Original subtitles

Which will it be, as God in heaven says...

Two hearts in balance! Kujibiki Unbalance!

Love, dreams, yearning, don't let them stop.

The dazzling sun through the trees sparkles and dances in your eyes.

I want to gaze at you beside me always.

Do you remember? Our childhood promise.

Two hearts in balance! Kujibiki Unbalance!

Come on, predict where we'll be tomorrow.

It's just so-so, balance! Kujibiki Unbalance!

Love, dreams, yearning, don't let them stop.

Umeya

Umeya's food has gone downhill. Umeya

Umeya

Really? Umeya

Twenty-First Lot: Recap Episode

I think it tastes the same. Twenty-First Lot: Recap Episode

Twenty-First Lot: Recap Episode

For a gourmand... Twenty-First Lot: Recap Episode

Twenty-First Lot: Recap Episode

...you sure are taste-deaf, Tokino. Twenty-First Lot: Recap Episode

You think so?

I don't think so.

You use too much red pepper, too.

But the duck noodle soup here has a weak flavor.

It's strong enough.

You even drink the duck broth in one gulp without any soba.

You should be careful.

You might be fine now, but when you get older your kidneys and whatnot...

...oh yeah, do you use low-sodium soy sauce or anything at home?

I don't know what that is.

How could you not know?

That's our nutrition expert Komaki for you.

Oh well, wouldn't it be creepy...

...if Tokino started worrying about all kinds of nutrition?

Besides, it's boring.

I can't wait for the next shinsoba.

More importantly, are you hungry?

Of course I'm not! We just ate.

Don't jump on everything she says. She's lost it.

Tokino's never had it to begin with!

When they get like this, it's like all the battles...

...we've gone through never happened.

But that's one of the things I like about them.

Izumi!

Yeah!

Passing to you, Komaki!

Hey! Our counter's not going up at all.

That's strange...

Isn't this too obscure?

Viva! Mushrooms

I say we do this. Viva! Mushrooms

Thirty minutes remain.

We're out of time.

Chihiro, you're into computers.

I'll bet you know what kind of homepage draws in the most people.

Well, yes I do.

Then tell us!

We can make a homepage based on that theory!

But I don't think you'll...

This is no time to argue about it!

What? I'm not doing that!

Chihiro! What's gotten into you?

That's why I didn't want to tell you...

Fifteen minutes remain.

We've got no choice.

Huh? We've got no choice.

Their site's lame-o!

We're about to demolish them!

WTF!

One minute remains!

Need more material PLSKTHX!

The tried and true breast bounce!

Hey! Have some modesty!

Come on, Komaki, you bounce too!

Stop that!

Time's up!

We have a winner!

We're FUBAR!

No! If even one of us leaves we'll be eliminated.

I can't go on.

I'm sorry I'm gutless, but this is my limit.

Tokino!

Outside, outside, outside, outside.

Just hold out a little longer!

The heat must be getting to our opponents too.

Let's talk about something, to take our minds off the heat.

That won't work!

Listen, a long time ago there was a group of four people suffering like us.

Well, not from heat but from cold.

They were caught in a winter storm while mountain climbing...

...came across a hut, and had to get through the night in the cold.

They had no heat whatsoever...

...and since they'd freeze to death if they fell asleep...

...the four decided to keep moving to fight off drowsiness.

First they each stood in one corner of the hut...

...then the first person would go to the next corner and touch the person there.

The person who was touched would go to the next corner...

...and touch that person, and that person would go to the next corner.

They continued doing this until morning.

The next day the four were safely recovered by the rescue party.

Later on when they told their other friends about this...

...they were told it was strange.

"If four people stand in four corners and one of them moves...

...there shouldn't be anyone left in that corner."

I don't get it.

Then let's actually try it.

Go.

Go.

Go.

Huh?

You see, this game just doesn't work...

...without a fifth person.

Scary story, part 2.

No, that's enough!

I'm actually not too good with scary stories.

In the house's entryway there was a single red crayon...

...that'd been bought secondhand...

T-That's enough! We're plenty cold now!

Part 3.

No!

First hot and now cold?

Screw this!

We couldn't last in that cold.

