Original subtitles

So can I assume the operation was a success?

Well, as you know, cosmetic surgery is more an art than a science, but I think

you'll be quite pleased, Mrs. Luther.

I haven't been Mrs. Luther for ten years.

Don't ever call me that again.

I'm Ariana Carlin.

Of course.

I'm going to remove the bandages now. Please remain still.

Your skin will feel hot as it becomes exposed to the air, but that's normal.

Remarkable, isn't it? Our own Lois Lane.

Once the hair is dyed, even her mother won't be able to tell them apart.

Dr. Heller, you're brilliant.

The world will truly miss you.

Hey, we're back, and we're talking to Harold about this growing controversy

regarding Superman's presence in Metropolis.

What do you think, Harold?

Lex Luthor, a great man, would be alive today if Superman had done his job. Hey,

Joe!

Yeah. Well, isn't this just dandy? Superman saves the day again.

Is there a problem? Yeah.

You. What are you, nuts?

Superman's the greatest.

Oh, yeah?

He's so great, why didn't he save Lex Luthor? I wanted to. Wanted to?

Wanted to's not good enough. Lex Luthor did a lot of good for this city, and you

let him die.

There's more to it than you know, but believe me, I didn't want him to die.

should I believe you?

You're nothing but a freak in a blue suit.

You know what I think?

You save who you want to save.

You call yourself Superman?

I think you think you're Super God.

It would be nice if you were going to use the cream to put it back in the

refrigerator when you're done. Because if you don't, then it spoils and then

we... I'm sorry.

You ask me, Superman just isn't the hero he used to be.

I mean, Lex Luthor may have had his faults, but Superman should have saved

Are you nuts? Luthor was a low -life, scum -sucking criminal. How could

like that guy?

Sorry, Lois.

Morning, Lois. Hey, have you seen this poem with Star today?

What are you reading this rag for, Jimmy? Oh, look at it. It says 20 % of

Metropolis is anti -Superman.

What is wrong with people?

You know what's really weird?

It's when they ask these people why they didn't like Superman.

Half of them couldn't give a specific reason.

I swear we are witnessing the dumbing down of America.

People with opinions who have no idea why they even have opinions.

What is that?

When they remodeled this place, they should have given out an instruction

on this new stuff. That's a fax coming in over your computer.

They all have fax modems now.

Would have been nice if somebody put out a memo.

Well, they did. Check your email.

Nobody's shown me how to retrieve my email.

Well, there's a fax on your computer explaining it.

Looks like it's rush hour on the Superinformation Highway.

Yeah, and I'm stuck in traffic.

Morning. Hey, C .K., have you seen this?

Hostility for Superman seems to be a growing trend.

What are you two still doing here? Thought you were going out to cover the

murder of that plastic surgeon from Lex Lab.

Sorry, Chief. I was a little late getting in this morning. I had a... Uh,

problem.

Dropped on me.

Oh.

Well, as long as you're here.

Might as well listen to this, too.

Okay, everybody, let's gather around and listen up here. I've got an

announcement to make.

As you all know, we've been through some pretty difficult times recently, and

the new owner feels that some of you might be suffering from stress, you

anxiety, short fuses, et cetera.

So as of today,

the Daily Planet now has its very own staff psychiatrist.

What? He can't be serious. That doesn't sound like such a bad idea.

Well, if you want to sit on a couch listening to psychobabble, it's fine

me, but I've got... Excuse me.

Am I interrupting something here?

Now, many of you already might be familiar with this woman from her

column that we've been running called Healing the Inner Self on

the couch.

They yanked a jumble puzzle for that. I was just getting good at that.

Yeah, well, I was getting pretty good at it myself.

I mean, I'm not so hot on this touchy -feely stuff, so that's why I never read

the column.

But it's helping to sell newspapers, and the good doctors convinced our

publisher that, well, she could be of some help here.

How do we even know she's a real doctor?

Half these media shrinks are frauds.

Oh, I'm a real doctor, Miss Lynn.

Of course, I was talking about the other half.

Oh, Dr.

Carlin, I was just explaining about you to the staff.

