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Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba
2
00:00:02,960 --> 00:00:05,960
Ba-ba-ba-ba
3
00:00:05,960 --> 00:00:09,320
When the world
in which you're living
4
00:00:09,320 --> 00:00:12,160
Gets a bit too much to bear
5
00:00:12,160 --> 00:00:15,160
And you need someone to lean on
6
00:00:15,160 --> 00:00:17,960
When you look,
there's no-one there
7
00:00:17,960 --> 00:00:20,960
You're gonna find me
8
00:00:20,960 --> 00:00:22,960
Out in the country
9
00:00:23,960 --> 00:00:26,960
You're gonna find me
10
00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:29,480
Way out in the country.
11
00:00:29,480 --> 00:00:30,660
SHEEP BLEATING
12
00:00:30,679 --> 00:00:32,679
With the agreement of the committee,
13
00:00:32,679 --> 00:00:37,379
I can now confirm the arrangements
for the Lantern Man Festival.
14
00:00:37,444 --> 00:00:38,444
The parade will take place...
15
00:00:38,444 --> 00:00:40,444
I still don't get it.
Who is this Lantern Man?
16
00:00:40,444 --> 00:00:43,444
It's a Garthdale tradition.
Apparently it goes back centuries.
17
00:00:43,444 --> 00:00:46,444
So what happens? Well, they make
some sort of strong man
18
00:00:46,444 --> 00:00:48,444
and they parade him
through the village.
19
00:00:48,444 --> 00:00:49,444
And the locals dress up
20
00:00:49,444 --> 00:00:52,444
and they paint their faces
all yellow and brown.
21
00:00:52,444 --> 00:00:55,444
To match their teeth? It involves
quite a lot of alcohol, too.
22
00:00:55,444 --> 00:01:00,444
..as well as a van selling hot dogs,
baked potatoes and cigarettes.
23
00:01:00,444 --> 00:01:03,284
And now, it is my duty
24
00:01:03,284 --> 00:01:06,444
to call upon last year's
Keeper of the Lantern Man
25
00:01:06,444 --> 00:01:09,444
to appoint his chosen successor.
26
00:01:09,702 --> 00:01:11,702
Thank you, Barbara.
27
00:01:11,702 --> 00:01:14,222
Firstly, may I say
what a great honour...
28
00:01:14,222 --> 00:01:15,702
Shall we just go?
We can't.
29
00:01:15,702 --> 00:01:17,702
Why not?
Shh.
30
00:01:17,702 --> 00:01:20,222
I trust I lived up
to your expectations.
31
00:01:25,742 --> 00:01:30,062
But now the time has come
to appoint my successor.
32
00:01:30,062 --> 00:01:33,702
Arthur, you have been waiting
for this role for many years
33
00:01:33,702 --> 00:01:35,702
and I know how much
it would mean to you.
34
00:01:35,702 --> 00:01:39,902
However, I have decided that this
year's Keeper of the Lantern Man
35
00:01:39,902 --> 00:01:42,062
will be Steve Rawlings.
36
00:01:45,222 --> 00:01:46,702
What?
37
00:01:50,702 --> 00:01:53,702
And then I thought, no,
what about Steve?
38
00:01:53,702 --> 00:01:55,702
It might just be the making of him.
39
00:01:55,702 --> 00:01:57,702
Thanks.
So...
40
00:01:57,702 --> 00:01:59,702
here you are.
41
00:01:59,702 --> 00:02:01,702
That's you officially anointed.
42
00:02:02,702 --> 00:02:05,702
It's an important job.
Make sure you don't mess it up.
43
00:02:07,702 --> 00:02:09,702
She's nice, isn't she?
44
00:02:09,702 --> 00:02:10,702
Oh, she's lovely.
45
00:02:10,702 --> 00:02:12,702
Now, let me give you a few tips.
46
00:02:13,875 --> 00:02:16,155
What do you reckon, Alice?
Do you think my Steve
47
00:02:16,155 --> 00:02:17,875
will make a good Keeper
of the Lantern Man?
48
00:02:17,876 --> 00:02:19,576
I don't know, love.
49
00:02:19,671 --> 00:02:22,711
To be honest, I only came
for the tea and biscuits.
50
00:02:22,711 --> 00:02:25,671
Don't worry.
Your secret's safe with me.
51
00:02:29,671 --> 00:02:32,671
Oh, right, so it's just
a parade, then? No.
52
00:02:32,671 --> 00:02:34,671
Tell Steve the other thing
he has to do.
53
00:02:34,671 --> 00:02:36,671
You have to stay in the scary hut.
54
00:02:36,671 --> 00:02:38,671
With the Lantern Man.
For the whole night.
55
00:02:38,671 --> 00:02:40,671
What's this?
