All language subtitles for A Very Peculiar Practice s02e02 Art And Illusion

It's a long way from anywhere you've
ever been before.

Got to get your act together.

We're not sure.

We're not.

And it came to pass that Satan took wing
and flew into the barren lands

and delighted there.

And the people welcomed him, not knowing
him for what he was, for he was fair to

look upon, affluent of speech, and
brought with him massive research

cost plus financial facilitation, and
the seeds of sin and death.

My dear fellow, how are you?

Fine, fine.

I forgot you were here.

You look a bit peaky.

Troubled sleep?

An easy life ahead that wears the crown.

No, I'm great.

Just the normal panic, terror and
loneliness.

I'm raring to go, really.

Look, Jock, you really can't go on
sleeping here.

Think nothing of it.

Old Jock laughs at a little discomfort.

No, Stephen, I am perfectly content.

No, that wasn't what I meant. So, you
are sick at heart.

Panic, terror, loneliness, eh?

Yearning tragically for your lost love.
Well, of course you are.

You must invent yourself a new one to
love.

What do you mean?

It's all invention, Stephen. We live in
illusion.

Love is a great imaginative act. We need
to love, so we invent the lovable

person.

We fuse the monstrous dream of our
longing with the perishable clay of some

wee lassie who happens along at the
right time.

Am I not right?

No, it's not like that at all.

Ah, well.

It's a while since the McCannon Lions
thundered out their imperious demands.

Perhaps things are different now.

Stephen, I feel a chill in the air.

This morning, the Prince of Darkness
officially assumes his throne. Will you

attending the inaugural address?

I thought I would. Well, naturally,
ahead of the practice.

But be careful, Stephen.

Jack Daniels, a fitting name for the
Great Tempter.

His taste is sweet, but when we drink,
we die.

Forty quid for hockey sticks, though,
Daphne. A beggar's belief.

And why hockey?

Hockey's a game for fat girls and chaps
in turbans, isn't it?

I'm seriously thinking of taking the
boys away from that place. Let them take

their chance in Bass Street along with
the rest of them. If you do that, my

darling, I shall quite simply leave you.
Oh, right.

Hockey sticks. Fine.

Practice collapsing about me. Old fart,
totally senile. Dyke won't see male

patients. Fine.

Oh, and Dickie Dado generously informed
me I'm not to be done for negligence.

But he wants to bring in a shrink to
have a look at our professional

relationships. That's about the level of
his thinking.

Facilities we've got now, we could go
private and clean up.

Well, I'm sorry, but I'm not going to
carry that shower any longer.

It's not in my nature, Daphne, but I'm
going to start looking out for number

one.

Robert? Yes, my darling?

You always said I was your number one.

Well, of course you are, my darling.

We haven't had Nookie since a week last
Wednesday.

Really? Long as that.

Right.

Serious Nookie on the agenda tonight.

And Daphne?

Yes, my darling?

You take the BMW today.

I'll take the Fiat.

Oh, Robert!

be blind as a bat. Buddy, you drove into
my car, you maniac.

It's buzzard, isn't it?

I'll be in touch.

I'll be in touch.

Good God, he's done a runner.

It's no use, Platt. I know you.

You can run, but you can't hide from
Robert Buzzard.

No man is an island entire of itself.

Every one of us here today is part of
the same endeavor, the same dream.

Centuries ago, our forefathers, yours
and mine, crossed the ocean to make a

world founded on Europe's knowledge,
Europe's initiative.

Now I like to think we're bringing it
all back home, where it began, where it

belongs.

Here is the new frontier.

I guess we've all heard a lot about the
brain drain.

Well, in lowlands, we're reversing that
drain.

We're going to make the stream flow our
way now.

We're going to release and channel the
well springs of creation.

And I'm not just talking about a
trickle.

I am talking about a foaming torrent.

I know it's there, just waiting to be
released.

Well, now we can let it flow.

The world, east and west, is going to
look towards lowlands and they're going

say,

That's the way it should be.

I'm dedicating myself to that vision.

It's a humbling task, and I approach it
with humility.

No man is an island.

All I can say to you is, here I am.

Let's get together and do it, okay?

I'm so sorry, Dr. Buzzard, but it's the
professor of art history.

I've told him you've got a full list,
but he won't see anyone else, he says.

I'll just tell him to make an
appointment like anybody else, shall I?

Ah, plait.

Five minutes coming.

Oh.

Listen to this.

I quote from Gagliano in The Standard
Work.

