Original subtitles

Double jab.

Double jab, right hand.

Double jab, right hook.

Left hook.

Right hook.

Left hook.

Right hook.

Jab.

Time's up.

Okay, well done. Relax. We'll see you next week. Well done.

Knees bent.

On your toes.

Guard up.

Come on. Head and body.

Pick up those feet.

That's it.

Step up now. Come on.

Not just singles.

Double jab.

That's it. Great.

Okay, I don't know.

So, um, I've got something to tell you.

You don't want you hanging around with us anymore.

Why? You just don't get it, do you?

You're a freak.

Looks like you're dumb or something.

You wonder why you don't have any friends, then, Ma.

You can't even say anything, can you?

This is hilarious.

I'm sorry.

Gonna walk off now, are you?

Go on, then.

But if you are going, you might as well just give me back my pen.

Have I got your pen? Yeah, you do.

It's Jordan's pen.

Oh, okay.

There we go.

Such a liar.

She's so pathetic.

Find a comfortable position in which you can breathe easily and close your eyes.

This meditation is designed to help you find inner peace and calm.

When we feel and release the past pain held in our body,

Layers of historic hurt, fear or anger may begin to play themselves out in

the light of awareness.

Hi, Mum.

Tina?

Are you coming this weekend?

I mean, I'm not actually sure if I feel up to it, but it would have been nice if

you could have called me. Yeah, sorry, Mum. I didn't think we had a proper

arrangement. It was such a long time ago, and, you know, the kids have all

stuff on now, so it's hard to get them to do anything, you know.

You spoil them just like your father spoiled you.

I mean, I think there's something wrong with him.

I think he might be on...

Okay, Mum. I'm just on my way back from work. I've got to go.

Okay, just say hi to Dad.

Tina says hi.

And a five got seven.

Hey.

So, I'm having a fair.

Yeah, it's funny, isn't it?

Just the thought of it is so ridiculous.

Yeah. Yeah? Who is he?

Um, he's 94.

I think he was a ginger. It's hard to tell.

He's sort of balding with liver spots.

I think his pneumonia really brought us closer together.

Yeah. It was just kind of like explosive.

You know, I just... I think we just need to talk about how it's going to work.

Because he's obviously in residential care and I'm married with three children

and I... Do you want to smoke?

I want to. Mum!

Emma, come on, come down and get something to eat. It's family time.

Hannah, Jason, set the table.

Come on!

I'm going to school by myself tomorrow.

Rachel doesn't want that, and he does it. Please.

It's not that I just... I'd like to walk you to school. It's not that... I know

you're capable.

I know you're capable of doing it. No, you're not. You're just scared I'm going

to get conducted.

No, I've just said there's a lot of crazy people out there.

I'm not scared. I can do it. You're not going to get conducted?

Yeah, not unless you join an orchestra.

Okay, no one gets any purified chicken until they've eaten their vegetable

sauce. I don't like... Vegetable sauce?

Do you like tomato sauce? I already like tomato sauce. Well, I'm sorry, did I

say vegetable sauce? I meant tomato sauce.

Is it a vegetable?

Tomatoes are a fruit. Mum, tell him.

Well, they are actually a fruit.

No, they're not!

Yes, they are!

No, they're not!

Yes, they are!

Jason, if you don't eat everything on your plate, you're not going to get...

there anything for him not to get?

Um, well, there's some fruit strudel in the freezer, but I didn't take it out.

Shall I take it out? If I put it in now, I'll be ready in 20 minutes.

Um... I don't like strudel. He doesn't even know what strudel is.

I do. He doesn't, Mum.

Then what is it?

A sandwich.

You don't need to shout. Stop shouting.

Everyone, sit down.

Everyone, sit down!

It's all right, Daddy.

Mommy's gonna have to make the other day.

Don't remember, Mom.

Remember. When you're angry.

I do remember, Jason, when I was very tired.

You threw it at me.

No, I didn't throw it at you, Jason. I threw it at the floor.

It's really lovely.

