Original subtitles

I came to a place where the Lord was

laid, and the blessed by His

truth.

When in the low voice I heard

something say, How sweetly I sleep

here alone.

The tempest may howl and the loud thunder

roar, and gathering storm may arise.

But calm is my spirit and rest

is my soul.

The tears are all wiped from my eyes.

I have no idea where he is.

I'm sorry.

Harry thought you might... Harry thought?

Harry doesn't think. Harry doesn't know what he's talking about. Harry doesn't

even know my name. It isn't Danielle.

That's what I say. What I say is, Harry does not know my name.

I'm sorry. Why does he not know my name? Why is it that Harry doesn't know my

name, huh? I don't know. You'd have to ask Harry that.

The call of my master compelled me from

home. No kindred or relative nigh.

I met the contagion and sank

in the tomb.

My soul flew to mansion on high.

What is he doing anyway?

Harry.

You look very much like your father when he was your

age. Do you know that? Yeah, I do. People tend to say that.

Is that what people say to you? You look very much like your father? Yeah,

that's what people tend to say on a very regular basis.

You do?

You look very much like your father.

He's hanging around.

Now you confuse me. I thought he was dead.

I thought he died years ago. Nine years ago, yeah. Harry, he's hanging around,

you know?

No, I don't know.

All I know is that he keeps forgetting my fucking name. I mean, I was married

the guy.

True. It was 20 years ago, but I was still married to the guy.

You know, the least he can do is remember my name. But does he remember

The hell he does.

He calls me Danielle.

Every fucking Christmas, he sends me a fucking Christmas card. Dear Danielle,

writes me every year.

I wish you a very merry Christmas, and I hope you will get better, too.

What does he think I have?

Flu? I will not get better.

I'm ill. I will die. And then I tell you, he better not, he better not put

Danielle on my gravestone, or I will come back to haunt him. Haunt.

You just note me. I will come back and hunt him down and shoot him if he does

that. I will not be caught, Daniela. Fucking great, though. Okay, 20 years.

Harry must have been 16 then. Maybe, maybe.

It was 12 years ago. It feels like 20, I can tell you.

He's into music now. Oh, is he now?

He's into music now.

Yeah, he's mixing some track, you know, laying them down.

He's laying them down.

He's not even a musician.

No, I know, but you know.

You should ask Werner. Werner?

Yes, you should ask him. Who's Werner?

Werner knows everybody.

He will know where George is.

He will? Oh, I'm not guaranteeing you anything.

But I'm telling you who knows people around here and who doesn't.

I don't know people around here.

I'm ill.

I'm going to die.

And I don't get out anymore. But you are not two people I don't know. They know

people. Once you get to the people who know people, you get to somebody who

know where this George friend is of your father's. And once you know that, you

will know more.

Maybe.

Maybe.

Maybe, maybe, not maybe.

What are you? A sausage?

You have to try things in life. What else are you living for? Give him a

And tell him I told you to call him.

If he hangs up on you, you just have to ring him again.

He does that sometimes. Make a joke with people.

It doesn't mean it's bad.

You wouldn't want to give him a call now?

I don't know. Introduce us, would you?

At 11 o 'clock. Werner, it's not us at 11 o 'clock. Werner is a man who knows

people. He gets them out.

I have an appointment now with my doctor.

Bastard. He doesn't think that I'm going to die.

He says I have 10, 20, 30 years in me yet.

He doesn't know a thing. What is he?

A quack.

That's what he is.

But you, go and have some lunch, and then you wait half an hour, and then you

call Ben.

At half past two.

Just tell him I told you to call him. He's a friend of mine, too. You know.

Yeah. Okay.

Um... Yeah.

What exactly is your name?

Oh, for fuck's sake.

You will have a long life.

Your lifeline is long and already dear.

Thank you.

Don't take it as a compliment. It's not that.

And nobody says it's going to be happy.

Is that you?

Oh. Um, Harry.

Um... Long time.

Harry, what the hell is going on?

Please call me.

Call me.

You know my number. I know you do.

And it's not Danielle.

I think it's important.

I agree.

I didn't know we had ants.

One ant.

When you have one, you normally have several.

Who says this is a normal ant, Conrad?

Maybe it isn't. Could be a special ant.

What makes you think this ant is special, Theo?

I don't know. There's something about it, Conrad.

And the moment seems significant.

Consequential, even? Maybe momentous.

All moments are momentous, Theo, aren't they? Some more so than others.

Maybe we should adopt it.

The end.

We could adopt it, but then it would no longer be free.

Maybe it doesn't want to be free.

Doesn't it?

Maybe it just wants to be loved.

We could adopt it and love it.

Mum.

Oh, Harry.

Hey, Harry.

I know, seven times.

Oh.

Oh,

fucking bastard shit.

Fucking bastard shit. Cunt.

Shit. Yeah.

Harry, I'll be there.

Yeah.

That was your mum's phone, but it was Harry.

Wasn't your mum.

This heart, this heart, this heart, this heart

of mine doesn't always

shine.

Them words, them words, all them words,

them words from you.

See I'm, yeah I'm, you know

I'm, I'm on a wire of my own.

There's no net below.

Great stakes of each break, each break,

one day.

I'll dance in, let them in.

Love is a gift to the heart that holds it.

You can keep all of that if you want.

This? Yeah.

Have you got a projector?

For that? No.

Mum didn't have one.

I don't think so.

Then why's she got this?

She just did.