The seated figure invites our inspection
with a tactile lusciousness.

The calm docility of a plump nectarine.

You hear what Galliano's saying?

He's saying women are like fruit.

That's what he's saying.

Okay. Next peanut.

Michael Angelo, the dying captive.

Does he look as if he's dying to you?

Come on.

Don't be scared.

He looks like he's just woken up.

Good. Fine.

Having a stretch, stroking his tits.

Nice little dick, eh?

Yes, I know, you're not allowed to talk
like this about a male nude.

Guess what Galliano says about this one?

Slim and curvy, like a green banana?

No, no. Men can't be like food.

We feel the unmistakable presence of a
divine power.

The soul triumphs.

over the corruptible flesh.

You see?

Men have souls. Women are fruit.

Okay. For Thursday, just take those two
images.

Read up all you can about them. Note the
way the experts talk about them, the

fruit, theology, all that.

Then, try to find some other ways.

Ways that work for you. All right?

But, Dr. Grotowska?

Yes, Sarah?

We haven't done anything like this
before.

Thinking for yourself, you mean?

Don't be scared of it.

It's what you're here for.

Hi.

You explain the grade you put on this.

Epsilon.

Alpha, beta, gamma, delta, epsilon.

But that's a fail.

Sorry. The work was not original.

You're accusing me of plagiarism.

Let's say it was a very long quotation
and you just forget the quote marks.

Why copy out of books? You don't find it
boring?

I want this marked by someone else.

Well, well.

Anxiety attacks and bladder spasm, eh?

No wonder you fled from the scene of the
crime. How old are you, 55?

52. Well, there you are.

It's like the shock absorbers in an old
banger, you see.

70 ,000 miles or so, leaking like a
sponge.

Well, it's back to the nappies and the
plastic pants for you, Professor Platt.

Proceed to mother care. Do not pass go.

Are you telling me that there's nothing
you can do?

Not much, buddy.

Not on the NHS, that is. Of course, if
you were to consult me privately, I

prescribe you an excellent new Swiss
urinary antispasmodic.

Not available for general release yet.
That should sort you out in no time.

As it is, Dr Buzzard, I'm not a wealthy
man.

Fine, suit yourself.

But in the circumstances... A very wise
decision.

I'm not going to sting you, you know. I
should think what you put away from last

month's conference expenses would cover
it, eh?

You're going to be fine, buddy. Don't
worry about a thing.

I'm looking after you now. Yes, now
about the car.

Don't apologise, buddy.

It's not a question of apologising, Dr
Buzzard. Absolutely not your fault.

Mansell himself couldn't cope with
bladder spasm. Now, you'll want to get

started straight away, and fortunately,
I think I have... Ah, yes, here we are.

This is the antispasmodic. Four of these
a day, you'll notice the difference by

tomorrow morning. And the beauty of
these little chaps is, not only do they

the old trouser -snaker, they make you
feel good as well.

Yes, I can see you're anxious to be off.
I want to see you again in a week.

You'll feel a new man by then. But if
there's anything at all between now and

then, well, I'm at your convenience.

Oh, Lord.

It's a nice space.

It's a beautiful space, Jack.

I guess computer studies deserves a
space like this.

Charlie?

Mrs. Daniels?

This is going to be an art gallery.

You think I came along to talk about a
comfort station for computers?

Julie, honey, you're going to have an
art gallery, but I guess it might take a

little while. We don't have the funding
right now.

Seven million from the Fertile Bomb
Foundation?

Mrs. Daniels, the Fertile Bomb money has
a laser tag on it.

We tried every which way to tap it, but
I guess the juice just wouldn't run.

Yeah, that's right, Julie. It's real
frustrating.

You bring me 6 ,000 miles to attack a
roach -infested pissant swamp,

and now you're telling me I can't have
an art gallery? Julie, honey, there are

no roaches. Those are ladybugs.

Now, Lowlands was a great place once,
and we're going to make it great again.

Sure, we'll get the funding, but it
might take a year or two.

Jack, in Fort Worth, Texas, even the
sewage disposal plant has its own art

gallery.

I want an art gallery, honey.

I want it now.

Ah, even in this world of woe and duty,
there are compensations.

Perhaps I shall not kill myself today.

Don't take any notice of him.

Oh, that's a nice cardigan. Thank you.
Where did you get it? Lima, Peru.

Ah.

Oh, please take it.

As a present.

Oh, no, I couldn't. No, no, no, no. I
want you to have it.

It's all right. I have 17 like this.

17?

