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1
00:00:12,040 --> 00:00:13,360
It's the man with the sword.
2
00:00:13,361 --> 00:00:14,839
Hey, Pete.
3
00:00:14,840 --> 00:00:15,639
Want to talk?
4
00:00:15,640 --> 00:00:16,720
I know I'm kind of busy.
5
00:00:17,360 --> 00:00:18,420
I can see that.
6
00:00:19,120 --> 00:00:23,339
Look, I'm worried about you. You know,
you spend all your time in the shop. I
7
00:00:23,340 --> 00:00:24,600
think you might be in a rut.
8
00:00:24,820 --> 00:00:29,699
Unlikely. Hey, I know it can be hard to
meet people, but I think you're a great
9
00:00:29,700 --> 00:00:32,579
guy. You just need a little help showing
the world, which is where I come in.
10
00:00:32,580 --> 00:00:35,650
Today is your lucky day. Oh, my God. I
got accepted to space camp.
11
00:00:35,651 --> 00:00:39,359
No, for the thousandth time, you're not
going to space camp. That's for little
12
00:00:39,360 --> 00:00:41,530
kids. The luckiest little kids in the
world.
13
00:00:41,930 --> 00:00:43,430
I am going to help you get a date.
14
00:00:44,070 --> 00:00:45,570
No, thanks. I already got a date.
15
00:00:45,650 --> 00:00:46,700
Tomorrow night.
16
00:00:47,970 --> 00:00:49,020
Sure you do.
17
00:00:49,250 --> 00:00:52,270
That's why I'm working out. Women love a
strong sword arm.
18
00:00:53,210 --> 00:00:54,890
Wow. You're serious.
19
00:00:56,070 --> 00:00:57,120
That's great.
20
00:00:57,250 --> 00:00:59,480
But, and honestly, I mean no offense by
this.
21
00:00:59,770 --> 00:01:00,850
How is that possible?
22
00:01:01,030 --> 00:01:04,820
She enjoys my Star Wars fan fiction. We
meet up when she's in town on business.
23
00:01:04,970 --> 00:01:07,440
Don't worry, though. There won't be much
talking.
24
00:01:08,090 --> 00:01:09,140
It's a booty call?
25
00:01:09,290 --> 00:01:10,910
A gentleman never tells.
26
00:01:11,370 --> 00:01:13,230
Let's just say there will be interest.
27
00:01:13,761 --> 00:01:15,829
I'm impressed.
28
00:01:15,830 --> 00:01:19,550
And I don't see me, no offense, but
when's the last time you had a date?
29
00:01:19,790 --> 00:01:25,530
Oh, I just, I had... Now, if you will
excuse me, I must go oil my sword.
30
00:01:43,880 --> 00:01:44,930
Have a date tonight.
31
00:01:44,931 --> 00:01:45,779
That's great.
32
00:01:45,780 --> 00:01:48,760
It is. It really is. But here's the
confusing part.
33
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I don't.
34
00:01:50,300 --> 00:01:51,920
So? I haven't had a date in months.
35
00:01:51,921 --> 00:01:53,699
What about that guy you were seeing?
36
00:01:53,700 --> 00:01:56,460
Croft? I just made him up to make myself
feel less sad.
37
00:01:57,620 --> 00:01:59,940
Oh, Croft. You shouldn't have.
38
00:02:00,380 --> 00:02:01,460
Get out of your league.
39
00:02:03,360 --> 00:02:05,280
Turned out to have the opposite effect.
40
00:02:05,580 --> 00:02:08,240
How can Peter get more action than me?
41
00:02:08,820 --> 00:02:10,120
Could I be losing my mojo?
42
00:02:13,700 --> 00:02:15,500
Bernie? I wasn't lost in your eyes.
43
00:02:15,780 --> 00:02:17,580
I don't know. Maybe I'm overreacting.
44
00:02:18,800 --> 00:02:20,860
If anything, you're underreacting.
45
00:02:21,640 --> 00:02:22,920
What? Really?
46
00:02:23,620 --> 00:02:24,670
Think about it.
47
00:02:24,960 --> 00:02:27,720
Last year, you were this big -time
Harvard success.
48
00:02:28,380 --> 00:02:29,460
Now you're stuck here.
49
00:02:29,461 --> 00:02:31,799
The only thing you have left is your
mojo.
50
00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:34,779
I don't know about the only thing. The
only thing. Before you know it, you're
51
00:02:34,780 --> 00:02:36,979
going to be watching sea quest marathons
with your brother.
52
00:02:36,980 --> 00:02:37,979
We did that yesterday.
53
00:02:37,980 --> 00:02:40,270
Oh, my God. I totally didn't know that
already.
54
00:02:40,300 --> 00:02:41,440
You need a woman, Terry.
55
00:02:41,640 --> 00:02:42,690
Any woman.
56
00:02:43,370 --> 00:02:45,970
Maybe even a woman who's right under
your nose.
