All language subtitles for Relic Hunter S02e05 Fertile Ground

Lono, I must take you to safety.

And your name?

Tell me we weren't this uncool in high
school.

Worse. My big hair.

Monica alert.

I haven't seen you

since homecoming. You look fabulous.

And you, look at you. Can you believe
it? Eight months and counting.

What about you, Sidney? Any kids?

Oh, no. No kids.

No? No.

No? No.

Oh, well, it doesn't matter.

There's still time.

Do you want to touch it?

Good luck.

No, I'll pass.

Monica.

Touch me for luck.

Isn't that the same pickup line she used
in high school?

Looking for Tony?

I haven't seen him.

I haven't seen him since the day we
graduated.

You know, I always wondered what it
would have been like if you'd married

You go, girl.

It's really nice to see you again.

I was hoping I'd see you here tonight.

You look great, Sydney.

You do.

You are the reason I'm here tonight, you
know.

Yeah? Yeah.

See, I've been doing a lot of thinking
about you.

I think I know where to find the lost
idol of Lono.

Phone been ringing off the hook?

No.

Better check the messages.

Sid said she'd call to confirm her
flight.

I know that look, Nigel.

Girl I met in the library.

Gwendolyn?

She doesn't call me back.

Get a grip.

Every time you call and she doesn't call
you back, you get into this... This?

Funk.

Funk?

Yes, that's it. So you understand what's
going on here.

Girls don't call guys in funks.

Stop moping.

Get over her. Get out.

Right.

I might miss a call.

Earth to Nigel. Look, didn't we just go
over this with... Kate? Different

circumstance entirely.

Different circumstance.

Same MO.

Didn't you run over Kate with a jeep?

Motorcycle. You've got to start playing
hard to get.

Don't make yourself so available.

What about chivalry and proper breeding
and the man making the first move?

Okay, that went out with opening doors
and covering puddles with your cape.

So I'm coming on too strong.

I have already left three messages.

Okay, that's called stalking, Nigel. Not
a big hit with the ladies.

Sid hasn't left any messages.

Maybe she's run off on a wild fling with
her high school sweetheart, Tony Apua.

High school, sweetheart?

The old coaster road. How many times did
you take me out there in high school to

see that Lono Shrine?

We had a lot of fun.

Amazing. It hasn't changed at all.

Still a patch of barren wasteland in the
middle of all this lush green.

Not exactly prime development territory.

Okay, see?

This is where Cook's men came ashore and
massacred our people.

And stole the idol.

Yeah. Legend says that this part of
Hawaii shall remain fallow until Lono is

returned.

You remember it. Yeah, you only
mentioned it every day for two years

went together.

Pretty nerdy, huh?

I don't know. Actually, it's one of the
reasons why I fell in love with you.

Yeah. And the Mustang didn't hurt
either.

Nah, the Mustang didn't hurt.

Tony, the idol's been missing for 200
years. Now you think you know where it

I know it sounds ridiculous coming from
a junior high science teacher, but you

don't know. I spent every summer in the
library.

I took sabbaticals.

And then finally this summer, I made a
breakthrough.

Okay. I tracked down the logbook from
Cook's ship.

The resolution.

Yes.

I thought she was going to Hawaii on
business.

Oh, that's what she said.

She even stopped by a museum there to
conduct a seminar.

But she spent the entire day before she
left locked up in her office looking at

her old high school yearbooks.

Trust me, business was the last thing on
her mind.

See, Cook's men attacked the island to
avenge his death, and they looted the

idol. Then the resolution sailed for
England in December 1779, but the idol

not on the cargo's manifest.

It was a dead end.

Except for this.

Come here.

The journal entry says, on the voyage
home, five sailors were found guilty

of mutiny. They were thrown into a
longboat off the coast of Madagascar,

to be seen again.

You think they took the idol with them?

That after they were put to sea, several
items from the ship's store were

discovered missing, including...

Something made from volcanic rock.

That's a long shot.

I know, I know.

What she really went there to see was
who got fat, who got married, who made

big, and the one that got away.

And she said this Tony was the one that
got away?

Not in so many words.

But she said he was tall, dark,
handsome, and they dated in high school.

I filled in the rest.

Isn't that a little presumptuous?

Yes.

But she hasn't called yet, has she?

Ancient studies.

Hey, Sid, how was the reunion?