You know, she just had stuff. We all do.

We need to get hold of the projector.

Well, the cinema's got one. Has it?

My brother's got one.

Ivor? He's got a cinema?

No. He's got stuff too, you know?

Projectors and stuff.

He's a stuff kind of person.

Hello there baby, how do you do?

I just want to call you up and have a word with you But your voice don't sound

as sweet as before Maybe it's because you don't love me no more But now I

feel foolish, now I feel blue Feel like a child trying to get along with you

Hello there, baby.

How do you do?

I just wanted to call you up and have a word with you.

But your voice don't sound as sweet as I recall.

Maybe it's because you never loved me at all.

But now I feel foolish.

Now I feel down.

Feel like a lonesome, dumb and love -struck clown.

Well, that was quite something.

Cheers, Ives. That was well worth it. Can you run it again? What's up now?

Want to check something?

Can I borrow your phone?

You look remarkably like your dad.

He's older than me.

Not much. He's your age.

Much older than I am.

I'm marginally older than you.

And much, much more than that. Hello there, baby.

I'm thinking of you.

Looking out my window here at the full moon.

It drives me crazy. I'm halfway up the wall.

Just wanted to spend this night with you, but that's all.

But now I feel foolish. Now I feel down.

Feel like a king lost without a crown.

Now I feel foolish. Now I feel down. Feel like a lonesome, dumb and love

-struck clown.

Now I feel foolish. Now I feel blue.

Feel like a child, child in love. Stop it.

What's interesting?

This.

Ouch.

Where's my mother?

28. At the most. The loo.

I'm interested in the least. How old is he at least?

20? You said he looked older than me.

24. 5.

So between 24 and 28.

23 and 27.

Thereabouts.

Broadly.

Approximately. I'm already here.

Here? In this world.

I'm already here.

My mom's here.

My dad's here.

And my dad has the hots for somebody else.

No idea.

No idea, I wouldn't know.

Yes, you were. You're right here.

Yeah.

I mean, I was there, but I wasn't really there.

No.

I must have been, what, your age, something like that.

That's why I was there. I just wasn't in the picture.

You were his dad's mate.

Mm -hmm.

Yeah, but I don't even know whose party this is.

Unless it was Eva's legendary first year.

Who's Eva?

Eva was my ex -wife's lover at the time.

She threw this almighty basket where anything went and pretty much everything

went wrong.

I think we even had someone in the river at one point. But that could be her

behind the camera for all I know.

Eva. But you would have been, I mean, a few months, a year old, two maximum.

So if it was Eva, she would know who she'd invited?

I wouldn't bank on it. Like I say, we're talking 17, 18 years ago.

You were 20?

Almost. And Dad was your best mate?

Yeah, you could say he's my best friend. And he was, what, 24,

25 when he had me, so... No shit, Sherlock.

Cheers, Harry.

You're to me what Dad was to Harry.

I'm not going to let you get my girl.

You don't have a girl, Brent.

I'm still not going to let you get her. You don't even know if you want one.

Either he knows who it was but doesn't want you to know, or he doesn't know who

it was and doesn't want you to know either.

Or... He doesn't know and doesn't care who it was.

Or he's just blocking it out like a bad memory. Why would he be blocking it out

like a bad memory?

You're his what?

Stepson? They weren't married.

Why not?

How do I know? Maybe he didn't want to. Why not?

I don't know. He's been married before. Maybe he's been traumatized. Unfinished

business. What?

Well, he wanted to marry your mom, but he couldn't. Conrad, he's just my mom's

man. That's all.

Okay. Well, think it through.

You're a bunch of friends in your mid to late 20s. Early 20s in Harry's case.

Early 20s in Harry's case.

You're married to this woman and she has or has had a lover who now celebrates

her 30th birthday. I don't think they were married.

Well, maybe not. Maybe that's where they met. Maybe that's where they met.

Harry and his ex -wife who then had a lover. Who now celebrates her 30th

birthday.

So she's older than everyone else.

She's a little older than everybody else. She's a lot older than Harry.

You're obsessed with age all of a sudden. What's got into you?

I'm hitting 20.

So your best mate is there with his wife who's recently had a baby.

Whatever things honky -tonk, except, except your best mate is getting off

somebody else, in full view of everybody and on camera.

Your best mate's wife does not see the funny side of it.

Ten years pass, and your best mate, the man in the middle, dies.

This party, it must have been the early 90s.

I'm already here. That makes a hell of a difference.

It does?

Not really.

The only thing what matters is your best mate died.

And after a while, you and your best mate's wife, who is now a widow, get it

together. But you don't get married.

For reasons we've already established, you don't get married.

We haven't established why they didn't get married.

Can we focus on one thing at a time here? You brought it up. Oh, yeah. And

letting it go.

See how I'm letting it go?

There it goes.

Gone. For the time being.

For the... I could jump off this roof here, but it would be deeply unsubtle.

ahead. I'm with you. No, no, no. We're not going to go. With the story.

With the story.

You come along. I come along. Said best mate's son.

Baby that back then had recently been born.

Who now wants to find out who the other woman was.

I don't see the problem.

Why would he need to block that out? Because. Like a bad memory.

Because they're embarrassed.

She can't have been that ugly.

Who can't have been that ugly?

The woman behind the camera. How do you know it was a woman?

I don't.

It could have been an alien.

Yeah, I suppose.

Not likely, but I suppose it could.

That would have been kind of cool, wouldn't it? If it had been an alien.