That's the vigil.
56
00:02:40,671 --> 00:02:42,371
You have to guard the Lantern Man.
57
00:02:42,375 --> 00:02:43,895
Before you parade him
through the town.
58
00:02:43,895 --> 00:02:46,375
You spend the night in the old
shepherd's hut by the woods.
59
00:02:46,375 --> 00:02:48,375
What, with a scarecrow?
Er, yeah.
60
00:02:48,375 --> 00:02:50,375
One thing, Steve, pretty important.
61
00:02:50,375 --> 00:02:52,875
It's not a scarecrow,
it's the Lantern Man.
62
00:02:54,084 --> 00:02:56,344
All right, Dad?
Wouldn't have been my choice.
63
00:02:56,443 --> 00:02:57,943
Wouldn't have been Steve's choice,
either.
64
00:02:57,982 --> 00:03:00,022
Ah, well, not how it was done
back in the day.
65
00:03:00,040 --> 00:03:02,900
How did it used to be done, then?
Bare knuckle fights on the green.
66
00:03:02,918 --> 00:03:05,958
Last man standing was made
Keeper of the Lantern Man.
67
00:03:05,958 --> 00:03:08,918
But the authorities put a stop
to all that.When was this?
68
00:03:08,918 --> 00:03:10,418
2004.
69
00:03:11,460 --> 00:03:12,460
Are there no biscuits left?
70
00:03:17,898 --> 00:03:19,898
You should be wearing that.
71
00:03:19,898 --> 00:03:22,398
You have been chosen.
By Matt.
72
00:03:22,419 --> 00:03:24,819
The making of me.
What the hell did he mean by that?
73
00:03:24,880 --> 00:03:27,550
To spend the night in a hut, he's
not sending me to boarding school.
74
00:03:27,560 --> 00:03:30,460
It's a great honour, Steve.
You've been put in charge
75
00:03:30,460 --> 00:03:32,020
of a pair of pyjamas
stuffed with hay.
76
00:03:32,123 --> 00:03:33,763
Why do they need someone
to guard it, anyway?
77
00:03:33,763 --> 00:03:35,443
They burn it the next day.
78
00:03:35,443 --> 00:03:36,763
BANG
CRACKLING
79
00:03:36,763 --> 00:03:38,123
What the hell was that?
80
00:03:40,763 --> 00:03:42,763
Oh!
LAUGHS
81
00:03:42,763 --> 00:03:44,563
Oh, hi, Steve.
82
00:03:44,567 --> 00:03:45,567
All right, Nicky?
Hi, Grizzo.
83
00:03:45,567 --> 00:03:47,167
I tell you what,
84
00:03:47,247 --> 00:03:49,247
in the wrong hands,
these things could be lethal.
85
00:03:49,247 --> 00:03:51,247
Yeah, I can see that.
86
00:03:51,247 --> 00:03:53,607
Any particular reason
for letting off fireworks?
87
00:03:53,607 --> 00:03:55,247
Er...
88
00:03:55,247 --> 00:03:56,247
Oh, yeah, I'm testing them out.
89
00:03:56,247 --> 00:03:58,247
And you didn't want to do it
at your place?
90
00:03:58,247 --> 00:03:59,247
No, it might scare the peacocks.
91
00:03:59,247 --> 00:04:01,447
Ooh.
92
00:04:01,447 --> 00:04:03,247
Very thoughtful.
Yeah.
93
00:04:03,247 --> 00:04:04,247
No, what it is...
94
00:04:04,247 --> 00:04:06,607
I'm doing the fireworks
for this Lantern Man thing.
95
00:04:06,607 --> 00:04:09,247
You're doing the fireworks?
GRUNTS
96
00:04:10,763 --> 00:04:12,763
Well, not me. I'm paying for them.
97
00:04:12,763 --> 00:04:14,763
But I've got this pyrotechnics guy
to do it all.
98
00:04:14,763 --> 00:04:17,763
Ex-special forces.
Did my Hyde Park gig.
99
00:04:17,763 --> 00:04:19,763
And that other one.
100
00:04:19,763 --> 00:04:22,763
What's it? The one with all the
nurses and the beds and...
101
00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:25,763
Are you talking about the
opening ceremony of the Olympics?
102
00:04:25,763 --> 00:04:26,763
Yeah, that's the one.
103
00:04:26,763 --> 00:04:30,763
Anyway, the fireworks arrived
earlier, two lorry loads of them.
104
00:04:30,763 --> 00:04:32,763
So I thought, might as well
have a little play.
105
00:04:32,763 --> 00:04:34,963
Oh, you...
GRUNTS
106
00:04:34,963 --> 00:04:37,763
Well, they seem to be working
all right, so...
