All language subtitles for Bixler.High.Private.Eye.2019 english

♪♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, get on back ♪

♪ Don't sweat,
just stay on track ♪

♪ Act like you got
a joke to crack ♪

♪ No joke, gotta get on,
get on, get on back ♪

♪ Get back,
gonna fade to black ♪

♪ You wanna find me,
you know where I'm at ♪

♪ Drive this like you
stole that ♪

♪ You know I'm bad
in a big red Cadillac... ♪♪

She's a gem,
ain't she?

♪♪

[door beeping]

Might be just what
I'm looking for.

Of course, I'll...
need to take a test drive.

You'll need to sit down
with our manager first.

We can't let just anyone
take her for a spin.

Could be some kid.Sounds fair.

Let me speak
to your manager.

He's out to lunch
right now,

but he should be back
any minute.

Can I get you anything,
Mister...?

Styles.
Harold Styles.

And, uh, yeah, can I get
a coffee, black?

Room temp.
Thanks, buddy.

[Xander]
My name is Xander DeWitt.

That's spelled with an "X,"
as in "X marks the spot."

And, no, I'm not
some high-rolling,

drag-racing gear head.

I'm a private eye,
a detective.

Well, kind of.
I say "kind of"

because I'm still
in high school, technically.

I say "technically" because
I've been racking up
the absences

ever since
my dad disappeared.

[computer trilling]

[computer chimes]

Your coffee,
Mr. Styles.

What do-- security!

Catch!

♪♪

Ah!

[alarm blaring]

Security!
Stop that kid!

[car alarm blaring]

♪♪

[grunting]
Get him, little buddy!

Oh, I shouldn't have
had lunch-- Aww!

♪♪

[air deflating rapidly]

[grunting]

Rad Rocket,
don't fail me now.

♪♪

[grunting]

[engine turns over]

[tires screeching]

Son of a--
get the plate number
on that scooter!

Get back here!So long, suckers!

[Xander groans]

Hey, Mom.

Can my friends
stay over for dinner?

I told them that we're having
coffee and donuts.

You, inside, now.

You got it.
Hey, listen, guys.

It's been real.
Thanks for the lift.

All right?
Five-star rating
for both of you.

Xander!
Got it.

And don't get oil
on my floors!

Nice mustache.

Hey, you guys don't still do
that thing where you throw a kid

in a jail cell
to scare him straight, do you?

Oh...

[remote beeps]

[Xander]
My dad was an engineer.

One day, three months ago,
he left for work and...

vanished without a trace.

Now, I knew in my gut
that, wherever he was,

he was still alive
and he was in trouble.

There was nothing anyone could
do to stop me from finding him.

Let's see if we can find
my dad's car.

[computer trilling]

Imagine never hearing
from your best friend again.

Hey, buddy, I'm back.Dad.

Got you one more
for the board.

There were more scooters
than cars in that country.

It reminded me
of the Rad Rocket.

Cool postcard, Dad.
Thanks.

[Russell]
Good to be home, son.

[knock at door]

[Ellen]
Xander?[remote beeps]

Hey.
Skipping school?

Again?
What were you thinking?

I was thinking that
there was an amazing
sale on Lamborghinis,

and I didn't wanna
pass that up.

Xander, listen.

You need to go
to school.

And you're obviously
too distracted
to do that here,

so I'm sending you
to Bixler High,

and you're gonna live
with Grandpa.

What?
No.

No, no, no, no, no, Mom.
Mom, I can't stay with Grandpa.

Okay, he walks around
in his underwear.

And poops
with the door open.

Xan, you need
to stay out of trouble.

Mother, please.

I-I'm never gonna stay
with Grandpa, okay?

His house smells
like cheese.

[computer chimes]

♪♪

[chuckles]

[Xander]
140 Elk Avenue Bixler Valley.

Where Grandpa lives?

You know what?
Yes.

I should stay
with Grandpa.

What?Huh?

What?
[chuckling]

I like old people...
and I love cheese.

♪♪

[Xander]
Okay, just to recap,
this was big.

The dealership's GPS records
showed my dad's car

in Bixler Valley
on the same day he disappeared.

Heh, for three months,
my mom had been telling me

to drop the case
and trust the professionals,

and now she was dragging me
to my next lead.

[heavy metal music playing
on car stereo]

[indistinct screaming singing]

♪♪

Bixler Valley.

The same rinky-dink town
where my dad grew up.

The kind of place
that made people say,

"Hey, slow down, I think we took
a wrong turn somewhere."

It was slowly falling apart...

except for a few buildings
that were quickly falling apart.

Whoa.

Video Store?
What's a "Video Store"?

[chimes ringing]

♪♪

Sully, you pinhead!
Move that big, ugly wagon!

Half my lawn
isn't getting any sun!

[Sully]
Buzz off, DeWitt!

I got new dentures
that are tougher than you!

Ah!
You want me
to come over there

and break in
your new dentures for you?

[vehicle approaching]

[hip-hop music playing
on car stereo]

[Xander]
My grandfather, Charlie DeWitt.

Grandpa used to be
a private eye.

Mom says that's where
I get it from.

I guess we get along okay,

but we usually only ever saw
each other on the holidays.

[horn honking]It's much easier to get along

when there are presents.[car doors closing]

I don't know how you
talked me into this, Ellen.

How am I supposed
to keep kids off my lawn

when I got a kid
hanging around my lawn?

Good to see you too, Grandpa.Yeah, yeah.

Okay.
Okay.All right, now.

I already spoke
to the superintendent

at Bixler Valley High.
He starts tomorrow.

What am I supposed
to feed him?

Looks like I need
to fatten him up.

Be good.Yes.

Listen to Grandpa.
And don't give up hope, okay?

Okay.They're gonna find Dad.

I know, Mom.I love you so much.

[Xander]
Ugh! This part kind of drags.

I love you too, Mommy.[Xander]
Let's skip ahead.

Basically I was like,
"Get out of here, Mom.

I got this," and she was
like, you know,

just getting into the good-byes
and stuff.

Yeah, I mean, I was never much
of a mama's boy.

Come on, mama's boy.

Let's go.
Double time.

Let's go over
the ground rules.

Number one,
I'm very particular
about my lawn.

Nothing goes on my lawn
unless I want it there.

No trash, no parties,
no ugly motor homes.

No problem.
I don't even have one.

