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1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,960
Ba, ba-ba-ba-ba,
Ba-ba-ba-ba
2
00:00:03,960 --> 00:00:06,320
Ba-ba-ba-ba
3
00:00:06,320 --> 00:00:08,960
When the world
In which you're living
4
00:00:08,960 --> 00:00:12,160
Gets a bit too much to bear
5
00:00:12,160 --> 00:00:17,960
And you need someone to lean on
When you look there's no-one there
6
00:00:17,960 --> 00:00:23,960
You're gonna find me
Out in the country
7
00:00:23,960 --> 00:00:29,480
You're gonna find me
Way out in the country.
8
00:00:38,068 --> 00:00:40,428
Yes! Got my driving licence back.
Good.
9
00:00:40,428 --> 00:00:42,388
Try and keep it a bit longer
this time.
10
00:00:42,388 --> 00:00:45,388
It's a known fact those speed
cameras can be wrongly calibrated.
11
00:00:45,388 --> 00:00:47,388
And you had the bad luck
to find four of them.
12
00:00:47,388 --> 00:00:48,388
Must have been a duff batch.
13
00:00:48,388 --> 00:00:52,388
Well, then, the whole of Leeds would
have got 12 points on their licence,
14
00:00:52,388 --> 00:00:54,388
whereas it was just you.
You're worse than the magistrate.
15
00:00:54,388 --> 00:00:56,388
Still blaming her, are you?
She had it in for me.
16
00:00:56,388 --> 00:00:58,388
Obviously with hindsight,
17
00:00:58,388 --> 00:01:01,068
I wouldn't have been so rude
about caravan owners.
18
00:01:01,068 --> 00:01:02,388
How was I to know she had one?
19
00:01:02,592 --> 00:01:05,592
Anyway, from now on,
I am sticking to the speed limit.
20
00:01:05,592 --> 00:01:07,992
Which is, on a country road...?
21
00:01:08,529 --> 00:01:11,529
It varies.
It certainly does when you're driving.
22
00:01:11,529 --> 00:01:13,569
You're like a changed man
when you get behind the wheel.
23
00:01:13,943 --> 00:01:15,903
You're an addict.
I'm not.
24
00:01:16,184 --> 00:01:20,184
I'm not! So, anyway, do we need
anything from the shop? No.
25
00:01:20,184 --> 00:01:22,184
I think we've got everything
we need.
26
00:01:22,184 --> 00:01:24,184
Except a roof,
but I don't think they sell those.
27
00:01:24,677 --> 00:01:27,677
I know, why don't we drive over
and see your dad?
28
00:01:27,677 --> 00:01:30,277
My dad?
You want to go and see my dad?
29
00:01:30,364 --> 00:01:31,364
Yeah, I do.
30
00:01:31,872 --> 00:01:34,872
Well, luckily,
he's coming over here later.
31
00:01:34,872 --> 00:01:36,262
Apparently, he's got some good news.
32
00:01:36,294 --> 00:01:37,694
Oh, yeah? How long's he got?
33
00:01:37,708 --> 00:01:39,708
Oi! He is my dad.
34
00:01:43,523 --> 00:01:45,883
You are looking
at the new president
35
00:01:45,883 --> 00:01:48,523
of the Garthdale and District
Bowls Club.
36
00:01:48,523 --> 00:01:50,883
Well done, Dad.
Congratulations, Ken.
37
00:01:50,883 --> 00:01:52,523
43 votes to 7.
38
00:01:52,523 --> 00:01:55,523
Third biggest margin in the history
of the club, apparently.
39
00:01:55,523 --> 00:01:57,043
That's amazing.
40
00:01:57,994 --> 00:01:59,494
I mean, expected, but amazing.
41
00:02:00,548 --> 00:02:04,148
Seven votes. Poor old Ralph Norris.
42
00:02:04,189 --> 00:02:08,249
I don't think the committee was
ready for a transgender president.
43
00:02:08,330 --> 00:02:10,210
Is Ralph Norris transgender?
44
00:02:10,244 --> 00:02:11,404
No, of course not.
45
00:02:11,404 --> 00:02:15,004
But that's the rumour that someoneput about.
Dad, that's terrible.
46
00:02:15,052 --> 00:02:18,052
He had it coming. Ever since he
spiked the tea at the whist drive.
47
00:02:18,052 --> 00:02:20,052
28 quid I lost.
48
00:02:20,052 --> 00:02:23,052
Dennis Brigstock was sick
into his hat on the bus home.
49
00:02:23,052 --> 00:02:25,352
Nice.
So is there gonna be a party?
