Original subtitles

Here is Timmy, not close -minded, looking for love, wants to

find it. Let's meet Luz, woman of fashion, but then got fired

for her nudist passion.

There's a place of sun and sand, all natural, they call it

Newfoundland. It's parts unknown, it's a new day.

And they are naked but not afraid of body positive land.

The noodles of nude land.

The noodles of nude land.

Nude isn't lewd.

With the noodles of nude land.

There's barbed wire tough as an army vet.

With no uniform to absorb her sweat.

And hippy -dippy Mondo Man.

Obsessed with burritos, I don't understand.

Also Journey, an artsy sister.

Shining her light to Mrs.

and Mr.

If you're clothes -free, avoid demon's eyes. Maybe chunky dunk or hide in the

vines. The noodles of New Glenn.

The noodles of New Glenn.

Animals don't wear pants.

style day.

Your clothing looks appropriate and fitting.

Absolutely. As it should. Except for anything dirty or in ways subjective

the eyes of others.

I mean, could you imagine if we didn't have these layers protecting us from sin

and depravity?

It'd be an orgy.

Of course.

We couldn't even think for ourselves. It would be animal madness. Like, um,

what's it called? The pervy naked one.

Oh, right.

There's an article about that in the newspaper.

They claim to have a 99 % drop in violence and zero sex crime.

What's it called?

The Naked Town?

Yeah. Weirville?

Butland? Yeah.

Russians put pants on?

They should.

Booty Barcelona?

Oh, it's called Nudeland.

I wonder what kind of prison would fit in there.

Please, please watch over me as I try to keep it together for one more day and

my crappy job.

Thank you so much.

Amen.

Or our women.

Or our persons.

lonely day to be alive and fully clothed.

Well, I don't want to miss any of the sunshine that won't touch all of my

Well, so I'm off to work at the fashion designer label company.

Maybe on my way, I'll stop by that Mexican park.

Yeah, we just call it the park.

Oh, right.

Well, maybe I'll see you there later or at my job at the fashion designer label

company. Bye.

off about that girl like we're not seeing the real her right i mean what's

with the hair the the the flower in her hair i mean what are you supposed to be

like a disney cartoon right weird what are you trying too hard to

show that she's mexican like i know she's even wearing like the mexican

show that she's mexican and calling the park a mexican park

I just don't get the people I work with.

I'm probably going to get fired today.

Everyone's so hung up on designer labels and what's in fashion this season.

What about what's in your heart?

Clothes just breaks people into these social circles, and it's based on how

money you make.

I just don't care.

I mean, why is everybody so close -minded?

I guess I just don't belong in Mexico.

I wonder if I belong anywhere.

I wonder if there's anyone else in the world that feels the way I do.

I just love being an American.

For breakfast, I had a hot dog and a hamburger and... Apple pie.

I love us.

I say, what's in this conveniently placed article over here?

Something to further along plot?

Actually, yes.

It's an article about that new naturalist and nudist country, Nudeland.

Where all of these a -holes walk around completely naked with no

clothes on. Have they no shame? Have they no shame?

Apparently not. If I saw a naked guy walking around, I would just scream and

away. Or laugh.

Either way would be weird.

The following is a paid advertisement for Noodland.

As the Prime Minister, I think Newfoundland is fantastic, of course.

But don't just take my word for it.

Listen to the people who are actually living here.

Are you tired of clothes?

Are you tired of fabric?

Well, you can join all these wonderful people at Nudeland.

People used to call me the nude gardener, but around here I'm just the

I'm Ashley. Welcome to Nudeland.

I really hope you like it here.

Yeah, I moved here a couple years back.

I am Dr.

Benjamin Franklin.

Here I am in my birthday suit, which is where God created me, in my birthday

suit.

Hi, I'm Eve.

Welcome to Noodland.

Everyone has their own reasons for coming to Noodland, like our own artist,

Ashley. Ashley had a really hard time getting into galleries, you know.

They would always say that they had problems with the female presenting

you know.

They could hang up naked illustrations if they were from some old dead white

guy.

Move to New Zealand?

And everything's been great ever since.

Hope you like it here too.

I'm Dr. Benjamin Franklin. Come and join me.

Come to New Zealand.

Book your vacation today.

Offer valid in most free countries.

I mean, what kind of sick...

twisted, messed up individual would just embrace a lifestyle like that.

Ha!

It's a great day to be alive! Right, sunshine?

Ha!

You know, today I might go to that great American park!

Yeah. We just call it the park.

I'm going to get going. I'll see you guys later.

Good catching up with you.

There's something not quite right about him.

I mean, did you see him?

Smiling. Happy.

I mean, what does he have to be happy about anyway?

He didn't even have shoes on. What a nut.

Yeah, what a nut.

My favorite garden.

One place I can go to think and be alone.

It's like everyone is so stupid.

Society is all focused on clothing.

Nobody goes, oh, look, a naked cat. Oh, look, a naked horse.

No, it's just a cat and a horse.

If God wanted us to be naked, we would have been born that way.

And we are.

It just makes sense if you stop and think about it.

I wonder if there's anyone out there who feels the way that I do.

Anyone at all.

And he's naked again.

Ladybug, hey, I did it. I stood in line all night. I got... I got you tickets to

your favorite play.

I love you so much. Look, we're having so much fun. I can't wait. I can't wait.

This is going to be great.

Okay. Is it a play that I will like or one that you will like?

For you.

The last time you bought tickets, it was for Hair, O Calcutta, and Disrobed,

where there was a bunch of naked people, a cast of nude actors.

You know, I could return those. I could get another.

I could get, I could get, I could get another.

There should be another.

Run, row, ticket.

Oh, gosh, my ladybug.

Hey,

look at our naked butts. We so naked.

Yippee, yippee. We so nude. A play in three acts.

Your favorite, right? Are you serious?

