Original subtitles

Ba ba-ba ba-ba Ba-ba ba-ba ba-ba ba-ba

When the world In which you're living

Gets a bit too much to bear

And you need someone to lean on

When you look There's no-one there

You're gonna find me Ba-ba ba-ba

Out in the country Ba-ba ba-ba

You're gonna find me Ba-ba ba-ba

Way out in the country Ba-ba-ba.

SHEEP BLEATS

To send a message, loud and clear -

this is our village!

They're not wanted here, with their drilling rigs and their lorries.

Hear, hear. APPLAUSE

And I know we all love living here...

Steady on.

..but if this fracking business goes ahead,

we wouldn't be able to sell our houses, even if we wanted to.

Let's have a show of hands. All those against fracking.

And is there anyone in favour of this fracking scheme?

I'm sorry, if you're going to use language like that, I'm leaving.

No, Alice, it's not...

Right, next item on the agenda - security.

We've had another break-in.

Petty cash tin were taken from Scout cupboard.

Do you like the banner? Silas and Pips did that all by themselves.

Matt's written a piece for the local paper.

I happen to have a really good contact there.

The Garthdale Newsletter?

Isn't that just done by a bloke with a photocopier?

Laser printer. Anyway, he's definitely onside.

Everyone in the parish is gonna get a copy.

Great. Well, Steve's website got over 10,000 hits.

Yeah, we've been contacted by anti-fracking groups

from all over the world.

Oh, well done, Steve. Every little helps.

We don't like fracking. It's bad for the planet.

Yep, and the house prices.

We were thinking it might be a good idea to get Grizzo involved,

maybe he could arrange a fundraising gig or something.

Now, that is a good idea.

And tell him, if he needs a support act,

I've got a couple of songs I could play.

Matt's really good at guitar. Course he is.

Shall we?

If you all hate fracking Clap your hands

Oh, look, there's my dad. Better go and...

If you all hate fracking All hate fracking...

All right, Dad? Did you know,

some of these drilling rigs can be over 100 feet high?

It'd be like waking up with Blackpool Tower in your back garden.

CHUCKLES What's so funny?

I just can't get used to you as an eco-warrior.

You don't have to live up a tree and call yourself Swampy

to know this is a bad idea.

Yeah, but when they wanted to start fracking in the Dales,

you were all in favour of it.

In fact, you said, "Why don't they build a motorway through it,

"so we can get to Kendal quicker?"

That's different. This is an Area of Outstanding Natural Beauty.

So are the Dales.

They're all right if you like that sort of thing.

Bob and Angela moved there, absolutely hated it.

Moving somewhere and hating it, imagine that.

Look at this, our online petition has reached 50,000 signatures.

Ooh.

Every little helps. SIGHS

Talking of which, I'm gonna post these leaflets around the village.

Good luck with Grizzo.

We don't need Grizzo, do we,

now we've got Matt and his singing munchkins?

If you all hate fracking Clap your hands

I'm not doing it. Come on.

If you all hate fracking Clap your hands...

No, I feel sick.

?10. Yeah, but this is different.

If it goes in the window, it's ?10. Yeah, but...

If it's not paid for, Gareth will take it down.

Well, can't Gareth make an exception?

Why don't you ask him?

Gareth!

I've got some leaflets here about the anti-fracking campaign.

Can I just put one in the window?

I know you normally charge,

but seeing as it's something that helps the whole village,

would you mind making an exception?

He must've gone out.

Right.

You can leave some on the counter, if you like.

Thanks.

CAROUSEL MUSIC

Ha-ha! Whoa!

All right, Grizzo. Hello, Steve!

CACKLES

Can I...?

What it is... Sorry, mate, I can't hear you.

Whoo! Just wanted to talk to you about...

Speak up!

Yes, see, I wanted to talk to you about our anti-fracking campaign.

Eh? Can you...? We're trying to...

Any chance you can stop this? What's that?

Can you stop the carousel? That is a very good question.

Oh, hello, Alice. Oh, it's you, thank goodness.

What's the matter? My budgie's gone missing.

Oh, right. I was changing his water,

and I thought, "Oh, I've got a bit of apricot in the fridge."

Bobby loves apricot. Does he?

I should never have left the cage door open.

All right, I'll come and have a look.

