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1
00:00:09,960 --> 00:00:11,220
Um, it feels kind of funny.
2
00:00:11,560 --> 00:00:14,990
Well, then I must be doing something
wrong. It should feel hilarious.
3
00:00:15,980 --> 00:00:17,540
This is all happening so fast.
4
00:00:17,780 --> 00:00:20,060
I know, but it just feels so right.
5
00:00:20,560 --> 00:00:24,350
A magical dinner for two at the finest
hotel, buffet, and walking distance.
6
00:00:24,680 --> 00:00:28,740
What better way to end two -for -one
Tuesdays than through becoming one?
7
00:00:29,360 --> 00:00:30,410
That's beautiful.
8
00:00:31,260 --> 00:00:32,310
More wine?
9
00:00:33,860 --> 00:00:34,910
I'm sorry.
10
00:00:35,200 --> 00:00:36,400
What's wrong? Too cold?
11
00:00:36,680 --> 00:00:38,560
I can warm you up. No, not cold.
12
00:00:38,780 --> 00:00:39,880
Ah. Too warm.
13
00:00:39,881 --> 00:00:41,779
Maybe you're wearing too many bras.
14
00:00:41,780 --> 00:00:44,960
I can help you with that. I think the
problem is that guy.
15
00:00:45,540 --> 00:00:48,000
Don't mind me, guys. Pretend I'm not
even here.
16
00:00:49,900 --> 00:00:51,480
Right. I'll take care of it.
17
00:00:52,480 --> 00:00:53,530
Hey, Peter.
18
00:00:53,740 --> 00:00:56,140
Would you like a very special cupcake?
19
00:00:57,240 --> 00:00:58,290
Obviously.
20
00:00:58,740 --> 00:01:00,420
Don't worry. I drugged his cupcake.
21
00:01:00,660 --> 00:01:01,940
He'll sleep like a baby.
22
00:01:02,160 --> 00:01:03,780
Yeah, but he's still right there.
23
00:01:05,440 --> 00:01:06,700
Right. Sorry.
24
00:01:07,160 --> 00:01:08,300
I'm being insensitive.
25
00:01:13,230 --> 00:01:14,570
Good night, sweet prince.
26
00:01:15,030 --> 00:01:17,050
But leap now, so that I may hump.
27
00:01:17,390 --> 00:01:19,190
Now, where... Denise?
28
00:01:21,470 --> 00:01:22,830
Oh, damn it.
29
00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:25,370
I must kill President.
30
00:01:26,190 --> 00:01:27,930
Probably shouldn't have said hump.
31
00:01:34,681 --> 00:01:41,969
Hey, Bernie, how you doing? I work at
Sassitude. Shoot me in the face and end
32
00:01:41,970 --> 00:01:45,240
now. But first, I need a cupcake.
33
00:01:45,560 --> 00:01:46,610
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
34
00:01:46,611 --> 00:01:47,839
Can't have those.
35
00:01:47,840 --> 00:01:50,190
Terry, it's okay. I'm on this all
-cupcake diet.
36
00:01:50,191 --> 00:01:53,579
Okay, that was a lie, but wouldn't that
be awesome? No, no, you can't eat those
37
00:01:53,580 --> 00:01:54,630
cupcakes.
38
00:01:55,560 --> 00:01:57,790
They're drugged for when I bring girls
home.
39
00:01:57,840 --> 00:01:59,100
I'm sorry, what was that?
40
00:01:59,300 --> 00:02:00,800
Bernie, I don't drug the women.
41
00:02:00,801 --> 00:02:04,139
I'm not a monster. I drug Peter so I can
have sex with women while he's
42
00:02:04,140 --> 00:02:05,400
unconscious on the floor.
43
00:02:05,401 --> 00:02:10,319
I think this idea seems way less creepy
when I don't say it out loud, although
44
00:02:10,320 --> 00:02:12,159
I'm starting to realize why it never
worked.
45
00:02:12,160 --> 00:02:15,099
You're drugging your own brother. Do you
know how dangerous that is? Don't
46
00:02:15,100 --> 00:02:16,520
worry. These are pretty safe.
47
00:02:17,140 --> 00:02:20,980
Side effects include dry mouth,
persistent erections, and sleep heroics.
48
00:02:21,280 --> 00:02:22,330
Sleep heroic?
49
00:02:30,160 --> 00:02:31,210
See?
50
00:02:31,211 --> 00:02:32,679
Dry mouth.
51
00:02:32,680 --> 00:02:33,730
No big deal.
52
00:02:34,760 --> 00:02:35,810
Oh, whoa.
53
00:02:36,080 --> 00:02:37,130
That is persistent.