50
00:02:25,490 --> 00:02:28,530
A party? There's an official
inauguration ceremony,
51
00:02:28,530 --> 00:02:30,010
this Saturday.
52
00:02:30,010 --> 00:02:31,490
Brass band, photographer, the lot.
53
00:02:31,787 --> 00:02:36,787
On which subject, how would
you like a bit of gardening work?
54
00:02:36,787 --> 00:02:37,787
What, at the Bowls Club?
55
00:02:37,787 --> 00:02:41,307
No, Kew Gardens (!) Where do you
think I mean?That'd be great, Dad.
56
00:02:41,307 --> 00:02:43,787
I mean, I haven't got any
experience of bowling greens...
57
00:02:43,787 --> 00:02:45,787
No, I don't mean the green.
That's the groundsman's job.
58
00:02:45,787 --> 00:02:48,387
Yeah, come on, Nicky. Sacred turf!
59
00:02:48,419 --> 00:02:50,119
It's like
the centre court at Wimbledon (!)
60
00:02:50,138 --> 00:02:51,478
It's more sacred than that.
61
00:02:51,771 --> 00:02:54,171
We wouldn't let Andy Murray
slide around on our green.
62
00:02:54,212 --> 00:02:55,372
He'd be out on his ear.
63
00:02:55,372 --> 00:02:58,212
Him and his mother!
What have you got against Judy?
64
00:02:58,212 --> 00:02:59,892
No, I'm just saying.
65
00:02:59,892 --> 00:03:02,372
The bowling green
is a specialist job.
66
00:03:02,372 --> 00:03:04,372
Now, do you want this work or not?
67
00:03:07,028 --> 00:03:09,028
You don't have to give me a lift.
It's no trouble.
68
00:03:09,028 --> 00:03:10,868
I'll just drop you off
and I'll go to the shop.
69
00:03:11,059 --> 00:03:13,419
We don't need anything.
We do, I remembered.
70
00:03:13,419 --> 00:03:16,219
I've run out of envelopes.
A4 envelopes.
71
00:03:16,219 --> 00:03:17,219
Have you (?)
Yes.
72
00:03:17,219 --> 00:03:19,219
I know you.
As soon as you're on your own,
73
00:03:19,219 --> 00:03:21,259
you will be racing round the lanes
at 80 mph.
74
00:03:21,259 --> 00:03:23,219
I will not.
75
00:03:23,219 --> 00:03:26,519
Anyway, I don't think this could
do 80. Well, let's not find out.
76
00:03:26,521 --> 00:03:28,521
ALL: Coo-ee!
Oh!
77
00:03:28,521 --> 00:03:30,521
Glad we caught you.
We were just wondering...
78
00:03:30,521 --> 00:03:33,021
Would you mind if we picked
some of those nettles?Please do.
79
00:03:33,052 --> 00:03:35,052
I was gonna spray them
with weedkiller.
80
00:03:35,052 --> 00:03:37,052
We don't like weedkiller.
Neither do nettles.
81
00:03:37,052 --> 00:03:39,052
That's why I was gonna
spray it on them.
82
00:03:39,052 --> 00:03:40,572
Hm. That's a pity, Steve.
83
00:03:40,572 --> 00:03:42,052
Nettles are a really good
food source.
84
00:03:42,052 --> 00:03:46,052
Meena's been given this amazing
recipe book.Ta-da!
85
00:03:46,268 --> 00:03:49,768
"101 Things To Do With Nettles."
Look at that, Steve.
86
00:03:49,823 --> 00:03:51,823
You can make nettle tea.
Nettle soup.
87
00:03:51,823 --> 00:03:53,423
Nettle quiche.
Nettle smoothies.
88
00:03:53,454 --> 00:03:55,374
Nettle risotto.
Nettle loaf.
89
00:03:55,408 --> 00:03:57,888
BOTH: Nettle porridge.
Nettle scones.
90
00:03:58,384 --> 00:04:01,684
Yeah, like it says, 101 things.So,
do you mind if we help ourselves?
91
00:04:02,150 --> 00:04:04,150
Pick as many as you like.
92
00:04:04,150 --> 00:04:07,150
CHEERING
Nettles are our friends!
93
00:04:07,150 --> 00:04:09,150
Well, you go and play with them,
then.
94
00:04:10,583 --> 00:04:14,583
Yum, nettle porridge (!)
The fun never stops at their house.
95
00:04:14,583 --> 00:04:15,583
I can think of another recipe.
96
00:04:15,583 --> 00:04:18,083
Take one bunch of stinging nettles
and shove them up Matt's...
97
00:04:18,098 --> 00:04:19,898
HORN TOOTS
Yeah, all right.