Number two,
don't touch
my garden hose.

Technically it's
a modified fire hose.

Not exactly street legal.

Not sure why
you even need that.

Number three, no jokes
about my prosthetic leg.

Yeah, I wouldn't stand
for that either.

I'm just--
I'm just kidding.

[Xander]
I grew up hearing stories
about Grandpa.

Charlie DeWitt,
fearless private eye.

He ran his very own
detective agency for 30 years

till he got hurt on the job,
lost one of his legs

and all his nerve.

Nowadays, the only time he ever
picked up a magnifying glass

was to read the paper.

♪♪

What is that?
An evidence board?

When I started as a PI,
I put everything up
on the walls everywhere.

Any space I could find.
Except the bathroom.

That place was sacred.
Drove your grandma nuts.

[chuckles]

I could really use your help
if you wanna see what I got.

I can't do that.

Grandpa... why not?

Look, kid.
I know this is
hard for you.

I miss him too,
but some things are
out of our control.

If studying the evidence
makes you feel better,
that's fine,

but we promised your mom
you'd stay out of trouble.

So your jurisdiction
is limited to this room,
okay?

Okay.

[Xander]
Not okay.

My grandpa may be retired,

but this was my first night
in Bixler,

and I had a lead to pursue.

[Charlie]
Not tonight, kiddo.

Get back to bed.

You got school
in the morning.

[toilet flushing]

[Xander]
Eh, I know what you're thinking.

High school can be hard
for the new kid.

Well, don't worry about me.
Look.

With a new school,
you gotta blend in.

You gotta just...

[both]
Not cool.

Pick that up.

[bell rings]

That's the bell, gang.
Find your seats, please.

Hope y'all did
your homework assignment.

'Cause today is pop quiz day.

That's my desk,
hairball!

Uh...
[scoffs]

Okay.
If you say so.

[Mr. Wells]
Okay, great.

I can see on your faces
you know the drill.

Take one, pass it back.

Okay, let's pick up
where we left off?

Who can tell me
the four layers of the Earth?

Kenzie?

Crust, mantle,
outer core, inner core.

Right.
And the biggest layer is?

Kenzie?

The mantle comprises 84%
of the Earth,

and it's made
of silicon, magnesium,

and other minerals.

He didn't ask what it
was made of, hairball.

Great. And the plates
that form the shell?

What do we call those?
Yeah, new guy.

"Ex-zander"?

Uh, yeah, Xander.
Or just Xan for short.

I go by Xan sometimes.
Um...

I'm sorry.
What was the question?Tectonic plates!

Boom.

[Mr. Wells]
That's right.
And those plates

are always shifting even if we
can't always feel it.

And that scientific process,
what is that called?

Kenzie?Tectonic shift.

Right.
As the molten iron...

[Xander]
Granted, I was only the new kid,

but science was my jam.

This little suck-up
was cramping my style.

[Mr. Wells]
...protecting us
from the sun's radiation.

Now, this is important
because...

[Xander]
10 bucks she's the type of girl

who arched her eyebrow
and never smiled in pictures.

Now, this should be an easy one.
When the tension builds up

and those tectonic plates shift,
what do we call that?

[bell rings]

[woman on PA]
Students, join the chess club.

Today is the last day
for sign-ups.

"Swim meet ruined
by loose deuce in pool."

That'll keep me out of the water
in this town.

[Xander]
"The Kenzie File,"
by Margaret MacKenzie Messina,

investigative reporter.

And there's the eyebrow.

Called it.

♪♪

[Xander]
Meanwhile, my hot lead
was cooling off.

So, that night, after I thought
I heard the last flush,

I made my move.

You just don't give up,
do you, kid?

I promised your mom
I'd keep you on the level,
but take it from me.

If you keep snooping around,
sooner or later...

[metal leg clanging]
...you get hurt.

Grandpa, when was
the last time Dad was here?

Like, here in this town?

That'd be Christmas
when you said

you needed to solve
the case of my missing pants.

Yeah, well,
you weren't wearing any,

so they had
to be somewhere.Anyway.

That was the last time
he was here.

Nine months ago.
Why?

These are GPS records
from his car.

The last address was here
in Bixler Valley,

three months ago,
June 25th.

That was the day
he disappeared.

Could they make it
any smaller?

Yeah, yeah, sure.

You're not gonna find
your dad there, kid.

Used to be
the old library.

Half the building collapsed.But we gotta investigate.

I mean, this is a huge lead.But let's face facts.

I'm a one-legged old man
and you've got school
in the morning.

But...

there's not much I can do
while I'm asleep.

When do you go to bed?

11:30 every night
of the week,

and I sleep like a rock.Good to know.

Long as you're
in your room every morning,
I don't ask questions,

but if you get arrested...Won't happen.

...or get hurt...I'll shake it off.

...or, so help me,
wind up missing

like your old man...

I'll-I'll send
an S.O.S.

That's the universal
distress signal.

I know what
an S.O.S. is, kid!

Got it.

[Xander]
The old man was tough,

but he knew a big lead
when he saw one.

And just like that,
I was back on my case.

Grandpa was right about
140 Elk Avenue.

That library was falling apart.

Looked like a gentle breeze
could've finished the job.

But for some reason,
my dad pointed

his steering wheel
towards this address.

[police siren whoops]

You there.

Get down from the fence
nice and slow.

Officer!
[chuckles]

Thank goodness you're here.
Can you give me a boost
up this fence?

I'm, um, trying to get
to the young adult section.

You see that sign
right there?

Uh, no, I don't understand
sign language.

[both chuckling]

Up against the car,
wise guy.

Here we go.

Whoa.

Kenny Mack, caterer.
Steven Demarco, the captain.

DJ See-Sawyer?

The real one's
right there.
Ah.

[Jack]
Something wrong, Sheriff?

Oh, uh, evening, Mr. Finn.

I just caught this young man
trespassing on your site.

Seriously, Brent?
Loosen up.

What's your name, bud?

Squarepants.
Robert Squarepants.

My friends call me Bob.Bob, Jack Finn.
Nice to meet you.

His name is Xander DeWitt.

Wait, DeWitt?

Any relation
to Russell DeWitt?

He's my father.

Do you know him?
Uh, yeah.

I used to.
Like, 30 years ago.

How is old Rusty?
Is he in town?

He's missing.