107
00:04:40,392 --> 00:04:41,752
Oh, right.
108
00:04:41,752 --> 00:04:44,392
Ha. You two probably want to
get some sleep, don't you?
109
00:04:44,392 --> 00:04:46,392
Ideally.
Please, yeah.
110
00:04:46,392 --> 00:04:48,392
Yeah, no, fair enough.
I'll knock it on the head.
111
00:04:48,392 --> 00:04:50,392
Thanks, Grizzo.
112
00:04:54,072 --> 00:04:55,392
FIREWORKS BANG
113
00:04:55,392 --> 00:04:57,692
CHUCKLES
Sorry.
114
00:04:57,759 --> 00:04:58,959
Last one.
115
00:05:03,533 --> 00:05:05,533
Have you got enough clean pants
for your vigil?
116
00:05:05,533 --> 00:05:07,373
I'm not scared.
117
00:05:07,373 --> 00:05:08,733
Anyway, I might not even stay there.
118
00:05:08,733 --> 00:05:11,533
I'll wait till everyone's gone,
then nip home for the night.
119
00:05:11,533 --> 00:05:13,533
Go back in the morning.
That'd be cheating.
120
00:05:13,533 --> 00:05:16,533
Why should I spend the whole night
in a hut in the woods?
121
00:05:16,533 --> 00:05:19,373
It would be like the worst ever
episode of Springwatch.
122
00:05:19,373 --> 00:05:21,533
The whole village
are relying on you.
123
00:05:21,533 --> 00:05:23,533
You can't let the Lantern Man
escape.
124
00:05:23,533 --> 00:05:24,533
How could he escape?
He's a stuffed dummy,
125
00:05:24,533 --> 00:05:25,733
he's not Steve McQueen.
126
00:05:25,733 --> 00:05:26,893
CAR ENGINE
127
00:05:26,893 --> 00:05:28,533
Who's this?
128
00:05:28,533 --> 00:05:30,533
It's a minicab.
129
00:05:30,533 --> 00:05:31,533
God, he must be lost.
130
00:05:32,573 --> 00:05:34,533
It's Zoe.
131
00:05:39,416 --> 00:05:40,736
Sorry, Mum.
132
00:05:40,736 --> 00:05:42,736
I didn't know what else to do.
133
00:05:42,736 --> 00:05:44,736
What's happened, sweetheart?
Where's Danny?
134
00:05:44,736 --> 00:05:46,416
We split up.
135
00:05:46,416 --> 00:05:48,776
Oh, no. I am sorry.
136
00:05:48,776 --> 00:05:50,736
Come and have a cup of tea.
137
00:05:51,956 --> 00:05:52,956
Excuse me.
138
00:05:54,316 --> 00:05:55,956
Oh. Sorry, I...
139
00:05:57,385 --> 00:05:59,385
Steve, could you?
Yeah, all right.
140
00:06:04,385 --> 00:06:07,385
Then Danny said, "If you wanted
a Chinese, you should have said."
141
00:06:07,385 --> 00:06:09,385
I said, "But that is what I said,
you just weren't listening."
142
00:06:09,385 --> 00:06:13,385
And that is what's so annoying, he
never listens. Then he stormed out.
143
00:06:13,385 --> 00:06:15,065
By that time,
I'd made myself a sandwich.
144
00:06:15,065 --> 00:06:16,385
How was I to know
he'd gone and got a Chinese?
145
00:06:16,385 --> 00:06:19,385
Oh, no. So I said,
"I'll have it for breakfast."
146
00:06:19,385 --> 00:06:21,385
He said, "You can't have Chinese
for breakfast."
147
00:06:21,385 --> 00:06:23,385
Since when?!
Who made you God of breakfast?
148
00:06:23,385 --> 00:06:26,385
You didn't split up over a takeaway,
though?No. It's everything.
149
00:06:26,385 --> 00:06:28,225
We argue all the time.
150
00:06:28,225 --> 00:06:29,385
And I said to him,
"Danny, you do realise
151
00:06:29,385 --> 00:06:32,385
"we row about literally everything."
Then we had a row about that.
152
00:06:32,385 --> 00:06:34,425
The thing is, Zoe,
sometimes when people are...
153
00:06:34,425 --> 00:06:36,385
PHONE BEEPS
Oh, God.
154
00:06:36,385 --> 00:06:38,385
GASPS
Oh, it's Becky.
155
00:06:38,385 --> 00:06:39,425
She's dyed her hair. Look.
156
00:06:39,425 --> 00:06:42,065
She's got an interview on Monday.
157
00:06:42,065 --> 00:06:46,385
Anyway, I just can't go back there.
I need my own space.
158
00:06:46,385 --> 00:06:48,385
Would it be all right if I stayed?