54
00:02:37,540 --> 00:02:39,280
But harmless. No one's getting hurt.
55
00:02:39,580 --> 00:02:40,900
My head's killing me.
56
00:02:42,560 --> 00:02:44,730
Hmm. Doesn't say anything about
headaches.
57
00:02:45,260 --> 00:02:46,310
Wow.
58
00:02:49,280 --> 00:02:50,330
That is persistent.
59
00:02:51,620 --> 00:02:53,480
Hey, what are you guys talking about?
60
00:02:54,060 --> 00:02:55,700
Next time, just get a hotel room.
61
00:02:56,340 --> 00:03:00,040
Who can afford a hotel on $10 .25 an
hour? Oh, $10 .25 an hour?
62
00:03:00,640 --> 00:03:02,060
I know. That's nothing.
63
00:03:02,061 --> 00:03:05,439
I guess you should have stayed here with
us. You'd be making $20 by now, like me
64
00:03:05,440 --> 00:03:07,000
and Pete. I only make $10.
65
00:03:07,240 --> 00:03:10,780
What? How do you guys live? Do you make
your own clothes?
66
00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:13,450
That's ridiculous.
67
00:03:13,700 --> 00:03:15,280
Make her own clothes, eh?
68
00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:20,320
Oh, uh -oh. Okay. Uh -huh.
69
00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:21,640
Uh, that's gonna hurt.
70
00:03:22,120 --> 00:03:23,440
Okay. All right.
71
00:03:24,460 --> 00:03:26,960
I will just dig it out with these
scissors.
72
00:03:27,500 --> 00:03:31,020
Oh, that's much worse. Just stitch
through it. Just stitch through it,
73
00:03:31,040 --> 00:03:32,090
Come on.
74
00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:33,610
Scissors again.
75
00:03:33,660 --> 00:03:36,780
I'm ruining my shirt.
76
00:03:37,540 --> 00:03:39,160
That's what's really upsetting.
77
00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:40,940
Hey! Hey.
78
00:03:40,941 --> 00:03:43,319
You know that Dad always paid me a
quarter more.
79
00:03:43,320 --> 00:03:45,920
Yeah, when we were 12, we should make
the same.
80
00:03:46,240 --> 00:03:48,600
Your goal is $10 .25 an hour?
81
00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:50,060
That's so adorable.
82
00:03:50,600 --> 00:03:54,559
Look, I would love to give you a raise,
but we have to minimize costs to keep
83
00:03:54,560 --> 00:03:55,610
prices low.
84
00:03:55,720 --> 00:03:57,220
Remember what Dad used to say?
85
00:03:57,340 --> 00:03:58,720
Get your finger out of there.
86
00:03:59,560 --> 00:04:05,180
He also used to say, great comics for
great people at great prices.
87
00:04:05,540 --> 00:04:09,780
I love watching you guys bond, but time
is money, for me anyway.
88
00:04:10,510 --> 00:04:12,090
See you at lunch, poor pants.
89
00:04:12,650 --> 00:04:13,700
Poor pants?
90
00:04:14,630 --> 00:04:15,680
Really?
91
00:04:15,990 --> 00:04:20,230
Sorry. It's just so rare I actually get
to feel superior to anyone.
92
00:04:20,231 --> 00:04:22,569
All right, knock yourself out.
93
00:04:22,570 --> 00:04:27,550
Why don't you go sell your blood at the
place where they pay you for your blood?
94
00:04:28,410 --> 00:04:29,460
The blood bank?
95
00:04:29,470 --> 00:04:30,520
I'm on fire.
96
00:04:32,390 --> 00:04:36,689
Hey, maybe I should make $10 .25 an hour
and you can make $10. That way prices
97
00:04:36,690 --> 00:04:37,740
stay the same.
98
00:04:38,130 --> 00:04:39,180
No.
99
00:04:39,980 --> 00:04:41,540
And get your finger out of there.
100
00:04:42,940 --> 00:04:43,990
Whatever, Dad.
101
00:04:53,940 --> 00:04:57,070
Another coffee break? Really? Or should
I say cupcake break?
102
00:04:57,071 --> 00:05:00,879
I'll have you know I didn't have a
cupcake because it was drugged. You know
103
00:05:00,880 --> 00:05:01,919
sad that sounds?
104
00:05:01,920 --> 00:05:02,970
I do, yes.
105
00:05:02,971 --> 00:05:06,439
Look, I know folding's pretty darn
complicated for someone with your wide
106
00:05:06,440 --> 00:05:09,040
fingers, but who is going to buy a
wrinkled shirt?
107
00:05:09,641 --> 00:05:13,609
Oh, you're right. That is a huge
problem.
