All language subtitles for Catch-22.S01e01

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English Download
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian Download
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,150 --> 00:00:07,070 Hey, can somebody help me here? 2 00:00:07,599 --> 00:00:09,769 Help him! Help him! 3 00:00:09,770 --> 00:00:11,188 Oh, shit! 4 00:00:30,493 --> 00:00:31,573 Don't worry. I'm turning... 5 00:00:38,765 --> 00:00:40,499 There's something wrong with the plane! 6 00:00:44,367 --> 00:00:46,123 Man, just got to keep going. 7 00:00:46,148 --> 00:00:48,030 So you're helping the boys on the ground after all. 8 00:00:48,054 --> 00:00:50,265 - I hope you die! - Got to jump, Yossarian! 9 00:00:50,289 --> 00:00:51,289 No, come back! 10 00:00:51,314 --> 00:00:53,288 I'm right behind you. I've got to get it out... 11 00:00:54,412 --> 00:00:56,719 Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie www.addic7ed.com. 12 00:00:56,820 --> 00:00:59,144 You goddamn spastics think I'm gonna let you 13 00:00:59,300 --> 00:01:02,503 prance around here like a Busby Berkeley chorus line, 14 00:01:02,913 --> 00:01:04,633 then you've got another think coming to you. 15 00:01:05,170 --> 00:01:08,551 I make you practice marching more than any other squadron 16 00:01:08,552 --> 00:01:09,878 so you'll be better for the Sunday parades, 17 00:01:09,902 --> 00:01:10,925 and what happens? 18 00:01:10,981 --> 00:01:12,821 - We look worse. - You look worse. 19 00:01:13,129 --> 00:01:14,487 _ - Just meet me halfway. 20 00:01:14,512 --> 00:01:15,574 Don't I always meet you 21 00:01:15,607 --> 00:01:16,738 - more than halfway? - _. 22 00:01:16,810 --> 00:01:18,290 That may be why we never meet at all. 23 00:01:19,875 --> 00:01:20,949 Is it my fault? 24 00:01:22,457 --> 00:01:25,387 Is any of this my fault? I want to be told. 25 00:01:25,412 --> 00:01:27,943 I won't punish the man who tells me the truth. 26 00:01:27,968 --> 00:01:29,646 - I swear. - Oh, yes, he will. 27 00:01:29,671 --> 00:01:33,093 I would be thankful to the man who tells me the truth. 28 00:01:33,118 --> 00:01:35,311 Why can you not walk a straight line? 29 00:01:35,336 --> 00:01:37,663 Why can you not turn a 90-degree angle 30 00:01:37,688 --> 00:01:38,936 after 11 weeks? 31 00:01:39,095 --> 00:01:42,358 Why do you not seem to care that we are nine days 32 00:01:42,581 --> 00:01:45,331 from the Inter-Squadron Parade Jamboree? 33 00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:47,968 What the fuck are you staring at? 34 00:01:49,198 --> 00:01:53,422 How can we finally, finally... I beg you... 35 00:01:53,704 --> 00:01:56,133 find a way of getting this thing right? 36 00:01:56,158 --> 00:01:57,251 I actually know the answer to this. 37 00:01:57,275 --> 00:01:58,704 - No, you don't. - Oh, my God, Clevinger. 38 00:01:58,728 --> 00:01:59,728 No, really, I was looking 39 00:01:59,753 --> 00:02:00,861 - at the parade manual... - Shut up. 40 00:02:00,885 --> 00:02:01,886 About breaking us into smaller 41 00:02:01,910 --> 00:02:03,245 - groups to start. - You really need to shut up. 42 00:02:03,269 --> 00:02:04,276 And the $100 question... 43 00:02:05,949 --> 00:02:08,636 why is it so hard to restrict the swing of your arms 44 00:02:08,837 --> 00:02:10,909 to a maximum seven-inch lateral pendulum arc 45 00:02:11,052 --> 00:02:13,425 with a maximum four-inch distance from wrist to thigh? 46 00:02:13,450 --> 00:02:15,329 Peele, if you please! 47 00:02:18,212 --> 00:02:19,798 Seven-inch lateral pendulum arc, 48 00:02:19,956 --> 00:02:21,440 four-inch distance wrist to thigh. 49 00:02:21,548 --> 00:02:23,050 - Thank you, Peele! - Yes, sir! 50 00:02:24,143 --> 00:02:25,690 Why is that so hard? 51 00:02:28,396 --> 00:02:29,573 Why is that so hard? 52 00:02:30,249 --> 00:02:32,425 Seven-inch swing, four-inch gap. 53 00:02:33,265 --> 00:02:34,698 Then we look tight. 54 00:02:35,908 --> 00:02:37,394 Then we look fierce. 55 00:02:37,942 --> 00:02:42,032 Then we stand out from all the goddamn free-swinging arms 56 00:02:42,057 --> 00:02:44,190 that seem to be the goddamn fashion these days. 57 00:02:44,301 --> 00:02:47,987 Then we win the goddamn pennant because your goddamn hands 58 00:02:48,012 --> 00:02:50,057 ought never move more than three and a half inches 59 00:02:50,082 --> 00:02:51,363 in either direction, north or south, 60 00:02:51,387 --> 00:02:53,667 from the center of your thigh! 61 00:02:53,980 --> 00:02:56,222 But apparently we're all a bunch of mongoloids. 62 00:02:56,340 --> 00:02:57,700 He's talking about you, Clevinger. 63 00:02:58,024 --> 00:02:59,024 Reprobates! 64 00:03:02,500 --> 00:03:04,011 And I've been staying up at night. 65 00:03:05,124 --> 00:03:06,707 I've been saying to myself... 66 00:03:08,393 --> 00:03:10,316 "How are we gonna win this thing, boys?" 67 00:03:11,812 --> 00:03:13,027 And you know what'd do it? 68 00:03:13,645 --> 00:03:15,527 I got a friend in the sheet-metal shop, 69 00:03:16,036 --> 00:03:18,261 and he'd make me little pegs of nickel alloy, 70 00:03:18,286 --> 00:03:20,761 and I could sink each one of them into your thigh bones 71 00:03:20,786 --> 00:03:22,919 and connect it to your wrists with strands of copper wire 72 00:03:22,943 --> 00:03:24,567 with exactly three and a half inches of play, 73 00:03:24,591 --> 00:03:26,471 because apparently we're all a bunch of pansies! 74 00:03:28,966 --> 00:03:33,144 So I'm asking you, somebody tell me, 75 00:03:33,169 --> 00:03:36,035 what is it that I am doing wrong? 76 00:03:36,855 --> 00:03:38,590 Somebody, anybody tell me, 77 00:03:38,615 --> 00:03:40,691 where have I failed? 78 00:03:42,187 --> 00:03:43,808 No, it's a rhetorical question. 79 00:03:43,849 --> 00:03:44,892 - Sir! - He... 80 00:03:46,472 --> 00:03:48,495 - Soldier? - Jesus Christ. 81 00:03:49,180 --> 00:03:51,142 Well, sir, I've actually been thinking about this. 82 00:03:51,214 --> 00:03:53,370 And, you see, I think it's quite a simple solution. 83 00:03:53,558 --> 00:03:54,846 What's your name, soldier? 84 00:03:55,249 --> 00:03:56,249 Clevinger, sir. 85 00:03:56,274 --> 00:03:58,096 Air Corps Cadet Timothy Clyde Clevinger. 86 00:03:59,305 --> 00:04:00,979 So I was thinking, the problem lies 87 00:04:01,004 --> 00:04:02,675 in the relationship between the synchronization 88 00:04:02,699 --> 00:04:04,284 of the whole unit and synchronization 89 00:04:04,309 --> 00:04:05,629 of the individual lines, you see? 90 00:04:05,727 --> 00:04:07,096 You start small rather than big, 91 00:04:07,271 --> 00:04:09,025 you divide the unit into practice groups, 92 00:04:09,050 --> 00:04:11,151 say six to ten men, well, it's just human nature 93 00:04:11,176 --> 00:04:13,565 to take in information more concretely in smaller groups. 