I'm looking forward to meeting all of you over the next several days.

Please feel free to stop by my office any time.

Okay, folks, let's get to it. We've got some blank pages to fill in.

They're all yours.

Miss Lane, I'm especially looking forward to meeting with you.

Dr. Carlin.

A lot of people have tried to get me on a couch, and after all this time, I

don't think I'm going to start with a psychiatrist.

In my experience, it's the people who say they're fine that need help the

Excuse me. I have work to do.

Did the police say if Dr. Heller was murdered here or just dumped here?

This is just a wild guess, but is something bothering you?

I can't believe her gall. In my experience, it's the people who say

who need help the most.

Lois, she is a professional. Maybe she knows a little bit more about this than

we do. Nobody knows me better than me. And believe me, I'm fine.

Oh, is that why you have all those candy bars in your desk drawer? Those are for

emergency in case I have some drastic drop in blood sugar level. And what were

you doing in my drawers anyway?

Lois. Look at this.

Who are these idiots?

Well, whoever they are, they were clever enough to create an acrostic.

A what?

An acrostic. It's a word or a message subliminally hidden in a series of

In this case, the first letter of each one of these words spells the word stop.

Oh. Well, they're still idiots.

It's ironic, isn't it?

A doctor who makes people look beautiful ends up in a dumpster.

Excuse me. Hey, wait.

We only want to talk to you.

You okay?

Mr. I don't know nothing.

About what?

How'd you catch him?

Hey, hey.

He got, uh, tired.

Look, we're reporters.

We just want to know if you can tell us anything about the body that was found

in that alley.

Lois, I think some money would be a really good idea right about now.

Where's your wallet?

Your hands are free.

Okay, what'd you see?

I saw two guys dumping a body.

I heard one of them call the other one Harry.

Except when they left, I saw that it wasn't guys.

It was chicks.

Well, did you get a good look at either one of them?

Yeah. One.

It was her.

Superman must go! Superman must go! Superman must go! Superman must go!

Superman must go! Superman must go! Superman must go! Superman must go!

me, can you tell me, what is the purpose of this demonstration?

We don't think the city should be honoring Superman, especially after he

Luthor die.

But what do you hope to gain? I've always been concerned about Superman.

Why is he so secretive? What's he got to hide?

I was there when Lex Luthor died. I prayed Superman would save him, but for

reason he decided not to. I think the citizens of Metropolis have a right to

ask, isn't Lex Luthor's blood on Superman's hands?

How'd I

do? How'd you

do?

See what you just did? You used your left hand to protect yourself.

And in front of the cameras, you used your left hand to push your hair back.

How many times do I have to tell you Lois Lane is right -handed?

Sorry. What I'm paying you sorry is not acceptable.

It won't happen again.

Well, it better not.

For your own sake.

People are so easily manipulated.

And this is just the beginning. By the time I'm finished, Metropolis will be

torn apart.

Lois Lane and Superman will wish they had never betrayed Lex Luthor.

Did you get

my order in? Definitely.

Still getting the bulk discount, right?

Well, sure.

By the way, I'm with you 100%. Go get him.

Uh, yeah.

Well... Clark, do I look okay

to you?

Not in a hurry.

Always. Why?

People are looking at me funny.

Have a little paranoia with your coffee this morning, Lois? No, don't start.

Where were you last night? I called you a couple times.

Oh, at the police station.

I stayed there while the detectives interviewed that homeless guy.

And what, am I on my way to the big house?

No, but this young rookie cop did ask for your phone number.

I'm only interested in one man in blue.

Oh.

What?

What's going on?

Grow a second head or something?

I just want you to know what you did took a lot of guts.

Lois, what in the Sam Hill was that stunt you pulled last night?

Our publisher's been all over me like a bad rash.

I don't know what you're talking about, Chief. I'm talking about your virtuoso

performance on the late news.

You were on the news?

You know, if you have an opinion to express, you might consider using our

editorial page.

I wasn't on the news.

Are you saying you weren't at that anti -Superman demonstration last night?

What? Of course not. I was only eating chocolate.

Cottage cheese. Chocolate -flavored cottage cheese. It's a new flavor. I was

doing my laundry.

