All language subtitles for 2Point4 Children s08e05 Carry On Screaming.eng

Actually, I don't live here.

I'm a social worker.

We're ready for you now.

Well, I expect you're all on tenterhooks
to hear what I have to say about

Declan. So I'll try to get to the point
as quick as I can.

Thank you.

Only we find people get quite nervous
when they know we've been investigating

their family backgrounds in case we find
out something terrible about them.

I mean, it's not every family that when
I meet them for the first time they seem

to be a coven of psychopathic devil
worshippers the way you did.

But I'm glad we cleared up the
misunderstandings when we did because...

As you know, we like our foster families
to have certain qualities.

Loving.

But with a certain amount of discipline.

And above all, stable and reliable.

So I'm glad to tell you that as a result
of our inquiries, we find you eminently

suitable. And I see no reason why Declan
shouldn't be joining you permanently as

soon as we can make arrangements.
Wonderful news!

Right.

Inquiries?

I expect you all feel rather relieved.

Yes, we do.

So, is that it?

Well, there are one or two things to be
tied up, but, well, they just require

confirmation. If it's all right with
you, I'll come back first thing in the

morning to go through those.

Oh, yes, yes, that's fine. I just wanted
to put you out of your misery.

We're thrilled, aren't we? Yeah, but...
I'm so pleased.

Well, goodbye for now.

Bye. Bye -bye.

See ya.

Oh, thank God for that. I couldn't have
kept that smile up for a second longer.

It was like being in an episode of
Friends.

We're here for you.

No, no, no. It's more like a Twilight
Zone film. You know, the dickly family

horror. I've been waiting to fart for 15
minutes.

Like you never do it, Miss Flatulent. I
do not.

Yeah, you do. You just do it quietly,
then blame it on Harry. Mum!

Be quiet or I'll kill you both. Where's
the air freshener? Doesn't your gallon

of cheapo perking drown it out? It's
CK1.

Smells more like WD -40.

Nobody said anything to me about
investigating our family backgrounds.

And what was this for?

Well, I thought it might make me look
more fatherly.

Oh!

I'm trying to make...

Sit for humans.

You never worry what gets into your
college bedroom.

Oh, David Potter, I hate you!

Stop it! Stop it! Yeah, well, they can
just keep their big noses out of my

family background because... No!

Sorry,

I forgot to say it earlier.

When we were investigating your family
background, something came up. Oh?

When we...

To your uncle.

He asked if we'd give you his number.

Dad doesn't have an uncle.

His dad had a sister, Auntie Ruby.

Her and her husband brought Dad up. Oh,
yes, that's right.

But this is your mother's brother.

I'm afraid we couldn't trace your
mother.

No, we don't talk about her.

We think she went abroad.

Thank you.

Well, I'll see you bright and early.

I'm sure they didn't mean to pry.

They just check as a matter of course.

Oh, Harry!

Who do you think you're fooling?

He's not here.

I think you'd better find him.

Don't want him getting out loose again.

Oh, right.

I'll do downstairs.

Harry? You outside?

Never even knew I had an uncle.

Well, you have.

Shall we give him a ring?

No.

Well, obviously he wants you to.

Yeah, well, why didn't he ring me? I
mean, he's only had for 40 years.

Did your mum ever mention anything about
her brother?

Well, how would I know? I was three when
she left.

Well, that'll be it, then.

Probably didn't know where you were.

Yeah, I suppose so.

Just do us a favour, will you? Put it
somewhere else, you know?

Oh, maybe I'll give it a ring this time.

Is this his name?

Who knows?

What is it, Croatian or something?

Bill, can you just put it away
somewhere, yeah?

Right.

All right, I can see you're not going to
stop nagging until I do ring it.

Perhaps now I can get a bit of peace.

No reply.

Should have known.

Look, just leave me alone, yeah? I'll be
all right.

Oh!

I am Death, the destroyer of worlds.

I think it's for you.

Eh?

Who's in there?

Carol Haldeman. She's in everything.

Oh, ha, ha, ha.

You said I could borrow the van to get
to Shoreditch. Yeah, but I didn't know

you were going to be driving around
dressed up like that. What are you

I'm going round old people's homes,
touting for business.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

You're always on about Halloween.

What's up with you tonight?

Oh, nothing here.

Thanks. Make sure you're back by
midnight.

Why? What happens then?

You change back into a short -arsed
plumber's mate.

I have got a scythe, you know. Yes, have
a...

He's down in the cellar in the corner
behind a box. He just won't come out.

Look, just let me do it.

Harry!