It's really delicious, Mick. It really is.

Hey, it's all right.

I've got to go.

You all right, Emma?

Okay. All right, then.

I'll see you tomorrow. All right, then.

Bye. Bye. Bye.

Oh,

oh, no!

Yeah, she said she hates you.

What are we having for tea tonight?

I don't know, Jordan.

Why don't you look in the fridge?

Find something and make it.

Sorry?

No, I'm sorry.

I just know that he's lying.

He's not working.

He just can't be bothered to make time to come and see you, that's all.

Do you want a glass of water?

So tell me about this girl at school who's bullying you.

What's her name?

Annabelle.

What's her mum called?

Annabelle.

Why do you know her?

Yeah, I was at school with her.

If she bothers you again, you tell me, okay?

Good girl.

Talk to your inner child.

Tell her that she is loved.

She is wanted.

She is seen.

Meet her strong.

Now expand your awareness and picture the whole globe in front of you as a

little ball.

Send warm wishes to all living beings on the globe who, like you,

want to be happy.

We have a lamp inside of us, the lamp of mindfulness which we can...

What do you want for breakfast?

Poached eggs on toast.

sticks on toes.

What's the time, Mick? What's the time?

Eight, five to eight.

Oh, we've got to get dressed.

Come on, it's very hard to get dressed.

We've got to get dressed.

Mummy's dressed. Look, Mummy's dressed already.

Come on.

Oh, gosh. Oh, Jason.

Hello, darling.

What are you doing?

What are you texting this time of the morning?

Come down for breakfast. Do you want postage on post?

Oh. She said, are you worried I'm going to get conducted, Mum?

I like it. Yeah.

People, that's too much over the children now.

We used to just go out to play and shut the door and everything was safe for us.

But these days it's not so easy for the mums.

So can I get you anything else, Pam?

Yes, I'm looking for another toy boy.

That's the top of my list at the moment.

I'll see what I can do.

Shall I take those? Make it easier for you not to get a detention.

Okay, everybody.

I have got some exciting news. I know you've been fantastically bored by all

technique we've done this term. And so, at the end of term, as part of our

performance module, we are going to hold a talent contest.

Okay, so I would like, last instruction, I would like you to spend

the first half of the lesson sitting quietly and thinking.

what you would like to do. Go on, then. Let's go.

Got any ideas, Dad?

Jordan, have you seen Emma?

I haven't.

Have you seen Emma?

Um... Well, I saw her this morning, but... she's not here now, so I don't

what to say, really.

OK. Thank you.

The other day, she pushed me.

and said that I stole a pen when she gave it to me.

And then last week, she pushed me again and said, oh, Emma, no -one likes you

anyway. And now I have no friends and no -one to talk to.

I just don't like school any more.

I hate it.

I hated it too.

Why?

Because I just didn't think I could win.

I wrote this poem for English once, this epic poem.

About this black knight.

I handed it in to Miss Langley.

And she wouldn't believe I wrote it.

She said I'd copied it, tore it up in front of the class.

Why?

People fear what they don't understand.

I don't feel like that.

No, good.

Me neither.

I do feel masked, though.

Me too.

I write poems.

I know. I haven't seen any of yours for a while, though. I'm glad you're still

writing them.

Okay.

It's called Not Even More.

Mm -hmm.

I feel lost, but I keep being found.

I am alone with lots of people around me.

There is nothing that can make me feel fresh.

There can be a better person.

If I am happy, it just makes me sadder.

Nothing can control my emotions or feelings about other things.

Not even me.

Not even me.

That is lovely.

Do you want to put some music?

I don't know.

Put the lyrics player on the scene, please.

Okay.

Yeah? I feel lost, but I keep being found.

I'm a...

The people around me.

That's good, man.

Can I have tomorrow off school?

Well, maybe just tomorrow.

What about Mum?

We'll just keep that to ourselves.

There'll be a right time to tell her. You just let me handle that, OK?

Yeah.

Hello?

Yeah, this is T -Bell.

Yeah?