Was everybody fat?

Claudia, put Nigel on.

Was he there?

Claudia. Was he bald?

Claudia. Right, all right.

Sid. I need you to get on a plane to
Madagascar.

Madagascar? Get to a village called
Faradope. It's on the southeast coast.

Faradope. I wonder how you spell that.

Mr. Fletcher?

Well?

You missed him?

I've only been gone five minutes.

I've been waiting here for two days, and
now you're telling me that I've missed

him?

You missed him.

Come back again. Who knows?

Maybe you'll catch him in.

Well, next time, send up a flare or
something.

Listen, he's playing.

I'll be back in five minutes.

You do that.

That's not scotch.

It's $300.

Make sure him and his friends don't
leave here walking.

Hey, Sid.

Hey, Nigel.

What do you have?

Well, the thing of it is, Sid, the
locals have got a lot of ultra

of anything outside their frame of
reference.

It sounds strange, I know, but it's
quite understandable, actually, given

history of occupation.

So you got zipped. Zipped.

Say hi to Tony.

Tony. Tony.

Oh, we've heard absolutely nothing about
Tony.

The guy we're looking for, his name's
Fletcher.

Yeah, who's that?

He owns the bar. He's a local know -it
-all. I'm having a hard time negotiating

with him.

When did you two meet? I mean,
originally.

Nigel.

It was hit and run.

Hit and run?

Tony.

Well, actually, it was at a game.

She was cheering on the sidelines, and I
went down and out and along on a pass,

and I crashed into her.

Sidney was a cheerleader?

Let's not go there, Nigel. Okay.

You, uh, you wouldn't have any photos,
would you?

Oh, Mom.

Oh.

Did you think it was unfavorable?

No, you were being kind.

Oh, yeah.

Feels good.

That's one bone.

You got 205 more.

You do the math.

Hi.

My assistant assures me that you could
tell us where Fletcher is.

I'm afraid my boss isn't as patient as I
am.

Back room, maybe.

But I wouldn't go back there.

Sid, you better stay here. Let me handle
this, okay?

Mike's dangerous.

All right.

Does he know what he's doing?

God, I hope so.

Ugh! Mind your own damn business!

Ugh!

leg.

She always does the athletic. It usually
doesn't take this long.

She must be jet -lagged.

Today.

Freeze, sister.

There'll be no killing in my bar.

Fletcher?

Fletcher? Aye.

The Resolution sailors were on this
island.

They say five of them came ashore in a
longboat.

Started making enemies right away.

Folks here didn't take too kindly to
foreigners back then.

Must be comforting to know that you've
come such a long way.

So what happened to them? At war,
they're welcome.

Villagers banished them.

They headed west towards Magar Peak.

Magar Peak?

Never heard from again.

Did the sailors bring anything with
them? With them.

Basically, an idol.

So many people are asking that same
question all of a sudden.

Who else?

I don't know.

Some bloke with a scar.

He rented the only 4x4 in town.

Magar Peak.

Can you tell us the fastest way to get
there?

Nope.

Do you know someone that can?

Maybe.

A couple guys I know, they know this
island real good.

But they're a little hard.

Thanks. We'll take our chances.

There you go.

My leg. Leg. Leg.

Oh,

jeez. Looks like it could be broken.

Yeah.

You're not going anywhere, Nigel. Do you
have a doctor?

Yeah.

Could you call him?

I gotta warn you, he's a little odd.

What if he doesn't have a medical
degree?

What if he practices bloodless surgery?

I'm sure he'll be fine, Nigel.

Besides, I think this Fletcher guy tends
to exaggerate the oddness factor.

You think?

Fletcher's an odd character.

No more than anyone else in this town.

Didn't he say it was past these trees?

Yeah, an old trailer with a satellite
dish. I don't know.

Fletcher did say they were a bit odd.

What?

Maybe they're waiting for us inside.

If we can find a door.

Uh, Fletcher sent us. He said you could
show us the way to Magar Peak.

Buffett, I implore you to be careful.

There are demons lining the path every
step of the way.

The WB Marathon.

In America?

Yeah.

We love America.

Love it! Our dream has moved to L .A.

We love L .A.

Great.

Why do you guys want to go to Magar
Peak?

We're investigating a historical event.

Historical event? Good.

Okay. Great. We want to leave right now.
Wait a minute.

Problem.

