Original subtitles

Hey, hey, little girl!

Stop!

Stop!

What do

you want, little one?

Your ass.

The new version.

My name is Sergeant Frank Dreben, Detective Lieutenant Police Squad,

a special division of the LAPD.

The day after the bank robbery started like any other, I woke up in my empty cop

apartment, stared at a picture of my deceased cop wife, and choked back cop tears.

A perfect morning tour, but I had no idea what this city had in store for me.

Hey!

Thanks, everyone.

What is this?

Don't cheer for him.

You two, my office now.

Thanks to you, I just spent two hours getting chewed out by the mayor.

Apparently, some of the bank robbers you put in

the ICU, they're lawyering out to sue the city.

That's ridiculous.

They're criminals.

It's the law.

Since when do cops have to follow the law?

Since forever.

Oh, yeah?

And who's gonna arrest me?

Are there cops?

Yes.

Is he serious?

Is he serious?

No.

Let me be crystal clear.

They are threatening to shut down Police Squad because of you.

Honestly, you're lucky you still work here after last year's McDonald's incident.

They wouldn't sell me Freedom Fries.

You arrested the entire staff.

I wasn't thinking clearly.

I was furious about the Janet Jackson Super Bowl.

That was 20 years ago.

Not to me.

We had her said she's.

You're right.

Good.

Because I'm taking you off the bank job.

What?

I'm putting you on collisions.

There's a crash up in Malibu.

Yes, ma'am.

Thank you.

And make sure your body cams are actually turned on.

Got it.

Camera will be on.

Drebin, it's a new day at Police Squad.

Ah, you just change things so fast around here.

I guess you really can't fight City Hall.

You know, it's a building.

Now, there's a real man.

They just don't make him like your pops anymore.

I'm glad he's not around to see what Police Squad has come to.

Mind if I take a minute, Ed?

Of course.

Hi, Danny.

It's me, Frank Jr. I want to be just like you, but at the

same time, it can be completely different and original.

So, if you're proud of me, give me a sign.

Maybe make me see an owl or something.

Hey, Dad.

It's me, Ed.

Who do I miss you?

Ed and I pulled up to the Malibu car crash around 2 p.m.

Nothing unusual, but in the city, usual is unusual.

Usually.

So, how was your day last night, Frank?

I couldn't cut through it a bit.

Did you cancel?

No.

I didn't want to upset her, so I had Officer Barnes tell her I was stacked to death.

Oh, you're a real romantic, Frank.

Whatever will need someone, even a widower like you.

I'm just not ready to open myself to love again.

I had them wait to clear the wreck so you could get eyes on it.

The crash happened around 4 a.m.

Oh, there were no skid marks on the road.

We didn't hit the brakes before going over.

Road?

A little.

Just enough to wake me up.

Fancy car.

That's one of those new Eden-packed electricals.

Electric, huh?

I remember when the only things that were electric

were eels, chairs, and Catherine Zeta-Jones in Chicago.

Empty pill bottles.

Who was he?

Simon Davenport, 53 years old, no wife, no kids.

He's got a sister out in the Hancock Park, but we don't

really know anything about it other than her name.

Beth Davenport, divorced, 5'6", 130 pounds.

Spitfire of a personality, self-proclaimed chocolate.

Like outdoorsy things, but it's just as happy curling up with a good look.

All right, I've seen enough.

The market is suicide.

Go ahead!

Lieutenant?

What's up, Blonds?

Look, I know you're off the bank job, sir, but I could really use your advice.

Go for it.

Look, it's the strangest thing.

All the P's had never met each other, and

none of them knew who they were working for.

Brilliant.

If they don't know anything, they can't squeal.

Whoever orchestrated this is very smart.

And get this, the robbers were told that they could keep the cash.

Who organizes a bank robbery and doesn't keep the cash?

They must have been after something else.

Why don't you bring in one of the performers?

See if we can get them talking.

Got it.

Thank you.

What's up, Frank?

Got a business.

I told her to wait outside, and she just walked in.

You want me to get rid of her?

No, that's okay.

I'll deal with it.

Oh.

Over here, Lieutenant.

That's going off, love, after my wife died.

But this woman was put together in all the right ways.

