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Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome your host
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00:00:08,120 --> 00:00:11,240
and founder, Mrs Ivy Mittelfart!
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00:00:12,560 --> 00:00:14,240
Well, howdy, y'all!
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May I say how wonderful it is
to be here among so many old,
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00:00:21,200 --> 00:00:22,919
old friends.
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00:00:22,920 --> 00:00:25,919
And what do all these old
friends have in common?
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00:00:25,920 --> 00:00:29,159
Well, here's a hint,
it's green, it folds
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and it rhymes with truck roads of honey!
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Seriously, give generously...!
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Oh, hey, over here.
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00:00:44,080 --> 00:00:45,359
Well...?
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00:00:45,360 --> 00:00:47,159
We found him.
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00:00:47,160 --> 00:00:48,639
Ken Thompson.
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00:00:48,640 --> 00:00:51,479
He's an attorney, lives
in Litchfield, England.
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00:00:51,480 --> 00:00:54,399
My, my! Ken Thompson.
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00:00:54,400 --> 00:00:55,879
Wife, Lorna,
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00:00:55,880 --> 00:00:57,600
kids, Rachel, Dylan, Sid.
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Funny story.
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00:00:58,882 --> 00:01:02,679
Seven years ago, Rachel, the
daughter, married this eccentric
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00:01:02,680 --> 00:01:04,919
hippie, a guy named Cuckoo.
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00:01:04,920 --> 00:01:06,698
- They...
- How long does this story last?
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00:01:06,699 --> 00:01:08,135
It's fairly convoluted.
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00:01:08,136 --> 00:01:10,720
Just give me the file, I'll
catch up on the plane.
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My, my.
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I have a brother.
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Sync and corrections by btsix
www.addic7ed.com
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00:01:23,366 --> 00:01:25,525
So, tell us about your trip, love.
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00:01:25,526 --> 00:01:28,879
Sierra Leone was so
intense, it made me realise
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I need to get my shit together.
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Start working for what I believe in,
otherwise, the world is forever
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going to be run by boring,
white, middle-aged men.
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- Sorry, Dad.
- No, I'm sorry for all injustice ever.
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Point is, I'm an independent woman.
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The world needs to feel my power.
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You still staying with us?
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00:01:46,040 --> 00:01:48,439
- Yeah, is that all right?
- Where's Dale?
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00:01:48,440 --> 00:01:51,132
Yeah, I'm sorry, Sid, er...
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He's gone.
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Did you make him leave?
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- Speak.
- Hi, am I speaking with Ken Thompson?
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- Yep.
- Great.
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00:02:00,680 --> 00:02:03,408
- Ken, how's it going today?
- Yes, it's great, thank you.
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00:02:03,409 --> 00:02:04,915
So great that it's going great.
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00:02:04,916 --> 00:02:07,268
I'm just reaching out about your
meeting with Ivy Mittelfart
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00:02:07,269 --> 00:02:09,959
- next week. She's super-excited.
- Never heard of her.
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00:02:09,960 --> 00:02:11,526
So you're saying you're not
going to meet with her when
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she comes to the UK next Wednesday?
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Yes, as I've already said. Look,
can you go through my secretary?
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It's the weekend over here
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and in England we have this
thing called not working.
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OK, I'll talk to your assistant
and we can arrange another time
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for you and your sister to meet.
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Sorry?
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My sister?
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A sister!
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I've got a sister and
she coming to see us!
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It's exciting!
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I always felt sorry for
you, Ken, an only child,
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huge and isolated.
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00:02:39,720 --> 00:02:43,829
So your biological dad, Big Jack,
had another kid in America.
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00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:45,611
Yeah, before he had his
fling with my mum.
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00:02:45,612 --> 00:02:47,359
I don't know why she's
coming to see us now,
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00:02:47,360 --> 00:02:48,719
she obviously wants something.
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00:02:48,720 --> 00:02:51,159
I'd say that's unlikely.
"The Mittelfart Foundation
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is a charitable endeavour dedicated
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to the improvement of human life,
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founded by billionaire Ron
Mittelfart and wife Ivy."
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Sorry, did you say billionaire?
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00:03:01,677 --> 00:03:02,678
Yeah!
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00:03:02,679 --> 00:03:04,932
Bloody hell, we should probably tidy up.
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00:03:05,737 --> 00:03:07,378
He's a financier.
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00:03:07,379 --> 00:03:09,679
Yeah, that's the sort that
prey on developing economies.
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00:03:09,680 --> 00:03:11,751
- Ehhh.
- She's probably got a blinking yacht!