No, no, no, she's still ill.

No, no, she's definitely in school.

This is why I kept her out of school. I wanted to talk to you, but I didn't know

how to approach it. So here we are. We all know how you feel, Mick. We're all

really clear about how you feel. Well, you know, and here we are.

Let's try and have a conversation about this without going too far. I think you

know why I'm stressed about it. I just want to know how Emma feels about it,

I want to know what's happening.

Why don't you tell your mum what's going on?

Mum, I always get pushed around by them.

Whenever they walk past me, they would push into me on purpose.

I can't push them back.

I won't push them back.

I think we should go down to school tomorrow, you and me. OK, I've already

spoken to the school, because I spoke to them when they told me that she was

bunking off on the telephone. So what they've said is they deal with it very,

very seriously, OK? It's not like when we were at school. They deal with it.

They are very hot on this these days.

All right. I don't think they're going to do anything unless we go down there

and point these girls out. I mean, who are these girls?

Jordan Chadwick and Hayley Brown.

Jordan said that if I come anywhere near her again... that she's going to get

her mum on me and you.

Her mum?

What's her mum got to do with anything? What, her mum's been bullying you as

well? Has her mum said something to you?

She said that her mum knows you, Mum.

Yeah, no, I know her. It's Amanda Chadwick.

Yeah.

Yeah, we went to school together. No, I haven't seen her for years.

Look, we've got to go down to school tomorrow.

You've got to talk to this woman, try and work out what her problem is, and

we're going to sort this out by the end of the day tomorrow.

Okay. I think she should move schools. I think we should look into other

options.

What?

Yeah, we can homeschool her. I think that's what we should do.

No, Tina, I think it's a bit of an extreme reaction.

I think we just do what we said we were going to do. Nick, you've had your

chance, okay? It's my turn to deal with it.

Tina, we're going to look into other options for you, okay? It's a bit hot.

Good. Oh, nice one.

Not just tingles, please.

Good, good.

Good.

We all know there's a problem, OK?

So you just focus on things you enjoy.

And it's better to be on your own than just with the wrong people.

OK? OK, Mum.

Oh, my God.

You've got a mum walking her to school now.

OK, Jordan.

OK, I know what's going on. The school knows what's going on. And if it

continues, severe action is going to be taken.

Are you threatening me?

I'm not threatening you, Jordan.

Sounds like you are.

You're telling me that I shouldn't defend myself against that.

OK, that's enough.

You can't tell me off. You're not my mum.

You're not my teacher.

OK, come on.

Oh, she's scared now, aren't you? You're scared.

Do you know why? It's because you're a chicken.

Tell that show announcement.

Have you thought of something to do? It's not compulsory, but if you don't do

it, you will fail the module.

So... Have you thought of something?

Probably sing and play piano with me.

Well, that would be great. That would be perfect. You know, I'm always in the

music room if you want to come and try stuff out.

OK?

Jordan?

Jordan and Minions, that is enough.

That is enough. Miss, we're just practicing for our show.

What can I say?

So you're doing a show about chickens?

Yes, we are.

Well, if you're not doing a show about chickens, you can all have a detention.

Okay? Look forward to seeing you at the rehearsal.

The chicken dance.

Sounds intriguing.

Tina!

Just keep walking, sweetheart.

Why are you ignoring me?

Are you scared?

Well, you should be.

Time. Okay, well done tonight, gals. Great work.

Thank you.

I was just wondering about getting in the ring.

Oh, sorry, darling. The girls are training for a tournament.

So what would I have to do if I wanted to fight?

It's not box fit.

It's box thing.

There's quite a big difference.

Can you punch?

Oh, go on then. Get your gloves on. Show me what you've got.

Give me your best punch. Your best one.

Best.

250.

Okay.

Keep going. Faster. Faster.

20.

30.

40.

Home time.

I want to come back. Can I get in the ring?

No.

Tina? Hi, Mum.

When were you going to call me back? Kids, can you come and clear the table,

please? You're never going to get them to do what you want if you talk to them

like that.