Pace, head, shoulders, knees and toes.

Knees and toes.

At a bottom that would make any toilet big for the brown.

Sorry to keep you waiting now.

I may help you.

You're wrong about Simon Davenport.

It wouldn't commit suicide.

Simon Davenport.

The stiff from the Malibu crash.

That stiff was my brother.

Oh, I mean, he wasn't that stiff, really.

Not yet.

Or flatly imploded.

No, I mean, I'm so sorry for your loss.

Please, take a chair.

No, thank you.

I have plenty of chairs at home.

Now, Mrs. Davenport.

Miss.

Beth.

Davenport.

Mr. Dremen.

Miss.

Detective.

Frank Dremen.

Detective.

I think someone murdered Simon.

Really?

What makes you think that?

Well, he called me last night.

He said he was in some kind of trouble.

Someone made plans to meet this morning.

Does that sound like someone is planning to kill themselves?

No, it certainly does not.

Why would someone do that to you?

Trust me.

There's always a reason to kill someone.

Did he have an obnoxious laugh?

No.

Forgive me.

I just saw myself.

That's okay.

I'm not you either.

Tell me, what did your brother do for work?

Computers.

He was a programmer for Richard Kane.

A genius who's going to save the world with his electric cars.

Well, he's the first person we should talk to.

I need to check Simon's driving records and see if they match.

Oh, slow down there.

Excuse me?

Let's just leave the police for it to me, okay?

Oh, I see.

Same old story with guys like you.

Guys like me?

Stubborn old men who think they know what's best.

I understand you're upset, but this is what I do.

If someone did, I'll find them.

Well, I appreciate that, Detective.

But Simon was all I had.

Don't forgive me if I don't just sit around and hope you do your job.

That's exactly what I expect you to do.

When I have something, I'll contact you.

I'm doing a series of book readings this week.

You can find me there.

Book readings?

Yes.

I write true crime novels based on fictional stories that I make up.

Yes.

Well, you may write about it, but I live it.

Now, if you'll excuse me, we're having a birthday

party and I'm the best singer in the office.

On second thought, I will take that chair.

I couldn't remember the last time someone had talked to me like that.

It was the kind of dressing down you usually have

to pay for in the basement of a laundromat, which...

He had the kind of hips he wanted to put a hula hoop on and spin.

The kind of...

Fellas, do you mind?

I wasn't convinced Simon Davenport had been murdered.

But the case was starting to give me an H.

When I start to scratch, I don't stop till I

break skin and the doctor makes me wear mittens.

Max.

Go check.

Champagne.

Richard Kane had made his first fortune in microprocessors, then used it to build a

vast online retail marketplace and green technology empire.

Then, suddenly, the bear charges towards me.

I ready my knife and he barrels right past me to a honey hive about the campsite.

It had been there all along and I hadn't seen it.

Ah, it arrived.

Lieutenant Trevor, can you tell me who Richard Kane is?

Please, welcome me.

So, what can you tell me about Mr. Davenport?

Simon was a brilliant engineer and one of our best.

I had no idea he was so terribly depressed.

Suicide, drip, I mean, possible suicide.

I suspect he was found.

No, the chicken probably couldn't do this.

But I'm not ruling anything out.

I see.

Was this one of the projects Simon was working on?

I know.

What you see here is a red light therapy machine, proven to increase testosterone.

Did you know that men's sperm count is at historic lows across the board?

Fascinating.

I've never put my sperm across the board.

I have an old Don Juvie t-shirt for that.

You know, I hope you don't think it's awkward in my say of this, but I'm

actually a big fan of you.

Is that so?

Yes.

I read about your work at the bank while I breathe.

Guys like you or I breathe.

Guys like me?

Yes.

Met of action.

Don't ask permission to fix what they know is broken.

I'm surprised to hear you say that.

Coming from some others, sell into these gadgets.

Oh, you don't enjoy the marvel of the modern age?

No offense.

But the world was better before.

I agree.

I don't tell anyone.

Siddhar, what's it to me?

No.

Would you like one?

Smoking indoors?

Care to write me a ticket?

That matchbook.

I've seen it before.

The Bengal.

It's a summer club I own for some of the city's elite.