Of course you can.
159
00:06:48,385 --> 00:06:50,065
Course.
Oh, thank you.
160
00:06:51,534 --> 00:06:53,054
You stay as long as you want.
161
00:06:53,054 --> 00:06:55,374
Or longer, like we have.
162
00:06:58,854 --> 00:07:00,854
I've never liked that Danny.
163
00:07:00,854 --> 00:07:02,854
If you ask me,
he didn't deserve you.
164
00:07:02,854 --> 00:07:05,854
There's plenty more fish in the sea.
It's his loss.
165
00:07:05,854 --> 00:07:07,894
Exactly. The thing
you've got to remember...
166
00:07:07,894 --> 00:07:09,854
PHONE BEEPS
Ooh, sorry.
167
00:07:09,854 --> 00:07:12,854
Oh, my God. Guess how hot it is
in Ayia Napa.
168
00:07:12,854 --> 00:07:13,854
Lauren's there.
169
00:07:13,854 --> 00:07:16,854
They've found a bar
where jagerbombs are two euros.
170
00:07:16,854 --> 00:07:18,854
Put that away for a bit, 'ey?
171
00:07:18,854 --> 00:07:21,854
Hey, leave her be. That's how
young people communicate these days.
172
00:07:21,854 --> 00:07:23,854
Must have been well weird
when you were young.
173
00:07:23,854 --> 00:07:25,214
Didn't have mobile phones.
174
00:07:25,214 --> 00:07:27,854
Had to use smoke signals back then,
didn't you, Ken?
175
00:07:27,854 --> 00:07:29,854
Ha.
176
00:07:29,854 --> 00:07:31,854
So, do you think you're up to it,
then?
177
00:07:32,620 --> 00:07:34,620
Sorry?
Keeper of the Lantern Man.
178
00:07:34,620 --> 00:07:38,620
What's this?Steve's been chosen
for this festival they have here.
179
00:07:38,620 --> 00:07:40,980
I have to carry this straw dummy
through the village.
180
00:07:40,980 --> 00:07:42,620
There's nothing to it.
What about the vigil?
181
00:07:42,620 --> 00:07:44,620
That's just spending the night
in a hut.
182
00:07:44,620 --> 00:07:45,660
Is it?
183
00:07:45,660 --> 00:07:48,620
You might change your tune
when you're out there in the woods,
184
00:07:48,620 --> 00:07:50,620
all alone in the dark.
Yeah.
185
00:07:50,620 --> 00:07:52,620
I'm not afraid of the dark.
Good.
186
00:07:52,620 --> 00:07:55,620
Because they do say
that on the stroke of midnight,
187
00:07:55,620 --> 00:07:57,620
the Lantern Man comes alive.
188
00:07:57,620 --> 00:08:00,620
Dad. That's just nonsense.
Well, maybe it is.
189
00:08:00,620 --> 00:08:03,620
But how do you explain what happened
a few years back?
190
00:08:03,620 --> 00:08:08,620
On the morning after the vigil,
the villagers came back to the hut
191
00:08:08,620 --> 00:08:10,620
to find the Lantern Man had gone.
192
00:08:10,620 --> 00:08:13,620
And the Keeper's hair
had turned white.
193
00:08:14,901 --> 00:08:15,901
Oh, my God.
194
00:08:15,901 --> 00:08:17,901
It's true.
195
00:08:17,901 --> 00:08:20,901
It's on MysticBritain.com.
Look, the legend of the Lantern Man.
196
00:08:20,901 --> 00:08:23,201
Yeah, but just cos it's on the
internet doesn't mean it's true.
197
00:08:23,268 --> 00:08:25,268
In fact, the opposite.
198
00:08:35,487 --> 00:08:38,487
Just off to the shop with Zoe.
Do you need anything for your vigil?
199
00:08:38,487 --> 00:08:40,487
No, no. I'm fine.
200
00:08:40,487 --> 00:08:43,327
Oh, maybe some batteries
for the torch?
201
00:08:43,327 --> 00:08:44,487
It's working fine.
202
00:08:44,487 --> 00:08:46,787
Yeah, I know, but just in case.
203
00:08:46,799 --> 00:08:48,759
I'll be back in a bit.
204
00:08:48,759 --> 00:08:51,759
Zoe, are you coming?
In a minute!
205
00:08:51,759 --> 00:08:52,759
I've bet her a choc ice
206
00:08:52,759 --> 00:08:54,759
that she can't get more than a grunt
out of Shannon.
207
00:09:01,759 --> 00:09:06,759
Anyway, like I said,
it's a nice shop.
208
00:09:13,759 --> 00:09:16,759
So, what you reading?
209
00:09:18,439 --> 00:09:20,759
I met Victoria Beckham once.