108
00:05:13,610 --> 00:05:16,150
If only there were some way I could
refold it.
109
00:05:17,450 --> 00:05:21,670
Maybe you could refold all of them. But
those ones aren't wrinkled. Really?
110
00:05:23,310 --> 00:05:24,850
Now they are.
111
00:05:25,190 --> 00:05:27,240
Come on, that took me like three
minutes.
112
00:05:27,241 --> 00:05:30,509
Nice attitude. You know, this is why
you're never going to make manager
113
00:05:30,510 --> 00:05:31,770
Why? How much do you make?
114
00:05:31,930 --> 00:05:33,010
Eight dollars an hour.
115
00:05:33,150 --> 00:05:34,970
Ha! Eight dollars an hour?
116
00:05:35,190 --> 00:05:36,870
That's not even half of what I make.
117
00:05:36,990 --> 00:05:41,070
What? You make more money than I do?
Yeah. What do you have to say about
118
00:05:41,740 --> 00:05:43,300
Yeah, I guess it sounds fair.
119
00:05:43,301 --> 00:05:47,379
Really? Mm -hmm. Because in two years,
I'm going to be married to a CEO with
120
00:05:47,380 --> 00:05:50,520
washboard abs, and you will still be
here, aging badly.
121
00:05:51,540 --> 00:05:52,590
You don't know that.
122
00:05:52,591 --> 00:05:56,019
Oh, yes, I do know that. You are going
to die working at Sassitude. You are
123
00:05:56,020 --> 00:05:57,340
going to be buried in Spanx.
124
00:05:58,360 --> 00:05:59,680
Maybe I'll just fold these.
125
00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:03,779
There you go. See, even though you make
more, you still have to do what I tell
126
00:06:03,780 --> 00:06:04,830
you.
127
00:06:04,920 --> 00:06:05,970
Smile!
128
00:06:05,971 --> 00:06:10,709
I can't believe there are suckers out
there who would do this for half of what
129
00:06:10,710 --> 00:06:11,760
make.
130
00:06:13,570 --> 00:06:14,620
Fuckers.
131
00:06:15,150 --> 00:06:16,350
Oh, thank you very much.
132
00:06:16,910 --> 00:06:17,960
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
133
00:06:17,961 --> 00:06:22,169
What are you doing? I'm evening out the
wage disparity in this place. First of
134
00:06:22,170 --> 00:06:23,929
all, great use of the word disparity.
135
00:06:23,930 --> 00:06:24,889
Thank you.
136
00:06:24,890 --> 00:06:28,500
It's on my word of the day calendar. I
thought it was quite perspicacious.
137
00:06:28,610 --> 00:06:31,210
Was that yesterday's word? No, I just
made it up.
138
00:06:32,170 --> 00:06:36,090
Second of all, those aren't wages.
They're tips for my excellent service.
139
00:06:36,330 --> 00:06:37,530
Isn't that right, Boyd?
140
00:06:37,610 --> 00:06:38,660
Oh, sorry, Pete.
141
00:06:38,990 --> 00:06:40,310
He's earned every penny.
142
00:06:40,950 --> 00:06:42,610
He made a heart with the foam.
143
00:06:42,850 --> 00:06:44,730
Oh, that's because I love you.
144
00:06:45,350 --> 00:06:46,630
Damn, he's good.
145
00:06:46,631 --> 00:06:51,149
Okay, well, then I'll just take over the
coffee counter. Right? How hard could
146
00:06:51,150 --> 00:06:52,200
it be?
147
00:06:53,010 --> 00:06:54,060
Huh.
148
00:06:56,270 --> 00:06:57,530
Is it supposed to do that?
149
00:06:57,910 --> 00:06:59,610
Is anything supposed to do that?
150
00:06:59,611 --> 00:07:03,309
Fine, you know what? I'll just set up a
tip jar at the comic counter, and you
151
00:07:03,310 --> 00:07:04,390
can't have any of that.
152
00:07:04,890 --> 00:07:06,450
How are you going to get tipped?
153
00:07:06,570 --> 00:07:07,710
Oh, I've got a few ideas.
154
00:07:07,950 --> 00:07:11,850
Oh, my God, that poor woman, she's dead.
155
00:07:13,490 --> 00:07:14,540
Is she?
156
00:07:16,430 --> 00:07:17,570
Peter, that's amazing.
157
00:07:17,670 --> 00:07:20,030
Why do I ever question you? You're the
best.
158
00:07:20,330 --> 00:07:21,410
Thank you, young man.
159
00:07:22,790 --> 00:07:29,709
Um... Fifteenth and... Keeping in mind
you don't have
160
00:07:29,710 --> 00:07:30,729
magical powers.