57
00:02:46,450 --> 00:02:47,500
You're right.
58
00:02:47,870 --> 00:02:49,130
How can I be so blind?
59
00:02:50,070 --> 00:02:52,900
Raina, I can't believe I haven't asked
you out until now.
60
00:02:52,910 --> 00:02:56,989
No, you ask me out every day, several
times a day. In fact, this is the second
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00:02:56,990 --> 00:02:59,029
time in this conversation you've asked
me out.
62
00:02:59,030 --> 00:03:00,080
Right. Sorry.
63
00:03:00,650 --> 00:03:03,960
There's your coffee, cream, no sugar,
because you're hot enough.
64
00:03:03,961 --> 00:03:07,569
That doesn't even make sense. Doesn't,
does it? Something about you throws me
65
00:03:07,570 --> 00:03:08,429
off my game.
66
00:03:08,430 --> 00:03:09,480
Is it her vagina?
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00:03:10,250 --> 00:03:11,300
I'll tell you what.
68
00:03:11,301 --> 00:03:14,459
Let me make it up to you by taking you
and your vagina out for a nice steak
69
00:03:14,460 --> 00:03:16,800
dinner. Do you regret saying that?
Instantly.
70
00:03:17,320 --> 00:03:20,150
Speaking of changing the subject, a nice
rabbit's foot.
71
00:03:20,151 --> 00:03:21,099
Oh, thanks.
72
00:03:21,100 --> 00:03:24,539
It's for luck. When I rub it like this,
it makes my wishes come true. Oh, yeah?
73
00:03:24,540 --> 00:03:27,070
Oh, look, it's working. This
conversation's over.
74
00:03:29,020 --> 00:03:32,150
Well, you handled that with all the
grace of a dickless turtle.
75
00:03:32,151 --> 00:03:33,499
What is that supposed to mean?
76
00:03:33,500 --> 00:03:36,679
I think he's implying that turtles with
no penises would be clumsy. It's a
77
00:03:36,680 --> 00:03:37,759
center of gravity thing.
78
00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:41,059
No, it's a terrible with women thing.
You're having worse luck with women than
79
00:03:41,060 --> 00:03:42,110
am with online poker.
80
00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:44,000
You can't call that.
81
00:03:44,001 --> 00:03:45,679
Why don't you just stop playing?
82
00:03:45,680 --> 00:03:47,899
Why don't you get chemically sterilized?
Burn.
83
00:03:47,900 --> 00:03:51,450
I mean you too. For your information, I
have a booty call tomorrow night.
84
00:03:51,580 --> 00:03:54,480
Really? You're not even the coolest guy
in your family.
85
00:03:54,481 --> 00:03:55,539
Double burn.
86
00:03:55,540 --> 00:03:56,479
He meant you too.
87
00:03:56,480 --> 00:03:58,060
No, that one was just for you.
88
00:03:58,520 --> 00:03:59,570
Oh, my contact.
89
00:04:00,670 --> 00:04:03,260
Seriously, think about this
sterilization thing.
90
00:04:05,030 --> 00:04:06,630
Oh, my God.
91
00:04:07,190 --> 00:04:09,050
Peter, I'm blind. I can't see anything.
92
00:04:10,750 --> 00:04:11,800
Can you see this?
93
00:04:12,250 --> 00:04:13,300
No.
94
00:04:14,430 --> 00:04:15,480
All right.
95
00:04:15,770 --> 00:04:17,310
Okay, get it all out.
96
00:04:17,670 --> 00:04:18,750
Whenever you're done.
97
00:04:20,209 --> 00:04:24,229
Ha -ha, very funny. I'm blind as a bat
without my contacts, and I haven't
98
00:04:24,230 --> 00:04:28,090
new glasses since high school, so... So
it's getting worse.
99
00:04:29,320 --> 00:04:30,460
What's getting worse?
100
00:04:30,700 --> 00:04:32,920
First you strike out, now the glasses.
101
00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:34,840
You remind me of someone.
102
00:04:35,500 --> 00:04:36,550
Oh, I remember.
103
00:04:36,900 --> 00:04:38,600
You. Ten years ago.
104
00:04:39,260 --> 00:04:40,310
But I hate that guy.
105
00:04:40,560 --> 00:04:41,960
Yeah, we all hate that guy.
106
00:04:41,961 --> 00:04:43,939
Remember what we called you in high
school?
107
00:04:43,940 --> 00:04:45,080
Fatty, fatty, no dick?
108
00:04:45,420 --> 00:04:49,499
People called me that? Who knows? The
point is, Fatty, your mojo is gone. And
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00:04:49,500 --> 00:04:50,939
there's only one way to get it back.
110
00:04:50,940 --> 00:04:51,859
I'll do anything.
111
00:04:51,860 --> 00:04:52,910
Or anyone.
112
00:04:52,980 --> 00:04:54,420
Well, it can't just be anyone.
113
00:04:54,421 --> 00:04:57,159
It's got to be someone you've known for
years.