210
00:09:21,759 --> 00:09:22,959
You never.
211
00:09:22,959 --> 00:09:24,759
I did. Manchester Arndale.
212
00:09:24,759 --> 00:09:26,459
Launch of her new perfume.
213
00:09:26,533 --> 00:09:28,533
She was wearing a top
the same as yours.Was she?
214
00:09:28,533 --> 00:09:31,213
Hm. Where did you get it from?
Online.
215
00:09:31,213 --> 00:09:33,733
It's dead nice.
Thanks.
216
00:09:33,733 --> 00:09:35,213
Gareth!
217
00:09:35,213 --> 00:09:38,533
Victoria Beckham's
got the same top as me.
218
00:09:38,533 --> 00:09:39,533
Says who?
219
00:09:39,533 --> 00:09:41,533
Nicky's daughter.
220
00:09:42,744 --> 00:09:43,744
FOOTSTEPS
221
00:09:45,228 --> 00:09:46,268
All right?
222
00:09:47,111 --> 00:09:49,111
Who's this, then?
Hi.
223
00:09:49,111 --> 00:09:50,751
I'm Zoe.
Bronson.
224
00:09:50,751 --> 00:09:52,751
Nice to meet you, Zoe.
225
00:09:59,751 --> 00:10:01,791
No, don't get me wrong,
he's a nice lad.
226
00:10:01,791 --> 00:10:03,751
I'm just saying,
he gets in a lot of trouble.
227
00:10:03,751 --> 00:10:05,751
Mum, why are you even
talking about him?
228
00:10:05,751 --> 00:10:07,751
I'm just saying, beware.
229
00:10:07,751 --> 00:10:09,271
Beware of what?
230
00:10:09,271 --> 00:10:10,751
I've just split up with Danny,
231
00:10:10,751 --> 00:10:12,751
I'm not looking
to go out with anyone else.
232
00:10:12,751 --> 00:10:13,751
PHONE BEEPS
233
00:10:13,751 --> 00:10:14,751
Who's that?
234
00:10:14,751 --> 00:10:16,271
Bronson.
235
00:10:21,274 --> 00:10:22,914
DRUM BANGING
236
00:10:22,914 --> 00:10:23,954
CHATTER
237
00:10:28,434 --> 00:10:31,954
I hope Steve appreciates
what an honour it is to be chosen.
238
00:10:31,954 --> 00:10:34,914
Some people in the village
have waited years to do it.
239
00:10:34,914 --> 00:10:36,914
Oh, yeah, he's chuffed to bits.
240
00:10:36,914 --> 00:10:38,914
How much further is it?
241
00:10:38,914 --> 00:10:40,914
Keep going, I'll tell you
when we get there.
242
00:10:42,914 --> 00:10:44,914
Seriously?
Yeah.
243
00:10:44,914 --> 00:10:46,754
Two police cars.
244
00:10:46,754 --> 00:10:49,114
What's all this about, anyway?
Oh, God knows.
245
00:10:49,114 --> 00:10:53,914
They do it every year. I think
it's just an excuse to get wasted.
246
00:10:53,914 --> 00:10:55,434
Is that Bronson with our Zoe?
247
00:10:55,434 --> 00:10:57,914
Oh, Dad, leave it.
You'll only make it worse.
248
00:11:03,458 --> 00:11:05,618
When Lantern's seen
on dale or moor,
249
00:11:05,618 --> 00:11:07,618
in us hands we take the law.
250
00:11:07,618 --> 00:11:12,218
Over beck and gill he ran,
who will burn the Lantern Man?
251
00:11:12,218 --> 00:11:14,298
ALL: We will!
252
00:11:14,298 --> 00:11:15,618
Right, that's that bit done.
253
00:11:15,618 --> 00:11:17,298
Time for you to go in't hut.
254
00:11:17,298 --> 00:11:19,138
Right, then, good luck.
255
00:11:19,138 --> 00:11:20,618
You'll need it.
256
00:11:20,618 --> 00:11:23,618
Have you got your mobile,
just in case?Yeah.
257
00:11:23,618 --> 00:11:25,618
And batteries for your torch?
Yeah.
258
00:11:25,618 --> 00:11:28,618
And, er, Grecian 2000?
Yeah, thanks, Ken.
259
00:11:30,618 --> 00:11:32,618
I'll see you in the morning.
Bye, then.
260
00:11:53,298 --> 00:11:54,618
You all right?
261
00:11:55,618 --> 00:11:58,618
It's OK for you,
you get burnt tomorrow.
262
00:11:58,618 --> 00:12:01,618
Some of us are stuck here
for the rest of our lives.
263
00:12:02,818 --> 00:12:04,618
Sorry.
264
00:12:05,658 --> 00:12:07,618
Right.