161
00:07:30,730 --> 00:07:31,810
Ben, I've got nothing.
162
00:07:32,090 --> 00:07:33,170
You've had a rough day.
163
00:07:33,290 --> 00:07:34,970
I'm giving you a ten -minute break.
164
00:07:35,290 --> 00:07:36,790
Who made you Lord of the Break?
165
00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:38,490
That's my job as manager.
166
00:07:39,190 --> 00:07:41,900
Manager? What? I have way more
experience than you do.
167
00:07:42,050 --> 00:07:45,549
True, but I went to Harvard Business
School. You failed out of Harvard
168
00:07:45,550 --> 00:07:48,729
School. Yeah, what's the best school
you've ever failed out of? The School of
169
00:07:48,730 --> 00:07:51,070
Life. You failed out of the School of
Life.
170
00:07:51,950 --> 00:07:54,290
Well, you failed out of Little Dick
College.
171
00:07:54,810 --> 00:07:56,370
Why? Because I have a big dick?
172
00:07:56,690 --> 00:07:57,740
Shut up.
173
00:07:57,741 --> 00:08:00,609
We're going to have to discuss these
little outbursts of yours at your next
174
00:08:00,610 --> 00:08:01,509
performance review.
175
00:08:01,510 --> 00:08:06,119
Fine. I'll do your little performance
review, and we'll see who's manager
176
00:08:06,120 --> 00:08:07,170
that.
177
00:08:07,440 --> 00:08:14,400
So tell me, Peter, what would you say
your greatest weakness is?
178
00:08:15,840 --> 00:08:22,420
Um, well, uh, I'm not great at dealing
with people or handling money.
179
00:08:22,620 --> 00:08:29,359
Money. And, uh, I'm not so good with
180
00:08:29,360 --> 00:08:30,410
fail.
181
00:08:30,859 --> 00:08:33,559
or not lighting things on fire.
182
00:08:34,320 --> 00:08:38,439
So I guess my greatest weakness would
have to be my inability to rank my
183
00:08:38,440 --> 00:08:39,490
weaknesses?
184
00:08:39,491 --> 00:08:44,038
This is ridiculous. You can't just come
back here after all these years and be
185
00:08:44,039 --> 00:08:45,239
in charge of everything.
186
00:08:45,560 --> 00:08:50,520
Well, to be fair, I don't have potential
in your review. You make more money,
187
00:08:50,521 --> 00:08:53,559
you gotta be manager, you have better
hair, you're a way better dancer.
188
00:08:53,560 --> 00:08:54,379
Where are you going with this?
189
00:08:54,380 --> 00:08:57,499
Well, I mean, you make all the decisions
without even asking me.
190
00:08:57,500 --> 00:09:00,439
Well, to be fair, if we're just gonna do
things my way... What's the point of
191
00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:04,559
asking you? The point is, I know way
more about this place than you do, okay?
192
00:09:04,560 --> 00:09:07,330
do a lot of things around here you don't
even know about.
193
00:09:07,340 --> 00:09:09,040
All I want is a little respect.
194
00:09:10,440 --> 00:09:11,940
And one of my special cupcakes.
195
00:09:13,400 --> 00:09:14,450
No!
196
00:09:14,540 --> 00:09:16,700
Damn it.
197
00:09:16,701 --> 00:09:22,539
I've got a date tonight, so I'm going to
need you to cover for me.
198
00:09:22,540 --> 00:09:23,920
Here or on your date.
199
00:09:24,580 --> 00:09:27,780
Because I'd have to meet this fella
before I agree to anything.
200
00:09:28,460 --> 00:09:30,870
Where's Bernie? Oh, she left a couple
hours ago.
201
00:09:30,940 --> 00:09:33,350
She can't do that. There are clothes to
be folded.
202
00:09:34,080 --> 00:09:35,130
But you're folding.
203
00:09:35,540 --> 00:09:37,740
She hired me to do her job. What?
204
00:09:38,460 --> 00:09:40,380
Bernie wanted me to mention something.
205
00:09:41,400 --> 00:09:42,800
I missed my court date.
206
00:09:44,240 --> 00:09:45,290
I can't be ready.
207
00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:48,980
Oh, she's paying me $11 an hour.
208
00:09:49,580 --> 00:09:52,110
Do you realize I'm now making more money
than you?
209
00:09:52,640 --> 00:09:53,690
Jealous.
210
00:09:53,691 --> 00:09:57,729
You can tell Bernie that I'm not the
slightest bit jealous of a pathetic
211
00:09:57,730 --> 00:09:58,850
who lives in his van.
