> 00:03:33,761
and leave and it's left stuck here,
it's going to make a mess, isn't it?
72
00:03:33,762 --> 00:03:38,429
Anyway, nasty lanky beasts,
those giraffes.
73
00:03:38,430 --> 00:03:41,429
I think there's one in here already.
74
00:03:41,430 --> 00:03:43,763
So, I'll be upstairs doing
the inventory if you need me.
75
00:03:44,263 --> 00:03:51,924
For subtitling services, contatct:
waqas.zahoor89@gmail.com
76
00:03:59,762 --> 00:04:01,162
Phil.
77
00:04:01,163 --> 00:04:02,762
Yes, dear?
78
00:04:06,992 --> 00:04:07,993
Celia?
79
00:04:11,992 --> 00:04:12,992
Celia?
80
00:04:12,993 --> 00:04:14,992
Look in this direction...
81
00:04:18,992 --> 00:04:20,992
I can only...
82
00:04:22,992 --> 00:04:26,992
..see you reflected in that mirror.
83
00:04:27,992 --> 00:04:31,991
Slightly out of focus
and in black and white.
84
00:04:31,992 --> 00:04:32,992
That's the convention.
85
00:04:32,993 --> 00:04:36,392
Well, does it have to be like that?
I mean, it's a bit of a cliche.
86
00:04:36,393 --> 00:04:38,991
I don't make the rules, darling.
No, of course you don't.
87
00:04:38,992 --> 00:04:40,992
Erm, so, er...
88
00:04:42,527 --> 00:04:45,991
..what do you want? Are you upset
about my selling the house?
89
00:04:45,992 --> 00:04:49,125
On the contrary,
I'm delighted that you're moving on.
90
00:04:49,126 --> 00:04:50,991
Ah! Good.
91
00:04:50,992 --> 00:04:53,392
It's about time. Great.
92
00:04:53,393 --> 00:04:55,393
HUMMING
93
00:04:57,660 --> 00:05:00,991
So, what do you miss most?
94
00:05:00,992 --> 00:05:02,259
Apart from me, I mean?
95
00:05:02,260 --> 00:05:03,991
Apart from you?
96
00:05:03,992 --> 00:05:05,392
Cigarettes.
97
00:05:05,393 --> 00:05:06,992
Cigarettes!
98
00:05:07,993 --> 00:05:10,991
You mean it's a no-smoking zone
where you are?
99
00:05:10,992 --> 00:05:11,992
It is.
100
00:05:11,993 --> 00:05:13,393
What a bummer!
101
00:05:15,992 --> 00:05:21,125
Celia, it's not your intention
to come with us, is it?
102
00:05:21,126 --> 00:05:23,991
Of course not! Why would I do that?
103
00:05:23,992 --> 00:05:25,992
Well, I don't know.
You tell me.
104
00:05:26,992 --> 00:05:28,991
I've got other fish to fry.
105
00:05:28,992 --> 00:05:29,992
Really?
106
00:05:30,993 --> 00:05:33,992
Like who?
Mind your own business.
107
00:05:35,992 --> 00:05:38,992
You're pulling my leg, aren't you?
You could never resist that.
108
00:05:41,927 --> 00:05:46,991
Well, I must say, Celia,
I can't see you very well,
109
00:05:46,992 --> 00:05:51,992
but you seem in very good shape,
all things considered.
110
00:05:53,992 --> 00:05:56,991
You're not going to hang around
after I've left, are you?
111
00:05:56,992 --> 00:06:00,991
No! I just want to make sure
you get out.
112
00:06:00,992 --> 00:06:02,392
Is... is that in doubt?
113
00:06:02,393 --> 00:06:05,991
We both know you're not nearly as
competent as people think you are.
114
00:06:05,992 --> 00:06:07,125
Well, I won't argue with you.
115
00:06:07,126 --> 00:06:09,991
That's a change for the better.
Mm.
116
00:06:09,992 --> 00:06:14,991
Celia, about these clothes of yours.