Lucky for us the other guys were sumos.

Whoever thought that would happen?

I never thought their bodies were that desensitized.

No wonder they broke the freezer.

Why are there seven of them?

Don't units always have four people?

Numerical coincidences happen from time to time.

Doesn't that make this team invalid?

The Kujibiki, in its sacredness, esteems contingency.

Once a decision is made it cannot be overturned.

The restoration of the hard-liners rests with this battle!

We shall put an end to this abominable age of infectious weakness!

Sir, yes, sir!

Kobayakawa!

What the hell is that?

A n-necklace, Sir.

Simpleton!

You call yourself a son of Japan with this effeminate thing on your person?

Sir, I apologize!

Commence combat!

Get down!

Ah crap!

I hate war games!

Komaki! Chihiro!

Yes ma'am!

Splitting up here is dangerous.

Tokino?

Wild mushrooms set my heart ablaze.

Tokino!

If our leader's shot, it's game over!

Komaki!

Tokino!

Kobayakawa, this is a once in a lifetime chance for us, the hard-liners...

...to prove ourselves to the world.

Pick up the pace, you slacker.

Target at two o'clock.

Yes sir!

Yay! Hello, porcini!

Tokino Akiyama spotted!

Shall I attack?

Wait, a fool like you would never hit her at that range.

Encircle her, then attack all at once!

Do not botch this!

Prove to me that even you disgraces to the...

...hard-liner name can do the job when it counts!

You boneheaded maggots!

I've had it!

Kobayakawa!

I've had enough of the hard-liners!

I can't sacrifice individuality just for some stupid ideal!

I quit the hard-liners!

I'II, I'II...

I'll live for love!

Tokino, please forgive me for confessing in a place like this.

I've always loved you.

Kobayakawa! How dare you...

Thank you.

I've always loved someone too.

Me too, actually.

And me.

I-I've always...

...loved you...

Please go out with me!

President Ishida!

Kobayakawa and the other three have defected to Akiyama's side.

We no longer have numerical superiority!

I will detain them so you can somehow escape.

By your leave!

It seems that this is it...

And hard-liner restoration is an unfulfilled dream...

But we lost to this modern age, not Tokino Akiyama...

Ukita.

Yes sir.

Huh? They really shot each other?

No way, these are BBs.

They have to exaggerate everything...

Just kidding!

Ratings Robot

Now singing, Tokino Akiyama.

Let's Go Where the Wind Leads, lyrics and music by Sumiko Yamagata

Don't you lose, Tokino!

Let's go where the wind leads.

When sad times come...

...and love turns bitter.

Let's go where the wind leads.

Run away, run away! Let's go where the wind leads.

No one can break down the love...

...you and I've built up together...

Don't die on me! ...you and I've built up together...

...you and I've built up together...

No one can.

They're awesome.

I heard they both scored over 1300 on an IQ test.

They're the ultimate in both looks and brains.

They can lift 670kg, more than two times a Matsuzaka cow.

They have good luck too, I hear they've never lost at rock-paper-scissors.

There's not a single shortcoming to be found.

I can't help but admire them.

Rumor has it they're from somewhere far, far away.

Exactly how far?

Some planet outside our solar system with an advanced civilization.

The broiling tropical planet Eldo.

They're aliens?

Ohh, I wish I'd been born on that planet.

I don't think so.

I mean the women are awesome, but the men...

Those miserable things are from the same planet?

No way!

On Eldo all the men look like that, but even so he's considered attractive.

Yuck, I don't need a boyfriend like that.

I think his name's Josef K.

His IQ is 5, and he can lift 21 kg.

So how should we fight them?

They said we could set the match up any way we like.

What a nerve!

What will we do? I like karaoke.

No!

Huh?

I thought I just saw three of them...

"Population 990 billion...

...and yet the living environment is far better than Earth's."

Don't they have mushrooms?

Doesn't look like it.

Oh, excuse me.

Oh, excuse me.

Do aliens use the bathroom a lot?

"When visiting the planet Eldo...

...women especially should beware of constipation."

Say what?

I've got it! Say what?

I found the aliens' weakness!

There are actually three female aliens!

But there's always two of them...