Yeah.

Except... Except... Your mum didn't have a projector.

So she may not have seen the film.

But... But she saw who shot it. Yeah. And she saw Dad. He did. So she knew.

And if she knows... Harry knows.

Blackjack. But it's a long time ago, Theo.

And they're both gone now, right? The number three isn't gone.

I don't know. You do know.

You know who it is?

Look, when your dad... Look, when Jamie died, your mom made me promise that I'd

find the film for her.

And the pictures.

There are pictures?

There were.

And I did. I found them and I gave them to her. But your mom threw them away.

She didn't throw away the real? No.

Why?

Because Jamie was really happy in it.

And it's the only time we ever really saw him that happy.

So you watched it?

We watched it.

What?

And you can't tell me you made my dad happy.

Your mom made me promise I wouldn't.

Fucking hell.

Mum kept the reel.

So did you. You kept the reel.

All this time.

Mum dies.

We knew she was going to die. You'd have had ample time to start sorting through

stuff, but you kept it.

You asked me, you even said to me, do you want to come over and pick up any of

your mum's stuff?

And right there among my mum's stuff is this reel.

You knew it was there.

You put it there. Or at any rate, you didn't take it away.

You knew what was on it. You knew if I saw it, I would want to watch it. And if

I watched it, I would see my dad happy. And if I saw my dad happy, I would want

to know why.

But you promised, ages ago, my mum not to tell.

Where is this Eva?

I honestly don't know.

Nothing? No number, no email address? You're not friends on Facebook?

All I have is an old landline number from Budapest. Can I have it?

Well, she lived 20 years ago. Can I have it?

Okay.

There's something else, isn't there?

There's something else to this.

I know you.

You and your cryptic crosswords and tangential problems and 20 -year -old

numbers you remember by heart.

I'll work it out, Harry.

Don't you worry.

I'll work it out.

No answer.

Don't.

She may be hard of hearing.

Living in a big house.

A tall house.

She doesn't hear the phone at first.

Maybe.

Then she does.

She's old and frail. She's 50. She's old.

She makes her way down the stairs.

She gets there, to the bottom of the stairs, where her old -style phone hangs

the wall, with a dial like that of a Bette Davis film.

She reaches for the receiver.

Hello?

Ah, hello.

I'm Theo.

Theo.

I'm Harry's stepson, sort of.

Well, I'm Harry's partner's son.

I'm looking... I was wondering whether you could help me find somebody.

I'm trying to find someone who was at your birthday party about 20 years ago.

Who? What?

Sorry. George Waters.

Ask George Waters.

He made all the best parties there.

He made mine.

And he never forgets a person. If he invites you, if he likes you enough to

invite you to a party, then he remembers you. He has memory like an elephant.

And do you know where I can find this George person?

Ask Danielle.

And who is Danielle?

Danielle is the ex -wife of Harry.

Oh.

And do you happen to know where I can find Danielle?

I don't anymore.

But Harry...

George. He's famous.

He's written a book.

You've never heard of him? You've never heard of him.

Well, he wasn't a friend of my dad's, was he?

Critical acclaim.

Translated into major languages.

Near cult status.

What does that mean, anyway?

Near cult status.

Does it mean people nearly queued up overnight to go to the book signing, but

couldn't be quite positive?

Well, they queued up overnight.

Slept in their sleeping bags, had a line and missed the whole thing.

Or they got to the top of the queue and couldn't afford the book, so they just

left. Or he was in the top 50 best -selling titles for three consecutive

And you don't know who he is?

Following its publication in 1998, I was eight.

Hello?

Ah, yeah, I did, yeah. Sorry to have woken you up.

Oh, I didn't wake you up. Ah, great.

Yeah, I know it's 11 o 'clock, it's just that... No, no, no, no, I'm not

suggesting you're a lazy layabout or anything like that.

Theo. My name's Theo.

I'm the son of Harry's friend, Jamie.

Harry's ex -wife told me to... Yeah, I know she's not actually called Danielle.

I don't know what her real name is either.

Yeah.

Yeah.

She thought you might know where I can find George Walter.

Can you take a train to Basel? Yeah.

Yeah, of course I can. Just take the next train to Basel, and when you get to

Basel, you call me, all right? Sure. No problem.

Not before.

When I get to Basel. How tall are you?

Sorry? Your father wasn't very tall, was he?

About average.

So you're about average, too?

More or less.

Okay, fine. See you later. Ciao, ciao.

See you later, then.

Ciao, ciao.

Hello, Werner. I've just arrived at the station.

I know.

Look straight ahead.

Hello, young man.

Young man!

Have you got any identification?

This way.

Danielle is a crazy woman. Don't believe the things she says. Especially not her

name. What exactly is her name?

I don't know, my friend, but it certainly isn't Danielle.

That's what she's saying. Don't believe her.

No, that's what she's saying.

She's saying Danielle isn't her name.

I'm sure it isn't.

She gets upset about it.

There's no reason to get upset about it.

Danielle is a perfectly decent name.

Much more decent than, let's say, Lolita.

You're a handsome boy, you know.

Your father was a very handsome man. You look a lot like him. I know. I get told

that a lot.

Yeah, people must tell you this all the time. They do. I get pretty tired of it.

Well... Go on.

You can be honest with me.

You're hungry, aren't you?

Hungry? Yeah, don't you want to eat?

I... Why don't you go by the river?

I will invite you.

That's... We eat, and then you can tell me while you're in Basel.