Squeaky nun!

Shall I get out, Mr Floppy? That usually
works for me.

It's no good.

You won't budge.

He looked as if he might come out, but
when you shouted, he went back. Me?

Have you frightened him somehow? No.

Ben,

that was your uncle's home help. They
dialed 1471.

Home help?

He's not in the best of health.

Oh? She said it might be wise to come as
soon as possible.

Why?

I've been waiting for a new distributor
cab to arrive from Detroit.

Oh, wonderful.

Well, I've managed to get a minicab. It
wasn't easy on Halloween.

Right.

What are you doing?

Nothing.

Why does hair grow everywhere except
where you want it to? You look fine, I

you. It's even sprouting out of my ears
now.

I don't care what you look like. I
suppose not.

You need a coat. It's still pouring
down.

I said it was going to be fine.

It'll be here any minute.

All right, I'm ready.

Hello. Are you off?

Yeah. Keith will be wondering where I've
got to.

I can just make it back for the evening.

Thanks for coming back for that. Ah,
that's all right.

We want them to think we're OK, don't
we?

Bye, Dad.

Bye. What is it? Halloween disco?

That's right. A disco.

And I'll be going with John Travolta and
two of the Bee Gees.

Give me five minutes alone with Keith
and I can make him sing in that voice.

Have a nice time.

Thanks.

Um, do you have a nice time too?

Well, you know what I mean.

Bye then. Bye.

Oh, that'll be the cab. Will you tell
him we're coming?

Will do.

Come on then.

Bill, I'm not sure about this. I mean, I
hardly know the bloke.

He's your uncle.

Yeah, but... What?

Well, why did that social worker say
she'd have to come back? I mean, what

they found out about me?

You heard her. She's just waiting for
final confirmation.

Yeah, but what do they know that we
don't? Nothing.

Oh,

I don't know.

I know nothing about him, you know.

I mean, he could be... anything.

Perhaps we'd better just leave it, eh?
Oh, for goodness sake, stop being so

I mean, what is there to be afraid of?

What number was it again?

Er... 400.

This is it.

Oh, good.

I was dreading it being somewhere really
depressing.

Well, aren't you going to drive us to
the door?

The gates are padlocked.

How much is that?

£19 .40.

Here you are.

Sorry, I've got a fare in ten minutes.

Yes, but... Oh, no!

Shall we just go home?

No!

There's a house just up here. Must be
the keeper's coffee. Come on and we'll

get... Don't!

Why do they always say that?

Keeper's house? That's right. You'll be
the people who've come to see him.

The cemetery keeper?

Is it you I spoke to on the phone? Yes,
come in.

Oh, right. Thanks.

Oh, do take off your coats.

Right, thanks.

Oh.

You're the nephew, aren't you?

How did you know?

Well, I've seen your picture often
enough.

Picture? Yes, it's that.

Oh.

Did you know they found him undressed in
the middle of the cemetery in the

pouring rain?

Quite honestly, it's lucky he didn't
catch his death running a fever of 102.

Still, I think we've caught the
bronchitis in time. Now, I've put him to

He's not had his pill yet. And the night
nest will be here in a little while.

Where are you going?

On to the next one. I've got three more
to undress.

Yeah, but... I'll be thrilled to see
you.

Bye, then.

Bye.

Must like Alsatians. I suppose he's got
one.

No, if he had it, it'd probably be a
throat spiner. Oh, stop it.

Why are we whispering?

Well, we don't want to scare the life
out of him. Oh, heaven forbid.

Go and open the curtains.

Why?

Because there might be a streetlight.

In the middle of a cemetery.

Oh, right.

I'll do it. You go round there and wake
him up gently.

All right.

I've terrified him. I've terrified him.
No!

It's all right.

It will come in. No, it's stopped now,
look.

No!

Look, no rain now, see?

Nothing on my hand but the moonlight.

Oh, please, no.

Close the curtains.

All right.

I can't see a thing.

Oh, hang on, I think there's a little
light here.

There.

I'm his wife, Bill.

Right, well, it was nice to meet you.
We'll be off now, then. Where are you

going? Well, you heard what your home
help said.

He needs his rest. We'll come back some
other time. Bye -bye.

Ben.

Yeah?

Little Ben.

Yeah.

I have picture.

I have picture.

Oh, is this what you mean?

Big Ben now.

Insulted by a fever -crazed geriatric.
Shush.

Oh, look what you've done.

Please, please.

This is what you want?

You want this?

All right. Better now.

Ben.

Come here.

He's not going to grab me again, is he?
Go on.

