Original subtitles

I'll have the rib dinner.

One rib dinner.

Um, you're not gonna like this, but...

I don't have any money.

Honestly.

I believe you.

Well, don't worry. I'll pay you back.

Just think of it as a loan.

I don't loan ribbed dinners.

Well, there are other ways I could pay you back than with money.

There are?

Well, sure. I could help you with your work. I don't need help.

Well, why not? I could do everything and you could just relax.

I'm already relaxed.

You wouldn't call the police.

I wouldn't?

Well, there must be some other way I can pay you back.

Yeah, there is.

Oh, yeah, there's that.

Yeah, that.

I close at nine, cutie pie.

Well, I can't hang around that long, so it's now or never.

Then it's never. Look, I'm not going to let you take a lot. Meat is just too

expensive. It's okay. I'm a very, very charitable person. Well, our Holocaust.

The economy is falling apart. Inflation must be really cutting into your

profits. Oh, you're cutting into my profits.

Get out. Stay out.

Can we have an apartment for rent?

Don't you believe the sign?

No, I thought it was only a picture.

Oh. Maybe I better put the small wooden one in front to make sure.

Can I see it?

It's just a regular sign.

Can I see the apartment?

Oh.

Oh, sure.

These are the rules.

First to last month's rent must be paid in advance.

No nails or other foreign objects in the wall. No long -haired pets with claws

over 10 ounces. No stereos played louder than 30 decibels. No performances for

which admission is charged. Well, that covers just about everything in life

that's any fun.

And no sex acts which to the average person violate contemporary community

standards and have no redeeming artistic, scientific, or literary merit.

Forget it. I'll sleep on the beach.

Oh, you're going to give up so easily? Can't we negotiate?

What for? I like foreign objects in my walls. Well, we could work that out.

And I like my pets to be fat and hairy, and music's no good unless it's loud.

I've got to admit you're right.

Furthermore, my sex life is my business.

Hey, I agree with you 1 ,000%. Forget that rule.

Forget all the rules. One more thing. I won't pay any rent in advance.

That's one rule I can't forget.

Okay, where's the beach?

Hey, look, I'm only the manager. The landlord insists.

Don't you have any money?

No.

Can't you stay with some friends?

I don't know anyone. I just came into town this morning to look for work.

Well, if you like, you can stay with me.

Well, thanks.

Don't worry. Some sucker will come along and pay his first and last month's

rent.

Did you paint all these pictures?

Yeah, I paint them, but nobody buys them.

Hmm.

Then how do you eat?

I'm a sign painter.

Come on, I'll show you around and introduce you to Roger.

Who's he?

Roger? He's my model.

Sometimes he's a little shy, if you know what I mean.

Well, don't worry. I'll put him at ease.

Roger?

Yeah?

Roger, this is Honey.

Glad to meet you.

What's the matter? Haven't you ever seen a banana before?

I thought you said he was shy.

Yeah, but I didn't say he wasn't friendly.

Hey, she's kind of cute.

Are you awake?

Oh, it's you, Roger.

Guess what? I found a job.

I'm going to be a cocktail waitress.

Aren't you even going to congratulate me?

Roger!

Roger, you feel different.

You're not Roger.

Let go of me, you freak.

Who are you? Who are you? I live here.

Oh. I'm sorry if I scared you, but Denise said I could stay.

She did?

It doesn't happen every day, does it?

What doesn't?

Getting a job.

Was it hard to find?

No, it was the first place I tried.

Oh.

Did you have to work topless?

Of course not.

I was hired because of my qualifications.

Both of them?

Anyway, the money's good. I'll make enough to pay for my tuition.

You go to school?

Uh -huh, law school.

Well, I hope it's worth the effort. I'm through with school, and I can't find

work anywhere.

What do you do for money?

Money? What's that?

Well, how do you survive?

Some conniving, a little petty theft, a bit of blackmail.

Doesn't that ever bother you?

Well, it used to.

But once I didn't eat for two days, so I stole some food from this vending

machine. It put up a good fight.

Anyway, while I was eating, I started feeling guilty till my stomach growled

me.

What did your stomach say?

It said, shut up and eat.