I'm in Basel to see you.

Exactly. You can tell me why you're in Basel while we eat. I don't mind. You

like salsiccia?

George Walter.

Yes, I know him.

He's a very unusual man.

You find him intriguing.

And do you know where I will find him? Of course I don't know that.

Nobody knows where to find him.

George Walter?

But don't worry, young man.

I'll make some inquiries.

You will?

Of course I will.

Thanks. First wheat.

Then we have long, passionate sex.

And then I'll make a few inquiries.

I'm only joking.

Who do you take me for?

I will make one or two phone calls first.

Then we will have long, passionate sex.

I'm still only joking.

You need to have more sense of humor, my friend.

You're an English boy, aren't you? You're supposed to find things funny.

Cornish.

Sorry? I'm from Cornwall, originally.

Are you saying that people in Cornwall have no sense of humor? Oh, no, they do.

You young people.

You're so bloody serious.

You have to lighten up.

I'll show you something.

First we eat, then we have coffee, then we smoke. Then I'll show you something.

Don't worry, it's not my cock.

Tell me, why are you looking for your father now?

I'm not looking for my father.

What are you looking for?

I'm looking for somebody who knew my father.

Why?

Because I didn't. Oh.

That's a good enough reason.

To look for somebody who knew your father because you didn't?

Everybody should know their father.

After all, he's half of your genetic makeup.

That's good.

You're not afraid, are you?

Of what? Of anything.

Water.

Sharp objects.

The unexpected.

The dark.

Not really, no.

Heights?

No, I can handle heights.

Can you handle loaves?

I get by.

Young loaves.

They're very different to old loaves.

If you can handle young loaves, believe me, you can handle anything.

They're the worst.

That would be a loaf, wouldn't it?

What would? The opposite of a height.

That would be a loaf.

Are you in love?

Who with?

Somebody. Anybody.

No. That's good.

Why is that good?

Because it gets in the way.

Of what?

The truth.

What truth?

Whatever the truth may be.

Have you ever been in love and had the truth and nothing but the truth?

I'm 19.

You're quick, Theo. I like that.

You must be hungry again by now.

Come on.

Let's go and have another sausage.

You do like your sausages, don't you?

Yes, but only to eat.

Always remember this.

A sausage is something to eat, not something to be.

Yeah, of course I know George. But?

But, I don't know where he is.

You have no phone number, no email.

He was your friend.

Yeah, George is everybody's friend.

And?

And look, if Eva says that Danielle is the person to ask, then Danielle is the

person to ask. She followed him to Switzerland.

She followed him?

Yeah, well, pretty much.

After we broke up.

She left you for him?

No, I didn't say that.

But she did.

No, not as far as I'm aware.

And she knows how to find George Walter?

No one's seen George for years.

I mean, even his agent doesn't know where he is. How many years?

Ten, maybe more.

Ten years, exactly.

Ten, maybe more. More or less.

Since Dad... I'm going to Europe.

There's a weirdness about all this, which just seems a little too studied.

You're not telling me everything you know.

Eva doesn't know everything you're telling me, and obviously the only

can shed a light on it is this mysterious George.

who happens to be in Switzerland.

Theo, I know Switzerland is a small country, but you're not going to just

into them there, are you? How do you know?

Fair point. I don't.

Maybe you'll just bump into them there with the cows and daffodils.

Edelweiss. Well, I'm sure they have daffodils. Boys.

Do you think it's stupid?

No. No, I don't think it's stupid. It's adventure.

Mum's left me some of her savings, hasn't she?

Yeah, she's left you all of it.

Can you lend me in advance?

All right, hang on.

Jesus!

I'm not emigrating to New Zealand.

What are you, a drug dealer?

Who carries this amount of cash?

It's just potatoes from last night.

Say hi to Daniel for me.

I will.

If you do go to Zurich you're gonna You'll be going back. You'll be going

into the past and you know and you'll go back further and further into your own

history and you may even disappear in What I mean is

don't be afraid of it

All right, and take care of everyone you meet and everything you find because

they're all part of your dad and so they're all part of you.

Come on, come here.

All right, are you going to go with him?

I've got life, mate. I can't just drop everything and go to Switzerland.

Well, maybe it's better that way.

Why?

Well, this way doesn't look like a quest.

A quest?

Hurry.

He looked me up. I got him in touch with Werner.

I don't know what he has.

You know Werner.

He pulls a few strings, he makes a few calls.

He's properly known all along.

I wouldn't put it past him.

No, and I didn't ask.

Because I don't need to know where George Walter is.

Over him, Harry.

Contrary to what the majority of people seem to think, I was never actually

under him.

I'm all right, thank you. The doctors say I'll be all right, so I'll probably

all right.

I suppose.

No, I won't.

Because the only person who needs to know where George Walter is, is Theo.

Theo.

Yes. Is he gone?

I took a ride late last night, deep into that countryside.

None other thing I ought to do, pending on

my mind, pending on my mind.

George Walter?

Theo?

Yeah.

You're Jamie's Theo.

Eva, Danielle, Werner.

You took that with Werner.

He didn't tell you I was coming?

He couldn't. Not unless he came here first.

You really have no phone?

There's a phone in the village.

Left from the Harrod Wall.

No internet.

No mobile.

No connection with the outside world.

I reckon if the outside world needed me, it would come and find me.

And it did.

The tide is rising fast.

You haven't asked me why I'm here.

Why much are you going to tell me why you're here?