94 00:04:14,020 --> 00:04:16,018 So, sir, I would suggest your error... 95 00:04:16,043 --> 00:04:17,669 Clevinger, stop fucking talk... 96 00:04:21,950 --> 00:04:23,630 This group small enough for you? 97 00:04:24,690 --> 00:04:26,300 I still can't understand it. 98 00:04:26,991 --> 00:04:28,370 What is there to understand? 99 00:04:29,167 --> 00:04:30,284 They hate you. 100 00:04:31,143 --> 00:04:33,066 They hate you before you got here. 101 00:04:33,386 --> 00:04:34,894 They hate you while you're here, 102 00:04:34,919 --> 00:04:37,003 and they're gonna keep on hating you after you leave. 103 00:04:40,241 --> 00:04:41,480 I'm sorry, buddy. 104 00:04:58,154 --> 00:05:00,542 As the lead bombardier in the squadron, 105 00:05:00,733 --> 00:05:03,089 everyone else is following your cues. 106 00:05:03,667 --> 00:05:07,799 So, with this practice run, set your sighting angle 107 00:05:07,824 --> 00:05:09,202 to 70 degrees. 108 00:05:12,442 --> 00:05:15,972 Now, clutch in, turn your rate and motor switch on. 109 00:05:18,686 --> 00:05:21,394 The rate and motor runs within five RPMs 110 00:05:21,419 --> 00:05:22,558 of the chosen speed. 111 00:05:22,583 --> 00:05:24,262 Here they come, Nately. It's the Red Baron. 112 00:05:24,286 --> 00:05:25,293 Take him down. 113 00:05:26,649 --> 00:05:28,609 You know what's happening to your rate index? 114 00:05:29,516 --> 00:05:32,433 You're trying to find just one point on that scale. 115 00:05:33,712 --> 00:05:34,988 But watch the indices. 116 00:05:35,088 --> 00:05:37,114 That's the only way you keep track of where you are. 117 00:05:37,138 --> 00:05:38,503 So get in the habit now. 118 00:05:38,722 --> 00:05:43,113 So, you're lined up. What's next? 119 00:05:44,446 --> 00:05:46,032 Open bomb bay doors. 120 00:05:46,238 --> 00:05:47,532 Okay, go ahead. 121 00:05:47,793 --> 00:05:49,153 Opening bomb bay doors. 122 00:05:53,226 --> 00:05:54,993 Level carefully so you can keep 123 00:05:55,018 --> 00:05:56,520 the vertical reference line. 124 00:05:56,698 --> 00:05:59,024 Every calculation must be precise. 125 00:06:00,093 --> 00:06:01,093 And next? 126 00:06:02,449 --> 00:06:04,290 - Bombs away? - Correct. 127 00:06:08,060 --> 00:06:09,103 Bombs away. 128 00:06:24,243 --> 00:06:25,289 Whoo! 129 00:06:30,225 --> 00:06:31,693 Oh, God. 130 00:06:32,102 --> 00:06:33,396 Oh, God. 131 00:06:39,164 --> 00:06:40,670 You know, I bet I could name two things 132 00:06:40,694 --> 00:06:42,661 to be miserable about for every one you can name 133 00:06:42,686 --> 00:06:43,763 to be thankful for. 134 00:06:43,788 --> 00:06:46,349 Mmm, be thankful you're healthy. 135 00:06:46,611 --> 00:06:48,472 Be bitter you're not gonna stay that way. 136 00:06:48,496 --> 00:06:50,082 Be glad you're even alive. 137 00:06:50,443 --> 00:06:51,820 Be furious how you're gonna die. 138 00:06:51,821 --> 00:06:53,076 Things could be much worse. 139 00:06:53,100 --> 00:06:54,592 Yeah, well, things could be one hell of a lot better. 140 00:06:54,616 --> 00:06:56,780 You're naming only one thing. You said you could name two. 141 00:06:56,804 --> 00:06:59,850 Mmm. And don't tell me that God works in mysterious ways. 142 00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:01,631 There's nothing mysterious about it. 143 00:07:01,656 --> 00:07:02,950 He's not working at all. 144 00:07:02,975 --> 00:07:04,877 - You know, he's playing. - Mm-hmm. 145 00:07:04,902 --> 00:07:06,528 Or else He's forgotten all about us. 146 00:07:06,755 --> 00:07:09,292 He is a brainless, conceited hayseed. 147 00:07:09,317 --> 00:07:10,332 I mean, how mu... 148 00:07:10,356 --> 00:07:12,745 how much reverence can you have for a supreme being 149 00:07:12,889 --> 00:07:15,175 who finds it necessary to rob old people of the power 150 00:07:15,200 --> 00:07:16,720 to control their bowel movements, hmm? 151 00:07:17,412 --> 00:07:18,823 Why the hell did He create pain? 152 00:07:18,888 --> 00:07:20,081 Pain is useful. 153 00:07:20,114 --> 00:07:22,527 Pain is a warning to us of bodily dangers. 154 00:07:22,552 --> 00:07:23,950 And who created the dangers? 155 00:07:23,975 --> 00:07:25,951 Yeah, He was certainly being... He was certainly being 156 00:07:25,975 --> 00:07:27,427 charitable when He gave us pain. 157 00:07:27,516 --> 00:07:30,380 Why couldn't He have used a-a doorbell to let us know? 158 00:07:31,780 --> 00:07:34,153 Or one of... Or one of His celestial choirs? 159 00:07:34,362 --> 00:07:36,366 You know, when you think about the chance that He had 160 00:07:36,390 --> 00:07:38,342 to do something good, and then you look at the stupid 161 00:07:38,366 --> 00:07:40,169 ugly mess that He made of it instead, 162 00:07:40,273 --> 00:07:41,591 His incompetence is staggering. 163 00:07:41,616 --> 00:07:43,068 Better be careful what you say about Him, honey. 164 00:07:43,092 --> 00:07:44,426 He might punish you. 165 00:07:44,721 --> 00:07:46,081 Like He doesn't punish me already. 166 00:07:46,673 --> 00:07:48,550 You know, one day I'm gonna make Him pay. 167 00:07:48,574 --> 00:07:53,111 One day I'm gonna grab that little yokel by His neck. 168 00:07:53,136 --> 00:07:54,924 You're gonna be in so much trouble. 169 00:07:57,820 --> 00:07:59,133 I thought you didn't believe in God. 170 00:07:59,157 --> 00:08:00,203 I don't. 171 00:08:00,830 --> 00:08:03,367 But the God I don't believe in is a good God. 172 00:08:03,695 --> 00:08:06,429 Not the mean and stupid God you make Him out to be. 173 00:08:07,298 --> 00:08:08,992 I'm not making Him out to be anything. 174 00:08:09,017 --> 00:08:11,023 - Mm-hmm. - I'm just reporting the facts. 175 00:08:26,384 --> 00:08:27,601 Take it easy, McWatt. 176 00:08:27,626 --> 00:08:29,835 Get in the goddamn bunk. It's almost lights out. 177 00:08:29,860 --> 00:08:31,110 Hey, what time's the parade drill tomorrow? 178 00:08:31,134 --> 00:08:32,762 - 0600. - Fuck, great. 179 00:08:32,787 --> 00:08:35,123 - Fucking meaningless. - They have a meaning. 180 00:08:35,148 --> 00:08:37,037 - They're meaningless. - That's not true, Yo-Yo. 181 00:08:37,061 --> 00:08:39,108 Tell me one thing that's not meaningless about parades. 182 00:08:39,132 --> 00:08:40,740 Discipline, chain of command, 183 00:08:40,765 --> 00:08:43,295 working together as a unit, geometry. 