98
00:04:19,919 --> 00:04:21,439
TOOTING CONTINUES
99
00:04:21,439 --> 00:04:22,919
I'm not having this.
Steve...
100
00:04:22,919 --> 00:04:24,919
Oh, come off it.
I can't let him get away with that.
101
00:04:24,919 --> 00:04:27,519
INSISTENT TOOTING
102
00:04:27,591 --> 00:04:29,591
Just stick to the speed limit.
103
00:04:29,591 --> 00:04:31,591
Really (?)
104
00:04:31,591 --> 00:04:33,591
Just pull over and let him go past.
105
00:04:37,257 --> 00:04:38,457
Oh.
106
00:04:38,457 --> 00:04:40,257
Steve, Nicky.
All right, Grizzo.
107
00:04:40,257 --> 00:04:41,257
Oh, it's you.
108
00:04:41,257 --> 00:04:43,257
Didn't you hear me?
I've been going like this:
109
00:04:43,257 --> 00:04:44,257
HORN TOOTS
110
00:04:44,257 --> 00:04:47,597
You kept speeding up. I thought,
"Hello, he wants a race."
111
00:04:47,660 --> 00:04:49,920
No, he doesn't want a race.
112
00:04:49,980 --> 00:04:52,980
No. That is a lovely car, though.
113
00:04:52,980 --> 00:04:55,660
This? Yeah, bit of a weird one.
114
00:04:55,660 --> 00:04:58,980
I was in Turin, plugging a new
album, and they just give me it.
115
00:04:58,980 --> 00:05:00,980
I had to drive it all the way home.
116
00:05:00,980 --> 00:05:04,380
It didn't take long, to be fair.
You should borrow it some time.
117
00:05:10,043 --> 00:05:14,363
Steve?I know.
Mirror, signal, manoeuvre. Hm.
118
00:05:23,310 --> 00:05:25,110
I'll pick you up at five.
119
00:05:25,152 --> 00:05:26,652
You sure you don't want
anything from the shop?
120
00:05:26,613 --> 00:05:29,613
See if you can get a smile
out of Shannon.She's not that bad.
121
00:05:29,613 --> 00:05:31,613
I think a lot of it
might be your attitude.
122
00:05:31,613 --> 00:05:34,133
MY attitude?
123
00:05:43,277 --> 00:05:44,277
Hiya, how's it going?
124
00:05:44,996 --> 00:05:47,996
Oh! I'm good, thanks.
How are you, Shannon?
125
00:05:47,996 --> 00:05:50,836
Do you mind?
I'm on t'phone to me sister.
126
00:05:50,836 --> 00:05:53,996
I'll take you off speakerphone.
Right.
127
00:05:53,996 --> 00:05:55,996
Sorry about that, Caz.
128
00:05:55,996 --> 00:05:57,996
Customer came in
and started talking at me.
129
00:05:58,694 --> 00:06:01,654
No, the new ones.
What bought house in the Dip.
130
00:06:03,177 --> 00:06:07,677
I know.
LAUGHS
131
00:06:18,474 --> 00:06:20,174
Look at that.
132
00:06:20,161 --> 00:06:22,801
Never mind bowls,
we could play billiards on that.
133
00:06:22,801 --> 00:06:24,961
Do you want me to dig some holes
in the corners, then?
134
00:06:24,961 --> 00:06:28,161
Don't you set foot on it. Anyway,
you've got your work cut out.
135
00:06:28,161 --> 00:06:30,961
These hedges want doing,
the tubs need sorting.
136
00:06:30,961 --> 00:06:33,961
I want it looking top-notch
in time for my inauguration.
137
00:06:33,961 --> 00:06:37,601
Well, best crack on, then.
So why did the last gardener leave?
138
00:06:37,670 --> 00:06:39,830
Have you met our club secretary?
139
00:06:39,830 --> 00:06:42,670
Terry, this is my daughter, Nicky.
140
00:06:42,670 --> 00:06:44,830
Pleased to meet you. Do you bowl?
141
00:06:44,830 --> 00:06:47,430
No, I don't.
That's a shame.
142
00:06:47,478 --> 00:06:49,478
We did have a father and daughter
team
143
00:06:49,478 --> 00:06:51,318
who were runners-up
in the mixed pairs.
144
00:06:51,318 --> 00:06:53,478
That was in the Eldritch Cup
in 1986.
145
00:06:53,478 --> 00:06:56,678
And then the following year,
they played separately.
146
00:06:56,678 --> 00:06:57,998
Bob was in the men's pairs,
147
00:06:57,998 --> 00:07:02,158
Liz was in the ladies pairs.