114
00:04:57,160 --> 00:04:58,210
Someone you trust.
115
00:04:58,840 --> 00:05:01,580
Watch out for some random skank out in
the parking lot.
116
00:05:03,540 --> 00:05:05,160
Parking lot skanks? Of course.
117
00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:07,730
Oh, shit.
118
00:05:09,360 --> 00:05:12,420
Yeah, I'm almost there. I just hit a bit
of traffic.
119
00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:14,660
Yes, I have the file right here.
120
00:05:16,080 --> 00:05:17,130
Son of a bitch.
121
00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:20,780
No, sir, not you. Oh, come on.
122
00:05:21,240 --> 00:05:22,290
Need a hammer?
123
00:05:23,420 --> 00:05:24,860
I have no other choice.
124
00:05:27,920 --> 00:05:29,300
Why the heck did you do that?
125
00:05:29,980 --> 00:05:31,030
To get into my car.
126
00:05:31,240 --> 00:05:32,680
But your keys are right there.
127
00:05:34,240 --> 00:05:35,980
What did you give me the hammer for?
128
00:05:36,240 --> 00:05:39,910
I was selling the hammer. Not that
anyone wants it now that it's scratched.
129
00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:46,930
Do you know why I'm having such rotten
luck? My lucky rabbit's foot is gone.
130
00:05:46,931 --> 00:05:47,959
You're superstitious?
131
00:05:47,960 --> 00:05:49,010
No, of course not.
132
00:05:49,380 --> 00:05:50,500
So this thing is luck?
133
00:05:52,520 --> 00:05:54,340
I need my rabbit's foot.
134
00:05:54,620 --> 00:05:55,670
I accept your offer.
135
00:05:55,960 --> 00:05:59,839
I shall find you a rabbit's foot or die
trying. No, no, boy, no, you don't have
136
00:05:59,840 --> 00:06:01,160
to... And he's gone.
137
00:06:02,120 --> 00:06:03,220
So, you're into golf.
138
00:06:03,780 --> 00:06:04,830
Me too.
139
00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:08,090
There's something so sexy about a woman
who knows how to drive.
140
00:06:10,220 --> 00:06:11,780
I'm also having a new promotion.
141
00:06:11,920 --> 00:06:14,630
You can buy a putter or get a free drink
with me. Why not?
142
00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:16,380
Here, let me give you my card.
143
00:06:17,100 --> 00:06:18,300
Sorry about the glasses.
144
00:06:23,100 --> 00:06:25,020
This is just your medical information.
145
00:06:25,560 --> 00:06:26,610
Oh!
146
00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:28,170
Wow!
147
00:06:28,460 --> 00:06:31,399
I mean...
148
00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:37,360
It's so different!
149
00:06:38,400 --> 00:06:42,739
Why don't we just go someplace now?
Someplace with dim lighting and very
150
00:06:42,740 --> 00:06:44,600
food. Not too spicy.
151
00:06:45,040 --> 00:06:47,200
Well, I just have to lock up the shop.
152
00:06:47,600 --> 00:06:49,700
You work at that comic book store?
153
00:06:49,701 --> 00:06:50,879
Mm -hmm.
154
00:06:50,880 --> 00:06:52,140
Oh, I just remembered.
155
00:06:52,420 --> 00:06:54,080
I forgot to take my nap.
156
00:06:56,010 --> 00:06:58,070
Here, take some hard candies.
157
00:07:00,510 --> 00:07:02,870
Hey, fatty, fatty, no dick. Think fast.
158
00:07:06,090 --> 00:07:08,770
Sorry, dude. I was aiming for your
crotch.
159
00:07:09,450 --> 00:07:10,890
You know how funny that can be.
160
00:07:11,550 --> 00:07:12,600
Ten bucks.
161
00:07:12,650 --> 00:07:14,110
If this is my lucky day.
162
00:07:17,530 --> 00:07:20,910
Harry, I've been looking everywhere for
you.
163
00:07:20,911 --> 00:07:22,069
You have?
164
00:07:22,070 --> 00:07:23,910
Why? I want you.
165
00:07:25,789 --> 00:07:26,839
Really? Yeah.
166
00:07:27,070 --> 00:07:28,390
I've lowered my standards.
167
00:07:29,730 --> 00:07:30,780
Me too.
168
00:07:31,150 --> 00:07:33,310
I love how you smell like an old guy.
169
00:07:33,970 --> 00:07:35,470
Maybe we could all do it.
170
00:07:35,750 --> 00:07:36,800
Wow.
171
00:07:37,350 --> 00:07:38,400
Hi, Perry.
172
00:07:39,290 --> 00:07:40,340
We're new friends.
173
00:07:40,750 --> 00:07:41,800
Not now, Bernie.
174
00:07:42,130 --> 00:07:44,010
Sorry about that. Where were we?
175
00:07:44,450 --> 00:07:45,500
Never mind.