Oh, well, if you're sure, thanks very
much. It's lovely.

Ladies, if I might interpose... I only
have to be here so it doesn't go banjax

with desire and try to jumpy, you see.

That's good.

Sounds to be a fine thing, eh?

Morgan.

Come over here, please, Miss Marivalas.

Maravillas. But you can call me Carla,
please.

Thank you.

Carla, my dear, there is absolutely
nothing wrong with you.

I may say I have rarely seen such a
healthy body.

No little tiny thing not quite right?

Not the tiniest.

Oh, I was afraid of this.

What's the matter, Carla?

Let me guess.

You sense the terrible creeping
paralysis of evil that infects the

it in those exquisite, finely tuned
young nerves, and experience it as

That's it, isn't it?

No.

Oh, dear, I am ashamed to say it. Oh,
have no shame with me. I have plunged

wallowed in the deepest abysses of shame
and am unshockable.

It's just that after two years of skies,
suddenly they make me work hard,

reading, writing every night.

I'm too lazy for this. I want a holiday,
lie on the beach two weeks, Copacabana

maybe.

But I don't want to hurt anybody's
feelings.

So I think maybe I get myself a medical
certificate.

My dear young lady.

What an eminently sensible plan.

Nervous debility should cover it.

I wish I could afford to join you, my
dear.

A personal physician and chaperone? My
father would be happy to pay your

expenses.

No, my dear, I am deeply touched, but I
feel my duty is to stay and be stunned,

stay and be humiliated, stay and bear
witness.

I hope you have a lovely time, Mr...
Maravilla.

OK.

What is it?

It's not AIDS, is it? I mean, if it is,
I want to know.

I can't take it.

I think.

Come over here, Mark.

I'm going to be absolutely straight with
you.

I can't find anything organically wrong
at all.

Oh, God.

Now, we'll do some blood just to set
your mind at rest, but I don't see how

could possibly have AIDS.

One steady girlfriend, both virgins when
you started, you simply don't have the

track record for it.

I really am losing weight. I just don't
fancy food at all. I wake up in the

night sweating.

Well, I don't think you need to worry
about that at the moment. You're not

exactly fading away, are you?

You just think I'm wasting your time,
don't you? You just think I'm some fat

fool who's no use to anyone.

No, I don't think you're wasting my
time. You've got a cluster of stress

symptoms.

Now, I know what that feels like.

I guess you're in a panic about
something.

You're in your final year, aren't you?
Yes.

Yes, you're right. It's just that... I
mean, art history's supposed to be a

doddle, right? And it was a doddle for
two years, and I was getting A's for

everything, and now I've got this new
tutor and I'm getting C's, and it's like

I've got to get my brain into a new
gear, and I just can't do it. I mean,

not like the rest of them. It's just
like finishing school for them, but I've

really got to get a good degree, and the
way things are going, I just don't

think I've got a snowball's chance in
hell of it.

Boring, boring. Shut up, Mark.

You think that's where the pain's coming
from?

Don't you?

Well, what am I going to do about it?

Couldn't you try talking to your tutor?

Yes, you're right. That's what I'll do.

She's ever so fierce, though.

I came to you because I thought you'd
understand.

Why me in particular, Sarah?

Well, everyone says you're gay.

Do they?

And on that basis, you thought I'd
advise you about how to seduce a member

staff? No.

Just talk about it.

Look, I'm sorry. I made a mistake.

No, I do understand.

And I will talk about it.

But I doubt if you'll like what I'm
going to say.

Most staff student affairs, as you know,
involve male staff abusing their power

over women students.

But any sexual relationship between a
lecturer and a student means that a

professional and power relationship is
being abused.

You do see that, don't you, Sarah?

Yes. I suppose so.

Oh, it's not fair.

I mean, it's because she's teaching me.
I... She makes the whole thing come

alive. I've never met anyone like that
before.

It's as if I've just been pissing about
till now.

And I can tell she likes me.

It's off limits, Farrah.

You're going to have to be very brave
and get it in perspective.

Believe me, I do understand what you're
feeling at the moment.

Do you?

How could you?

When's the shrink coming?

I tentatively arranged it for Thursday
the 16th, 6 .30, after evening surgery.

Hope that'll suit everyone.

A male psychiatrist, I suppose.

Well, yes, he is.

And he's going to analyse our personal
interactions within the team.

That's right.

I think we'll find it illuminating.

I'm sure we will. Tell me, who have we
got to, Pops or Eels?