Oh, would you really, dear? That's ever so kind of you.

He'll be somewhere in the house. I don't think so.

I left the window open as well.

CAROUSEL MUSIC

Ugh. Are you OK?

Yeah, fine. It's faster than it looks.

Anyway, yeah, so it's his idea,

he said I needed to get in touch with my inner child.

Your therapist told you to buy a carousel?

Yeah! Not in so many words, but...

Pretty sure that's what he meant.

Anyway, what have you been up to?

Well, that's what I've come to talk to you about, Grizzo.

Do you know what fracking is?

Hydraulic fracturing to release shale gas from the substrata?

Yeah, that.

Bobby! Bobby!

WHISTLES

Bobby!

There's no sign of him, Alice.

He's probably up in that tree. I'll just climb up and have a look.

No, Alice, don't. I think I'd better do that.

Oh, well, if you insist.

No, count me in, Steve. I'll set you up a gig.

Oh, great. They'll all be up for it.

Stormzy, Rita Ora, Rag'n'Bone Man.

Not Ed Sheeran. Why not?

We had a bit of a falling out. Oh, no.

He reckoned Mike Tyson could beat a tiger in a fight,

and I wasn't having it. Haven't seen him since.

I mean, a tiger! Yeah, come on, Ed, think about it.

Exactly.

Anyway, don't you worry about it, Steve, I'm on it.

Fantastic. Sure you don't want a go?

Maybe another time.

Wish I knew how to stop it.

Ow!

There's no sign of him, Alice. Have you tried the apricot?

He's not here. He likes a bit of apricot.

Well, not that much, obviously.

Oh, while you're up there,

you couldn't pick some of those apples for me, could you?

If you wouldn't mind.

By the way, you dropped something.

SIGHS

There you go. Thank you.

Just hot water. You sure you don't want a teabag in it?

No, this is perfect.

Mmm. Yum.

So, how did the leafleting go?

Yeah, they're all over the village.

This campaign's really taking off. How did you get on with Grizzo?

Yeah, he's totally up for it.

He's already planning a fundraising gig.

Says he's gonna ask all his mates. Stormzy, Rita Ora, Rag'n'Bone Man.

What about Alfie Boe?

I don't think Grizzo knows Alfie Boe.

Oh, that's a pity.

Anyway, great work, you two.

You've been a real asset to the campaign.

Hear, hear.

Although, of course, you've got more at stake than most people.

How do you mean? The compulsory purchase order.

Sorry?

If the fracking goes ahead,

this house is subject to a compulsory purchase order.Oh.

Oh, no. Crikey.

It's all in the proposals. Haven't you read the small print?

They'd...purchase our house? What, for the market value?

And the rest. You won't get any say in the matter.

They'll just buy it from you.

It's typical of these big corporations.

"Here's a great big bag of cash, now go and live somewhere else."

I mean, it would solve all our problems.

Too bloody right, it would.

They seriously pay the going rate?

Whatever it takes, according to this.

If they want the land, they buy it. What do they do with our house?

As long as they buy it, they can fill it with dynamite

and blast it into the North Sea. I'll press the plunger myself.

We can't admit we're in favour of fracking, though.

No, of course not. We keep that bit to ourselves.

What, still be part of the anti-fracking campaign?

Officially, yes.

OK. Well, I'll just deliver these leaflets, then.

Nice work. You better crash that website of yours.

Already done it.

APPLAUSE

Now, I'm very pleased to say we have with us -

and you've seen her on the television -

from North Yorkshire Tonight, Yasmin Lewis.

APPLAUSE

Thank you.

Well, you've left me in no doubt as to the strength of feeling here.

And we are going to be doing a special feature on fracking

in next Friday's show. ALL MURMUR

So, in the interest of balance, I do have to ask,

is there anyone here who's in favour of it?

I rather thought that might be the case.

Well, if there is anybody who supports fracking

but perhaps doesn't feel comfortable saying so in public,

if you could just make yourself known to me afterwards?

Thank you, Yasmin. APPLAUSE

Right, next item on the agenda - has anyone seen a missing budgie?

I really think we can win this one,

especially now we've got the media on board.

It's amazing what can be achieved if we stick together.

Totally. Yeah.

By the way, your website seems to be down.