176
00:07:45,750 --> 00:07:46,870
We want him now.
177
00:07:47,690 --> 00:07:49,410
He's a real ladies' man.
178
00:07:49,730 --> 00:07:53,350
I got a mind for business and a body for
thin.
179
00:07:57,349 --> 00:08:00,070
What? Who's slippery like a dirty little
monkey?
180
00:08:01,370 --> 00:08:03,050
Great. It's a dream.
181
00:08:03,790 --> 00:08:04,840
No!
182
00:08:06,830 --> 00:08:07,880
Are you okay?
183
00:08:08,930 --> 00:08:10,050
Is that baby oil?
184
00:08:10,370 --> 00:08:12,370
Yeah, of course. I have a date.
185
00:08:12,650 --> 00:08:14,390
The chest isn't going to oil itself.
186
00:08:16,170 --> 00:08:20,450
Bernie, I need a jacket. No problem.
187
00:08:20,451 --> 00:08:23,529
Preferably not something a slutty 19
-year -old girl would wear.
188
00:08:23,530 --> 00:08:26,530
Problem. But I can sell you some lovely
jeggings.
189
00:08:26,531 --> 00:08:30,409
Eh, never mind. Can you keep your eyes
peeled for a rabbit's foot, though?
190
00:08:30,410 --> 00:08:31,910
Oh, like the one Ford's guy has.
191
00:08:32,510 --> 00:08:33,770
Who, Dan?
192
00:08:43,530 --> 00:08:45,390
Oh, thank you. Contact.
193
00:08:45,441 --> 00:08:47,409
Hey, Terry.
194
00:08:47,410 --> 00:08:49,270
Notice anything different about me?
195
00:08:49,521 --> 00:08:51,309
Your hair?
196
00:08:51,310 --> 00:08:52,510
No, it's my new lip gloss.
197
00:08:52,770 --> 00:08:56,020
It's made from the venom of a blowfish.
It's called Blow Yourself.
198
00:08:56,230 --> 00:09:00,109
Okay. They say the constant stinging
leads to permanent nerve damage, but I
199
00:09:00,110 --> 00:09:01,850
think it's worth it for fuller lips.
200
00:09:02,010 --> 00:09:03,830
So, I thought about what you said.
201
00:09:04,130 --> 00:09:05,180
I knew you would.
202
00:09:05,930 --> 00:09:07,130
Time for the last resort.
203
00:09:07,390 --> 00:09:09,500
Breaking case of emergency. The
internet.
204
00:09:09,530 --> 00:09:12,870
I put up a profile on unexpected
connections.
205
00:09:13,890 --> 00:09:15,550
But, but, emergency.
206
00:09:15,551 --> 00:09:19,209
If you hadn't panicked me, I'd probably
have wasted time hitting on every girl
207
00:09:19,210 --> 00:09:20,089
in this mall.
208
00:09:20,090 --> 00:09:21,140
Every one?
209
00:09:21,150 --> 00:09:23,730
Every single one, but not anymore.
210
00:09:29,230 --> 00:09:31,520
Hey, Terry, still having a bit of a dry
spell?
211
00:09:31,890 --> 00:09:34,990
You want some tips from the sexual
ninja?
212
00:09:35,810 --> 00:09:39,989
Top of your going with? Tip one,
compliment women on the largeness of
213
00:09:39,990 --> 00:09:42,530
necks. They love it. That is not true.
214
00:09:42,750 --> 00:09:44,510
Tip two, foot massages.
215
00:09:45,270 --> 00:09:47,190
Women love to give foot massages.
216
00:09:47,191 --> 00:09:49,639
I feel like you're just making these up.
Tip three.
217
00:09:49,640 --> 00:09:52,080
Come up with a great nickname and theme
song.
218
00:09:52,700 --> 00:09:59,619
Sexual ninja, able to have sex without
crying most of the time, like
219
00:09:59,620 --> 00:10:00,670
a ninja would.
220
00:10:01,240 --> 00:10:04,850
Yeah, this woman is real, right? Not
made out of potatoes or something?
221
00:10:04,940 --> 00:10:05,990
Oh, she's real.
222
00:10:06,220 --> 00:10:07,900
She is freaky.
223
00:10:08,500 --> 00:10:12,819
All right, she'd kill me if I told you
this, but she likes to dress up as Yoda
224
00:10:12,820 --> 00:10:14,580
and show me the ways of the force.
225
00:10:14,900 --> 00:10:18,420
Yeah. Do me or do me not, there is no
cry.
226
00:10:19,820 --> 00:10:22,500
It's pretty hot and disturbing. That is
disturbing.
227
00:10:26,900 --> 00:10:31,440
Well, well, well. Look who's got a date.
Thank you, Internet. And in your face,
228
00:10:31,580 --> 00:10:36,579
Peter. And for the record, you are not a
sexual ninja. Now, I'm going to go on a
229
00:10:36,580 --> 00:10:40,320
normal date with a normal girl. You can
stay here and bang Yoda.