Morning. Hi, did you fix yourself some breakfast?

No, I never eat breakfast.

But she didn't have any dinner either. Don't you ever eat?

I'm on a diet.

What, a starvation diet?

Which way is downtown?

That way.

Where are you going?

Job hunting.

Well, come on. I'll give you a ride. Thanks.

Some days I get lost in my fears.

Some days I can't smile through my tears.

Sometimes when I'm down on the day,

no one seems to care when I

say,

Nowhere to go, nowhere to turn.

What am I saying?

When will I learn?

Isn't it so?

Why can't it be?

Why can't I know that?

Why can't I show that?

It all depends on me.

Some days when I'm feeling down,

with all of my thoughts spinning round.

Sometimes when I'm on my own,

I'm fighting the world.

to turn but I've got to change it I've got

to learn I'm gonna show how

it's gonna be and once I know that

won't it be so that it all depends

on me

You have to beg.

Can't you find work?

Yeah, I can.

I have gigs now and then. But in between, I support myself playing in the

streets. Can't you find work?

What makes you think I don't work?

Nobody with a job hangs around here.

Oh.

Do you know how to do anything?

Sure I do. I have a degree in math.

And what's your problem?

I don't know. Wherever I go, there are too many applicants and not enough jobs.

I shouldn't be telling you this.

Why not?

Because you're a stranger.

Ah, but I'm a friendly stranger.

Maybe I can help you.

How?

Maybe I can think of something that you haven't.

Like what?

Like, um... Like, why don't you look for a new line of work? What do you think

of that?

I think it needs more salt.

Have a piece of celery.

Thanks. When's the last time you ate?

Yesterday.

Have a sandwich.

Thanks.

Where do you live?

Nowhere. I mean, I just got into Los Angeles.

I'm staying with someone, but I don't know her very well.

I can't take food from her, too.

Huh.

Well, good -bye.

Hey, wait.

Have you got any friends here?

Not yet.

Well, I'll be your friend if you want.

That's not what I want. It isn't.

I'll tell you what I want.

You want that?

I never would have thought you were the type.

Don't judge a book by its cover.

Well, big boy, your place or mine?

The owner of this bed.

Oh, have a nice bed.

I'm glad you like it.

Yeah, I sure do.

It's been broken in nicely.

Would you consider selling it?

Hey!

You're not wearing any clothes, are you?

No.

You're naked.

Yeah.

You know, you have a nice body.

I'm glad you enjoy it. Now, why don't you take off your clothes and let me

at your body?

You know, I'd like to paint you, just like this.

Now?

No.

No.

Not now.

I'm tired.

In what position?

I don't know. It's not important.

Sure it's important.

Position is everything in life.

And now, ladies

and gentlemen, the Tiger's Tale proudly presents Katya!

Hey, kid.

Well, you're doing all right, kid.

Thanks, Mr. Gruber. Call me Sidney.

But tell me, how do you like your job?

Very interesting.

You're bored, aren't you?

No, really. It's just... I know, I know. Look, I'm bored, too. It wasn't always

this way. We used to have customers.

Maybe it'll pick up.

There's no way.

It's all your fault.

Mine? No, you and your generation.

Drive up the coast a few miles to Crescent Cove and what do you see?

Hundreds of you laying around on the beach, stark naked.

Boy, I never thought I would see the day when naked people could prance around

in public.

Well, people are less ashamed of their bodies today.

Well, good for them.

Bad for me.

Who's going to pay to see Katya strip?

Where the whole family can have a nice picnic on the beach and watch the same

thing for nothing?

Yay!

Here, kid, take this back to Katya.

Yeah?

Sydney sent this to you.

Thanks. What's your name? Jill.

Sit down, Jill. You've been hustling real good out there tonight. I saw you.

Come on, sit. You won't catch a disease.

Have you ever thought of being a stripper?

Me? You?

No. You'd make a good one. You've got the looks.

But not the desire.

You could make a lot of money.

How much?

Well, I get $400 a week, but of course I'm a headliner. To start, you'd only

about $250.

That much for going bare -assed a few minutes at night?

There's no justice.

I could teach you a simple routine.