184 00:08:43,473 --> 00:08:45,912 Bullshit, Clevinger. Yo-Yo, you're right. 185 00:08:45,937 --> 00:08:48,097 - There ain't one thing he can name. - Lights out! 186 00:08:48,778 --> 00:08:49,778 Cohesion. 187 00:08:49,959 --> 00:08:51,241 Now you're just repeating yourself. 188 00:08:51,265 --> 00:08:52,265 No, I'm not. 189 00:08:52,290 --> 00:08:53,304 No, you're out of your mind. 190 00:08:53,328 --> 00:08:55,088 Parades aren't designed to teach us anything. 191 00:08:55,363 --> 00:08:57,075 They're designed to humiliate us. 192 00:08:57,402 --> 00:08:59,272 They're designed to make us suffer the indignity 193 00:08:59,296 --> 00:09:01,185 of doing something entirely pointless 194 00:09:01,383 --> 00:09:03,177 so that sadistic fuck Scheisskopf 195 00:09:03,202 --> 00:09:04,830 can demonstrate he has power over us, 196 00:09:04,962 --> 00:09:07,146 'cause apparently that's how sadists get their kicks. 197 00:09:08,605 --> 00:09:10,161 The more pointless the activity, 198 00:09:10,186 --> 00:09:12,966 the greater our humiliation, and the more power he feels. 199 00:09:13,104 --> 00:09:15,467 And we can sit here and pretend all we want that there must be 200 00:09:15,491 --> 00:09:17,873 some more noble war-effort-type purpose 201 00:09:17,898 --> 00:09:19,873 to all this walking around in fucking rectangles, 202 00:09:19,898 --> 00:09:21,014 but there isn't one. 203 00:09:21,679 --> 00:09:24,483 We do parades so Scheisskopf can feel like a tough guy. 204 00:09:24,870 --> 00:09:26,069 That's what parades are for. 205 00:09:26,437 --> 00:09:28,178 Yeah, that's what parades are for. 206 00:09:28,593 --> 00:09:29,764 They disgust me. 207 00:09:30,124 --> 00:09:31,983 Make me feel sick in the stomach. 208 00:09:36,449 --> 00:09:37,842 Yeah, me too, buddy. Sick... 209 00:09:39,065 --> 00:09:40,065 in my stomach. 210 00:09:43,592 --> 00:09:45,260 - Feel this? - Yeah. 211 00:09:45,285 --> 00:09:47,553 - Ah, God, that hurts. - Mmm, how about here? 212 00:09:47,578 --> 00:09:48,709 Ah, yeah. 213 00:09:48,734 --> 00:09:50,243 And what about when I tap here? 214 00:09:50,267 --> 00:09:52,103 - How does that feel? - Ooh, rough. 215 00:09:52,128 --> 00:09:54,299 - How does this feel? - Mm, it hurts. 216 00:09:54,323 --> 00:09:55,338 And here? 217 00:09:55,930 --> 00:09:57,234 What about this? 218 00:09:57,692 --> 00:09:58,906 And how about here? 219 00:09:59,522 --> 00:10:00,595 Here? 220 00:10:00,619 --> 00:10:01,681 When I tap here? 221 00:10:02,382 --> 00:10:03,399 Mm-hmm. 222 00:10:04,266 --> 00:10:05,682 There's nothing wrong with your appendix. 223 00:10:05,706 --> 00:10:06,822 Are you sure? 224 00:10:06,847 --> 00:10:08,097 Next time say it's your liver. 225 00:10:08,121 --> 00:10:09,917 Something wrong with your liver, I can keep you here for weeks. 226 00:10:09,941 --> 00:10:11,339 There's something wrong with my liver. 227 00:10:11,363 --> 00:10:13,067 Nice try. There's nothing wrong with your liver. 228 00:10:13,091 --> 00:10:14,491 That shows how much you don't know. 229 00:10:17,296 --> 00:10:19,050 So how does a doctor end up here, anyway? 230 00:10:19,243 --> 00:10:20,683 Did you sign up for this shit? 231 00:10:21,514 --> 00:10:23,441 Why aren't you off somewhere doing regular doctoring? 232 00:10:23,465 --> 00:10:25,026 Believe me, I don't want to be here. 233 00:10:25,376 --> 00:10:26,855 I examined myself pretty thoroughly 234 00:10:26,880 --> 00:10:28,816 and found that I was unfit for service. 235 00:10:28,922 --> 00:10:31,058 Now, you'd think my word would be enough, but, no. 236 00:10:31,228 --> 00:10:33,456 They send some guy from the draft board to look me over. 237 00:10:33,548 --> 00:10:35,105 Starts disputing my Four-F. 238 00:10:35,236 --> 00:10:37,114 You know, John, we live in a... in an age 239 00:10:37,139 --> 00:10:38,909 of deteriorating spiritual values. 240 00:10:39,028 --> 00:10:42,168 It's really a... it's a terrible thing when... when even the word 241 00:10:42,193 --> 00:10:44,614 of a licensed small-town physician is questioned 242 00:10:44,639 --> 00:10:46,028 by the country he loves. 243 00:10:46,804 --> 00:10:48,747 - What's a Four-F? - I just told you... 244 00:10:48,772 --> 00:10:50,293 it's my fitness for military service. 245 00:10:51,180 --> 00:10:52,773 I can't do these goddamn parades, Doc. 246 00:10:52,798 --> 00:10:54,743 - They're gonna kill me. - Parades never killed anyone. 247 00:10:54,767 --> 00:10:56,283 - I bet they have. - Not many. 248 00:10:56,307 --> 00:10:58,179 - Come on, Doc. - I'll tell you what. 249 00:10:58,345 --> 00:11:00,710 I'll help you out when I know it can do you some good. 250 00:11:01,124 --> 00:11:03,820 In the meantime, choose your battles. 251 00:11:04,669 --> 00:11:06,189 Parades are the least of your worries. 252 00:12:26,326 --> 00:12:27,326 Hey. 253 00:12:35,663 --> 00:12:37,171 Clevinger, are you okay? 254 00:12:42,426 --> 00:12:43,426 Hey. 255 00:12:46,651 --> 00:12:47,651 Clevinger. 256 00:12:49,442 --> 00:12:51,045 Stumbling without authority, 257 00:12:51,289 --> 00:12:53,365 breaking formation while in formation, 258 00:12:53,390 --> 00:12:56,076 indiscriminate behavior, mopery, 259 00:12:56,246 --> 00:12:57,246 provoking. 260 00:12:57,271 --> 00:12:58,631 Do you want me to keep going, sir? 261 00:12:59,038 --> 00:13:01,311 - And his friend? - Uh, that'd be, uh... 262 00:13:02,549 --> 00:13:04,592 That'd be aiding and abetting all of the above, sir. 263 00:13:04,872 --> 00:13:06,708 As to these charges, how do you plead? 264 00:13:07,022 --> 00:13:08,022 Not guilty. 265 00:13:08,188 --> 00:13:09,770 And what makes you think we care? 266 00:13:11,361 --> 00:13:12,419 You're here because you're trouble 267 00:13:12,443 --> 00:13:14,446 and nobody likes trouble. Do you? 268 00:13:15,004 --> 00:13:17,091 - Do I like trouble? - You think this is funny? 269 00:13:17,328 --> 00:13:18,982 In 60 days, you're gonna be fighting the Hun, 270 00:13:19,006 --> 00:13:20,420 and you think this is a big, fat joke? 271 00:13:20,444 --> 00:13:21,881 - I don't think it's a joke... - Don't interrupt me. 272 00:13:21,905 --> 00:13:23,342 - And say "sir" when you do. - Yes, sir. 273 00:13:23,366 --> 00:13:24,374 Didn't I just tell you not to interrupt me? 274 00:13:24,398 --> 00:13:25,518 But I didn't interrupt, sir. 275 00:13:26,628 --> 00:13:28,178 Are you mentally retarded, son? 276 00:13:28,657 --> 00:13:29,984 No, sir. I'm just innocent. 