230
00:10:40,760 --> 00:10:41,810
Told him you did.
231
00:10:43,320 --> 00:10:44,860
Call me again and you won't.
232
00:10:47,160 --> 00:10:48,360
That was her, wasn't it?
233
00:11:18,831 --> 00:11:21,189
The internet's amazing.
234
00:11:21,190 --> 00:11:22,930
I didn't even have to post a picture.
235
00:11:23,230 --> 00:11:25,840
So... She doesn't know what you look
like.
236
00:11:27,900 --> 00:11:29,280
You should give her to Peter.
237
00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:32,180
She's not a hockey card. I can't just
trade her.
238
00:11:32,460 --> 00:11:33,510
I'll take her.
239
00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:35,480
But... No.
240
00:11:35,880 --> 00:11:36,930
I need this.
241
00:11:37,860 --> 00:11:38,910
Really badly.
242
00:11:39,060 --> 00:11:40,920
Harry, there are other girls.
243
00:11:41,360 --> 00:11:42,760
Girls who want you.
244
00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:45,060
No one wants Peter. Thank you.
245
00:11:45,360 --> 00:11:46,620
Finally, a little backup.
246
00:11:46,621 --> 00:11:48,059
Then it's settled.
247
00:11:48,060 --> 00:11:51,559
Peter gets your date, and we get to
discuss your other options over dinner
248
00:11:51,560 --> 00:11:52,610
wine. Sorry, Peter.
249
00:11:53,320 --> 00:11:54,370
Get your own girl.
250
00:11:54,720 --> 00:11:55,770
This one's mine.
251
00:11:56,820 --> 00:11:58,600
Terry, the choice is simple.
252
00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:02,060
Replace my girl or suffer the
supernarble.
253
00:12:02,520 --> 00:12:04,040
What? No.
254
00:12:04,500 --> 00:12:06,720
No way. You can't. It's what honor
demands.
255
00:12:07,571 --> 00:12:09,579
Damn it!
256
00:12:09,580 --> 00:12:10,630
You're right.
257
00:12:12,120 --> 00:12:13,760
Fine. You can go out with her.
258
00:12:14,160 --> 00:12:20,040
Excellent. Oh, and Terry, the date must
go perfectly or supernarble.
259
00:12:22,890 --> 00:12:24,450
What the hell is a super nurple?
260
00:12:24,451 --> 00:12:27,589
When we were kids, you know how you come
up with punishments to do to each
261
00:12:27,590 --> 00:12:29,070
other? Like nunchuck balls.
262
00:12:31,810 --> 00:12:33,450
Hello, Kate Byrne.
263
00:12:37,010 --> 00:12:43,729
Well, super nurple was the worst
264
00:12:43,730 --> 00:12:46,990
punishment we ever dreamt up. We never
even tried it.
265
00:12:47,310 --> 00:12:48,360
It was too horrible.
266
00:12:52,750 --> 00:12:53,800
Did you stop that?
267
00:12:54,270 --> 00:12:55,890
Sorry, looking for a rabbit foot.
268
00:12:55,990 --> 00:12:57,040
Get!
269
00:12:57,170 --> 00:12:58,430
Read them and suck it.
270
00:12:59,310 --> 00:13:03,270
Welcome to Sportapalooza. They got all
the balls you can handle.
271
00:13:03,630 --> 00:13:05,490
I've come for what's rightfully mine.
272
00:13:05,730 --> 00:13:07,030
I knew this day would come.
273
00:13:07,031 --> 00:13:11,149
Tired of hanging out with Tweedledee and
Tweedledodick. Decided you're ready for
274
00:13:11,150 --> 00:13:12,200
a real man.
275
00:13:12,230 --> 00:13:13,670
All right, I'm in.
276
00:13:13,870 --> 00:13:14,920
Gross, I'm out.
277
00:13:14,921 --> 00:13:18,709
You sure? I know a bowling alley nearby
that has cheap wings, light beer, and a
278
00:13:18,710 --> 00:13:20,630
jukebox that only plays country music.
279
00:13:20,631 --> 00:13:21,609
That sounds awful.
280
00:13:21,610 --> 00:13:22,639
Oh, you know awfuls?
281
00:13:22,640 --> 00:13:23,720
Yeah, it's a great bar.
282
00:13:23,820 --> 00:13:25,870
You stole my rabbit's foot. I want it
back.
283
00:13:25,980 --> 00:13:29,140
Wow. Put a woman in a pantsuit. She
thinks she's a lawyer.
284
00:13:29,141 --> 00:13:33,419
It's my lucky rabbit's foot. No, that's
clearly mine. And you have no idea how
285
00:13:33,420 --> 00:13:36,699
much I need it. No, I need it. I'm six
players away from winning a poker
286
00:13:36,700 --> 00:13:39,579
tournament that I've been playing for
the last seven hours.