Yeah.

Whenever you're ready.

There's no rush.

Up here, time doesn't really pass so much. It's amble.

I get the impression.

I get the impression this is the kind of place where you shouldn't rush things.

You should never rush things.

Here you come.

They're shooting rounds off at my feet.

They're shooting rounds off at my feet.

They're shooting rounds off at my feet.

They're shooting rounds off at my feet.

Every time I gain some ground, something turns me

back down.

The cuckoo's been breeding in the robin's nest.

It's just a law of love, I guess.

I'm pending on my mind.

What hold you and I?

Eva who got me in touch with Danielle.

I remember Eva.

She thought you might know who this is.

It's your dad, Jane.

Eva thought you might know who this is behind the camera.

Who dad is looking at.

Oh, that's me, Joel.

I'm not serious. I'm not humorous. I'm factual. Why?

This is you?

Behind the camera, yes.

It's my camera.

It's a party of some description. I can't remember what the occasion was.

30th birthday.

That sounds about right.

And you shot this?

I shot this with an old camera I'd inherited from my grandmother at the

yes. From Pupa Atheist, isn't it? It's a film.

Dad is looking at you.

Jane's looking at me, yeah.

So Jack was in love with you?

I see. I was in love with your dad.

Was it?

I was in love with Jamie and I stayed in love with Jamie.

It could well be that your dad, Jamie, was the only person I ever loved.

She An answer look back

That opens up a whole new set of

questions

Maybe time for some food.

You want to continue here for a bit?

Sure. It's really thin, like this.

No problem.

What?

Thanks, perfect.

Just continue.

I'm going to stay here for a while.

Alright. I don't have anywhere else to go.

Make yourself at home.

Cheers. As long as you don't expect me to entertain you.

I don't.

I don't cook.

Don't expect me to cook for you.

That's okay, I can cook for myself.

I'll cook for you too, if you like.

Anything you don't eat?

No, I eat everything.

Is that enough?

Yeah, that should be good timing.

What is it?

Nothing. It's just... your whole... being.

I'm ten.

I'm not my dad, George.

I know.

If you were, it'd be very freaky indeed.

You were ten when Jamie died.

Yes.

Now you're twenty.

Just about.

Welcome to the mountains, Theo.

What I don't get is why.

Why come here?

Why withdraw yourself from the world? Why tuck yourself away like some fucking

monk? Hermit. Hermit, then.

Why take yourself away from people?

Is that necessary?

Yes. Why?

Because the world keeps moving.

Accelerating.

Restless.

You can rest when you're dead, can't you?

Fath's been before, so it's him.

And? And he is. Good for him.

He's certainly resting.

By the time he was mine, he'd been dead for about ten years.

And this is living for you.

I wanted time to slow down.

Time was running away too fast for me.

I couldn't...

I didn't want to keep up.

I didn't want to have to keep running.

So you come here.

I came here.

And?

And.

Has time slowed down for you?

It has.

And it hasn't.

It has slowed down for me.

It feels like it's slowed down.

But in actual fact, when it's over, there's nothing to remember it by.

So you don't even notice you've had it. It's just gone.

And you think, where did that go?

Where did ten years go?

There's not one moment in ten years that turns out worth remembering.

In 10 years.

You weren't at Dad's funeral, were you?

No, I wasn't.

Why not?

I didn't want to upset anyone.

You didn't want to upset my mother.

I didn't want to upset anyone.

The only person you could have upset was my mother.

I didn't want to upset her, either.

You couldn't upset me, could you?

I didn't even know who you were.

And I doubt you could have upset Harry. He liked you.

He does?

Yes, some people like you.

That's very kind of them.

Do you want one?

No thanks.

What?

Nothing.

It wasn't an accident.

I know.

How do you know?

I know.

He could have chosen something.

Somebody, couldn't he?

He could not have chosen nothing, couldn't he?

Yes.

Yes, he could.

But he didn't.

Did he?

Do you mind if I turn in now?

No, of course.

Will you come to the edge with me, my love,

and hold my hand

in yours?

Or will you find another folly

and cast our love

adrift?

Well, my heart's been won, my love.

And my soul is waning too.

Will you come to the edge with me, my love?

Our love is so long.

Like molten steel inside my blood it's moving.

Centering on my true love's child.

No longer her hand will I be holding.

And if alone I stand here at the end

Well,

I'll sing no more to entertain or spy in

And I will dance no longer to

be free.

But I will sing for those who know a love that's

been lost.

And I will dance to her

And you think... And you think Dad killed

himself because of you?

I don't think that.

You never opened it.

I know what it said.

How?

I wrote it.

Is that handwriting?

Yes.

I don't get it.

Open it.

No, I can't live without you.

And as I can't live with you, I've decided it's probably best I

don't live at all.

It's so, so good knowing you.

And I've always dreamed.

What is this, a joke?

Ironically, yes.

It was meant to be a joke.

That's a thick, thick sense of humour you've got there.

It's a humour.

We laughed about it at the time. We found it funny.

He signed it.

Went to his desk, got an envelope.

I dictated to him my address and I forgot about it.

Until?

Until he posted it.

For Perot.

Why didn't you open it?

It could have been something different.

I so hoped all these years I hoped it would be something different.

But it isn't, is it?

Jesus.

Jesus.

If he... If he felt like that about you, then why...

Why couldn't he have lived with you?

Why?

I mean, he could have just left us, couldn't he?

Mum would have understood.