Is it? Yeah, I think I know what that'll be,

it'll be sheer volume of traffic.

You should fix that, Steve. I will. I'll do that.

Actually, I must just pop to the loo.

All the excitement. Silas is like that.

SIGHS

You haven't seen this budgie, have you?

Yellow and green, likes apricot.

Yasmin, can I have a quick word?

Ba ba-ba ba-ba Ba-ba ba-ba

Ba ba-ba ba-ba Ba-ba ba-ba ba-ba ba-ba.

Won't everyone know it's you?

No, she's a proper journalist.

She's guaranteed me complete anonymity.

We'll do the interview, but they'll change my voice,

my face will be in shadow, no-one will know it's me.

No, they'll think you're a sex offender.

Oh, God, it's my dad.

We have a traitor in our midst. A traitor?

You know that reporter woman? Erm...

You mean the one at the...? That's her.

She was staying at the White Horse over in Barnthwaite,

had a couple too many, let slip that someone's approached her,

saying they're willing to do an interview in favour of the fracking.

Did she say who it is?

No. But whoever it is, they've let the whole village down.

It only needs one person to support it,

then the council can say local opinion is divided.

Next thing you know, they'll rubber stamp it

and collect their nice brown envelopes.

What's the matter with you?

I was just trying to think who it could be.

Couldn't be Matt, could it? No!

I don't think it could be Matt.

No, probably not.

Well, the lads at the Bowls Club were saying

if they find out who it is,

they'll fill his pockets with bowling balls

and take him for a swim in the old quarry.

Aren't they made of wood, though, bowling balls?

Wouldn't they float?

I mean, I take your point.

But they're not going to find out.

How can you be so sure? She gave me her word.

A journalist gave you their word. Well, that's all right, then (!)

Look, it's worth the risk. If I do this interview,

it could ruin the campaign, the fracking will go ahead,

they'll buy this house and we're out of here.

We just have to hold our nerve.

PHONE BEEPS Who's that?

It's Grizzo.

Oh, no. What's he done?

He's only gone and got Rita Ora to say yes to this fundraising gig.

Well, you did ask him to.

Well, they'll win now, stupid bloody yokels.

Standing in the way of progress.

And it's typical Grizzo - just when you want him to be unreliable!

GRIZZO LAUGHS

What am I gonna say to him?

Just get him to cancel it. Can't you do it?

No, you're the one that asked him in the first place.

It's just I think it would be better coming from you,

because you're more assertive.

Mm-hm, I am.

So YOU get out of the car and you go and talk to Grizzo.

All right. It's just that... Steve, you talk to Grizzo

and I'll go and get the leaflets back off Shannon.

That's if she hasn't eaten them.

Hi, Shannon. Have all those leaflets gone?

Yep.

BUDGIE TWEETS Oh, you've got a budgie.

Yeah. Where'd you get that from?

Gareth!

Where did Bronson get the budgie from?

GARETH: You what?

Where did Bronson get the budgie from?

He wouldn't say!

Look, I don't mean to be rude,

but I think Bronson might have stolen that budgie.

Eh?

I happen to know that someone has lost...

Oh, hello, dear. Alice!

I found Bobby, by the way.

Oh, you found him. Just after you left.

The poor little thing had flown into the bathroom.

I didn't think to look for him there.

He must've been terrified.

Oh, well, I'm glad you found him.

Sorry. What for?

Suggesting that Bronson might have stolen your budgie.

He probably did, just not from her. Right.

You wouldn't have something

to get bird muck off a shower curtain, would you?

I'm going to need quite a bit of it.

LOUD CAROUSEL MUSIC

It's good, innit? Yeah! Yeah.

You know, Grizzo, I've been thinking about this fundraising gig.

Oh, yeah, what about it?

I'm not sure your counsellor would approve.

How do you mean?

Well, it's a lot of work, organising a thing like this.

And I'm worried that you might lose touch with your inner child.

You reckon?

I think you're in danger of undoing all this hard work you've put in.

So maybe it'd be better for you if you just cancelled it.

What, cancelled the fundraising gig? I would.

Yeah, maybe you're right. Yeah, I'll cancel it.

Yeah. Yeah, to be honest, Rita didn't sound that up for it, anyway.

Right. Good.