And guess what?
148
00:07:02,158 --> 00:07:04,478
They both came runners-up. Again!
149
00:07:04,478 --> 00:07:06,478
ALL LAUGH
Really?
150
00:07:06,478 --> 00:07:08,478
Right, well, I'll leave you to it,
then.
151
00:07:08,478 --> 00:07:10,978
Good luck.
152
00:07:11,056 --> 00:07:14,056
So, you don't bowl at all?
153
00:07:20,509 --> 00:07:24,509
No, it were an infected toenail.
I did.
154
00:07:24,939 --> 00:07:27,939
He gave me some tablets,
but I came out in a rash.
155
00:07:27,939 --> 00:07:30,939
I thought I'd leave it alone
for a few days.All right?
156
00:07:30,939 --> 00:07:31,939
Hi, Bronson.
157
00:07:31,939 --> 00:07:34,939
Erm, you don't happen to know
if you've...
158
00:07:36,939 --> 00:07:39,939
Oh. Breakfast?
Yeah.
159
00:07:41,779 --> 00:07:44,939
What - that just goes
back on the shelf, does it? Huh.
160
00:07:44,939 --> 00:07:47,939
You don't happen to know
if you've got any of those, erm...
161
00:07:51,415 --> 00:07:52,415
..A4 envelopes?
162
00:07:56,197 --> 00:07:58,197
I don't know. Ask me mum.
163
00:07:59,251 --> 00:08:01,251
Thanks for your help, anyway.
164
00:08:01,251 --> 00:08:04,251
The nail popped off
like a bottle top. Yeah.
165
00:08:04,251 --> 00:08:06,251
The sock had fused with the scab.
166
00:08:12,771 --> 00:08:16,451
Now, he also had a Honda Civic,
but it was a 1.6 litre
167
00:08:16,451 --> 00:08:19,251
and he couldn't get
used to the clutch on it.
168
00:08:19,251 --> 00:08:22,251
He lived on a road
with quite a steep gradient.
169
00:08:22,251 --> 00:08:23,251
Did he?
170
00:08:23,251 --> 00:08:27,451
Eventually, he traded it
in for a Ford Mondeo Estate.
171
00:08:27,451 --> 00:08:29,251
Terry, I really must get on.
172
00:08:29,251 --> 00:08:32,251
Shouldn't you be cutting that back
a bit further?
173
00:08:34,251 --> 00:08:36,251
Yeah. Right.
174
00:08:39,775 --> 00:08:42,775
Bye.
Sorry to bother you... Bye, then.
175
00:08:44,775 --> 00:08:46,775
Do you have any A4 envelopes?
176
00:08:46,775 --> 00:08:48,455
Don't stock 'em.
177
00:08:48,455 --> 00:08:50,775
Is there a reason for that?
178
00:08:50,775 --> 00:08:52,815
Gareth!
179
00:08:52,815 --> 00:08:56,775
Is there a reason
we don't stock A4 envelopes?
180
00:08:56,775 --> 00:08:59,275
GARETH: No!
181
00:08:59,353 --> 00:09:02,353
Someone wants A4 envelopes!
182
00:09:02,353 --> 00:09:04,353
Why don't we stock 'em?
183
00:09:04,353 --> 00:09:06,353
There's no demand!
184
00:09:06,353 --> 00:09:09,353
There's no demand.
Well...
185
00:09:09,353 --> 00:09:12,193
You could try
the superstore over at Redborough.
186
00:09:12,193 --> 00:09:14,713
It's a bit of a drive, but they've
got everything there.Ah.
187
00:09:14,908 --> 00:09:18,548
That's a good idea.
Thank you, Alice. See?
188
00:09:18,548 --> 00:09:20,228
You've lost yourself a customer.
189
00:09:20,228 --> 00:09:22,548
You're only a customer
if you buy something.
190
00:09:22,548 --> 00:09:25,548
Yeah, and the reason
I didn't buy something is...
191
00:09:25,548 --> 00:09:28,548
Anyway, I'm gonna drive
to the superstore.
192
00:09:28,548 --> 00:09:31,548
In that case, could I come with you?
There's a couple of things I need.
193
00:09:39,102 --> 00:09:41,102
It's further than I remember.
194
00:09:43,622 --> 00:09:46,622
Can't you go any faster?
Yes, I could,
195
00:09:46,622 --> 00:09:49,102
but the speed limit's
there for a reason.
196
00:09:53,102 --> 00:09:55,102
Oh, would you mind turning round?
197
00:09:55,102 --> 00:09:56,622
Sorry?