Missing?

Disappeared
three months ago.

I'm staying with
my grandpa for now.

Charlie DeWitt.

Never really liked me much.

I-I wasn't trespassing.

I just-- I thought
I saw somebody there.

Oh, that would be me,
doing a final inventory

before I demo the place,
put up a new one.

You should probably
get on home, bud.

And, uh, good luck.
Hope you find your dad.

Thanks.

♪♪

[Xander]
Now we were getting somewhere.

My dad collected postcards from
every one of his business trips.

This postcard was proof
that he'd been here in town.

I could already hear my mom
or my grandpa saying,

"Trust the pros.
Go to the police."

But that bozo Sheriff Mundy?

That guy was all mustache,
no brains.

I couldn't trust the pros,
but I had my next lead.

The Bixler Valley
Historic Diner.

[country music playing
on speakers]

♪♪

[female voice on GPS]
You have arrived

at the Bixler Valley
Historic Diner.

♪♪

Uh... excuse me?
[grunting]

Sir, could I get some help?

I'm looking
for the, uh, the diner.

Get lost, hairball.

Hairball?

Go away!
You're gonna blow my cover.

As a bearded lady
from the circus?

See that store?

Kids keep breaking in
and stealing fireworks.

And when I find out how
they're doing it,

I'm gonna publish
a very important exposé.

So beat it!

How about this?

Show me what you got,
and if I can beat that case

in under five minutes,
I get your desk
in science class.

We got a deal?

The whole place is alarmed,
and the lock

is an electronic
three-digit code.

Old Man Rafferty
is the only one
who knows the code,

but no matter
how many times
he changes it,

somebody keeps cracking it.

Ten digits,
three-digit code means

1,000 possible
combinations.

[recorder beeps]

The new kid appears
to be using some sort
of ultraviolet app.

His dimwitted appearance hides
a surprising tech-savvy--

Okay, what?
Would you mind?

Thank you.

This is how they're
cracking the code.

They're using
ultraviolet light to see
the old man's fingerprints.

These three digits
in varying orders,
gives us...

[both]
...six possible combinations.

Exactly.

[keypad beeping, buzzing]

[keypad chimes,
door lock clicks]

[keypad beeps]

Tell the old man
what's-his-name

to sanitize the keypad
every time
he punches in a code.

All right?
I'll see you around.

Or should I say
you'll be seeing

the back of my head
in class?

Hang on!
I have a proposition.

You see, my column
keeps me very busy,

and you seem to have
a certain raggedy insight.

No dice, kiddo.
I work alone.
As do I.

But I have a whole backlog
of unfinished stories.

I said I work alone.

You're the new kid
in town.

You need somebody
to show you around,

and I need somebody
to help crack my stories.

Yeah, I didn't come here
to sell school papers.

Fine, but if you're looking
for the diner,

you won't find it.

Why is that?

Because it doesn't
exist anymore.

The whole thing collapsed
about a month ago.

And you see,
you would know all of that

if you had someone like me
around, but you don't, so...

Okay, fine.

You wanna team up?
Let's team up.

All right, but it's
totally noncommittal.

The ace detective
fears commitment.Uh--

You wanna work together,
you gotta keep up, okay?

I think fast,
I work fast,

and I move fast.

Oh.

That's a lot of "fast"s
for a guy on a scooter.

[mocking, muttering]

See you in class!

[Xander]
I was right back
where I belonged,

sitting front row, center.

Totally killing it
in science class.

And my partner got
an up-close look

at the back of my head.

[school bell ringing]

[Xander]
I was stuck with a new partner

and she was sticking me
with her unfinished stories.

Okay, partner,
this one's a real
head-scratcher.

Whoa, yeah, I'm gonna
stop you right there.

Uh, I'm not your partner,
you're my partner.

No, I asked you first.
I'm pretty sure

that that makes it
the other way around.

Well...Now, some of the food

in Home Ec has been
coming out blue.

Seems like all the sweets.

Blue muffins,
blue cookies.

I need to have a look
at that pantry.

Some joker's been
cutting the sugar

with gelatin mix.

Turns blue
when you add water.

Headline--
"Food Blued by Rude Dude."

30 dodgeballs went
missing from the gym.

I compiled a list
of athletes

with prior offenses.

Uh-uh.

Athletes are too obvious.

Ask yourself,
who stands to gain

from missing dodgeballs?

Honor students, ma--
Maybe the chess club.

Probably none of those.

You want a cookie?
They're good.

The school nurse.

Eliminate the game
of dodgeball

and you cut the nurse's
workload in half.

The nurse took
the dodgeballs.

"Missing Dodge Balls Found."

School nurse admits
to ball-hogging.

This one has been
stumping me for weeks.

The custodians swear
that the music room
is haunted.

And they say every night
after dark,

they hear somebody
tapping piano keys.

There's your story.

Tiny little poo-poos.

No ghost here,
just a couple of mice

running across the keys
at night.

"Paranormal Pianist Produces
Petite Poo Poos."

If the custodian
hears a tuba,

then you got
a ghost story.

Wow, you really do
think fast, work fast,

and move fast.

Miss Messina,
of "The Kenzie File"?

Cara Jean Sprule,
of the fifth grade.

I read your columns.

And I'm here to offer you
the biggest story of your life.

Fire away.

My dog is missing.

Ahem, pass.

I'm sorry,
but who are you?

Xander DeWitt,
of the County Orange.

Never heard of you.

You're ten years old.

You probably don't know
your own parents' names.

So... Mm-hmm.Xander!

Look, I am sorry
about your dog.

But it's a small town
and I am sure he'll turn up.

Uh, yeah, maybe try
putting up some fliers

and checking the pound.

I've already done
those things.

I'm not stupid,
stupid!

[grunts]

You said the name
is Cara, right?

Cara Jean Sprule
of the fifth grade.

Okay, give me a flier
and we'll look into it.

His name is Skyler McMuffin.

He's got blond hair
and pink highlights.

And for your expenses...

Oh, that's really not...I insist.

The Sprules have deep
couch cushions.

Okay, well, um,
we're on the case.

Thank you so much.
No thanks to you.

[grunts]

I do not do lost pets.

I'm not
12 years old anymore.

Okay, but cute dogs
in jeopardy sell papers.

And if we're lucky,
we'll find him

in a sewer
or under a bridge

clinging to life
against all odds.