It wouldn't be Mervyn Lillicrap from the
Crisis Centre.

Well, yes, it is, actually, Jock.

Ah, Lillicrap.

There'll be tears before bedtime.

I look forward to it, Stephen, with keen
anticipation.

Well, good.

Anything else?

What is the matter with the art history
department?

They're a total waste of space.

Next question.

No, hasn't anybody noticed? It's only a
little department.

We must have had a dozen of them here in
the last week. They are falling apart

at the seams.

Yes, thanks, Maureen. We'll look at the
cases and see if there's a pattern.

Well, there's no need for that. It's
obvious, isn't it?

They're getting the chop.

Down to the job centre along with the
philosophers and not before time.

Okay, art history.

How does it look?

Euthanasia territory.

I'm sure he's trying. Foreign students
on full fees, British students from

wealthy families.

Not too bright, most of them.

So he gets the odd little endowment, but
our academic standard's lousy.

We don't show him the top 40. What about
the research profile?

I thought the guy was supposed to be a
distinguished scholar.

Oh, yeah, I guess he was.

Hasn't done much in the last ten years,
though.

He has himself a nice time. Gets his
teaching done by junior staff and part

-timers for peanuts so he can go out
swanning around palazzos in Florence and

Vienna.

I guess we're an asshole county on this
one, Jack.

Okay,

Elaine, have him come in.

You know, I really wanted to put a piece
of culture up front.

But maybe not this one, right?

Professor Platt.

It's really good of you to drop by.

It's Percy, right?

Pierce, Vice Chancellor.

Yeah?

I guess you want to met Charles
Dusenberry. Helps out with finance.

How do you do?

Likewise. Great.

Let's talk, Purse.

Purse.

I want to tell you how much I personally
appreciate the fine work you've done in

your years at Lowlands.

Thank you, Vice Chancellor.

I guess a place like this has done well
to keep a distinguished scholar like you

all these years, Purse.

He must have turned down some real
tempting offers.

But you know how it is.

A little department in the sticks isn't
going to satisfy a guy like Purse. He

wants expansion.

We'd love to give it to him, but right
now we just can't deliver.

So we don't have any hard feelings,
Purse.

If you tell us you have to go, I guess
we just have to let you.

I'm very flattered, Vice Chancellor, but
I have no plans to leave.

I'm quite content to stay and make my
contribution here at Lowlands.

Purse, we're trying to tell you we have
a little problem here.

And what problem is that, Vice
Chancellor?

I guess you know the Pretty Man report
suggested closing down the department.

Oh, I do indeed, and I shan't waste your
time by pointing out the gross

misconceptions underlying that report.

But I think you'll be interested to hear
that I've just secured a very

significant endowment for the
university.

Lord Beville is offering Lowlands a
small but very distinguished collection

19th century paintings and drawings,
conservatively valued at several million

pounds, together with a very substantial
sum to purchase further major works by

major artists.

Now, Lord Beville's son happens to be a
student of mine.

And with the department closed down,
well, no doubt Richard would find a

in some other institution.

But so would the endowment.

Purse, you don't know how happy this
makes me.

You know, Charlie and I have been
fighting to save art history at

Hell, we've got research projects here
that are going to ensure our

civilization's survival.

But I guess we're here to remind people
what civilization is all about, too. You

know what I'm saying?

Oh, I do indeed, Vice Chancellor. First,
I want you to go ahead fast on this

one. The Lowlands Collection.

People are going to come on pilgrimages
to see it.

Now, this is just off the top of my
head. We're talking serious money here.

I'd like Charlie along to hold your hand
on the figures aspect when you go

shopping. That okay?

Of course.

And, uh, I think Julie would kind of
like to go along for the ride.

Do you mind if I... Oh, sorry.

Oh, hi.

Look, how that... Come on, sit down.
It's not a big deal.

How's things going?

The way my life goes, terrible
disasters.

I have landed myself in a crap
department.

My professor, what a jerk.

The big expert.

You know what he published last year?

Seven entries in a good hotel guide.

Nothing's going on in here at all.

And so lazy, I have to do all his
teaching on top of mine.

Five hours today.

I think I am... What do you call the
woman who does all the work?

I am the scrubber of the art history
department.

Not right?

It's OK, I'll get the picture.

Good.

How do you find the students?

Nice people, I suppose, but they don't
know anything.

No -one ever make them think before.

They hate to think, you know.

We've been seeing quite a lot of them at
the medical centre lately.

Hey, what are you saying?

Am I making the meal? Is that it?