Where's Nick?

At work. He doesn't work.

Of course, that's why he works nights, to get away from all of that.

Tina, I have to tell you something.

I'm leaving your father.

Right. I don't seem to be able to talk to him, and he seems completely

of talking to me.

Tina, are you there?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm still here, yeah, I'm still here. I just can't

manage anymore. I feel like nobody cares.

I get no appreciation, no acknowledgement, not from anyone.

And certainly not from your father.

Yeah, he does his best, Mum.

You know he does his best.

Why do you always take his side and not mine?

Yeah, I'm just in the middle of something, Mum.

I've got to go now.

Tina?

She'll be riding six white horses when she comes.

She'll be riding six white horses when she comes.

She'll be riding six white horses, riding six white horses, riding six

horses when she comes.

Singing aye, aye, yippee, yippee, aye.

Singing aye, aye, yippee, yippee, aye.

Singing aye, aye, yippee, yippee, aye.

So, we've got two new members here.

I don't like the word new because it makes you seem separate to us, and

not right, is it? Because we're all friends here.

Oh, talking stone.

So, this is Emma and Tina, and they're going to be

new members of our homeschooling club.

My daughter, I was told...

At quite a young age, she was seven, that she couldn't count.

And I thought that that was focusing on the negatives, rather. And I thought,

well, what about the positives?

OK, she can't count, but she's very good at jumping.

And she's very good at plaiting.

And there's lots of things that she's good at. And we're all good at

aren't we? There's just one rule that we do have, and that's no hitting.

Because violence solves nothing, does it?

I think what would be nice as a little introductory thing is if we pass around

the stone, and said something that we are good at.

So I'm very good at making cups of tea.

What are you good at?

I'm good at dancing.

I'm good at gymnastics.

I'm good at running.

What are you saying, Ando?

Why don't we go down to Delametri's and get a full English, yeah? Right.

That's your day highlights now? No.

Oh, come on, man, what's wrong with you?

Black, mate, you'll go, won't you?

Delimitries, full English breakfast.

Um, no, you're all right. That's your day two footy highlights, come on. No, I

can't do it. I'm the wife, I am the kid. Come on, don't let me down. I've got

kids, I've got kids, I've got to cook.

What about you, B -unit, you having it?

No, I'm going to have to give it to you. Come on, man, you love a pork sausage.

Take that, get dressed.

Come on, come on, let me dress, sweetheart.

No! That's a good boy, come on.

Good boy.

Mum, can you do my hair?

I've just got to get Jason.

Jason.

Get you.

Jason.

Mum. Let's get you dressed.

No,

no.

Ow.

Let's get you dressed. Come on, Jason.

Jason.

Ow. Jason, you've got to get dressed.

Mick, Mick, Mick.

Jason! Jason, come up!

Can you get to us now, please?

Now!

Are you OK?

No, no, I'm not OK, actually. I'm just on the edge. I'm going to kill someone.

Is Emma OK? No.

I'm fine, because I don't want her to get fined, and that's what will happen

she stays off any more days, so we need to deal with this now.

OK, all right. OK, but can you help me?

Mick,

I'm not starting.

I'm trying to explain to you the situation because I'm on the edge and I

your help. I'm not talking to you when you're like this. I'm sorry, I'm not

going to do it.

Tina, I'm not going to talk to you when you're... Because if you don't talk to

me about it... Because you're shitting me and I've just woken up!

Come on!

Tina,

Tina, come on.

Tina,

come on.

You want to come again, then come again. But dial it down and come again,

because I'm not going to listen to you.

Let's work it out. Why don't you come up with a solution? I haven't got a

solution.

I need your help.

I'll go and then try that again.

Jordan Chadwick, in what universe is that acceptable behaviour for school?

Or anywhere, in fact.

What about Emma?

No. She did it as well, didn't she? Jordan, you just saw that, didn't you?

have had a lot of warnings from me. You've had a stage three from me. That's

Jordan. You're out of the talent show.