287
00:13:39,580 --> 00:13:42,499
Fine. Why don't I just give you the
money you would have won at poker?
288
00:13:42,500 --> 00:13:43,760
What is it, like 20 bucks?
289
00:13:43,860 --> 00:13:44,980
Winner gets $10 ,000.
290
00:13:45,680 --> 00:13:46,730
Fine. 30.
291
00:13:47,100 --> 00:13:48,150
Take it or leave it.
292
00:13:50,920 --> 00:13:53,500
Wow. A romantic afternoon date.
293
00:13:53,780 --> 00:13:55,400
Like high tea. Don't say that.
294
00:13:55,840 --> 00:13:58,850
Hey, what shirt do you think is going to
be better for a date?
295
00:13:58,851 --> 00:13:59,999
Definitely go with neither.
296
00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:01,659
Now, here's how it's going to work.
297
00:14:01,660 --> 00:14:04,010
You're going to stay in here with this
headset.
298
00:14:04,480 --> 00:14:07,280
Bernie and I will be out there on this
phone.
299
00:14:07,780 --> 00:14:11,459
You do what I tell you to do. You say
what I tell you to say. It'll be just
300
00:14:11,460 --> 00:14:14,079
Cyrano de Bergerac. Wait, no, no. I
don't think that worked out for my
301
00:14:14,080 --> 00:14:15,019
in the book.
302
00:14:15,020 --> 00:14:17,240
Or the movie. Or any subsequent remake.
303
00:14:17,520 --> 00:14:19,570
Which is exactly why it's due to work
now.
304
00:14:21,060 --> 00:14:24,959
This is never going to work. It's got
just as good a chance as any plan where
305
00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:26,919
one brother coaches another brother
through a headset.
306
00:14:26,920 --> 00:14:28,060
My mojo is gone.
307
00:14:28,580 --> 00:14:31,710
I can't even get a girl for me. How am I
going to get a girl for him?
308
00:14:32,220 --> 00:14:35,780
It'll be the blind leading the slightly
less handsome blind.
309
00:14:36,100 --> 00:14:37,600
You know I can hear you, right?
310
00:14:37,820 --> 00:14:39,100
Wait. She's here.
311
00:14:40,980 --> 00:14:45,440
Oh, this is so unfair. Look at her.
She's hot. That's my type.
312
00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:47,240
What? What do I say?
313
00:14:47,740 --> 00:14:48,790
What do I say?
314
00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:51,960
I don't know. Okay, breathe.
315
00:14:52,280 --> 00:14:53,330
Breathe.
316
00:14:53,331 --> 00:14:55,799
Okay, what does she look like? Does she
have a large neck?
317
00:14:55,800 --> 00:14:57,540
I've got good lines for large necks.
318
00:14:57,560 --> 00:14:58,610
Are you okay?
319
00:14:59,380 --> 00:15:02,870
It's getting worse. Now I can't even
talk to a girl. What am I going to do?
320
00:15:02,871 --> 00:15:03,779
My, my, my.
321
00:15:03,780 --> 00:15:06,840
You have very sensual elbow skin.
322
00:15:08,480 --> 00:15:09,720
Peter, don't worry.
323
00:15:10,140 --> 00:15:13,220
I think I know exactly what a woman
wants to hear.
324
00:15:14,300 --> 00:15:15,350
Hi.
325
00:15:15,380 --> 00:15:17,020
Hi. So good to meet you.
326
00:15:19,040 --> 00:15:20,090
And you're so normal.
327
00:15:20,500 --> 00:15:23,270
I was worried that anybody I met online
would be a freak.
328
00:15:23,540 --> 00:15:24,800
Yes, I am normal.
329
00:15:24,801 --> 00:15:26,219
Super normal.
330
00:15:26,220 --> 00:15:29,260
I should be on the FBI's most normal
list.
331
00:15:29,600 --> 00:15:30,820
I don't have an axe.
332
00:15:30,821 --> 00:15:32,059
Bernie, what?
333
00:15:32,060 --> 00:15:36,660
Sorry. I mean, why don't you sit back
and relax?
334
00:15:38,260 --> 00:15:42,819
Perhaps you could show me some photos of
your cats. I hope you have more than
335
00:15:42,820 --> 00:15:43,870
one.
336
00:15:46,680 --> 00:15:47,730
Kidding.
337
00:15:48,270 --> 00:15:49,320
Clearly kidding.
338
00:15:50,250 --> 00:15:53,330
Ignore Bernie. Repeat everything I say
and you'll be fine.
339
00:15:54,090 --> 00:15:55,530
Look, I got you flowers.
340
00:15:56,610 --> 00:15:58,730
They pale in comparison to you.
341
00:15:59,330 --> 00:16:00,510
Oh, thank you.
342
00:16:00,790 --> 00:16:01,870
Some champagne?
343
00:16:02,610 --> 00:16:03,660
Oh.
344
00:16:04,570 --> 00:16:08,530
Thank you.