No, not at all.

The thing is, I think that's exactly
what I'm doing.

Not very nice, eh?

You're exaggerating.

I guess you challenge the assumptions
about a lot of things.

It's bound to be a bit of stress.

Things will work out. It's early in the
year.

I should be like Platt. Do nothing all
year, then set an easy exam and leak the

answers and questions.

Everyone happy. No one has to think.
Everyone passes.

No work for the doctors.

Do you think I should do that?

No, I don't think you should do that.

I don't think you could do that.

Right.

Rude, nasty girl.

Well, so much for that.

Is that all you have for lunch?

Hey, listen, get it in your thick head
I'm not anorexic.

Just don't, like, catch it.

What's catch it?

Like that.

Oh, catch it, right.

Don't swear at the table.

Hey, you want to see me eat?

You come around to my place, I cook you
a meal, we get nice and drunk together,

and I tell you stories, OK?

It's awfully kind of you, but I don't
think it's a very good idea.

What's the matter? You don't like to
eat?

Yes, of course I do.

You have to rush home every night to
your wife and baby?

No, no wife, no baby. So?

Well, you're my patient, for one thing.

Am I asking you to jump in my bed?

Do you think I want your body? No.

Do you think I'm an active person? No,
all right. I accept. Thank you very

Well, don't do me any favors.

You sure turned around fast on our
history, Jack.

Well, sometimes you have to shoot when
you can't see.

It's okay.

Man delivered.

This is real serious money.

We're going to have an art gallery.

What's the matter, Charlie? Don't you
like painting?

Sure, I like them.

It's this guy Platt.

Somehow I just had him figured as an
asshole.

I guess I still do.

I kind of like old purse.

This campus needs a few guys in bow ties
talking about truth and beauty.

It's a good feeling, you know? Like this
is what civilization's all about?

Yeah, I guess that's the feeling.

The doctor calculated the casualties.

70 million brain cells, perhaps.

And the liver like an old football.

Jock?

You're not busy?

Never too busy to see you, my lovely
girl.

I've brought you a present, Jock.

A present?

For me?

I just wanted to...

Give you something. I hope it's the
right sort.

My dear, any sort's the right sort.

Oh, this is one of my especial friends.

Rose, I don't know what to say.

Eh, you're quite well, are you, Rose?

Jock, I feel terribly torn.

I want Stephen to succeed as head of the
practice, but I do feel that...

Bringing in an outside psychotherapist
is a mistake.

You do?

And so hurtful to you.

Ah, well.

In the past, when there were problems,
it was always you we came to. Was it?

Well, perhaps it was.

But an old man must learn to humble
himself.

And on mature reflection, Mervyn
Lillicrat might be the very man to unite

team.

You're so brave, Jock.

I'm just awfully frightened that this
session will...

Well, uncover emotional conflicts that
none of us can deal with.

And I just feel particularly vulnerable
at the moment.

That must be a novel sensation for you.

Yes, it is.

Jock, I think I've fallen in love.

Dr. Rosemary, I am an old man.

I am deeply honoured, of course, and
deeply touched.

But I'm sure you'd find it more
rewarding if you were to bestow the gift

lovely self on someone who could still
cut the mustard.

Jock, please, I don't think you quite
understand. No, no, my dear, not another

word. This is an illusion, a dream,
it'll pass.

These are trying times.

We're all vulnerable now, but we are
professionals, my dear. We must remember

that. Jock! You're sick to this state
with me.

Dr. Grutowska. Hello.

I was wondering if you can cope with my
M .A. group on Thursday afternoon.

I cope with everything else. Why not?

Let them all come.

I wouldn't ask, of course, but it's
unavoidable.

I have important business in London.

For the new gallery?

Yes, as a matter of fact, it is.

Who are you seeing?

Well, it's strictly confidential, but
Lieberman and Flett have come up with

exquisite brux.

You're buying brat from Silverman?
What's he got?

It's confidential, I'm afraid.

Dr. Dobson... I bet.

I've taken liberty of raising the grade
on Richard Bevel's essay.

He came to see me about it.

You raised it? What to?

Beta minus, I believe.

It was plagiarized. He copied it out of
Gumby. The work was somewhat derivative,

but sound enough, I tell you.

He needs very delicate handling.

He is a sensitive boy.

And his family have been very generous
to the university, you know.

Yes, I can see how that would be
sensitive.

Everywhere you look, sensitive students.

You know, in Warsaw there was one guy in
my class, so sensitive, he had to get

an A for everything.