Yeah, well, how about this
for a story?

What's with random buildings
spontaneously collapsing

in this town?

First the library
back in July.

Then the diner
a month ago.

No fires, no termites,
just crash.

We should take
a closer look
at those places.

That's definitely weird.

But this isn't fancy pants
Orange County.

Bixler Valley is just old.

And the old mine across town
goes back 200 years.

Whoa, whoa, whoa...
What are you doing?

What are you doing?What?

I drive, you ride.You don't trust me?

Is this because
I'm a girl?

Uh, for the record,

I barely even noticed
you were a girl.

Come on.

You got me
my own helmet.

That is so sweet.

And you even got
my initials right.

Did I?
I didn't even notice.

Just chose the cheapest
one on sale.

♪♪

[Xander]
This town had seen
two buildings collapse

in the past three months.

I had a strong hunch it had
something to do with my dad.

And my hunches were usually
never wrong... sometimes.

3:05, we approach
the old library.

And 3:05,
we pass the old library.

I thought we were
stopping here.

Uh, yeah, so did I.

Brakes aren't working
and the accelerator is stuck!

You still wanna drive?No.

[railroad crossing bell ringing]

[train whistle blowing]

We might have
another problem.

Hang on![screaming]

[train whistle blaring]

We gotta stop this thing.

We need like something solid
like a crash pad.

Take that road!Okay.

We're not slowing down.
We are not slowing down.

The hay!
Aim for the hay!

Okay.We gotta jump!

Yeah, yeah, yeah.Ready?

Jump!

[chickens clucking]

We were supposed
to jump off.

I tense up
at high speeds.

Hey!No, no, no, I'm not driving
through any more hay.

No, not hay, hey.
Tractor.

[horn honking]Hey, get off the road!

What should we do?I got an idea.

Bear right.What's on the right?

Trust me!All right, hang on.

[horn honks]

[both screaming]

[frog croaking]

Snake! There's a snake!
There's a snake!

Xander!Pull it off!

It's a vine.

Okay?This is a great idea?

This pond probably
saved our lives.

This is not a pond, Kenzie.
This is a swamp.

We're in a swamp.

What are you doing?
Don't do that.

Don't you dare.

Don't-- don't you dare
do that.

Ace detective Xander DeWitt
attacked by local vine.

Yeah, well...
ace reporter...

What?...is weird.

Uh-huh, whatever.

[laughs]

[shrieks]

[toilet flushing]

Whatever you kids
are doing out there,

you're doing it wrong.

Feel free to clean
yourselves up.

You might wanna use
the other bathroom.

I gotta say that was
actually kind of... fun.

Racing on the Rad Rocket,
crashing into the pond.

Fighting a snake.

Okay, it wasn't a snake,
but it looked like one...

Kenzie, Kenzie.

I'm dissolving
this partnership.

Look, what happened
out there,

that wasn't
an accident, okay?

Somebody cut the brakes
and rigged the accelerator.

You're messing
with me, right?

My dad disappeared
three months ago.

I think he's
in town somewhere.

And somebody's trying
to scare me off the case.

And he's my own dad,
so I'll risk my neck

a thousand times
for him,

but I'm not gonna
risk yours, okay?

No, Xander, no.

I-- I'm so sorry.

But that's even more reason
why I should stick around.

We can find your dad
together.

I mean, we just pulled
your scooter out of a pond.

It's a swamp.

But we towed it out
using nothing but vines

and brainpower.

Genius.

[sighs]
Well, thank you.

I--No, no, no.

I was talking
about me.

The GPS in my dad's car
brought him here

to this town, right?

Suppose he parked it
and never came back?

It'd get towed.Exactly.

Every town has a place
where they towed the cars.

Right? We just gotta go
and find that--

Whoa!
That is not gonna work.

Why not?They take cars
to Trucker Joe's.

And you cannot sneak
into Trucker Joe's.

It's like a fortress.

[Xander]
Well, Trucker Joe's
might be a fortress,

but I'm a master of disguise.

Give me five minutes
and a funny wig

and I can talk my way
into the White House.

Is there any takeout
places around here?

Did you work up
an appetite?

[Xander]
And the way
into a man's fortress

is through his stomach.

[distant dog barking]

[commentator on TV]
Thompson drops back.

Heavy pressure from the defense.

He doesn't have a lot of time.

There's the pass to Carter. Incom--

[fence rattling]

[door buzzes]

[Joe belches]

[mimics stoner]
Oh! Trucker Joe!

Bon appetit.

I didn't order nothin'.
Get lost.

Whoa... no, no.
It's-- it's free.

It's on the house.

You got two seconds
to tell me where you're from

before I punch you
over that gate.

Okay, so my mom's
from Fresno.

And then
we moved from Mexico...

The food, bonehead.

[chuckling]
Oh...

Yeah, we're brand-new.

We're called Hungry Pete's
Chicken & Meat.

Hungry Pete's what?

Chicken & Meat, dude.

Chicken & Meat?
Chicken is meat.

Whoa...

Anyways, we're celebrating
our grand opening

by making special deliveries
to local business owners.

That's you, dude.

Well, all right.
I like meat.

Remember, it's a silver sedan
with vanity plates.

DeWitt.

[Joe]
I like greasy food.

But don't expect a tip.

'Cause I don't have anything
smaller than a single.

Yeah, we got...

chicken and meat calzones.

[grunting]

We got chicken and meat
veggies.

We got...Oh.

...chicken and meat
chicken.

One chicken wing.

One chicken wing?

Yeah, sorry, man.

I got hungry
on the way here.

It's all
complimentary, huh?

Yes, sir,
complimentary.

You handsome devil.

You get it?
'Cause it's complimentary.

Yeah.

[chuckling]

So, if you...Huh?

Dude, if you wanna
leave me a review,

it's Kenny with a "K."

"DeWitt."

[car alarm blaring][gasps]

Don't, don't, don't,
don't...

Don't eat that.

[car alarms blaring]

♪♪

Seriously?What? What is it?

[car alarms continue]

Seriously, we got-- we got
a crazy kitchen, you know?

Like that one right there.

We got this busboy
named Sticky.

Never washes his hands.

[desk bell rings]

[ringing]That's it.

I don't care what two-bit
restaurant you're from.

I want you out of here now!

[ringing continues]Now get lost!

All right, okay.