277 00:13:30,008 --> 00:13:31,663 - I'm innocent until proven guilty. - Says who? 278 00:13:31,687 --> 00:13:33,398 - Everyone, sir. The Bill of Rights. - Yeah. 279 00:13:33,422 --> 00:13:35,056 - The Declaration of Independence. - You believe all that crap? 280 00:13:35,080 --> 00:13:37,074 Yes, sir. I'm a free citizen in a free country and I have certain... 281 00:13:37,098 --> 00:13:39,418 You are nothing of the kind. You are a prisoner at my dock. 282 00:13:39,480 --> 00:13:41,631 So you stand here, and you keep your mouth shut! 283 00:13:41,656 --> 00:13:42,656 Yes, sir! 284 00:13:46,566 --> 00:13:48,486 Now, what did you mean when you said 285 00:13:48,568 --> 00:13:50,577 - that we couldn't punish you? - When, sir? 286 00:13:50,602 --> 00:13:52,149 I'm asking the questions. You're answering them. 287 00:13:52,173 --> 00:13:53,186 - Yes, sir. - You think we brought you 288 00:13:53,210 --> 00:13:54,907 here so that you could ask me questions 289 00:13:54,932 --> 00:13:55,970 - and I would answer them? - No, sir. 290 00:13:55,994 --> 00:13:57,550 Then what the hell did you mean when you said 291 00:13:57,574 --> 00:13:59,808 - that we could not punish you? - I'm sorry, sir. 292 00:13:59,832 --> 00:14:01,089 I never said that you couldn't punish me. 293 00:14:01,113 --> 00:14:02,378 Now you're telling us when you did say it. 294 00:14:02,402 --> 00:14:04,034 I'm asking you to tell us when you didn't say it. 295 00:14:04,058 --> 00:14:06,369 When didn't you say we couldn't punish you? 296 00:14:06,394 --> 00:14:08,026 I always didn't say you couldn't punish me. 297 00:14:08,050 --> 00:14:09,260 That a bare-faced lie! 298 00:14:09,285 --> 00:14:10,932 You whispered that we couldn't punish you 299 00:14:10,957 --> 00:14:13,004 to that dumb son of a bitch standing right there! 300 00:14:13,029 --> 00:14:14,761 Oh, no, sir, I whispered to him that you couldn't find me guilty. 301 00:14:14,785 --> 00:14:17,664 Well, I must be stupid, because the distinction escapes me! 302 00:14:17,689 --> 00:14:19,408 You're a windy son of a bitch, aren't you? 303 00:14:19,433 --> 00:14:21,463 - No, sir. - No, sir? You're calling me a liar now? 304 00:14:21,488 --> 00:14:22,908 - No, sir. - No, what, sir? 305 00:14:22,933 --> 00:14:24,323 - No, what... - No, what? 306 00:14:24,348 --> 00:14:25,348 What, sir? 307 00:14:28,831 --> 00:14:31,308 - Read me back the last line. - "Read me back the last line." 308 00:14:31,333 --> 00:14:33,011 Not my last line. Somebody else's. 309 00:14:35,180 --> 00:14:38,073 - "Read me back the last line." - That's my last line again. 310 00:14:38,098 --> 00:14:39,597 Oh, no, sir. That's my last line. 311 00:14:39,710 --> 00:14:41,110 I read it to you just a moment ago. 312 00:14:50,743 --> 00:14:52,019 I'm sorry, buddy. 313 00:14:56,525 --> 00:14:58,683 Do you sleep with me because you like me 314 00:14:58,708 --> 00:15:01,050 or because you hate my husband? 315 00:15:02,857 --> 00:15:04,550 - A bit of both. - Hmm. 316 00:15:05,929 --> 00:15:07,386 I could ask you the same question. 317 00:15:08,120 --> 00:15:12,581 Mm, you know, I'd say you're not allowed 318 00:15:12,606 --> 00:15:14,066 to hate him so much. 319 00:15:14,934 --> 00:15:16,425 You should leave that to me. 320 00:15:18,429 --> 00:15:19,653 Besides, you're leaving tomorrow. 321 00:15:19,677 --> 00:15:21,238 You'll never have to see him again. 322 00:15:24,405 --> 00:15:25,885 You know why I joined the Air Corp? 323 00:15:26,224 --> 00:15:27,224 Mhm. 324 00:15:28,463 --> 00:15:30,327 'Cause I knew that I'd be dragged into this shit 325 00:15:30,351 --> 00:15:31,357 one way or another. 326 00:15:32,208 --> 00:15:34,642 And I knew that bomber crews required more training 327 00:15:34,667 --> 00:15:36,605 than anybody else in the military, so... 328 00:15:37,900 --> 00:15:39,642 I just figured war would be over 329 00:15:39,667 --> 00:15:41,314 by the time my training finished. 330 00:15:42,073 --> 00:15:44,384 Well, that was wishful thinking, hon. 331 00:15:45,930 --> 00:15:48,025 Yeah, I'm beginning to realize I may have been wrong. 332 00:15:59,187 --> 00:16:01,352 _ 333 00:16:05,693 --> 00:16:07,348 All right, time to target? 334 00:16:07,373 --> 00:16:09,590 30 seconds to the run, 30 seconds. 335 00:16:09,909 --> 00:16:10,956 Compression. 336 00:16:11,109 --> 00:16:13,254 All right, pay attention, boys. 337 00:16:13,988 --> 00:16:16,348 Okay, steady. Hold steady! 338 00:16:16,373 --> 00:16:20,802 - Holding steady, three-four-nine. - Three-four-nine at 9,000 feet. 339 00:16:20,965 --> 00:16:22,873 Roger that, holding at 9,000. 340 00:16:23,058 --> 00:16:24,264 Yossarian, we're approaching. 341 00:16:24,288 --> 00:16:25,591 Are you on a steady heading? 342 00:16:25,616 --> 00:16:27,216 Yes, I'm on a steady heading. 343 00:16:28,232 --> 00:16:29,880 We're getting hammered back here! 344 00:16:29,905 --> 00:16:31,084 "Yankee Doodle," what's your status? 345 00:16:31,108 --> 00:16:32,468 Opening bomb bay doors. 346 00:16:33,170 --> 00:16:34,365 Let's go. Open them up. 347 00:16:34,390 --> 00:16:35,396 Open them up! 348 00:16:35,421 --> 00:16:37,583 Hey, McWatt, reading at oh-four-two, 349 00:16:37,608 --> 00:16:39,208 holding at 5,000. 350 00:16:39,233 --> 00:16:41,194 Oh-four-two at 5,000. 351 00:16:41,586 --> 00:16:43,366 They're gonna have to get up a little higher. 352 00:16:43,390 --> 00:16:44,982 Let's just hold it steady right there. 353 00:16:47,457 --> 00:16:49,482 - How we looking here? - We're holding. 354 00:16:49,756 --> 00:16:51,685 Come on, let's drop them! Just drop them! 355 00:16:51,710 --> 00:16:52,818 Here we go. 356 00:16:53,241 --> 00:16:55,131 Adjusting for drift, three degrees. 357 00:16:55,156 --> 00:16:56,897 Three degrees, roger that. 358 00:16:57,865 --> 00:17:00,169 - On your left! - Oh, it's too strong! 359 00:17:01,805 --> 00:17:03,933 How do I know? I can't see anything! 360 00:17:06,402 --> 00:17:07,982 We almost there, Yo-Yo? 361 00:17:08,115 --> 00:17:09,285 Steady. 362 00:17:11,072 --> 00:17:12,902 Closing in on target, fellas. 363 00:17:15,304 --> 00:17:16,589 Holy fuck! 364 00:17:16,834 --> 00:17:18,691 Yo-Yo, come on. Where are they? 365 00:17:18,934 --> 00:17:19,973 Holding steady. 366 00:17:19,997 --> 00:17:21,997 Can you hurry the fuck up up there? 367 00:17:22,102 --> 00:17:23,939 - We're dying back here! - Holding... 368 00:17:23,963 --> 00:17:25,431 - Come on! - And... 369 00:17:25,456 --> 00:17:27,830 - Drop them already, Yo-Yo. - Let's go! Drop them! 370 00:17:27,854 --> 00:17:29,091 Bombs away! 371 00:17:32,912 --> 00:17:34,748 They're away! They're away! 372 00:17:35,146 --> 00:17:36,888 - And we're off! - All right! 