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00:03:11,752 --> 00:03:13,738
- Mum!
- Oh, my God.
75
00:03:13,739 --> 00:03:16,539
She probably knows Barack
Obama. We'd get on, me and him.
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00:03:16,540 --> 00:03:18,219
Yeah, he'd like me, Barack.
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00:03:18,220 --> 00:03:20,417
Not so worried about having
a sister now, are you?
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00:03:20,418 --> 00:03:22,500
I'm getting used to it gradually!
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00:03:25,740 --> 00:03:28,099
Tonight, we shall be
eating a la gourmand!
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To start, your guilty
pleasure, scallops.
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00:03:30,620 --> 00:03:32,499
Ooh, and a bacon cream!
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I love that stuff. Like pork toothpaste!
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What a fantastic summer evening!
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God, Mum, I like this outfit!
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Aw, thanks, Dyl!
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Smells glorious, big guy,
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00:03:45,420 --> 00:03:48,659
and I have got the perfect Malbec,
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High Country, stuffed
with blackcurrants.
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00:03:51,278 --> 00:03:55,168
It's like Ribena grew
up and got naughty.
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00:03:55,169 --> 00:03:58,299
Wow, I have always wanted a child
from the shit bit of the '80s.
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00:03:58,300 --> 00:04:00,179
So, what time's this aunt arriving?
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00:04:00,180 --> 00:04:02,339
I'm struggling to shift
that converted windmill out
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00:04:02,340 --> 00:04:03,809
by Fradley, need a high-worth purchaser.
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00:04:03,810 --> 00:04:05,099
Er...
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00:04:05,100 --> 00:04:07,339
- Rachel, you're back!
- Dylan!
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00:04:07,340 --> 00:04:09,899
Yeah, I'd heard you'd become
an estate agent, no surprise.
97
00:04:09,900 --> 00:04:11,619
Yeah, well, it's a job, isn't it?
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00:04:11,620 --> 00:04:14,619
Beats being the kind of loser
that's 27 and still living at home
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with their paren...
100
00:04:15,780 --> 00:04:17,819
Oh, that's exactly your
situation, isn't it?
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Funny.
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OK, all right.
103
00:04:20,140 --> 00:04:23,379
Now, remember, my sister is
a pretty classy customer,
104
00:04:23,380 --> 00:04:26,540
so, everyone, just pretend to be
better than you actually are.
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00:04:29,980 --> 00:04:31,819
I'll met by moonlight, proud Ken.
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Oh, God.
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Saw candles in the kitchen,
looked like a party.
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00:04:35,860 --> 00:04:37,379
So, flagon of home-brew
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00:04:37,380 --> 00:04:40,429
and a brace of pheasant I
clipped on the morning drive.
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The tyre tracks will wash off.
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It's a family dinner, Steve.
112
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Really? Ain't no room for Uncle Steve?
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You and I are not related.
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Now, beat it, you creepy fraggle!
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She's here!
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Oh, bajambas. Sweet bajambas,
do I like that coconut!
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Oh, Ken!
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The image, the image of Daddy!
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It's like he's been born
again, brought up in England
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and strapped on a belly!
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Oh!
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00:05:25,460 --> 00:05:28,609
Ken, brother, can we hug?
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I don't see why not?
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- Aww.
- Aww.
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00:05:34,100 --> 00:05:35,739
Well, this is my family.
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- This is my wife, Lorna.
- Hello.
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00:05:37,420 --> 00:05:39,219
- My daughter, Rachel.
- Hello.
128
00:05:39,220 --> 00:05:41,540
Look at you, tiny, tiny girls!
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And your son, mmm, quite the young stud!
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00:05:46,660 --> 00:05:48,140
Oh, no, he's only four.
131
00:05:49,940 --> 00:05:51,220
Oh, no, that's Dylan.
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00:05:53,340 --> 00:05:56,219
This is Steve, he is not
a member of the family.
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Steve Chance.
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00:05:58,060 --> 00:06:01,379
Uber driver, unlicensed
medic, aspirant warlock.
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00:06:01,380 --> 00:06:03,179
I have many girlfriends.
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00:06:03,180 --> 00:06:04,499
OK.
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00:06:04,500 --> 00:06:05,700
My turn!
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00:06:07,180 --> 00:06:10,499
This is Tigran, my PA.
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00:06:10,500 --> 00:06:12,099
Oh!
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And this...
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is Miss Tigglytopps.
142
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Massive!
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We are best friends!
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Aren't we, precious?
145
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Well, look, let's, erm...
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Let's all go inside.