You're going to see Mr. Petter and Ms. Lancaster at break. And Emma, I'd like

see you in my office as well.

Smart chicken.

Emma got me chucked out the talent show.

We were just mucking about in the hallway.

Teacher saw us, took me out, not Emma.

As usual.

When we feel and release the past pain held in our body, we become

increasingly free to meet our present feelings with a wakeful and kind heart.

We discover as Rumi writes, the cure for the pain.

I don't want to fight you, Amanda.

That's interesting.

But you don't want to fight now.

I'm not that person.

I'm not that person anymore.

Then what?

I'm not supposed to feel sorry for you?

No.

It's not about us anymore.

Amanda, it's about...

Our girls, you know, protecting our girls.

I'm so sorry.

It was 30 years ago.

We need to move on.

You make my life miserable.

Every single day.

I know.

I know, I know, and I'm so sorry.

And I was going through something, I don't... Well, I don't recognize that

I don't know who she was for you.

Because I recognize her.

This little, miss, sweet, humble, husband, three children.

It's all bullshit.

You were a bitch then.

And you're a fucking bitch now.

You know.

I don't know what's going on in your life now, Amanda.

I don't know what you're going through, but... It's not my fault.

I'm so sorry.

Tina?

Tina?

What happened to you?

Dad, what are you doing here?

What have you done?

Your mum's thrown me out. Told me not to come back.

Tina? What happened?

I just walked into a... You know, like, spinning around. I just walked, like,

right into a doorframe where... Look, I've got to go.

Everyone's been fed, so just call if you need anything, OK?

Yeah.

And get some ice on that.

No, I will. I will. No, on you, Tina.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh,

yeah.

That's

almost

as much as the whack did.

It's still bleeding.

No, it looks like a storm.

for a second.

You can stay here as long as you want, okay? I won't tell her where you are if

you don't want me to. You just, you need a break, okay?

I just don't want to be a nuisance.

You're not a nuisance.

You're not.

You take so many anger out of it.

You look quite bad.

I look angry.

She hit me with a pan.

One of those big, heavy button jumps.

Oi.

Rocky.

Did you walk in through a door?

Yeah.

My mum walked into a door every Friday.

Sometimes she'd fall down the stairs, drip on a carpet, get knocked down by a

bike. Always on a Friday, after me dad came back home from the pub.

It's not what you think, it's not.

I took up boxing at 15, and then one night when I was 16, my dad never made

back home from the pub.

He flipped on a banana peel.

Saw it happen, terrible thing.

He fractured a rib and broke his nose.

Funny thing was, my mum stopped having accidents after that.

And for some reason, my dad never came home from the pub.

Well, we didn't mind, though.

We hated it guts.

Yeah, and I didn't walk into a door.

Yeah?

Did you fight back?

No, no, I didn't hear. I didn't hear once.

Do you still want to learn to fight?

Yeah.

First lesson, give up guilt.

You can't shrink back and apologise every time you land a punch.

You fight because you have to.

You fight because if you don't, all you're doing is taking on pain.

The pain, they're dishing out.

Understand? Yeah.

I'll see you tomorrow.

What's going on here?

Grandpa said we could have ice cream.

Right, it's bedtime now. Come on.

We'll have to breakfast in the morning. It's bedtime now.

All right?

Yeah. Good girl. Get to bed now, okay?

Now?

Now.

Good night, Grandpa.

Okay.

So I'm going to text her back and let her know you're safe.

All right?

And do you want me to tell her where you are?

No.

Okay, and then I'm going to turn it off so you can get some rest, alright?

Did you do anything else, Dad?

No, no, nothing.

So what are you doing there, Emma?

Um... I'm Hannah.

She's Emma.

Ah.

So what are you doing there, Hannah?

Well, I'm doing maths.

Was your mother good at maths?

No.

Was she good at art?

Art? Quite good.

She did well at English.

Very good. Very good at English.

So what are you doing, Emma?

I like poetry.

Yeah. Oh, that's nice.

I'll tell you something your mother didn't like.