Allie McBeal. New episode.

How about this?

This could probably buy you a lot of
videotape.

All right. Okay, so Fletcher tells us
that you have a truck that can get us

there.

You don't have a truck.

We have a truck.

But? Problem.

Truck's broke.

Need to park.

Yeah, okay, yeah.

Well, so how expensive is this part?

Oh, very.

Yes, oh.

That must be the 4x4 Fletcher was
talking about.

This looks fresh.

You're thinking what I'm thinking,
simple wits.

Burp's headed to Magapik.

Who is this guy?

He's over this way, Margie. Oh, yeah.

Will you guys shut up?

That's your final answer.

Trail ends here.

He must have taken the ridge.

That would lead away from Magar Peak.

Why don't you guys take the lead?

Yeah, but why would he reverse
directions?

I have an idea.

It's not a very pleasant one.

Two, and three little onions, and...

Come on, come on, where are you?

Are you looking for me?

Yeah,

I'm looking for you.

Why are you stalking us?

What do you think, lady?

Because I'm going to kill you and your
friends before you get to that Lono

statue, and I'm going to get rich.

Let's go.

How'd you find out about the idol?

Same way as you did, lady.

Only I'm not as ethical, am I?

Tony tried to hire you?

Yeah, that's right.

Once I saw the law from the resolution,
why do I need him? Why do I need you?

He's not moving.

Is that who was following us?

Yes.

All hail Xena Warrior Princess.

Sidney.

Sidney. You lied to me. I didn't lie. I
didn't exactly tell the truth.

I was expecting something a little
better than that, Tony.

Right.

Look, Sidney, come on. When we broke up,
when you broke up with me, remember?

I always thought you'd come back to me.

Why not?

I mean, I was pretty special, wasn't I?

All right, so the fact is you didn't.

And you went off and had this great
career and...

I became this ordinary high school
teacher who never left the island.

So when I found the log... Your male ego
started to sweat.

Ego, insecurity, rejection, any one of
those, pick one.

The fact is I couldn't call you.

I just couldn't.

That's when I got a hold of this dryer
guy.

He said the log was worthless.

But not before he made a copy for
himself.

Yeah, okay, so...

I was stupid.

No.

Just naive.

Well, I did what I wanted, after all.

Which was to see you.

It was more than just about Lono, you
know.

We, uh... We've got a lot of lost time
to make up for.

Yeah, we do.

Come on, guys.

Go.

That Magar Peak.

The place you're looking for is just on
the other side of that valley.

This way.

Watch this branch.

Here's your valley.

It's even more beautiful than I
imagined.

Oh, it's amazing.

My God.

It's beautiful.

This is... This is the exact opposite of
Rilono we're stolen from in Hawaii.

The idol's here.

I can feel it.

Look for any signs of an old structure.

If the mutineers lived here after they
were expelled from the village, they

would have needed shelter, food.

Look for any remains of cleared land or
a garden.

Guys, over here.

What?

Old gravestones.

The cemetery.

Mullet.

Hawkins.

A mackerel.

A bowline.

And that's got to be first, yes.

The five mutineers.

What? Does anything seem strange to you?

Five mutineers, five graves?

What are you getting at?

Who buried the last one?

Yeah.

This is where the mutineers must have
lived after they were banished by the

natives from their village.

How about this container?

Wait, I see something over here.

He's very bony.

Ten bucks says this is our mystery grave
digger.

Look.

Carpenter's tools?

Wait a minute, I found something.

Feels like... It is. The book.

The journal.

But no idol.

Must have been pretty handy.

But apparently not very leggy.

Who wrote the journal?

The ship's carpenter, Firth.

You know, in the ship's log.

It mentions that the men used to call
him Pagleg.

So then that begs the question, if this
is Firth... Then who's buried in his

grave?

Grave's empty, Scully.

Then why is it here?

Well, hang on.

Firth says in here that he survived the
shipmates by ten years.

See, he was obsessed with protecting the
idol so that the valley would remain as

it was.

Poor guy must have spent all those years
hiding it.

False bottom.

Yeah, all right.

Give me a hand.

Can you see it?

Sydney?

It's here!

Yeah!

We found them.

Look at the eyes on that idol.

Sparkly! Now how do we get to it?

I don't think we do.

I think we get it to come to us.

That means there's got to be a control
mechanism of some kind. Right, right,

right, right, right, right. Here, here.