117
00:06:14,992 --> 00:06:16,991
What should I do with them?
118
00:06:16,992 --> 00:06:17,992
Give them away.
119
00:06:19,660 --> 00:06:21,527
I can't believe
you've still got them.
120
00:06:22,992 --> 00:06:24,393
Just get rid of them.
121
00:06:26,794 --> 00:06:27,992
It was hard.
122
00:06:29,992 --> 00:06:30,992
Yes.
123
00:06:32,393 --> 00:06:33,991
I know.
124
00:06:33,992 --> 00:06:35,992
One more thing, darling...
125
00:06:37,992 --> 00:06:39,526
..happy Christmas.
126
00:06:39,527 --> 00:06:42,660
Oh, thank you, darling.
127
00:06:43,992 --> 00:06:45,393
Same to you.
128
00:06:52,260 --> 00:06:55,793
I see you've managed to bag the
quietest spot in town.
129
00:06:55,794 --> 00:06:57,392
Edith!
130
00:06:57,393 --> 00:06:59,125
Hello, Bertie!
131
00:06:59,126 --> 00:07:01,992
So, this is you doing
your Christmas shopping, is it?
132
00:07:01,993 --> 00:07:04,992
Look at this lot.
Oh. Terrifying!
133
00:07:05,992 --> 00:07:06,992
I know.
134
00:07:06,993 --> 00:07:10,991
Every year it's going to be
different and every year it comes to this -
135
00:07:10,992 --> 00:07:14,991
me running around at the last minute
and getting grumpier by the day.
136
00:07:14,992 --> 00:07:17,259
Fortunately, I come from
a very small tribe.
137
00:07:17,260 --> 00:07:18,991
Lucky you!
138
00:07:18,992 --> 00:07:20,992
Yeah, well, quite lucky.
139
00:07:21,992 --> 00:07:24,991
I hope we're still going to
see you on Tuesday.
140
00:07:24,992 --> 00:07:25,992
Yes, I was going to give you a call.
141
00:07:25,993 --> 00:07:27,991
Now, what can I bring round to
contribute to the meal?
142
00:07:27,992 --> 00:07:30,793
Nothing.
Everything's in hand.
143
00:07:30,794 --> 00:07:32,392
Ah, well, then I'll have to
ask Sandra.
144
00:07:32,393 --> 00:07:35,991
Ooh! She'll give you a whole list.
145
00:07:35,992 --> 00:07:37,392
Ah, now come on, Edith.
146
00:07:37,393 --> 00:07:39,991
Think how much happier it'll make me
to bring something around
147
00:07:39,992 --> 00:07:42,259
that you'll really be
pleased to see.
148
00:07:42,260 --> 00:07:44,991
Rather than the fifth bottle of
limonchello!
149
00:07:44,992 --> 00:07:46,992
Ah!
150
00:07:47,992 --> 00:07:48,992
Merry Christmas!
151
00:07:48,993 --> 00:07:50,992
Oh, God!
152
00:07:54,992 --> 00:07:57,991
Oh! Urgh!
153
00:07:57,992 --> 00:07:59,260
Oh!
154
00:08:00,126 --> 00:08:01,991
This isn't going to work.
155
00:08:01,992 --> 00:08:05,991
Why are you so defeatist, eh?
It's your tactics.
156
00:08:05,992 --> 00:08:07,991
I never accept defeat.
157
00:08:07,992 --> 00:08:09,991
Did they teach you that in the SAS?
158
00:08:09,992 --> 00:08:11,526
As a matter of fact they did.
159
00:08:11,527 --> 00:08:13,393
Adaptability.
Thinking on your feet.
160
00:08:16,794 --> 00:08:17,991
I can't think of anything.
161
00:08:17,992 --> 00:08:21,991
Well, there's a simple expedient
here that'll transform the whole operation.
162
00:08:21,992 --> 00:08:24,991
Yeah? And what's that?
Turn it the other way round.
163
00:08:24,992 --> 00:08:26,991
Turn it the other way round?