265
00:12:08,618 --> 00:12:11,618
I'm just gonna nip out,
use the facilities.
266
00:12:12,618 --> 00:12:14,138
Don't go anywhere.
267
00:12:19,618 --> 00:12:21,618
CLATTERING
268
00:12:23,618 --> 00:12:24,618
Hello?
269
00:12:28,138 --> 00:12:29,618
Who's there?
270
00:12:43,618 --> 00:12:45,618
Argh!
271
00:12:52,618 --> 00:12:58,018
LAUGHS
272
00:12:58,039 --> 00:12:59,039
Sorry, Steve.
273
00:12:59,039 --> 00:13:02,039
I couldn't resist.No, it's just
that I wasn't expecting it, so...
274
00:13:02,039 --> 00:13:05,559
This was you. "Oh, no! Please!"
I don't think I did do that.
275
00:13:05,559 --> 00:13:08,719
Yeah, right. I saw you going out.
I thought, this will be a laugh.
276
00:13:08,719 --> 00:13:10,239
What are you doing here, anyway?
Er...
277
00:13:10,251 --> 00:13:12,251
Oh, yeah, no, what it was...
278
00:13:12,251 --> 00:13:14,251
There's been an update
on the firework situation.
279
00:13:14,251 --> 00:13:16,251
My pyro bloke can't be there
tomorrow night,
280
00:13:16,251 --> 00:13:18,291
he's got to go and do
the Chinese president's birthday.
281
00:13:18,291 --> 00:13:21,251
So, we were thinking...
you could do it.
282
00:13:21,251 --> 00:13:22,291
Me?
Yeah.
283
00:13:22,291 --> 00:13:25,251
You know about computers.
That's how it's all done these days.
284
00:13:25,251 --> 00:13:27,251
That's designing websites,
it's different.
285
00:13:27,251 --> 00:13:28,931
Nah, it's all the same.
286
00:13:28,931 --> 00:13:31,251
He'll set it all up for you. He just
needs to talk you through it.
287
00:13:31,251 --> 00:13:34,251
Can't you do it?
No. Yeah, no, he wouldn't let me.
288
00:13:34,251 --> 00:13:36,251
I've got a bit of history
on that front.
289
00:13:37,056 --> 00:13:39,056
Have you?
Let's just say
290
00:13:39,056 --> 00:13:42,056
I didn't realise that indoor
fireworks were an actual thing.
291
00:13:42,056 --> 00:13:44,056
I just thought it was fireworks
indoors.
292
00:13:44,056 --> 00:13:46,056
They had to close the Savoy Grill
for three weeks.
293
00:13:46,056 --> 00:13:47,416
Oops, my bad.
294
00:13:48,256 --> 00:13:51,056
No, no, it was pretty bad.
295
00:13:58,056 --> 00:13:59,096
ALL: Cooee!
296
00:14:07,827 --> 00:14:10,827
Morning.
We made you some scones.
297
00:14:10,827 --> 00:14:11,827
What, for breakfast?
298
00:14:12,827 --> 00:14:14,827
I mean, thank you.
299
00:14:14,827 --> 00:14:16,827
So, how did it go?
Yeah, fine.
300
00:14:16,827 --> 00:14:17,867
Any scares?
301
00:14:17,867 --> 00:14:20,027
No. Nothing.
302
00:14:20,027 --> 00:14:22,827
That's not what Grizzo told us,
is it?
303
00:14:22,827 --> 00:14:24,427
He played a trick on you.
304
00:14:24,452 --> 00:14:26,752
You said, "No! Please!"
305
00:14:26,827 --> 00:14:29,827
Did you cry?
Of course I didn't cry.
306
00:14:29,827 --> 00:14:30,827
I've brought you some coffee.
307
00:14:30,827 --> 00:14:32,827
It's Fairtrade.
308
00:14:32,827 --> 00:14:35,667
Oh, thank God.
Anyway, we'll leave you to it.
309
00:14:35,667 --> 00:14:38,187
Would you, er, like us
to take the Lantern Man for you?
310
00:14:38,187 --> 00:14:40,027
No, it's all right.
Nicky's coming to pick us up.
311
00:14:40,027 --> 00:14:42,827
I mean, me. And it.
312
00:14:59,827 --> 00:15:01,827
RADIO: 'And if you're
in the Garthdale area,
313
00:15:01,827 --> 00:15:04,187
'don't forget,
it's the Lantern Man Festival today.
314
00:15:04,187 --> 00:15:07,187
'So why not get those costumes out
and join the parade?
315
00:15:07,187 --> 00:15:10,827
'And to get you in the mood,
here's Phil Collins.'
316
00:15:10,827 --> 00:15:12,827
Shouldn't he have his seatbelt on?