147
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Well, I do have a few bags.
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Oh, not a problem. We'll help, won't we?
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Absolutely!
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Thank you!
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- Ahh.
- Aww.
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Sweet, sweet bajambas!
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Here you are.
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Welcome, sis.
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Oh, wow!
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Would you look at this?
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Modest!
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But I bet to you guys
it feels like a palace,
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am I right?
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Yes, I'm right!
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Munchkinland!
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00:07:02,980 --> 00:07:04,579
When I was 18,
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00:07:04,580 --> 00:07:07,979
I dreamed of doing something
really good for the world.
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00:07:07,980 --> 00:07:10,299
But then I realised I was
extremely good-looking,
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so I decided to model.
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00:07:11,920 --> 00:07:14,859
Modelling! Ooh, I bet that was exciting.
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00:07:14,860 --> 00:07:17,419
Oh, Lorna, modelling is so superficial.
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00:07:17,420 --> 00:07:20,059
But you do meet a lot of rich men.
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00:07:20,060 --> 00:07:23,059
I remember the day that I
met Ron, then I found out
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he was a billionaire, it was love!
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00:07:25,540 --> 00:07:26,579
- Oh.
- Mm!
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00:07:26,580 --> 00:07:29,219
Two weeks later, Whitney Houston
was singing at our wedding
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for crack money!
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Oh!
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00:07:31,500 --> 00:07:34,619
But enough about me, tell me about you.
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Oh! OK, well,
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00:07:36,900 --> 00:07:41,339
I grew up around here and I
head up a law firm round here.
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00:07:41,340 --> 00:07:43,859
Erm, then I changed job,
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00:07:43,860 --> 00:07:46,540
and now I'm at a new place round here.
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00:07:47,820 --> 00:07:49,019
Doing law.
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Erm, yeah.
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Isn't it fascinating?
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Here, my life has been so
extraordinary, and you,
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with half the same
genes, are so ordinary!
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00:08:00,340 --> 00:08:02,220
I find that sort of beautiful!
186
00:08:03,460 --> 00:08:04,740
Ah, yes!
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00:08:06,780 --> 00:08:10,099
Yeah, I suppose it is, it's
sort of beautiful, isn't it?
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00:08:10,100 --> 00:08:12,099
Yeah!
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00:08:12,100 --> 00:08:15,179
Don't worry, I'll get her down,
she just gets very upset
190
00:08:15,180 --> 00:08:17,580
when we fly. I'll give her some Xanax.
191
00:08:20,180 --> 00:08:21,659
She's all right, isn't she?
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00:08:21,660 --> 00:08:22,740
She seems nice.
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00:08:26,900 --> 00:08:28,139
Yes, gorgeous.
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00:08:28,140 --> 00:08:31,539
I know Ron hasn't called us.
195
00:08:31,540 --> 00:08:34,899
But trust me, honey, he would
not abandon us like this.
196
00:08:34,900 --> 00:08:36,819
Now, what about your mindfulness?
197
00:08:36,820 --> 00:08:39,539
Close your eyes, feel your breath.
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00:08:39,540 --> 00:08:40,859
Deep breath in...
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00:08:41,980 --> 00:08:43,259
Deep breath out.
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00:08:43,260 --> 00:08:44,939
That's right!
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00:08:44,940 --> 00:08:47,059
Just notice your breath.
202
00:08:47,060 --> 00:08:48,499
Rachel!
203
00:08:48,500 --> 00:08:50,139
Talking to your dog there?
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00:08:50,140 --> 00:08:51,699
Oh, yes.
205
00:08:51,700 --> 00:08:54,859
We talk all the time, but
usually not in public
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00:08:54,860 --> 00:08:58,779
because when you tell people that
your dog is your best friend
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00:08:58,780 --> 00:09:02,940
and most trusted adviser, they
think you're kind of crazy!
208
00:09:04,180 --> 00:09:06,499
Would you look at you?!
209
00:09:06,500 --> 00:09:10,019
You know, I think you have a touch
of the family's good looks.
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00:09:10,020 --> 00:09:11,459
Just a touch,
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00:09:11,460 --> 00:09:12,780
but it's there.
212
00:09:14,300 --> 00:09:18,540
Oh, honey, come on in and tell
Aunt Ivy all about the boys.
213
00:09:22,460 --> 00:09:26,059
Erm, well, I'm just focusing
on my career at the moment.
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00:09:26,060 --> 00:09:27,819
I work in charity.
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00:09:27,820 --> 00:09:29,859
- Oh, I've done charity all my life.
- Yeah?