164
00:08:26,992 --> 00:08:28,991
Yeah, so the branches don't get
stuck in the door.
165
00:08:28,992 --> 00:08:30,991
That's what I said in the
first place!
166
00:08:30,992 --> 00:08:31,992
No, you never!
167
00:08:33,527 --> 00:08:36,392
These coffee mornings, Sandra,
I hope you know how much they mean to me.
168
00:08:36,393 --> 00:08:38,991
Wendy. 00:10:58,991
You know?
221
00:10:58,992 --> 00:11:02,991
In fact the original Santa,
maybe he had a criminal record?
222
00:11:02,992 --> 00:11:04,926
But he still did good things.
223
00:11:04,927 --> 00:11:06,991
And that makes him even more
saintly.
224
00:11:06,992 --> 00:11:09,991
Does it?
225
00:11:09,992 --> 00:11:11,991
I've forgotten a lot of my theology.
Theology?
226
00:11:11,992 --> 00:11:13,991
Yeah,
when I was training for the church.
227
00:11:13,992 --> 00:11:16,991
You trained for the church?!
00:12:47,659
Thank you.
257
00:12:47,660 --> 00:12:49,793
Well, time marches on.
258
00:12:49,794 --> 00:12:52,991
So let's talk about
selling my house.
259
00:12:52,992 --> 00:12:54,125
Selling your house?
260
00:12:54,126 --> 00:12:55,392
Yes.
261
00:12:55,393 --> 00:12:56,991
Are you kidding?
262
00:12:56,992 --> 00:12:59,259
EVIL LAUGHTER
263
00:12:59,260 --> 00:13:02,392
Don't be ridiculous, Dolly!
264
00:13:02,393 --> 00:13:09,991
Tis the season to be Dolly,
tra-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
265
00:13:09,992 --> 00:13:13,927
The dolly and the ivy...
266
00:13:19,992 --> 00:13:22,991
Phil...
267
00:13:22,992 --> 00:13:23,992
Phil!
268
00:13:23,993 --> 00:13:26,794
Phil! Phil!
269
00:13:30,992 --> 00:13:31,992
You were having a nightmare.
270
00:13:31,993 --> 00:13:35,991
Yeah. Estate agent banging on and on
about camper vans.
271
00:13:35,992 --> 00:13:41,991
Phil, Phil, you've got to do
something to get your mind
272
00:13:41,992 --> 00:13:43,125
off the house.
273
00:13:43,126 --> 00:13:44,991
OK. All right.
274
00:13:44,992 --> 00:13:45,992
Mm.
275
00:13:45,993 --> 00:13:48,659
OK.
276
00:13:48,660 --> 00:13:50,991
Oh, I had a nice, erm,
277
00:13:50,992 --> 00:13:52,991
a nice chat with Celia.
278
00:13:52,992 --> 00:13:57,991
What? Yeah, she was at the house and
she's OK about selling the house
279
00:13:57,992 --> 00:14:01,991
and erm, about us and everything.
280
00:14:01,992 --> 00:14:05,392
So I felt much better after, yeah.
Oh, good.
281
00:14:05,393 --> 00:14:06,991
So there's nothing to worry about.
282
00:14:06,992 --> 00:14:07,992
Nothing to worry...
283
00:14:09,993 --> 00:14:11,659
Mm...
284
00:14:11,660 --> 00:14:12,991
Have you consulted Colin?
285
00:14:12,992 --> 00:14:14,991
Er... yes.
286
00:14:14,992 --> 00:14:16,991
Yes, I have.
287
00:14:16,992 --> 00:14:19,991
Ah! And he's delighted that
I'm moving on.
288
00:14:19,992 --> 00:14:22,991
Ha-ha, exactly what Celia said.
289
00:14:22,992 --> 00:14:24,992
Of course it is.
290
00:14:26,992 --> 00:14:28,992
Now, try and get back to sleep.
291
00:14:37,992 --> 00:14:38,992
Why are we doing this?
292
00:14:38,993 --> 00:14:41,991
I want to put you in the picture.