Kat, can I ask you something personal?

What do you want to know? The usual, like, why am I a stripper instead of a

social worker?

Well, yes.

The money. Why else?

What I really want to know is, how can you stand all those men looking at your

body? I don't even think about it anymore. When I perform, my mind is

else. Like tonight, I thought of a new way to arrange my patio furniture.

I'd die of fright. I know it. No, you won't. When you get the job, I'll teach

you the stripper's secret weapon.

The stripper's secret weapon?

Once you learn it, you'll never lose your nerve.

What do you say? You want the job?

Sure. Why not?

Good. Now all I have to do is convince Sidney to hire you.

I'd like to place an ad for employment in your classified section.

Rent it three days.

Charge it to Denise... What's your last name?

Kramer. Denise Kramer.

My phone is 257 -4699.

I want it to read like this.

I will do anything for money.

Young woman, M .A. in math, Phi Beta Kappa, can solve your problem.

We'll work cheap.

What?

How the hell should I know what job category it fits? You figure it out.

Surprise?

Not really.

I knew you'd think of something.

I'll bet you were surprised when you saw who was sleeping in your bed last

night. Well, until now, anyone found sleeping in my bed has been there at my

invitation.

I'm sorry. He was only going to stay a while, and then we got so tired that...

It's okay.

Spare me the details.

Well, he'll go when you want him to.

Would you like to meet him? I've already met him.

Well, good.

Then I can get going.

I made you some lunch.

You didn't have to do that.

Well, I wouldn't want you taking candy from a stranger.

You've been listening.

I really don't want to leave.

Do I have to?

Well... I love you.

What? I'd stay around for a while and get acquainted.

How can you fall in love with somebody in the dark?

I can't.

We'll have to change the living arrangements around here.

I thought of that. We can rotate with your roommates.

They can sleep in here. We'll use the bedroom and then we'll reverse it.

But what about Honey? I don't want to hurt her.

We'll tell her as soon as she gets home.

I mean, it's the only fair thing to do.

Do you think so?

Sure. She's a liberated woman. She's got no hang -ups about possessiveness,

jealousy and all that stuff.

That's beautiful.

Wait and see.

She'll understand.

That's my toothbrush.

That's tough.

You sold me out. Both of you.

Honey.

Honey, you're not being fair.

I'm not being fair.

Oh, that's beautiful, beautiful.

You're...

Why not?

Because. I keep thinking about Honey. What's going to become of her?

I don't know.

Well, don't you care?

Sure I do.

Mike, we've got to find her. She can take care of herself.

No, not anymore. Her spirit's broken and it's our fault.

Hey, where do you start to look in a city this size, huh?

Maybe somebody took her in just like you did. You know, she's pretty hard to

resist.

The beach.

That's where to look.

Before I invited her to stay here, she was planning to sleep on the couch.

Okay, Tom. From here to San Diego or here to San Francisco?

You got some answers to your ad.

I didn't expect so many answers. I was afraid people would think the ad was a

gag.

Nope, that's not my line.

You said you'd do anything.

Listen to this.

Dear madam, I am 15 years old and my friend is 16.

He is too old to be a virgin.

What he needs is an older, experienced woman to take away his virginity.

Also, if you wouldn't mind, I would like to come along and watch. I think it

would be very educational for me.

And it's fine, respectfully yours.

Could I watch too, madam?

Next.

What do you know?

This one sounds legitimate.

Hello, may I speak to Mrs. Borden?

My name is Honey Holtzman, Mrs. Borden. You answered my ad in the paper?

Certainly. I'd be happy to meet you there.

I'll be wearing a turquoise dress.

Goodbye.

She sounds very nice.

I wonder what she wants you to do.

Who cares as long as she doesn't want to watch.

Miss Holtzman? Yes, how do you do? Sit down.

I thought this would be a good place to meet.

Who's going to notice two women talking in a place like this?

Your ad said you'd do anything for money.

Are you really that desperate?

Oh, you're damn right I am.

Good. I like women who swear.

They're never phonies.

I swear?

Oh, forget it.

Look, tell me.

Are you desperate enough to do something illegal?

For $10 ,000.