His papa was a district police chief.

Well... That would make anyone
sensitive, I suppose.

Friendly with words, eh?

Say them often enough, they don't mean
anything anymore.

Daviero.

Daviero. Ravishing liquidity, no?

Remarkable.

Do you know, I'm inclined to put them as
late as 47.

Oh, excellent.

47, these two. This one, 48.

Karnovsky was in here yesterday.

He guessed 15 years wrong.

Well, it's easily done.

Karnovsky? Oh, well, he's not the man he
was.

Tell me, Mr. Sieberman, why have they
never been catalogued? Ah, you know

two summers in Jolipas?

Well, it seems he had a friend there.

Une petite amie. Ah, bien entendu.

The freshness of the tache, you see.

The vitality of a man in love, perhaps.

She died last year, you know.

I heard a whisper, I went down to see,
and I was lucky.

You see, Mellon Baum has endorsed the
province.

Ah.

Thank you.

Oh, please, madame.

Not so close with the cigarette.

You don't think the colors look kind of
bright?

Yes, indeed they do. You know, most of
us encounter the great painters first in

reproduction. So when we come face to
face with the real thing, what a

revelation. Sunlight after a stuffy
room.

Isn't that so, Professor?

Ah, davvero, davvero. The resonance of
the ding and zine.

Sometimes quite startling.

Well... My daddy's got two bracks and a
bank vault in Fort Worth, and they sure

as shit don't look like these.

Oh, you don't like the paintings, Mrs.
Venues?

Oh, sure.

They're a real party.

Well, I'm satisfied, Mr. Thielemann.

Mr. Dusenberry, I think we've reached
the time for your area of expertise to

come into play.

I didn't think we had an arrangement
tonight.

Well, I forgot. I'm sorry.

No, really, I don't think I... Look.

I don't know.

Midnight.

No, look, don't.

People. Problem.

Anyway, this was good work.

You're going to be fine.

And that's all you want from me, isn't
it?

Good work.

Yeah.

Don't knock it.

There is not a lot of it about.

Oh, sorry. Hi, come in.

Sarah was just going.

How about that for eating?

Very impressive.

Looking's very good, too.

Basic bouting. Better than ketchup.

Thank you.

You're a nice man, I think.

Anyway, so I am 18, I am married, I am
in Paris.

I'm Madame Dupont, just like a school
book. And the whole deal is all about

passport. Then, what did this bastard
do?

He only fell in love with me.

Well, it's not inconceivable.

He was a writer then, Antoine.

Bon copain.

In love, he was like a psychotic baby,
crying, fighting, always wanting sex.

I hate sex, don't you?

No, I don't, actually.

You like it?

All this body stuff?

Well, I wouldn't say I'd had an awful
lot of luck with it, but...

Yes, I do have a sort of sneaking
nostalgia for it.

And, well, being in love.

I forgot to tell you, you have to be out
of here 11 .30. That's all right?

Yes, of course.

So, your lover, she went off and left
you.

Well, she was offered this... Yes, she
did.

Best thing for her. Best thing for you.
Yes, well, I might feel like that in

about 20 years.

You had good sex with her?

Yes, very good.

I don't see it.

I think people pretend.

All the mess, all the stains, all the
confusion, diseases, cervical cancers,

AIDS now.

Blimey, who needs it?

Well, you're a doctor, you should know.

Um... Well, anyway.

Then I fell in love with this other guy.

He was really nice.

But we couldn't make it together.

I had to go into spas.

So embarrassing.

I don't know why.

Maybe because my husband used to rape
me, do you think?

Rape you?

Listen, I'm sorry. This is a bit heavy
for dinner conversations.

No, no, it's fine. Just not quite what
I'm used to, that's all.

I wanted you to know some stuff.

I don't sleep with anybody now.

Well, sometimes I do sleep with people,
but I don't have sex with anybody.

Yes, I see.

So, that's what I am like.

You want to take me on, you have to put
up with it.

I didn't say I wanted to take you on.

No, but you do.

Okay, now you're going to have some
pudding.

Funny.

Mostly I don't like fair -headed men.

They're cold and boring.

And you?

Maybe a little bit boring.

But not cold.

Well, thanks very much.

You're welcome.

Greta.

Why did you ask me around tonight?

You haven't enjoyed yourself?

Well, yes, I have.

I didn't really expect to.

Good.

Okay, that's it. Half eleven.

Oh, Lord, Harry.

Up you get. Where is the jacket?