Are you serious?

Why do you think I would like something like this?

You know what?

I can't do this anymore.

I can't date you anymore.

What? Is it because I'm a fat guy?

No. Is it my man boobs?

No. Small penis?

No.

Do you really think I'm that shallow? I mean, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.

I've dated so many men with so many different sizes.

It's just that...

I love that face.

And you make me laugh.

I just, I don't know.

Let me get that for you.

Oh, my God. What?

You're so naked. Why do you have to be naked all the time?

I can't do that.

You know, there's society and there's you.

You don't fit into society.

You just don't. You know, maybe.

You should join a nudist colony.

Colony. It's called a resort.

And I've tried.

I have tried. The thing, the problem with that is it's a bait and switch.

don't actually do what they say they're going to do. Like I contacted one nudist

resort and it was a secret swingers place. They told me to go find a cute

and then come back, which is.

gross and homophobic. Because what if I was gay? What if it was two guys?

There's no girl. They didn't think that through at all. And the other thing is

they say they want to attract younger people. And then on the weekend, they

chili cook -off and bingo night.

And as far as swingers go, I'm not being judgmental. It's just not my bag.

Look.

I'm sorry.

Well, listen. If you're breaking up with me, you're going to make me a single

man. And you know what nudist resorts hate?

Single men.

I can't even go.

Look, I love you. I just... This isn't us.

Don't you get it? It's not us.

You want to be naked all the time. I just want to look at shoes and put on

makeup and, you know, be able to go out in public.

Look, I know. I know that there's someone out there for you. There is.

You're going to find your tribe.

I know that you're going to find someone for you, someone special that's going

to understand you for who you are.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Yeah, fat boy.

Of course she left you.

You don't belong anywhere.

Nobody will ever understand you. And you want to know why?

You are alone.

Your family doesn't get you. Your friends don't get you.

And the love of your life just abandoned you because of your

grotesque, bulbous body.

Face it, Tim.

You will die alone.

Geez, the voices in my head hurt.

On the bright side, this couldn't get any worse.

What do we have here?

Huh? One of them hippies?

You a hippie, boy?

No, sir.

No dress?

This is indecent exposure.

This is the human body. It's not indecent.

Wait a minute.

You're Tim Chismar.

You've been arrested, like, 733 times?

Well, this is it. This is the last one.

Because I'm going to put in a transfer to have you expedited out of the USA.

So I'm not going to jail?

Worse than that.

I'm going to send you to a country where everybody's naked. You're going to run

around naked and people everywhere are naked.

Hey, all right.

I'm going to send you all expenses paid to nude land.

Unless you like that, then I'm not going to send you.

No, I would definitely not like to go to a nude land. No, no, no, no, no.

No, that would be awful.

Good. Good.

That's what I need, man.

And there you go, sir.

Thank you.

I am Prime Minister Pierre Moustache, and it is my exalted duty to welcome

people to nude land.

I trust you've packed your bags and brought them with you full of clothing?

Excellent, sir. Excellent.

I know, I know. I should have been a comedian.

Who do we have next?

Ah, yes, Tim Chismar.

Welcome, Tim, to the land where bodies are innocent and pure.

where we go back to nature, and where you can finally be with folks who think

like you and who get it.

Welcome to Nudeland.

Welcome, Tim.

3 a .m. I'm lost in Deathville.

You're both fantastic.

Like, we have to pick one of them, right? We do. I love the grace of this

It captures her going down almost flawlessly. I really love, like, the

effect. Like, I've been in that moment so much, but I really do like this one.

think they're both great. But really the color scheme of this one is really, I

think, what captures my attention.

The way that each of, like, the light is fractaling is just amazing. Yeah, and I

like the reflection here. It's very real.

And I think it's more, even just the way that the pool is and the curvature.

I love them both. It's immaculate.

I don't know.

I want them both, but... Yeah, I guess we're going to have to go.

You know, my friend, it looks like you're trying to decide about some

right? Yeah.

Art is about being in the moment.

And I got to tell you, it seems like these are connecting with both of you,

think you should buy them both.

I think we should. There's something to that. I think we're going to go ahead

and get both.

I think we need to get both. Lovely.

I'll take this one. Okay.

Thank you so much. Thank you.

Your work is beautiful. It's wonderful. You capture the human form wonderfully.

Thank you.

You know, I actually do ceramics and pottery, and I make vessels, and I would

honored if you'd ever paint on one of them. That would be so cool.

Oh, my gosh.

That would be so exciting. I love collaborating with other artists.

leave your card with me. I will. Thank you.

Awesome. Well, let's get back before it gets too hot. Thank you again.

Bye -bye.

Wow. I think you may have a career selling art.

Tim. That was incredible.

Are you sure you're happy working for Clothes Free?

I am in interesting, unique, special court site, Arizona, at the world

-famous Magic Circle nude area.

And you know something?

Nudes of the News starts now!

As a nude caster, I would love to have you sell art for me.

That I smile.

I did make it myself, the smile.

I love being a newscaster. It was a dream come true. I was a fan before I

moved to Newfoundland and was able to actually work with the news crew.

So for me, I'm happy. But as far as this goes, the right person will come along.

All right.

All right. All right. But what about your dating life?

What about it? It's awful.

It's a disaster.

It's so bad.

It's a toxic waste dump. It is explosions and tears.

It is the worst.

I've had a really nice time with you.

Oh, thanks. Good.

Are you trying to get fresh with me?

What? No.

I can't believe it.

Are you getting fresh with me?

What? No. I would never.

What?

Hey, why are you not getting fresh with me?

Wait, what?

Why?

Unbelievable.

You are a dude.

Yeah, but, you know, dudes have needs.

I'm telling you, as far as for me, love isn't in the cards. I, at this point,

I'm just going to accept the fact that I'm going to die alone.

Tim, the right one will come along.