Homework.

Emma.

Emma. Emma, wait, sweetheart.

Emma, I'm going to walk with you.

I'm fine, Mum.

Please, I'm fine.

I just want to make sure you're okay.

I've got to go.

Tina? Hi, Mark.

Your father's gone missing.

What do you mean?

He's been gone for two days. I don't know where he is.

I've informed the police, but they're just useless.

You don't know where he is, do you?

No.

I mean, he's probably just sulking somewhere.

But if he does contact you, you have to let me know.

Yeah, OK.

Yeah, OK. As long as you're all right.

No I'm completely distraught I went to the doctor

for some sleeping pills I'm just broken

I've been listening to a lot of stuff online about healing and about

how we all need to nurture ourselves, you know, if we haven't been

nurtured.

What?

Are you saying you weren't nurtured?

Tina, we did our best.

We really did.

You made your mother's life very hard.

No, I know, I know, I know. I wasn't talking about me.

I was talking about you and Mum healing.

Your mother had a very, very difficult life.

She was born on a bomb site, rejected by her mother, locked up in

cupboards by nuns.

That stuff goes deep, Tina.

Really deep. You don't get over that.

I know.

I know, Dad. I know all about it.

But it's not your fault.

I should have done more to protect you from her.

I know that.

And I've got to live with the fact that I didn't do enough.

I want you to be happy.

I don't want to be a burden on you, Tina.

You're not a burden.

You're not a burden, Dad.

You can stay as long as you want.

We can put Emma in with the other two and you can have her room if you want.

Yeah.

Really? Okay, yeah.

Really.

Sure.

Wait. Yeah, turn it round.

That's it.

That way. Right, get the legs through first.

Wait, wait.

We'll get it through.

Okay, careful, careful, fingers in.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Right.

Okay. And do we need to get the butt up? I think we might be able to do it on

the floor, actually. Right.

Okay, so should we push it back? Yeah.

No, it's just got to come.

Something, I think, yeah.

OK.

That's it.

I think we're tipping it too early. OK.

Swing it round to your right.

OK. There we are.

Oh, ho!

Oh, ho!

Is that going down? Yeah. Help me.

Help me.

OK. All right.

Come on, Tina. This is real boxing now.

Reset yourself and start again.

Protect yourself, Tina.

Protect yourself at all times.

I can't.

Are you going to give up?

100. Oh.

Hey.

I like it.

It's a new look. Are you checking the chromatophant?

Yeah, it's good.

Inspecting the land? I think we're covered.

I think I'm a bit worried about that boundary there. No, they can't see us.

That's a good thing.

The livestock is definitely growing, though. They're doing very well. No,

going to be able to make a lot of oil.

It's a good crop. It's a good crop this year.

That's it. You can never run out.

I just wondered if you wanted to go for a walk.

Yeah?

Walk or... Walk.

Just a walk. Just a walk.

Just a walk.

Well, in that case... Come

on.

Let's go for a walk.

Shall we go that way? Which way do you want to go?

Let's go that way.

Yeah, I just said I didn't know where he was. I didn't know what's going to

happen.

He's a grown man, team. He's got to start making decisions for himself. He

just hide behind you.

Oh, I mean, why not? That's what everyone does.

What do you mean?

Well, we're all hiding, aren't we? I mean, that's what we're doing, isn't it?

Well, I think we're just doing our best, team.

Yeah, but is that enough?

I just think we're surviving, team. We're surviving, like everyone else.

but I don't want to just survive, Mick.

I want Emma, you know, to feel, like, proud and strong and brilliant.

You know, that she can stand up for herself, and I want Hannah to feel like

can be anything, and I want Jason to get dressed in the morning without me

having a nervous breakdown.

Yeah, well, so do I, love. I mean, it's what we signed up for. It's just a

phase.

I mean, I want them to be happy. I want us to be happy, too.

I don't even know who we are anymore. I just feel like I'm just this tired, sort

of stressed, kind of angry monster.

Yeah, well, you know, boxing is not going to help with that, is it?