Beat it. Give me that.
That's mine.

I want!

I never wanna see
your face again.

You got it, dude?

Come on.
Let's go.

I got a bell.
Okay.
[bell ringing]

[mouthful]

What the...?

[mouthful]
That stupid...

[both panting]

Please tell me
you got something.

First off, buster,
do not ever

put me up to something
like that ever again.

Xander DeWitt.

You're a real night owl,
aren't you, bud?

Jack Finn.

Uh, honestly,

this town is even creepier
after dark.

Back when I was your age,

this town was
absolutely beautiful.

Like a storybook.

Yeah, well, I think
that storybook's

missing a few pages.

Who's your friend?

Oh, hi, Mr. Finn.
I'm Kenzie.

Kenzie Messina.

You're the high school girl
who's been bugging my assistant

to try and get
an interview with me.

How about I give
you guys a lift?

Uh, it's--
We were-- we were just...

[officer on radio]
Chicken and Meat.

Long blond hair.
Burger hat.

Stole a bell.

Yeah, we'll-
we'll take that lift.

[Xander]
Jack Finn had saved my butt

from the sheriff again.

Kenzie had picked up
a new lead.

And I finally had
my own little dingy bell.

[bell dings]

Blank, blank.

Every page blank.

All this work for nothing.

Hey.

We found his car.

That is not nothing.

There's gotta be a way to...

to retrace his steps.

Genius.

Me?

No. Me.

Check this out.

I can trace over the paper

if I rub this pencil
over it

and see what my dad wrote.

"140 Elk Avenue,
Bixler Valley,

June 25th, 1:00 p.m.
Regarding C.R.A.T.E.R."

Wait, regarding C.R.A.T.--
What's C.R.A.T.E.R.?

The past three months,

I've turned his life
upside down, inside out.

I checked every project,
every contact.

But I've never heard
of C.R.A.T.E.R.

[horn honks outside]

Hey, kiddo.
Your ride's here.

Okay, thanks,
Mr. DeWitt.

You two need a minute?

You gonna kiss
goodbye or...

What? Ew, no,
what are you...

Certainly not. No!What are you talking about?

I don't know, they way
you two were eyeballing
each other...

We weren't.
It's not like that.

No, not even.She's my partner.

Actually, he's mine.Well...

Mine.

Uh...Mm...

So we'll, uh...

We'll pick up
tomorrow.

Sure thing.Tomorrow.

Tomorrow.

Mm-hmm. Okay.Cool.

Bye, Kenzie.Bye.

I'm just saying,

I've seen the way
she looks at you.

I may be old,
but I'm not blind.

[chuckling]

Hey, uh...

Does the word "C.R.A.T.E.R."
mean anything to you?

Why?

'Cause we found his car.

What?

We found this.

[sighs]

I used pencil
to etch out the message.

You taught me that.

And look, look.

Address, date,

and the word "C.R.A.T.E.R."

Holy mackerel.

This is good,
solid detective work, pal.

But you know what
I'm gonna say,

we gotta turn this
over to the pros.

The pros?

You're the pro.

No, not anymore.

Man, I idolized you.

Charlie DeWitt.

Detective.

I need your help.

Xan, ten years ago,

I'm on a routine surveillance
and I fell off that roof.

I woke up
with a titanium leg.

Your grandma, rest her soul,
made me promise to quit.

Now I want to find your dad
more than anything,

but the one thing
I'm not gonna do

is break a promise
to your grandma.

Grandpa...

you know I can't drop this.

Okay, just promise me
something.

No, no, no, no.
No getting arrested.

No getting hurt.

And if anything goes wrong,
I'll send an S.O.S.

I want you to give me
a hand with something.

It's a stretch.
Could be nothing.

This is your dad's stuff
from high school.

Wow.

If I recall, he was
making this video

for a science project.

C.R.A.T.E.R.

[man on TV]
Rusty, we're rolling.

Russell DeWitt,
Bixler Valley High.

And this is my senior year
science project.

That's Dad.

I'd like to talk to you
about earthquakes,

the greatest destructive force in the natural world.

And I ask,
what if we had the power

to control an earthquake?

Imagine, changing
and shifting the ground

simply through the power
of technology.

That is C.R.A.T.E.R.

Computerized Remote-Activated
Targeted Earth Rupture.

For years, my father's been
feuding with our neighbors

over their property line.

This has been happening
since the '80s?

The '80s wasn't so long ago.

Watch as I create
a narrow chasm between them

dividing their yards,
ending their turf war forever.

[computer chirping]

Right now, C.R.A.T.E.R.
is sending precise

electromagnetic pulses
through the earth's crust.

[dog barking]

[man]
Uh, Rusty, you sure
this is gonna work?

Whose voice is that?

Must be one
of his dopey friends

he got to work the camera.

Just keep rolling.

Oh, no.

Uh, dude, it's turning.

Oh, no, turning.

It's turning the wrong way.

Uh, hey, look, Russ, I don't
think this is the-- Oh, man.

That's what happened
to my bird bath.

[metal groaning]

Look, this doesn't seem right-- No! No, no...

And that's what made
the water tower go down.

Um...

Oh...

Let's cut there.

What does some old
science project

have to do with
his disappearance?

Hard to say, but I think
I know what brought down

the library and the diner.Let me guess.

Computerized Remote-Activated
Targeted Earth Rupture?

Exactly.

That's exactly it.

Kenzie, I think somebody's
trying to bring

C.R.A.T.E.R. back online.

I see, well, I'll go
call the commissioner

to find out
which supervillains

are on the loose.

Kenzie, don't act
like I'm crazy!

All right, don't you
see what's coming?

Ah! Ugh!

What the...?

[indistinct shouting]

All right! Okay!

Yeah, take that.

Maybe now I'll get
some service around here.

Cara Jean, you can blast
my partner all you want,

but that is not gonna
bring your dog home.

Why would you say that?

Ah, okay, all right!

Okay, all right.

[whispers]
Sorry.

Thank you.

Skyler McMuffin has been missing
for four whole days.

He could be in danger.

Do you know what it feels like
to lose your best friend?

Okay.

All right, let's start
at the beginning.

You tried the pound?Of course,
I've tried the pound.

Idiot.

Mmm...

'Kay, I'm just gonna
overlook that.

Uh, has he ever
run away before?