We'll see.

Huh.

Hootie, little hootie, trying to show everything off.

You don't care if the dog's naked?

Are you kidding me?

You're naked right now!

And, I mean, secondly, isn't it a job, you know, pertaining to clothing and

fashion, right?

Okay, I'm just going to say this by the end. You are naked in front of us. We

can see everything.

It's weird. We're not okay with it. Well, actually, I know.

Nobody is okay with it.

You're weird.

Right. You're just so naked, I...

Do I need to give you money? I am not an exhibitionist, and I am not a stripper.

I am just comfortable in my own skin.

Well, you heard them. You're either a hoochie or a weirdo. So which is it?

Which is it, Miss Padilla?

Your family doesn't love you, your friends don't like you, and you can't

hold a job, whore!

Nobody will ever understand.

Your naked ambitions.

Minor thoughts are brutal.

You got that right, sister!

So, that's why we're reporting you to authorities.

They'll be here any minute to take you away.

So, I lost my job, and now I'm being kicked out?

For literally being how I was born?

There are good nipples and there are bad nipples.

Good nipples are on a man. They can be shown.

Bad nipples on a female.

That is against the law.

So the ones that give life -saving milk for babies are the bad ones.

Do you know how disgusting and antiquated and old your logic is?

All of you, if you agree with this.

What about transgender people, huh?

presenting as female, suddenly overnight the breasts are bad?

It's the same damn nipples!

Hey, Officer D -Van, she's making us think objectively about society and the

rules governing the human body.

Isn't that against the law, too? Yeah. Forcing us to think?

Yeah, it certainly is.

You're coming with me.

I'm taking you to the country of news so you can be with your own kind.

about this again.

If you're going to be happy about this, I'm taking you to jail.

No, no, no.

Bad naked bodies, bad boobs, bad nipples.

Yeah, that's what I thought.

Afternoon.

Adios.

Can it be healed?

Can it be healed with physical?

This anger is hard to love.

And this anger is hard to embrace.

No, sir, I have no idea how much a polar bear weighs.

Enough to break the ice.

Hello, I am Prime Minister Pierre Moustache, the very funny Prime Minister

Nudeland. And who do we have next?

Oh, yes.

You know, we're actually very happy you were arrested and deported.

Mexico just didn't know how cool you really are, Luis Padilla.

You're going to be very happy here in our body positive environment.

It's going to take a little bit of adjusting.

You're going to have to go through a journey where you're going to have to

your old anxieties and your old body shame. But I believe in you.

And I know you're going to find your voice here. So welcome to luxury.

Welcome to relaxation.

Welcome to your nude home.

Nude land.

Enough to break the ice.

Genius, sir. Genius.

Listen to the Nature's Living Show podcast for all kinds of cool

about naturism. And you can find it everywhere that you listen to podcasts.

Let's see.

But wait.

I heard there's a streaker running around.

Oh, I heard about the streaker. He scared my daughter. If I get my hands on

I'm going to choke him out until he turns purple.

Where? Where is he?

Where is he?

Don't make me do it.

If you do it, I'm going to show you.

I'll show it to you.

Show me.

You like fabrics? I got a lot of fabric in here.

You want to see some fabric?

Oh, kill it.

Namaste.

You do that every day.

Quality.

That's what I've been thinking about.

You know, like, what is quality?

Is it like the feeling that you get when something goes right in your life and

then everything meaningful and magical seems important and the aspects of true

and not true are all aligned?

I get it. I totally see it. It's like it's everything around us. And you know

what, Journey?

You embody quality.

Wow. Thank you so much, AD.

You really get me.

have really positive energy.

If I was to guess their blood type, I would say it's B positive.

You guys can laugh, but I'll tell you something.

I'm going to set a record as the world's very first all -new skateboarding

champion. Not even kidding.

Hell yeah, Mondo, man.

I saw what you did at the X Games four years ago.

Dude, you rule, dude.

That was just me getting warmed up.

You haven't seen nothing.

Wow. You are so inspirational, but those flips, those turns, those

dives, that's really dangerous.

Well, you know, it takes a lot, a lot of practice.

And it's really important to be self -centered and confident when I'm out

doing that.

That's why I always make sure to eat a healthy, well -balanced breakfast and

chant.

Chant? What, like a Buddhist monk?

What does that do?

No, more like this.

Wow.

Oh, yeah.

It's good for the soul.

Cleansing.

Like, for the inner world, you know?

So, your name is Barb Wire.

Well, that's pretty badass.

Yeah, well, I got it on the movie sets, you know.

I've been doing it a long time.

I've done everything from, you know, fire, ice.

Broken glass, fight scenes, jumping from helicopters.

Now I got shrapnel in my ass. Look at that. Look at that.

Well, I've told you about me, you know, getting here.

Yeah. What about you?

What about me?

How did you embrace nudism?

Oh, the conversion story.

Oh, naturists and Christians, they're all the same.

They want to know how you were saved.

Well, all right, I was in Pennsylvania.

My friends brought me to the World Naked Bike Ride.

And, yeah,

I was really nervous at first. And I was riding through the streets. And, oh, I

met all the people. And they were great. And then I saw the faces of the

textiles as they were riding through Erie.

Oh, it was awesome.

Yeah, so when we're packing up, by the end of the day, I didn't want to put my

clothes back on, right?

Why is it lawful for hundreds of people to ride through the city from this

time to this time, right? But, like, if I go after, on my own,

I'm indecent?

Well,

I had to challenge that.

I started doing stunts nude.

Yeah.

Yeah, I did.

Eventually, the law got up with me.

Wow.

That is so exciting. I mean, my roommates, I just had jerky roommates

to your tale. I mean, with such a death -defying career, is there anything you

haven't done?

On purpose?

Why? You're not saving it up, are you?

That's right.

The big one.

They're going to write books about it.