293
00:14:41,992 --> 00:14:44,991
Are you sure he's not in here?
294
00:14:44,992 --> 00:14:46,991
No, he's gone to the shops.
295
00:14:46,992 --> 00:14:49,992
That's his inventory list there.
296
00:14:51,992 --> 00:14:53,991
Oh, these are Celia's things.
297
00:14:53,992 --> 00:14:56,991
They are. I was on the landing and
Phil was in here.
298
00:14:56,992 --> 00:14:58,991
And clear as day I heard him
talking...
299
00:14:58,992 --> 00:15:00,991
Shhh!
300
00:15:00,992 --> 00:15:02,992
DOOR CLOSES
301
00:15:07,992 --> 00:15:09,991
Get in the wardrobe!
302
00:15:09,992 --> 00:15:11,991
Uh, don't be ridiculous,
I'm not getting in any wardrobe.
303
00:15:11,992 --> 00:15:13,991
And I'm claustrophobic.
Queenie!
304
00:15:13,992 --> 00:15:15,992
Get in the wardrobe!
305
00:15:19,992 --> 00:15:20,992
I'm in your bedroom.
306
00:15:20,993 --> 00:15:22,991
Mm.
307
00:15:22,992 --> 00:15:25,991
I'm just emptying the bins.
308
00:15:25,992 --> 00:15:28,793
Oh, I... I got the hoover bags
you wanted.
309
00:15:28,794 --> 00:15:29,991
They're on the kitchen table.
310
00:15:29,992 --> 00:15:33,526
Oh, lovely. I was just going to make
a start on the living room.
311
00:15:33,527 --> 00:15:38,125
So... If you come down in five
minutes I'll have made the tea.
312
00:15:38,126 --> 00:15:39,991
Excellent.
313
00:15:39,992 --> 00:15:40,992
Could you bring it up?
314
00:15:40,993 --> 00:15:42,991
No, I couldn't. What?
315
00:15:42,992 --> 00:15:45,259
Well, I might spill it.
316
00:15:45,260 --> 00:15:47,991
The old wrist's playing up today.
317
00:15:47,992 --> 00:15:51,991
Oh, well, you just give me a shout
and I'll fetch it up here myself.
318
00:15:51,992 --> 00:15:53,991
Oh, no, don't do that.
319
00:15:53,992 --> 00:15:56,991
Drink it downstairs.
Tea tastes better downstairs.
320
00:15:56,992 --> 00:15:58,991
Always.
321
00:15:58,992 --> 00:16:00,992
It's a well-known scientific fact.
322
00:16:07,992 --> 00:16:09,992
Celia.
323
00:16:11,992 --> 00:16:14,992
Celia, Celia, Celia, what are we
going to do wi...
324
00:16:19,992 --> 00:16:21,992
Celia?
325
00:16:22,993 --> 00:16:24,991
Hello, Phil.
326
00:16:24,992 --> 00:16:25,992
Sandra.
327
00:16:25,993 --> 00:16:27,991
SHE GASPS
328
00:16:27,992 --> 00:16:30,392
Wendy.
329
00:16:30,393 --> 00:16:32,991
Oh, that was dreadful!
I thought I was a goner.
330
00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:34,991
Yeah, Wendy suffers from
claustrophobia.
331
00:16:34,992 --> 00:16:35,992
I do. Quite badly.
332
00:16:35,993 --> 00:16:37,991
Well, what are you doing in the
wardrobe then?
333
00:16:37,992 --> 00:16:40,991
Surely that's the worst possible
place for you to be?
334
00:16:40,992 --> 00:16:41,992
We got lost.
335
00:16:42,992 --> 00:16:47,991
You mean you wandered off the beaten
track and finished up in...
336
00:16:47,992 --> 00:16:50,991
We've been looking for a cure
for some time.
337
00:16:50,992 --> 00:16:52,991
Mm. A cure?