What do you want me to do?

Kill my husband.

How?

Run him down with a car and then back over him a couple of times to make sure

he's had it. Have you got a car?

Oh, sure, sure.

Will you do it?

Yes. Where can I find him?

Oh, thank you.

Well, every day he walks the dog before dinner.

Now, there's a section on our street where there are no houses, only vacant

lots. Now, he always goes by there.

That's where you'll nail him. And then you can hide his body in the weeds.

When do I get my money?

Oh, afterwards.

No way. I want $5 ,000 in advance, and I want it right now.

Now? Now or there's no deal. I don't have that much money on me.

I'll take a check.

Okay, you've got yourself a deal.

Well, did you get the job?

Yes. I've already gotten a $5 ,000 advance.

Wow! What do you have to do for that kind of money?

Kill someone.

No, really. What do you have to do?

I told you.

You're not putting me on?

No.

Well, are you actually going to do it?

What do you think?

Did you succeed?

I did.

Are there any juicy details you'd like to hear?

Do you have anything of his to prove it?

What do you want, his head?

Where's your car?

It's parked outside.

Nothing, no blood, no dents, nothing.

I wiped it off.

You're sure he's dead?

Do you want to see his body? There's lots of blood and dents on him.

No, I believe you.

Then give him my money.

Hold it right there. Put your hands up. You're under arrest.

You idiot.

That bastard had it coming.

He already killed one wife, but he was out to get me too.

You could have had $10 ,000.

It would have been an act of mercy.

I couldn't kill you.

Maybe you should have knocked him off. Very funny.

Well, sounds like you gave her a hard time.

These cases are rarely one -sided.

How long do you think they'll put her away for? It depends on how good a

she gets.

How did he get away with killing his first wife?

He didn't. After seven years, he got out on parole.

Hey, eat something, honey.

I can't.

You don't have anything to feel bad about. You saved a man's life.

Yeah, but did it have to be such a rotten man?

Just a minute.

Honey, it's for you. His name's Vernon Sudsmith IV.

I don't want to talk to him. Do you know him? No, and I don't want to.

Uh, I'm sorry, but she can't come to the phone. Could I take a message?

Yeah, she's still unemployed.

What sort of employment are you offering?

You can't.

All right, what's the address?

Oh, she'll be there.

Bye.

I'm not going.

He heard about how you helped the police catch that woman on the 6 o 'clock

news, and he wants to offer you a job.

But he can't say what kind on the phone, so he wants you to meet him at the

south corner of Alfred and Weyburn at 10 o 'clock so he can tell you.

Another weirdo.

Vernon Zugsmith.

That's a familiar name.

It's just another weirdo, only this one probably wants to carve me up or watch

me take a bath in spaghetti sauce.

I'll go with you. If there's anything fishy, we'll move right in.

And I'll go, too. We'll protect you.

Honey Holtzman.

Bernie Gugsnit.

Come to my office. We'll talk.

Want a donut?

No, thanks.

Well, I suppose I better ask you some questions.

Have you ever had a full -time job before?

No. Why not?

No one would hire me.

And who worked out that nasty plan for trapping that poor woman?

I did.

Good, you're hired.

Hired? For what? I don't even know what business you're in.

I buy and sell.

Buy and sell what?

Everything. If you do that, you must be rich.

Yeah.

Very rich.

I'll bet I'm richer than anyone you've ever met.

Here, listen to how rich I am.

Go on, read it. It's a matter of public record.

I don't believe it. Nobody could make $400 million in seven years. Oh, yes,

can. I did it.

If you were that rich, I would have heard of you.

No, you wouldn't. I'm a very private person.

Well, so is Howard Hughes, and I've heard of him.

Well, compared to me, he's a publicity freak.

Get it.

Yeah.

Well, buy another 10 ,000 shares. They'll still be cheap. And don't call

for an hour. I'm in the middle of an important meeting.

So what is it you want to hire me to do?

Well, when I heard about you on the news, you sounded interesting.

So I thought, why not try her out? For what?

I want to hire you to talk to me.

About what?

About life.

Well, and we'll take walks and we'll eat together sometimes.