Atom.

The A is for my ass.

Yeah.

So, are you looking forward yet?

I've gone to some interviews, and they've all gone really, really, really

Hi. Hi. I saw an ad for light housekeeping. I could do that. I really

job. Yeah. It's totally, definitely light housekeeping.

My toilet's just overflooded, overflooded, and it's just a lot of crap

the floor. But don't you worry. I'm going to provide some boots for you.

just going to be just up to here, and you'll be fine.

I can show you real quick.

Hi, I saw an ad for pet sitting.

Is it a cat? Is it a dog?

Well, Fluffy isn't a cat and she isn't a dog, but she does need to be walked

three times a day and she needs to be fed five times a day. And you should

use this as you're getting to know her because Fluffy can be a little...

skittish around strangers and a little scared, so this is her discipline stick.

Oh, it's a bunny?

Fluffy isn't a bunny, but that is one of her favorite meals.

She is a 50 -foot -long, 200 -pound king cobra, the biggest

one in the world. She's a world record holder.

Oh, here she comes now. Fluffy comes.

She doesn't bite much.

Fluffy, we'll find you a sitter. I promise, baby.

Oh, come to daddy. Come to daddy.

Oh, you should talk to Journey over there. She knows everyone.

She can help you.

Yeah.

I guess I... Yeah, you should go. I better go or you'll fart on me.

You're a...

Funny girl.

Yeah, it was funny once.

It was before I held the hand of a dying parakeet in Nam.

Wouldn't that be a claw and you're too young for Vietnam?

I didn't say Nam.

I said Mom.

I said Vietnam. I survived Vietnam.

God, my teenage years. My mom would die. She was mean to pigeons?

I better go.

Yeah.

Yeah,

I'll be right here

painter did you do all these i am i'm sk marshall how can i help you

i need a job really really bad journey said you need a good salesperson

oh you have no idea how bad the jobs are

person got you know seven degree burns all over their torso like the full torso

uh but you'll be fine uh you got experience uh we got four the deep fry

so 450 degrees you know basic basic chicken tenders we have to get 30 out

so why don't we go ahead and get it started you get on the tent the honey

mustard i love the honey mustard okay okay listen there's a really

difficult screening question we have to ask okay

George!

I'll do it. You'll see.

Oh, you're the one who wants a job. Is that right?

Yes, very much so. You have no idea how stupid some of the jobs in this country

are. I like people, and I like art.

Okay, here's the really important question that you're going to need to

to get this job.

Which one is smarter, cats or dogs?

That's a trick question.

Most people think cats are smarter, but that's not true.

Dogs are smarter. In fact... There's a study that proves that most cat owners

are smarter than dog owners.

It's true. Look it up on the Google machine. I think it has to do with the

owner's neediness to walk and constantly be around a dog for their own emotional

support. In fact, you can leave cat food out and leave for days. The cat will be

fine.

I hope that was a hard answer. I really need this job.

You plucky little devil. You are hired.

Come with me to help inside.

Thank you.

Hold on a minute. Hold on a minute.

Okay. So you now have a job.

That's good.

But what about a date?

Well, I'd love to meet somebody.

Right. Let's check off that box, that life box.

You're single, right, darling?

Yes. Okay.

I might just have someone for you. I love playing matchmaker. Oh.

Well, I hope he's kind.

Oh!

Seriously, the ocean is alive.

It's thinking.

It knows you're there. It feels your heart.

It knows.

Everything. It remembers things.

It's like it can get angry.

It can get horny.

It can laugh. It's got a range of emotions, like more than we do.

That's why I love surfing.

Wow. Surfing is just the best because you never know. You never know how the

ocean feels about you, what's coming next, the next wave coming your way.

It should be nothing or it could be the biggest, fastest wave ever.

Wow, Mondo, man, wow.

Dude, what's your story? Like, were you deported here like the rest of us?

See, that's the thing.

I was born here.

Yeah, you don't hear that too often, do you? No.

Everyone's different. I was actually a citizen from day one.

Pretty awesome, huh?

Except, technically, I mean, one might say that I never...

was given the chance to decide for myself that I wanted to be naked all the

time.

But, well, hey, it's a good thing that I love it so much, right?

So, how did the job search go? SK is amazing.

Yes, thank you so much. I got the job. It was such a rough interview process.

Was it?

No.

I'm learning so much about models and paint than I ever thought I would. Like

this paint gouache is super expensive.

I'm even thinking about doing some body painting myself.

It seems so fun and freeing.

Wow. So you're settling in.

I'm so glad.

You know, because it's like strange how in other countries, it's like when you

go to the beach.

And you have to wear these little strips of fabric over your naughty bits to

make sure that no one's looking, even though it obviously calls attention to

them. I guess that's the thought behind it, right?

Okay, right. But then they're brightly colored neon and leopard, so doesn't

defeat the purpose? I mean...

It's obviously like a look at me. I'm a naughty part.

You're right. It just completely doesn't make any sense.

Well, like at my old job, I had to design butt slogans, like on customers'

asses, like juicy or whatever.

It is so asinine. Yes, a million percent.

So while the world is patting itself on its back, thinking it's the sexualizing.

bodies by not showing them. I'm just signing the latest butt slogan.

Your blind date. It's coming up soon, right? SK set you up and you nervous?

No.

Well, I mean, a little nervous, but I hear great things about this girl, man.

I'm just hoping that she can be authentic. At this point in my life, I

girl who can keep it real.

That's girls for you to keep it real.

Keep it real.

Complicated. You know what? And that's exactly where it's at, because I know

I've read research.

Kids that grow up in naturist communities, you know, they don't have a

premarital sex, and they certainly don't, you know, get these, like, crazy

curiosities about sex and naughty parts, because they understand it already.

And things are just different there.

Mm -hmm. My grandparents embraced nudism, and it was going great for a

until they passed away, and I was lost for a while.