Wow.

What is it?

It's an alphabet square.

These tiles usually spell out some sort
of hidden password.

Uh, something with an even number of
letters.

Why don't we just boot someone up?

Because it could be booby -trapped.

Ah, T -Q -R.

Uh, wait.

Periodic tables, maybe.

Or musical skills?

He was a sailor, not a musician. It
would be something that he knew well.

Yeah.

Smollett?

Firth?

All odd numbers.

Britain?

Uh, the name of Captain Cook's ship.

Right. Reh? Reh?

Do.

Lu.

Chun. Push.

What's the matter?

Our people used to believe that if a
young woman touched Lono...

She'd be pregnant with her new year.

You saw the valley up there.

I sure did.

Excuse me.

Okay.

All right, I got you.

It's been a long time.

Here, I'll give you a hand.

Hey,

what

are you doing? Are you crazy?

Crazy like a fox.

We put out the eyes. Sell them. We'll
have enough bucks to get to L .A.

Come on, guys.

It's not funny.

What about them?

I guess the tribal council just put out
their torch.

Pass me those rocks.

The seal of the sin.

I'm not kidding. The seal of the sin.

Come on!

I'm not coming.

Where are we going?

Come on!

Hey!

Hey, come back here!

Those sneaky little... There's got to be
another way out of here.

No, Firth would only need one entrance.

Let's take a look at the engineering job
that Firth did down here.

Now, to make room for that descender
that Lona was on, he'd have to dig up,

So there must be a warrant of air shafts
that he dug above the ceiling that has

the pulleys that lift the counterweights
and the idol.

Sort of like the fly room above a stage,
right?

Exactly. Remember the senior play?

West Side Story.

How could I forget?

I took the part of Maria just so I could
kiss you.

So the counterweights aren't in this
room. First must have built an access

behind the walls and above the ceiling,
close to the surface, and then covered

it with earth.

We find that.

Wait a minute.

Here, let me try to pry it off.

The access shaft.

Our ticket out of here.

You were right, Sidney.

Hello, boys.

Where are your friends?

I said, where are they?

Keep your head down.

Yay.

It's all right. I'm coming.

Stan and Cartman are definitely going to
pay for this.

There's the jeep.

Oh, God.

They definitely paid.

Dryer.

What time is the plane going to get
here?

It's journey minute.

Good. Give me scotch.

Four others.

Scotch. Have a cognac.

Best any others on the way?

They ain't going to be back this way,
though.

There's an English guy hanging around
here earlier.

You see where he went?

That's four by four drinks. I'll take
one per row. Yeah.

The dryer's still here. He's waiting for
the seaplane.

I'm going to check the bar, okay?

Keep your head down.

I will.

Outside. Let's go.

Okay,

I get the message.

Get up!

You, out of my way. I got a plane to
catch.

Let him go.

I'll tell you what.

You step aside, and I'll forget our past
differences, and you'll both live.

Unfortunately.

I'm not the forgiving type.

When you're a jet.

We got it.

It's a bit heavy.

Lona's back in his place.

Now I'm going to have to think of
another reason to see you.

We were a long time ago, weren't we?

Yeah.

Hey, maybe when West Side Story comes
back into town, I could call you. We'll

catch a show.

Now, that would be nice.

Yeah, that would be nice.

So then he's still closeting himself in
her office?

Humming show tunes.

I've never seen her like this before.

What happened in Hawaii?

She didn't say.

She's clearly traumatized.

Must have something to do with Tony.

The one that got away.

I'm afraid your predictions on that were
slightly off the mark.

Why? Was he fat?

No, quite thin, actually.

Bald? Hardly. If appearances were
anything to go by, it was the perfect

She's been staring at the same page for
hours.

Tony was definitely the one that got
away.

I doubt it. I think as she got to know
him after 15 years, he didn't meet up to

her expectations.

Tony just wasn't Sidney's type.

Poor Sid.

She could be like this for days.

I better cancel all our classes.

You're throwing away your yearbook?

Yes, Claudia, because the past is the
past, and I am Sidney Fox, the

cheerleader, no longer.

Don't we have ancient studies at noon?

Room's all set.

Where are my lecture notes?

In your classroom.

Excellent.

A cheerleader.

With pom -poms.

There are pictures of our Sidney as a
cheerleader in that

yearbook.