It's the kind of place where men can be themselves, have a few drinks,

and like the Black Eyed Bees once said, get retarded in here.

You can still say that, Gord?

In my club you can.

While I love the Black Eyed Bees, who doesn't?

I know a few people.

They're fools, I know.

Well, I am.

Apple, tea, app, taboo.

Don't forget Fergie.

I would never forget Fergie.

The Duchess.

Well, if you need anything, please don't hesitate to call.

Thank you.

I'll be in touch.

It's that way, of course.

Why don't we get Mr. Drebin a little gift for tomorrow?

The Eden Vox One.

Police squad's first ever fully automated self-driving electric vehicle.

A gift we just received from Richard King.

He must have made some kind of impression last night, Frank.

Yeah, it would seem so.

Coffee?

Yes, thank you.

Don't be shy, fellas.

Come check it out.

Smoke.

All electric, zero to 60 in 3.1 seconds.

I guess that's good.

Watch this.

Car, open doors.

Need tricks.

Now you try.

Car, please, close doors.

Pretty fun, I guess.

Okay, how about this?

Car, drive forward 30 feet.

Pretty smooth, huh?

I tell ya, this place is falling apart.

I got half a dozen witnesses that place you on the scene.

We know you were at the bank.

I'm telling you, I wasn't there.

Thanks, partner.

This is, uh, quite the rap sheet you've got here.

Says you served 20 years for man's laughter.

Must have been quite the joke.

You mean manslaughter?

Well, you know your boss didn't want cash.

So what was the point of the robbery?

What did he want?

I wasn't there.

You think you're so smart.

Well, I think my body cam might tell a different story.

And?

Technology really is something.

At least why it was all about transparency these days.

This bag's first says driven, 10-7.

Oh, yeah, chili cold.

Breakfast of champions.

And a little black coffee.

Okay, you can fast forward a bit.

Why some sort of registration, please?

I don't know.

This isn't mine.

Excuse me.

Good boy.

Listen, uh, you seem like a decent fella.

I'm going to let you off with the warning.

Have a great day.

Bye.

It's much later in the day.

Fast forward a while.

You'll see.

Just wait.

Oh, he needs a background.

Oh, God.

Come on.

Oh, oh, no.

Focus right.

Focus.

You got this.

You got this.

Oh, me.

Maybe a little more.

I'm going to ruin another suit.

Sorry.

Three percent.

Uh, they're the line, man.

What are you doing?

You're a disgusting, you stupid idiot.

You breastfed until you were 13, you freak.

Can't get it up without the stench of milk on your chin.

Don't you dare.

Don't do it.

Don't eat it.

Oh, God.

I had five more that day.

Still better, Frank?

You better believe it.

Yes.

That's you inside the bank.

We missed it.

Okay, fine.

Whoever we was working for, they was crazy.

I mean, they just wanted us to get some safe deposit box.

Safe deposit box.

Yeah.

Lux 595.

Ed, check the list.

You're not going to believe this one, Frank.

Simon Davenport.

So you're saying these two cases are one case.

Gentlemen, when you joined me to launch Eden Tech, it was with one goal.

To save the world.

Together, we've created technologies to rival the gods.

Has the world gotten any better?

No.

It's only gotten worse.

Now, when the founding fathers created this country,

they sat in a room like this, filled with men like us.

And birthed an empire.

The USA.

Yes, that's right.

But as years went by, other people wouldn't get into that room.

Fish people.

What?

Fish people.

Gills on their necks.

I don't know.

Like mermen and merwomen.

Mermaids.

Right.

No, stop.

Not fish people, ungrateful people.

People that did not earn their seat at the table.

People not built like the men in this room.

Crab hatch.

They had crab hands instead of fingers.

Stop.

I know what I mean.

So just let me do the job.

This is a crab hand.

I've met him.

Put the phone away.

Now, it's time for us to admit that the path we're on is not working.

The system's broken.

What does one do when the system is malfunctioning?

One plug it.

And then... you plug it in again.

I call it the primordial law of toughness device.

Let me show you what it's capable of.

Last year, we set up cameras at the local community

center and decided to run a little experiment.

The question, what would happen to modern humans if we

reverted their psyche to an original state of nature?