But that's the kind of thing you do with a friend, not with a hired hand.

I don't have friends.

Why not?

I don't want any.

Friends make demands. I want a companion.

Oh, I see. You want me to be your paid companion.

Yes, that's it, yeah.

Well, what are the hours and salary?

Maximum hours, minimum wage.

Hmm.

Well, when do I begin?

Right now, if you want.

All right, I accept. But only on a trial basis until I decide if I like the

work.

Now, wait a minute.

I'm the boss. I get to put you on trial.

Oh, no. For those kind of hours and that kind of pay, you're on trial.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

You know, you remind me of me.

You notice the resemblance?

No.

Hey, I thought we were going to drive to your office.

Well, this isn't my office.

This car?

This car.

You like a change of scenery?

No, I like privacy. It's hard to find me this way.

Well, that's all for today. I'll call you when I want to see you.

Well, look, if I'm out when you call, I can call back.

No. No, don't you ever call me. No, I call you.

Oh, boy, you know, my stomach is killing me.

How about you, kid?

You got indigestion?

Here, take one of these. It'll cure it. I haven't got indigestion.

Well, how do you feel?

Numb. Oh, come on, kid. Pull yourself together. It's almost time.

Here.

Hey, catcher, you never told me what the stripper's secret weapon was.

Oh, that's right.

It's this. If it gets rough out there, imagine what the audience would look

with no clothes on.

Is that all?

Come on, it's time.

Now I've got indigestion.

And now, for the first time, introducing the newest tiger kitten of them all.

Kitten Jill!

Oh, my God, she's panicking.

I can't stand to watch.

Hey, come on. Hey, come on, peel it off for me.

Come on, take it off. Take it off.

Take it off.

Remember the stripper's secret weapon.

Come on.

Nick's here.

What do you say, Nick?

What's that a say?

Yeah, I know what you mean.

That girl on the stage, is she new?

The first time.

She's doing all right, huh? What do you think?

She's not the type.

What do you mean? She's got a great body.

Look at her face, Sidney.

Too smart.

Believe me, you're the only one looking at her face.

Sidney, next time you have something to say to me, don't.

Okay, okay, Nick.

Come on back to my office. I'll give you what you want.

Hey, what are you doing here so early, kid?

This is the only place I can be alone.

Hey, kid, you know what I've been meaning to tell you? Your act's really

improving. I'm going to be sorry to lose it.

Sidney, are you firing me?

No, no, no. I want to promote you.

You see, my indigestion's been getting worse, and my doc says I've got to get

away for a rest, or else I'm going to get an ulcer.

So I want you to manage the joints for me while I'm gone.

Well, of course, I'm flattered that you thought of me, but I don't know anything

about running a club.

So I'll teach you.

You're a smart kid. You'll learn fast.

I don't know.

It's a big responsibility.

I'd feel awful if I let you down.

Anyway, stripping's not so bad.

I'll pay you 50 a week more than you're making now.

When do I start?

I'm sorry, we don't open until 4 .30.

Hey, you can't come in here.

I'm already in.

What do you want?

Where's Sidney? He's not here.

Get him.

Don't you go giving me orders.

Who the hell do you think you are?

Okay, will you please get him?

What do you want him for?

Maybe I can help you. I don't want you. I want Sidney. Well, you can't have him.

He's out of town.

Where is he?

In Acapulco.

Well, who's running things while he's gone?

Me.

Okay, I'm Nick Raspoli.

How do you do?

That doesn't mean anything to you?

No, should it?

Did Sidney tell you I've come to collect my money?

No. Well, now you know.

So go to the safe and get me $2 ,000, and don't give me anything smaller than

tens.

There you go, giving me orders again.

I won't do it without Sidney's approval.

Does this persuade you to do it?

No.

And if you don't get out of here, I'll call the police.

That would be a big mistake.

Before you do anything dumber than you already have, you'd better call Sidney.

Why should I?

I'm holding the gun.

I can do what I want.

Hello? Operator?

I want to make a long -distance call to Mr. Sidney Gruber at the

Hidalgo Hotel in Acapulco.

Give him that money, for God's sake. He'll kill you.

No, he won't.

What?

