Original subtitles

Hi, sweetheart.

How's my girl doing all by herself with the two boys?

Oh, they're a handful.

Actually, can I call you back, babe?

It's 3 .30.

They haven't eaten for hours. You know how they get when they're hungry.

That sounds like they're babies.

They're never going to grow up. You do realize the boys are 29 and 30.

30, Dee.

That's the age I was when I married you. Oh, wouldn't that be nice? The boys got

married and left the nest?

Maybe you could talk to him.

Persuade him that there's more to life than just video games and beer.

Honey, this is something they need to learn.

They need to find their own motivation. Well, maybe it runs in the family.

Didn't you say you were a late bloomer?

Uh -huh. Well, I didn't meet my first girlfriend, their mom, until I

That's true.

So what convinced you to...

Leave the house and get a job, get married.

That's the wrong order. I saw the beautiful woman, which gave me the

to leave the house and find the career.

What the fuck, man? We're on the same team. You just hit me.

I should have been paying attention.

Damn,

did you see that?

I've never even been on this level before.

She was that hot as a G .I. Jane bitch.

I mean, she was hot, but not that hot.

Oh.

A girl that hot would never let her wife have a dork like you.

The last time you were with a girl that hot.

Okay, boys, I got it.

Whoa! Where did that dude come from?

The West Tower, dude. Come on.

Now we have to start over at level one.

Hey, Ma, you okay?

I'm fine, boys. Don't worry about me.

Oh, fuck yeah! Let's go!

500 rounds, 10 RPGs, and 5 frags. Yeah, let's go!

Hey, Ma, did you get those Louis Lemon Zingers I like?

What? It's a pistol.

And the girl drinks those.

You don't have a girl.

I have a girl. And she's hard with those G .I. Jane over there.

Wait.

How far have you gone with her?

You're gonna, like, send her my way when you're done, right?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

She's not one of, like, these bar babes.

She's different, you know?

She's mature.

So you mean old.

No, she's not fucking old.

I mean she might be a little older than these girls at the bar, but She's like

around mom's age I

was driving down Samuelson and I saw her hanging out at the bus stop

and Basically wanted to talk to her so I pulled up and

pretend like she was someone that I knew

So lame.

Whatever.

I just wanted to talk to her. I asked if she needed a ride and drove her to

work.

Right. So that's when you made your move, right?

No. I mean, we talked a lot. I mean, it was a long -ass ride, so I

lied and said I was heading that way anyways.

And when we finally got to her office, gave her my number and told her I'd like

to get to know her better.

And then you went in for a kiss, right? Grab her titty.

Dude, come on.

Start the game back up.

No, I didn't make a move on her.

She's not like a slut.

She's actually a pretty solid lady.

I mean, one look at her and I was thinking, this is someone that I'd

to have in my life.

Damn, that sounds kind of nice.

Yeah.

Well, I already fucked it up.

Because she called me this morning and I didn't answer.

What?

She's going to get to know me. I'm going to get to know her. And that is that.

So you're not even going to try?

I'm in.

Sleeping?

No. I'm wide awake.

I couldn't fall asleep.

Me neither.

I miss your dad when he's gone, you know?

What's on your mind?

Nothing. Just stuff.

No, honey.

You know you've always been my favorite. I can read you.

And Jason, how many nights have we stayed up just talking about whatever?

So come on, Dish.

I don't know.

Lately, I've been feeling like I've been stuck.

I don't know if that makes sense.

Stuck?

Like...

Every day is the same.

You know, I wake up, maybe Cody and I will go out or something.

Most of the time, we just end up chilling and doing nothing.

And... Cool.

But... It's like, if I didn't have you guys, I don't know what I would do.

But you want something more than family.

Yeah. I mean... My world is so small.

And I know it's all my fault.

You got a girl you like?

Yeah.

Wow, that's a spirit. I mean, you used to be such a ladies' man in college.

I mean, how many girls did you sneak out of here first thing in the morning?

Yeah, but that was then.

Well, what's changed?

The girls changed.

They're women now.

And I don't... They have, like, complex needs, and they are needs that

I don't think I'd be able to provide.

Well, don't sell yourself short. I mean, you're absolutely capable of these

things.

Like, what?

I don't know.

Whatever it is, I can't give it to them.

Like... What about the money your dad gives you for helping with the lawn

Could you take a girl out?

Impress her?

Okay, and then what?

I'm bringing them back here.

Maybe stuck isn't the right word, but I'm... I

don't know. It's like with all my friends and my peers, I'm just very much

behind them.

They're all out buying houses, getting married.

Having kids.

And I'm still here.

Stuck.

I think you just need a little motivation.

Maybe.

What if I shared a secret with you? Just you and me.

What if I told you that if I wasn't married to your dad, I'd be looking for

guy just...

I know you're only saying that, though, because you're my stepmom.

No, I... Honestly, you're such a handsome boy.

Such a handsome, sweet, thoughtful young man.

Anyone would be lucky to have you.

Handsome?

You think a woman like yourself would think a guy like me is handsome?

I absolutely think a woman my age would be attracted to you.

No, I'm serious.

Do you remember last December?

Yeah, when we were putting up the Christmas lights.

Yeah, well, you've forgotten. It's probably for the best.

No, I haven't forgot.

You were drinking those Santa Cosmopolsons, and you

mistook me for Dad for a minute, and then... I lied.

Listen, your dad's gone so much.

And you really are irresistible.

Yeah, okay, I had a drink.

But I knew what I was doing.

And then I realized it might be a mistake. So I lied.

Okay.

That's very sweet, Mom.

But you don't have to go around telling me that...

I'm handsome or white.

Truth is, I ache for you.

You're turning me on so much.

No, we shouldn't.

Mom, I need this.

I need you to make me feel like a man.

Oh my god, he feels so good.

He feels so good in his mouth.

Such a big boy.

Oh,

my

God.

Mommy's mouth feels good.

It feels so fucking good.

Mommy's taking care of me so well.

Love you, sweet boy.

Are you touching yourself?

Yes, baby. I can't help it.

Pussy meat.

So good.

Oh, yes.

Oh, it's so good.

Oh, it's so good. Oh,

it's so good.

Fuck!

Always an overachiever.

That's really nice.