When activated, the device is in all your frequency

that reduces the brain to its animalistic core.

In this case, the frequency was limited.

But next time, it will spread to every smart

device until the entire world is infected.

As for us, upon that nation, we will decal to one of my super bunkers around the

world where there will be food, water, and the

best live entertainment the world has to offer.

What's up, evil billionaires?

I am so excited to be doing live shows for as long as it takes in the new San Diego

bunker room, what he did in block four of the Arizona district.

See you there!

Armish paradise.

And when the emperors have died down, any

survivors left will earn their place alongside us.

We will return to a world that has been a blank slate upon

which we can rebuild as the founding fathers of an union.

Just a minute, lady, this new year's eve.

I give you Project Inferno.

It turned out that Kane's nightclub was only

half a mile from where Simon Davenport crashed.

And that got me thinking, maybe he had been there the night he died.

So I hopped into my new electric cruiser and told him to head to Malibu.

Please take the wheel.

Warning, please take the wheel.

Please take the wheel.

No, no, please.

He's out of the way.

What's wrong with you people?

What is this city coming to?

What can I get you?

I was wondering if you could help me.

I'm looking for a friend who hasn't been there before.

No, I haven't seen him.

You hardly looked at him.

I saw enough.

You don't remember me, do you?

Should I?

My brother, you shot him in the name of justice.

That could literally be thousands of people.

You shot him in the back as he ran away.

Hundreds.

Unarmed.

At least 50.

He was white.

So you're Tony Reulan's brother.

That's right.

How is old Tony?

Are you serious?

Bad.

Right.

So you're a friend.

Maybe I have seen him, and you haven't.

I can't remember.

You can't remember, huh?

No.

Well, maybe this one's the accurate memory.

Good.

That's better.

Remember now?

Yeah, I remember.

He sat in a quarter booth.

He had a drink.

That's all I know.

Where do they keep surveillance footage?

In the back.

And then I'm not allowed in there.

And there she was again.

I had to admit, she was beautiful.

She had a body that carried her head around, and a butt that seemed to say,

hello, I'm a talking butt.

Elegant?

Yeah, I'd say so.

But like a teenager with three babysitting

jobs, I didn't need another babysitting job.

Hello, Lieutenant.

What the hell are you doing here?

I'm doing the same thing you are.

I told you I wasn't going to sit around and wait.

Listen, this isn't one of your stories.

Average civilian women don't suddenly sell coinage.

Oh, you had my book.

What do you think?

I think it's a fantasy.

The woman puts on a wig and sunglasses, and suddenly she's an assassin.

But did you enjoy it?

It has some good parts.

Look at the driven.

You're Simon's sister.

Good, let's keep it that way.

You're a wonderful surprise.

Fine, thank you.

Beautiful place you've got here.

Can't smell the dead animals at all.

Thank you.

Uh, can I get you a drink?

It's just water, it's sparkling.

And who is the stunning creature?

I don't believe we've left.

Why not?

I don't believe that this is Miss, um...

Cherry... Roosevelt.

Fat bozo-chowing spaghetti.

What an interesting name.

Yes, thank you.

So, Montana, what brings you here?

I was hoping you could let me take a look at your security footage.

Well, may I ask why?

Go right ahead.

Unfortunately, I can't show your security footage.

Our members trust that we will provide them with the highest level of privacy.

I hope you understand.

I'm starving to them.

Well, thank you so much for the drink, it's getting late.

We really must be going so soon.

I hope you don't leave it to the spaghetti.

Yes, she's leaving too.

Early morning at Disneyland tomorrow.

She's one of those Disney adults.

Obsessed, really.

Her bed is covered in dolls.

Oh, the spaghetti, please stay for a drink.

You don't mind, do you?

You might guess.

Wonderful, I'll get a take.

Get the footage, I'll get multiplied.

Yeah, absolutely not.

Thank you.

Wow, this place is amazing.

Well, thank you.

Mr. Getty, I mean, I speak freely.

I prefer English.

You're much too sophisticated for the likes of Frank Brevin.

Oh, I'm not with Getty.

Oh, that's wonderful news.

Cheers.

For Bill Cosby's private estate.

So, tell me, what have you been working on lately?

Oh, we're just going to talk about work.