Mick, I'm doing this for us.

You know, somebody's got to fight.

Somebody's got to do something that they can be proud of, to be something they

can be proud of.

I wanted to do things, team.

Don't think for one second that I didn't.

I had dreams.

I carry them to the point where they feel like they're dragging me to the

ground, like they're heavy and they're pulling me to my knees. But do you know

what keeps me standing?

It's you and the kids.

The most beautiful dream I ever had.

A family.

I don't even go out.

I can't remember the last time I went to the pub, because I know Hannah needs to

go to ballet on Saturday, Jason needs those football boots, and I love that.

I love being that guy.

Tina, if you're not proud of me, that's fine.

Because I'm proud.

I'm proud of me.

Oh, that's beautiful.

My dad taught me that.

Yeah. Your dad a musician?

No, but he just likes to play the piano, so can I join along?

That's great.

That's great. Music's fantastic, isn't it?

Yeah.

It's kind of like you can get away with it.

Yeah. Yeah.

I'm kind of nervous about the talent show.

Don't need to be nervous. This is fantastic.

Can I play them all away? It's awesome.

I just don't like singing publicly.

I more like singing in my bedroom.

Yeah. Yeah.

Well, you just have to imagine your thing in your bedroom.

I think all of life is better if you imagine your thing in your bedroom.

And I don't want to get it wrong.

You all right, Lala?

I bumped into Granny Jean on my way home from school.

Yeah, she didn't know Grandpa Frank was staying here.

Abby came over earlier. She said, do you want to go over and play?

Can I?

Yeah.

Bye, Grandma.

So here you are.

Do you have any idea what you've put me through?

I even phoned the police.

Been knocking at neighbours' doors.

Stopping passing by.

I was worried sick.

I thought you were dead.

We did text you to tell you he was safe.

I don't know how much more of this I can take.

But the two people...

That I love most could do this to me.

It's enough to drive you mad.

Makes you want to commit suicide.

Tina thought we needed a break.

Did you, Tina?

And what about you, Frank?

Did you need a break?

Frank, talk to me.

Talk to me, Frank.

Because you never talk to me.

You never say anything!

Don't interrupt!

You

haven't

changed have you?

Come on, Tina. This is real boxing now.

On your toes.

Guard up.

When you throw your right hand, keep your back foot on the floor.

Done?

I've gone home, Mum.

Dave Boy's got a pass.

Yes, that's right, Ando. Dave Boy's got a pass. You know what Dave's going to do

with that pass?

He's going to go out and he's going to get smashed.

Don't look at me like that. B unit. You know it makes sense.

Who's with me, boys? Roll call. B unit. You having it?

Yeah, mate. B unit. Come on. Yes.

Josh Boy. Josh Boy's going to be there. Ando, you having it? Yeah, mate. I know

Black Mick's going to be there. Yes?

Yes. Black Mick.

Black Mick.

We'll be there.

We're going to meet in the lamp at 12 o 'clock and I'm on it.

It's my birthday.

I'm going to party like it's my birthday. All right, lads?

Bit of more enthusiasm.

If you... Hello? Hey, wee!

Six pack. You'll be there, right? Yeah, I will be, mate, yeah. See you. I'll go

again. Yes, you too. I'll see you down at one. Twelve o 'clock, yeah?

Be you, net. I'll text you, yeah?

She's just about trying to get blood out of a stone with that one.

Dave? Yes?

Um... I really don't like it when you call me Blackman.

I don't mean anything by it. No, I know.

I'm only doing it because you're my mate. I know.

I don't know what to tell you, mate. I don't like it.

Oh, sorry. I don't like it. I just won't call it you.

Emma,

why don't you play your song? You've got a song, right?

No. You're great.

Please.

I know. Watch this.

Oh, my God.

Come on. Say it hard. Come on.

You can do it.

Right there Pam.

Okay there.

There we go.

Is that nice?

How's the boxing going?

Well, I've stopped now, Pat the Pam. Have you?