But then I found my way here, and you guys. Oh, I'm glad that you did.

My last girlfriend broke up with me because I'm a nudist.

Bro, you're not going to have that problem here.

That woman here will break it off with you if you, you know, put on a necklace

or put on a glove.

It's over.

No, seriously.

That's why.

I stick to adrenaline rushes.

I mean, fast cars, ripping jumps off dirt bikes, skateboarding. Oh,

man, this one time I was attempting a triple windy off this half pipe, and I

up to the top, about to jump, and I notice this graffiti in front of me, and

there's this painting of a tomato and something about the color of it. It

reminded me of this burrito.

One burrito that I would say is probably the best burrito I've ever had in my

entire life, which reminded me that idea that I had, the burrito brothel. I

think I really want to do something with that.

Burrito brothel. Isn't that a badass name?

I can see that. Yeah. All right.

All right.

So, Luz, next topic. I hear you're going on a blind date.

Who's it with? I don't know. That's why it's a blind date.

Right. True.

It's been a while since I've tried to connect with anyone, so I'm praying for

blessing, but I'm not going to worry too much about it.

I mean, it's not like I'm going to lose any sleep over it.

Are you kidding me? What are you doing showing your junk?

It's a man's world.

You have no say. There's something wrong with you, woman.

You're supposed to have clothes on.

No.

No.

No.

No, no, no.

You fat, disgusting pig.

You're loud.

You're obnoxious. Did I mention all your friends are now your enemy? Because all

your enemies started off as your friends. You suck as a human being.

Nobody cares about you. You ugly, smelly pig.

If I had to give you a 1 through 10, I'd give you a 1 .5.

You're hideous.

Nobody wants to look at you like that.

You know what?

I'm not even embarrassed.

You should be the one embarrassed.

You little piece of nothing.

You're like a speck of dust.

That's what you are.

A speck of dust. In fact, you're not even a speck of dust. You're nothing.

You're nothing.

Cheer yourself up. Eat a burrito.

Eat a brownie, eat whatever.

Do not tell that burrito can bleed. I cannot bear to hear that for the

time. You get it.

Thanks.

Hey, hey, wait.

Do you mind if I ask you something?

Yeah.

Just curious.

What did you used to wear back in the...

Back in America, like what colors?

I was a color man. I was all black.

Threat the darkness.

It's okay.

See you later.

Feel better.

Kay told me that there'd be a girl with a pretty flower in her hair.

You must be the girl with a pretty flower in her hair.

So, do you know how much a polar bear weighs?

Enough to break the ice?

I watched the Prime Minister messages, too, you know?

I have nothing else. I have no material.

That's everything I have.

It's unbelievable.

Oh, wait, wait, wait.

I got something.

Let's play the liar game. All you have to do is lie to me five times in a row.

If you tell the truth, you lose.

Lie to you?

Well, that's easy. I'm going to win.

Five times? Five times.

Okay. Okay.

Ready?

All right. Go.

All right. What's your name?

Juliana Costa.

Have you always had purple hair like that?

Always, since birth.

Where do you live?

Mexico.

How many questions was that?

Nine.

You've played this before, haven't you?

No. Got you. Got you with the fifth one.

You're such a good player.

Okay, so I see. So if you don't get them with how many questions was that set

of, you get them with over the confidence.

Clever.

I got another game.

Enough games.

Mr. Blind Date, I want to get to know the real you.

Well, for starters, what is your name?

And where are we going?

I am Tim Chismar, Timothy Chismar, and we are going to a magic hot tub.

You are as pretty as your flower, and I'm happy spending some time with you.

Thanks.

Magic hot tub, you say?

I can't even hear you!

It's so loud!

Oh my god, this is so freaking loud!

Let me just get these... Oh my god!

Ah!

Bobble, bobble, bobble!

Ah, it came back on! There it is!

Oh my god!

All these... Bobble, bobble, bobble!

I need... I need one of those little donuts from a fruit chip!

I'm a trout!

Your first day with me is your last day with me.

That's my gift to you.

Oh, my God. This is exactly what we needed. Oh, yes.

So, is it Tim Chismar, Timothy Chismar, or Timmy

Chismar? That one. The last one.

Timmy. That's right. I'm a teddy bear.

No, I don't know who Timmy is.

Don't ever call me Timmy.

Oh, my God.

I am Tim Chisbar.

And my father was Timothy Chisbar.

So, that's all you need to know about me. So, what about you, Luce Padilla? I

know about you working the job at the designer label factory.

Coming up with me. Ever so creative job of butt slogans. And then you...

I don't do. And then you got fired.

Worst butt slogan person ever.

And now you're working for SK. And she says you're the best employee she's ever

had. You are great with customers and moving your art and sales. And just you

genuinely care about people in Newfoundland. And I'm curious, have you

been this compassionate?

Oh, God, no.

I was very self -absorbed in university.

But then I got a job working.

at an inclusive camp with disabled kids and i went in to work uh

for daycare but then i got bumped to working with teenagers uh which i did

plan for i got asked to do bathroom duty which included

showering and wiping butts which i Tim, I did not prepare for that. Well,

no shit. You didn't do it, right? You left. You took some other jobs. No, I

mean, I wanted to, but some of those kids were going to lose out on their

there because I was one of the only female counselors.

So it was really important I stayed.

Wow. So you did it.

Yeah.

I mean, I haven't done much with my life, so.

But. That was one of the most rewarding experiences in my life.

I felt like I really made a difference, you know?

Well, it's your turn to talk now.

So you did stand -up comedy for a while. How come you stopped?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

It was the money. It was inconsistent.

And I remember this one girl I dated.

She loved the fact that my name was on the marquee and I was touring with

celebrities and, like, that was all really attractive.

But, you know, when things were rough and I was broke,

it wasn't as attractive. I remember...