We're just going to talk about play.

Do you like jazz?

I like it.

I love it.

I love it.

Yes, sir.

Not now.

Not now.

Yes, sir.

This one's for my electric new friend, Richard Kane.

Wow.

That's frustrating indeed.

Make it extra lucky, boys.

I've always said fighting is a lot like jazz music.

A scat like improv, or one lets imagination take control of their body.

Oh.

I'm fine.

There's two things I love.

My stay-at-home girlfriend and gorilla nut and hands drink supplement from it.

Don't follow bad diets and fake workouts.

You want to get ripped?

All you need is muscle slime.

Rub it on and...

Oh, look at that.

Who are you, my secret eavesdropping friend?

W.S.

Riley, investigative journalist, LA Chronicle.

It seems Mr. Drebber might be more of a problem than we thought.

I want you to keep an eye on it.

Make sure it doesn't cause anything for distractions.

Yes, sir.

Davis, this better be good.

He did what?

Get me dressed in this instant.

Ma'am, I'm so sorry, but you have to listen to me.

There's something deeper going on here.

Shh.

You wake up my husband, I swear to God.

I'm sorry.

What the hell were you thinking, Drebber?

Richard Kane is a very powerful man.

And he makes a lot of empty donations to the

city, including the new car you're driving.

Richard Kane is dirty.

He's involved with his Simon Delenport murder.

And by the way, the bank job, too.

You're still working the bank job?

That's it.

You're suspended.

Suspended?

Shh.

The

gorilla doesn't accept his vertical integration, bitch.

Bill Conmore will leapfrog him for the third year in a row.

But Ronald trained Bill.

Exactly.

I've got no choice.

I'm putting you on ice two weeks, except if immediately.

Now, get out.

We're all rooting for you, Ronald.

Give a mail tomorrow.

Rough night.

Oh, it's here.

Now, tell me, what'd you see on the security footage?

Listen, I feel for you.

I really do.

But I had to beat up a lot of henchmen tonight.

And that was daughters.

Oh, come on.

You wouldn't have seen it if I didn't help you.

Help me.

That's rich.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm tired.

I'm hungry.

Good night, Miss Davenport.

What if we had a little dinner together?

I sure could go for a bite.

Slow down, Chef.

This turkey burns at 450.

How hot was that cookie?

About a thousand.

The turkey needs slow and low.

Unless you like your center pink.

No.

I love my center pink.

You're not worried the rare meat will ruin a good stuffing?

As long as you don't mind if I get salmonella.

Mind it.

I prefer it.

I like a sick little boy.

You're not gonna stop hounding me, are you?

Not for a second.

Excuse the mess.

I haven't had the heart to clean since my wife died.

My condolences.

How did she pass?

Great.

The D.R.

is easy.

Armed like a cannon.

And then she died.

So we'll never know if she could have gone pro.

She was the sweetest woman I've ever known.

She sounds like a saint.

Or maybe a bronco or a 49er.

We would have been happy with that meeting, really.

Anyone but the Browns.

It's quite a view you have.

You know, I've been drawn to the hills ever since I moved here for college.

You see how late?

I see it every day.

I live here.

I'm afraid I don't have much to offer.

However...

All that turkey talk outside got me in the Thanksgiving low.

I think I have a full turkey around here somewhere.

But my oven is filthy.

I like it.

I like a dirty bird.

You weren't lying.

This oven is disgusting.

It sure was fun to talk about a dirty bird.

But it would be unsanitary.

Hot fine is the most important part.

It sure is.

Oh, this is my buster.

He must have smelt what's going on.

Silly dog, that's not for you.

It's so strong.

Put that down.

How about some nice scratches instead?

See?

All the balls.

Yes.

Wow.

I don't like it.

Oh, you're hearing me.

Oh.

That's better.

This is crazy.

It's been a long time.

I'm afraid I may have forgotten how to kiss.

In

the rise, I see a paradise.

This world that I found is so clear to be true.

Standing here beside you, I want so much to give you this love in my heart.

And I'm thinking of you.

They'll say you were crazy.

I'm

so glad I found you.

I'm not gonna lose you.

After a relaxing weekend away with Beth, it was time to get back to the case.