I am your uncle.

Lon.

Uncle Lon.

Hello.

You have the eyes of your mother.

Where is she? Is she still alive?

I don't know.

I have not seen her for very long.

Me neither.

Something to give you very important.

Oh, yeah? You must know your history.
Know everything.

What do you mean, history?

Open the box.

Open the box.

I'd rather take the money.

The box!

What box? The box, box!

Yeah, yeah, yeah, all right, all right.
I think we got the box.

Pass down to the male of the family.

Time for you to know. I think he means
this.

Yeah? Uncle Lon, is this the box?

Uncle Lon?

Uncle Lon?

No, he's just dropped off. Uncle Lon!

Wake up! Uncle Lon! Hello?

Is this the book?

It's locked.

Wake up!

Did you give him one of these?

Yes, he seemed to want one. Why?

There is sleeping pills.

What? There he's out for the count,
isn't he? Oh, no. Uncle Lon, I'm sorry.

Great. I'll finally find someone who can
tell me about my past and you drug him

up. I didn't mean...

Now we've got to sit here watching him
snore until the nurse comes.

Well, that's all right, isn't it? He
probably knows you're here.

I expect it'll help him to get better.

When he does, he can tell us properly.

Hmm. I suppose.

Is it still raining?

Ah, stop now. That wind's blown all them
clouds away.

Oh, dear me.

And to think I was worried about air
spreading out my ears.

Stop it!

Do you think I'm going to end up looking
like him?

Why should you? Well, it's my uncle.

I don't look like my uncle.

You look like your Aunt Annie.

I don't. You do.

She's a hag.

You don't look the same. You just look
like she would have done at your age.

Oh.

Good. You will look like her eventually,
obviously.

Oh, thank you.

Well, it's inevitable, isn't it? It's
passed down through the family.

That's what he said.

Yes, but he didn't mean anything like
that. No, he said, passed down...

Through the males in the family. Oh, my
God, I'm a haemophiliac. No, you're not.

You'd know by now.

Why? What is it?

It's something you've never had or
likely to get.

You can't stop bleeding.

I am a heavy bleeder! You're a silly
one. It's nothing like that. Calm down.

What could it be, then?

Well, probably just heart disease.

Heart disease?

Yeah. Lots of people have it in their
families. If you had it, you'd want to

know about it. No, I wouldn't.

Well, what else can he have meant?

I don't know.

Oh, that'll be the nurse.

Ah!

Hello.

Run now. David caught me as I was coming
in. He said you might be needing a lift

back. Thank goodness. Come in.

It's taken me five minutes to get up
that drive.

Good thing it's stopped raining.

Oh, how's it going?

The uncle's asleep for the night. We've
got to wait for the nurse.

That can't look good on the other side
of the wall.

What are you doing?

Forcing this open.

Stop it!

Don't you see? It's all in the box.

What is?

What Uncle Long got me here for tonight.
What he wanted to warn me about. The

curse of the porters.

He didn't say anything about a curse.
Yes, he did. And look what happened to

him. He ended up naked in the cemetery
in the middle of the night. He had an

infection. He was delirious. No, it
wasn't. It was the curse. He said so. I

don't want to hear any more about this
nonsense.

What did he say the curse was?

There is no curse. That's not what he
said.

He said it was passed on by the males in
the family.

What is?

We don't know.

That's all he got out before someone
slipped him a Mogadon. It was his time

it. Now, can we forget about this stupid
curse?

Ah, so you admit there is one? No, I...

If something is passed on through the
mail, that means David could get it as

well. Shouldn't you try and find out
what it is?

Oh.

Oh, now will you let me open the box?

Oh, well, perhaps it wouldn't do any
harm to have a quick...

Thank goodness.

Nothing but an old photograph of another
dog. Dog?

Yeah, look.

It's got some writing on the back.

Like... Lupus Humana.

Oh, well, there you are, Lupus. See?

No.

I forgot they didn't make you do Latin
at school.

Lupus! It's not a dog, it's a wolf.

And Humana?

Well, that usually means human, but I
don't see what that's got to do with it.

They found him outside?

At night?

Naked? Yes.

It's passed on by the males in the
family?

Wolf?

Human?

Don't you see?

No. He's a werewolf!

Don't be ridiculous!

Oh, come on, Ben! How could he be?

I'm trying to say something.

Boy. Good boy.

Probably start howling soon if we are
not careful.

What? It's the moon that starts you off,
boy.

Uncle Don, what do you mean, what boy?

My God.

That means I'm a werewolf too.