216
00:09:29,860 --> 00:09:32,139
You know, sometimes
it's not the system...
217
00:09:32,140 --> 00:09:34,660
...sometimes they are just lazy.
218
00:09:36,140 --> 00:09:37,739
Are they?
219
00:09:37,740 --> 00:09:39,899
Now, you may think this sounds shallow,
220
00:09:39,900 --> 00:09:43,779
but it seems to me that you
are trying to sell this,
221
00:09:43,780 --> 00:09:46,059
when you should be selling THIS!
222
00:09:46,060 --> 00:09:50,379
Because this seems like
a Grade C commodity,
223
00:09:50,380 --> 00:09:52,940
while this, wooh! Solid B.
224
00:09:54,180 --> 00:09:55,620
Great chat, Aunt Ivy.
225
00:09:56,700 --> 00:09:58,380
I'm just going to...
226
00:10:00,460 --> 00:10:02,819
Come on, Miss Tigglytopps,
let's snuggle!
227
00:10:02,820 --> 00:10:04,500
Yes, you're a snuggle bunny!
228
00:10:09,900 --> 00:10:11,460
- To us.
- To us.
229
00:10:15,460 --> 00:10:17,140
I must say, it is...
230
00:10:18,740 --> 00:10:20,819
...pretty cool to have a sister!
231
00:10:20,820 --> 00:10:22,619
I know, look at us!
232
00:10:22,620 --> 00:10:24,739
To Daddy.
233
00:10:24,740 --> 00:10:26,139
To Big Jack.
234
00:10:26,140 --> 00:10:28,899
May he be in heaven playing his harp,
235
00:10:28,900 --> 00:10:31,260
impregnating all the angels.
236
00:10:32,540 --> 00:10:33,980
You're funny!
237
00:10:35,420 --> 00:10:37,579
We should probably get down to business.
238
00:10:37,580 --> 00:10:39,099
Oh, absolutely!
239
00:10:39,100 --> 00:10:40,339
What business?
240
00:10:40,340 --> 00:10:42,979
You must be wondering why I'm here.
241
00:10:42,980 --> 00:10:44,020
Well...
242
00:10:45,020 --> 00:10:47,499
...you came to see me, I presumed.
243
00:10:47,500 --> 00:10:50,219
Of course, that, mostly that!
244
00:10:50,220 --> 00:10:53,819
There is another thing, a little
proposition I have for you.
245
00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:56,099
Oh! OK.
246
00:10:56,100 --> 00:10:57,659
I'm listening.
247
00:10:57,660 --> 00:11:00,020
Ken, how do you feel about death?
248
00:11:01,580 --> 00:11:03,739
I would say...
249
00:11:03,740 --> 00:11:05,299
...I'm not a fan!
250
00:11:05,300 --> 00:11:06,379
Me, too.
251
00:11:06,380 --> 00:11:07,979
Life good, death bad.
252
00:11:07,980 --> 00:11:09,939
- That is my unique take on it.
- Right.
253
00:11:09,940 --> 00:11:13,859
So, what if I were to tell
you, you don't have to die?
254
00:11:13,860 --> 00:11:14,979
Well, I'd say,
255
00:11:14,980 --> 00:11:18,459
"Someone get this woman away
from me, she's insane! Ha-ha!"
256
00:11:18,460 --> 00:11:22,499
Ken, I'm serious. Mine and Ron's
foundation studies genes in ageing.
257
00:11:22,500 --> 00:11:25,939
Now, our shared father possessed
a fascinating genotype.
258
00:11:25,940 --> 00:11:28,739
Our scientists discovered that
for people with his genes,
259
00:11:28,740 --> 00:11:31,779
there is a chance in time
they could wholly eliminate
260
00:11:31,780 --> 00:11:33,539
the effects of ageing.
261
00:11:33,540 --> 00:11:34,580
What?
262
00:11:35,740 --> 00:11:37,859
So we could live forever?
263
00:11:37,860 --> 00:11:39,979
No! You've got me all wrong.
264
00:11:39,980 --> 00:11:41,019
Oh, well, good!
265
00:11:41,020 --> 00:11:42,459
I, could live forever.
266
00:11:42,460 --> 00:11:44,379
Me, Ivy Mittelfart.
267
00:11:44,380 --> 00:11:48,259
I could be young and
beautiful and alive forever.
268
00:11:48,260 --> 00:11:51,779
All I need from my brand-new brother
is the chance to do research
269
00:11:51,780 --> 00:11:53,020
on his dead body.
270
00:11:54,140 --> 00:11:55,259
But I'm not dead!