So I called the LA Chronicle News Desk to follow up on Douglas O'Reilly,

who was informed that he hadn't made it into work.

So I headed to his apartment.

Douglas O'Reilly?

Lieutenant Frank Dremen here.

Police squad.

Hello?

Anyone home?

Hey, Douglas, I stepped in some kind of red liquid.

You got any paper towels?

I'm dragging it all over your place.

I picked up your knife for you.

Where do you want it?

First record saying your name and saying I did it.

Lieutenant Frank Dremen.

I did it.

Okay.

O 'Reilly, is that you?

O'Reilly!

And that's when it hit me.

Like an idiot's finished jigsaw puzzle, I was being framed.

I needed to clean the crime scene.

Nobody, no crime.

Hiding the body was no longer an option.

Freeze!

It's not what it looks like.

Let me get you in the spot!

What's up?

Carl, stop it.

I said stop.

Hello, Dremen.

Why never take the wheel?

Okay, what's going on?

I've taken control of the car.

It's a little trick I have when I want to fix mistakes.

So that's how Davenport died.

He didn't drive himself off a cliff.

You did.

Now you're getting somewhere detective.

Not before he spilled your secrets to that reporter.

So you went and killed him too.

I didn't kill him, Frank.

But you did.

You're the crazy cop who stabbed the reporter and then drove himself into the ocean.

The hell I am.

There's no escape, Dremen.

I'm just a little sad they won't be there to see

what I'm in store when the New Year's Eve balls drop.

Oh well.

Have a nice week.

Isilism.

Off the cliff.

There's a war now for your arrest.

But not even that you killed a reporter.

Say it isn't so.

You think so, Ed.

It's another thing, Frank.

The mayor got way to this whole mess and they're pulling our funding.

What?

Police waters shut down effective immediately.

This is all because of me.

I'll fix this.

Come here, Shaver Frank.

Lay low.

You got it.

Thank you, Ed.

As soon as I could, I called Beth to bring her the news.

It wasn't easy, but I hoped it would bring her some peace.

Thanks.

What the hell, man?

Oh, Frank.

Thank you.

Does your heart?

It's nothing.

It's so silly.

Come in.

This is all I could find.

I might sting a bit.

Go for it.

It's okay.

Keep going.

Okay.

King said he had something big in store tomorrow for New Year's Eve.

I'm willing to bet it's whatever Simon was trying to warn us about.

Well, you mean something big?

I don't know.

But people could be in danger.

I see.

Frank, I have a confession.

When my brother called me before he died, he

told me some things that I haven't told you.

To what?

He told me he was working on some kind of therapeutic device.

Someone to calm people down, but he was worried

now that someone could use it to do the opposite.

Calm people up?

He didn't say.

He just told me that if anything were to happen to him,

I needed to do whatever it took to stop the device.

Those were his last words to me.

So that's why you inserted yourself into my investigation.

Well, at first... And that's why you showed up at the Bangkok Club.

Yes.

And that's why you pretended to love me.

No, Frank.

No, how could you say that?

I can't believe I opened myself up to love again.

I wrote back a whole song about it.

I rented studio space.

Don't go, please.

Frank, please.

Look at me.

What is that?

What?

That.

That's my TiVo that I lent you yesterday, so that you could watch season one of

Buffy, so that you could start getting my references.

I know that, Frank.

And I specifically told you not to plug it into the internet.

Oh.

Oh?

That's an ethernet cord going from my TiVo directly

into your router, where the internet comes from.

I was just trying to plug it into the electricity.

And now they might be expired.

That means gone.

No musical special.

No Sander.

No Spike.

No Cordelia James.

No Daniel Osborne.

No Willow-meets-her-double-ganger episode.

Nothing.

Sorry, I didn't know they were someone... No, no, no, no.

Frank, I'm in the middle of an important conversation.

Where is it?

Just stand there.

They're gone.

It's okay, it's just the memory.

I'll get it.

Hello.

Yes, I've got them.

Okay, I'll be right there.

Ben did tuck through the bank footage and identified a man who slipped out the back,

who also happened to be Kane's head of security and right-hand man.

If anyone knew Kane's plan, it would be him.