Uh, twice in the summer,

but both times
he came home the next day.

I have an idea.

When did Skyler
go missing?

Do you remember the dates?

Um...July 9th, August 18th?

I think that's
about right.

How did you know that?What are you getting at?

July 9th was the day
the library collapsed.

August 18th was the diner.

Here.

Notice anything?

Bixler's got
some ugly dogs?

No.
Well, actually yeah.

But that's not
what I'm saying.

My point is, you know
how some people believe

that-- that dogs can
sense an earthquake
before it happens?

But we haven't had
any earthquakes.

Unless they were small.

Isolated earthquakes
too small for humans to feel,

precise enough to destroy
a single target.

Maybe Skyler McMuffin knows
knows something we don't.

Maybe the big one's
still on the way.

I just want my dog back.

And excuse my language,
but this sounds like

a load of baloney.

I'm a journalist.
I stick to facts.

You're talking sci-fi.

[scoffs]

You both think
I'm crazy.

I mean, Skyler McMuffin
licks his own butt.

I don't think
he's smart enough

to predict the weather.

I'm not talking
about the weather.

Okay, you know what,
you guys...

You guys just don't get it.
I'm just gonna...

I'll solve this whole thing
on my own.

Wait, Xan.

Don't be like that.

[door opens]

[door closes]

[Xander]
Maybe I was going crazy.

Three months of this
will do that to a guy.

Rusty, you sure this
is gonna work?

Just keep rolling.

♪♪

♪ So don't call me crazy ♪

♪ Don't call me crazy ♪

♪ Don't call me crazy ♪

♪ Don't call me crazy ♪

♪ Don't call me crazy ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh ♪

♪ Don't call me crazy... ♪

[man on TV]
Rusty, we're rolling.

♪♪

[phone chimes]

[Xander]
Just when I was losing hope,

I got a message.

Now I knew I wasn't
going crazy.

I was close.

[suspenseful music]

♪♪

♪♪

[thud]

[both screaming]Shh...

Xander, what are you
doing here?

Sorry. I didn't mean
to scare you.

Don't sneak up on me
while I'm sleeping.

You creeper.Kenzie, look.

"Xander, C.R.A.T.E.R. is real.
You're in danger.

Clock tower at 2:00 a.m.
Come alone. Trust no one."

That's from my dad.

For the past three months,
his phone's been off.

Straight to voicemail.

And then out of the blue,
I just get this.

Call him back.

Oh, that's a good idea.
Maybe I should--

I tried, Kenzie!

Same thing,
straight to voicemail.

We gotta go.Clock tower, 2:00 a.m.

Yeah.That's 20 minutes from now.

Yeah, I know.
Come on, get dressed.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.
It says, "Come alone.

Trust no one."

Are you sure you want
my help on this?

That's exactly
what I've been doing.

Working alone,
trusting no one.

That's until I met you.

Plus, you know,
you're my partner

so I'm kind of in charge.

You just had to go
and ruin it.

[distant wolves howling]

♪♪

I don't know about this.

What if it's
some kind of trap?

[sighs]
I'll go up alone.

If there's any trouble,
you go for help.

[door creaking]

Dad?

Kenzie, what are you
doing up here?

Stick to the plan.I think we need a new plan.

Xander...

I told you to come alone.

But you had to go
and invite your little...

partner here.

I'm not the partner,
he's the...

Oh, forget it.

Jack Finn?

Where's my dad?

Rusty has been
working for me...

and he is finally
completing his masterpiece.

"Rusty"?
That's your voice
on the old video.

You're making him build
the C.R.A.T.E.R. device.

You see,
I have a vision.

And I'm going to make
this town great again.

With an earthquake?

Yes, with an earthquake!

The old library,
it sat there for years

slowly falling apart.

That's because
I'm the only one

who reads books anymore.

Until a small localized
earthquake brought it down.

And the diner?

That's just
an unfortunate target

after I found a Band-Aid
in my chopped salad.

But my company is now
getting paid

to rebuild them both.

Yeah, you're saying
you're trying

to make
this town great again,

but it sounds like you're just
trying to make yourself rich.

Can't I do both at once?

I see you reaching
for your phone.

Don't bother.
No service up here.

You two know the most
dangerous place to be
during an earthquake?

Anywhere too high
off the ground.

So tomorrow
at 9:00 a.m.,

when the big one hits,

this old clock tower...

[chuckling]

Where's my dad?

Still playing detective
till the very end.

Never stop digging, kid.

[door creaks, closes]No.

[pounding on door]Help!

[Kenzie]
Hey, let us out.

[Xander]
Let us out of here!

Hey!Hey!

[muffled shouting continues]

Jack Finn.

I knew all along!

Oh, you did not.
You had no idea.

You even let him
drive us home.

Well, it's always
the person

that you least suspect.

So I was right
in that way.

You know what?
Forget it, okay?

That ladder goes
nowhere, genius.

Hey, somebody
please help!

Hey, hey, hey.Please! What?

I'm trying not to wake up
the bats.

[bats squealing]

[gasps]

Whatever you do,
do it quiet.

[lowers voice]
Please! Help us!

We need your help.
Please.

[door closes]

[distant dog barking]

Scooter's gone.
Oh, Xan.

Teenagers,
nothing but trouble.

Just like his old man.

Thought we had a deal, kid.

No phones.
No way out.

Giant earthquake
coming.

Ugh, this is really
distressing.

Genius.

You're still not talking
about me, are you?

We're in distress.Mm-hmm?

Right? So we gotta
send a distress call.

Okay, but again no phones,
so how are we gonna do that?

There.

That's how
we're gonna do it.

We're gonna move
the clock hands.

Oh, this thing hasn't
worked in forever.

It's just stuck
at 6:00.

[groans]

If I free up the gears,

you can grab
this chain

and pull it backwards.

Backwards?
Wouldn't it be easier
to pull it forward?

Eh, it'll take
too much time.

We need to stop it
right at 5:05.

Why 5:05?

'Cause we're sending
an S.O.S.

Come on, grab this chain.

All right, ready?Yeah.

Okay.
[grunting]

Pull.

Xander!

Xander!Whoa, whoa, whoa...

The bats!All right, all right.

Coming down.
Coming down.

Okay.All right.

Okay, all right.

Okay.[sighs]

You okay?

Yeah.

I think it's better
if we do this together.

Okay.