373 00:17:37,051 --> 00:17:38,922 Over to you, McWatt! Get us out of here! 374 00:17:38,947 --> 00:17:39,947 We're done! 375 00:17:39,972 --> 00:17:41,864 All right, getting us out of this shit. 376 00:17:43,153 --> 00:17:44,553 We're still getting strikes! 377 00:17:44,577 --> 00:17:46,834 We got to go! Jesus Christ! 378 00:17:47,688 --> 00:17:48,819 You all right up there? 379 00:17:48,971 --> 00:17:50,389 McWatt, are you okay? 380 00:17:51,584 --> 00:17:52,584 Fuck. 381 00:17:52,609 --> 00:17:54,738 We got you, we got you. You're okay. 382 00:18:03,195 --> 00:18:04,195 Christ. 383 00:18:05,303 --> 00:18:06,807 Oh, Christ. 384 00:18:15,508 --> 00:18:20,119 _ 385 00:19:23,801 --> 00:19:27,238 _ 386 00:19:49,244 --> 00:19:51,453 It is time to support the war effort. 387 00:19:51,558 --> 00:19:52,992 Buy war bonds. 388 00:19:53,102 --> 00:19:55,078 Buy them until we turn back Tokyo 389 00:19:55,103 --> 00:19:56,914 and there's a white flag over Japan. 390 00:19:57,477 --> 00:19:59,500 And what's more, keep those bonds. 391 00:19:59,656 --> 00:20:01,296 _ - Hold them for your future. 392 00:20:01,455 --> 00:20:03,039 This is Ed Davey signing off. 393 00:20:25,127 --> 00:20:26,789 - Hey. - How'd it go? 394 00:20:26,972 --> 00:20:28,930 Oh, we took some flak. 395 00:20:29,129 --> 00:20:30,394 I bet you did. 396 00:20:31,731 --> 00:20:33,511 Fellas, hi. 397 00:20:33,946 --> 00:20:36,746 This is Mudd. Henry Mudd. He's your new bunkmate. 398 00:20:36,910 --> 00:20:38,020 I think there's been a mistake. 399 00:20:38,044 --> 00:20:39,324 I think there's been a mistake. 400 00:20:39,349 --> 00:20:40,726 I'm fairly certain there's been a mistake. 401 00:20:40,750 --> 00:20:42,466 Well, it says right here he's... 402 00:20:44,108 --> 00:20:45,708 Well, he's bunking down with you and Orr. 403 00:20:48,020 --> 00:20:49,692 Right, well, I'll leave you men to it. 404 00:20:50,590 --> 00:20:52,458 - Hey, Milo. - Hi, Reverend! 405 00:20:52,540 --> 00:20:53,708 Yo-Yo. Orr. 406 00:20:53,876 --> 00:20:56,450 Oh, hi. I'm Milo Minderbinder. 407 00:20:56,601 --> 00:20:58,148 - This is Mudd. - Henry Mudd. 408 00:20:58,172 --> 00:21:01,130 Well, Henry, you've arrived at precisely the right time. 409 00:21:02,633 --> 00:21:05,064 I'd say there's plenty more where these came from, but there isn't. 410 00:21:05,088 --> 00:21:06,648 That's how special these two are to me. 411 00:21:07,265 --> 00:21:08,391 Go on. Take a few. 412 00:21:08,416 --> 00:21:10,477 - Now we're talking. - You too, Henry. 413 00:21:14,844 --> 00:21:16,289 Come on, one for later. 414 00:21:19,981 --> 00:21:20,981 Beautiful. 415 00:21:21,006 --> 00:21:22,922 All right, gentlemen, I'm doing the rounds. 416 00:21:22,947 --> 00:21:25,469 If anyone asks, these are going two for a dime. 417 00:21:27,683 --> 00:21:29,508 Good to meet you, Henry Mudd. 418 00:21:35,673 --> 00:21:36,891 You can drop your bags. 419 00:21:52,683 --> 00:21:55,281 Uh, they told me to check in at the administration tent. 420 00:21:56,543 --> 00:21:58,243 Well, that's what you should do, then. 421 00:21:58,267 --> 00:21:59,281 Do you know where it is? 422 00:22:00,351 --> 00:22:02,039 Well, you follow this path up here, 423 00:22:02,064 --> 00:22:03,782 and when you hit the latrines, you take a left, 424 00:22:03,806 --> 00:22:06,006 and the Administrations is the second tent on the right. 425 00:22:06,492 --> 00:22:07,492 Thanks. 426 00:22:08,324 --> 00:22:09,383 I'll be right back. 427 00:22:10,345 --> 00:22:11,347 Yeah. 428 00:22:18,008 --> 00:22:21,336 Great. That's fucking great. 429 00:22:25,152 --> 00:22:27,360 Oh, fuck. Third tent! 430 00:22:28,003 --> 00:22:29,891 It's the third tent on the right! 431 00:22:56,957 --> 00:22:58,704 All right, I want you to pay particular attention 432 00:22:58,728 --> 00:22:59,749 to this right here. 433 00:22:59,858 --> 00:23:02,758 The heaviest flak is supported right here and here. 434 00:23:03,185 --> 00:23:05,138 - Yes? - Sir, I'm here to report... 435 00:23:05,163 --> 00:23:07,249 - Are you the gunner? - I'm a gunner, yes, sir. 436 00:23:07,437 --> 00:23:08,943 Crosby, your tail gunner's here! 437 00:23:08,968 --> 00:23:11,052 Hurry up, then! We're going up in four minutes! 438 00:23:11,077 --> 00:23:13,498 This has been cleared last week as another squadron... 439 00:23:13,523 --> 00:23:16,483 Uh, sir, I'm a side gunner, not a... I don't... 440 00:23:16,508 --> 00:23:18,131 - Go, go, go! - Yes, sir. 441 00:24:24,440 --> 00:24:25,877 - What? - Knife? 442 00:24:26,126 --> 00:24:27,804 I'm not your mother, Dunbar, but here. 443 00:24:43,483 --> 00:24:44,483 What's your name? 444 00:24:45,067 --> 00:24:46,124 Major. 445 00:24:47,510 --> 00:24:50,140 - You're not a major. - No, no. That's my name. 446 00:24:50,872 --> 00:24:52,772 Well, I'm not calling you Major. 447 00:24:52,797 --> 00:24:55,038 - What's your Christian name? - Major. It... it's Major. 448 00:24:55,195 --> 00:24:56,960 No, your... your Christian name. 449 00:24:57,095 --> 00:24:58,585 He means what's your first name. 450 00:24:58,719 --> 00:25:00,759 That's what I'm saying. My first name is Major, too. 451 00:25:00,897 --> 00:25:04,296 - You're kidding me. - You serious? 452 00:25:04,321 --> 00:25:05,374 It's a funny story. 453 00:25:05,399 --> 00:25:07,430 My... my mother was rather exhausted from giving birth 454 00:25:07,454 --> 00:25:09,082 to me... she had lost a lot of blood. 455 00:25:09,282 --> 00:25:11,366 Uh, my father filled in the forms. 456 00:25:11,739 --> 00:25:14,326 - And he calls you Major? - It's my middle name, too. 457 00:25:14,351 --> 00:25:15,415 Let me get this right. 458 00:25:15,439 --> 00:25:19,093 Your father named you Major Major Major? 459 00:25:19,260 --> 00:25:21,281 He came back into the ward, and he said to my mother, 460 00:25:21,305 --> 00:25:23,267 "I've named him Caleb in accordance with your wishes." 461 00:25:23,291 --> 00:25:24,626 But... but he was lying. 462 00:25:26,079 --> 00:25:28,228 You're Sergeant Major Major Major? 463 00:25:28,253 --> 00:25:30,757 Uh, yeah. I've... I've made peace with it. 464 00:25:30,782 --> 00:25:32,620 Tell me this. Have you had a tough life? 465 00:25:34,817 --> 00:25:37,440 You can call me Caleb. Even just... just Cal would be okay. 466 00:25:37,465 --> 00:25:38,471 Hey, fellas! 467 00:25:38,496 --> 00:25:41,979 This guy's name is Major Major Major. 468 00:25:54,615 --> 00:25:55,771 Sir. 469 00:26:12,544 --> 00:26:15,192 - What is this nonsense? - It's meat, sir... 470 00:26:15,505 --> 00:26:17,747 and vegetables, I think. 