198
00:09:56,622 --> 00:09:58,102
I forgot me carrier bags.
199
00:09:58,102 --> 00:10:00,102
It's all right,
I've got plenty in the boot.
200
00:10:00,102 --> 00:10:03,102
They charge you for them these days.
201
00:10:03,102 --> 00:10:06,102
Yeah, I know. But like I say...
202
00:10:10,102 --> 00:10:12,102
I'm going to need quite a few.
203
00:10:12,102 --> 00:10:14,302
I've got a boot load of them.
204
00:10:16,673 --> 00:10:18,673
Are you sure you've got enough?
205
00:10:18,673 --> 00:10:20,673
Alice, I promise you
206
00:10:20,673 --> 00:10:22,673
I've got more carrier bags
than a dolphin's stomach.
207
00:10:26,673 --> 00:10:28,673
It's further than I remember.
208
00:10:28,673 --> 00:10:31,713
It certainly feels like it.
209
00:10:35,193 --> 00:10:37,673
INAUDIBLE CHATTING
210
00:11:00,673 --> 00:11:03,673
I'm just checking
I've got everything on my list.
211
00:11:03,673 --> 00:11:06,673
I really think you have, Alice.
I'm stocking up for the winter.
212
00:11:06,673 --> 00:11:09,673
Who are you expecting,
the Russian Army?
213
00:11:09,673 --> 00:11:11,673
Oh! Gravy granules.
214
00:11:11,673 --> 00:11:13,673
Er, no...
215
00:11:14,673 --> 00:11:17,673
Got them.
So, shall we get in the car?
216
00:11:17,673 --> 00:11:20,673
Those are beef.
I wanted chicken as well.
217
00:11:20,673 --> 00:11:22,673
Beef gravy
goes really nicely with chicken.
218
00:11:22,673 --> 00:11:24,673
It's not the same.
219
00:11:26,478 --> 00:11:28,118
If you wouldn't mind...
220
00:11:28,462 --> 00:11:29,462
Right.
221
00:11:43,462 --> 00:11:46,162
Sorry, sorry.
Where have you been?
222
00:11:46,298 --> 00:11:47,498
I've been sat here 45 minutes!
223
00:11:47,498 --> 00:11:50,298
I had to go to the superstore
in Redborough.
224
00:11:50,298 --> 00:11:51,498
What? Oh, I see.
225
00:11:51,498 --> 00:11:53,298
The one that's a nice long
drive away,
226
00:11:53,298 --> 00:11:55,658
over the moors on the empty road.
227
00:11:55,658 --> 00:11:57,298
How did it go, Stig?
228
00:11:57,298 --> 00:12:00,098
I got roped into taking Alice.
She was in there for hours.
229
00:12:00,134 --> 00:12:02,174
Ended up with eight tons of
tinned goods in the back of the car.
230
00:12:02,174 --> 00:12:05,334
It was like working for the
Red Cross. Didn't you get my text?
231
00:12:05,334 --> 00:12:07,434
I did, but I couldn't read it
cos I was driving.
232
00:12:07,520 --> 00:12:09,012
At the correct speed.
233
00:12:09,028 --> 00:12:11,986
Go and ask Alice. She might
invite you in for a cup of gravy.
234
00:12:11,986 --> 00:12:15,337
All right, I believe you.I told
you, my speeding days are over.
235
00:12:15,337 --> 00:12:17,654
HORN BLARES
236
00:12:18,310 --> 00:12:19,790
Steve! Nicky!
237
00:12:20,115 --> 00:12:21,115
Hi, Grizzo.
238
00:12:21,115 --> 00:12:24,315
Steve, when are you gonna
take this for a spin, then?
239
00:12:24,349 --> 00:12:28,029
Very kind of you. I'd better not.
Thanks, anyway.
240
00:12:28,029 --> 00:12:30,349
All right. Well,
if you change your mind...
241
00:12:31,214 --> 00:12:33,214
You know you want to.
242
00:12:37,589 --> 00:12:39,429
REVS ENGINE
243
00:12:42,105 --> 00:12:45,105
Ba, ba-ba-ba-ba...
244
00:12:45,412 --> 00:12:48,912
Ba, ba-ba-ba-ba,
Ba-ba-ba-ba...
245
00:12:52,412 --> 00:12:55,252
Salad, Ken?
Thanks.
246
00:12:56,412 --> 00:12:59,772
We'd offer you some nettles, only
Matt and Meena have eaten them all.
247
00:13:00,924 --> 00:13:03,619
So, how did you get on at the club?
248
00:13:03,619 --> 00:13:04,779
Yeah, nearly done.