We needed to get him along and put the squeeze on

him, but we had to do it in our own way off the books.

We're on our way now.

We're not my normal driver.

This isn't my normal car.

That's not my normal gas.

This isn't my normal valve course.

He's waking up.

Today isn't he?

January 2nd.

You've been here for three days.

Three days?

Did you turn that up, please?

That won't be necessary, nurse.

Hello, Mr. Gustavsson.

You surprised to see me.

Your little plan, it didn't work out.

We stopped it.

The good guys won.

Kane's in jail.

Here's the bad news for you.

He's singing.

You told us you killed Simon Davenport and that reporter.

We're told you might get the cheer for those.

You're mine.

I'm mine.

And tell me what really happened.

You're right.

Tough guy, huh?

You know what happens to big, pretty boys like you and Sam Quinn?

Ooh, they're gonna love you.

Are you talking about... Oh yeah, I've seen it a hundred times.

Massive cutie pie like you.

You'll be very mouthy.

Or stay in.

Probably have your mugshot go viral online.

A sexy tail bird.

Congrats, you're famous.

Okay.

Then one day, your new fan army finds a legal loophole.

And suddenly, you're free.

You're back on the street.

It's not bad.

Only now, you've got an image to evolve.

A sexy jailbird.

Sickle bite of carbs.

Hello, intermittent fasting.

You like ramen?

Well, it's all broth for you, baby.

Not to mention, there's a new sexy jailbird now.

And he's all about body positivity.

He's eating burgers on the prism of Instagram.

And you're starving to death, huh?

But your brand is skinny.

You can't change course now.

See, you decide to end it.

Bad.

A bullet in the head.

I wouldn't do that.

But you miss.

You only get the part of the brain that regulates farts.

Now you're a new name, farting guy.

Is that what you want?

To be farting guy, you know?

Come on, tell me farting guy.

You love it.

Tell me.

Stop it.

You love it.

It's all team's plan.

It wasn't my plan.

What was it?

I lost a frequency.

I would infect people's brains and turn them into savages.

And why was he going to do that?

At the WWFC fight.

Downtown, midnight.

Where was he going to put the device?

And who hears balls?

The balls.

Hey, where you going?

I'm on a lawyer, okay?

I'm sorry, don't be afraid.

I'm sorry.

Did you get all that?

Everywhere.

I don't know much time.

It's only 90 minutes to New Year's.

What was happening?

I was getting a confession like this to people.

Sometimes you get the job done, you have to break the law.

I do it all the time.

Did we get all that?

We got it.

Internal bears, you're under arrest for the illegal detainments of Sigustafsson.

No.

Ah, sir, you set me up.

Impressive.

I just want to thank you.

How are you able to build these sets so quickly?

I just told some city contractors that I've pulled our licenses if they didn't help us.

Did you get all that?

Loud and clear.

Victor Gutierrez, Department of Occupational Safety and Health,

Officer Barnes, you are under arrest.

Back to the sound, there is the horn signifying the end of Round 1.

This track is no-hopping, John.

What a very exciting stuff, but we are now thrilled to be joined in the broadcast

booth by one of the most vicious bare-knuckle brawlers from the first

season of WWFC, Dan the Bloody Widowmaker Daily.

Welcome, Dan.

It's weird.

I left my wife at home when she was wearing makeup since she didn't have any.

What do you think that's about?

I don't know.

Me neither.

And, of course, none of this will be possible without tonight's sponsor,

Eden-Tex Richard Kane.

The boys in the lab loaned me these special earplugs.

They plot digital frequency, so if that bomb does go off, we're protected.

Nice work.

Now, where's Kane?

Kane is in the skybox.

What about backup?

There is no backup.

What?

The one in for murder.

But Gustavsson confessed.

We killed worsted.

Haven't you ever heard of the Miranda rights?

I'm pretty sure it's Carrie that writes.

Miranda is a lawyer, Charlieson, our dealer, and Samantha is a whore.

What?

What is it?

I've been trying to call Beth for hours.

She's not picking up.

I just hope she's okay.

I won't scare enough of them!

This is the raven of the evening!

Now, is that... Yes?

Oh, please.

Can I help you?

Remember me?

Well, hello, Miss Cherry Roosevelt.