They look the same so we didn't notice, but they constantly swap places.

Why do they do that?

Because they use the bathroom a lot, one of them is always in there.

The average time between one of them going is 4 minutes 53 seconds.

In other words, their weakness is...

They've always got to go.

We will now begin the 400-meter team relay match.

Buy us some time.

You bet.

On your marks.

Get set.

I'm sorry, I slipped up.

On your marks.

Get set.

I'm sorry, that time I jumped the gun.

Geez.

You're kidding me.

I'm getting swept away!

Get set.

For as long as I can remember, I've never lost at mahjong...

Except just once, to Kuitan Panther...

Of all people, he had to be my opponent in this important match...

And my partner's mahjong newbie Tokino.

Wow, so you line up three, and two are one.

Begin!

I got a ron.

"Chiho." We have a winner.

Solaris zardoz potemkin!

Damien!

Piece of cake, huh?

This dungeon's too intense for greenhorns.

When ya get ten stories underground...

...it's just swarmin' with freakin' tough monsters.

If ya don't whoop 'em, ya can't get the old magician's talisman.

Well, ye're better off just sittin' here and not gettin' whooped.

Remember that, and happy trails.

It's okay, we've got mobility on our side.

We can run from any encounters.

That's so passive.

You win by not fighting, it's a basic strategy.

Omen!

Carrie!

I'm so worn out.

Hey, is anyone hungry?

This isn't the time for that.

I'm hungry from running around.

We didn't bring any food.

Let's do delivery.

Does anyone have a cell?

I have a PHS.

Wow, you've got signal down here?

PHS's work well underground.

What're you ordering?

"Ganko ramen."

Don't you dare! The stink...

Hi, I'd like to order delivery.

Four garlic ganko ramens.

With a special helping of raw garlic.

I reckoned the ninth floor down would have a ton of tough-to-beat ones.

What say we heal up?

Hey, Maori.

What?

We forgot somethin' real important.

Like what?

The special rules this time dictate a four-member party.

We usually have a party of six, and this time we didn't bring a healer.

Say what?

My HP and MP are almost gone!

Ain't anybody got a cell?

Get someone to bring a healin' item!

Outta service area?

Here's your garlic ganko!

Yippee! This is great!

We can't go forward or back. What do we do now?

How should I know?

Well well, if it isn't the famous Miss Maori's party.

My my, I see that they've run out of both strength and magic power.

What a pity.

My three children were made a mockery of by all of you...

...so that you could level up.

I swore never to forget that day!

That was yummy.

I'll say.

What an aftertaste...

It's not so bad when we all eat it.

They're weak against garlic.

Sweet!

Old magician's room

Ahh, well done.

I award you this talisman.

Oh the stench!

I'm hungry for it again.

It's good, but no thanks.

The smell didn't go away for a week.

I went home and it made Koyuki cry.

We even earned a nickname.

The Garlic Sisters, even though I'm a guy.

It's because you're effeminate.

You think so?

Well, there's only two tournaments left.

Let's go, Garlic Sisters!

Miss President.

This place is off limits to outsiders.

Can't you hear me?

This place is...

If you tried anything further...

You'd kill me?

That sounds like fun.

I'll die.

You're no fun, girl.

Miss President...

Uh, are you unharmed?

I'm fine.

That was probably...

Pink - green - yellow - blue, shining cyalumes

Pink - green - yellow - blue, shining cyalumes

The glittering electron particles fly...

... on the oscilloscope at the speed of light.

Ahh, it'll come across.

Ahh, even from far away.

I won't forget how excited I was...

... the first time it gradually dawned on me!

When you hold your hands up and swing it...

... the lights of our hearts will become one.

So this was the big recap episode, huh?

Why weren't we in it at all, Yamada?

I'm sorry!

But the director said this kind of thing happens all the time.

I could care less what he thinks! What about next week?

Um, um, it looks like someone comes to see the President...

...and there's lots of fighting and hugging.

Why there's hugging when fighting?

Um, um, I don't know.

Incompetence!

A new character shows up next time.

Kujibiki Unbalance Twenty-second Lot, Pianissimo...

I'm not in it though. Watch it if you're bored.