212
00:10:00,570 --> 00:10:01,910
I'll be sure to pass it on.
213
00:10:04,030 --> 00:10:05,530
Really earning my money today.
214
00:10:10,150 --> 00:10:11,770
Well, look who's feeling better.
215
00:10:11,771 --> 00:10:15,889
Although you're always left cranky after
a lie down. Uh, Terry, not a little
216
00:10:15,890 --> 00:10:16,940
kid. Juice box?
217
00:10:17,550 --> 00:10:18,600
Great.
218
00:10:20,210 --> 00:10:21,260
You know...
219
00:10:21,890 --> 00:10:25,569
It's not so bad. I mean, you are better
at business than I am. And all I really
220
00:10:25,570 --> 00:10:29,240
care about is the comic book shop, and
I'm still the master of that domain.
221
00:10:30,430 --> 00:10:31,480
Hey.
222
00:10:31,481 --> 00:10:34,369
What the hell happened to Pete's Pick?
223
00:10:34,370 --> 00:10:35,089
Pete's Pick?
224
00:10:35,090 --> 00:10:39,230
Yeah, Pete's Pick. The shelf dedicated
for all my best comics. I took it down.
225
00:10:40,490 --> 00:10:41,540
What?
226
00:10:41,541 --> 00:10:44,119
I didn't think it was a big deal. It was
taking up valuable wall space, and they
227
00:10:44,120 --> 00:10:47,399
never sold. Yeah, of course they never
sold, because Peach Picks aren't for
228
00:10:47,400 --> 00:10:50,859
sale. Terry, Peach Picks are there to
show everyone that I have the best
229
00:10:50,860 --> 00:10:53,999
and that they should be jealous of me.
Well, now they can be jealous of our
230
00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:56,770
amazing travel mugs. And better yet,
these are for sale.
231
00:10:56,820 --> 00:11:00,839
Peach Picks is the lifeblood of this
place, and you're just turning it into a
232
00:11:00,840 --> 00:11:02,100
caffeinated whorehouse.
233
00:11:02,180 --> 00:11:06,090
Pete, I think you're overreacting. Oh,
oh, I'll show you overreacting, okay,
234
00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:07,850
Manager?
235
00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:09,560
From now on, you're on your own.
236
00:11:10,180 --> 00:11:11,260
Because... I'm on strike.
237
00:11:11,580 --> 00:11:12,630
Oh, yeah.
238
00:11:40,819 --> 00:11:42,319
Hey, nice strike there, Peter.
239
00:11:42,320 --> 00:11:45,179
Haven't had this many customers in
weeks. Should have thought of this a
240
00:11:45,180 --> 00:11:45,959
time ago.
241
00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:48,959
Hey, you know what would really teach me
a lesson? Why don't you stand closer to
242
00:11:48,960 --> 00:11:51,559
the road and twirl your sign more? Oh,
I'm twirling it plenty.
243
00:11:51,560 --> 00:11:54,699
Okay, and laugh while you still can
because you won't find anyone who can do
244
00:11:54,700 --> 00:11:56,620
what I can do. What, bankrupt the store?
245
00:11:56,880 --> 00:11:58,680
I am the Scotty of this enterprise.
246
00:11:59,160 --> 00:12:03,340
You'll nag a warp speed without me. All
right. I'm irreplaceable.
247
00:12:05,420 --> 00:12:06,800
Hey, Bernie, you want a job?
248
00:12:08,040 --> 00:12:09,090
Yeah. Sweet.
249
00:12:16,750 --> 00:12:18,070
How's it going, employee?
250
00:12:18,410 --> 00:12:19,460
Pretty good, boss.
251
00:12:19,730 --> 00:12:24,709
Two soy lattes to go. Uh, yeah, we don't
have soy milk. Oh, I know we don't. I
252
00:12:24,710 --> 00:12:27,129
just said that because they're allergic
to dairy. I figure what's the worst that
253
00:12:27,130 --> 00:12:27,849
could happen?
254
00:12:27,850 --> 00:12:28,900
They could die.
255
00:12:29,270 --> 00:12:31,890
Oh. And that's the worst that could
happen to me.
256
00:12:32,561 --> 00:12:37,589
What happened to the rest of Peter's
special cupcakes?
257
00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:38,640
I sold them.
258
00:12:39,450 --> 00:12:40,730
You can't sell these.
259
00:12:41,030 --> 00:12:42,080
They're drugged.
260
00:12:42,490 --> 00:12:43,540
Oh, yeah.
261
00:12:43,810 --> 00:12:44,860
Whoops.
262
00:12:52,449 --> 00:12:53,499
Leap heroic.
263
00:12:54,010 --> 00:12:55,060
Cool. Excuse me.