I mean, maybe not at first, but in time she would have coped. I would.

These kinds of things happen.

They happen.

You could have been around. You could have been like Uncle George.

It wouldn't have been that big a deal, would it?

No, it wouldn't have been that big a deal. But?

But I didn't bless him.

Bless him what?

Leave you and Alison and come and live with me.

What's he going to? He asked if he should.

I said no.

Why?

Because I didn't want to be responsible.

Responsible? What's happened to him, what's happened to Alison, what's

to you.

How long did he have there?

Nine years.

Just over nine years. Before he was parted.

Before I was born.

Before they were married.

Were you at their wedding?

Of course.

Were you best met?

We weren't.

You were the person he kissed at his wedding.

He told me this.

The one thing he told me about their wedding when I was about eight or nine

that he kissed someone else at their wedding, but that I mustn't tell anyone

else or Mum because it would make her cross.

It was the best secret ever.

And it was to you.

Did you have an affair?

No. In all these years?

No. Why not?

I didn't want to.

Neither did I.

So you never actually got it together?

It wasn't really about that.

It wasn't really about getting it together. Oh, come on, it's always about

Come on, it's always about that. You must have done that. You must have done

that.

Where do you draw a line of getting it together?

A kiss?

A cuddle?

The ability to sit in silence for hours and just... just be there.

For hours.

Does it have to be a buck to count?

Maybe we did get together and never quite realised it.

Why didn't you?

He didn't want to.

You wanted to.

It takes two to tango. What if he wanted to but didn't dare?

Oh, he would have plenty of opportunity.

We spent a lot of time together, your dad and I. And you never initiated

anything?

He likes it used to.

Of course not. Why not?

Maybe that's what he was waiting for. Maybe that's what he wanted.

If that's what he wanted, all he had to do was say so. Do you do that?

Tell people everything, exactly what you want? Do you just say so?

What did he want?

Everybody here more or less wants...

What, to be loved?

Yes. And he wasn't.

You loved him.

Exactly.

And that turned him down.

For marrying someone else?

For choosing something else.

He chose Alice.

But he chose life in the residential road at the front garden. He chose a job

and a car.

He chose you.

And none of it, none of it made him happy.

I certainly didn't.

Mum didn't.

You did.

It isn't just about happiness, Theo.

Everybody is unhappy sometimes.

But sometimes people get lost.

And then it may be just a case of luck, if there's something with that, to bring

them back to their power.

And you weren't there for him to hold on to.

I got to learn some letters from an old friend across

the border.

He writes his mind's been a -roving, but he's too scared to

make that step.

Oh, I got to walk on down.

I got to walk on down.

I see a big gray tomcat with his old bones on my tin

roof.

Here comes dear sweet Lily.

She leaves sunshine all about her feet.

I got to walk on down.

I got to walk on down.

Why did you come then?

Apart from the time thing.

Why are you here? To do what?

I mean, if you're not writing.

To think.

And are you thinking?

Yeah. What are you thinking?

I'm thinking, time passes, come what may.

I thought here it didn't pass so much as the anvil.

That's an illusion.

You should get yourself a mobile, George.

And the next time you have a question like that, text me.

I'll send you the answer straight away.

That's what I used to think.

What? That their answers are so obvious you could text them to someone straight

away. And what do you think now?

I think I know that the only thing that matters is what you actually do.

That, and the people you do it with, and who.

Again, mate, ask Theo.

I have.

And Theo came up with the answer. Both counts.

It only took ten years.

Well, I suppose you have the silence here, which is nice.

Yes.

But silence, too, is an addiction.

Silence and thoughts adrift.

The endless lure of inaction.

What do you actually live on?

Very little.

There's nothing to spend money on here.

Where does it come from, then?

Oh, I make two good decisions in my life.

Both eminently practical.

The first was to buy a great big flat in London with all the money that came in

when the book did really well.

Was it good?

The book?

It is. It's a masterpiece.

But?

Nobody really knows why.

Is that a problem?

It is for me.

Because you can't do it again?

Because you can't control it. Not even that. Not even your own genius.

You're a genius, are you? I have a genius.

It's not uncommon.

So do a lot of people. So do you. Very obviously.

Having genius is not unusual. It's getting the thing out of you that's

difficult. They recognised you?

Pure luck, that. Nothing else.

Can I read it?

Of course.

You can walk into any bookshop and buy it. It's never been out of print.

You can't lend me a copy?

Or give me one even, as a present, like? I don't have one.

Not one copy?

No.

Jesus, you are difficult on purpose, aren't you?

Why can't you keep a copy of your own world -famous book so somebody who

can read it?

I bet you don't even have it as a PDF.

No. You do know what a PDF is, though? Yes, I do.

And the other one?

The other what?

The other good decision you said there were two.

Oh, to keep it flat.

Not sell it, rent it out.

It's paid my way ever since.

Can we have breakfast now?

Yeah. Not bunterfleisch. I mean, I like bunterfleisch, but can we have a proper

fry -up?

You know what your problem is, George?

I wouldn't make rhetorical questions out of tears.

They are.

Your problem is you wallow in your own misery.

If you are, you're a miserable thump and you wallow in it.

You love every moment of it.

You think, ah, greatness. I had it, but I can't recapture it.

Ah, fame. I had it, but it's so crashy I don't want it.

Ah, love.

It was mine, but I didn't understand it, so it can never be understood.

Ah, wisdom. I wish I were wise, but I know that I'm not, so at least let's

pretend to be. You're an act.