271
00:11:55,260 --> 00:11:56,579
Not yet!
272
00:11:56,580 --> 00:11:59,899
But I'm saying, I give you
a fat load of cash now,
273
00:11:59,900 --> 00:12:02,499
and then when you croak, my
foundation gets in there
274
00:12:02,500 --> 00:12:04,979
and does experiments on your corpse.
275
00:12:04,980 --> 00:12:06,020
Simple!
276
00:12:08,260 --> 00:12:10,099
I'm sorry, are you...?
277
00:12:10,100 --> 00:12:13,739
Are you offering to pay
to acquire my flesh?
278
00:12:13,740 --> 00:12:16,259
When you're dead. Jeez!
279
00:12:16,260 --> 00:12:18,579
You're making it sound so strange!
280
00:12:18,580 --> 00:12:22,179
It IS strange, it's very strange!
281
00:12:22,180 --> 00:12:24,339
Anyway, who says I'm going to die first?
282
00:12:24,340 --> 00:12:25,379
Oof...
283
00:12:25,380 --> 00:12:26,739
Oh.
284
00:12:26,740 --> 00:12:31,140
Now, what figure would
you put on your corpse?
285
00:12:32,180 --> 00:12:34,859
And don't try to stiff me,
I'm not paying by the pound.
286
00:12:34,860 --> 00:12:37,859
Wow, you are cold!
287
00:12:37,860 --> 00:12:41,059
I'm going to make you an offer, we'll
go by the bank in the morning.
288
00:12:41,060 --> 00:12:44,299
I'll pay you in gold,
that'll be fun, won't it?
289
00:12:44,300 --> 00:12:46,700
Plus, it's good for me, no paper trail.
290
00:12:48,900 --> 00:12:51,459
Well, you don't have to
worry about a paper trail,
291
00:12:51,460 --> 00:12:53,900
because my answer is no!
292
00:12:55,100 --> 00:12:58,860
Ken Thompson's cadaver is not for sale.
293
00:13:11,180 --> 00:13:12,220
Jesus!
294
00:13:13,340 --> 00:13:14,499
How much?
295
00:13:14,500 --> 00:13:16,139
200 grand!
296
00:13:16,140 --> 00:13:17,499
And...
297
00:13:17,500 --> 00:13:18,739
Run it by me again, you said...
298
00:13:18,740 --> 00:13:21,619
It's an insult, thinking she can
just turn up here and buy me.
299
00:13:21,620 --> 00:13:23,100
Absolutely, it's terrible.
300
00:13:25,420 --> 00:13:26,939
I mean,
301
00:13:26,940 --> 00:13:28,139
you would be dead.
302
00:13:28,140 --> 00:13:29,819
I thought I was going to have a sister,
303
00:13:29,820 --> 00:13:31,499
I thought we'd have a relationship.
304
00:13:31,500 --> 00:13:33,819
Well, do you still want a relationship?
305
00:13:33,820 --> 00:13:34,939
Not after this!
306
00:13:34,940 --> 00:13:37,419
So what's the difference? We'd
just have to burn you anyway.
307
00:13:37,420 --> 00:13:40,299
I'm sorry, I hadn't stopped
to consider how inconvenient
308
00:13:40,300 --> 00:13:42,539
not selling my corpse would be for you.
309
00:13:42,540 --> 00:13:44,579
Ken, think what we could do!
310
00:13:44,580 --> 00:13:48,059
We could take a year off, travel,
311
00:13:48,060 --> 00:13:49,460
build that conservatory.
312
00:13:50,580 --> 00:13:52,700
You would sell my body
for a conservatory?
313
00:13:53,700 --> 00:13:55,619
Well...
314
00:13:55,620 --> 00:13:56,660
Really, Lorn.
315
00:13:59,780 --> 00:14:01,380
You could get a barge.
316
00:14:05,100 --> 00:14:06,220
A barge...
317
00:14:08,940 --> 00:14:11,219
So glad you saw sense.
318
00:14:11,220 --> 00:14:13,979
Well, you help me out, I help you out,
319
00:14:13,980 --> 00:14:16,299
it's just families helping
each other out, isn't it?
320
00:14:16,300 --> 00:14:18,619
Just admit it, you're
greedy for the cash.
321
00:14:18,620 --> 00:14:20,899
Free money, you love it, don't you?
322
00:14:20,900 --> 00:14:23,260
No, I just know a good
deal when I see one.
323
00:14:24,820 --> 00:14:27,539
I bet I could get you to do anything.
324
00:14:27,540 --> 00:14:30,420
I'll give you ｣100 if
you howl like a wolf.