264
00:12:55,410 --> 00:12:56,830
I'm looking for Dark Badger.
265
00:12:57,550 --> 00:12:58,650
Dark Badger?
266
00:12:59,410 --> 00:13:01,070
That should be under D.
267
00:13:02,810 --> 00:13:04,370
Yeah, I already checked under D.
268
00:13:05,030 --> 00:13:07,130
Right. Then we'll check under B.
269
00:13:07,131 --> 00:13:08,949
Check there, too.
270
00:13:08,950 --> 00:13:10,729
Well, you could have told me that before
I looked.
271
00:13:10,730 --> 00:13:12,410
You waste my time, I waste yours.
272
00:13:18,790 --> 00:13:20,230
Hello? What's wrong, Terry?
273
00:13:20,450 --> 00:13:21,830
You can't find Dark Badger?
274
00:13:22,220 --> 00:13:24,870
Did you check under her head for
nocturnal animals?
275
00:13:25,340 --> 00:13:27,120
You won't find it there, either.
276
00:13:27,880 --> 00:13:30,650
It's only a matter of time before you
beg me to come back.
277
00:13:30,651 --> 00:13:31,919
No, thanks.
278
00:13:31,920 --> 00:13:33,440
I'll do just fine on my own.
279
00:13:37,480 --> 00:13:41,300
What do you want?
280
00:13:44,840 --> 00:13:45,890
Why don't I guess?
281
00:13:46,620 --> 00:13:47,670
Dark badger.
282
00:13:47,820 --> 00:13:49,560
All right, I gotta think like Peter.
283
00:13:50,280 --> 00:13:51,330
Badgers are weasels.
284
00:13:51,630 --> 00:13:53,530
Weasels like fish. Fish live in the sea.
285
00:13:54,010 --> 00:13:55,060
So, under sea?
286
00:13:56,770 --> 00:13:57,820
Ha!
287
00:13:58,070 --> 00:14:00,420
Here it is. Can't believe that actually
worked.
288
00:14:00,690 --> 00:14:01,740
Yes, I can.
289
00:14:03,230 --> 00:14:04,280
Damn it. It's sold out.
290
00:14:04,281 --> 00:14:10,889
Look, if you want to leave your parents'
phone number, we can call you when it
291
00:14:10,890 --> 00:14:11,940
comes in.
292
00:14:15,850 --> 00:14:18,990
Or you can keep staring at me with your
dead shark eyes.
293
00:14:24,910 --> 00:14:28,250
Mr. Old and Creepy, you fold pants like
a girl with no hands.
294
00:14:28,251 --> 00:14:30,909
Inspirationally? Good for her.
295
00:14:30,910 --> 00:14:32,269
Where's the security perv?
296
00:14:32,270 --> 00:14:33,570
Boyd? Oh, he hired me.
297
00:14:34,110 --> 00:14:35,970
So, Bernie hired him and he hired you?
298
00:14:36,230 --> 00:14:37,510
Yeah, yeah.
299
00:14:37,730 --> 00:14:38,810
How long's his shift?
300
00:14:38,890 --> 00:14:41,780
He doesn't have a shift. He's busy being
a full -time loser.
301
00:14:41,790 --> 00:14:44,740
Oh, yeah, a full -time loser is paying
me nine bucks an hour.
302
00:14:44,950 --> 00:14:49,029
What? Yeah, he wanted me to let you know
that I'm still making more money than
303
00:14:49,030 --> 00:14:50,080
you.
304
00:14:50,170 --> 00:14:54,030
Well, I just saw more vaginas than you
have all year.
305
00:15:01,780 --> 00:15:04,180
Hot. Okay, I need some copies of The
Dark Badger.
306
00:15:04,380 --> 00:15:05,430
Now.
307
00:15:05,760 --> 00:15:07,680
I don't know how many. What's the usual?
308
00:15:09,780 --> 00:15:10,860
They're multiplying.
309
00:15:11,080 --> 00:15:12,580
Send me everything you've got.
310
00:15:17,260 --> 00:15:20,020
So, who wants a cookie?
311
00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:23,220
Come on, everyone likes cookies.
312
00:15:25,199 --> 00:15:26,960
Mmm, yummy, yummy.
313
00:15:29,700 --> 00:15:30,920
Hello? Hello, Terry.
314
00:15:30,921 --> 00:15:32,119
It's your brother.
315
00:15:32,120 --> 00:15:33,600
Say hi to the kids for me.
316
00:15:33,820 --> 00:15:35,260
All four of them.
317
00:15:38,741 --> 00:15:41,239
What's the matter, Terry?