338
00:16:52,992 --> 00:16:55,926
Yes, well, we thought that
if we could get Wendy into the
339
00:16:55,927 --> 00:16:57,991
right sort of confined space...
With a friend.
340
00:16:57,992 --> 00:17:00,793
With a friend. Erm,
someone she trusted,
341
00:17:00,794 --> 00:17:03,991
then the claustrophobia
might lose its...
342
00:17:03,992 --> 00:17:05,991
..threateningness.
343
00:17:05,992 --> 00:17:06,992
Ah, really?
344
00:17:06,993 --> 00:17:09,991
Just thought we might give it a try.
Apparently it often does the trick.
345
00:17:09,992 --> 00:17:12,992
But, erm, why my wardrobe?
346
00:17:13,992 --> 00:17:18,991
We have been looking for the right
kind of space for some time.
347
00:17:18,992 --> 00:17:20,991
Mm, and this is perfect.
348
00:17:20,992 --> 00:17:22,992
Yeah, it's a really nice wardrobe.
349
00:17:22,993 --> 00:17:26,991
So the aesthetics are important from
the point of view of the cure?
350
00:17:26,992 --> 00:17:27,992
Oh, yes. Critical.
351
00:17:27,993 --> 00:17:30,991
Yes, it was the size that did it.
The size is spot on.
352
00:17:30,992 --> 00:17:32,991
Spot on. Mm.
353
00:17:32,992 --> 00:17:36,991
And did it work?
I mean, I interrupted.
354
00:17:36,992 --> 00:17:39,991
Do you need to get back in there?
355
00:17:39,992 --> 00:17:42,991
No! No, I... I think we've been
in there quite long enough.
356
00:17:42,992 --> 00:17:45,125
Have we, Wendy? Oh, definitely.
I'm feeling so much better.
357
00:17:45,126 --> 00:17:46,392
Completely cured.
358
00:17:46,393 --> 00:17:48,526
Oh, good!
We should have asked you first.
359
00:17:48,527 --> 00:17:49,991
But we just thought that you
wouldn't mind.
360
00:17:49,992 --> 00:17:50,992
And I was in a desperate hurry.
361
00:17:50,993 --> 00:17:53,992
Yes. Wendy was in a desperate hurry,
so...
362
00:17:55,794 --> 00:17:56,991
Because?
363
00:17:56,992 --> 00:17:59,793
She's taking a transatlantic flight.
364
00:17:59,794 --> 00:18:00,991
On Boxing Day.
365
00:18:00,992 --> 00:18:02,991
Steerage is very cramped,
366
00:18:02,992 --> 00:18:07,991
so sorting her claustrophobia was
high priority.
367
00:18:07,992 --> 00:18:09,992
Come on, girls.
368
00:18:16,992 --> 00:18:18,927
I'll make the tea.
369
00:18:23,927 --> 00:18:27,991
You know,
something odd happened today.
370
00:18:27,992 --> 00:18:30,991
I didn't tell you,
I didn't want to worry you.
371
00:18:30,992 --> 00:18:33,991
OK, so now I'm worried.
372
00:18:33,992 --> 00:18:35,991
Yeah, well, I discovered, erm...
373
00:18:35,992 --> 00:18:40,659
Wendy and Sandra in the wardrobe.
374
00:18:40,660 --> 00:18:41,991
What?!
375
00:18:41,992 --> 00:18:43,991
In my house. In Celia's wardrobe.
376
00:18:43,992 --> 00:18:45,259
Phil.
377
00:18:45,260 --> 00:18:49,926
They said they were trying to cure
Wendy's claustrophobia.
378
00:18:49,927 --> 00:18:50,991
That's what they said.
379
00:18:50,992 --> 00:18:52,125
Phil.
380
00:18:52,126 --> 00:18:53,992
This is another one of your dreams.
381
00:18:54,992 --> 00:18:56,992
For all I know it's true.
382
00:18:57,993 --> 00:19:02,991
I wonder if it might be a good idea
for you to go and see someone.
383
00:19:02,992 --> 00:19:04,125
Someone else?!