No, you're not.

Well, how do you know?

Because there's no such thing.

Are you sure?

Of course. I'm sure.

Then why did Uncle Lon make me draw the
curtains about against the moonlight?

That's what starts off the changing, you
know. The light of the full moon.

He's right, Bill. I saw the Hammer film
with Oliver Reed.

You went to a film with Oliver Reed?

No, no, he was in it.

But it was when the moon came out that
he got all snarling and subhuman.

Admittedly, he got like that after five
drinks anyway.

Yeah, but he was still quite sexy.

I thought so too, even when he got fat.

I quite liked him when he was fat. Will
you shut up about...

Not unless you go out into the
moonlight. That's what happens with

He's not a werewolf. Oh, that's easy for
you to say. All right, you are a

werewolf. It's a terrible disease that's
passed down through the men in the

family. Why have you never turned into a
wolf before?

But perhaps it only happens at certain
times of the year, like the cricket

season. Yes, it only happens at special
times.

Well, even if this was the special
season, Ben was out in the moonlight

nothing happened. Yes, but the clouds
hit the moon then. They've gone away

Yes, but... Don't open the curtains, you
lady!

He may be right, Bill. His uncle's very
hairy.

All right, there's one thing that would
convince me.

What? Earlier on, you stuck your hand
out of the window and said there was

nothing on it but moonlight.

Oh, my God, so I did. Right, let's see
your hand then. See if it's hairy, and

it is... What is

that? I told you, it's starting already.

a moment.

If I stay out of the moonlight, I should
be all right.

This is impossible.

Oh, no.

Rona, when you saw David tonight, did he
say he was going out?

No.

Don't worry. He said he was going to go
up to his bedroom early.

Then look for UFOs through the skylight.

Skylight? Oh, no!

Quick.

We may not have much time.

Whatever you do, nurse, keep the
curtains closed.

We might just be in time.

It's ridiculous!

Come faster!

How's that been up here?

So that's everything, then. And Declan
will be joining you as soon as we can

make arrangements. Thank you. Not at
all. I just hope you didn't find the

too nerve -wracking. Not at all.

Oh, no.

Bye. Bye.

Well, it was the mongrel from round the
corner. The woman said thanks.

Oh, never mind, Harry.

Not every dog's a hero.

Fat lot of use he is, keeping stray dogs
out of the house.

Could have saved us a lot of trouble.

And speaking of saving us trouble,
brings me to this.

Ah, yes, well, that was just an
unavoidable misunderstanding.

What is it? Nothing.

Galp gain 99.

Maximum strength genetically engineered
hair lotion. Do not exceed the stated

amount. Always use the rubber gloves
provided to apply to the head.

Registration Bureau.

Well, it looked good on the internet.
Usually you need a special prescription

for that stuff.

Because it can grow hair on your palms.

Well, at least we know it works.

And your uncle's home help phone first
thing. He's feeling much better today.

Oh, is he?

Did she say anything else?

Yeah, she did. She said he was a
pedigree malamute breeder for 30 years.

Malamute? Yeah, you know, them big dogs
look like wolves.

Winning crust.

in 1952 with his supreme champion, Lupus
Humana, a picture of which he keeps

locked away.

A dog was what he was talking about when
he was asleep.

Yeah, well, that's what I suspected all
along.

It's just some harmless old geezer.

Well, now's your chance to find out.

Gran, she never told me. I thought he
could tell you himself.

Come in, Uncle Lon, into the warmth.

Don't worry, we'll get him back safely.
Gran, when he woke up this morning, he

was so happy.

Bye. Bye.

This is for you.

What is it? The real box he was trying
to tell you about last night. The one

that's passed down through the mails of
the family.

Now you will find out your history.

Go on, open it.

Hold on. Yes, you can.

Look. Oh, look.

Here's me.

And there's me with your... There's me
with your other grandma.

Never seen her before.

She looks nice.

Yes, she is with... Great -grandma and
grandpa.

Never even heard of them.

Oh, look at them.

So now you know. There's no horrible
secrets in your family.

Just a lot of people you haven't got to
know yet.

Thanks, Uncle.

And I'm sorry I haven't seen you for so
long.

Are you going to kiss me?

No.

Good, I hardly know you.

So now when Declan comes, you can show
him your mum as well.

Yeah. Oh, look, here's some more. Look.

Oh, look, here she is with some old
geezers.

Here she is with some old biddies. Uncle
Lon's right.

I am going to find out about my family
history.

Yes!

Oh, look.

There she is with the rabbi.

The rabbi?

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