318
00:15:41,240 --> 00:15:42,660
Is it getting hot in there?
319
00:15:42,940 --> 00:15:46,720
Perhaps a wizard cast a heat spell to
punish you for your misdeeds.
320
00:15:47,380 --> 00:15:48,430
Stay there.
321
00:15:48,980 --> 00:15:50,500
Misdeeds. Misdeeds.
322
00:15:58,510 --> 00:16:00,800
Psychological warfare? Well, that's my
job.
323
00:16:05,330 --> 00:16:08,430
Tell me you brought me a load of Dark
Badger. Of course.
324
00:16:08,431 --> 00:16:09,489
Oh, thank God.
325
00:16:09,490 --> 00:16:14,530
But if the Dark Badger you wish to see,
first, a riddle you must answer me.
326
00:16:16,930 --> 00:16:18,570
Damn it.
327
00:16:21,290 --> 00:16:24,110
Can anybody help me solve a very nerdy
riddle?
328
00:16:24,810 --> 00:16:28,899
You. You, sir. It seems right up your
alley. Do you know anything about
329
00:16:28,900 --> 00:16:30,840
Stop!
330
00:16:32,500 --> 00:16:33,860
Stop doing that.
331
00:16:35,680 --> 00:16:40,100
Bernie, you want to pour some coffee or
at least stand next to the machine?
332
00:16:40,101 --> 00:16:40,959
I'm on break.
333
00:16:40,960 --> 00:16:44,570
Again? It's way too hot to work. Do you
think you could get me a cold drink?
334
00:16:44,860 --> 00:16:45,910
Break's over.
335
00:16:45,920 --> 00:16:48,640
Terry, come on. I'm working two jobs
right now.
336
00:16:48,940 --> 00:16:51,060
Technically, you're not working any.
337
00:16:51,980 --> 00:16:54,240
Wow. You're a real slave driver.
338
00:16:54,750 --> 00:16:56,130
I don't know how Peter did it.
339
00:16:56,910 --> 00:16:58,530
I have another riddle for you.
340
00:16:59,450 --> 00:17:04,750
Somebody, I shan't say who, has clogged
your toilet with the number two.
341
00:17:05,790 --> 00:17:06,840
Unbelievable.
342
00:17:07,490 --> 00:17:08,540
Perfect.
343
00:17:13,650 --> 00:17:15,030
Hello? Backroom troubles?
344
00:17:15,790 --> 00:17:19,770
Peter, stop doing this. If you're not
going to help me, just leave me alone.
345
00:17:20,089 --> 00:17:22,930
Fine, I'll help you. Have you tried
jiggling the handle?
346
00:17:34,220 --> 00:17:36,020
Nothing is supposed to do that.
347
00:17:37,240 --> 00:17:40,010
You better turn around and you better be
the super nerd.
348
00:17:40,820 --> 00:17:42,320
Oh, hilarious.
349
00:17:42,740 --> 00:17:45,440
And let me guess, you probably make $8
.50 an hour?
350
00:17:46,100 --> 00:17:49,819
Yes. Don't you guys get it? I don't care
that you make more money than me. As
351
00:17:49,820 --> 00:17:51,810
long as I get to insult you all day, I
win.
352
00:17:52,420 --> 00:17:54,580
Okay. Where are we going to start with
you?
353
00:17:54,980 --> 00:17:57,090
You have worse hair than a prison
lesbian.
354
00:17:57,540 --> 00:17:59,020
Okay. I'm insulting your hair.
355
00:17:59,740 --> 00:18:00,790
No one cares.
356
00:18:00,791 --> 00:18:06,259
You don't understand my awesome insults?
How am I supposed to hurt your
357
00:18:06,260 --> 00:18:07,310
feelings?
358
00:18:09,440 --> 00:18:15,280
I've tried everything.
359
00:18:15,540 --> 00:18:19,039
I can't figure out stupid dark badger
riddles. Don't let the answer is
360
00:18:19,040 --> 00:18:20,760
dark badger. Correct, sir.
361
00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:22,080
What? Really?
362
00:18:23,280 --> 00:18:29,059
Excellent work, young one. I bestow upon
thee the laurel of
363
00:18:29,060 --> 00:18:30,340
Asmaldian.
364
00:18:32,560 --> 00:18:36,300
Did I really do it for the laurels?
These comics are all the reward I need.
365
00:18:36,500 --> 00:18:38,980
And now, Riddle the Second.
366
00:18:39,740 --> 00:18:44,400
Spider -Man is on a train leaving New
York City at 55 miles per hour. No!
367
00:18:47,300 --> 00:18:48,350
Hello!
368
00:18:48,351 --> 00:18:50,199
What in the world's wrong, Terry?