325
00:14:32,740 --> 00:14:35,139
Well, that shows how much you know.
326
00:14:35,140 --> 00:14:36,420
Keep it.
327
00:14:38,580 --> 00:14:39,620
200.
328
00:14:40,860 --> 00:14:42,859
I'm fine, thanks.
329
00:14:42,860 --> 00:14:43,899
300.
330
00:14:43,900 --> 00:14:46,219
No, thank you.
331
00:14:46,220 --> 00:14:47,819
400.
332
00:14:47,820 --> 00:14:53,219
And that is my final offer, and
it better be one hell of a howl.
333
00:14:53,220 --> 00:14:54,260
Heh.
334
00:15:00,180 --> 00:15:03,739
AWOOOOOOO!
335
00:15:03,740 --> 00:15:04,899
Hello.
336
00:15:04,900 --> 00:15:08,899
Mrs Mittelfart, I have 400,000, in gold,
337
00:15:08,900 --> 00:15:10,659
that's two each, I believe.
338
00:15:11,740 --> 00:15:14,219
Ah, I'm sorry, I should just get this.
339
00:15:16,100 --> 00:15:17,699
Go on, touch it.
340
00:15:17,700 --> 00:15:19,540
Touch your lovely gold.
341
00:15:24,380 --> 00:15:26,099
So shiny.
342
00:15:26,100 --> 00:15:29,380
So, I'll fetch the paperwork, you
make yourselves comfortable.
343
00:15:32,620 --> 00:15:34,299
So, where are you headed to next?
344
00:15:34,300 --> 00:15:35,619
I don't know.
345
00:15:35,620 --> 00:15:38,179
Miami, Monaco, Dubai...
346
00:15:38,180 --> 00:15:39,619
All of the places for twats.
347
00:15:39,620 --> 00:15:40,699
Oh, please.
348
00:15:40,700 --> 00:15:42,900
I don't need your approval.
349
00:15:44,260 --> 00:15:45,299
Hello?
350
00:15:45,300 --> 00:15:46,619
Hi, David!
351
00:15:46,620 --> 00:15:48,459
Right.
352
00:15:48,460 --> 00:15:49,739
Got it.
353
00:15:49,740 --> 00:15:51,499
I'm going.
354
00:15:51,500 --> 00:15:53,219
- Grab the gold.
- What?
355
00:15:53,220 --> 00:15:55,700
Grab the gold, man, and hurry!
356
00:15:57,060 --> 00:15:58,179
Um...
357
00:16:04,780 --> 00:16:06,139
What the hell is going on?
358
00:16:06,140 --> 00:16:07,299
Nothing's going on,
359
00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:10,099
it's just that that room was
a little claustrophobic.
360
00:16:10,100 --> 00:16:11,300
Get in there.
361
00:16:15,660 --> 00:16:16,733
What are you doing?
362
00:16:16,734 --> 00:16:19,539
OK, just don't overreact.
363
00:16:19,540 --> 00:16:20,944
That was our attorney on the phone,
364
00:16:20,945 --> 00:16:23,139
and Ron's been arrested for fraud.
365
00:16:23,140 --> 00:16:25,019
Fraud? What kind of fraud?
366
00:16:25,020 --> 00:16:27,339
Some kind of bond scheme
he's been running for years
367
00:16:27,340 --> 00:16:29,819
involving certain
Ponzi-like accumulators.
368
00:16:29,820 --> 00:16:32,019
I just found out about
it for the first time.
369
00:16:32,020 --> 00:16:34,139
It was not that long a phone call.
370
00:16:34,140 --> 00:16:37,859
Quiet! They've frozen my
assets and I need that cash.
371
00:16:37,860 --> 00:16:40,459
You walk out with the
gold, I'll distract them.
372
00:16:40,460 --> 00:16:42,339
Absolutely not! That's theft!
373
00:16:42,340 --> 00:16:43,499
No, it's not.
374
00:16:43,500 --> 00:16:46,579
As far as they know, we think
the gold's still mine.
375
00:16:46,580 --> 00:16:49,539
And until they now we know
it's not, it's all innocent.
376
00:16:49,540 --> 00:16:52,219
I am not walking out of the bank.
They've got metal detectors.
377
00:16:52,220 --> 00:16:53,859
Didn't you take chemistry?
378
00:16:53,860 --> 00:16:56,059
Gold is a non-magnetic metal.
379
00:16:56,060 --> 00:16:57,979
They can detect it!
380
00:16:57,980 --> 00:16:59,459
Really?