471 00:26:18,040 --> 00:26:19,864 God, abominable. 472 00:26:21,016 --> 00:26:23,903 I will have sardines on toast in my tent. 473 00:26:24,201 --> 00:26:25,247 Of course, sir. 474 00:26:27,807 --> 00:26:30,253 Did you hear about that plane this afternoon? 475 00:26:30,487 --> 00:26:32,337 - What plane? - That plane went down 476 00:26:32,362 --> 00:26:33,698 that the kid was on. 477 00:26:34,222 --> 00:26:35,675 - What kid? - Mudd. 478 00:26:36,569 --> 00:26:39,058 - Who's Mudd? - The kid from our tent. 479 00:26:42,179 --> 00:26:43,179 Oh, shit. 480 00:26:43,212 --> 00:26:44,768 He didn't even unpack his kit. 481 00:26:47,280 --> 00:26:48,972 - He went down? - He's gone. 482 00:26:49,859 --> 00:26:51,319 Done and dusted. 483 00:26:56,152 --> 00:26:57,152 Poor guy. 484 00:27:32,090 --> 00:27:33,425 Oh! 485 00:27:35,290 --> 00:27:37,196 - Oh, fuck! - There goes the hot water. 486 00:27:37,221 --> 00:27:38,221 Oh! 487 00:27:39,968 --> 00:27:43,743 Yeah, yeah, yeah, well, it's, uh... it's a type of oil valve. 488 00:27:43,776 --> 00:27:45,779 I actually know how to modify that. 489 00:27:59,699 --> 00:28:01,376 I'm not sure I can take this shit. 490 00:28:02,285 --> 00:28:04,618 A little cold water never hurt nobody, Yo-Yo. 491 00:28:06,041 --> 00:28:07,688 No, I can't fly more missions. 492 00:28:07,819 --> 00:28:09,400 We're winning this thing, Yossarian. 493 00:28:09,424 --> 00:28:11,165 You've already flown 16 missions. 494 00:28:11,276 --> 00:28:12,626 25 and we can go home. 495 00:28:12,749 --> 00:28:14,962 Yeah, I can't do nine more. 496 00:28:14,997 --> 00:28:16,477 Well, we're winning this war. 497 00:28:16,606 --> 00:28:18,109 That's what they say, anyways. 498 00:28:18,289 --> 00:28:20,141 You know, Rome is about to fall, 499 00:28:20,166 --> 00:28:21,206 and the Germans are toast. 500 00:28:21,260 --> 00:28:23,032 The Germans are toast. Exactly. 501 00:28:23,292 --> 00:28:25,391 No more planes. Ground troops only. 502 00:28:25,416 --> 00:28:26,496 And they're all retreating. 503 00:28:27,121 --> 00:28:28,969 So why the hell are we still flying missions? 504 00:28:28,994 --> 00:28:30,759 'Cause we got to... we got to polish them off. 505 00:28:30,783 --> 00:28:32,009 Well, you can polish them off. 506 00:28:32,033 --> 00:28:34,314 I don't want to be the one who dies showing them the door. 507 00:28:49,495 --> 00:28:51,158 There's something wrong with my liver. 508 00:28:51,182 --> 00:28:52,213 What's wrong with it? 509 00:28:52,237 --> 00:28:53,757 - Well, it hurts. - Where does it hurt? 510 00:28:53,901 --> 00:28:55,541 - In my liver. - Will you show me exactly? 511 00:28:55,664 --> 00:28:57,209 Uh... 512 00:28:59,182 --> 00:29:01,182 - That's not your liver. - Are you sure? 513 00:29:03,256 --> 00:29:04,821 Well, well, well... 514 00:29:05,272 --> 00:29:06,797 - Doc! - Let me guess. 515 00:29:06,901 --> 00:29:07,901 Liver? 516 00:29:08,727 --> 00:29:09,860 Thank you, Sue Anne. 517 00:29:10,174 --> 00:29:11,830 - Do I need to call the priest? - What are you doing here? 518 00:29:11,854 --> 00:29:13,243 I asked myself the same question. 519 00:29:13,268 --> 00:29:14,618 I go where they tell me to go. 520 00:29:15,198 --> 00:29:16,211 So... 521 00:29:17,586 --> 00:29:19,055 are you actually sick this time? 522 00:29:19,080 --> 00:29:20,580 - I feel sick. - Yeah, but are you sick? 523 00:29:20,604 --> 00:29:22,071 - I honestly feel sick. - So do I. 524 00:29:22,096 --> 00:29:23,097 But that doesn't mean I am. 525 00:29:23,121 --> 00:29:26,581 Look, I've flown 16 missions. The mission quota's 25. 526 00:29:26,606 --> 00:29:29,152 I have nine left to fly. They're entirely pointless. 527 00:29:29,309 --> 00:29:31,003 I mean, the Germans are on the run, right? 528 00:29:31,223 --> 00:29:33,433 So I figure I just wait it out in here, 529 00:29:33,526 --> 00:29:34,910 if that's okay with you. 530 00:29:34,983 --> 00:29:37,253 So the Germans fold, and then what do you think happens? 531 00:29:37,286 --> 00:29:38,294 Then I go home. 532 00:29:38,319 --> 00:29:40,772 You do realize we're fighting a war in the Pacific right now? 533 00:29:40,796 --> 00:29:43,105 And as soon as Europe is done, if you haven't already been 534 00:29:43,130 --> 00:29:44,883 formally discharged, they're gonna ship you 535 00:29:44,908 --> 00:29:47,597 straight out there, and you do not want to go there. 536 00:29:48,285 --> 00:29:50,167 They got malaria there. Yeah. 537 00:29:50,417 --> 00:29:51,903 They got fungus. They got two kinds of fungus. 538 00:29:51,927 --> 00:29:54,230 They got a fungus that gets in your brain and eats it. 539 00:29:54,569 --> 00:29:56,321 They got parasites. They got leeches. 540 00:29:56,447 --> 00:29:58,199 I'd fly your nine missions, if I was you. 541 00:30:29,988 --> 00:30:31,316 Hello, sir? 542 00:30:33,460 --> 00:30:34,837 Major de Coverley, sir? 543 00:31:03,355 --> 00:31:04,745 Hello, sir. 544 00:31:07,149 --> 00:31:08,706 Sorry to interrupt, sir. 545 00:31:08,884 --> 00:31:11,558 But I think you're gonna want to see this. 546 00:31:17,902 --> 00:31:20,550 What? Where'd you get these? 547 00:31:20,905 --> 00:31:23,381 From the highlands of Scotland, sir. 548 00:31:25,422 --> 00:31:27,311 - Is that so? - Yes, sir. 549 00:31:27,336 --> 00:31:29,130 These are highland lamb chops. 550 00:31:34,231 --> 00:31:37,069 These lambs... oh, they're fed on the richest, 551 00:31:37,094 --> 00:31:39,724 greenest clover in all of Great Britain all day long. 552 00:31:39,749 --> 00:31:42,358 I have a friend at the RAF base in Donibristle 553 00:31:42,383 --> 00:31:44,427 who manages to clear a little space for an icebox 554 00:31:44,452 --> 00:31:45,787 on one of the courier planes. 555 00:31:45,812 --> 00:31:48,279 I could have these for you every week, sir. 556 00:31:48,304 --> 00:31:49,326 Donibristle. 557 00:31:49,351 --> 00:31:51,029 Sunday lamb chops, we could call them. 558 00:31:53,061 --> 00:31:54,084 Walk with me. 559 00:31:57,209 --> 00:31:58,994 They're not the easiest things to come by. 560 00:31:59,018 --> 00:32:01,257 If our friend in Scotland is sending us a steady supply 561 00:32:01,282 --> 00:32:02,287 - of lamb chops... - Okay. 562 00:32:02,312 --> 00:32:04,064 - Give me another one of these. - Of course, sir. 563 00:32:04,088 --> 00:32:06,849 If our friend in Scotland is sending us a steady supply of lamb chops, 564 00:32:06,922 --> 00:32:08,892 I really should be giving him something in return. 