No, he won't. I got his gun away from him.

Look, that's even worse.

Now, give it back.

Apologize to him quick.

Now, you kiss his ass if you have to.

I could be out of business in half an hour if anything ever happens to him.

What'll happen to you, that I don't even want to think about.

Don't you understand, kid? That's protection money I'm paying him. Now,

going and protect me.

What did he say?

Nick, how did you get into your line of work?

Don't pussyfoot around.

Say what you mean.

You want to know how I became a crook, huh?

It was easy.

I went into the family business.

Why?

Because it's a tradition in my family.

We're all crooks.

Is your mother a crook too?

Of course not. She's Italian.

She was raised in a convent and leads a saintly life.

You're putting me on.

I wouldn't do that.

Nick, have you ever hurt anyone deliberately?

I don't want to talk about that.

What would you have done to me if I hadn't given you Sidney's money?

To you, nothing.

Now drop it.

But you pointed your gun at me.

No. You pointed my gun at me, remember?

I just took it out and laid it on the counter.

I only did that to make you see I was serious.

You're right. I forgot.

You know, you were very brave.

Did it turn you on?

Yeah.

Well, I hate to disillusion you, but I was really scared.

You were the brave one.

How could you stay so cool when I pointed that gun at you?

Because you didn't release the safety.

Oh.

What's the matter?

Nothing. Would you mind staying out of here for just a minute?

Sure. What are you going to do?

If I wanted you to know, would I ask you to leave?

Here. This is for you.

You think I never give you anything?

I never really thought about it. I know.

That's why I did it.

Thank you.

Where'd you get it?

Jewelry store. I was wrong. Don't you like it?

It's beautiful.

Good. I'm glad, because it's not returnable.

Grrr.

Are you getting antsy again?

Why don't you get out of the car and jog a little? The exercise will do you

good. I don't need to exercise my feet. I need to exercise my brain.

Vernon, I'm bored.

I'm tired of sitting all day with you in this car.

Well, it's your job. That's what I pay you for.

When you hired me, you said we'd talk, but we never do.

You don't need an employee.

You need a wife.

Yeah, I guess my lifestyle isn't too exciting.

I'll tell you what, we'll have dinner tonight and talk about it. Why can't we

talk about it right now?

Because the atmosphere is wrong.

All right, but you'd better come up with something interesting for me to do, or

I'll get a divorce.

dressed like that?

Well, I thought we were going to dinner. We are.

We are. Well, I just wanted to dress appropriately.

I guess I didn't, huh?

Well, what kind of a place are we going to?

My kind of place.

They have got the best hot dogs in town.

That's nice.

What's the matter? Don't you like hot dogs?

I can take them or leave them.

Well, okay, so you don't like the food, so how do you like the nightlife?

You call this nightlife?

Well, what would you call it?

No life. No life at all.

Okay, okay, I'll tell you what. Tomorrow we'll take the day off and I'll really

show you the town.

Give up, Vernon.

You've shown me enough of this town.

What do you mean? There's a lot of things you haven't seen yet. Ah, don't

me, Vernon. You're trying to kill me because you can't think of something for

to do. Why, yes, I can.

What? You can make me money.

Don't you have enough already?

Oh, I never have enough.

Well, how will I make this money?

However you want.

I don't think I have the talent for it. It's easy. You've seen how I do it,

haven't you?

Sure. Take your money and invest it and make more money. Doesn't that tell you

something? Tells me money makes money.

And what if I lose your money?

Then I'll fire you.

Is that a threat or a promise?

Take it any way you want.

Okay, Vernon. I can see from your viewpoint how it might be nice if I made

richer, but I... need an incentive too.

What'd you have in mind?

How about a raise?

A raise?

You said you wanted something to do. You didn't say anything about a raise.

Now, I'm willing to give you the benefit of my wisdom, my time.

It's not your money, I know.

Vernon, I'm only human.

I'm sure I'd do a better job if there was something in it for me.

Well, maybe there is.

What?

That's for me to know and for you to find out.

Well, to me, I've had my breakfast.

But it's about money.

It doesn't matter.

Well, okay.

What are you reading?

What I can't talk about.