And this whole thing is played out for you as the audience, because the world

out there, has moved on from you a decade ago. They don't even care. The

reason you got a Wikipedia entry is because there's some other sad middle

out there who's deluded enough to think that because he's read your book and

probably had a wank over it, a bit of your genius has rubbed off on him.

So he probably goes around lecturing on the inner psychology of your characters.

It's all one great big fucking annoying pile of shite because you're fucked up,

he's fucked up, I'm fucked up, my dad was fucked up.

And all because you people can't get to grips with reality, which is that the

world is full of people.

So if you find somebody, anybody you can relate to, who gets you, and I mean who

really gets you, like you say, who you can sit with and not say a word and know

exactly where they're at. When you find someone who is present, you can bask in.

That's your glow, isn't it?

Bask in.

Because they make you feel lovely.

warm, they make you feel good, and alive with a tingle. When you cry to someone

like that, you fucking well hold on to them, and you fucking well tell them

you want them, and you go to their fucking funeral if they're stupid enough

fucking die on you, that's what you do.

How the fuck can that be so difficult?

And what's that now?

First we have breakfast, then we get drunk.

Well,

I know you know, baby, I got nothing left to lose.

Well, I know you know, baby, I got nothing more to prove.

If I hear that long gypsy song, I may just make my move.

You know, I walked an hour across the city, a song in my head.

Yeah, I walked and I crawled this city of songs in my head.

Now I find myself standing at the water's edge.

Oh, but how can I explain to you, baby, something you already know so well?

How can I explain to you baby something you already know so well

You're on a fast -moving train babe, and

I'm learning to stand still

But if you ever need some company or time of mine, just call my name.

If you ever need some company or time of mine, just call my name.

You opened up your door to a poor boy out in the rain.

Yeah, you've eased me down, now I won't breathe upon you.

Yeah, you've eased me down, now I won't breathe upon you.

Your mistletoe kissing's so good for a heart torn in two.

You're willfully eccentric, aren't you?

Good morning.

This whole thing.

The lonely hut, the typewriter, the no mobile policy, the pipe, the vinyl for

fuck's sake. I mean, it's consistent, I'll give you that, but it's a cliché

it's an act.

Would you like some coffee?

Who is all this for?

Or maybe tea.

Coffee's better here, don't you think? It's for me, isn't it?

This whole thing. For you?

Yeah. You knew I was coming, so you put on this act for me.

You can have some hot chocolate if you like.

How old are you?

I bet you're not even that old.

I'm not?

No.

I bet you're underneath all this bristling scrag. You're actually quite

your age.

For my age? Yes. You're what?

Dad was 33 when he died, so he'll be 43 this year. So you're probably

48. I bet you're not even 50.

No, I'm not even 50. 46, 47, something like that? Very close.

Well, you look about 60.

You look like my grandad. He looks bad for his age.

Thank you.

It isn't a fucking compliment.

Sit down.

I'm not joking. Sit down.

I started to climb.

I started to climb. I started to climb when I could not see.

Mountaineer was cold.

Mountaineer was high.

Mountaineer would roll with a moving feet.

Well, if you want my advice, then you'd better not start climbing.

Mountaineer would roll with a moving feet.

That's how it come my way.

That's how it come my way.

That's how it come my way when I was just a boy.

Girls come up weighing, take me by the hand, saying, I love you, you love me.

This boat will never spring a leak.

Well, the very next thing I find, man, that a woman's left me way behind.

And I'm standing on the summit of a mountain with her moving feet.

You wrote it all down.

I did.

You okay?

What happened last night?

Does it matter?

I wasn't looking for it.

Sorry.

I was looking for tissues.

Arthral.

That would have made sense.

It's not a... It's not typed about, Jake.

Do you mind if I type this up for you?

Why?

Because if you want to give this to your agent, it needs to be typed up.

I don't want to give this to my agent.

I do.

And if this is the original and there's no copy, I don't think you should let me

this. I wasn't going to.

Whereas I reckon if I stay here, I can have this typed up in a couple of weeks

or so.

You want to stay here for another couple of weeks, do you?

If that's okay with you.

Yeah, that's okay with me.

Good.

You can make breakfast while I read this.

And then tonight I'll make dinner.

What do you want for breakfast?

Everything.

What?

Nothing. It's just... Why didn't you type this up?

Your handwriting is atrocious.

I ran out of ribbon.

But now you've got some.

No. I'm still out.

Then how do you expect me to type this up for you?

I don't.

The symmetry in one sentence.

Serendipity.

It'd make me blue to know

We're all alone

in the end I'm

coming up to meet your smile

Nothing blue except the

sky

I don't claim to know the truth.

But I've seen trouble there on your mind.

And a pooping dove and a howling wolf.

Calling our hearts and our...

I've shown you the bitter side.

I want you to know that I was lying.

But I don't want to make you cry.

Your heart is an ocean and it's a tide on mine.

I want to know.

I want to know why my father died.

Why I didn't have a father.

It's not too much to ask, is it?

Your father was ill, Theo.

And the illness finally got to him.

That's all.

Jamie... When people say, he's depressed or

I'm depressed, they've no idea how offensive they're being without the

intention to people who are actually clinically depressed.

Jamie... Jamie grappled with depression all his life.

Certainly for as long as I'd known him.

Often, though.

It took a while for me to realise it.

It was a lot of fun, your dad.

A brilliant black sense of humour.