[gears grinding]

Is it turning?Yeah, yeah, yeah, come on.

[dog barking]Princess!

What's gotten into you?
Princess?

Excuse me, old man.

I'm looking for that
bozo scooter jockey

who lives here.

Get in line. So am I.

He didn't come home
last night.

Well, that makes
both of them.

I think him
and that Kenzie Messina

just up and skipped town
with my couch money.

Something ain't right.

[gears grinding]

[both grunt]

[Xander]
That's it.
[Kenzie]
We did it.

I've lived here 77 years

and that clock
has never moved once.

Kid, you got something
to write with?

I don't know how
to use one of those.

Just write down
this time-- 5:05.

Wait a second.

Give me that.

S.O.S.

What's that mean?

You, know how to drive?I'm ten.

You play any of those
race car video games?

No.Both your feet work?

Yes.Here, take this
and follow me.

What?

Just the last thing
Jack said.

Something about digging,
something like...

[recorder turns on]

[Jack on recording]
Never stop digging, kid.

You recorded him?

Well, he didn't say,
"off the record."

Play it again
from the beginning.

[Charlie]
You're all over the road.

[Cara Jean]
Well, it's a very big vehicle.

[horn honking]Cut that out.

[tires screeching, horn honks]

You need some music.

♪ We're coming for ya ♪

Keep your eyes
on the road!

♪ Coming for you,
we're coming for ya ♪

That was a stop sign!
Hit the brakes!

[horn blaring]Which one's the brakes?

Whoa![tires squealing]

[whining]

This is fun.
I like driving.

Slow down, leadfoot!

This is not safe.

Hit the brake!Where's the brake again?

Left-- Your other left!
Whoa!

[engine sputters off]

Oops.

[Xander]
If you've ever spent the night
in a giant clock before,

you know
it's not exactly restful.

My partner and I have tra--Are you narrating?

Sorry.

[thud on door]

Whatever it is you kids
are doing up here,

you're still
doing it wrong.

Come on, let's go.

Took you
long enough, Grandpa.

S.O.S.
Pretty clever, kid.

The universal
distress signal.[chuckling]

Okay, excuse my language,

but where the hickory
dickory doc is my dog?

[low rumbling]

The earthquake is starting!
We need to get out of here!

Grandpa, I don't
have time to explain,

but Jack Finn is behind all this
and he has Dad.

Jack Finn, I knew it!

Marie, if you're up there,
just watch my back.

Guys, there's still time
to stop C.R.A.T.E.R.

if I find my dad,
but if we fail,

you gotta warn
the whole town.

Don't worry.
I trust you.

[scooter humming]

I'm driving.

[door opens]

You wanna tell me
where we're going?

It's just a hunch,
but if I'm right,

we'll crack this
whole thing wide open.

Hang on.

[low rumbling]

Come on.

The last thing
Jack Finn said to me

was, "Keep digging."

He also said that
the most dangerous place

to be in an earthquake
is up high.

By that logic...
I think he's controlling

everything from
somewhere very low.

I don't know, kid.

This mine has been
abandoned for years.

Look.
Footprints.

[Kenzie]
Bixler Valley,
this is not a drill.

I repeat, this is
not a drill.

You need to evacuate.

The big one is coming!

Hey! Slow down!

Don't tell me
how to drive!

Look out!

You first.

Save your battery.

Feels good being
back on the job.

[Charlie]
Unh!

[door squealing]

Dad!Xander!

Dad!
[Charlie]
Russell!

[laughter]

I knew you'd find me.

Come on, we're gonna
get you out of here.

[computer voice]
Security breach.The door! Stop the door!

A little help!Yeah, yeah, yeah,
I'm on it.

Just push it open.
I already lost
this leg once.

[Jake laughing]

Now, this is precious.

All three generations
together again.

Oh, look,
it's the dopey friend!

I notice you still got my son
doing your homework for you.

Don't!
Or do...

and I'll bring down
the entire town right now.

Why don't you get over there
next to your dad?

Xander, we are standing

at the forefront
of history.

In a few years,
when everything out there

is big and beautiful
and new again,

people will say
that this earthquake

was the best thing
that ever happened
to Bixler Valley.

And, Charlie, don't
you want to spend
your retirement years

in a town with a future?

[computer voice]
C.R.A.T.E.R. activated.

Charlie? Unh!

My retirement's over, pal.

Now, that felt
really good.

[countdown beeping]

[Russell]
Okay, four minutes.
We can do this.

Give me the tablet.
Time to stop this madness.

And save the town.

[tablet beeping]

Dad, the tablet is locked,

and you just knocked out
the only guy who had the code.

Well, next time,
tell me that.

I can't think
of everything.

All right, we need to crack
the code and kill the power.

I got this.
I can do this.

If there's prints,
I can get us in.

Oh, no, no, no.
My phone's dead.

[low rumbling]

[people shouting]

[Kenzie]
Seriously, people,
move your butts!

Get off the street!
Get to safety!

The big one is coming.
This is only the beginning.

[people shouting]

[woman]
Take cover!

Get out now
before it's too late!

Run for your lives!

And if you see
a little pink dog,

his name is
Skyler Mc--
Not now!

Ewww!

Slow down, Cara Jean!

I'm trying to outrun
an earthquake here,

and you're telling me
to slow down?!

Where did you learn how to drive?!

Don't panic.
We'll do this old-school.

Dad.

Okay, these four prints
are the most prominent.

Four digits
in varying order means...

[all]
24 possible variations.

Let's hope none of those
digits are repeats,
or else we're--

Just start
trying them, okay?

That clock is not
slowing down.

[computer voice]
C.R.A.T.E.R. in 30 seconds.

[countdown buzzing]

3-4-2-1.

4-2-1-3. C.R.A.T.E.R. in ten... nine...

eight... seven...Genius.

Who?
Me?
No, me.

...six... five...

four... three...

two...Boom.

C.R.A.T.E.R. is deactivated.

[powering down]

1-2-3-4, you couldn't
try that one first?

[chuckling]

[Kenzie]
Wait, stop.
Listen.

[rumbling stops]

Xander did it.

He stopped
the earthquake.

I'll allow the joke
one time, kid.

Looks like we got the leg up
on old Jack Finn.

[laughing]

Thank you, buddy.Sure, Dad.

Give him a hand,
would you?