Lois, you come with me, dear.

I think the citizens of Metropolis have a right to ask, is it like Looper's

blood on Superman's hands?

Now, I could be wrong.

I mean, I've only worked with you for about five years, but I'm seeing some

remarkable similarities here. That's not me.

It's some kind of sick... Joke?

Clark, it's no joke, Lois.

It's a cry for help.

What you're demonstrating are signs of post -traumatic stress.

Short -term memory loss, erratic behavior.

But I can help, if you let me.

No, thank you.

Now, Lois, you know I'm not one to meddle in the lives of my reporters, but

would strongly suggest that you take the good doctor up on her offer.

Perry. Lois, maybe he's right.

Well, I can't.

We have to attend Lex's will reading.

It's part of our series on the breakup of LexCorp.

Yeah, but that's not till this afternoon.

That gives you plenty of time to have a nice little chat with Dr. Carlin. Los,

go ahead.

I'll meet you back here in a couple of hours.

Hi, Dad.

Sorry.

Give me a little warning next time, would you, son?

So when do we start blaming my parents for everything?

Maybe later.

Right now it might help if we talked about what's been happening in your life

the past few months.

You must admit you have been under heavy emotional stress.

And after what you did on television last night, I... Here, Dad. Yeah,

I'm not a doctor, son, but can a person be under so much stress that... I'd

forget I was on television?

I don't think so.

Lois, you can't ignore what took place on your wedding day.

The events surrounding Lex Luthor really affected her, but she's too stubborn to

admit it.

You just keep on being patient and understanding. She'll come through it.

Yeah, but when?

Behavior like yours could, if left untreated, turn violent.

Tell me, have you had the desire to strike out at anybody recently?

The only desire I've had lately is for double fudge crunch bars.

I'm not hungry.

I've been so worried about Lois lately, I haven't had much of an appetite.

Well, at least she's working with this Dr. Carlin now.

That's a start.

See, I guess it all started with Lex's proposal.

It was the last thing I expected.

And then the planet was destroyed. I wasn't sleeping much.

And then Clark decided to tell me he loved me.

I was desperate to stop her from marrying Lex.

But it didn't work.

And then when he suddenly changed his mind and told me he didn't love me.

that combined with everything else.

What's your relationship with Clark now?

Well, for a second I thought there might be something between us, but... I guess

we're best friends, and I would never do anything to jeopardize that.

But you lied to her about your true feelings.

I crossed my fingers when I did it.

Why did you lie to her at all?

Because I know the only person she's in love with... Is Superman.

So you never loved Lex?

I was attracted to his power and to what I thought was a great humanitarian,

but... No.

I never loved Lex.

Have you ever loved someone and knew you'd love them your entire life whether

not they ever loved you in return?

Once.

I loved him as much as any woman could love a man.

And even though he divorced me, I still love him to this day.

So you understand my feelings for Superman?

Oh, yeah.

Very much so.

What's the story?

Off the record, she's got a lot of problems.

I'm afraid we're going to see things get worse before they get better.

And to the Metropolis Arts Council, Mr. Luther bequeaths the sum of $50 ,000.

To the Metropolis Children's Summer Camp, Mr. Luther has left the sum of $25

,000 to be distributed as seen fit by the camp's board of directors.

In addition, the will instructs that the Metropolis Summer Music Fair receive

the sum of... How was your session with Dr. Carlin?

How do you think?

Sitting on a couch telling a complete stranger my most private thoughts.

Well,

maybe I got a few things off my chest.

Anyway,

it's over and now I'm fine.

Quick healing.

Are you okay?

I can't believe it.

He never said a word about it.

That lying, no -good... He was... He was Mary Clark.

All those times he told me I was his first true love.

Lois, maybe we should just try to find her. She may know something about the

disappearance of Luther's body.

Yeah. I'd like to meet the woman that said I do before I did.

Almost did.

Didn't.

Let's go.

I'd like to see him, of course.

How is he, Gretchen?

Better. The brain waves have stabilized.

Tomorrow I'll begin a mild stimulation to initiate regeneration.