Time you and I had a serious talk.

You know, I've lost faith in you.

You haven't come up with one good money -making idea.

Yes, I have. If you would have sold that textile mill when I told you to, you

would have made a nice little profit.

I don't want to make a nice little profit. I want to make a nice big

Well, you're not as smart as I thought. Not nearly as smart.

Why don't you say what you really mean, Vernon?

All right, I will.

You think you know me pretty well, don't you?

You think you can read my mind. Well, you can't. I think thoughts about things

you could never even think about thinking thoughts about.

You better buy as many shares of this as you can.

A rope import company?

Not just a rope import company. It's the biggest rope import company in America.

It's had three bad years and it can be bought cheap.

And why would I want to buy it?

Because there's going to be a worldwide shortage.

Whose forecast is that?

Mine. Oh.

The hemp crop has been lousy this year, so there's got to be a shortage, and

that means the price will go way up.

How much?

I estimate at least 100%, or maybe more.

Here are the figures my estimate's based on.

It's a publicly held company.

If I were you, I would buy as many shares as I could.

What do you think?

I think you're fired.

And I think you better go right now.

Go on, get out.

I told you you didn't know what I thought.

How did you get in here?

Did you miss me?

Were you gone?

Yeah, for three days. Didn't you notice?

You're still my woman, aren't you?

I'm my own woman.

Where were you? Out of town taking care of business.

I'm afraid to ask what kind of business.

It's a very healthy attitude.

I think it's sick.

I believe in total honesty between people.

Do you always put everything up front?

Always.

Well, it's what's up front that counts.

Okay.

I believe in total honesty, too.

Do you live with a guy named Mike?

Why are you interested in him?

I'm not.

He's your friend.

So I thought you'd want to warn him.

Some friends of mine are looking for him.

What did he do?

Don't you know?

He's a fence.

He does all right for a beginner.

But you can't become a centrist by going into business.

First, you have to be okayed by the right people, which your roommate has

bothered to do.

They can't let him get away with that.

When they find him, what will they do?

Waste him.

I should have known one day you'd slug me.

You had it coming, you crazy broad.

Could have got yourself killed.

If you didn't want me to do something, why did you tell me about Mike?

I didn't know you'd get out of hand.

You've got to learn to act more feminine.

If that's supposed to be a blow to my ego, I didn't feel a thing.

You had no right to butt in. Those guys are only doing their job.

Oh, just like you're only doing your job when you extort money from Sidney.

Listen.

If you want to stay around me, you better learn when to shut up.

I'm glad you mentioned that.

Because I don't want to stay around you. I've had it with you.

What are you so pissed off about?

Because I hit you?

Well, some women like that.

So do some men.

Let's forget we're here.

I feel something for you.

I don't want you to go, so why do you want to?

You know, I've tried to understand why you became a crook.

And I think I finally do.

You like your work.

Yeah, I like my work. So what?

So we're incompatible.

I'm going to be a lawyer and you're a crook.

What's incompatible about that? A lot of lawyers are crooks.

It's no use.

There's an irreconcilable difference between us. Yeah, you're a woman and I'm

man. It's worse than that.

You're corrupt and I'm not.

Well, you could always change.

I'm not going to change.

Well, neither am I.

But I like being around you anyway.

I even told my family about you.

We need a full -time lawyer to handle all our business.

If you want, when you pass the bar exam, you come and work for us.

What did the rest of your family think of that?

They're willing to try it.

Well, I'm not.

I intend to practice my profession with integrity.

I hope so. We certainly don't want to be ripped off.

That's not likely.

Are you sure you don't want to be our lawyer?

I'm sure.

Then how about being my wife?

That's very funny.

I'm very serious.

I want to be a judge someday.

I could never be one if I were married to you.

Well, judge.

Don't judge me too harshly.

Goodbye, Nick.

Checkmate.

I'm tired of playing. Why don't you play with yourself?

I can't. I'm too tough an opponent.

Oh, my God.

What happened?

The ship finally hit the fan.

It broke my playing hand.

Well, what did you expect? What are you going to do, shake it? Shut up, Denise.

Lie down and I'll clean out your cuts.