I'll be out by noon.
This is ridiculous.

Whoa!
Where you going?

[sobbing]
It wasn't supposed
to end like this!

Are you crying?No!

You are!
Watch your head.

Holy cow.
Unreal.

[chuckling]
Wow!

He fooled
you two guys, right?

I'm here with two
brave young women

who lead dozens
of civilians to safety.

Girls, can you tell us
a little about what
you saw today?

Happy to, Diane.

Margaret MacKenzie
Messina here,

and this is
"The Kenzie File."

With a rumble and a roar,
the ground shook
beneath our feet

here in Bixler Valley--

I'm a 10-year-old girl
looking for her dog.

His name is Skyler McMuffin.[man]
Cut the camera!

He's got blonde hair,
and there's no time to waste.I said to cut!

Run to the streets.
Search every--Go to break!

♪♪

♪♪

[Xander]
Welcome home, Dad.

Okay, let's get
the three DeWitt
generations together.

[Charlie]
Here we go.Yeah.

This mean you're
gonna be coming
around more often?

Yeah, Dad.

And not just
for the holidays.

Great.Right?

Smile, guys!

[camera shutter clicks]

I think I might
finish up

the school year
here in Bixler.

[Russell]
Really?[Charlie]
Just like your old man!

[Russell]
I like that idea.

[both chuckling]

What's the matter?

I thought you'd be excited
that the motorhome was gone.

I don't know,
I kind of miss

having a target
for my peach pit.

[laughing]

That's some
pretty impressive
detective work, kid.

Thank you, man.
Come here.

We're just gonna
hug it out?

All right,
we're doing this?

Okay.
[chuckling]

Thank you, Grandpa.Thanks, kid.

[chuckles]
Xander!

Oh, sorry.

Look who it is.

Cara Jean Sprule
of the fifth grade.

And Skyler McMuffin.

Where'd you find him?Get this.

He was under my bed
the whole time.

[laughing]Hmm!

I--
This is why
I don't do lost pets.

He's not a pet.
He's my best friend.

Aren't you, Skyler?
I love you!

[both chuckling]

I, uh, I gotta admit.

We make
a pretty good team.

Yep, and I got
the biggest story
of my life.

And I got
my father back.

Partners?
Partners.

You two finally
gonna kiss or what?

What? No, Gramp, no, no!We work together!

Okay, just let me know
if you're gonna kiss

and I'll get lost.Uh...

Wha--
Ahem!

♪♪

[Xander]
So, Kenzie and I got
right to work

on our next big case.

And, yeah, that's a wrap.

So, thanks for watching.

Okay, I know
what you're waiting for,

but partners don't kiss.

All right,
that's not gonna happen.

There's nothing to see here.
It's the end.

All right, the end.

Did I mention
it's the end?

Can, uh, can a guy
get some privacy here?

Okay, just cut to black!

♪♪

♪ Tick tock,
this clock is off ♪

♪ You say it's too late,
but I swear it's not ♪

♪ Realities
or are they dreams untrue ♪

♪ I'm walking on walls ♪

♪ Either up or it's down,
I'm about to fall ♪

♪ So tell me, please,
are these dreams with you? ♪

♪ Everybody says
that it's meant to be ♪

♪ But I don't think I'm looking
at the things you see ♪

♪ It's up, it's down,
we're lost, we're found ♪

♪ Can't get it all
in my head ♪

♪ You keep calling me
your dream come true ♪

♪ Then you don't call again
for a week or two ♪

♪ You're here, you're gone,
you're mine, you're not ♪

♪ You're playing
with my head ♪

♪ So don't call me crazy ♪

♪ Don't call me crazy ♪

♪ Oh, don't call me crazy ♪

♪ Don't call me crazy ♪

♪ Don't call me crazy ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Don't call me crazy ♪

♪♪

♪ Crazy,
don't call me crazy ♪

♪ Crazy, don't call me crazy ♪

♪♪

♪ Crazy, don't call me crazy ♪

♪ Crazy,
don't call me crazy ♪

♪ Crazy ♪

♪ Tick tock,
this time it's done ♪

♪ It's time to do
what you want ♪

♪ Reality is not a dream ♪

♪ This time, nah ♪

♪ So I'm tearing down
the walls ♪

♪ Can't keep 'em up,
so they gotta fall ♪

♪ Gotta leave
all these dreams to die ♪

♪ So don't call me crazy ♪

♪ Don't call me crazy ♪

♪ Oh, don't call me crazy ♪

♪ Don't call me crazy ♪

♪ Don't call me crazy ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Don't call me crazy ♪

♪ Crazy, don't call me crazy ♪

♪ Crazy,
don't call me crazy ♪

♪♪

♪ Crazy, don't call me crazy ♪

♪ Crazy,
don't call me crazy ♪

♪ Crazy ♪

♪ Tick tock,
this time it's done ♪

♪ It's time to do
what you want ♪

♪ Reality is not a dream ♪

♪ This time, nah ♪

♪ So I'm tearing down
the walls ♪

♪ Can't keep 'em up,
so they gotta fall ♪

♪ Gotta leave
all these dreams to die ♪

♪ Everybody said
it was meant to be ♪

♪ But I don't think they're
looking at the things I see ♪

♪ It's up, it's down,
we're lost, we're found ♪

♪ Can't get it all
in my head ♪

♪ Stop calling me
your dream come true ♪

♪ 'Cause I've heard enough
for a life or two ♪

♪ You're here, you're gone,
you're mine, you're not ♪

♪ You stay inside my head ♪

♪ So don't call me crazy ♪

♪ Don't call me crazy ♪

♪ Don't call me crazy ♪

♪ And don't call me crazy ♪

♪ Don't call me crazy ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh ♪

♪ Don't call me crazy ♪

♪ Don't call me ♪

♪ No, don't call me crazy ♪

♪ Crazy, don't call me crazy ♪

♪ Crazy,
don't call me crazy ♪

♪♪

♪ Crazy, don't call me crazy ♪

♪ Crazy,
don't call me crazy ♪

♪ Crazy ♪

♪ Tick tock,
this clock is off ♪

♪ You say it's too late,
but I swear it's not ♪

♪ Realities
or are they dreams untrue ♪

♪ I'm walking on the walls ♪

♪ Either up or it's down,
I'm about to fall ♪

♪ So tell me please,
are these dreams with you? ♪♪