He always said you were the best physician he ever had.

I can't tell you how comforting it is to have you caring for him.

A labor of love.

It's very special to me.

It's Aaron.

We got into your penthouse.

I have the kryptonite.

It won't be long now.

Be well, darling.

Morning.

Morning. Any luck on your search for ACL Corporation?

None.

It's not listed anywhere. Now Luther's lawyer won't return my phone call.

You?

Spent three hours at the Bureau of Vital Statistics yesterday. There's no

marriage certificate on Lex in this state or any other.

Jimmy, find anything on Luther's marriage?

You bet I did.

Turns out he was married in a ship in the Caribbean. I found this wedding

announcement that ran the planet ten years ago.

No picture.

No maiden name. Yeah, I know, but I'm going to try to track down that ship's

captain.

Wallace Lane?

Yeah? Detective Wright of Metropolis PD.

You want to tell me where you were last night around 1 o 'clock?

I was home asleep. Why?

Well, can anyone verify that?

No, of course not. I sleep alone.

By choice.

What's this about, Detective?

At 1 a .m. last night, a guard was assaulted outside Lex Luthor's penthouse

woman he's identified as Miss Lane.

Well, that's ridiculous.

This picture was taken by a security camera outside the penthouse.

As far as we can make out, the only item taken was an engagement ring Mr. Luther

had given Miss Lane worth a half a million dollars.

Miss Lane, you're under arrest.

What? For aggravated assault, breaking and entering, and grand theft.

The suit man's getting out of hand. What these people need is a good swift...

Thanks for sending me out so fast. Another minute I would have been judging

best tattoo contest.

So, any idea who's setting me up?

Wait a minute.

You don't actually think I did these things?

Lois, we're not exactly sure what to believe right now. Well, let me help

There is someone out there who looks like me who is trying to ruin my life.

Lois, I've had a little talk with Dr.

Carlin, and I think the best thing for you right now... is to go home, get a

little rest. I can't believe... Lois, I want you to take the rest of the week

off.

And I want you to schedule an appointment with Dr. Carlin. Now, is

I have to go find for my purse.

I'm worried about her, Chief.

Yeah, me too.

See if she gets home okay.

I'll see you back at the planet.

What are you going to do with all this free time?

Well, learn piano.

Maybe work on my tan.

Or I might try finding out who's setting me up.

Now, are you going to help me, or am I going to have to do this alone?

Lois, it's not that I don't want to help you. It's just that... Just what?

Clark, can't you see that some strange things have been happening? I am

for a crime I did not commit.

People are suddenly at each other's throats over Superman. A plastic surgeon

used to work at Lex Labs is murdered.

Now, I can't prove that all these things are connected, but my reporter's

instinct says something's up.

What does your instinct say?

My instincts say... never argue with a woman who's just been behind bars.

What do you want to do?

Okay.

If there's a woman out there who looks like me, and we know there is because

there's no other rational explanation, so don't bother arguing with me. She

have had plastic surgery. And what famous plastic surgeon has been in the

Dr. Heller. Yeah, and according to that homeless guy, Dr. Heller was killed by

somebody who looked exactly like me. Only we both know it couldn't have been

could it?

Don't answer that rhetorical question.

So... So maybe we should stop by the dead doctor's office and see who some of

his more recent patients have been.

You still think I'm crazy?

I think you're brilliant.

But there is a fine line between brilliance and lunacy.

If the mob endorsed a gun, that'd be it.

It'll stop whatever you're aiming at.

Super.

I'll take it.

Okay.

Sign the license.

Smile pretty for the government.

Do we even know where Dr. Heller's office is?

No. Maybe it's in the phone book.

Okay.

Why'd you just do that?

What? You stuck your finger in the coin return.

Well, what's the big deal? It's just a habit. Everybody does it.

Do you always do it? I don't know.

Maybe.

Why?

I just think it's interesting.

You're a well -paid professional. Why do you feel like you have to look for

loose change?

Not everything a person does has some hidden meaning.

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

Great. The page with Dr. Heller's address is torn out of the phone. Maybe

in the white pages.

You know, I don't think people realize just how incon... considerate it is to

like rip pages out of a public homework.