He was up a lot.

And when he was down...

Jamie wasn't depressed about something or someone.

He was ill.

It's like a cancer of the mind.

Sometimes people who have cancer, they respond really well to treatment. The

cancer goes away, sometimes forever.

Sometimes it goes away for a while and then it comes back. Sometimes I suppose

it doesn't really go away at all.

It just depends on the person.

It's no different with depression.

They only want to say, oh, he's going to have cancer today when they're talking

about somebody who's feeling under the weather, do you?

They do say he's depressed because the cat has died.

It's nonsense, Theo.

Nonsense.

Jamie didn't kill himself over me.

Jamie wasn't in love with me.

He loved me as a friend.

He was in love with you.

He was happy with you.

You made him happy.

There.

You made him happy.

Not just a little happy. You...

You meant something to him. Of course I did. Then what the fuck are you doing

here?

Why the fuck are you pissing your own life away like this?

I've made so many mistakes in my life, and not one of them can be undone.

That doesn't make me unique.

Everybody makes mistakes.

Everybody fails somewhere.

Everybody has their own dark place.

It's just that... It's just that by going the way he

did, your dad decided to come with me to mine.

And then to Dave's.

So I felt I had to move out of my own life and find a...

find a real, physical place where...

Where I could be.

Where you could be with him?

Yeah, if you like.

George.

If Dad could hear you now, he'd be howling with laughter.

Yes.

It suggests he hasn't lost his sense of humour.

Inconceivable that there shouldn't be a mouth out there.

Wouldn't there?

I don't know, 20, 30 years ago, it was maybe conceivable, but not

really so conceivable.

300 years ago, it was inconceivable that there should be.

Usher.

What are you afraid of, George?

You can tell me, I'm safe.

I'm afraid of meaninglessness.

I don't know what I'm feeling.

Maybe I too am afraid of happiness.

Or maybe standing still.

I know I'm afraid of standing still.

So you move to the middle of nowhere and do nothing for 10 years?

Makes sense.

In a way, it does.

Because out here, you realise that nothing stands still.

Everything is nonsense.

Please confirm too.

That's nice.

Why do you need a reason?

Why do you have a reason?

Do you ever eat, George?

I have to.

What do you eat, apart from goodness life?

Why, are you hungry?

Not sure.

Should be easy enough to know, shouldn't it?

What?

Whether you're hungry or satiated.

Asleep or just tired.

Whether you're meant to be somewhere or not.

What do you want me to say to that?

Do you want to go for a hike?

Now?

After breakfast.

I want you to come back to Cornwall with me.

I don't care what you do afterwards.

You can go on all the hikes you want.

I'll even join you on one. Why not?

But now I want you to come back to Cornwall with me.

Now? Yes.

Why now?

Because by the time we're down from the mountain and at an airport, we can catch

an early evening plane.

We'll stay the night at my flat, then we'll take a train to Cornwall, which

means we'll be there by mid -afternoon, and I don't need to tell you what

happens tomorrow.

I'm afraid you do.

Really?

Even if you've got a memory like an elephant?

She thinks I have memories.

Of course you do. You've got nothing else to do.

I have to think. Well, you're coming with me.

What is it? Ten minutes?

Yes.

To the day?

Yes.

What do you want me to do, Theo?

I want you to fucking well pay your respect.

And then I don't care what you do.

Then you can go on and not get on with your life.

I'm still angry. I don't honestly give a fuck.

I've typed up your story for you. It's a good story. I don't know what your

problem is.

So the very least you can do is hand it into your agent, and then you can come

back here and pity yourself for another ten years.

Why did you find the ribbon for the typewriter?

I carry it with me. You do?

George, you had some.

I had some? Yes.

You only needed to rummage through some of your stuff, and you'd have found it

yourself.

Good day.

The eye didn't want to upset anyone. Doesn't wash, does it?

You just weren't brave enough to say goodbye.

What are you doing?

It's just a script someone sent me.

What for?

To act it.

Hmm. You're an actor now, are you?

Maybe. Maybe even turn it down.

Why? Well, I was thinking of writing one myself.

Oh?

On to writing.

Good.

You ever thought of being a barman?

Okay.

And you see clearly now, the rain has gone.

It's Ivor.

Hello, Ivor.

You don't have the memory of an elephant at all, do you?

You've got the memory of a goldfish.

I drove you to Papara.

I... I don't know.

You're completely out of control.

You're the one that held contact here.

What are you up to?

Oh. Oh.

It seems I'm reconnecting with London.

The man who's connecting with London is connecting with life.

What are you doing here?

I work on the corner. The BFI.

In the library.

Oh, and this is your daylight break.

It's my break.

It's a good place to have a break.

It is.

Well, I've decided to take the rest of the afternoon off.

Actually, why?

Well, I thought this is a good coincidence.

And I thought you might not mind if I join you whilst we connect, please.

You can float down a river or swim the other way.

People that leave are never as important as the ones that stay.

And if you keep on fighting the current to reach the source,

you shall never falter or be diverted from your course.

Don't you think you'll get tired of moving on so fast?

How easy is it to remember when you've forgotten about the past?

And I've been disappointed by a chosen few.

When you come this far, how can you be prepared to lose?

I guess people are all different by who we strive to be.

And some know right away what they choose to believe.

And so we'll keep on traveling some roads of no end.

And your life is not something on which we can depend.

You turn around and tell me I took too much time Move

on, draw a line All will be revealed in time

You turn around