381
00:16:59,460 --> 00:17:01,859
Yeah. Yeah, I think I do remember that.
382
00:17:01,860 --> 00:17:03,780
Just think of the moolah, brother.
383
00:17:10,700 --> 00:17:13,019
Oh, hi, guys!
384
00:17:13,020 --> 00:17:14,379
What's up?
385
00:17:14,380 --> 00:17:17,979
You were gone so long, I thought
I would just take a look around!
386
00:17:17,980 --> 00:17:21,299
Mrs Mittelfart, there's
been an... irregularity.
387
00:17:21,300 --> 00:17:23,499
Might we step back into my office?
388
00:17:23,500 --> 00:17:25,380
It would be my pleasure, sir.
389
00:17:55,780 --> 00:17:56,820
I, erm...
390
00:17:58,020 --> 00:18:00,499
I was just thinking one day, I'd, erm,
391
00:18:00,500 --> 00:18:03,059
I'd really like to go and
look for some metal.
392
00:18:03,060 --> 00:18:05,380
You know, with one of
those metal detectors?
393
00:18:05,381 --> 00:18:07,317
- Yeah.
- Sounds fun.
394
00:18:07,318 --> 00:18:08,699
- Yeah.
- Like searching for riches.
395
00:18:08,700 --> 00:18:10,819
Yeah, yeah, like buried treasure, yeah.
396
00:18:10,820 --> 00:18:12,019
Nice.
397
00:18:12,020 --> 00:18:13,219
But then...
398
00:18:13,220 --> 00:18:17,059
...there'd be no point looking
for gold, would there? Cos...
399
00:18:17,060 --> 00:18:18,939
...it's not magnetic, is it?
400
00:18:18,940 --> 00:18:20,859
No.
401
00:18:20,860 --> 00:18:23,859
If it's not magnetic,
no... That makes sense.
402
00:18:23,860 --> 00:18:26,379
OK, so I'd be wasting my time
looking for gold, wouldn't I?
403
00:18:26,380 --> 00:18:28,300
Oh, God, yeah, wasting your time.
404
00:18:31,460 --> 00:18:35,859
Although, right, they must have
found a way of detecting gold.
405
00:18:35,860 --> 00:18:37,180
Do you think?
406
00:18:38,260 --> 00:18:39,300
Yeah.
407
00:18:41,500 --> 00:18:44,259
This has been a wonderful conversation.
408
00:18:44,260 --> 00:18:46,139
We should talk again. I'd like that.
409
00:18:46,140 --> 00:18:48,179
Oh, no, no, thanks.
410
00:18:48,180 --> 00:18:49,380
- Just...
- No, thanks.
411
00:19:04,340 --> 00:19:06,019
Leave any bags here, sir?
412
00:19:06,020 --> 00:19:07,819
No, thank you, no bags.
413
00:19:07,820 --> 00:19:08,860
No bags.
414
00:19:11,180 --> 00:19:12,220
Thank you.
415
00:19:18,820 --> 00:19:20,299
Wh-what's going on?
416
00:19:21,820 --> 00:19:23,379
OH, GOD! NO!
417
00:19:23,380 --> 00:19:24,420
HELP!
418
00:19:27,060 --> 00:19:29,740
I thought gold couldn't be
detected by these things.
419
00:19:31,020 --> 00:19:32,539
With it...
420
00:19:32,540 --> 00:19:33,940
...not being magnetic.
421
00:19:35,060 --> 00:19:36,259
Right.
422
00:19:36,260 --> 00:19:38,779
Well, the machines detect gold.
423
00:19:38,780 --> 00:19:39,819
Right.
424
00:19:39,820 --> 00:19:41,459
Because we're a bank.
425
00:19:41,460 --> 00:19:43,099
With loads of gold in.
426
00:19:43,100 --> 00:19:44,460
No, that does make sense.
427
00:19:46,980 --> 00:19:48,499
I wasn't stealing, though.
428
00:19:48,500 --> 00:19:51,859
I genuinely, genuinely
thought it was mine.
429
00:19:51,860 --> 00:19:53,420
Genuinely.
430
00:19:56,737 --> 00:19:57,939
For some reason, my brother
431
00:19:57,940 --> 00:20:00,939
tried to walk out of the
bank with some gold.
432
00:20:00,940 --> 00:20:02,784
Yeah, they let him go.
433
00:20:02,785 --> 00:20:04,900
Well, what the hell am I supposed to do?
434
00:20:05,900 --> 00:20:06,940
Ah...!
435
00:20:09,060 --> 00:20:10,579
What am I going to do?