565 00:32:09,048 --> 00:32:11,025 Now, don't get me wrong. He's a lovely man. 566 00:32:11,050 --> 00:32:12,657 But the lamb chop situation... 567 00:32:15,993 --> 00:32:18,689 As we all know, sir, ours is a mercantile world. 568 00:32:18,817 --> 00:32:20,150 It's a world of give and take. 569 00:32:20,175 --> 00:32:21,549 Our friend in Scotland, for instance, 570 00:32:21,573 --> 00:32:24,202 has a fondness for Sicilian olives, which I can get. 571 00:32:24,365 --> 00:32:26,775 Now, if I was Mess Officer, I'd have control 572 00:32:26,800 --> 00:32:28,581 of the flight manifests of the cargo planes... 573 00:32:28,605 --> 00:32:30,306 the outgoings, the incomings, 574 00:32:30,331 --> 00:32:31,501 and so on and so forth. 575 00:32:31,604 --> 00:32:33,962 Our friend in Scotland would be happy in the northern mists 576 00:32:33,987 --> 00:32:37,127 with his olives. You'd be happy with your lamb chops. 577 00:32:37,477 --> 00:32:40,205 I could devote my full attention to such matters, 578 00:32:40,230 --> 00:32:42,400 and it's not just Donibristle we're talking about. 579 00:32:42,425 --> 00:32:45,026 Do you like strudel, sir? 580 00:32:45,125 --> 00:32:46,901 Everybody likes strudel, son. 581 00:32:46,971 --> 00:32:48,643 That's exactly right, sir. 582 00:32:48,668 --> 00:32:51,018 And when was the last time you had strudel, sir? 583 00:32:51,175 --> 00:32:52,987 - Not recently. - Me neither, I miss it. 584 00:32:53,012 --> 00:32:54,026 I miss it, too. 585 00:32:54,051 --> 00:32:55,322 - As do I. - Me too. 586 00:32:55,375 --> 00:32:56,511 Well, it needn't be this way. 587 00:32:56,535 --> 00:32:58,487 We shouldn't have to miss strudel, sir. 588 00:32:58,512 --> 00:33:01,033 If I was Mess Officer, I could fix it. 589 00:33:01,979 --> 00:33:03,202 What's your name, son? 590 00:33:03,303 --> 00:33:06,190 I'm Milo Minderbinder, sir. I'm 27 years old. 591 00:33:54,239 --> 00:33:55,874 Clear sailing today, fellas. 592 00:33:55,898 --> 00:33:57,618 Like a day in the country. 593 00:33:58,060 --> 00:33:59,360 Clear skies up ahead. 594 00:33:59,385 --> 00:34:01,096 Beautiful day for a milk run, boys. 595 00:34:01,217 --> 00:34:03,304 Blue skies. Cloud nine. 596 00:34:03,337 --> 00:34:05,006 Holding steady at two-four-eight. 597 00:34:05,108 --> 00:34:07,703 Two-four-eight, 70,200. 598 00:34:08,109 --> 00:34:09,938 Got to be on top of it. Where we at? 599 00:34:10,191 --> 00:34:13,047 Closing in on target. 30 seconds to run. 600 00:34:13,126 --> 00:34:14,484 Copy that. 30 seconds. 601 00:34:14,518 --> 00:34:15,828 Yo-Yo, you ready? 602 00:34:16,115 --> 00:34:18,995 Yo-Yo, drop them, and let's get the fuck out of here. 603 00:34:19,339 --> 00:34:20,539 Holding steady. 604 00:34:20,656 --> 00:34:22,074 Oh, shit! 605 00:34:22,099 --> 00:34:23,891 Oh, hold on! We got it! Hold on! 606 00:34:26,252 --> 00:34:27,985 Look out! Will you hurry the fuck up? 607 00:34:28,050 --> 00:34:29,336 Jesus Christ. 608 00:34:29,361 --> 00:34:31,008 Not a milk run anymore, fellas. 609 00:34:31,033 --> 00:34:32,618 Here we go again. Hold steady. 610 00:34:32,955 --> 00:34:34,219 Harvey, where we at? 611 00:34:34,383 --> 00:34:36,836 Hey, McWatt, bring her to 066. 612 00:34:36,861 --> 00:34:37,891 Roger that. 613 00:34:37,916 --> 00:34:39,710 Steady! Steady! 614 00:34:39,735 --> 00:34:41,362 All right, boys, we're approaching. 615 00:34:41,387 --> 00:34:42,907 Yossarian, what's your heading? 616 00:34:44,254 --> 00:34:46,368 Hey, Yossarian, you got to get above me. 617 00:34:53,583 --> 00:34:55,016 Hey, Yossarian, you hear me? 618 00:34:55,431 --> 00:34:57,711 Yo-Yo, what the fuck is going on down there? 619 00:34:58,904 --> 00:34:59,977 Yossarian. 620 00:35:01,160 --> 00:35:02,993 - Oh! - Holy shit! 621 00:35:03,018 --> 00:35:04,250 What the fuck was that? 622 00:35:09,081 --> 00:35:11,627 - Oh! - Holy fuck! 623 00:35:11,871 --> 00:35:12,994 What happened to Dunbar? 624 00:35:13,018 --> 00:35:14,227 Was he wearing his chute? 625 00:35:17,922 --> 00:35:19,090 We're getting close! 626 00:35:19,255 --> 00:35:21,634 Hold steady. Seven-six. 627 00:35:21,860 --> 00:35:23,570 - Uh... - Here I go! 628 00:35:23,595 --> 00:35:24,868 Okay. 629 00:35:25,334 --> 00:35:26,438 You there, Yo-Yo? 630 00:35:26,463 --> 00:35:27,715 Steady! Hold steady! 631 00:35:27,740 --> 00:35:29,235 Drop them, Yo-Yo. 632 00:35:29,295 --> 00:35:31,368 Go, goddamn it! Nately, we're holding! 633 00:35:31,463 --> 00:35:32,463 Shut up! 634 00:35:32,488 --> 00:35:34,274 Yossarian, we're approaching. You got that? 635 00:35:34,299 --> 00:35:35,657 I got it, I got it! 636 00:35:35,682 --> 00:35:36,828 Ten seconds. 637 00:35:37,509 --> 00:35:38,711 Steady. 638 00:35:39,325 --> 00:35:40,594 Oh, shit! 639 00:35:40,771 --> 00:35:41,898 And... 640 00:35:42,009 --> 00:35:43,010 Drop them! 641 00:35:43,035 --> 00:35:44,274 Okay, bombs away! 642 00:35:44,711 --> 00:35:47,289 Okay, uh, McWatt, get us out of here! 643 00:35:47,314 --> 00:35:49,469 Get us the goddamn fuck out of here! 644 00:35:50,188 --> 00:35:52,110 Oh, shit! 645 00:35:52,661 --> 00:35:54,438 Oh, fuck! 646 00:36:13,481 --> 00:36:14,481 His face... 647 00:36:15,625 --> 00:36:16,742 it was right there. 648 00:36:18,958 --> 00:36:21,032 And it was one of those moments when... 649 00:36:21,858 --> 00:36:22,858 you know... 650 00:36:24,537 --> 00:36:26,876 It couldn't have been more than half a second... less than that. 651 00:36:26,900 --> 00:36:27,953 But he was... 652 00:36:30,261 --> 00:36:31,407 I can see everything. 653 00:36:33,521 --> 00:36:36,672 Every hair in his nostril, that crooked tooth. 654 00:36:38,464 --> 00:36:39,464 And his eyes... 655 00:36:40,181 --> 00:36:42,618 there was no life flashing before them or any of that. 656 00:36:43,395 --> 00:36:44,586 It's just terror. 657 00:36:46,881 --> 00:36:47,881 That's all it was. 658 00:36:50,968 --> 00:36:52,012 Shit. 659 00:36:54,258 --> 00:36:55,813 Yo-Yo, that ain't right. 660 00:37:19,555 --> 00:37:20,633 Gentlemen. 661 00:37:21,656 --> 00:37:22,773 Gentlemen! 662 00:37:24,565 --> 00:37:25,992 Gentlemen! 663 00:37:28,545 --> 00:37:29,906 Gentlemen! 664 00:37:34,797 --> 00:37:37,000 What's gotten into you fellas today, huh? 665 00:37:40,351 --> 00:37:41,870 Come on, guys! 666 00:37:42,209 --> 00:37:43,209 Because... 667 00:37:54,515 --> 00:37:56,383 What is this, ladies' night out? 668 00:37:56,555 --> 00:37:57,836 Hmm? 669 00:37:58,049 --> 00:37:59,852 Is this ladies' night out, by any chance, 670 00:37:59,877 --> 00:38:02,437 - Lieutenant Colonel Korn? - No, sir, it is not. 671 00:38:04,264 --> 00:38:05,617 Are you ladies settled? 