That bozo charming spaghetti.

I love your new look.

Thank you.

Please, join me.

Why did you cut the man up?

I took the balls.

Okay, Frank, comes working.

I'm in position.

We have 25 minutes.

Hey, one beer, please.

We're closed.

Come on, one beer's not gonna kill you.

One beer.

Get lost.

How about it?

It's free.

Just get the hell out of here.

Ed, can you hear me?

I can hear you, Frank.

Uh-oh.

I think one of Ken's goons is up there.

Frank, can you hear me?

Okay.

Somebody's up there, Frank.

A guy is up there, Frank!

Was that Apple?

Yeah, never mind.

James, if anyone moves in the back, I expect

you to fight pain, fight hard, fight good.

My detention in this arena is palpable.

The moment of truth is here, folks.

Scrape their voice now.

I bet she's with Gary.

Let me use your phone.

She won't know your number.

Hey, really?

Let's get it over with!

Now!

Let's go!

I've read any good books lately, Miss Spaghetti.

Or should I say Miss Davenport?

I especially like the part where the erudite housewife

transforms herself into a would-be assassin seeking revenge.

Hiding a gun in her guard bells.

And another in the small in her back.

And a shotgun in her beautiful red wig.

Where we

find something quite magnificent.

The main event

for the Imperial Court of the Kaiser himself.

Or maybe a loaf of uppercut.

I got it.

I got it.

Now, I get out.

Now, nothing to see here, folks.

Please, business.

Please, tell me how.

All right, buddy.

Time to go.

Now, listen to me, good.

My name is Frank Trevor.

The police squad.

This event is now over.

Everyone vacate for premises of easement.

Now!

Okay, playtime's over.

Give me the light.

Don't take another step, buddy.

That's it.

I heard you.

We don't want to hurt like crazy when you do it.

Wait, keep right.

The device has some lights on it.

Various holes.

The way's about two and a half chilly dogs.

It's got some sort of timer on it.

It's synced up to midnight.

Hello, detective.

Easy now.

What's happening?

The stuff right there.

Don't do it.

Make one more move.

And I'll blow its freaking computer brains all over this floor.

Think about it, Devin.

Everything I'm doing is for guys like us.

Guys like us?

Yes.

Oh, the righteous man.

I should give it down.

Come on, Frank.

You said it yourself.

The world was better before.

What have you done?

I don't want to hurt you.

This definition makes me laugh.

You see,

when you've done pain, it's not too late to stop this madness.

This isn't madness, Devin.

This is progress.

The needs of the few should never outweigh the needs of the many.

What's the time when you do that?

So let's come to this.

The culmination of our journey.

All this... this stuff that's taking place between you and me.

This, uh... Thanks, David.

I got it from you.

I'm so sorry.

I messed up the lines a little bit.

No problem.

See you Sunday?

See you Sunday.

Okay, Kate.

Please don't!

Get off me!

Stop!

Anyway, look at us.

Isn't this beautiful?

Exactly as nature intended.

Two great Kodiak bears facing one another in an epic battle predominance.

If it's a fight you want, very well.

You hit my belly!

You hit the soft part of my belly!

What the hell?!

Have you ever actually been in a fight before?

Yeah, I have!

Oh my God, I think I'm gonna bark.

Is that normal?

You wanna keep fighting?

What?!

No!

My tummy still hurts a lot!

Well then, Kate, I'm gonna arrest you.

You can't arrest me.

You still didn't catch me.

There's nowhere to run.

I won't be running.

I'll be fine!

Why should I let him live?

It won't bring Simon back.

Do you know that for sure?

You're right.

Anything is possible.

But you have to let the justice system do its job.

That's rich coming from you.

The truth is, Beth, once you kill a man for revenge, there's no going back.

It stays with you forever, following you like a shadow.

A voice in your head sang over and over, man, that was awesome.

So put the gun down, if not for me and for us, for our future together.

I loved you, Beth.

Don't throw it all away for a few seconds of the

best feeling you would ever have in your life.

You've got the promotion.

Oh, fuck.

Not bad for us, Governor.

I guess old men really are the toughest, smartest,

most capable, sexiest beings on the planet.

Oh, Frank, you made me very happy.

Me too.