Yeah. Oh, you're just catching on beautifully with it.

What a shame.

Life is so bloody hard.

Oh, that's lovely.

These systems of guilt, shame and self -sabotage were present to protect you.

Thank them as you release them from your being.

Why does it always have to be about you, Jordan?

You're just like your dad.

Selfish.

I told you I didn't want you to go see him this weekend.

And why is that then?

I don't have to give you a reason.

You know, when I came back from the hospital...

Brand new with you.

He'd been on a three -day bender.

House covered in coats.

Stinking of cat piss.

He couldn't wait to get away from us.

From me.

And from you.

He left both of us.

He walked out on you.

Because you're a drunk.

Say you are, you're a drunk.

Don't you ever... Don't you ever talk to me like that again.

Go and make your secret little plans with him now, then.

One,

two, roll.

One,

two, roll.

One, two, roll.

Flip, flip, hook.

Flip, flip, hook, drop.

One, two.

You came back, Tina.

Anger's not a bad thing.

But if you don't control it, it controls you.

I still want to fight you.

You think I'm ready?

No.

But I think you will be.

Is Dad here?

Can I come in? I just want to talk to you both.

He's exhausted. He doesn't want to see anyone.

Dad?

Did

you

not hear what I said?

What's the matter with you?

Are you on drugs?

I just want to say something.

You both.

He's tired.

I know you're upset.

But now you know how I feel.

It's horrible, isn't it? Jean.

I won't take long.

Tina, I don't want to hear it.

Jean, just let her talk.

I just wanted to explain something.

Because I've just realised something that I... I never really understood

I never understood.

Why you never believed that I loved you,

Mum.

It didn't matter what I did or how hard I tried.

And I did try.

I tried so hard.

It's only now that I understand it was because you didn't feel that you were

worth it.

Loving. That you weren't worth my love. You weren't worth Dad's love. You

weren't worth anybody's love.

And that's what it was. It wasn't that I didn't love you, Izzy.

You would never be able to feel it.

I gave up trying. I gave up trying.

And I'm sorry that I did.

I might be a part of this ripple on water from a lonesome trip, a fallen

that witnessed me, him alone, him and me.

And that life itself could not aspire to have someone be so admired. I threw

creation to my kin with a silence broken by a whispered.

This can be broken. All of this can be broken. Hold your devil by his throat

spin him to the ground.

And boots are rooting, tip to tip. I look at him, my country jiff. Let it

always fear. But someone brought the gloves to tear.

Many trains and many miles brought you to me on this sunny isle. And what of

which you wish to speak? Have you come here to rescue me?

All this can be broken. All this can be broken. Hold your devil by his throat.

Bring him to the ground.

So, we finished work early.

And I went and had a couple of pints.

How are you doing?

Good. Really, really good.

That's where my muscles... Oh, wow. I feel that.

I like really, really properly.

Yeah.

That's what you do when you flex your muscles. If you do that, it's not

If you do that... Oh, really?

You have to turn your back down with that.

And then that's where you get the definition.

I reckon I could beat you in an arm wrestle, but I'd beat you in a headlock.

I don't want to wrestle. I just want to nestle.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Academy Talent Showcase.

Are you okay? No, I can't do it. Why?

I'm too scared.

I can't believe people there are.

Fantastic.

Fantastic.

When we rehearsed it, it's been brilliant, hasn't it?

You'll be fine. I can't do a keyboard solo of the evening.

It's George Ives.

You'll be fine, trust me.

I'm so sorry.

I don't want to let you down, Buck.

It's okay.

I understand. Just don't do it. I'm sorry. It's okay.

If you don't want to do it, you don't have to. I will love you anyway.

I want to do it.

Okay. Okay. Well, listen.

I have spent a lifetime living my dreams up here.

Right?

If you don't actually live your dreams, Emma, you can't share them.

You are all...

And I will be proud of you, whatever you do.

And now we have a very special singer -songwriter. It's our own Emma Bell with

song she's composed herself, To Be.

To be me.

Thank you.

Thank you.