Right, okay.

Look, you've fed up with me or
something.

I told you half eleven. You said, all
right, now it's half eleven. Okay?

Okay. I didn't realize you made it quite
so precisely, that door.

Well, now you know. Say thanks for a
nice meal.

Thanks for a nice meal.

Listen, don't be angry with me.

I'm sorry to push you out.

We'll work it out better next time.

Steven.

Oh, no.

I'm afraid Dr. Dacre's unavailable at
present. Perhaps I can help you.

I am Dr.

Dacre, Jock. You're in my bed.

Good Lord, so I am.

My dear fellow, I'm frightfully sorry.

I thought you might not be back tonight.
I thought you might have had a bit of

luck.

I'll turn out immediately.

No, it's all right. Stay there for now.

Oh, you're a very kind man, Stephen.

But really, Jock, this is really the
last time.

I've got enough on my plate without
running a doth house.

I fail to see what any of this has to do
with headaches and dizziness.

Well, I could just tell you to lay off
the old coat of your own, but it might

your eyes, you see, and nothing's too
much trouble for my favourite patient.

Come on, then.

What's this one?

Well, it's an extremely boring
pointillist pastiche a very long way

Bridget Riley.

That's all?

I mean, don't hold anything back.

You don't see any sort of shapes there?

Well, of course not.

Oh, blow me down.

How long have you been colourblind,
buddy?

Oh, it's all right, you know.

Nothing to worry about.

You'll be quite safe with me.

That's the beauty of private practice.

Stephen? Oh, hello, Rose.

Were you thinking of going to the
gallery opening this evening? Yes, I

would. Are you?

Don't be offended, Stephen.

I'm speaking as a friend.

But don't you think it would be better
for everyone if you stopped pursuing

What?

Who? Oh, Stephen.

Deviousness doesn't suit you.

I'm talking about Greta Grotowska.

She's very young, very vulnerable. She's
had some very bad times with men.

Of course you have to reassure yourself
you can still function in a sexual

arena. But to force yourself on someone
so fragile... I hadn't thought you were

that kind of man.

Oh, Rose, this is crazy.

That business with the medical was just
a misunderstanding.

It's all over and done with. So why are
you still pursuing her? I'm not!

I'm glad to hear you say that.

I hope I can believe you.

Perhaps I shall be able to help her
after all.

Help her in what way?

To find her sexual identity.

Isn't that what all of us want?

Hi, Steve.

Good to see you.

What do you think? It's beautiful.

You must be very pleased with it. Yeah,
I guess you made a statement here.

This is what we're putting up front.

This is the heart of it, Steve.

This is the real thing.

Ah, shit.

Excuse me, Steve.

Good evening, buddy.

Good evening.

Buzzards, the name.

Knew me now.

Saw the guide dog in the lobby, thought,
hello, Platt's here.

Well, I've got to hand it to you, buddy.

I don't know how you do it. I don't find
this very amusing. Just trying to cheer

you up a bit. Bad news from the Fiat
garage, I'm afraid.

They've diagnosed severe internal
injuries, massive trauma.

350 plus VAT.

It's a scandal, isn't it?

It's what you would expect.

Nice, safe face.

Nothing to make you pop your socks.

Lines. These are something else.

They're beautiful, aren't they?

Yes.

Very pretty.

I love girls.

Don't you think the color is maybe a
little bit bright?

Hey, yeah, you know, that's just what I
said.

But you and me, we don't know a deal as
far.

It's all to do with that, what was it?

The throbbing power of the dangling or
something.

Ask the jerk in the bow tie.

He'll tell you.

Everything okay?

You happy, Charlie?

Yeah, I guess so.

Everyone else seems to be.

I like to see Julie happy.

Hell, I like to see everybody happy.

How about friend Purse?

Well, he got us an art collection,
Charlie.

I'd say he's giving us his best shot.

Maybe there isn't a whole lot left for
him to do in Lowlands.

I figure that, yeah.

Wait till the rich kid graduates and let
the asshole go.

Seems kind of a shame, you know.

Still.

I guess that's what civilization is all
about.

So, having fun?

Well, no, not really.

You think I'm giving you a hard
shoulder?

Hey, come here.

I've got to tell this to someone.

I know the guy who did those.

Braque? I thought he'd been dead for
years.

He works in Paris.

I used to know him. He had a fight with
my husband once.

Braque. It's his very best thing.

Are you telling me that fake?

Are you sure?

I've seen one of them before.

Tadeusz did them for a guy called
Siebelman. The clever bastard.