Here it is.

Come on.

Taxi!

I can't believe he ignored me like that.

Taxi!

Taxi!

Well, he must have super hearing.

Well, Lois, how exactly are we going to get into Dr. Heller's office and look at

his records?

I mean, that information is confidential.

It's not going to be that hard, Clark.

I'll just ask to see my file.

Oh, I'm sorry. That'll close.

I just need my file.

Oh, yeah, I don't know if you heard, but Dr. Heller died, so we're moving

everything into storage. That's why I need my file. See, this is my new

and he needs to look it over for medical reasons.

My patient is suffering some side effects from the operation Dr. Heller

performed on her.

Some physical, some mental.

Oh, well, I guess we'll be okay.

Name?

Name. Yeah, your name.

Don't you recognize me? I come here a lot. Oh, I wouldn't know. I'm to the

She's a temp.

Obviously, you are really busy. So why don't I just go through some of these

boxes myself? If you want it, I need to know the name on the file. Well, I

wouldn't presume to know the name on the file. How would I know how Dr. Heller's

filing system works? Maybe it's in here.

Hey, you can't go in there.

Very subtle, Lois. Why don't you just knock her out with a sledgehammer?

Someone's trying to frame me, Clark. I don't have time to be clever.

Look at this.

It's marked year to date.

Give me those.

Dr. Heller's last operation.

Performed the week before he was killed. Full facial reconstruction, but there's

no patient name.

Look at this.

Female, my height, my weight.

Look who paid for it.

ACL Corporation, the same company that handles Mrs. Luther's annuity.

Luther's ex -wife is out to get me? Why?

It's not like I stole him away at the homecoming dance.

Who knows? Let's just find her.

It's Jimmy.

Daily Planet.

Hey, PK, good news. I found the ship's captain who married the Luthers.

Yeah, he's at the, uh, Queensland retirement home.

Anytime. Just put in a good word for me with Perry.

They sent Lois Lane home. Are you ready?

Good. Give me 30 minutes to get out of here and then do it.

Captain Keene?

Yes. Hi, I'm Lois Lane. This is Clark Kent from the Daily Planet.

Pleased to meet you both.

Can we talk to you for a minute?

Hey, I'm retired. You can talk to me for a year.

Please sit down.

Captain, it was our understanding that you performed the marriage of Lex

Oh, yeah, I married him.

Some kid called and said you'd be coming by.

Of course, Luthor wasn't anybody then, but I could tell he was a comer.

And that bride of his, she was... Something like me?

No, much prettier.

And really built.

Now, what are you supposed to make a fellow like that jump off a building?

You'd think with all of his money, he'd have come up with a better escape plan.

Captain, do you remember the name of the bride?

Sure, Mrs. Luther.

Hey, that's a joke.

I'm retired.

I ain't senile.

Oh, the kid said you might want to see a wedding picture.

You know, I got pictures of everybody I ever married.

Oh.

There you go.

Lex Luthor and Harry Carlin.

Married October 8th, 1984.

Ariana Carlin is Mrs.

Luthor. That guy in the alley, he thought he heard Harry. It was Harry.

Chief, have you seen Dr. Carlin? Yeah, she's gone for the day. Why?

I found this book of hers on subliminal advertising and I wanted her to

autograph it for my mom's birthday.

Whatever happened to chocolates and flowers?

My mom's overweight and she's got allergies.

Oh.

Well, give her the book.

Lois, I thought I told you to take the rest of the week off.

I'm through taking orders from you.

And I'm through with the planet. Consider this my two -week notice.

I'm sorry, but you're a little plain for me.

Plain?

Sure beats whatever shopping channel convinced you that was a good look.

Hey, you gotta act like a pretty glorified typist. You gotta dress the

Well, my hair has a lot more bounce than this cheap wig.

Look.

You don't seem to be yourself today.

It was Lois.

She's gone crazy.

She came in here and she threw a tear gas canister. No, it wasn't Lois, Mr.

White. She's been set up. There's a double.

A double?

Did you see which way she went? Yeah, yeah. She went back down the elevator.