249
00:13:04,779 --> 00:13:07,463
I'd have finished today if it
wasn't for your club secretary.
250
00:13:07,463 --> 00:13:11,019
Ah, yes. Tedious Terry.
Sorry about him.
251
00:13:11,019 --> 00:13:14,238
Did he tell you about his barometer collection?
He did.
252
00:13:14,238 --> 00:13:16,238
And his bloody snuff boxes.
253
00:13:16,621 --> 00:13:19,621
Whatever you do,
don't mention Commonwealth stamps.
254
00:13:19,621 --> 00:13:21,058
Or you'll be there till Christmas.
255
00:13:21,058 --> 00:13:23,035
What time
is the inauguration ceremony?
256
00:13:23,035 --> 00:13:25,191
Six thirty. Should be a good night.
257
00:13:25,191 --> 00:13:28,371
There's gonna be a barbecue
and a disco later.
258
00:13:28,371 --> 00:13:30,371
No doubt a few pints will be had!
259
00:13:30,371 --> 00:13:33,255
Let's just say I've ordered a cab.
260
00:13:33,255 --> 00:13:37,455
Actually, I was thinking, Ken,
I've got my driving licence back...
261
00:13:37,794 --> 00:13:40,594
Oh, dear. Nigel Mansell's
back at the wheel, is he?
262
00:13:40,594 --> 00:13:41,594
Lock up your pheasants!
263
00:13:41,594 --> 00:13:43,594
To be fair,
he has stuck to the speed limit.
264
00:13:43,594 --> 00:13:46,366
He's a reformed character.
That's what they said about Bronson.
265
00:13:46,366 --> 00:13:49,366
The day before he set fire
to the mobile library.
266
00:13:49,889 --> 00:13:52,889
Anyway, I was gonna offer you
a lift.
267
00:13:52,889 --> 00:13:54,702
A lift?
268
00:13:54,702 --> 00:13:58,225
It'll save you the cost of a cab
and I don't mind not drinking.
269
00:13:58,225 --> 00:13:59,952
Well, if you're sure.
270
00:13:59,952 --> 00:14:02,647
There you go, Dad.
It's your big night.
271
00:14:02,647 --> 00:14:04,123
It's the least I can do.
272
00:14:04,123 --> 00:14:06,963
ENGINE REVVING
273
00:14:10,601 --> 00:14:12,601
You ready, Nicky?
Yeah, I'm coming.
274
00:14:12,601 --> 00:14:14,601
You having fun?
275
00:14:14,601 --> 00:14:16,601
We're wearing magic gloves.
276
00:14:16,601 --> 00:14:19,121
Aren't those just
ordinary washing-up gloves?
277
00:14:21,416 --> 00:14:23,216
I was just saying to Meena,
278
00:14:23,216 --> 00:14:25,216
I can't believe you haven't
picked these nettles yourselves.
279
00:14:25,216 --> 00:14:27,237
I made some soup
with the first batch.
280
00:14:27,237 --> 00:14:29,397
Gonna treat ourselves
to a nice hot bowl when we get home.
281
00:14:29,397 --> 00:14:31,397
Mm, yummy...
WHISPERING
282
00:14:31,397 --> 00:14:33,397
Is he all right?
283
00:14:33,397 --> 00:14:36,077
Silas was wondering if Steve
is going to keep the engine on
284
00:14:36,077 --> 00:14:37,237
while we're talking.
285
00:14:37,237 --> 00:14:39,397
It's bad for the planet.
And for little lungs.
286
00:14:39,397 --> 00:14:43,087
Eh, Pips?
COUGHS
287
00:14:43,087 --> 00:14:46,087
You're all right. We're going anyway
or I'll be late for work.
288
00:14:47,165 --> 00:14:49,165
Mind you don't sting yourselves.
289
00:14:56,767 --> 00:14:59,767
Now, the interesting thing
about Fiji
290
00:14:59,767 --> 00:15:05,978
is they left the Commonwealth
in 1987 and rejoined in 1997.
291
00:15:05,978 --> 00:15:08,458
Did they? Now, if you don't mind...
292
00:15:08,458 --> 00:15:11,978
So, should I collect the stamps
issued in the interim period
293
00:15:11,978 --> 00:15:13,458
or should I not?
294
00:15:20,137 --> 00:15:23,137
RIFF FROM
SMOKE ON THE WATER PLAYS
295
00:15:29,029 --> 00:15:30,989
Hey, Steve!
I like the door chime.
296
00:15:30,989 --> 00:15:33,989
It's good, innit?
Did you see the effects?
297
00:15:33,989 --> 00:15:35,989
What?