I must phone him up and tell him. He
loves to be in permanent collections.

Good God.

Big truth, eh? Look, though, what are
you going to do about it?

What do you mean?

Well, shouldn't you tell Professor Platt
of the VC?

Do you think they'll believe me?

I'm just a rude, naughty girl from
Poland.

Anyway, Stephen, just look at them all.

So happy. They want to see Brax, so
they...

See Bragg? They're not seeing Bragg. How
can you say what they see?

You saw Bragg till two minutes ago. But
look, if they're not genuine... Do you

think you know what's genuine?

You see what you want to see, like
everybody else. But I don't know

about art. Art, people, whatever.

Do you think you know me?

I don't know.

I'd like to.

Well, not tonight, if that's what you're
thinking.

No problem.

Okay, I'm coming.

Good night.

Dear

daughter,

I confess that I am old.

Age is unnecessary.

Well, who knows?

The sand bay flew again.

Hello, my lovely girl.

Jock, are you all right? What's the
matter?

Nothing at all, me lass.

Jock has heard your inner cry.

I have come to take with you Rose.

Jock, it's not convenient.

Who is he, your father?

My dear, you speak better than you do.

I'm sure we'll all muck it together
famously.

Has not come empty -handed.

Mutton biryani.

Yes, right.

Well, let me share with you a few of the
reverberations I've been picking up. I

won't take up too much of the space.

Then I'd welcome your comments and we'll
see how we go from there, right?

Yes, that sounds fine.

Well, there's clearly a classic Oedipal
situation.

Oh, brilliant.

With the displacement of the father
figure dead, but he won't lie down, if I

put it colloquially.

The almost pathological unease I sense
from Stephen here in the leadership

well, that is something I can identify
with.

What is more problematical is the pseudo
-masochistic fantasy hovering around

Bob's relationship with both patients
and colleagues.

Robert, you little bastard.

Particularly the erotic tension inherent
in his interaction with Nurse Gagin.

You dirty -minded little git.

Maureen, he's using it as a metaphor.

Well, he can keep his metaphors to
himself.

And the almost overpoweringly mingled,
controlled hostility and

sexual attraction I'm picking up from
Dr.

Rosemary. I'll stop there for a moment
and open up.

Her space. I think these things work
best if we allow ourselves to be quite

and uncensored.

Well, thank you very much, Mervyn.

Anyone?

How would you like a punch on the snout,
Mervyn?

Pardon? No, actually, that's not quite
what I want to do with you. If I could

-associate a moment. Don't want to take
up anyone's face, but Mervyn here

reminds me of a snivelling little shit
we had in junior dorm.

Jenkins, his name was. And what we did
with Jenkins was hold him head down in

the box and pull the chain.

All right, Dr Lily Crap.

Fancy that, do you?

Do you realise you're confirming my
tentative hypothesis? Yes. Is that just

Jenkins said before the waters closed
over his greasy little head?

Well, I don't want to hog the discussion
arose.

Well, I'd have found Mervyn's analysis
much more convincing if he hadn't spent

the last half hour trying to look up my
skirt.

I never.

Yes, you did.

I saw you.

You're just like a dirty -minded little
boy you are with your nasty piggy little

eyes.

Morris. No, no, Stephen. Pre
-intercourse is of the... Interchange is

essence. It's just that I'm not used to
them.

They're down at the crisis centre.
They're not so, um... Give me a moment.

Bradley and Piggy.

I have to speak as a fine Dr Lillicrap.

Yes, yes, of course.

Dr Lillicrap. Yes.

We all need help.

We are all poor, forked creatures.

Even psychiatrists.

A lot of people don't realize that.

Yes, yes.

There's a lot of pain there, isn't
there?

Tell me, Mervyn, how does it feel?

Well, I can't pretend it's not a strain,
Dr. McCaffrey. No.

How does it really feel?

Right now, Mervyn.

Terrible.

How does it feel deep down inside?

I...

Poor wee man.

We're here, Mervyn.

We're here to help.

I'm sorry I looked up your skirt.

All right, Mervyn. Just don't let it
happen again.

That's all.

Mervyn?

Would you like someone to hug you,
Mervyn?

Yes.

Who would you like to argue?

Bob! Oh, Lord, look here, have I got to?

I think perhaps you should, Bob. Oh,
Lord!

Come on, then!

Oh!

Look here, if a word of this gets back
to Daphne, I'm... You see, Stephen, in a

crisis we work very well as a team.