345
00:16:10,330 --> 00:16:11,870
The bubbles tickle my nose.
346
00:16:12,930 --> 00:16:16,060
Great ad -lib, Peter. Keep it up and
she'll be putty in your hand.
347
00:16:16,510 --> 00:16:17,560
Excuse me.
348
00:16:17,561 --> 00:16:21,149
Wait, Peter, you're not literally
repeating every word I'm saying, are
349
00:16:21,150 --> 00:16:22,830
couldn't possibly be that stupid.
350
00:16:23,190 --> 00:16:25,350
Oh, you're funny.
351
00:16:25,670 --> 00:16:28,450
Phew, good save, Peter. Oh, my God!
352
00:16:32,510 --> 00:16:34,350
Hey, burning hair? Let me check.
353
00:16:34,690 --> 00:16:35,740
Free hot dog!
354
00:16:37,570 --> 00:16:38,620
Yeah, not here.
355
00:16:39,030 --> 00:16:40,080
Yeah, thanks.
356
00:16:40,270 --> 00:16:41,950
So did you get your rabbit's foot?
357
00:16:42,490 --> 00:16:44,350
No, Dan said it was his.
358
00:16:44,351 --> 00:16:45,799
You're just gonna give up.
359
00:16:45,800 --> 00:16:46,850
Well, what can I do?
360
00:16:46,851 --> 00:16:50,079
Oh, I get it. You're just one of those
people who pretends to be successful and
361
00:16:50,080 --> 00:16:51,700
confident by wearing a pantsuit.
362
00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:53,760
Why is everyone picking on the pantsuit?
363
00:16:54,140 --> 00:16:57,750
I just thought you were the kind of
woman who would stand up to a jerk like
364
00:17:01,940 --> 00:17:04,800
And that is how I saved that busload of
orphans.
365
00:17:05,180 --> 00:17:08,490
Wow. Yes, if it weren't for me, they
would have seen Transformers 2.
366
00:17:08,880 --> 00:17:10,060
But I stopped them.
367
00:17:10,880 --> 00:17:12,680
Wow, you know, I'm really having fun.
368
00:17:12,940 --> 00:17:16,419
I mean, I have to admit, you're not
really my type. I normally go for a
369
00:17:16,420 --> 00:17:17,920
taller, hipper version of you.
370
00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:20,400
I cannot resist a man like that.
371
00:17:20,911 --> 00:17:22,979
Someone's on a roll.
372
00:17:22,980 --> 00:17:24,140
Yeah, no thanks to you.
373
00:17:24,819 --> 00:17:26,019
FBI's most normal list?
374
00:17:26,020 --> 00:17:27,779
Did you really think that would work?
375
00:17:27,780 --> 00:17:30,370
No, but I thought it might force you
back in the game.
376
00:17:31,680 --> 00:17:34,040
Really? I couldn't stand seeing you like
that.
377
00:17:34,260 --> 00:17:35,880
And I felt a tiny bit responsible.
378
00:17:36,960 --> 00:17:38,340
You got my mojo back.
379
00:17:38,980 --> 00:17:40,220
Bernie, I love you!
380
00:17:41,740 --> 00:17:46,959
It may cost me the super nurple of a
lifetime, but a man's gotta do what a
381
00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:48,010
gotta do.
382
00:17:51,500 --> 00:17:52,550
What's happening?
383
00:17:54,940 --> 00:17:57,300
Why am I so warm?
384
00:17:59,680 --> 00:18:01,300
Um, are you okay?
385
00:18:02,180 --> 00:18:07,559
I'm sorry I was quiet just then. I was
deep in thought. I must stand now and
386
00:18:07,560 --> 00:18:08,700
walk outside the store.
387
00:18:09,150 --> 00:18:11,440
And not come back inside no matter what
I hear.
388
00:18:19,650 --> 00:18:20,700
Hi.
389
00:18:21,030 --> 00:18:22,090
Sorry about that.
390
00:18:22,830 --> 00:18:27,410
That was my special brother. I look
after him. When I'm not busy being a
391
00:18:27,570 --> 00:18:29,710
hipper, less retarded version of him.
392
00:18:30,470 --> 00:18:31,930
That is so sexy.
393
00:18:32,590 --> 00:18:33,640
My God.
394
00:18:34,090 --> 00:18:36,620
Anyone ever told you you've got the neck
of a swan?
395
00:18:37,270 --> 00:18:38,320
Champagne?
396
00:18:39,210 --> 00:18:40,630
Oh, look who's back.
397
00:18:41,130 --> 00:18:43,660
Decided you want a little sexapalooza
after all?
398
00:18:43,830 --> 00:18:47,500
Just made that up. This is your last
chance to give me my rabbit's foot back.
399
00:18:47,501 --> 00:18:50,649
I have no idea what you're talking
about, so I can only assume it's somehow
400
00:18:50,650 --> 00:18:51,700
period -related.
401
00:18:52,390 --> 00:18:55,010
Boyd, Operation Lucky Fluffy is a go.