Press it again.
298
00:15:35,989 --> 00:15:37,989
RIFF PLAYS AGAIN
299
00:15:37,989 --> 00:15:39,509
Look behind you.
300
00:15:44,536 --> 00:15:47,536
Smoke On The Water. Get it?
Yeah. With the music and the...
301
00:15:47,536 --> 00:15:49,536
It's very clever.
302
00:15:49,536 --> 00:15:50,736
I was gonna do Purple Rain.
303
00:15:50,736 --> 00:15:53,536
Press the doorbell
and you get sprayed with Ribena.
304
00:15:53,536 --> 00:15:55,536
But thought
it might get a bit messy.
305
00:15:55,536 --> 00:15:57,536
You wouldn't want the Osmonds
turning up, would you?
306
00:15:57,536 --> 00:15:59,536
Eh?
307
00:15:59,536 --> 00:16:01,376
Didn't they use
to wear white suits?
308
00:16:01,376 --> 00:16:03,536
I don't know what
you're talking about, Steve.
309
00:16:03,536 --> 00:16:05,536
No, fair enough.
I've got a favour to ask.
310
00:16:05,536 --> 00:16:07,536
Yeah, come in.
311
00:16:10,950 --> 00:16:17,106
Whereas Australia didn't issue
its first postage stamp until 1913.
312
00:16:17,106 --> 00:16:19,106
Terry, I really must
get this finished.
313
00:16:19,106 --> 00:16:21,106
Those shears look a bit blunt to me.
314
00:16:21,106 --> 00:16:24,106
I'll go and get you
the sharpening stone.
315
00:16:24,106 --> 00:16:26,106
Honestly...
It's no trouble.
316
00:16:26,106 --> 00:16:30,106
Now, Canada's first stamp
was the first stamp
317
00:16:30,106 --> 00:16:35,106
anywhere in the world to feature
an animal rather than a monarch,
318
00:16:35,106 --> 00:16:37,106
and can you guess
what that animal was?
319
00:16:42,106 --> 00:16:44,106
Hello?
KNOCKING ON DOOR
320
00:16:51,106 --> 00:16:55,306
And then maybe we can make
some nettle scones.Yay!
321
00:16:55,306 --> 00:16:58,106
Stand back, everyone.
Gas guzzler approaching.
322
00:17:05,106 --> 00:17:07,106
COUGHING
323
00:17:09,942 --> 00:17:12,942
Yep, that's not too shabby.
Not bad at all.
324
00:17:12,942 --> 00:17:13,942
Thanks, Dad.
325
00:17:13,942 --> 00:17:14,825
KNOCKING AT DOOR
326
00:17:14,825 --> 00:17:16,345
What's that banging noise?
Banging?
327
00:17:16,345 --> 00:17:18,825
Coming from in here.
328
00:17:20,825 --> 00:17:22,865
Hello, Terry.
What are you doing in there?
329
00:17:22,865 --> 00:17:25,825
I wondered where you'd got to.
Did you not hear me?
330
00:17:25,825 --> 00:17:28,345
No, sorry. I had these on.
331
00:17:28,345 --> 00:17:32,825
I was talking to you when I went in.
Then the door just slammed shut.
332
00:17:32,825 --> 00:17:34,825
Oh, strange.
I wonder how that happened?
333
00:17:34,825 --> 00:17:36,825
It's a complete mystery.
334
00:17:37,825 --> 00:17:39,825
It was a beaver.
What?
335
00:17:39,825 --> 00:17:43,164
The animal on the Canadian stamp.
A beaver.
336
00:17:45,139 --> 00:17:48,561
"Not too shabby."
Pretty good, coming from your dad.
337
00:17:48,561 --> 00:17:51,201
That's a five-star review from him.
338
00:17:51,201 --> 00:17:54,201
So what time did we say
we'd pick him up? About 6 o'clock.
339
00:17:54,201 --> 00:17:56,787
What's Grizzo doing here?
Ah, now...
340
00:17:56,787 --> 00:17:58,373
Hang on, where's our car?
341
00:17:58,373 --> 00:18:01,144
I was gonna talk to you
about all that.
342
00:18:01,144 --> 00:18:03,184
Were you?
343
00:18:06,089 --> 00:18:08,089
TOOTS HORN
344
00:18:18,089 --> 00:18:21,089
Very nice. Italian.
345
00:18:21,089 --> 00:18:23,089
This certainly beats
Garthdale Minicabs.
346
00:18:23,089 --> 00:18:29,089
Nobody's thrown up in the ashtray,
for a start. Was this your idea?