384
00:19:04,126 --> 00:19:07,926
I'm seeing far too many people
at the moment and most of them
385
00:19:07,927 --> 00:19:11,527
in my house! Seeing fewer people,
that might do the trick.
386
00:19:14,660 --> 00:19:16,991
Queenie's worried about Phil.
387
00:19:16,992 --> 00:19:17,992
She thinks he's losing it.
388
00:19:17,993 --> 00:19:20,259
Why? Has something happened?
389
00:19:20,260 --> 00:19:22,793
Have you noticed him behaving
strangely?
390
00:19:22,794 --> 00:19:23,991
Well, yes.
391
00:19:23,992 --> 00:19:25,991
There have been a few things.
392
00:19:25,992 --> 00:19:29,991
For example - last night he said
he found you and Wendy in his
393
00:19:29,992 --> 00:19:33,991
wardrobe trying to cure Wendy's
claustrophobia.
394
00:19:33,992 --> 00:19:35,991
Did he? Oh, dear.
395
00:19:35,992 --> 00:19:38,992
Yes, it's a bit worrying.
Mm.
396
00:19:44,992 --> 00:19:47,992
Oh... Oh...
397
00:19:50,992 --> 00:19:53,991
Those seats of yours aren't very
comfortable,
398
00:19:53,992 --> 00:19:55,926
are they, for such a swanky car?
399
00:19:55,927 --> 00:19:59,991
Well, they're specifically designed
like that to discourage
400
00:19:59,992 --> 00:20:01,991
people from asking for lifts.
401
00:20:01,992 --> 00:20:04,991
Yoo-hoo!
Auntie Joan.
402
00:20:04,992 --> 00:20:08,991
I'm here!
Joan! Happy Christmas!
403
00:20:08,992 --> 00:20:11,125
Happy Christmas, Edith.
404
00:20:11,126 --> 00:20:14,991
Have you put a bit of weight on?
Hello.
405
00:20:14,992 --> 00:20:15,992
Happy Christmas, Sandra.
406
00:20:15,993 --> 00:20:17,991
Happy Christmas, Auntie Joan.
407
00:20:17,992 --> 00:20:19,991
I see you've been at the
mince pies too.
408
00:20:19,992 --> 00:20:21,125
No change there then.
409
00:20:21,126 --> 00:20:22,991
Ooh...
410
00:20:22,992 --> 00:20:23,992
Just a few little things.
411
00:20:23,993 --> 00:20:26,125
Oh, how lovely. You shouldn't have.
412
00:20:26,126 --> 00:20:28,991
Well, they're mostly recycled
from last year.
413
00:20:28,992 --> 00:20:30,991
You'll recognise the bath salts.
414
00:20:30,992 --> 00:20:33,125
I make no bones about it,
it's the thought that counts.
415
00:20:33,126 --> 00:20:34,991
Evidently.
416
00:20:34,992 --> 00:20:38,392
And she complained the moment
I picked her up.
417
00:20:38,393 --> 00:20:39,991
She lives alone - I suppose.
418
00:20:39,992 --> 00:20:43,125
Yes, and a totally sterile
environment, you know.
419
00:20:43,126 --> 00:20:46,991
All life forms have fled years ago.
420
00:20:46,992 --> 00:20:49,991
Are we eating before the
Queen's speech?
421
00:20:49,992 --> 00:20:54,659
Like we did last year when we had to
rush and I got terrible indigestion.
422
00:20:54,660 --> 00:20:56,991
Or after?
After.
423
00:20:56,992 --> 00:21:01,991
Oh, good! Well, I've brought my
charcoal tablets just in case.
424
00:21:01,992 --> 00:21:04,793
Right,
well, is there anything I can do?
425
00:21:04,794 --> 00:21:07,991
Why don't you, erm, take those into
the living room,
426
00:21:07,992 --> 00:21:09,991
pop them under the tree with
the rest of them.
427
00:21:09,992 --> 00:21:10,992
Someone'll give you a drink.