672 00:38:09,110 --> 00:38:10,110 All right, then. 673 00:38:12,622 --> 00:38:14,792 I'm Colonel Cathcart, and as of now, 674 00:38:14,793 --> 00:38:18,633 I'm in charge of you sorry-ass bunch of homosexuals. 675 00:38:21,031 --> 00:38:25,215 Now, I understand that you were very fond of Colonel Copeland. 676 00:38:25,648 --> 00:38:27,902 Well, guess what. Boo-hoo. I know Jerry Copeland. 677 00:38:27,903 --> 00:38:29,404 He's an outstanding commander, 678 00:38:29,405 --> 00:38:30,991 and he is an upstanding American. 679 00:38:30,992 --> 00:38:32,180 And guess what. 680 00:38:32,620 --> 00:38:34,703 Nothing changes, gentlemen. 681 00:38:34,833 --> 00:38:36,734 Oh, the faces may change. 682 00:38:36,970 --> 00:38:39,453 But our purpose and our resolve remain the same. 683 00:38:39,852 --> 00:38:43,057 We keep doing things the same way we've been doing them 684 00:38:43,058 --> 00:38:45,852 because we are the United States Army Air Force. 685 00:38:47,710 --> 00:38:49,180 And what is our purpose? 686 00:38:53,874 --> 00:38:54,874 Anybody. 687 00:38:57,398 --> 00:38:59,101 - Unbelievable. - Soldier. 688 00:38:59,570 --> 00:39:02,265 - To defeat the enemy, sir. - To defeat the enemy. 689 00:39:02,930 --> 00:39:06,771 Now, some of us... some of us are making the ultimate sacrifice 690 00:39:06,772 --> 00:39:08,664 on land, on sea, and in the air, 691 00:39:08,828 --> 00:39:10,528 while others of us apparently think 692 00:39:10,529 --> 00:39:13,451 we are at the Ladies' Auxiliary fucking Fund-raiser! 693 00:39:13,452 --> 00:39:15,180 You are American officers! 694 00:39:15,205 --> 00:39:17,500 And the officers of no other army in the world 695 00:39:17,501 --> 00:39:18,906 can make that statement! 696 00:39:19,117 --> 00:39:20,494 You think about that. 697 00:39:22,595 --> 00:39:25,539 Now, let's get down to brass tacks. 698 00:39:26,086 --> 00:39:28,289 I am gonna toughen you ladies up. 699 00:39:29,078 --> 00:39:30,828 And here's where I'm gonna start. 700 00:39:32,759 --> 00:39:35,836 I have decided to raise the mission count from 25 to 30. 701 00:39:35,861 --> 00:39:38,742 That's exciting, isn't it? You're goddamn right it is! 702 00:39:38,834 --> 00:39:40,664 30 missions effective immediately. 703 00:39:41,508 --> 00:39:43,052 We're winning this thing, gentlemen. 704 00:39:43,053 --> 00:39:44,484 We're beating the bastards. 705 00:39:45,211 --> 00:39:46,797 So three cheers for us. 706 00:39:51,828 --> 00:39:53,515 - Hip, hip! - Hooray. 707 00:39:53,540 --> 00:39:55,789 - Hip, hip! - Hooray! 708 00:39:58,052 --> 00:40:00,726 You're goddamn right hooray! 709 00:40:13,980 --> 00:40:15,492 Doc, look, you got to help me. 710 00:40:15,517 --> 00:40:16,894 Let's forget about the liver. 711 00:40:17,008 --> 00:40:18,927 You can ground me if I'm crazy, right? 712 00:40:18,952 --> 00:40:20,907 Oh, sure, I have to. I have to ground anyone who's crazy. 713 00:40:20,931 --> 00:40:22,312 Then ground me. I'm crazy. 714 00:40:22,337 --> 00:40:24,672 - You're not crazy. - But I am! Ask anyone. 715 00:40:24,697 --> 00:40:25,775 They'll tell you how crazy I am. 716 00:40:25,799 --> 00:40:26,805 Yeah, but they're crazy. 717 00:40:26,953 --> 00:40:28,126 Then why don't you ground them? 718 00:40:28,150 --> 00:40:29,630 Why don't they ask me to ground them? 719 00:40:29,668 --> 00:40:31,856 - 'Cause they're crazy. That's why. - Of course they're crazy. 720 00:40:31,880 --> 00:40:33,488 I just told you they're crazy, didn't I? 721 00:40:33,513 --> 00:40:35,082 And you can't have crazy people decide 722 00:40:35,107 --> 00:40:36,246 whether you're crazy or not. 723 00:40:37,325 --> 00:40:39,449 - Is Orr crazy? - Oh, he sure is. 724 00:40:39,893 --> 00:40:41,684 - Can you ground him? - I sure can. 725 00:40:41,708 --> 00:40:43,144 But first he has to ask me to. 726 00:40:43,537 --> 00:40:46,160 - Then why doesn't he ask you? - Because he's crazy. 727 00:40:46,289 --> 00:40:48,653 You'd have to be crazy to want to keep flying combat missions. 728 00:40:48,677 --> 00:40:50,941 Sure, I can ground Orr. But first he has to ask me to. 729 00:40:51,267 --> 00:40:53,103 And that's all he has to do to be grounded? 730 00:40:53,128 --> 00:40:54,608 That's it. Just let him ask. 731 00:40:54,661 --> 00:40:55,724 And then you can ground him? 732 00:40:55,748 --> 00:40:57,215 No, then I can't ground him. 733 00:40:57,635 --> 00:40:59,355 - Why not? - Catch-22. 734 00:40:59,498 --> 00:41:02,488 Anyone who wants to get out of combat duty isn't really crazy. 735 00:41:02,753 --> 00:41:06,324 Catch-22 specifies that a concern for one's own safety 736 00:41:06,349 --> 00:41:08,138 in the face of danger... real and immediate... 737 00:41:08,162 --> 00:41:10,043 is the process of a rational mind. 738 00:41:10,427 --> 00:41:11,427 What? 739 00:41:11,452 --> 00:41:14,037 Orr's crazy, and therefore he can get out 740 00:41:14,062 --> 00:41:16,273 of flying combat missions... all he has to do is ask. 741 00:41:16,353 --> 00:41:19,154 But as soon as he asks, he's no longer crazy, 742 00:41:19,179 --> 00:41:20,709 and so he has to fly more missions. 743 00:41:20,833 --> 00:41:21,833 What? 744 00:41:21,858 --> 00:41:24,318 Orr would be crazy to want to fly more missions 745 00:41:24,343 --> 00:41:26,209 and sane if he didn't, but if he's sane, 746 00:41:26,496 --> 00:41:27,717 then he has to fly them. 747 00:41:28,060 --> 00:41:29,693 If he flies them, then he's crazy, 748 00:41:29,718 --> 00:41:30,764 and so he doesn't have to. 749 00:41:30,875 --> 00:41:33,248 But if he doesn't want to, then he's sane, 750 00:41:33,316 --> 00:41:34,897 and so he has to. 751 00:41:41,570 --> 00:41:43,280 That's some catch, that Catch-22. 752 00:41:43,890 --> 00:41:45,226 It's the best there is. 753 00:41:59,099 --> 00:42:00,726 It's getting hot up here, fellas. 754 00:42:00,916 --> 00:42:01,944 Oh, shit! 755 00:42:01,969 --> 00:42:04,343 All right, boys, just hold it steady right here. 756 00:42:04,368 --> 00:42:06,522 - Hold steady! - Holy fuck. 757 00:42:06,547 --> 00:42:09,358 Closing in on target. 30 seconds to run. 758 00:42:09,660 --> 00:42:11,382 Okay, that's 30 seconds to run. 759 00:42:11,407 --> 00:42:12,819 30 seconds, fellas! 760 00:42:17,634 --> 00:42:18,702 Hold steady. 761 00:42:19,398 --> 00:42:21,061 Okay, copy that! 762 00:43:18,209 --> 00:43:23,209 Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie www.addic7ed.com 55866

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.