347
00:18:29,089 --> 00:18:30,609
No. It was all Steve's.
348
00:18:30,609 --> 00:18:34,089
Hey, I bet this can shift.
Oh, yes.
349
00:18:34,089 --> 00:18:37,089
Twin turbo,
nought to 60 in four seconds.
350
00:18:37,089 --> 00:18:38,089
Top speed of 190.
351
00:18:38,089 --> 00:18:42,129
Not that I feel the need to
prove it. Those days are behind me.
352
00:18:42,129 --> 00:18:45,276
Just wait till Ralph Norris
sees me pull up in this.
353
00:18:45,276 --> 00:18:47,089
He'll never live it down.
354
00:18:51,824 --> 00:18:53,824
He's two minutes late, Ralph.
355
00:18:55,864 --> 00:18:58,824
APPLAUSE
356
00:19:05,344 --> 00:19:07,504
Thanks for this, Steve.
357
00:19:07,504 --> 00:19:09,504
You're welcome, Ken.
358
00:19:13,504 --> 00:19:16,504
BRASS BAND STARTS PLAYING
359
00:19:16,504 --> 00:19:18,504
MUSIC:
'For He's A Jolly Good Fellow'
360
00:19:22,270 --> 00:19:24,270
Afternoon, Ralph.
361
00:19:28,020 --> 00:19:30,020
Thank you.
362
00:19:30,020 --> 00:19:32,020
LAUGHTER AND CHATTING
363
00:19:32,801 --> 00:19:36,160
I must say, Ken,
the grounds are in great shape.
364
00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:38,629
Well, that's how
it's gonna be on my watch, Terry.
365
00:19:38,629 --> 00:19:42,629
In fact, it's the best it's looked
since 1994,
366
00:19:42,629 --> 00:19:46,032
when Bob Patterson was president.
Now, interestingly...
367
00:19:46,032 --> 00:19:47,032
EVERYONE GROANS
368
00:19:47,032 --> 00:19:49,055
Give it a rest, or you'll
get locked up in that shed again.
369
00:19:49,055 --> 00:19:51,055
LAUGHTER
370
00:19:51,055 --> 00:19:54,055
Nettle scone, anyone?
They're gluten free.
371
00:19:54,055 --> 00:19:56,055
Have you got any
that are nettle free?
372
00:19:56,055 --> 00:19:58,055
LAUGHTER
373
00:19:58,415 --> 00:20:00,149
Hey, Meena. Where's Matt?
374
00:20:00,149 --> 00:20:01,415
Daddy's not well.
375
00:20:01,415 --> 00:20:03,415
Oh, no. Poor Matt.
What's up with him?
376
00:20:03,415 --> 00:20:05,415
It was the nettle soup.
We all had some.
377
00:20:05,415 --> 00:20:07,415
It was lovely, wasn't it?
378
00:20:07,415 --> 00:20:09,415
But it turns out
Matt's allergic to nettles.
379
00:20:09,415 --> 00:20:12,415
Oh. Allergic to nettles?
That is bad luck.
380
00:20:12,415 --> 00:20:15,107
I know.
He's being very brave about it.
381
00:20:21,740 --> 00:20:23,740
Stupid bloody nettles!
382
00:20:28,154 --> 00:20:31,154
ENGINE STARTS
383
00:20:37,506 --> 00:20:41,346
MUSIC: 'Smoke On The Water'
by Deep Purple
384
00:20:47,842 --> 00:20:49,842
MUSIC STOPS
385
00:20:55,959 --> 00:20:57,919
TYRES SCREECH
386
00:21:41,059 --> 00:21:43,059
Sorry about that.
387
00:21:44,817 --> 00:21:48,833
I think you can still use that
bit over there. You know, for...
388
00:21:51,817 --> 00:21:55,017
Ba, ba-ba-ba-ba,
Ba-ba-ba-ba
389
00:21:55,017 --> 00:21:57,497
Ba-ba-ba-ba
390
00:21:57,497 --> 00:21:59,817
When the world in
Which you're living
391
00:21:59,817 --> 00:22:02,817
Gets a bit too much to bear
392
00:22:02,817 --> 00:22:06,497
And you need someone to lean on
393
00:22:06,497 --> 00:22:08,817
When you look there's no-one there
394
00:22:08,817 --> 00:22:14,817
You're gonna find me
Out in the country
395
00:22:14,817 --> 00:22:17,817
You're gonna find me
396
00:22:17,817 --> 00:22:20,817
Way out in the country.
397
00:22:20,817 --> 00:22:21,817
Subtitles by TVT
398
00:22:21,867 --> 00:22:26,417
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