I remember this one time we were going through a fast food joint. We were going

through the drive -thru. And when we got up to the window to pay for it, she

ordered a chicken sandwich.

And she looked at me.

And I looked at her.

She looked at me.

And I looked at her.

And the realization on her face.

That her boyfriend couldn't afford her chicken sandwich will stay with me

forever.

Well, it's just like a woman with unrealistic expectations.

You know?

Like chicken sandwiches.

What?

You don't feel my pain at all?

I'm not made out of money for chicken sandwiches?

Hey, great idea of bringing up excess smooth operator.

Anything else you want to tell me about her?

Yes. Yes, I do.

It's not done yet. Oh, great. She also was not a nudist. She didn't get this at

all. Well, most textiles don't. My boss didn't.

Yeah, well, so my friend.

Dave and Chrissy invited me to their wedding. They were nudists, and they

getting married on a nude beach, and it was a big deal.

I got invited. I wanted to go, and she was not going, and she definitely did

want me to go.

Well, yeah, she probably thought it was one big orgy. Right.

So I missed it. I missed my best friend's wedding for my girl, and then

broke up.

And I'm still friends with Dave and Chrissy. They've been married for like

years. They have a daughter. They bought an RV park.

I just love them to death. And it's the biggest regret of my life that I missed

their wedding.

And so that's when I realized that I was not going to hide

who I am anymore.

And I was just going to stop wearing clothes because it's stupid.

I was not going to hide who I am. I am the naked guy.

Well, I think I'm liking the naked guy.

and mandolin.

Yeah.

You

think

it's time?

It's not me. I don't think so.

It's not me.

Oh, yes it is!

Hey, Bear Witch Project, where's your rosary beads?

What would your family think of you in the buffalo with a half -naked man on

your first date?

Everyone was right about you. I can hear them right now.

You don't deserve a woman like that. You'll never make her happy. She'll

you for a guy like me.

I get to interview Lavender. She's the biggest celebrity in the nudist

community. She's an author. She's a poet. She's done it all. And now I can't

believe it. I get to interview her for GFI.

That's awesome. And what I can't believe is people haven't heard of ClothesFree

.com, the largest, best nudist website on the Internet, or naturist. I mean,

it's for everyone. You can travel the world from the comfort of your home.

You can go to Europe, Mexico, all over the place. You can meet great people and

newscasters.

It's the best place to be if you're a nudist.

bike ride, and Clothes Free starts now!

I am Tim Chismar.

What is your name?

Raquel. Raquel, and?

Steven. Now, tell me, is this your first time at one of these events?

Mine is.

Yeah. It's really fun. Third.

Third time?

Third time.

What brought you guys out today? What made you want to be a part of this?

Well, I just love being naked and riding my bike. It's the two best things in

the world combined in one.

It sounds like the police department is pretty okay with the whole thing as long

as we're following legal rules, no nudity with the nudity.

Well, you know, just as long as people are not violating any laws, you know,

they're doing the constitutional thing out here today.

There you go.

Getting nude sounds pretty awesome either. I play volleyball, dude.

That's a lot of fun.

Except for when you dive.

That hurts.

This is a dynamic woman.

She's really taken the world by storm.

One year in Ann Arbor. How long have you been a nudist?

Oh, gosh, pretty much all my life. Okay, so you're one of us who are committed

to just being naked because we hate clothes.

Yeah, absolutely.

That's kind of what I thought.

Well, she knows this because on the boat there was this deal.

She was wearing something, and we were playing golf, and we bet her this. Now,

this explains Linda a lot.

We bet her if she won the miniature golf contest, she had to get naked. And she

mastered the game of whipped five of us, whipped all of us. And we all went, she

could have thrown the match, but she didn't. And in good sport, she then

remained naked the rest of the cruise. Yes, I did.

Okay.

I am Sarah Jane, and this is Naked Yoga.

Inhale, your back bend, up dog or baby cobra.

Welcome to Cooking Bacon Naked with Holly.

The first thing in cooking naked, I think most people ask, is don't you get

burned, especially while cooking bacon?

Not so fast, folks. This is a quick, easy way to make sure you don't burn

biscuits while cooking.

Hey, Holly.

Hey, darling. How are you doing?

I'm bringing in some more wine.

Oh, you know me. I love cooking with wine.

Wow, it smells delicious in here.

What are you cooking?

Oh, I'm making some lasagna. This is Robin. She's letting me use her kitchen

today.

What are you doing here?

Oh, my God. That smells amazing.

Heck, yeah, it does.

You going to come by later and try it?

That's an invitation?

Of course.

Because I'm kind of like a vampire. If you invite me in, I might never leave.

That's true.

Actually, wait. Should I invite him in?

Definitely, for sure. And that's why I was such a fan in the United States. I

would watch every episode. I couldn't wait to get involved.

And so to actually be here, guys, it's just amazing.

Well, Tim, we're glad to have you join us.

Thank you, man. Oh.

What? Here she comes. Oh, God.

Scene 27, take 733.

Lavender. Oh, my God. It's so great to meet you in the flesh. Please, please

join me. Have a seat.

I'm so excited. You know, the Close Free fans have been just sending all these

questions on the forums. I have so many questions to ask. I can't wait to get

started.

Tim, Tim, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut.

I'm sorry. We've got an issue. The hamster fell off the wheel.

Again? I've been looking for him all night. It's been crazy. The flux

not quite getting up to speed. Sorry, Lavender.

We'll get this sorted out quick.

Okay. I'll be right back.

Okay.

What are you going to do with technology?

But, wow.

Hey, are you okay? You look like you're going through something.

Wow, you picked up on that?

I think I did, yeah.

I can't hide anything from Lavender. Yes, I started dating this beautiful

She always has a flower in her hair. Her name is Luce Padilla, and I am...