317
00:15:13,827 --> 00:15:14,867
That's the least of his worries.
318
00:15:14,867 --> 00:15:17,027
He's getting chucked on a bonfire
later.
319
00:15:18,827 --> 00:15:20,827
Did you have a nice time with Zoe?
Hardly saw her.
320
00:15:20,827 --> 00:15:22,827
She spent most of the evening
FaceTiming Bronson.
321
00:15:22,827 --> 00:15:25,827
That's not happening, is it?
Not on my watch.
322
00:15:25,827 --> 00:15:29,667
So how was it, then, spending
the night in that drafty old dump?
323
00:15:29,667 --> 00:15:31,827
I was gonna ask you the same thing.
324
00:15:39,722 --> 00:15:41,202
This is gonna be great!
325
00:15:41,202 --> 00:15:42,242
It will be.
326
00:15:42,242 --> 00:15:44,562
Just so long as you
don't go anywhere near them.
327
00:15:44,562 --> 00:15:47,202
You nutter..
LAUGHS
328
00:15:47,202 --> 00:15:50,202
Oh, Steve. This is Sniper.
Pleased to meet you.
329
00:15:50,202 --> 00:15:53,042
Sniper?
So how did you get that nickname?
330
00:15:53,042 --> 00:15:54,202
How do you think?
331
00:15:54,202 --> 00:15:55,702
Oh, right.
332
00:15:55,772 --> 00:15:58,772
So, this is where it all happens?
Looks like a mixing desk.
333
00:15:58,772 --> 00:15:59,772
That is the mixing desk.
334
00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:01,959
He's worse than me, in't he?
No.
335
00:16:03,959 --> 00:16:04,959
I'll leave you to it.
336
00:16:09,479 --> 00:16:10,959
So...
337
00:16:10,959 --> 00:16:12,959
This is the firing system.
338
00:16:12,959 --> 00:16:14,319
I'll be talking you through it
step-by-step.
339
00:16:14,319 --> 00:16:17,959
First things first, I have given
you your own personal pass word.
340
00:16:17,959 --> 00:16:19,959
You will need this
to activate live mode.
341
00:16:19,959 --> 00:16:23,959
Right. I've pre-set it as
Sierra, Tango, Echo, Victor, Echo.
342
00:16:23,959 --> 00:16:27,319
OK, I'd better write that down.
It's S-T-E-V-E.
343
00:16:28,959 --> 00:16:32,799
Steve, yep, OK. Should be able
to remember that. Ha-ha.
344
00:16:32,799 --> 00:16:34,959
Hm.
345
00:16:49,959 --> 00:16:51,319
Nice outfits.
346
00:16:51,319 --> 00:16:53,959
They made those all by themselves.
Really?
347
00:16:53,959 --> 00:16:55,959
I might have helped out
a little bit.
348
00:16:55,959 --> 00:16:57,459
Have you seen that tree costume?
349
00:17:00,959 --> 00:17:02,959
Beautiful.
Really?
350
00:17:02,959 --> 00:17:04,959
Right, that's it. I'm gonna
have a word with...Dad.
351
00:17:04,959 --> 00:17:05,959
Please don't.
352
00:17:05,959 --> 00:17:08,959
If there's one thing that will
drive them together...
353
00:17:13,799 --> 00:17:15,959
When Lantern's seen on dale or moor,
354
00:17:15,959 --> 00:17:17,959
in us hands we take the law.
355
00:17:17,959 --> 00:17:21,639
Over beck and gill he ran,
who will burn the Lantern Man?
356
00:17:21,639 --> 00:17:24,059
ALL: We will!
357
00:17:26,639 --> 00:17:27,959
Right, take a drink.
358
00:17:27,959 --> 00:17:28,959
No, I'd better not.
359
00:17:28,959 --> 00:17:31,319
I'm in charge of the fireworks
tonight.
360
00:17:31,319 --> 00:17:33,959
It's bad luck not to toast
the Lantern Man.
361
00:17:33,959 --> 00:17:34,959
It's even worse luck to be drunk
362
00:17:34,959 --> 00:17:37,959
in charge of ten grand's worth
of fireworks.
363
00:17:37,959 --> 00:17:40,359
Oh, well, if no-one else wants it...
364
00:17:43,959 --> 00:17:44,959
All right, Shannon?
365
00:17:44,959 --> 00:17:46,479
Is Gareth here?
366
00:17:46,479 --> 00:17:49,959
Yeah. Do you want to meet him?
Yeah, please, I'd love to.
367
00:17:49,959 --> 00:17:52,479
Gareth! Nicky wants to meet you.
368
00:17:52,479 --> 00:17:53,959
You what?