428
00:21:10,993 --> 00:21:13,991
Roger and Jack Dugdale are in there.
429
00:21:13,992 --> 00:21:16,991
Jack? Dr Dugdale?
430
00:21:16,992 --> 00:21:18,991
Standing by with the stomach pump.
431
00:21:18,992 --> 00:21:22,991
Well,
if you're sure I can't do anything.
432
00:21:22,992 --> 00:21:24,991
No, everything's under control.
433
00:21:24,992 --> 00:21:26,991
You go through and relax.
434
00:21:26,992 --> 00:21:29,527
I'm no good in other people's
kitchens.
435
00:21:31,260 --> 00:21:32,991
Argh!
436
00:21:32,992 --> 00:21:33,992
Argh!
437
00:21:35,992 --> 00:21:37,926
Ah, Joan!
438
00:21:37,927 --> 00:21:39,125
I've come to bag the best seat.
439
00:21:39,126 --> 00:21:40,991
Ah, good.
Can I get you a drink?
440
00:21:40,992 --> 00:21:43,392
I'm afraid we don't have any
Novichok.
441
00:21:43,393 --> 00:21:45,991
Erm, well, Amontillado as long
as it's chilled.
442
00:21:45,992 --> 00:21:48,259
Chilled, yes.
This is Jack, my very good friend.
443
00:21:48,260 --> 00:21:50,991
Hello. How do you do?
You must be Dr Dugdale.
444
00:21:50,992 --> 00:21:51,992
Yes, indeed.
445
00:21:51,993 --> 00:21:54,991
Pleased to meet you, Doctor.
446
00:21:54,992 --> 00:21:57,991
Do you know, I get these
terrible cramps in my legs
447
00:21:57,992 --> 00:21:59,991
when I'm in bed at night.
448
00:21:59,992 --> 00:22:01,660
I've tried everyth...
449
00:22:02,992 --> 00:22:05,991
Well, that tree, it's...
450
00:22:05,992 --> 00:22:09,991
It's far too big!
It's bent right over!
451
00:22:09,992 --> 00:22:12,991
Yes, well, it's certainly
grown a bit since it got here.
452
00:22:12,992 --> 00:22:14,991
Whatever was Edith thinking?
453
00:22:14,992 --> 00:22:18,991
I can't watch the Queen's speech
with a penguin dangling in
454
00:22:18,992 --> 00:22:22,125
front of her!
It's disrespectful.
455
00:22:22,126 --> 00:22:25,991
No, it isn't, it's the best
Christmas tree ever and I'm
456
00:22:25,992 --> 00:22:28,259
going to pop this on the top and
then straighten it up a bit.
457
00:22:28,260 --> 00:22:29,991
Let me see that.
458
00:22:29,992 --> 00:22:31,991
Here!
459
00:22:31,992 --> 00:22:33,991
That's mine!
460
00:22:33,992 --> 00:22:35,992
That's my fairy!
461
00:22:35,993 --> 00:22:38,991
That's Cristabelle.
462
00:22:38,992 --> 00:22:42,659
My granny gave me that when
I had mumps. It's not Edith's.
463
00:22:42,660 --> 00:22:44,991
It has no place being here.
464
00:22:44,992 --> 00:22:48,991
And it's certainly not going on that
tree! It's a valuable antique!
465
00:22:48,992 --> 00:22:50,991
Just give it to me!
466
00:22:50,992 --> 00:22:52,991
Ahhhh! You give it me!
467
00:22:52,992 --> 00:22:55,992
Priceless!
468
00:22:58,993 --> 00:23:00,992
Oh! Oh!
469
00:23:01,992 --> 00:23:03,991
Bloody hell!
470
00:23:03,992 --> 00:23:07,991
Right, well, if the telly's broken,
that's it! I'm going.
471
00:23:07,992 --> 00:23:10,392
Yeah, yeah, look at that.
It's totally bust.
472
00:23:10,393 --> 00:23:12,926
Ah...
Ah, what a shame! Never mind.