Falling in love with her, I think, and it's so early, and I'm being honest, and

she's sharing things, and I'm sharing things, and I've never felt this kind of

connection before, and I just know that I'm going to screw it up.

I always find a way. I find something beautiful, and then I muck it up.

Hey, I think I might have a poem for you.

Do you want to hear it? An original poem from Lavender?

Yeah.

About love? You think it would help me?

I think so.

Well, you probably have a lot of poems. It would probably be hard to find it,

right? Let's see.

Let's see.

Oh, it's right here.

It's called Passion.

Let's read that.

Passion.

Passion comes but few times in life.

The coming of age, new love, renewed love, conceived love, our wage.

There are sparks in the air filled with rage.

as if two lions were trapped in a cage.

When passion possesses one's soul, it is evil. The depths one will take to

control the emotion, to find you only, will make you go away as you struggle

shiver and shake.

To make it come back, only to wake, only to know.

We can't control passion.

Okay, I think I get it. I get it now.

Yeah, that's good.

Good, Jim. Thank you, Lazarus.

Oh, jeez!

Found a hamster.

Got him tied to a string to his clock tower. If there was a lightning storm

going on, you would not believe... Oh, I'm sorry.

We're good to go, okay?

Good to go.

Oh, my God.

Okay, all right, if...

If he says we're good, I hope he's all right. Geez.

I'm all right. Well, it's me. It's him. It's TIM for Clothes Free International.

I'm sitting here with Lavender, the poet, the author. You know her. You love

her. I've got a lot of questions to ask her. Let's get right down to it.

Lavender, thank you for joining us today.

Happiness, where are you?

Oh, happiness, don't you love me too?

Oh, happiness.

Where are you?

I looked around and around. I looked up, I looked down. I can't

understand.

Welcome, friends. Thank you for joining me. I really appreciate you guys all

being here with me. Thank you so much.

I'm going to show you a couple demos how we're going to start off on the wheel,

some foundation, some basic sets to how we can get the throwing.

That's what this is. This is a pottery wheel, ceramic wheel. This is some nice

clay, and we're going to get to throwing some basics. So I don't want any air

bubbles. So air bubbles are when I take a piece of clay like this. Go ahead and

start the wheel.

I'm going to put a little bit of water here, not a whole lot, just enough to

suction going, and I'm going to go ahead and slam it down.

My left elbow is locked in for strength. I'm going to lock it in, and I'm going

to bring it up. Now, I control the speed here, and I want the speed going fairly

fast. This is going to be full speed.

I don't need that much power yet. I'm not really dealing with that much clay.

I would use that much speed if I were working with larger amounts of clay

because you need that momentum to help you. A lot of the times what I see is

people get scared of, oh, my God, it's going fast and I can't control it. Oh,

God, you saw that one moment where my hands were kind of doing this?

That's why that elbow needs to be locked in.

I'm just going to go a little faster now so that you can see a little bit more

height on this, and then I'll cut this in the middle.

But you can see what that looks like here. So I'm pulling, I'm pulling.

I'm going to let go slowly because I feel friction.

And I have enough clay here that if I wanted to, I could pull some more, and

I'm going to.

And here's where I'm going to pop this open, let's hope.

A little bit more of a flare -up, hopefully.

I knew Mondo Man was right. He told me to tripod.

No.

As always, you should always try pot.

Ms. Skyler, you talked a lot about embracing, embracing the wrong.

Embracing the imperfection. The friction.

I don't know, it just made me think about life and love.

Would that work?

I guess advice in that too.

Advice in life and work. Well, I'll tell you, you know what? I've learned a lot

about myself through the clay.

Through the clay, I've learned to embrace my imperfections and my flaws

beauty because I am not.

a perfect figure but what is a perfect figure right i get to decide what a

perfect figure is you're beautiful i can see that you're really feeling this and

i i really appreciate you coming in to to embrace this and i can tell you when

you're connecting with a piece that you've made and you're making it you do

have to love it you do just have to embrace whatever flaws are coming at it

whatever's thrown at it that makes it want to disform or

make wrong or not be the best version of what you want you have to work with

what you have or what's being given to you and so you have to love it first you

have to accept yourself first right right before you can extend that to your

piece you know otherwise you're just going to sit there frustrated you're

to sit there always unhappy your piece is never going to look right If you're

just going after one image that you have, and where did you get that image

Did you get it from your pure seeds that you've been watering?

It makes sense. Yeah. It makes sense.

Thank you very much. Thank you so much.

I'll see you next time. Thank you. Be well. Thank you.

As always, I feel I am but clay in the potter's hands.

Moving on, moving in, tell me where do we begin?

How about at the end when you know we'll still be friends?

Friends to the end.

This leaving has nothing to do with you.

Everything to do with me.

Who I need to be.

Thank you.

Wow, she's great.

No, but really, it was just like that.

Anyway.

Uh -oh. Oh, hello.

I think we have some new noodles over here. Hello.

Hi. I love the ginger hair. How are you doing?

All right. That's great. All right.

That's great. Where are you from?

Oh, well, we're from San Francisco.

We decided to do a little nude sunbathing at Baker Beach and got

Officer Dumb Man. Have you guys ever heard of him?

Yeah, he's got me. He's got me.

Oh, God.

Will I ever see that Dumb Man again?

But remember, peace and love and sincerity.

It is very nice here, though. It's very nice.

Sometimes you take the wrong seat.

Exactly. Exactly.

It's quite beautiful here, though.

So, there is an upside to being arrested, I guess.

Thank you for joining us.

Hey, you. So you haven't said anything. You've been quiet the whole time.

Yeah, what's your story?

Y 'all want to know my story?

Back in the day, about three years ago, I...

Hey, what's up, crowd? It's your boy, Donnie Brooks, a .k .a. Young Money, and

I'm about to show you the newest track.