436
00:20:10,580 --> 00:20:12,219
I have no money.
437
00:20:12,220 --> 00:20:15,660
I have NO MONEY!
438
00:20:17,980 --> 00:20:20,219
Oh, my God.
439
00:20:20,220 --> 00:20:23,139
I am going to have to be ordinary.
440
00:20:23,140 --> 00:20:25,099
Like you.
441
00:20:25,100 --> 00:20:28,099
Waking up in the morning,
making breakfast,
442
00:20:28,100 --> 00:20:29,819
listening to radio DJs,
443
00:20:29,820 --> 00:20:33,500
smiling like it's not the
worst thing in the world.
444
00:20:37,180 --> 00:20:39,380
Ken, brother...
445
00:20:40,860 --> 00:20:43,459
...do you think I could stay
with you for a few months,
446
00:20:43,460 --> 00:20:45,819
just till I get back on my feet?
447
00:20:45,820 --> 00:20:49,019
Yeah, that's tempting
because, on one hand,
448
00:20:49,020 --> 00:20:51,539
you're a vain, fraudulent, rude woman
449
00:20:51,540 --> 00:20:55,299
with no interest in me or my
family beyond what you can buy,
450
00:20:55,300 --> 00:20:58,339
and on the other hand, I
find you really annoying.
451
00:20:58,340 --> 00:20:59,619
Oh!
452
00:20:59,620 --> 00:21:01,739
No, that is the same hand, isn't it?
453
00:21:01,740 --> 00:21:03,539
You could just say no.
454
00:21:03,540 --> 00:21:04,819
No.
455
00:21:04,820 --> 00:21:06,059
Fine.
456
00:21:06,060 --> 00:21:07,100
Tigran?
457
00:21:08,940 --> 00:21:09,980
Shit.
458
00:21:15,500 --> 00:21:17,510
I was never sure about
that conservatory anyway.
459
00:21:17,511 --> 00:21:20,459
No? You were sure enough
to sell my body for it.
460
00:21:20,460 --> 00:21:22,139
Don't be like that.
461
00:21:22,140 --> 00:21:25,579
Just, if I ever DID lose you,
462
00:21:25,580 --> 00:21:27,820
it would be nice to
have somewhere to sit.
463
00:21:30,740 --> 00:21:31,859
I'm ready.
464
00:21:31,860 --> 00:21:32,940
Ah.
465
00:21:35,500 --> 00:21:37,820
I called the Uber, like you said.
466
00:21:39,140 --> 00:21:40,979
So this is goodbye.
467
00:21:40,980 --> 00:21:43,059
OK, toodle-oo.
468
00:21:43,060 --> 00:21:46,660
The FBI will be waiting
for me at JFK, so...
469
00:21:48,260 --> 00:21:49,419
...that'll be nice.
470
00:21:49,420 --> 00:21:52,779
Well, enjoy the interrogation,
good luck with the waterboarding,
471
00:21:52,780 --> 00:21:54,099
it's meant to be horrible.
472
00:21:54,100 --> 00:21:55,220
Just so you know...
473
00:21:57,500 --> 00:22:00,579
...I really did like meeting you all,
474
00:22:00,580 --> 00:22:03,179
even though it was for only one night.
475
00:22:03,180 --> 00:22:06,220
Aww, and that ploy failed entirely.
476
00:22:16,700 --> 00:22:19,100
Hey there. Airport, please.
477
00:22:20,340 --> 00:22:22,860
The airport it is, Ms Mittelfart.
478
00:22:26,740 --> 00:22:30,299
If you're thirsty, there's my
self-bottled spring water.
479
00:22:30,300 --> 00:22:33,899
Anything else I can offer, please ask.
480
00:22:33,900 --> 00:22:35,139
And I mean...
481
00:22:35,140 --> 00:22:36,180
...anything.
482
00:22:39,820 --> 00:22:40,859
Well, there she goes.
483
00:22:40,860 --> 00:22:42,979
Hey, I'm glad to see the
back of her, frankly.
484
00:22:42,980 --> 00:22:45,179
The last thing we need is
another eccentric American
485
00:22:45,180 --> 00:22:46,660
creating havoc in our lives.
486
00:22:47,740 --> 00:22:49,779
Come on.
487
00:22:51,380 --> 00:22:52,460
Huh?
488
00:23:07,220 --> 00:23:08,539
Of course.
489
00:23:08,540 --> 00:23:09,580
Kill me.
490
00:23:10,017 --> 00:23:16,017
Sync and corrections by btsix
www.addic7ed.com
34148
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