473
00:23:12,927 --> 00:23:13,991
I'll, er, I'll get my keys.
474
00:23:13,992 --> 00:23:15,991
I could run Joan back if you like?
475
00:23:15,992 --> 00:23:17,991
Well,
that's very kind of you, Dr Dugdale.
476
00:23:17,992 --> 00:23:20,991
I'm sorry, but I'm not missing the
Queen's speech for anything.
477
00:23:20,992 --> 00:23:21,992
Certainly not!
478
00:23:21,993 --> 00:23:23,991
What's going on?
479
00:23:23,992 --> 00:23:26,991
Oh, erm, Roger's Christmas tree
attacked the television set
480
00:23:26,992 --> 00:23:28,991
and that's caput.
481
00:23:28,992 --> 00:23:31,991
And dear old Jack's just going to
drive your sister back home
482
00:23:31,992 --> 00:23:34,991
so she can watch the Queen's speech
on her television.
483
00:23:34,992 --> 00:23:36,991
No.
Nobody's driving Joan anywhere.
484
00:23:36,992 --> 00:23:40,926
We can bring the small television
down from the bedroom.
485
00:23:40,927 --> 00:23:44,927
Oh! Why didn't I think of that?!
What a good idea!
486
00:23:45,992 --> 00:23:49,259
Ho, ho, ho. Thank you.
487
00:23:49,260 --> 00:23:52,992
MUSIC: Good King Wenceslas
488
00:24:13,992 --> 00:24:16,392
Queenie, you're still in the
Salvation Army!
489
00:24:16,393 --> 00:24:18,259
Guest appearance by public demand.
490
00:24:18,260 --> 00:24:20,793
Hello, everyone. Happy Christmas!
491
00:24:20,794 --> 00:24:23,991
Aye, merry Christmas. Ding, dong
merrily on high and all that, eh?
492
00:24:23,992 --> 00:24:27,125
Phil, give them something.
OK, yeah.
493
00:24:27,126 --> 00:24:29,991
Good will to all men, Phil.
Watch out for the moths.
494
00:24:29,992 --> 00:24:32,526
There we go!
A worthy cause I suppose.
495
00:24:32,527 --> 00:24:35,991
Anyone for a mince pie?
Ooh, yes, please! That'd be lovely.
496
00:24:35,992 --> 00:24:38,992
MUSIC: Gloria in Excelsis Deo
497
00:24:39,992 --> 00:24:43,992
GENERAL CHATTER AND LAUGHTER
498
00:24:50,992 --> 00:24:53,991
Yoo-hoo!
499
00:24:53,992 --> 00:24:56,991
The Queen's speech is going to be on
in five minutes for anyone
500
00:24:56,992 --> 00:24:57,992
who's interested.
501
00:24:57,993 --> 00:25:01,991
The tiny screen will make you squint
but I don't suppose she'll notice.
502
00:25:01,992 --> 00:25:03,991
I never miss the Queen's speech.
503
00:25:03,992 --> 00:25:07,393
MUSIC: In The Bleak Midwinter
504
00:25:08,992 --> 00:25:11,991
Happy Christmas, darling.
505
00:25:11,992 --> 00:25:13,992
Happy Christmas, Phil.
506
00:25:30,992 --> 00:25:33,992
Happy Christmas to you too, Celia.
507
00:25:41,992 --> 00:25:44,991
Have I the right to hold you?
508
00:25:44,992 --> 00:25:47,991
You know I've always told you
509
00:25:47,992 --> 00:25:52,992
I've loved you from the very start
510
00:25:53,991 --> 00:25:56,391
Come right back
511
00:25:56,393 --> 00:25:57,991
I just can't bear it
512
00:25:57,992 --> 00:26:01,991
I've got this love
and I long to share it
513
00:26:01,992 --> 00:26:03,991
Come right back
514
00:26:03,992 --> 00:26:06,526
Right back where you belong
515
00:26:06,527 --> 00:26:08,992
Oh, yeah, you belong.
516
00:26:09,042 --> 00:26:13,592
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