Let's get it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Let me hear you make some noise, America.

Yeah. Yeah, over there. Let's get it.

I'm feeling it. One, two, three. I know this is the gang. Hey, no, this is the

street. Y 'all can't feel me. Y 'all can't feel me. This derail me. Yeah,

yeah, yeah.

You know, I got to say, it looks like Luce is going to win.

It's a gift.

Who wants to take me to Las Vegas?

Baby, I would take you anywhere.

Oh, I bet you will.

Well, that being said, I happen to have Bob Saget's favorite hand. You guessed

it.

I got it, dude.

I don't count lucky loose out for nothing.

I know she got the trick up her sleeve if she had any.

Four of a kind.

You lost, Sue Bear.

What is that? How is that even possible?

By the first time I get to say, put your pants on.

This game of reverse strip poker is rigged.

Rigged. Rigged. Look at this. I'm putting on...

Unbelievable.

All right, queens, time to go.

Hold up, I'm here. I'll give my ride to someone. Oh, thanks.

Hold up. You guys cannot leave like this, you pervs.

Unbelievable.

There better be a pile of clothes right by that door.

God, weirdos. Unbelievable.

Don't look at me. I'm fully clothed.

This is so awkward.

You're objectifying me.

I feel so objectified.

Oh.

You won.

You actually don't have to.

The bedroom is that way.

I don't know what we're doing.

It's the power of the past. What is the key?

be so vulnerable.

I don't want to lose you.

I'm not going to anyone.

I want to be right here with you.

I want to make you happy.

You're safe with me.

I know.

I'm home.

I like that.

When I look at you, I'm just surprised that nobody else can see what a good

person you are.

You're the best person in the whole world.

You're my Luce.

I am.

A girl with a pretty flower.

And you're my Tim, the naked guy.

Look at you two Practically glowing

Not everyone gets a happy ending.

I hear that streaker is still out there streaking.

The streaker! I can't look.

I can't take it anymore. This is who I am.

Oh, no!

Oh, God.

What do we have here?

The streaker.

Like wearing clothes?

Yes, sir.

Well, I'm going to take you with the people of your kind. Let's go.

Yeah.

Do you think other people are as happy as we are?

We're pretty happy.

Do you think we'll always be this happy?

You look like you have something to say to me.

I do.

I wanted to say this.

from the first time I ever met you, when I dated you, fell in love with you, all

that good stuff.

Will you be my naked bride?

Forever and ever?

Forever and ever and ever and ever and ever. Of course.

Or I should say I do.

Yes, you should.

As long as my evil twin sister doesn't show up and ruin the wedding. Or your ex

-girlfriend still has feelings for you and decides to be a naturist.

It's going to happen.

It's gonna happen.

It's that kind of movie.

It really is.

Tim! Are we here? Hi!

I decided that I love the whole philosophy of being naked.

together forever and ever and ever and ever!

I lose.

Can our heroes overcome this shocking conclusion?

Tune in next time for more of The Noodles of Newland.

So I was shocked when I got the news that my childhood best friend and, most

importantly, my accountant from the United States got engaged.

I was going to tell him the good news, and he scooped me.

Well, do you know this girl he's marrying?

Guy? No, I heard really good things. I think she's a scientist or something.

A scientist? Oh, man. Oh, Brady.

I worry we'll have anything in common.

Eric!

Eric! Hey, I thank you for indulging us nudists. I know this isn't really your

thing. You know, you don't have to put up with this, usually.

Uh, see, Tim, that's the thing. I, uh... Ooh.

Well, you know, because for us, it's a lifestyle. And there's lots of families

here in Nudeland that this is what they do, but this isn't something you're ever

going to have to put up with in your life, you know?

Uh, Tim.

Certain things have happened in my life since last I saw you.

Tim told me all about how much he respects how in love you are with Skye.

two sound like the perfect match.

I can't imagine there's ever been any shocking revelations you need to

I can't imagine.

I used to think that, too. But then recently, my life took me for a turn.

just think...

Not just me, my whole awesome family.

I mean, I was worried about Eric at first, but he took it like a champ, and

become just one more thing that I love about him.

Oh, and us, we can overcome anything.

You know, Love Conquers All isn't just a slogan.

When I found out about Skye's family, I realized I loved her enough that I

wanted to be a part of it no matter what.

in these times, and that's just great.

That is so shocking and unexpected.

I imagine that this whole scenario, it's probably worthy of a show of its own.

That's what I'm thinking.

So, what's next for you crazy kids?

The wedding, of course.

Looks like it could be a double wedding.

Hey!

Well, you both will pass the fire.

to enter Newland now, so I hope we can expect you at our wedding.

Oh, yeah, and I guarantee our wedding will not be in Iceland. We'll update

everyone with next steps soon.

I have so many ideas for the ceremony.

Aw. I gotta say, yeah, Eric, you are amazing. You're such a cool guy. This

makes you even cooler, and you gotta promise me that we're all gonna get

together again real soon.

Uh, at this point, I can definitively state...

You'll never know where you see us next.

Here is Timmy, not close -minded, looking for love, wants to

find it. Let's meet Luz, woman of fashion, but then got fired

for her nudist passion.

There's a place of sun and sand, au naturel, they call it

Newdland. It's parts unknown, it's a new day.

And they are naked but not afraid of body positive land.

The noodles of nude land.

The noodles of nude land.

Nude isn't lewd.

With the noodles of nude land.

There's barbed wire tough as an army vet.

With no uniform to absorb her sweat.

And hippy -dippy Mondo Man.

Obsessed with burritos, I don't understand.

Also Journey, an artsy sister.

Shining her light to Mrs.

and Mr.

If you're clothes -free, avoid demon's eyes. Maybe chunky dunk or hide in

the vines. The noodles of New Zealand.

The noodles of New Zealand.

Animals don't wear pants.