So you just jump off this thing? Yeah!

CHUCKLES

Just watch out for the tree.

In fairness, he did warn me, just not in time.

So, poor Rita Ora, she'll never get to play Garthdale Village Hall.

She'll be gutted. Oh, no, it's the Teletubbies.

What do they want? Who's that with them?

Bloody hell, it's Barbara.

Shouldn't she be on a lead? There are sheep around.

You're sure you wouldn't like a cup of tea or coffee?

No, thank you. Or hot water?

I'll come straight to the point.

We've had a new security camera fitted at the village hall

on account of the burglaries.

Oh, yeah, the Scout tin. Did you catch him?

No, Steve. But it did catch somebody else.

Take a look at this.

It's you, isn't it?

You're the one who's gonna speak in favour of fracking.

Why are you a traitor?

Well, no, I... How could you, Steve?

We thought you were one of the good guys.

Well, what have you got to say for yourself?

We might as well tell them, Steve.

Steve's planning to sabotage the live television debate.

We knew that they wanted to speak to someone in favour of the fracking,

so Steve pretended to be in favour, so that they'd ask him on.

But in fact, he's gonna speak out against it.

Exactly. That was the plan.

So when it goes out live, they'll see that there is no debate,

that the whole village is united against the fracking.

And we'll win.

That...

..is brilliant.

Hmm. Fair enough.

Sorry I called you a traitor.

Are you?

You are a genius. They completely fell for it.

Yeah, I know. Steve, listen...

I don't even have to be anonymous any more.

I've been thinking. It's like I'm a double agent.

Steve, you can't do it. Can't what?

You can't go on telly and say you're in favour of fracking.

But I am. I want to.

But you're going against the whole village.

They'll hate us. They can do what they want.

We won't be in the village, we'll be back in Leeds,

where they've got buses and kebab shops

and cinemas that don't double as badminton courts.

We'll have hot water again, and a roof.

And cheaper electricity, thanks to fracking.

You can't let everyone down.

Yes, I can.

Well, I've got a message for them. We're not going to lie down.

You'll destroy this village over our dead bodies!

APPLAUSE

Well, we've heard from opponents of the fracking scheme,

but now we're going to hear from someone who takes a different view.

Or so she thinks.

Steve Rawlings, you're in favour of the proposals.

Could you explain why?

Well, Yasmin, I know fracking has a bad reputation...

Get off! Rubbish!

..but let's look at the facts.

How dare you, Steve?

Shale gas is one of the cleaner sources of energy.

It's a natural resource

and we're lucky to have it in huge quantities right here.

He is gonna speak out against the fracking, isn't he?

I hope so, Dad.

If this proposal goes ahead, it'll mean cheaper energy,

it'll bring jobs to the area.

Do we really want to stand in the way

of an opportunity like this?

And...and the answer to that is...

CROWD GRUMBLE

..is yes.

CROWD QUIETEN

Yes, we do want to stand in the way of it,

because it comes at too high a price...

MURMURS OF APPROVAL

..to the environment and to the community,

both of which will be utterly devastated

if this fracking goes ahead!

APPLAUSE

I mean, for centuries, people have worked this land,

and in return, it has supported our livestock

and put food on our table.

ROUSING MUSIC

This land is our land!

And it's our duty to preserve it for our children

and for our children's children!

And that is why I say no to fracking in Garthdale.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Well done, Steve.

I honestly couldn't have done it better myself.

I just did what I had to do.

And just as well. I were about to throw my glass of water over you.

Hey, I've been talking to that Yasmin -

looks like you've really put the wind up the council.

They just issued a statement

saying they're 100% opposed to any fracking going ahead.

SILAS AND PIPS CHEER Let's have a toast.

To no fracking in Garthdale!

ALL: No fracking in Garthdale.

And to Nicky and Steve living here...forever.

ALL: Hooray!

Forever.

CRUNCHES CRISPS LOUDLY

Ba-ba ba-ba

When the world In which you're living

Gets a bit too much to bear

And you need someone to lean on

When you look There's no-one there

You're gonna find me Ba-ba ba-ba

Out in the country Ba-ba ba-ba

You're gonna find me Ba-ba ba-ba

Way out in the country Ba-ba-ba.

SHEEP BLEATS

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0