369
00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:51,720
I can't take it anymore, Peter.
370
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:53,050
I need you here.
371
00:18:53,240 --> 00:18:54,290
Please come back.
372
00:18:54,500 --> 00:19:00,739
What? You couldn't make it past Riddle
the Second? I can't do... I can't do
373
00:19:00,740 --> 00:19:01,790
this.
374
00:19:01,830 --> 00:19:05,410
I can't run the store without you. Ha! I
knew it. So you'll come back?
375
00:19:05,690 --> 00:19:09,130
Uh, not so fast. There is the matter of
the little wage discrepancy.
376
00:19:09,410 --> 00:19:10,850
Fine, you get a 25 cent raise.
377
00:19:10,851 --> 00:19:11,789
We're even.
378
00:19:11,790 --> 00:19:15,149
As if I'm going to take the first offer.
All right, how about a 10 cent raise?
379
00:19:15,150 --> 00:19:16,200
Done.
380
00:19:16,670 --> 00:19:17,720
No deal.
381
00:19:17,970 --> 00:19:19,310
Fine, 25 cents it is.
382
00:19:19,311 --> 00:19:22,489
Perfect. Now I'm going to head back
inside.
383
00:19:22,490 --> 00:19:24,809
You can deal with the Riddler here. See
you next year.
384
00:19:24,810 --> 00:19:25,860
Oh, I won't be long.
385
00:19:25,890 --> 00:19:28,970
I believe I have all the answers to his
riddles right here.
386
00:19:30,490 --> 00:19:31,540
Five bucks?
387
00:19:31,680 --> 00:19:32,730
You wanted a bride?
388
00:19:32,900 --> 00:19:35,940
Yeah. It fits her, Terry. How things
work in the real world.
389
00:19:37,240 --> 00:19:38,290
I'm keeping that.
390
00:19:41,980 --> 00:19:48,620
What are you doing? Thank God it's you.
391
00:19:48,780 --> 00:19:51,500
I mean, I thought it smelled old in
here.
392
00:19:52,280 --> 00:19:54,640
I finally realized just how easy this
job is.
393
00:19:55,200 --> 00:19:57,180
Also, I want my full paycheck.
394
00:19:57,740 --> 00:19:59,700
Also, Terry fired me.
395
00:19:59,701 --> 00:20:01,659
You think I'll just take you back?
396
00:20:01,660 --> 00:20:04,730
Think you can find a better employee
who's an easier target?
397
00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:06,250
Welcome back.
398
00:20:06,600 --> 00:20:09,070
You know why dogs like to lick your
face, Bernie?
399
00:20:09,280 --> 00:20:11,520
Why? Because it looks like they're
balls.
400
00:20:12,520 --> 00:20:13,570
Good to have you back.
401
00:20:15,440 --> 00:20:16,490
Hold this.
402
00:20:21,160 --> 00:20:22,210
There you go.
403
00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:26,900
And that is that. Why are they still
here? They have the comics.
404
00:20:26,901 --> 00:20:28,269
They're gonna...
405
00:20:28,270 --> 00:20:29,830
Set me on fire with their minds?
406
00:20:30,030 --> 00:20:34,550
No. When they form a cluster, it takes
more than mere comics to disperse them.
407
00:20:35,990 --> 00:20:37,040
There's a secret.
408
00:20:37,770 --> 00:20:41,110
Known to only those who sit perched
behind the comic book counter.
409
00:20:41,670 --> 00:20:44,430
It's a magical, mystical secret.
410
00:20:45,330 --> 00:20:47,740
Get out of here, or I'll hit you with
this broom!
411
00:20:48,070 --> 00:20:50,270
A broom.
412
00:20:52,010 --> 00:20:56,210
Well, Peter, you were right. I can't run
the store without you.
413
00:20:56,830 --> 00:20:58,330
From now on, we make the same.
414
00:20:58,530 --> 00:21:00,130
Okay? And?
415
00:21:00,510 --> 00:21:03,330
And I will put Pete's picks back up.
416
00:21:04,750 --> 00:21:05,800
And?
417
00:21:06,610 --> 00:21:12,890
And... I bestow upon thee the laurel of
Esmaldian.
418
00:21:13,430 --> 00:21:15,770
And peace returns to the kingdom.
419
00:21:16,190 --> 00:21:21,990
And I shall lead unto a new age of
prosperity.
420
00:21:22,490 --> 00:21:23,950
A golden age.
421
00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:28,900
Where people will look at me as their
leader and say, yay, he is glorious.
422
00:21:29,091 --> 00:21:31,189
Terry?
423
00:21:31,190 --> 00:21:35,740
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