You've got to see a doctor.

You knew all about me, didn't you? No thanks to you. I had to sneak around and

find out for myself.

Why didn't you tell me?

I thought what you didn't know couldn't hurt you.

It hurts.

I'll do it.

You too?

Wow, I'm glad I didn't go out today.

How did you get wounded?

Fighting on the Italian front.

What crop are you planting?

Just some flowers.

Don't bother.

You won't be around to see them bloom.

You're kicking me out?

We're all being kicked out. I just heard from the landlord.

He's putting the building up for sale and he doesn't want me to manage it

anymore.

He thinks the way we live will scare off the buyers.

I'm sorry, Denise.

He also wants me to paint over that mural I did on the wall.

According to him, it lowers the property values.

Well, maybe you'll find some other place nicer than this.

I was happy here.

Oh, I almost forgot.

A man from some gas station called.

Here's the address. He said he's holding a package for you.

Did he say what was in it? Yeah.

Cookies?

Cookies?

Anybody here?

Who's there?

It's me, the burglar.

Sidney, is that you?

You were expecting Richard Nixon?

Welcome home. When did you arrive?

I came right from the airport.

Kid, I gotta hand it to you. I just finished checking the accounts and you

great job for me.

I guess I get demoted back to stripper now, right?

Wrong. From now on, I'm taking it easy.

How would you like to continue as manager?

Why not?

Let's have a drink to celebrate.

You like champagne, huh? Sounds good to me. I mean, after all, why should I work

my butt off to make a schmuck like Nick rich?

From now on, I'm going to devote myself to something more constructive, like

breathing out and breathing in.

What we drink to?

To breathing out and breathing in. I'll drink to that.

By the way, Nick won't be coming around anymore. He's sending a new guy to

collect. I think I saw him.

I wish I could have been here to see you and Nick together.

Boy, you pointed his own pieces and he must have really peed in his pants, huh?

He had it coming.

You really settled his hash, huh?

Not really.

Let's just say that before we parted... Parted?

Was there some kind of hanky -panky between you two?

Sidney, you ask too many questions.

I'm cold, I itch, I need a break.

Don't move!

This is going to be an artistic first.

The first nude with his arm in a sling. If we don't take a break, you're going

to get your ass in a sling.

Well, here they are, the famous cookies.

That's funny. They don't sound like cookies.

Maybe it's a joke.

Maybe it's a bomb.

Maybe I won't open it.

I'll open it.

Son of a gun.

I wonder if it's real.

Could be hot.

No, it's the real thing.

It's from Vernon.

Does he say what it's for?

Mm -hmm.

Dear honey.

Here is your 1 % finder's fee for putting me onto that rope company.

You were right. The company was a good buy.

But you overlooked one crucial point.

Who needs the company when you can buy the crop?

That's what I did. I flew to the Philippines and bought the entire hemp

As you predicted, the price skyrocketed and I made a nice little profit.

Nothing big, you understand, but every six million helps.

Be sure to look me up if you ever get another good idea for making me money.

You're rich.

There's about $60 ,000 here.

What are you going to do with it?

I don't know. I don't need it. You don't?

Well, maybe I could use it. I could start a business and give people jobs.

Including yourself.

Yeah, me too.

And everyone could own equal shares and there would be no bosses.

I wonder where Vernon is. Why?

Well, if I'm going to create more jobs, I'm going to need more money than this.

And wherever Vernon is, there's money.

100, 200, 300, 400, 500.

You know, Vernon was right.

Next to making it, the most fun is counting it.

Last time I saw her, she was inside counting her money.

Again? She promised to help with this.

I'll get her.

By the time you read this, I'll have gone to look for Vernon. I have a new

-making idea for him.

I'm sharing the money with you because you need it as much as I do, and because

you were my friends when I needed you, not when you needed me.

You know, I think I finally understand why Vernon reminds me of me.

We both love to take risks.

And I've got a couple of risks in mind for Vernon that'll ring his chimes. Only

this time he's gonna pay me more than a stingy one percent.

Well, goodbye.

Something must be out there waiting for me. It's just a matter of me finding it

or it finding me.

Whatever it is, here I come.