369
00:17:53,959 --> 00:17:55,959
Nicky wants to meet you.
370
00:17:55,959 --> 00:17:57,959
Oh. How do?
371
00:17:57,959 --> 00:18:00,959
All right, Gareth? It's nice
to finally put a face to the name.
372
00:18:04,159 --> 00:18:05,959
Them two should get a room.
373
00:18:22,959 --> 00:18:24,159
ALL: We will!
374
00:18:31,256 --> 00:18:33,256
PHONE BEEPS
375
00:18:42,256 --> 00:18:45,256
Who will burn the Lantern Man?
376
00:18:45,256 --> 00:18:47,256
ALL: We will!
377
00:18:47,256 --> 00:18:48,256
Mum, Mum.
378
00:18:48,256 --> 00:18:50,426
I need to talk to you.
Right, what's that Bronson done?
379
00:18:50,433 --> 00:18:53,633
No, Granddad, it's not Bronson.
It's Danny.
380
00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:55,433
He sent me this really nice message,
381
00:18:55,433 --> 00:18:58,113
and he says that he's sorry
and that he misses me.
382
00:18:58,113 --> 00:19:00,473
And he wants us
to get back together.
383
00:19:00,473 --> 00:19:02,433
Well, he's a good lad, Danny.
384
00:19:02,433 --> 00:19:03,433
I've always liked him.
385
00:19:05,082 --> 00:19:07,082
I'm gonna head back to Leeds.
386
00:19:07,082 --> 00:19:09,082
Oh, love. Come here.
387
00:19:09,082 --> 00:19:11,082
I'm really happy for you.
388
00:19:12,082 --> 00:19:14,082
Have you told Bronson?
Yeah, yeah.
389
00:19:14,082 --> 00:19:16,762
He's fine about it.
We're just mates.
390
00:19:34,082 --> 00:19:35,082
No.
391
00:19:35,082 --> 00:19:37,082
SHE GIGGLES
392
00:19:37,082 --> 00:19:41,082
How did you know?I'm telling you,
Denise, two police cars.
393
00:19:41,082 --> 00:19:45,082
And if you do have the yellow ticket
number 347,
394
00:19:45,082 --> 00:19:49,082
there's an unclaimed bottle
of salad cream waiting for you.
395
00:19:49,082 --> 00:19:51,082
The fireworks will take place
in five minutes...
396
00:19:51,410 --> 00:19:52,410
How's it going?
397
00:19:52,410 --> 00:19:56,410
All good. Everything under control.
Just go and enjoy the show.
398
00:19:56,410 --> 00:19:57,410
Oh, do you want a beer?
399
00:19:57,410 --> 00:19:59,610
Not while I'm on duty.
Got my cup of tea, thanks.
400
00:20:00,980 --> 00:20:02,300
And if it's not claimed by then,
401
00:20:02,300 --> 00:20:06,140
the salad cream
will be donated to charity.
402
00:20:06,418 --> 00:20:10,248
And now,
what you've all been waiting for,
403
00:20:10,258 --> 00:20:12,618
it's time for the fireworks.
404
00:20:12,618 --> 00:20:15,258
Are you ready in the tent?
405
00:20:15,258 --> 00:20:16,618
Ready in the tent.
406
00:20:19,258 --> 00:20:21,258
Put the music on, then.
407
00:20:25,458 --> 00:20:27,258
Hurry up!
408
00:20:31,258 --> 00:20:35,938
SPACE ODYSSEY MUSIC
409
00:20:37,258 --> 00:20:39,258
CHATTER
410
00:20:40,894 --> 00:20:42,894
I'm gonna need a countdown.
411
00:20:45,427 --> 00:20:47,067
Ten...
412
00:20:47,067 --> 00:20:51,067
ALL: Nine, eight...
413
00:20:51,067 --> 00:20:54,067
Argh!
MACHINE BEEPS
414
00:20:54,067 --> 00:20:55,067
ALARM BUZZING
415
00:20:55,067 --> 00:20:57,587
ALL: Five, four...
416
00:20:57,587 --> 00:21:01,067
three, two...
417
00:21:01,067 --> 00:21:02,747
one...
418
00:21:02,747 --> 00:21:05,907
FIREWORKS ALL SPARK AT ONCE
419
00:21:20,267 --> 00:21:22,067
BANG
420
00:21:22,067 --> 00:21:23,067
FIREWORKS STOP
421
00:21:25,067 --> 00:21:29,067
ONE FIREWORK HISSES
422
00:21:29,067 --> 00:21:30,427
ALARM BUZZING
423
00:21:30,427 --> 00:21:33,067
CAR ALARM
BABY CRYING
424
00:21:40,067 --> 00:21:41,067
How was that?
425
00:21:41,117 --> 00:21:45,667
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