Hey, Clark.

Lois' suspicions were right.

There is a double. I know. Where's Ariana?

She left before it happened. Why?

Ariana Carlin was married to Lex Luthor. I don't believe it.

Not only that, but she had Dr. Heller create the double, then she killed him.

Now she's trying to destroy Lois.

Great shades of Elvis.

Detective Ryder, please.

I can't believe that woman pulled the wool over my eyes like that.

Don't feel so bad, Chief. She wrote the book on it.

That's it.

Ask him to put out an APB on Dr. Carlin. Chief.

These are all of Ariana's latest columns.

Exactly. What is it you're looking for?

Subliminal messages.

I got it.

When you link together the first letter of each one of these paragraphs, it

spells the message, Superman is evil.

Well, I'll pay.

Man of steel wicked.

Superman must die.

It's no wonder that 20 % of Metropolis is suddenly anti -Superman. Yeah, well,

the doctor's got a loyal following. Hey, let's see what she's got planned for

tomorrow.

Lane, murder of Superman, good.

That lunatic's planning on having Lois' double kill Superman? And tear the city

apart over her trial.

Well, you know, she's one brick shy of a full load. Nobody can kill Superman.

C .K.

I was giving the APB to the cops when Dr. Carlin called for you.

She's online, too.

Ariana? Clark, I need your help.

Lois has gone over the edge.

Where are you?

Lex Luthor's penthouse.

Lois is threatening to kill herself unless she can speak to Superman.

He'll be there as soon as I can contact him.

Perfect.

Clark will testify at your trial.

That I was only concerned with your well -being.

The helpful therapist to the end.

Of course, you'll totally insist that you've been framed.

That it was actually me who killed Superman.

Classic guilt transference.

You're the one that needs help.

Nothing can kill Superman.

You remember Kryptonite?

You're the one who named it.

And this gun that you bought.

Well, grip him with it.

And then you will know the pain that I felt when you drove the love of my life

to his death.

I didn't drive Lex to his death.

You're an update of denial, Lois.

Too bad we don't have more time to explore that.

Hurry up. You'll be here in a minute.

Who are you?

Let's just say I was an accident victim who was in the right place at the right

time.

Hello, if you look a little draft if your doctor I'm going to prescribe a

sedative

Lois

She'll be fine

I really thought you were smarter than this.

I really am.

I

can imagine

what's running through your head right now.

Shock.

Confusion.

Outrage. The same emotions I felt when you let Lex die.

You'll wake up in a few minutes.

Although I'm sure you'll wish you hadn't.

Let's go.

Lois, can you hear me?

Superman? Superman, I'll call an ambulance.

No, too long.

It has to come out now.

I don't know if I can do this.

Get that away from me.

The middle of the Bermuda Triangle would be fine.

Hey, lady, I ain't got nothing to steal. Shut up and drive.

It's right behind us. We'll never lose it.

Well, maybe you'd like to get out now.

No!

I guess he doesn't read your column.

Lois, ten minutes to our deadline.

Almost done.

Jimmy, what is that?

Oh, it's Ariana's book.

I'm going to get a refund.

What do you think of this tagline?

And so in the end, Ariana Carlin Luther proved to be no less evil than her ex

-husband. And thanks to Superman, Metropolis can now bring to a close the

chapter of the House of Luther.

I like it.

What's the matter?

Well, I found out something about Superman that I didn't put in the story.

I don't know if I should.

Is it newsworthy?

Very.

It's just kind of a personal thing.

Lois, you've got great reporter instincts.

Trust him.

Lois, look.

Now that Dr. Carlin and your double are enjoying...

Deluxe accommodations with a fabulous view of the exercise yard.

I would strongly suggest that you take a little time off. You know, I think I

will. You will?

Clark, are you sure we're talking to the real Lois Lane?

Lois, what are you going to do with all your free time?

I don't know.

Maybe I'll take a cruise through the Bermuda Triangle.

And dies.

Try not to let this place fall apart while I'm gone.

Yep.

That's our Lois.

A genuine article.

I've got some bad news, Lex.

Mariana failed.

But don't worry.

You'll always have me.