402
00:18:56,010 --> 00:18:57,060
Who's this?
403
00:18:57,590 --> 00:18:58,640
Over.
404
00:18:59,470 --> 00:19:01,760
Boyd, go with the plan. The one we
talked about.
405
00:19:02,390 --> 00:19:04,570
Right. I'm on it. Over.
406
00:19:05,151 --> 00:19:07,889
What happened to the power?
407
00:19:07,890 --> 00:19:09,570
I've been playing for hours. Hours.
408
00:19:09,830 --> 00:19:11,430
I was about to win $10 ,000.
409
00:19:11,431 --> 00:19:14,889
Maybe you should have thought of that
before you stole my lucky rabbit's foot.
410
00:19:14,890 --> 00:19:16,670
It's my rabbit's foot, psycho.
411
00:19:17,050 --> 00:19:18,100
Okay, you know what?
412
00:19:18,270 --> 00:19:23,130
Your bullying won't work on me, you
doughy, over -the -hill jock.
413
00:19:23,430 --> 00:19:26,140
I hope losing that money taught you a
valuable lesson.
414
00:19:26,410 --> 00:19:27,730
I found your rabbit's foot.
415
00:19:27,870 --> 00:19:28,920
Over.
416
00:19:28,921 --> 00:19:33,829
I'm sorry, what was that, Boyd? It was
under your desk.
417
00:19:33,830 --> 00:19:34,880
Over.
418
00:19:34,960 --> 00:19:38,480
So cutting the Power to Dance store...
Was completely unnecessary.
419
00:19:39,100 --> 00:19:40,150
Over.
420
00:19:44,360 --> 00:19:45,920
Did you really cut Dance Power?
421
00:19:46,120 --> 00:19:47,170
That's awesome.
422
00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:51,119
No, it wasn't awesome. I totally
overreacted. Now I have to give him two
423
00:19:51,120 --> 00:19:52,099
free rent. Yeah?
424
00:19:52,100 --> 00:19:54,270
I bet he was pissed you lost the
tournament.
425
00:19:54,271 --> 00:19:55,639
How did you know about that?
426
00:19:55,640 --> 00:19:57,119
Oh, I've been playing him all day.
427
00:19:57,120 --> 00:20:00,459
Thanks for taking him out. He was my
biggest competition, and now I'm one
428
00:20:00,460 --> 00:20:01,780
away from winning $10 ,000.
429
00:20:13,100 --> 00:20:14,600
That's what I'm talking about.
430
00:20:15,180 --> 00:20:16,240
Mmm, yeah.
431
00:20:16,700 --> 00:20:18,260
What are you looking at, creep?
432
00:20:19,640 --> 00:20:22,620
Oh, yeah. Mmm, you smell good. Yes, you
do.
433
00:20:22,621 --> 00:20:24,459
Excuse me?
434
00:20:24,460 --> 00:20:25,499
Perv much?
435
00:20:25,500 --> 00:20:27,790
Why don't you come over here and sit on
my lap?
436
00:20:28,620 --> 00:20:30,340
Yeah, I bet you got soft lips.
437
00:20:30,341 --> 00:20:32,399
You picked the wrong date of myth with
me.
438
00:20:32,400 --> 00:20:34,690
Mmm, yeah, let's get you out of those
clothes.
439
00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:38,980
It feels good. Oh, yeah.
440
00:20:39,740 --> 00:20:41,240
Let's see what you got up there.
441
00:20:42,570 --> 00:20:43,890
Look, it looks like a penis.
442
00:20:43,990 --> 00:20:45,490
Oh, my God, do you have a penis?
443
00:20:45,890 --> 00:20:50,350
Do you ever forgive me?
444
00:20:50,351 --> 00:20:54,529
Yeah, well, she wasn't really my type. I
mean, her eyes were too close together,
445
00:20:54,530 --> 00:20:56,170
and she'd never seen Sequest.
446
00:20:56,850 --> 00:20:57,900
Also, she had a penis.
447
00:20:58,130 --> 00:20:59,180
Yeah, I guess.
448
00:21:00,070 --> 00:21:01,120
So, are you ready?
449
00:21:01,650 --> 00:21:03,570
Peter, I don't think I'll ever be ready.
450
00:21:03,870 --> 00:21:05,550
Still can't believe that was a man.
451
00:21:06,870 --> 00:21:10,850
Yeah, apparently I accidentally signed
up for unexpected cocknexing.
452
00:21:11,530 --> 00:21:12,900
Still. Nice guy.
453
00:21:13,140 --> 00:21:14,480
I had a lovely time.
454
00:21:14,980 --> 00:21:16,030
Yeah.
455
00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:18,260
You really did get your mojo back.
456
00:21:18,980 --> 00:21:20,920
Yeah, but at what cost?
457
00:21:22,600 --> 00:21:23,660
Get this over with.
458
00:21:23,710 --> 00:21:28,260
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